("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._
`6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`)
(_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-'
_..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'
(((' (((-((('' ((((
K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N
_________________________________________
WARNING!
This text file contains sexually explicit
material. If you do not wish to read this
type of literature, or you are under age,
PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!!
_________________________________________
Scroll down to view text
Archive name: faeries.txt (fantasy)
Authors name: Lor Oldmann (jamwad@hotmail.com)
Story title : Faeries
--------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author © 2002. Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story. You may post freely to non-commercial
"free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites.
Thank you for your consideration.
--------------------------------------------------------
Faeries (sexual fantasy)
by Lor Oldmann (jamwad@hotmail.com)
***
Author's Note: Another pseudoantidisestablishmentaria-
nistic and certainly not-to-be-taken-too-seriously piece
of non-fiction. Contains a few expressions of an adult
nature. Some human oddities may find it highly erotic
and wish to copy the techniques described, if so, once
again, that's their problem! Or perhaps their partners'.
***
Human beings belong to several racial types: the so-
called Caucasian, Mongol, Negro and Semite races. These
types can be divided and sub-divided almost endlessly to
give us Aryans and Celts, Polynesian and Pygmy, Jew and
Arab, and so on. We even get divisions according to how
the mind work (or doesn't) to give us Christian and
Hindu, Moslem and Jew, agnostic and atheist, class A
readers of newspapers and idiots whose idea of reading
matter is the comic supplement to a Sunday tabloid, or
how they behave like criminals, prostitutes, politicians,
etc. Human beings are like that; they see people as
either Them or Us! They never see themselves as others
see them!
This may come as a shock to some. But FAIRIES ARE NO
BETTER! In fact, in many ways they are much worse.
Whether or not you believe in fairies, these are the
facts as far as they can be ascertained from data made
available to people who are convinced that the place
fairy lore has occupied in the development of human
thought is a subject worthy of serious study.
In many ways fairies are similar to human beings - in
their appearance, for instance. They have similar facial
features, for instance, with eyes, a nose, mouth and
ears. They comprise a skeleton, not all that different in
its basic shape and function from ours, muscles, flesh
and a coetaneous covering not at all dissimilar to the
skin of humans, they have a nervous system and a means of
circulating life blood to all parts of the body, they
breathe, eat and drink, excrete and urinate like every
other living creature, they have sexual urges (and how!)
and produce babies. And they talk. Christ! How they talk!
They talk constantly about sex, before sex, while they
are having sex, and after it! They joke about it, have
serious debates about it, laugh at it and cry over it.
Fairies are to be found in every culture. The Fairy Tales
of the Brothers Grimm, Charles Perrault, Hans Christian
Andersen and all the others of that genre are more than
matched by the fairy stories told by the Australian
Aborigine or the North American Apache or Comanche, and
certainly couldn't hold a candle to the Gaelic tales of
an sidhe in the Hebrides in Scotland or of the
leprechauns of South-west Ireland. The Chinese painted
fairies on delicate vases at a time when the Anglo-Saxons
were still struggling with basic vocalisation.
Even the Eskimo has his fairy lore and the Aurora
Borealis is there to prove to him the reality and the
power of the fairy folk. The Voodoo of the West Indies
originated somewhere in West Africa as ju-jou, the basic
meaning of which word is 'fairy play'.
The shock may continue when one learns that in parts of
Eastern Europe, the original vampires were not the undead
or the followers of Vlad IV, but tiny fairy folk who
could only keep themselves alive by sexing with and
partaking of the blood of hot-blooded living animals
including humans, preferably very young children. Or that
the fairy folk of Spain are thieving little bastards who
only have six days in the week for on Sundays they seem
to evaporate only to reincarnate on Monday morning even
more vicious and worse tempered than a Barcelonan whore
who has been cheated out of her due financial rewards.
There are five main type of fairy (corresponding, some
believe to the five points of a pentacle). The smallest
are about four centimeters tall as fully-grown adults,
and have a wingspan of about five centimeters. These
creatures inhabit fairy groves and dells and are
supposedly responsible for fairy rings and circles. They
frolic naked under mushrooms or toadstools and dance,
equally naked, by moonlight.
When they dress, which some of them do in the way that
human children love to 'dress up', their clothes are made
of gossamer or grass, the petals of dandelion and daisy
and that sort of thing. They eat and drink sparsely, sex
profusely at every given opportunity and breed like
mosquitoes, hibernate in cold, wet, windy or otherwise
inclement weather, during which periods they fornicate
like it was going out of fashion, and then they die after
living their lives to the full for approximately eighteen
months to two years of our time which in their case is
equivalent to a life expectancy of seventy-five years.
These tiny beings are sometimes called faes or aeriels
and represent the prototype for Ariel, the airy spirit in
'The Tempest' by William Shakespeare, Tinker Bell in
Barrie's 'Peter Pan', and for the creatures that created
all the rumpus in Cottingley at the end of the First
World War.
The origin of these tiny creatures is extremely difficult
to pinpoint, but a remarkably good case can be made out
for the southeastern corner of Scotland or the northeast
of England at the time of the poets Aneirin and Taliesin.
