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Please Don't Be Nervous (MF, rom)
Sinope RN (sinopern@aol.com)
1998

To R, at your request I have posted it.

The room was silent except for the occasional intrusion of outside 
noise, a car cruising, a dog barking or voices raised in laughter as 
they passed by. I reached for the music and turned on my favorite 
instrumental. It's haunting quality and occasional crescendos mirrored 
my mood. 

I found the center of my bed easily. Lying there, thoughts of you 
returned. We had just talked a few hours ago. I felt helpless in our 
worlds apart from each other, connected only thru writing. I wrapped my 
arms around myself imagining them as your arms. My need was palpable. My 
body cried out for you. Your touch. I whispered your name over and over 
hoping you would in some way hear me. I wanted you to know that my 
desires were pent up in reflections of you.

My heart began to ache for the nearness of you.. For just one moment in 
time to share with you to be yours unconditionally, for you to be mine 
as such. To have time alone to explore one another till we were totally 
satiated. 

"Come to me," escaped from me and in that moment I felt the rush over 
me, touched by a gentle breeze, you were there. Your breath close to my 
face, your hands touching my arms gliding down each of them. The 
sensations of reality mixed with the want of fantasy. With my eyes 
closed you had come to me in the form of my own hands. You guided them. 

The hands reached to my face, tracing along my eyes down the sides of my 
cheeks, across my lips then further to my neck. Down to my chest and 
reaching to each breast. My nipples began to tenderly ache as fingers 
grazed over them, teasing each to a hardened core. Palm to center, 
squeezing and releasing. Then finding between thumb and forefinger and 
slightly pinching. Electric volts shot thru me.... spiraling down to the 
center of my being.

Inching past each orb to the sensitive skin directly beneath caressing, 
while still allowing the backs of hands to slightly tease the tightened 
nubs. Traveling downwards across the soft skin of belly and circling the 
naval. Ever moving till reaching the boundaries surrounded by the soft 
curls. Probing hands that reached to thighs and gently spread them open. 
Then sliding back to the triangle that lay exposed.

Knowing fingers delved into the recesses of womanhood. Finding fire that 
survived amongst moisture. Dipping deep inside, exploring the haven. 
Delighting in being surrounded by satin flesh... Then pulling out, wet 
and finding the nucleus of all desire. Massaging till thought is lost, 
moaning echoes about the room. Hands that bring me to the edge of wanton 
need.

My body arches to those fingers. Craving more. Screaming for more, to be 
teased, titillated, to be ravaged. Hips undulate towards the source of 
wizardry. All the sensations of tangent want as one hand remains and the 
other returns to a breast. Continuing the onslaught. Each nerve ending 
cries out. ..touch me...feel me.

I begin to beg, "Release me... release me." 

The hands know and move faster and faster. Clenching and squeezing and 
massaging and caressing and pulling and rubbing till I reach that height 
and tumble over it willingly. My body tenses seconds before absolution. 
Powerful convulsions envelope me. Trembling, I open my eyes to find only 
my hands but know that in that brief time it was you. 

Please don't be nervous...