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K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N
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Archive name: 3som.txt (M+/F+, swingers)
Authors name: Joan (jjj3313260@aol.com)
Story title : Joys of Threesome Sex
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-= This work is copyrighted to the author © 2000. =-
Please do not remove the author information or make
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The Special Joys of Threesome Sex
Tips for Men Who Want To Get Started
By Joan (jjj3313260@aol.com)
The following information has been prepared for men who
wish to consider adding MFM sexual pleasures to their
sensual life. It is the basic premise of this piece
that the reader has already decided to open himself to
the pursuit of threesome adventures. I sincerely hope
these thoughts will benefit you as you plan ways of
bringing about one or more FMF or MFM threesome
experiences for your pleasure... and for the pleasure
of the woman in your life.
By the way, it is not my desire to "win converts" to my
chosen lifestyle. Rather, it is my hope that readers
will open their minds and relationships to the special
pleasures and possibilities that threesomes provide.
First... I suggest that you let your primary female
partner know that you are open to... or wish to
pursue... the addition of one or more people to your
shared "recreational sex" experiences. Start having
conversations about the distinction between sex for
love... sex for recreation... and sex for procreation.
Let her see X-rated videos or read books or magazines
which spotlight the pleasures of multiple-partner
recreational sex.
I know that initially... that could send shock waves
through some wives or girl friends. But, be open and
honest with your feelings. Let her know the kind of
fantasies that stimulate you (her and another gal
focusing on your pleasure, another guy and you focusing
on her pleasure, you giving simultaneous pleasure to
her and another gal, you alone with another gal, her
alone with another guy, you and her with more than one
other person, etc.).
Chances are she will not quickly jump at the idea of
inviting others into your sex life. Most women equate
great sexual fulfillment and the warmth of sexual
sharing with emotions akin to love. That is why MOST
women never allow themselves to enjoy more than one man
at a time... and miss out on the wonderful expansive
possibilities of enhanced, multiplied pleasures. Most
women who do allow themselves to try a few threesomes
find that their sex lives are greatly improved... and
that their personal levels of sexual fulfillment is
GREATLY elevated!
I went through those typical female emotions in the
early years of my sexual development... and
particularly in the earliest experiences of enjoying
more than one male partner during the same time period
(even when it was not involving group sex). You men
seem less likely to experience those sex=love feelings.
Percentage wise, more men than women tend to be able to
enjoy sex for itself... and keep the pleasure of those
experiences separate from their emotional
relationships.
This article assumes that you have a wife or woman in
your life. Naturally, you could choose to go outside
your primary relationship to experience MFM, FMF, or
group pleasures. Frankly, many of the men who I have
enjoyed along with my two guys have been married guys
who were enjoying threesome sex even though the primary
woman in their life was not willing to get involved in
threesomes. However, until later in this piece, I am
focusing on efforts you can make to keep your sexual
pleasures something you SHARE with your spouse or girl
friend.
You and your main lady may have never even discussed
opening your sex life to the inclusion of others.
Probably, it will be you who initiates the idea. In
that case, you need to open her mind to such ideas
GENTLY! Share in watching X-rated movies, which
include scenes, which reflect what is on your mind.
Share in reading Forum or other magazines which feature
stories, which reflect what is on your mind. When you
see such films or read such stories, let her know that
they turn you on... watch to see her reactions.
Ask her what she thinks of such "recreational sex"
experiences. Ask her if she would like to experience
the feeling of another guy's cock inside her while you
cuddle, kiss and caress her. While you are in the heat
of passion, ask her how she would like to feel another
guy tonguing and kissing her clit and pussy while you
hold and kiss her. When she is nearing her orgasm, ask
her how she would like to have both of her breasts
sucked simultaneously... one by you, and one by another
guy.
Be patient. Let these thoughts soak in over as along a
period of time as is needed. The rest of this article
assumes you have successfully persuaded her to "try" a
threesome or some couple-swap situation, etc. This is
when you need to show her your highest level of love
and affection. Try to extract a promise that "try"
means at least a few such experiences... just in case
the first one or two are less than satisfactory.
