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o The Bookshelf Directories offer a very wide variety o
o of stories. They have been submitted by people from o
o all over the world. Also from alt.sex.stories (News o
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Always With Me 2
by Secret DC Guy (secretdcguy@hotmail.com)
***
Brian meets the girl from next door, and learns that
unfortunately they have something in common. There is no
sex, but Brian knows there is something different about
her. After playing together the day a direction is set
when she asks him to sleep with his lights on and his
blinds open. (bg, youths, no-sex, rom)
***
Chapter 2: A Knock at My Heart
Although I had fallen asleep late the night before, I
awoke early on Sunday for no reason. Though technically
Methodist, my family wasn't particularly religious, so
we rarely went to church. As far I as knew, we didn't
have any plans. But here I was lying awake as the first
rays of the sun shone through my window.
It was before 6 AM, so I knew my parents wouldn't be
awake. I also knew that the loose floorboards on the
steps would prevent me from going downstairs, as the
noise would definitely wake my parents. Don't get me
wrong, they wouldn't be mad at me. They would just get
up to supervise, then be grumpy for the rest of the day.
Adults need sleep as much as kids do. About the only
place I could go to without waking anyone was the
bathroom. So I slid out of bed to head for the door.
However, the way I got out of bed directed my vision
towards the new girl's window. I don't know if she
always did it, but she slept with the blinds open. That
brought a smile to my face because I did the same thing.
For some reason having the blinds closed at night made
my room feel too dark, too closed off from the rest of
the world. I wasn't sure if she kept hers open for the
same reason, but I decided to believe it was, at least
until I found out otherwise.
No matter the reason, though, my heart began to flutter
again. I figured the new girl wouldn't be naked, but I
still wanted to see her angelic face framed by
strawberry blonde hair. However, the call of Mother
Nature was too strong, so I quickly made my way to the
bathroom.
When I got back to my room, I immediately went to the
window. I was fully prepared for her room to be too dark
to see into. Where my room faced the north giving me
morning sun in the summer, hers faced south. So with no
sunlight shining into her room, I figured it would be
too dark to see anything. However, I was surprised to
see her bedside light on. It was dim, but I could make
out a number of things in her room.
First, her bed sheets were kicked off and she slept in
the shorts and t-shirt pajamas that I had seen her take
out of the drawer last night. In addition, I saw a large
stuffed dog next to her pillow. Finally, I saw that her
face wasn't so angelic in the morning. While she still
looked beautiful, her hair stuck out all over the place.
It even looked as if she might be drooling a little. She
was much more human than she had appeared the night
before.
For some reason that made me want to be near her even
more. Angels are something that you can't see or feel.
Some people say they don't exist. This girl, on the
other hand, was real. She was there for me to meet and
be friends with. You can't play with an angel, but I
could play with her. It's just that I wanted more from
her than just a playmate. I couldn't figure out what I
wanted, but I knew it was more.
I sat in the window until she rolled facing away from
me. It was only about seven by now, but I couldn't think
of anything else to do, so I left my room and started
down the stairs. I may sure to step very hard on the
loose floorboard. Just as I planned, my parents began to
stir.
***
The night before I wasn't sure what 'the talk' was, but
considering my parents made bacon, sausage, eggs,
pancakes, and waffles for breakfast I knew it was a big
deal. In our house, food served many purposes. Besides
just eating, we used it to celebrate, to mourn, or to
prepare for something important.
It seemed as if every big announcement came after a big
dinner. However, while we were eating, my parents didn't
push the point. Instead, they talked about what I might
want to do over the summer. They suggested going to the
beach or maybe Hershey Park, and seemed to leave the
decision up to me.
The amazing things was that I didn't want to go
anywhere, at least not until I met the little girl. I
mean, I was a normal kid. I loved the beach, and
amusement parks even more. But it almost seemed sad to
go somewhere without her. Without really thinking, I
said to my mom, "Maybe the new girl could come too?"
For a moment the room was silent. Then almost in unison,
my father and mother took deep breaths. It seemed as if
they had worked themselves up to this conversation, but
had still hoped beyond hope that they would not have to
have it today. Perhaps they thought I would forget about
the girl, or maybe if they ignored her, she would go
away. Unfortunately for them, I had forced their hand.
We were going to have 'the talk'.
My mother started, "Brian, when you're older, your body
is going to go through changes. When that happens,
things might get confusing. Your body is going to want
to do one thing, and your brain is going to tell you to
do another. What you're going to have to do is to listen
to that little voice inside of you, to tell you what's
right."
I wish I could say I was uncomfortable, but in reality,
I was just confused. I had no idea how my body changing
had anything to do with this girl.
