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K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N
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Archive name: Sex-Bio1.txt
Authors name: k y o u s h u
Story Title : My Sexual Autobiography (1 of 4)
........................................................
This is NOT pornography. This is a sexual autobiography.
Every detail is TRUE -- I promise -- but the names have
been changed. If you enjoy this sexual autobio and have
comments, questions, or a fantasy or story of your own
you want to share, you can contact me at:
kyoushuman@hotmail.com or visit my web page at
http://www.geocities.com/westhollywood/9878/
........................................................
My earliest sexual experiences (that I can
remember) were with the neighbor girls. I will call
them Pamela and Gina. Pamela had a pug nose and
freckles. She kept her sandy blond hair cut short, to
the length of her neck. Gina was taller and blonder,
plumper, and cuter. Pamela was a tomboy and the leader.
Gina was more of a "girly" girl, preferring dolls and
dresses to climbing trees and blue jeans, but none-
theless joined Pamela and I in our exploits. I was the
oldest at about seven, and Pamela and Gina were six. I
have a hard time remembering who initiated the sexual
contact, but I'm pretty sure that it was Pamela. She
liked telling nasty stories, making bathroom jokes and
giggling about body parts. Only a few specific events
come to mind, but I'll try to encapsulate the sum of
the experiences.
We enjoyed playing doctor and house like any
other kids, and of course we engaged in group mastur-
bation and mutual masturbation. We tried to engage in
sex several times, but my penis was too small, and I
suspect that their vaginas were probably also too
small. Mostly we played little dirty games while par-
tially or fully nude. I suppose that it would be viewed
as harmless experimentation and probably cute.
Our parents caught us a couple of times. Once my
mother found me and Pamela in the closet with our
clothes unbuttoned, but we weren't naked and nothing
had happened yet. Pamela's older sister caught us once,
too.
Pamela had moved further away from the city and
of course Gina and I went over to spend the night. One
night Pamela and I were both naked under the covers,
kissing each other and tickling each other, when her
sister (who was about 16 or 17) came in to the room. I
think she took one look at us and realized what we were
doing, then left the room. I don't know if she ever
reported us to our parents or not, but I'm sure she
knew what was going on.
When Pamela moved away, Gina and I had more time
to play with each other. We urinated and defecated in
front of each other, masturbated, kissed each other's
bodies, and took turns inserting objects into Gina's
vagina (pencils, fingers, a doll's arm, other small,
safe items). Gina was always very shy about it, but
never said no. She always blushed and looked away, but
for some reason agreed to the sexual games and came up
with her own ideas and suggestions. I played house with
her a lot.
Looking back, I understand that it was just
games and experimentation, because I remember being
more fascinated with looking at their bodies than
touching them. Sometimes we just sat across from each
other naked, looking at each other's genitals. I
thought their vaginas were weird, but beautiful and
nice to look at and touch. (Note: Right now I'm using
clinical terms like "urinate" and "vagina", but when I
get into the experiences that are more sexual than
experimental, I will be using bedroom language such as
"piss" and "cunt". I apologize in advance.)
My family moved away from that city, but we
visited the families of Pamela and Gina several times.
I remember one visit very clearly -- I was thirteen and
the two girls were twelve. All the families had re-
united on this big farm owned by a mutual friend, and
the three of us were fooling around in a barn. The two
girls took turns kissing me, and then I suggested that
they kiss each other. I think I wanted to see it be-
cause of an adult magazine that Pamela and I had found
at her dad's house a long time ago.
The magazine showed two women naked, kissing and
fondling each other. It turned Pamela and me on im-
mensely. So I asked them to kiss each other, and they
did. Then the three of us climbed up into the loft and
looked out the window at the cows and horses. Pamela
pointed out the enormous penises of the animals, and
that got us all started up again, so Pamela and Gina
took turns licking my penis. Then Pamela and I took
turns licking Gina's pussy, but Gina would not perform
oral sex on Pamela. I think Gina came. I didn't. This
was definitely a sexual experience... a source of many
fantasies for years to come.
After my family settled in the new city, I met
a boy who lived down the street. His name was Kyle, and
he was my age -- about eight. Our families had known
each other for years, and my mom insists that Kyle and
I had played together as infants and toddlers, but I do
not remember anything of the sort. Kyle and I entered
into a sexual relationship soon after we reacquainted
ourselves. I believe that he made the first overture.
One day after school we were quite bored. He had
the soundtrack to "Grease" and said we could play a
good game with it. He put the record on the song "Blue
Moon" and began to strip to the music. It was probably
very amateur and stupid, but I remember being very
excited by seeing Kyle's buttocks and penis. When he
was completely naked, it was my turn, but I was very
embarrassed. He sat on the bed and played with himself,
which really aroused me. I opened my pants and showed
him my erect cock as well.
