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--
Free gay and straight sites at http://209.45.151.35
Weird World of Sex
by
John Enwright
Consider the couple in New York who were hurt while making
love. And you thought that sex is a non-violence activity. Be
reassured that it is. Unfortunately, if you take your mattress
and put it on the subway tracks, you're bound to be injured
sooner or later.
Another couple resolved their differences the hard way in
Montevideo, Uruguay when the irate husband killed his ex-wife
after declaring he wanted to resume his married life with the
unfortunate woman. Unsure of the concept?
Well then, how about the love-sick pilot who buzzed his long
lost love's house in Edmonton, Canada. After hassling the neigh-
bors and his ex for a few hours, he eventually ran out of fuel
and crashed into the woman's living room.
Latin America is the one region in the world that must hold
the records for the youngest mothers. The youngest was thought to
be a 10 year old in Brazil. Now it appears that a Colombian
mother of eight gave birth in 1988.
Take in consideration the woman pro golfer who hit her tee
shot, which then struck a tree, rebounded and ended up in her
bra. Elaine Johnson, our erstwhile pro duffer, comments, "I'll
take a two stroke penalty, but I'll be damned if I'll play it
where it lies."
After hearing the former bodyguard of Mike Tyson, Rudy
Gonzalez, you wonder why ole' Mike got convicted of rape. Seems
Tyson was having sexual encounters with ten to fifteen women a
day. "There was a lot of kinkiness," said Gonzalez, "I'd have to
go out and buy cucumbers."
Gonzalez also said that he had to be present during the
festivities so that Mike wouldn't get his throat cut or something
similar. "Yes, many of the women did have problems with
that...but it was non-negotiable, house rules."
Other people play rough too. Consider Mexican Primitivo
Espada, who was separated from his wife for 5 years. Mr. Espada
decided that the time in the bed with her had been terrible. One
day, he returned and strangled his wife.
Just to even things out, there's the case of the Latin
American woman who cut off her man's penis because of alleged
infidelity. Maria Otilia Zuniga Molina of Cuenca, Ecuador decided
enough was enough. After drugging her mate, she surgically re-
moved the offending member. Ms. Zuniga eventually became a nun.
Those sex researchers have come up with another astounding
fact. While studying the sexuality of women subjects, they found
that a good percentage have had orgasms when their big left toe
was sucked. On a small minority, this only worked on their right
toe.
Sex researchers, Masters and Johnson in their book, "Homo-
sexuality in Perspective," assert that homosexuals make better
love than heterosexuals. They base this conclusion on a study of
681 heteros and 167 gays done between 1968 and 1977.
Those who know at Johns Hopkins University have found that
nitric oxide is what makes men have erections. Don't rush out to
the dentist, they are two different chemicals.
"...Charles hasn't made love to me in five years. Andy and
Fergie are crazy about each other" and "can't keep their hands
off each other. No wonder she's smiling..." said Princess Di of
England. These are just some of the quotes from what's published
in the London tabloids. And we thought they were happy just being
rich.
Continuing on with the Charles-Diana Saga, the Daily Mirror
of London says Charles told his married lover, "In my next rein-
carnation, I'd like to live as your trousers." Not many of us
knew the Prince believed in reincarnation to inanimate objects.
Speaking of royalty- Infamous Ivan the Terrible once had
1,500 virgins presented to him for marriage. Anastasia Zarina
Yureva was chosen to be his wife, and gave birth to the old
family of the Romanovs that died during the Russian Revolution.
The monk Rasputin, who controlled the ill fated Romanovs,
was known for his hypnotic power of persuasion. Additionally, sex
orgies were a regular part of his regimen. His penis was also
said to have been enormous and when his killers eventually pre-
vailed, they cut it off. Sort of a keepsake...or wishful think-
ing?
Not only did King Tut lose his fabulous jewels after he was
excavated, he lost his family jewels. American Egyptologist,
Dennis Forbes, said "We think someone snapped off the penis
before Tutankhamen was reinterred the first time in 1926." Still
hard after all these years...
Apparently a souvenir hunter has also taken advantage of the
"Iceman," the Neolithic man found in the Alps recently. After
studying the corpse, scientists discovered that his penis and
testicles are missing! Speculation is that it was snapped off
while the body was still frozen. Somewhere maybe a collector has
the aforementioned penises and Napoleon's too.