My father glanced at mother seeming to say 'I told you
so'. He picked up the conversation in a way he thought I
might better understand. "OK kid, here's what's what.
You're too young to do it right now, but that little
wee-wee of yours isn't just for peeing. When you get
older your body is going to start wanting to make
babies. You use your wee-wee for that too. But for that
to work, a girl has to make it feel good, like a tickle
but a good tickle. You have to make the girl feel good
too, of course. Thing is, your body just isn't old
enough to do that right now."
While I was confused about my feelings at the beginning
of the conversation, I was even more so now. I thought
that the tickle my dad was talking about might be the
one I felt last night. Did that mean I was ready to make
a baby with the girl? But I first felt it when I thought
she was a boy. But two boys can't make a baby.
So why did my body want to make a baby with another boy?
But I had noticed that from behind she didn't look like
other boys and I saw the flower pajamas too. Deep down,
did I really know she was a girl? Did my body know she
was a girl even thought my brain didn't? Then should I
really trust my brain? I was so confused, I felt like
crying.
My mother gave my father a stern look. It was obvious
that she didn't like his approach to 'the talk'. She
continued, "Brian, if things weren't complicated enough,
you had what Julia did to you. I don't think she meant
to hurt you, but she was thinking with her body and not
her brain. She's old enough to have a baby, and her body
told her so. But rather than trying to find somebody she
loved to do things with, she decided to do what she did
to you."
I wanted to bring up the fact that Julia said she loved
me, but I thought that might things worse.
My mother continued, "Now we're not saying that Julia
should have gone and made a baby or that you should
start making them when you start feeling that you want
to. You really need to wait until you're a grown up for
that. When you get older, we'll talk about how to
prevent it."
Honestly, I really didn't care about how to make babies,
or if Julia wanted to make one. In the past day, she had
begun to fade from my thoughts, replaced by the girl
with the angelic smile. What I needed to know is why I
couldn't stop thinking about her. Finally, I asked,
"Mom, dad, I don't care about Julia. I want to know why
I want to kiss the new girl. When I saw her this
morning, I even wanted to crawl in bed with her..."
"There will be no looking in other people's windows," my
mother snapped.
"Mary, I'm sure he didn't mean to," my father sternly
responded to her scolding. "The boy is confused about
how he feels." Turning to me he continued, "Kid, here's
the deal. Have you ever heard of 'a crush'?"
"Yes..." I wanted to say more by was cut off.
"Good, so you'll know what I'm talking about." My dad
smiled, almost looking proud. "You have a crush on this
girl. It happens—usually when you least expect it. Now,
it's probably got something to do with Julia —like it or
not. She probably made you feel really special when she
was doing stuff to you. That's the way people like her
work. And then she's gone. So the first girl who gives
you real attention disappears. It's natural to turn your
thoughts to someone else. It's going to be this girl
now, but it'll probably be someone else soon."
I wasn't sure if that made me feel better or not. On one
hand, there was hope that my feelings for her would calm
down. On the other hand, I'd have them for someone else.
It was really overwhelming. So I asked my father, "So
what do I do?"
My mother answered before my father could, "Be friends
with her if you like. But remember that you're not going
to go and get married or anything like that. When your
feelings go back to normal, you'll have her as a
friend."
I really had no idea what to think. I really didn't see
how my feelings could change, even with time. So I
asked, "What if my feelings never change?"
My father laughed and said, "Then we'll need to keep the
two of you apart... at least until you get married."
My mother shot an angry look at my father. "Jack, you're
not helping! " To me, she continued, "They will my
little one... they will."
The conversation had been too much. I really didn't have
anything to say, and didn't want to hear my parents talk
about this anymore. I quietly said that I understood.
There was always one way I could end uncomfortable
conversation, so I went up and hugged my parents. It
turned into a very tender, and quiet, family hug. For
the first time since I had seen the girl in the
driveway, I was not being buffeted with emotions. I just
stood enjoying the safety of my parent's arms.
Then the doorbell rang.
***
"Hi! I'm Jennifer Jenkins, but people call me JJ. I just
moved in next door! Wanna play catch?" the new girl
exclaimed. She spoke quickly and directly, and I almost
felt assaulted by her words. It was obvious that she
knew what she wanted—she wanted to be friends with me. I
had a feeling that she was the type of person who always
got what she wanted, at least eventually.
"Whoa, kid... Better slow down a bit," the big man I had
seen the day before chuckled as he looked down at me.
Looking over me at my father, who was standing behind
me, he extended his hand and said, "I'm Jack Jenkins. We
just move in next door. My daughter saw your son last
night and just couldn't wait to meet him. I hope we're
not disturbing you."
"Not at all," my father said, as he invited them in.