Once you have gained her agreement to try such extra-
partner-sex situations... you need to watch her
responses in the days ahead. Is she really
enthusiastic about the new possibilities ahead... or
is she now reflecting some second thoughts or potential
jealousy... or fear of jealousy by you.
You may want to talk further about how you will both
deal with any potential jealousy that may surface
further down the line. You may also wish to make it
clear how each of you will communicate with the other
about limitations either of you want to impose on your
expanded sex life as things develop.
Second... you will want to ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND that the
anticipated new experiences you are about to have
should be SHARED experiences... shared between you and
your wife, or you and the primary woman in your life.
Early on, you will want to determine which of you will
identify the potential additional person or people you
will invite into your sex life. Will SHE bring the
extra person or people into your shared bed... or will
YOU be the one to identify that person and create the
setting to bring that person into your shared sex life.
Maybe you will want to SHARE in creating a "prospect
list" or in determining a method of identifying a
prospective extra person (or persons)... or
characteristics desired in that extra person (tall,
short, younger, older, married, single, certain
physical characteristics, local, non-local, friend,
stranger, etc.). Or, she may ask you who you think you
would enjoy inviting to join in your expanded sex life.
You may even want to start with some couple-couple
action first, so you can both gain a higher level of
comfort in the earliest experiences... and so you can
make some initial contacts with others who have opened
their sex lives.
From my experience as a woman, a large part of the fun
of MFM and FMF threesomes is the anticipation... the
planning... the fantasizing about it in advance with
your primary partner. I know women who have not
actually experienced their first threesome until LONG
after having decided that they would do it... enjoying
with their mates the prolonged anticipation and
knowledge that "one day" it would actually happen.
However, remember that you can fantasize too much.
Either or both of you can build expectations too high.
Sometimes it is necessary to postpone that actual first
experience due to need for privacy, discretion and
anonymity. It may require that you place ads or
follow-up ads... or that you travel to another city.
It may require the acquisition of a discrete PO box or
private voice mail subscription. It may require the
both of you... or you or her alone... doing some
initial "interviews," to enhance your shared "comfort
level" with a prospective new guy or gal.
Even if you choose someone who is a close friend of one
or both of you, it may take some time setting up the
right situation (a shared date, a special dinner, an
over-night stay together someplace, etc.) where things
can warm up properly.
Third... think about whether you seek ONE-TIME,
TEMPORARY or LONG-TERM additional partners? I know
that the permanent three-way partnership that my two
guys and I live in is rather unique. Few others will
even want to establish a long-term three-way
relationship. Two-way "primary" partnerships with an
occasional third person joining in just for the fun of
it... that is the more typical threesome scene.
However, I know a number of couples who have opened
themselves to an extra guy or gal in their sex life
ONLY on the premise that the extra person is also a
friend or relative of one or both of them. I know
women who have invited their sisters or college
roommates into on-going threesome pleasures with their
husbands or boyfriends... and women who have welcomed
on-going threesome relationships when the extra guy was
a friend or brother of their husband or primary male
friend. Some couples have restricted their threesome
ventures to one, two or three such friends or
relatives... and would not consider inviting a
"stranger" into their bed.
When a close friend or relative is chosen... and it
works out... such relationships can often continue for
years. As a matter of fact, they usually continue
indefinitely, unless one of the parties proves to be a
jerk, or unless circumstances change for one or more of
the parties.
Other times, women absolutely refuse to consider
inviting into their beds
anyone who either she or her guy know or are related
to. Everyone is different. Everyone has different
circumstances. When a stranger is chosen, it can be a
"one-night affair," or it could turn into an oft-
repeated pleasure for all. Sometimes couples start by
intending things to be temporary or one-time events...
only to find that they have developed a new kind of
friendship that they all wish to periodically repeat
over a long-term period.