Nothing's sacred anymore. Seems that historian James Thomas
Flexner now says that Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson's Vice
President and founder of the US Treasury, was bisexual. The
evidence points to his partners as being Colonel John Lawrence
and Marquis de Lafayette.
In the resort town of Playas, Ecuador six homosexuals were
arrested for illegal activities. Apparently, they were detained
when it was discovered they were having a beauty pageant to elect
the "queen of the town."
Then there's the case of April Ashley of England who once
was a man and decided to get married. However, a court found that
since she had the chromosomes of a man and was born a man, the
marriage was null and void.
Another man who now goes by the name of Sarah Luiz and
worked at Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Massachusetts, had her
sex change in 1986. Ms. Luiz is now an ardent feminist.
Most men prefer keeping their penises and according to one
study by Doctor Jacobus, the race with the biggest penises over-
all are the Arabs with 8 to 10 inches. But the Sudanese have some
of the larger individual specimens with 12 inches. Dr. Jacobus
concludes that the bigger ones are the Sudanese. Nothing like
scientific logic.
In France and Italy recently, there was the scandal involving
the Nigerian Princess who reportedly had over 4,000 women prosti-
tutes under her control. All were young girls from Nigeria,
Senegal, Togo and Liberia.
Apparently the latest way to smuggle drugs is to mold or
even put them under the skin according to reports from the South
American press. One woman was caught when police noticed someth-
ing about her- those buttocks were "too perfect." One woman
attracted the attention of customs in Bogota because her thighs
were so large. In another case, an operation was required remove
the drugs from underneath one woman's skin.
Jutta Kottlorz of Germany confessed to having slept with
1200 men in 1988. It makes one wonder how many she has had up
till now... By the way, seems Jutta kept a diary of her day to
day sex encounters.
Vanna White's of TV's "Wheel of Fortune" life as a celebrity
has its pitfalls. Her career survived when her nude pix were
published some years back but recently a fan burst in on her in a
changing room at a plush Beverly Hills clothes store. Clad only
in panties and bra, Ms. White watched in "horror" as the fan
asked for her autograph.
The police eventually hauled the man away. Another time,
while Ms. White signed autographs in Orlando, Florida, a man made
his way to the front of the line and exposed himself. What some
won't do for an autograph.
One of the contenders for "Father of the Decade" has to be
Kip Wendler, better known as "Doctor Papa." Believed the father
of at least 300 children, he doesn't know any of them nor their
mothers. Doctor Papa is a regular donor at the sperm bank.
At the University Language Center in Australia, there is a
new course- in swearing. No, it's not for the natives, they do
well enough. Yes, the course is for immigrants who have problems
understanding of such phrases as "playing silly buggers" (actual-
ly said by ex-Prime Minister Bob Hawke to a Japanese group.)
The famous sex clubs in Thailand are hurting due to the AIDS
crisis. Most sex of choice is now just blowjobs. One such place
is called the Kangaroo Club where the Australians go. As might be
expected, the favorite activity is drinking beer and the blowjob,
which the Aussies refer to as a "slimmer's lunch."
For those who like to watch sex, Thailand also offers many
shows. On any given day, you might see ordinary fuck and lesbian
acts or for the more adventurous- women pulling razor blades,
shooting balloons with a dart gun, smoking cigarettes and blowing
smoke rings, inserting snakes and fish, all done with their
vaginas.
Contrast Thailand with Saudi Arabia. There, men and women
are separated constantly whether in restaurants, the beaches or
even at home. No sex shows, no prostitution- in fact wearing a
bikini at the segregated beaches might get you a date with a few
stones tossed by the natives.
Apparently not only the women of Thailand are so sex con-
scious. A Thai monk recently assured he could help an unemployed
man rid himself of his bad luck. After chanting prayers, the man
was given a blowjob, for which he gave $10 to the monk. After-
wards, the man realized he had been abused and sought out the
police.
For those condom and earring lovers, Safe Ears were recently
released by an American company. Packaged as gold coins with ear
clip-ons ("two to clip on, one to slip on"), they are the ul-
timate safe sex accessory!
Chilean television viewers who expected to see a soccer
match, instead got Ciccolina (Italian porno star and ex-
legislator) having sex with many of her friends. The station
owners commented, "It was a genuine terrorist attack."