These (British) fairies were taken over by the Angles in
their conquest of this part of the world, and became a
vital part of Northumberland culture and influenced the
work of the Venerable Bede and Saint Cuthbert. And
Northumbria being the brain-box of the Anglo-Saxon
invasions of Britain (which is not saying a lot), their
fairy lore became the accepted light entertainment and
the soap operas (and the porn sites) of the day. People
in the early Middle-Ages would sit outside all night for
weeks on end hoping to catch a glimpse of these tiny
creatures having sex, because, apparently, their
technique was out of this world, and not to be viewed by
maiden aunts or children.
At the other end of the scale are the sidhichemor
(pronounce it as 'shee-ikhy-more') or 'great fairy' who
reach a fully-grown height of seven or eight feet (210-
230 cm). The fairy queen who met Thomas the Rhymer on the
Eildon Hills was one of this breed. They are not to be
trusted in the least and normally behave in a most
unfairylike manner. They are rather partial to gold or
silver or anything else owned by human beings and would
steal it as soon as admire it.
They flatter, cajole, threaten, kidnap, hypnotize, rape
and murder with the skill and easy conscience of a
Barbary pirate. These creatures live mostly underground
or in caves deep in hills and mountains. They have a
rather austere, almost Presbyterian sex life among
themselves; they prefer sexual intercourse with humans.
Their women only occasionally produce young, and these
are mostly male; on the whole, they prefer to abduct
young female babies (changelings) and bring them up to
breed. This crossbreeding begins when the girl is pre-
teen, usually about eight or nine, and pregnancy first
occurs when she is ten or eleven. The children of these
children are invariably of the same kind as the father,
that is sidhichemoran.
Only rarely is a human or half-breed born, and when this
happens the neonate is taken outside the community and
left in the wild to die. In addition to changelings,
young human girls aged from about seven to eleven are
abducted and used as sex slaves by young sidhe males who
would be the equivalent to our sex-mad teenagers. Males,
both youngsters and mature men, are also abducted to
serve the fairy females, girls from the age of seven or
eight, and women until they are extremely old, far older
than we would expect any human, except Moses, to be
capable of a successful sex life. Sometimes these sex
slaves are released when they have served their purpose.
Traditionally, this period of sexual service was seven
years, as, for example, in the case of Thomas the Rhymer.
Young girls, in particular, on their release are usually
incapable of a full sexual relationship with a human
partner, because sexual intercourse with a fully mature
sidhe male can last several hours during which the female
is provided with more orgasms than the fittest human
lover is capable of in a week. The JM Barrie play Mary
Rose is supposed to be based on the story of one such
release; another female with fairy sex experience was
allegedly one of the six wives of King Henry VIII, but
which one is anyone's guess, for which respectable female
could have had sex with such a grotesquely egocentric and
ungainly character and enjoy it?
While in captivity, young girls were either kept naked
or, more usually, dressed in a short (very short) green
velvet skirt and a loose, almost transparent tunic or
tank-top which would clearly exhibit their development to
any interested party. The sidhe were partial to small
breasts and prominent navels, features absent from their
own females. The traditional fairy costume of the
Christmas pantomime is supposedly modeled on this ancient
preference.
The most authentic reports of these creatures come from
the south-west of Ireland where stories dating back three
thousand years can still be told to you, if you are
lucky, in Gaelic. Many of the tales have been bowdlerized
because of pressure from the Roman Catholic Church, but
are still related with the odd wink in the proper places.
The most famous of these tales concern the activity of
the 'banshees' or 'fairy wives' as they bewail the loss
by premature death of a human male they had hoped to
seduce.
Some of the Irish tales must have crossed the sea with
the Scots, for parallel versions are to be found in the
Hebrides and the Highland of Scotland and are to be found
to this day in the stories of Molly Hunter. There are
those who believe, however, that the tales of the
'sidhean' are really about the Picts who once inhabited
Scotland north of the Forth and Clyde, but if there were
to be any substance to this belief we would have to
extend their territory to the farthest corner of Ireland.
The remaining three types of fairy, taking their proper
places between these two extremes, are the groups in
ascending order of size:
(a) elves, elfs or, more probably, oelfs
(b) gnomes a name coined by Paracelsus and
(c) goblins or, more properly, kobaloi
none of which conform to any of the preconceived nursery
or kindergarten ideas cultivated throughout history to
culminate in the television cartoon film.
The elf is a miniature human dwarf. In many ways, most of
them on the worse side, they are the nearest of the fairy
folk to human beings. Some of them have wings of a sort,
but most do not. Apart from the fact that their ears are
proportionately larger and taper to a point and that
elfen noses and chins are much more pointed and
prominent, they could pass as tiny human children, and
like human children, they can be wicked little bastards,
and are to be avoided like bubonic plague. They love to
play tricks on other fairy creatures and on human beings.
Some of these pranks are comparatively innocent, like
matting a sleeping child's hair, tying knots in clothing
or stealing the last from the cobbler or the needle from
the tailor.