GETTING STARTED
===============
Once a couple has decided to open themselves to the
addition of one or more occasional "playmates," there
are a couple of basic things that must happen.
1. I have mentioned it above, but you MUST deal with
"the jealousy factor" before it comes up. If either
party believes they would be jealous if they saw the
other having sex with someone else... get it out in
the open immediately. In this event, you will both
want to establish a pact that (a) you will be totally
open with each other along the way, (b) you will
only have sex with another partner while the
potentially-jealous partner is present (or only after
the potentially-jealous partner knows and agrees),
and c UNTIL YOU MUTUALLY DECIDE OTHERWISE, the extra
guy will be for the purpose of joining you in
focusing doubled-attention on the wife... or, the
extra gal will ONLY be for the purpose of joining the
wife in focusing doubled-attention on the husband...
and the person receiving the doubled-attention will
focus their attention PRIMARILY on their spouse.
Example, while the extra guy is nibbling on her pussy
or filling it with his cock, her husband is cuddling
with her and necking with her while she talks with
him, telling him what it feels like to be in his arms
while another guy is stroking in and out of her...
etc.
2. Remember to jointly decide on any LIMITATIONS you
mutually agree to impose on your proposed threesome.
For example, she insists that the other guy wear a
condom... or NOT enter her anally. Or, he insists
that the other guy NOT come in her pussy or mouth.
Or, you mutually decide that extra partners NOT be
given your real names and NOT be invited to your
home. Maybe you won't have any such limitations, but
if either partner has strong feelings on any of these
subjects, set the RULES up front... so you can share
them (as it may be appropriate) with the third
person.
3. Decide on THE WAY TO MEET a third person to join you
in a threesome. By now you have probably agreed that
you want to focus on inviting a friend or
acquaintance to join you... or you may have decided
that you DO NOT WANT to involve someone you already
know.
In that case, you may want to (a) attend a Swing
Party for the purpose of meeting prospective
threesome friends, or (b) patronize an Adult Store or
Adult Movie House for the purpose of making potential
contacts (this works... often couples are able to
make eye contact with a guy [less often with a gal]
or a couple in an Adult Bookstore or XXX Movie
Theater, motion them to the door of the Bookstore or
to their seat within the theater and openly let their
wishes be known... without fear of rejection... and
often with successful results), or c patronize a
Topless Bar (this also works... and can be a way to
meet that extra gal), or (D) follow-up ads or place
ads in local or national contact publications.
This last one is a very good way to meet people, but
you probably will need to have a PO box and/or an
anonymous voice mail service (attached to a pager is
even better). This will allow one or both of you to
meet the prospective third person and get to know
them while remaining anonymous.
Lets say hubby is meeting a prospective guy. The
meeting could be at a bar or lounge. Wife could go
in first, and sit at another table... so she can
watch while hubby "interviews" the prospective guy.
They can have a pre-arranged signal (like wife
dropping her hankie on the floor) as a signal that
"he looks good," or "No Way." Then the wife can join
them or not... as she wishes. Or, he can excuse
himself to the rest room so he can meet her in the
back alone before she joins them... or before he
says, "We'll call you."
BE AWARE... if the guy or gal has never been involved
in a threesome before, you probably DON'T want to
select him/her as one of your first extras.
4. Have a plan as to WHERE you would prefer meeting this
third person for your first encounter. At your
place? Generally not a good idea. Motels are good.
Motels that offer hot tubs are even better (as a way
to cut the ice). Adult motels are often the best.
If the third person is a gal, you can probably be a
bit more flexible in where you first meet.
Now that you have the basic decisions out of the way,
5. Plan your wearing apparel to fit the occasion. If
you will be meeting at a beach, pool or hot tub...
you should both consider some minimal, sexy swim
wear. If you will be meeting at a bar, she should
dress as sexy as possible (short skirt, semi-
revealing blouse with no bra, etc.) and if you are
meeting a gal, you should dress sharp... look
handsome. If you will be going to an X-rated movie
in the hopes of meeting a guy, she should wear a
loose, easy-opening blouse with no bra, and a very
full skirt with no panties... so that within the dark
of the theatre she can choose to retain a discrete
appearance, or allow you or ??? access to her breasts
and crotch as the situation unfolds.