IRNA, the Iranian news agency, says that a Teheran Universi-
ty professor was fired for advocating "cheap Western values."
Apparently, the academic has been espousing "pre-marital sex
relations between female and male students and cohabitation."
The ancient world also had some strange rules. If a male
Spartan was not married by thirty, two punishments were carried
out. First, he could no longer vote...and...watch athletic events
that feature young men and women participating in the nude.
Those judges apparently are crazy in Sri Lanka too. Accord-
ing to reports, a magistrate in Panadura ordered a 35 year old
rapist to marry his 15 year old victim. The mother of the unfor-
tunate girl had "no objection" and the report goes on to say that
the couple left the courtroom "happily with a smile."
The World Health Organization apparently has little to do
(consider AIDS and other diseases) but to conduct surveys. One
interesting fact uncovered in one lengthy report estimates that
in any one given day, 100 million people are having sex, leading
to 1 million pregnancies and 150,000 abortions.
Those communist nations may have missed the sexual
revolution but at least they were allowed to bathe nude at the
beach. In the former communist eastern part of Germany, this has
changed. All along the Baltic coasts signs banning nudity and
fences surrounding nudists are being built. This is being done to
mollify visitors- mostly "West Germans."
Besides determining that Galileo was right about the sun
being the center of the solar system, the Pope has new news about
heaven. Apparently, there is no sex there because "they (the
residents) are like the angels."
When the wife's away, the husband plays or so it would seem.
After believing that his wife was visiting friends in Germany,
the erstwhile philanderer decided to visit a brothel in Germany.
Imagine his surprise and shock when lo and behold his wife was
offering her services at the very same whore house!
The winds of change are coming slowly to China. In an effort
to bring in the modern age, calendars will be allowed to feature
women in bikinis.
A couple was arrested in Pikeville, Kentucky for making
love. If that seems unfair, Rhonda McCowan and Walter Warner were
fined $385 because they did it on the roof of the Pinson Hotel.
All this could have been prevented if they had paid the $18.53
room charge.
One housing agency in London who had been denied a govern-
ment grant once when they advertised for jobs is at it again.
What got the British bureaucrats so upset was that they adver-
tised for "a black woman and a lesbian" for the post of housing
manager. The latest request of Homeless Action is for an "Asian
lesbian housing manager."
If you are unmarried and living with a member of the op-
posite sex in Pakistan, severe punishments may be meted out.
Village elders in Barra ordered one couple shot for their
"crime." The man's father was commanded to execute the couple.
The new Universal Catechism of the Catholic Church lists a
multitude of sins that can condemn the sinner to hell. Although
there is a pardon for a "just killing," there is none for a just
fornication. By the way, sexual wrong is defined in 10 pages.
Before, only seven lines were used. The Catholic Church must have
forgotten something...
Now we know why China is the most populist nation. Even as
poor as they are, there exist "unisex barber shops" where not
only can the modern worker get their haircut but their pubic hair
and other beauty treatments. The most popular pubic design is the
butterfly or heart. For an extra fee, most will color hair "to
suit the personality."
Every so often true life seems even more strange than the
tabloids could possibly make up. Mary and Jack are one such case.
The South African men have been "married" since May 28, 1960.
That's not too unusual today but consider that they are also
brothers...
Musician Lenny Kravitz, ex-husband of Lisa Bonet of the
Cosby Show, has moved to the Bahamas. He's building a recording
studio. After all those years in the fast lane, he had this to
say, "Maybe I just don't care about sex. It's great, but I be-
lieve music's better."
Richard Gere who's married to model Cindy Crawford also has
some interesting comments. "My wife doesn't understand why I'm
such a sex symbol...You see, it's just the movies."
Self named British "erotographer" Ernie King, editor of
Eurosex, has a class for teaching about pornography. For about
$2,000, Mr. King will fly you to his villa in Spain and there you
can learn all about the ins and outs of porn. His mag offers
mostly straight erotica. He comments, "I am prepared to instruct
only people seriously interested in learning the alchemy of
erotography."
Another Englishman claims he can improve your sex life by
hypnotizing terrible lovers. "Even if you are not very
good...you'll provide the same sensation as a combination of Tom
Cruise and Casanova." However, some disagree. The British Council
for Professional Stage Hypnotists says that Peter Powers is a
fraud. "Once the hypnotism wears off the effects do too."