Most of their trickery is, to put it mildly, extremely
dangerous and not to be tried at home by inexperienced
little pranksters. Among the catastrophes attributed to
elfin (elvin or elfen) activity are listed the Children's
Crusade, the Great Fire of London and the Tay Bridge
Disaster. They have been known to poison wells, set hay
lofts ablaze, sour the milk of cows, abort calves, tear
up newly planted turnips, and generally make bloody
nuisances of themselves out of pure malice or spite.
In medieval England, it was believed that the only way to
counter the evil little bastards was to tell nice stories
about the good things they were supposed to have done,
like clean up untidy houses while the inhabitants are
asleep; in other words, use flattery, but wink in all the
appropriate places like the Irish, just in case God was
listening!
Attributed to these elfen people were, among other
exquisite things, the wet dream and unexplained
pregnancies. They had a disturbing habit of climbing into
bed beside a sleeping human and doing naughtier things
than tear holes in a nightshirt. They could make a
teenage virgin pregnant without breaking her hymen and
masturbate a fully-grown man without his consent or
knowledge, and one is tempted to wonder what the point
was! The female-on-top horse-riding position was invented
by them as was both kinds of oral stimulation, that is,
fellatio and cunnilingus.
Contrary to popular opinion, Peracelsus did not invent
the gnome; he simply put a name to it! Don't look it up
in the classical Latin lexicon, for gnomus simply isn't
there! Think of your average garden gnome, then forget
the image, for the gnome is nothing like the Disney
version of the dwarves in Snow White. They are dour to
the point of being psychotic and more than all the other
fairy folk they keep themselves very much to themselves;
they have few dealings with any other kind and any such
are always processed through intermediaries - hybrid
dwarves, half-breed sidhe, faeries of the first order,
and so on - and even on this scale, such dealings are
done through locked doors or at a distance. They live
underground, rarely surfacing, and guard the secrets of
life, the universe and everything, and hoard treasure,
being particularly fond of gold and silver and sparkly
things like diamonds.
In ancient folk lore there is always a dragon, serpent,
giant worm or some such horrid creature associated with
these little people and anyone who would communicate with
them has to deal with this beastie first. They sex a lot,
but breed little - they don't have to, for they live
virtually for ever. Their sex is of every kind except
rape and is confined to their own kind; they indulge in
some heterosexual activity among unrelated mature adults,
but are innately homosexual and incestuous, have full
penetrative sex between adult and children of all ages
and of both sexes, and masturbate when they have nothing
better to do.
Non-consensual sex, however, is unknown and every sex act
is preceded by a long-winded agreed verbal contract that
what is about to take place is with the consent of both
parties, their ancestors and descendants to the nth
generation. With any other creature, such foreplay would
tend to be off-putting, but gnomes seem to enjoy it as
much as the actual fornication itself.
They only eat infrequently, but when they do they make
absolute pigs of themselves and consume great quantities
of fish, frogs, water snakes and anything else caught in
subterranean lakes and rivers, fresh meat including human
flesh, fruit and vegetables, mosses, ferns, lichen,
insects, earthworms, and many more things too disgusting
to mention even on a website. They drink beer, a wine
made from fungi, mead, and a kind of distilled liquor
made from rotting vegetation and stagnant underground
water which is reputed to be around 75 proof even before
the distilling process has commenced.
The main cause of death is murder; they are argumentative
little buggers and think nothing of slitting the throat
of a crying child or an irritating old man with a cough.
The chance of survival of any human beings who, like
Alice falling through her rabbit hole, find themselves in
their world is, to say the least, not worth calculating.
To sum up, the gnome is fat, ugly, sexually weird,
disagreeable and highly dangerous.
And lastly we have the goblins! The troll is simply a
Norwegian goblin. Generally, this creature could
accurately be described as a particularly ugly,
unscrupulously wicked gnome with a real chip on his
shoulder. Like the gnomes, they live below ground, but
they occasionally surface, particularly at night, to make
life a misery for those they have a grudge against.
They eat a lot and often, and their drinking habits would
give an alcoholic gnome a conscience. They have sex in
every shape and form with any living or dead creature,
but they particularly enjoy the rape of the young of all
other species, especially humans. Goblins invented the
gang-bang, and the particularly nauseating form of
capital punishment of raping to death. They are also
responsible for introducing sexually transmitted diseases
to the earth.
Death among the goblins is commonplace, but nauseating in
the extreme. Their burial rites centre on the cooking
pot, and not even the bones of the casseroled dead remain
- as in everything else with goblins, everything goes. In
fact, the very word goblin is closely related to the verb
'to gobble' from an original and very old French word
meaning virtually 'to eat like a starving pig'.
The moral of all this is: have nothing at all with fairy
folk, don't believe a single word you come across on the
faerie sites on the internet, and have another look at
those old Disney tapes in an entirely new light. Have
second thoughts about telling your kids the traditional
fairy stories or taking them to Santa's elfin grotto. The
banshee or the leprechaun are not in the least funny, and
think about it: when we talk about the Gnomes of Zurich
we may not be too far from the truth. Have a nice day!
And pleasant dreams!
***
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of
the hands of children. They should be outside playing
in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Kristen's collection - Directory 19