He put the record on and I took off the rest of
my clothes, then laid down on the bed with him. He im-
mediately leaned over and took my little cock into his
mouth. He sucked on it like you'd suck a lollipop or a
popsicle -- there was no up and down motion, just a
gentle, wet suction. It felt very good and I did not
think that it was abnormal, or queer, or sick.
After a few minutes he asked me to do it to him
and I obliged. I really enjoyed the taste of his penis
in my mouth -- it was very warm and slightly salty. I
liked the feel of his scrotum pressing against my chin,
and I tried to put his cock and balls in my mouth all
at once, but I couldn't.
Every time we spent the night together we would
suck each other's cocks like this. We were pretty sel-
fish -- I wanted him to suck me for a long time, but I
didn't want to suck him that much, and he felt the same
way. Neither one of us thought about a 69 position to
maximize our pleasure.
This went on for a very long time -- about a
year. For some reason I always spent the night at his
house; he never spent the night at mine. About the time
we turned ten we both became concerned with girls, and
he declined to participate in cock-sucking as often as
we used to until finally we weren't doing it anymore.
We were no longer lovers, but we were very good friends
until my family moved again.
A few other things happened when I was this age.
I had started playing soccer and one day during prac-
tice I convinced a female teammate to show me her
pussy. We were standing at the far end of the field,
but we were both visible and it was a miracle that we
weren't caught. She pulled her shorts aside and I got
a very nice, long look at her little hairless slit.
I pulled my shorts aside and showed her my lit-
tle hairless dick, which she giggled at. Then we re-
adjusted our shorts and nothing else happened. My
family moved to another city when I was eleven. Our new
house was even nicer than our others, and farther out
in the suburbs. My younger brother John and I even got
separate rooms. There were a lot of kids in this neigh-
borhood who were my age or close, and that was a factor
for my parents' decision.
At this point I thought a lot about sucking Kyle
and masturbated to the image frequently. I met a boy in
fifth grade named Bryan who invited me over to spend
the night at his house. Somehow, we exposed ourselves
to each other, and began a series of oral and anal sex
sessions. Bryan was very passive -- he always wanted to
take my cock into his mouth and ass. He always invented
little games to play that would end up with us disrob-
ing and having sex. I never refused him because I
enjoyed it so much. Neither one of us had orgasms, but
the feelings were great. After fifth grade, I never saw
Bryan again.
Also in fifth grade I met a West Indian boy
named Kia, who I also spent the night with a couple of
times. He had a computer, which I thought was great, so
I spent most of the time writing BASIC programs with
him. When it came time to go to sleep, he always took
off all his clothes and slept naked. I slept in my
underwear. The first night, he asked me a series of
questions: "Do you ever fart?" "Does your thing get
hard?" "Do you spend the night with boys a lot?" "Do
you hold your thing when you pee?" For some reason, I
never responded to his overtures, but I listened to
him masturbate a couple of times. I guess he thought
I was asleep. I don't know why I didn't offer to join
in. Maybe it was some kind of subtle racism -- not
wanting to touch a boy with darker skin color. I had
spent the night with a black boy before in third grade,
but nothing had happened between us.
When I was in middle school, I was a misfit and
the kids there were entering into that junior macho
phase, where every other joke is either about some
girl's breasts or how some boy is a "faggot". Of course
I joined in with the insults because I didn't consider
myself gay. Nonetheless, I tried several times to se-
duce neighborhood boys, and succeeded. But I seduced
somebody else first -- my younger brother.
Sometimes I feel very guilty about it. A court
of law might convict me of abuse, and at times I worry
that I coerced my brother into doing things he didn't
want to. Most of the time, however, he was amenable,
and every now and then, but not often, he would
initiate the sex when I wasn't even thinking about it.
This is very difficult for me to write about because I
feel so ambiguously about it -on the one hand, inces-
tuous abuse is wrong, but was it really abuse? On the
other hand, I honestly think that it was mutual, and
that my brother didn't suffer from it. I do think that
in later years, the buried memory intensified our
sibling rivalry, but other than that I really don't
think there were any ill effects.
(But I invariably ask myself this question: What
pervert or sexual abuser DOESN'T think that any harm is
done?) Trust me, I am still wrestling with this memory.
I include it in this story for two reasons: to finally
get a chance to write about it and all its consequences
and to let other people learn from it. I know that some
people find the idea of two brothers having sex very
arousing, and that's OK, I suppose, as long as they
don't try it themselves. I no longer think of my bro-
ther in a sexual way, and I don't want to resume our
sexual relationship. I know that a lot of siblings
"play around" and "experiment", so I know that my bro-
ther and I aren't totally abnormal, but I still feel
weird about the whole thing.