Comedian Jackie Mason denies reports he tried to have
"elevator sex" with a young woman. After wooing the 29 year old
woman at dinner, he allegedly invited the woman to his apartment
to meet Mikhail Gorbachev. Debbie Goodman thought after he made
the advances, "He wouldn't hurt me...he's a rabbi!"
Mason commented, "I didn't even tell a dirty joke. Do you
think that I'm that desperate? God bless her but she's a pathetic
looking yenta. I've got gorgeous girls hitting on me...every
day!"
The latest rumors circulating is the Donald (Trump) wants to
have topless dancers in his Plaza Hotel. Jackie Mason comments
"I've been dying to do topless for years." Maybe Mason could do
his act in the elevator.
George Bush's family values are a recent thing. Seems that
the ex-Prez was the roommate of a mother/daughter prostitution
ring when he was a college student. He got an earful every night
because the air conditioner "wasn't noisy enough to drown out the
`socializing' on the other side of the partition."
Prozac, the controversial drug used to treat depression, is
now being touted as a cure for premature ejaculation. Dr. Roger
Crenshaw believes that since the drug increases the amount of
serotonin (a natural chemical) which stops "overstimulation" most
men can be cured. For $45 a month, the patient can improve his
sex life in a matter of weeks.
Dillon Talbot, a computer salesman, is serving a year in
jail for indecent exposure and lewd behavior. When Talbot found
about a bachelorette party, he passed himself off as a stripper
sent by an anonymous friend. Most of the time he would be
"lathered" with oil by the co-eds. He was caught when one unbe-
lieving student took his picture at a party.
Religion is taking a new turn at one prison. Jesse Loden who
belongs to the "Technicians of the Sacred," a religious order
founded in 1983, seeks to worship in the nude at the prison
church. He's suing the Illinois Department of Corrections.
For one 50 year old man, James Buff, his foot fetishism has
landed him with a criminal trespass violation. Seems he had broke
into 76 year old Velda Poer's home and had planned to "tickle her
feet." Ms. Poer let out a blood curdling scream and Mr. Buff left
but the police caught him shortly thereafter.
State laws have some strange twists. Did you know adultery
is a crime in California? ($1,000 fine and/or a year in jail) In
Oklahoma, it's illegal to masturbate while watching other couples
make love at a drive-in movie! (offenders are charged with
"molesting a vehicle") Having sex in a moving vehicle is punish-
able in Tennessee! ($50 or thirty days in jail) Having sex in a
stationary car is illegal in New Mexico...unless you have cur-
tains.
"Virtual reality," the latest computer craze, may be banned
in several states. No, not for business use but for those who use
the imagining for "dates" with too realistic computer generated
women.
In this day and age, safe sex is paramount and swingers are
reinventing the orgy to reflect this. Now jacking off parties are
the latest rage all across America among many swingers.
Some of the latest screwiness to hit the political theater
is the bill known as the Pornography Victims Compensation Act (S.
1521.) According to industry sources, this bill would absolve
criminals of their crimes if they claim that "pornography made me
do it." Instead the blame would be placed on the publishers of
said material. Unanswered questions arise; such as which publica-
tion is responsible and why aren't weapon or chain saw manufac-
turers held liable when their product is used in the commission
of a murder or assault. Besides, it has never been proved that
porno contributes to any criminal activity mentioned above. It
should be noted that in countries such as Iran or Saudi Arabia,
pornography is banned and yet crimes against women are greater
than other countries where freedom of speech is guaranteed.
In New York, the local papers have been featuring ads for
plastic surgery. The twist is that the doctors are touting sur-
gery for men who suffer gynecomastia. This affects an estimated
38 percent of men. What is it? Men with female-sized breasts.
According to the doctor, "The surgery means the difference bet-
ween existing and living life to the fullest."
Those European condom makers have had some problems. The
financially strapped Russian government cannot afford to import
latex. In Spain, Italy and Portugal, 50 percent of the condoms
sold fail strength tests and in Italy 33 percent have holes.
Two sex surveys published by the National Enquirer and the
Weekly World News have some startling but perhaps understandable
results. In the Weekly World News, a little over half of the men
surveyed state that they would rather kiss than have sex. In the
Enquirer, 83 percent of the married women would rather shop than
make love. As one new wife said, "...I'm rich in the lovemaking
department but poor otherwise. I'll take the money."