6. Make plans to DO IT SOON! Remember, you can
fantasize too much. Either or both of you can build
expectations too high. Remember also that the sex
you have between the two of you IS LIKELY to be
better than sex with THE FIRST FEW extra people...
just because you know each other better, and there is
less chance of anxiety getting in the way. You may
get a guy who "gets off" and wants to leave...
without really GIVING pleasure to your wife. That
can be the pits! Or, you may get a gal who "freezes
up" just as the fun begins. It may take a few
threesome experiences before you locate extra
partners who truly melt into your shared lovemaking
wishes.
7. Assuming the threesome went EVEN MODERATELY WELL...
you should both genuinely thank the third person, and
embrace them before they leave. You may want to try
it again with this person. They should leave with a
feeling of "warm fuzzies."
8. Finally, after each threesome experience, the two of
you MUST spend some time re-living the experience
with each other... what it felt like... how you would
each like it to be different or similar next time...
how you each appreciate and love the other for
helping to make the threesome possible. Be sure to
give your wife or girl friend extra tender loving
after your threesome experiences. You might even
want to EACH write down your thoughts on each of
those early threesome experiences and share them with
someone (like me), just so you can express yourself
fully... and so you can remember later how those
initial experiences went.
SOME IDEAS FOR GETTING THE ACTION GOING:
========================================
When you have identified a prospective third party and
the situation allows, let the opposite sex dance with
that third party... invite them to join you for a dip
in a hot tub someplace... invite them to join you in
providing a full body massage to one of the three of
you... challenge them to a game of "Truth or Dare"
(see my story #J3-105).
If your chosen "prospect" is a friend or relative,
consider creating a setting at your home, motel, beach
resort or a ski lodge where you all have minimal
clothes... or where you can all recline on a blanket in
front of a roaring fire. Then one of you can start
massaging the other... while inviting the third person
to assist.
Truth or Dare allows for lots of ways to "break the
ice." Certain "Dares" can lead to the removal of
clothes... or intimate kisses... or blindfolded
caresses... or performing certain requested sexual
acts. Requests for "Truth" can open the way for asking
intimate questions about sexual preferences, past
sexual experiences, and determining the other person's
wishes for exploring sex together NOW.
When the extra person is a guy, you can always note how
your wife or girl friend really loves to receive a
massage... particularly a fourhanded, full-body
massage. Seldom will the extra guy turn down that
offer. Naturally, if oil is involved, everyone will
have to shed their clothes so they don't get oil on
their clothes.
When the extra person is a gal, the wife can always
comment that you love to have your back rubbed. She
might start rubbing your back through your shirt, and
eventually ask the other lady to join her. Then she
could break away to get some oil while the extra lady
continues... and return to request that you remove your
shirt and pants so they don't get oil on your clothes.
It can start out non-sexual, and then as things warm
up, your lady can run her oil-covered hand under your
shorts while commenting that "this area seems to need
attention too." If the other lady is turned-on by this
point, she will join in.
NEED MORE IDEAS?
================
I have a series of stories in my computer... gathered
over a period of years... which contains stories by
and about men, women and couples who have allowed
themselves to enjoy the of experience of additional sex
partners... within the context of existing "primary"
relationships... mostly for the purpose of mutual
recreation and enhanced levels of sexual fulfillment.
Some of the stories were written by me (Joan), several
of the others were written by men and women who have
written to me to share their TRUE personal experiences.
Some are stories (real or fiction???) that I have found
along the way, which I believe demonstrate the many
variations possible when men and women open themselves
up to the pleasures that are possible when they add one
or more new people to their sex life.