I do not remember how it started. Brothers take
baths and showers together, so it probably started
there -- one of us suddenly got an erection and the
other touched it, and so on. At any rate, at first we
were both too embarrassed and ashamed to directly in-
itiate sex, so we would get to it indirectly. We'd play
strip poker, "accidentally" walk in on each other in
the bathroom, or sleep in the same bed and allow our
hands to wander. We sucked each other's cocks, 69'd,
and tried to have anal sex, but never succeeded. This
went on from when I was twelve and he was eight to when
I was about fifteen and he was eleven. After that it
ceased completely, probably because he was entering
into the same middle school environment I was at that
age, where everybody hated "fags".
Soon after we got used to our little games, we
began actually suggesting that we engage in sex play.
We'd be horsing around or something, and one of us
would get hard and want to fool around. Then we'd en-
gage in something we called "sex-wrestle," which was
basically doing whatever we had been doing except with
no clothes on. If we were playing at being ninjas, we'd
take our pants and shirts off, then continue playing.
If we were playing soldiers, wrestling, boxing, hide
and seek, or anything, we'd just keeping playing with
no clothes on. Of course, the game ended up in sex once
we got naked, it was just a matter of time. Asking to
play "sex-wrestle" was a little less direct than ac-
tually asking for oral sex, but still it was an acknow-
ledgement of our secret sexual encounters.
I only remember two times when I actually ejac-
ulated. Once was when he was masturbating me, once was
when he was sucking me. I remember very clearly the
time that I came in his mouth. He swallowed the first
spurt, then allowed the rest to spray into his hands,
which he then licked up. Afterwards we washed up sep-
arately and didn't mention the incident. I don't think
he ever ejaculated during the three years we had this
off and on weirdness.
When I was about thirteen, my brother actually
helped me seduce another boy my age. We were at the
boy's house and we were all listening to music. In one
song, there were percussion downbeats that sounded
exactly like farts, and we all thought that was hil-
arious. We must have rewound that song a dozen times or
more and giggled at the "pfffft, pfffft" sounds.
About the fourth time we were listening to it I
got up and locked the door. I played the song and every
time the fartlike noise happened, I pulled my pants
down and exposed my ass, thrusting it out as if I was
farting. Both the boy, Mark, and my brother thought
that was very funny.
My brother joined me and we were both dancing
along to the song with our pants around our knees,
making ridiculous faces and laughing. We had erections,
but nobody said anything about them. We knew that if we
got caught we'd get in trouble, but we also thought it
was a lot of fun. Mark joined in soon and pulled his
pants all the way off, dancing with us. All three of us
started doing a three-person "bump", knocking our hips
together to the beat of the song. This led to us
actually rubbing our asses together. Mark had a hard-on
too. Then we were standing in a small circle, all three
of us touching each other's cocks. My brother and I
took off our pants all the way and told Mark to sit on
the bed. He did, stroking his penis. My brother and I
knelt and took turns licking and sucking Mark's cock.
This went on for about fifteen minutes and then we
stopped, afraid of getting caught. Besides, Mark had
refused to suck or touch my penis or my brother's.
Within a month, Mark spent the night at our
house. The three of us played strip poker and were soon
naked. Then we decided to play for sexual favors. We
had had hot erections, but hid them under blankets. I
won the first favor and told Mark he had to let me
touch his penis. I jerked him off for a few minutes and
then we played another hand. My brother won and asked
me to suck him. I knelt between his spread legs and
sucked his small cock for a while. We all abandoned the
pretense of playing cards and got on the couch
together. I sucked Mark's cock, Mark sucked my bro-
ther's cock (he didn't want to put it in his mouth),
and my brother sucked my cock. Then we decided to do
it all at once: I laid down on the couch and Mark got
between my legs to suck my cock. My brother sat on my
chest and stuck his little boy cock in my face so I
could suck it. We did this and variations on this until
we were exhausted and blue-balled, since none of us
had an orgasm. After this incident, nothing happened
between Mark and me.
There was one neighborhood boy who I seduced.
His name was Simon. Again, I was about twelve or thir-
teen. We had constructed an elaborate obstacle course
late one afternoon. The final goal was to jump in a
small wading pool.
Simon was much more athletic than me so I usu-
ally lost. As it got darker, I had an idea -- I would
cut through the course halfway and wait in the pool to
make it seem like I had already gone through. It was
more of a humorous distraction, since I knew he
wouldn't fall for it. I was just tired of losing. So
halfway through the course I abruptly turned and jumped
into the pool. He stopped, puzzled, and asked me what
I was doing.