Actress Connie Stevens, the landlord of many buildings in
Los Angeles, found out recently that one of her tenants was a
call-girl ring. She was informed of this by the LAPD after bust-
ing and evicting the group.
According to reports of the Associated Press, those Aussies
are giving new meaning to "Down Under." A new show was recently
taken off the air in mid-show by irate callers. "Australia's
Naughtiest Home Video Special" featured a couple making love from
afar, animals doing the same and near naked women. The day was
saved when it was replaced midstream by an episode of "Cheers."
Tennis pro Steffi Graf has a lot on her mind these days
besides beating her opponents. Ms. Graf is threatening to sue the
punk rockers, School Kids Scraped by a Bus, over their song
entitled "I Want to Fuck Steffi Graf."
Quotes- Actress Shelly Winters says "I think nudity on the
stage is disgusting, shameful and unpatriotic. But if I were 22
with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and
a progressive, religious experience."
James Dean who was rumored to be bisexual is quoted in the
book, "James Dean: Little Boy Lost" as saying "If my mother
hadn't died when she did, I would have been queer."
Has anything really changed? State of Alabama teachers are
forbidden to teach anything about sexual diseases in the class-
room. The rate of AIDS in Alabama has increased 58% in the last
year.
According to one British study released in 1992, bulimia
nervosa women are attracted to- get this- overweight men. Seems
like these women who gorge themselves and then throw up, find and
fall in love with men who eat too much and manage to hold it
down, irresistible.
The adage floating around the Washington D.C. crowd is that
it's okay for politicians to do anything they want sexually.
However, most agree that what is politically damaging is to be
caught in bed with a "dead woman or a live boy."
One politician in Richmond, California apparently isn't
about to give up her other job. Councilwoman Donna Powers who
moonlights as the 8 inch nude mermaid at Bimbo's 365 Club in San
Francisco, says "I'm a pink little thing. The bowl is very for-
giving. I guarantee you any woman would look like a knockout in
that fish bowl."
Men's Health magazine apparently is taking itself a little
too seriously. A study recently completed says that men scored
71% of the time when they used the pickup line "Hi." Believe it
or not, 100% of the women scored when they used the same line...
Parade magazine says one of the worst trends is Madonna.
Lisa Birnbach, who compiled the list says, "We've seen her almost
nude, semi-nude, quasi-nude and nude. She seems to have a need to
be nude. What's next? Her X-ray?" Well, we haven't seen her
spread shot!
Remember when it was exciting enough just to get married?
These days, it's not the sex that counts but how you get hitched.
Witness the bungie jumpers, marriage in the nude and other such
stunts. One couple, Gina and Stuart Scott, got married at the 7
Eleven where they first saw each other. "...I wanted to marry my
wife where I met her," said the groom. "She laughed about it at
first. But after she thought about it, she thought it was roman-
tic."
According to one report circulating in the world press is
that the reason Christine Jorgensen, the first publicized trans-
sexual, died was because of stress. When she had the operation in
the fifties, she became an instant celebrity and over the years,
this took its toll said her doctor, Lancford Gohng.
Another report circulating in the Latin American press says
that one hundred dollars will get a new hymen for the sexually
experienced female. One source indicated that "thousands of North
American girls travel to Mexico" to restore the trust desired by
their fiance.
In 1951, two brothers from New Zealand were separated at
birth and were later adopted separately. All those years, the
brothers searched for each other. Finally in 1992, they found
each other. Imagine the surprise when the one living in England
had a sex change operation and is now the mother of three.
With the latest rage being non-alcoholic drink, someone had
to come up with a way combining it with sex. Well, our prayers
were answered by the Lollipops juice bar in Eugene, Oregon. There
you can not only drink to your health, you can ogle bare breasted
bartenders as well.
And you thought the reason that the star of the sitcom,
Roseanne, lost weight was for her health. Think again. Says Ms.
Arnold "I was a big fat pig...I weighed 300 pounds...and we were
unable to have sex."
Mel Gibson was quoted as saying this about his famous nude
scenes, "If I've still got my pants on in the second scene, I
think they sent me the wrong script."