These stories can be useful to demonstrate "how-to"
stuff to people new to threesomes. They allow folks
who are new to threesome pleasures to try those things
which the reader finds will fit into their "comfort
zone." Some readers will consider portions of these
stories excessively "raw." While other readers will
find those same passages erotic and stimulating.
If you would like to receive a current list of my
stories, simply request it by E-Mailing me at
JJJ3313260@AOL.COM. Then, if you will simply drop me
an E-Mail note with some information about yourselves
and your level of experience or kind of fantasies...
and request a specific story or two, I will E-Mail them
back to you.
IF YOU ARE A GUY ON YOUR OWN...
===============================
Some men, married and single, simply cannot get a woman
to join them in the pursuit of multiple-partner sex.
Often those men still wish to explore such pleasures on
their own. If that is your situation, the following
suggestions may be helpful.
1. Get yourself a discrete PO box and a private voice
mail service... preferably with an attached paging
service. These three services will enable you be
"reachable."
2. Pick a name (other than your real one) that you will
consistently use. I know, everyone wants you to be
open with them... but you can choose to use your real
identity later... if and when you are comfortable
that you are not dealing with kooks.
3. Place some ads in local, regional or national
publications. Be straightforward. If you wish to be
the "extra guy" for threesomes with couples.... say
so! If you and another male friend wish to offer
threesome experiences to women... say so! If you
have some additional incentive to offer (like a full-
body four-handed massage), offer it! Be sure to
include your voice mail phone number (if possible)
for replies. Reply levels to PO boxes are lower...
but they enable written communication and the mailing
of pictures (if you or the lady wish to send them).
4. When you get replies... comply with the requests of
the couple or lady as much as you can. If you don't
want your picture out there... have a good reason why
you do not exchange photos. This is when your E-Mail
or voice mail comes in handy... for quick replies
from couples or ladies... when they are in the mood.
5. Suggest a meeting at a neutral place (a bar,
restaurant, etc.) where you can get to know each
other (whether it is a lady alone who is replying,
the male half of a couple, or a couple). Then, be
there slightly ahead of schedule... dressed
handsomely and cleanly. Be sensitive as to what they
want to tell you on this first meeting... not digging
for information that they do not want to give at this
point. Let this be a fun, friendly experience as you
get to know each other. Don't push forward too
quickly. But, when it is clear that the lady or
couple wants to do something... be prepared to go
RIGHT THEN if that is what they want. Have condoms,
massage oils, etc. in your car... just in case you
will want them, and in case you end up "going for it"
right then.
6. When you do get together, remember, as the extra guy,
you should suggest that you cover the costs of the
motel, etc. Be an absolute gentleman! If you are
alone with a lady, make sure you give her every
reason to feel comfortable and safe. Start by
necking... instead of a quick tear-off of her
clothing. If you are with a couple, let the other
guy lead the way on what happens, and how quickly.
7. Other than the ads you place, you can also respond to
the ads of couples... you can visit adult book
stores and make eye contact with any couples which
may come in while you are there... you can visit X-
rated movie houses and sit as far back as you can.
In this case, watch for couples who may come in.
Make eye contact if you can. When the situation
seems right, be GENTLY AGRESSIVE... move over near
them and start a conversation.
Believe me, even single guys can enjoy multiple-partner
sex... if they make things work for themselves. The
means of discrete communication (PO box, voice mail,
pager, etc.) are essential if you want to make new
contacts. Then, when you have made your contacts, you
MUST be a gentleman... and you MUST focus on GIVING
pleasure to the lady involved. That will enhance the
probability that you will be invited to join her (them)
again. I can't stress that last part enough. YOU MUST
BE THE SOURCE OF ELEVATED LEVELS OF EXTRA PLEASURE FOR
HER...BEFORE you allow yourself to be satisfied.
BE A GIVER! If you do, you'll get your rewards.
Good luck!
Love,
Joan in Colorado
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Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of
the hands of children. They should be outside playing
in the sun, not thinking about adult situations.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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