I splashed water at him and said, "I won!" We
started over on the course, and I did the same thing,
except this time I pulled my pants down to my knees
and exposed my ass to him. He laughed. I did that two
or three more times, and then he beat me to it. He
jumped in the pool and took his shorts all the way off.
I jumped in after him and took my shorts off. We began
to fondle each other's asses and then our erect cocks.
I realized that we couldn't do anything more in public,
so I told him to meet me at my house in ten minutes. We
put our shorts on and he went home. I went to my house
and undressed, then put on a bathrobe. He was at the
door in minutes in dry clothes. I let him in and took
him to my bedroom. My mother and brother were watching
TV down the hall, and my father was downstairs watching
another TV. Nobody had a clue. We went into the bedroom
and I told him to take his clothes off. Then I gave him
a bathrobe to wear, too.
At the time, I had some kind of fantasy about
two boys dressed in bathrobes having sex, so I really
wanted us both to be dressed in bathrobes. I don't know
why.
He laid down on the bed and I immediately began
to suck his small cock. It was very small for someone
of his age and size, I remember that distinctly. I
showed him my cock and we began to 69. He had never
done this before -- he was scraping with his teeth, and
it hurt. So I just sucked him, and I licked his ass. He
loved it but soon got uncomfortable and wanted to go
home. I let him go. I tried for about a month after
that to get him to do it again, but he never would. He
was Catholic -- maybe he confessed the act and felt
really guilty about it.
I think this was the most sexually active time
of my life, as far as boy-boy sex goes. There was one
incident with a female, however -- my aunt. I don't
feel any guilt over this potentially incestuous sit-
uation, though, because the circumstances were
different. It only happened once, and it was very
ambiguous.
My aunt had come from out of town to spend a
weekend with us. She was my father's sister, but you
never would have known it to look at or listen to them,
he was tall and fat, she was short and skinny; he was a
Republican asshole, she was a Democrat bleeding-heart.
One of my father's favorite pastimes was to rent X-
rated movies and get drunk as he watched them, then
fall asleep in his La-Z-Boy, sometimes while the movies
were still running on the VCR. I watched these movies
many times, which was probably not very good for me,
but more on that later.
On Sunday night, my father conked out in front
of the VCR again. By now I had gotten into a routine
and would wait until he was no longer conscious (about
eleven p.m. or midnight) and then I would sneak down
and watch the movies. Sometimes I would masturbate as
I was watching them with my sleeping father right next
to me. I was ready to go downstairs this Sunday night,
but waited until about twelve-thirty a.m. to actually
head for the stairs. When I got there, my aunt was
already standing halfway down the steps, leaning over
the banister, watching the X-rated movie. I could hear
my father snoring loudly. My guess is that she heard
him snoring and went to awaken him and send him to bed,
but got distracted by the sex on the TV.
The most significant detail of this scene is
that my aunt is wearing nothing but a t-shirt. Because
she is bent over the banister watching the movie, I can
see the small of her back, her ass, her inner thighs
and even a bit of pubic hair. Instantly, my cock was
erect. I must have watched her watching the movie for
about five minutes, then I hurried off to bed to
masturbate. Soon after I began jacking off, I heard my
aunt walk down the hall and go into the guest bedroom.
A plan formed in my mind. I waited for about forty-five
minutes, then crept into her bedroom. My thoughts alone
had kept my penis rock-hard.
I was naked, crawling across the guest bedroom
so the floorboards wouldn't creak. Finally I reached
her bed and listened. She was asleep, curled up under
the covers. I slipped my hand into the bedsheets and
explored a little until I touched her ass. I rubbed my
hand over her ass and stroked her pubic hair and pussy
with my right hand while I was furiously masturbating
with my left. Every time she moaned, twitched or moved
I would pull my hand out from under the covers and duck
under the bed, only to slowly come out a few seconds
later and reach under the sheets again to fondle her
ass. After about thirty minutes of this, I ejaculated
all over my chest and stomach, then retreated very
quietly to my bedroom. I wiped up my semen with my hand
and then licked it off my hand, fantasizing about what
might have happened if my aunt had awakened and enjoyed
the feelings I was giving her. Maybe she would have
invited me into her bed? More likely, she would have
told me softly but firmly to go to my own bedroom. I
guess I'll never know.
From thirteen to fifteen, I rarely had sex with
any boys or girls. I was continuing to experiment with
my brother, but it was so sporadic and rare that I was
still quite lustful. Two things happened when I entered
high school that figured significantly in my sexual
life: I met Jerry and my family got a big dog.
(to be continued in part two)