Apparently a new definition of "romance" is taking place at
the local Blockbuster Video store. "Mandingo," described by one
movie reviewer as "an infamously vile and brutal tale of Old
South masters and slaves," features the story of a black slave
forced by his master's wife to make love and then boiled alive
for his indiscretion.
In this technology first world, it had to happen. The Safe
Sex Sofa made its debut at a fair called "The Wild West Week at
the Pacific Design Center." Seems that when an amorous couple
sits down, recorded messages touting safe sex are played. The
promotional literature says "Not since the French has the classic
design for the boudoir of the 90's been so inviting."
Speaking of safe sex, condoms were being used as the center-
piece at Harvard Divinity School in an art exhibit. Karen Nor-
berg, the artist, has incorporated condoms in innovative ways.
According to an Associated Press story, the artist covered them
with "beads, fur, yarn, leather, feathers and bracelet charms."
In addition, others featured "condoms filled with honey, alphabet
soup, a baby sneaker, tiny models of the earth and sunflower
seeds." The most telling was one called "Carmen Miranda." Ms.
Norberg comments "This is serious art."
Frivolous suits seems to be the order of the day. One pris-
oner in the Illinois' Pontiac Correction Center is suing for the
right to "wear a bra, panties and mascara" according to the
Chicago Tribune. Anthony Jones who prefers Tonya Star Jones, says
"I have every right in the world to wear a dress."
Billboard signs along the highway are a great American
tradition. Burma Shave and all that. These jewels were spotted
recently. In Kalispel, Montana appeared- "Every Hour One Montanan
Gets Gonorrhea," and in Corpus Christi, Texas, "Surprise Her With
Crabs."
This one was in Reader's Digest. A mother and daughter were
at an art show. The artist was a family friend and one painting
of a nude woman looked awfully familiar. "I trust you haven't
taken to posing in the nude," said the woman. The daughter an-
swered, "Oh, no. He painted that from memory."
One side note to our involvement in the Moslem country
Somalia is the practice of circumcision. No, not of men but of
women. Seems like the culture we're trying to save has as one of
its traditions the removal of clitorises and the sewing up of
women's vaginal openings. Maybe this is why all the right wingers
are in favor of going there in the first place.
Bondage is not thought of as very popular in our society.
But consider this. In 1989, one study states that over 40 percent
of the patients in senior citizen complexes were put into "physi-
cal restraints" at some point during the year.
For some, sexual arousal takes many forms. In New York City
(where else?) there is a club called "Hot Ash." The all male club
derives their sexual satisfaction from smoking cigars and other
acts involving them. Some forms of play include blowing smoke at
others, rubbing their partners' faces in ashtrays and using a
cigar as a dildo and then replacing it with a penis. One would
assume this is done- after dinner!
Our psychic friends have predicted at least two major sto-
ries for 1993. According to the annual prognostications in the
National Enquirer, Peter Meers believes that Dolly Parton's left
breast will "explode during a nationally televised special."
Among his many other predictions, Madonna will announce that she
is really the "love child" of....offff... Jim Nabors!
This has little to do with sex (or does it?) but in 1991,
30,000 Americans were injured- by jewelry!
Even in Chesapeake, Virginia strange things can happen.
Seems like in the store called North Landing Grocery, known for
its great barbecue sandwiches, patrons were enjoying a cup of
coffee when they looked down the road and spotted a man coming
their way. "The man walked in here and told everybody...that the
Lord told him to take his clothes off," said the store clerk,
Richard Cuffee. The policeman who arrived at the scene convinced
the man the Lord had confided in the cop to put them back on.
Herve Villechaize, onetime star of the TV show "Fantasy
Island" recently said that he once poured chocolate pudding all
over his naked body. The diminutive 3 foot 11 inch actor says it
was all fun and games in the shower with his 5 foot 9 inch girl-
friend, Kathy Self. Says Ms. Self, "If you haven't had a cho-
colate covered dwarf in your shower you haven't lived."
Another TV star, Roseanne Arnold, decided to turn on husband
Tom with some sexy lingerie but he apparently wasn't very inter-
ested. TV had his attention. When Rosie cried over his neglect,
he realized his mistake. To make amends, Mr. Arnold donned one of
her outfits, the cute French maid outfit complete with crotchless
panties and fishnet hose and all was forgiven and forgotten.