"I'm Kevin Schaffer. This is my wife Nancy, and my son
Brian."
In the living room, there was an unspoken agreement
that the children should sit quietly until the parents
had a chance to feel each other out. While they did
that, the girl kept smiling at me. On one hand it made
me feel embarrassed. However, every time I looked away,
within seconds I found my gaze drawn back to her. As the
conversation continued about trivial things, I wanted to
run across the room and hug the girl.
I could tell that something was on my mother's mind, as
she kept looking at Mr. Jenkins in an almost suspicious
manner. Finally, she asked, "Are you same Jack Jenkins
who is building all the developments?"
Mr. Jenkins let out an uncomfortable chuckle, "Well yes,
that's me. But I'm not really as bad a guy as people
make me out to be. Anyway, I got my start as a
contractor building houses, and that's what I still
consider myself."
I understood the connection my mother was making. Mr.
Jenkins was a controversial figure in the area. People
were saying that he had come from out of town, and was
buying up old farms to build ugly houses. He didn't
build neighborhoods, just shacks for people to sleep in.
A lot of folks didn't like that.
My father put his hands up as if to stop Mr. Jenkins.
"Jack... I hope it's OK if I call you that... You're not
going to be judged in this house. First of all, my bank
is financing most of the stuff you're building around
here..."
"Oh, you're with First Northeastern?"
"Yes, I'm a branch vice-president and I'm on the board."
"I can't tell you how happy I am with you guys. I'm sure
you've taken a lot of heat about working with me. Oh,
and yeah call me Jack."
My father laughed, "You must not know the area up here.
People talk a good game, but aren't willing to put their
money where their mouths are. We've gotten nasty mail,
obscene phone calls, and the president even got some
death threats. But you know what? Deposits are up
significantly. People see us doing business with you, so
they think we're about to go big time. The more people
yell, the better it gets. So maybe I should be asking
you to piss off some more people." As he said it, Mr.
Jenkins and my mother started laughing as well.
When she was done laughing, my mother smiled, and said,
"Jack, Kevin's wrong. You are going to be judged in this
house. My husband and I have talked about the life
you're breathing into this area. The problem is that you
have all of these geriatrics who think this is still the
1950's and don't want to see a damn thing change. You
are giving this area, and those old people, the kick in
the behind they need. Yes, Jack, you've been judged and
we're glad to have you as a neighbor."
"Well, thank you, Nancy. I'm glad to be here as well.
I've been looking forward to being here for a long
time."
"Jack, that begs the question," my father asked. "Why
here? I mean you could live in any of your developments
or have a big house in the country. Why in this
neighborhood with the houses so close together?"
"I could ask you the same thing," Mr. Jenkins smiled at
my father. "I mean you're a bank VP and on the board."
My dad thought for a second then said, "I guess we never
really wanted anything more. We moved in here with
Nancy's mother before she died, and just never saw the
need for anything else. It's just the three of us, so we
don't need anything bigger. And down here you're close
to everything. We couldn't want more."
"Exactly," Mr. Jenkins replied. "We lived down near
Washington, DC for a long time. Pretty much lived down
there all of my life. My father moved there for better
opportunities when it was building up after the war. But
he was originally from up here. In fact, the first two
houses he built were for his parents and in-laws. In-
laws were gone a long time ago, but his father lived in
the house until maybe about fifteen years ago. Then he
moved down with us, and some couple with a little girl
bought it. I really missed that house because every
summer I'd spend a couple of weeks with my grandpa, and
they're some of my happiest memories. Anyway..."
Before Mr. Jenkins could finish, my mother exclaimed,
"Little Jack! Oh my god! I'm sorry I didn't make the
connection. How's your little brother?"
Mr. Jenkins chuckled again, "I don't believe that I
didn't make the connection either. But then again, you
do have a different last name now, and I don't remember
people calling you Nancy. Nan, wasn't it? Anyway, Tony's
good. He entered the ministry and has a bunch of kids.
It's hard to believe, but he's five years younger than
me—I think about your age— but he already has
teenagers."
After a few minutes explaining to my father that my mom
and Mr. Jenkins's brother used to play when they were up
over the summer, Mr. Jenkins's continued, though his
face turned more somber, "Some things happened, and my
wife, Judy, and I decided it was time to get out of DC
Metro. We thought this would be a good place to raise
JJ.
"Oh, and just to get everything out in the open, I heard
some stories about why that couple and their not-so-
little girl left. Let me tell you can talk to Judy and
me about it any time you want." Then looking sorrowfully
down at his daughter, he said, "We know exactly how you
must feel."