On Craig Charles' British talk show, Brigette Nelson decided
to let the host sample her bosom. Charles says "I almost suffo-
cated. But something about her breasts didn't feel right. One was
harder than the other, and I told her so right there on the set."
Brigette had enough and stormed off the stage.
A man who committed suicide had problems that apparently
didn't end with his death. Seems his lover and his surviving
children are fighting over his frozen sperm. William Kane's
girlfriend, Deborah Hecht and his family cannot agree that she
should have his baby post mortem and the case may eventually be
solved in the Supreme Court.
This ad was recently discovered in a tabloid. "Single white
mom of one, 25, pregnant (due 3/93) looking for nonsmoking mar-
riage-minded man. Photo/phone. Serious only!"
Hair or lack of it has always been a form of sex appeal.
However, some take it to extremes. One man who was so obsessed
with hair that he reportedly had orgasms just touching it, was
arrested in the 1800's in Chicago. His crime? He cut off the hair
of an estimated 50 women!
According to Daniel Mannix, author of the book "Freaks,"
there was one man who had an "additional" problem. Frank Lentini,
one third of Siamese triplets, had two sets of genitals and a
third leg too (no, a real leg.) Reportedly, Mr. Lentini joined
the circus, made a good sized sum of money from exposing himself
and also fathered four children. It's not known if both sets of
organs worked.
Pyromania, the urge to set things on fire, in modern times
has always been thought of as a sexual disorder. A recent case in
Florida proves the point. Patrick Lee Frank was tried and acquit-
ted by reason of insanity after setting fire to 17 churches. The
man confessed to William McFarland of the Bureau of Alcohol,
Tobacco and Firearms, saying churches "were causing him to have
homosexual urges he didn't want" and also "gave him strong urges
to steal cars and slash tires."
Madonna seems to be everywhere in the print medium. One
woman's magazine touts a story on how to save your kids from the
"material girl" while another says that Madonna's dress designer
will do the new president's wife's, Hillary Clinton, inaugural
gown. Watch out America, sex is gonna due you in!
By the way, hierophilia describes Madonna's obsession with
sacred objects. This term applies to those who get sexual satis-
faction from masturbating with sacred objects such as crosses and
attending church services. Those turned on by the preacher and
other public speakers suffer from homilophilia. Aren't you glad
we got all that straight?
The latest scam in Thailand involves robbery. It seems that
transvestites after getting their clients to the hotel rooms are
robbing them. That's not unusual but the way is. The transves-
tites get the unsuspecting Johns to suck on their nipples which
are coated with tranquilizers and the men fall asleep, making
them easier to rob.
Another robbery note. It seems that there is a scientific
term, harpaxophilia, for those who get sexually aroused from
being robbed! We know, they go to Thailand!
With more research, Weird World also found out there is
another scientific name for those who become sexually excited by
traveling! Hodophilia is the proper name and it's said that the
"anxiety, pleasure, autonomy, and additional hours of entertain-
ment" may cause people to break out of their normal routine.
Continuing with the traveling theme, there is also a scien-
tific name for those who like to make love on trains. These
people are known as Siderodromos. This is desribed as follows-
"Couples sometimes reserve a cabin and will have sex standing in
front of the window as the train passes through a town or a
station."
Talk shows in America are obsessed with certain subjects.
Donahue, Oprah and Geraldo all have at one time or another have
had strippers on their shows. Males, females... dwarfs- you name
it. What's next you ask? Recently on the Montel Williams Show,
they had... "Christian Strippers," those who do it for God! We at
Weird World thought they always did stripping for money.
The orient is the mecca for and is known throughout the
world for its sex shows. Our correspondent tells of being sta-
tioned at Clark Air Force Base in the Philippines. One of the
most famous clubs was the Thunder Dome. Here, two naked women
would fight and try to drown each other in a pool of water. Other
clubs featured acts like shooting ping pong balls out of their
vaginas. Probably the most interesting ones were performers who
were able to pick up stacks of coins with their vaginas and
deposit them one by one on the floor.
Another says that Bangkok tops the Philippines. Among the
"acts" there are such famous ones like squatting over a bottle
and holding it, blowing smoke rings from their vaginas, ejecting
razor blades (wanna go to bed with her?) and depositing boiled
eggs in champagne glasses. Best of all are the women who can bust
balloons with darts propelled out of their vaginas. Game, set,
match!
Copyright 1997 XXXXpress
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