The room was silent. I guess there was nothing any of
the adults needed to say. Somebody had done something
with this beautiful girl like Julia had done with me. I
was about to make a mental note to ask her if she was in
love like I had been, but when I looked across the room
at her I knew it wasn't the case. The bubbly girl with
the angelic smile was staring at the floor as if she
were ashamed and scared. For the first time it occurred
to me that maybe Julia wasn't being completely honest
about loving me.
At this moment though, the girl across the room from me
looked really sad, so without thinking I ran across the
room and hugged her. First I felt her arms lock around
my back, and I felt her squeeze me. Then she laid her
head on my shoulder, but didn't cry. For some reason the
combination was magical. I felt as if the world had
disappeared and it was just the two of us in the room.
"I'm sorry," came out of my mouth though I hadn't even
thought to say it.
The sound of all the parents crying brought me back to
into the room. At first, I thought I had said something
wrong, but Mr. Jenkins started mussing my hair and
saying how good of a kid I was. At the same time, my
parents were saying how proud they were of me. I
realized that I must have done the right thing. It was
confirmed when I broke the hug with the girl, and she
looked me in the eyes and smiled. The angelic smile was
back.
It seemed as if everyone had passed some kind of test,
since Mr. Jenkins invited my parents over to meet his
wife. The girl and I were encouraged to go play.
***
About an hour later, JJ and I were sitting on the back
steps of my parents' house panting. We had been playing
catch non-stop, with JJ talking the entire time. I
learned that she had a lot of friends by her old house
until about a year ago. Then while she was at a friend's
house, her friend's older brother touched her. She told
her parents, who called the police, and the boy ended up
being sent to a special school. Instead of people
feeling sorry for her, people blamed her. Apparently,
the guy was a really good athlete and people were upset
he wouldn't be playing football for the high school any
more.
In the whole conversation, she seemed nonchalant.
However, there on the steps she turned serious, "It was
OK, Brian. He told me I was special and he wanted to
play a special game with me. I just couldn't tell anyone
about it. At first he just touched my chest. Then had me
touch his wee-wee. It was weird because it got big and
really hard. He seemed to like it thought.
Then he touched my little button and it made me feel
really good. But then he put his finger inside of me and
it really hurt. I didn't think it was supposed to do
that, so I asked my mom that night why it did. Then
everything happened. I'm sorry I said anything because
so many people got mad at my mom and dad." She started
to cry.
I didn't know what to do, so I put my arms around her
and started to tell her about Julia and me. After a few
seconds she stopped crying and listened attentively. She
asked occasional questions like what it tasted like and
if Julia had done anything to make me feel good. When I
said she hadn't, JJ snorted and said that at least Mike
had made her feel good.
When I finished telling the story, she squeezed me
tightly and said that we were two of a kind. Then she
said something that I never forgot or got over.
"Brian, promise me you'll always be with me?" she asked.
To me next week was a long time away. 'Always' was
something I couldn't comprehend. But without thinking
about it, I swore that I would always be with her. I
could tell by the innocence in her eyes that it was a
promise she intended for me to keep.
After taking a couple popsicles from the freezer, JJ and
I went back to playing. I showed her my back yard and
pointed to my room. I knew better than to take her up
there, as my parents didn't like having anyone upstairs
unless they had a chance to tidy up first. That is
everyone except for my mom's friend the cop. She could
go up any time.
Eventually, it got to be dinner time. JJ and I had
played together for most of the day, and I really felt
as if we were a team of two. I didn't want the day to
end, but eventually my parents came out of the Jenkins's
house with JJ's parents in tow. They told us to say our
good-byes as it was dinner time for both families.
JJ said OK, but then pulled me around the corner of the
house. She somehow managed to look angelic and sly at
the same time when she asked, "Did you like me naked?"
I was completely unprepared for the question. I knew she
had seen me looking at her naked the previous night, but
I just assumed from her reaction that it hadn't really
clicked what I was doing. But now it was apparent that
she was well aware that I had looked over her body.
"Um... yeah... you looked really cute," was all I could
respond.
"Thanks," she said, and kissed me on the cheek. The
feeling was unimaginable. With all of the intimate
touching I had done with Julia, JJ's kiss did more to
excite. I felt the tickle in my wee-wee again.
JJ took me by the hand and started to lead me back
around the house. Just before the corner she stopped.
Looking back at me, she asked, "Can you sleep with a
light on?"
"Yeah, I guess so," I replied to what I thought was a
weird question.
"Good," JJ replied, seeming strangely excited. "I always
sleep with one on. If you sleep with one on too, we can
see that the other one is there. I'd really like that."
I smiled back at her and said that I'd like that too,
even though it seemed a little strange. However, that
made her smile even more. As she led me the rest of the
way around the house she whispered, "You can look in on
me any time you want."
-- end chapter 2--
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