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From: Tanjeant@aol.com
Subject: The Annex Reviews 9/15/97
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I've decided to do something a little different for this edition of the
Reviews, which follows hot on the heels of the last. Usually I spent three
or four hours a week wading through the newsgroups, picking out
stories that look interesting and unusual. But this time, I selected them
more or less at random, concentrating on what was posted in the past two
days.
Judge for yourself what this says about the average quality of sex stories.
Lady Sarah's Erotic Fantasy [C]
When posted: 9/13/97
Where posted: ASS
Author: Lady Sarah
Posted by: Paul <Paul@nospam.azeroth.demon.co.uk>
Boy was this story dumb. One of the dumbest I've seen in a while,
rivaling the Spice Girls story I did a review on a while back. It begins by
stating "My name is Lady Sarah, I would like to welcome you to my secret
dairy of erotic fantasy, that exist purely for my pleasure alone." Woah! A
secret "dairy." I'll take two gallons of buttermilk, please.
Lady Sarah takes a shower and masturbates with her fingers in her
pussy. She's also rather detached from herself, commenting on "the
creamy white flesh" and "the pointed pleasure button" of her body...At
least I think the flesh and pleasure button were hers, as no other women
were in the shower stall with her. After that, "Closing my eyes, I sagged
against the cold glass of the cubical, subcoming to my own pleasure." I
believe she means "succumbing" here, though if she's a sub, and is
currently coming, this strange word could make sense.
But alas, her reverie is broken when Alex, the brother-in-law with the
manly torso, climbs into the shower with her. He says, "Don't try and act
coy with me Sarah. I know the sort of woman you are, you want me as
much as I lust over that slender body of yours" in stilted romance novel
speech. Making the most of an embarrassing situation, Lady Sarah sucks
his cock. He responds, " 'God yes, suck it you bitch.' He gasped from
above, then. 'I'm going to come. I want to shower it all over you face
and tits.' until his showered my face and tits with his hot, creamy
spunk." After that he fucks her against the glass wall of the showerstall.
Miraculously, they aren't sliced n' diced when it shatters under the
strain of two copulating bodies.
Compared to "The Storyteller" which I posted in my previous Reviews,
and which was also a female masturbation fantasy, this story falls flat.
You can tell a woman didn't write it, chiefly by the way Lady Sarah
immediately latches onto the guy's cock and the heroic description of
sperm as "hot creamy spunk" rather than the nondescript, snotlike fluid
it actually is. Yeah, yeah, this is porn, we have to ignore certain laws of
nature. But a neutral word like "cum" or "semen" would sound a lot less
ridiculous. Oh, and then there's that tender, romantic "bitch."
Although it stinks, I was actually pretty entertained by the story. It's so
bad, it's good. And it was fun to write this review, too.
Story: First Session (Part 1) (revised) [C+]
When posted: 9/14/97
Where posted: ASS
Author: ebodhrain@aol.com (EBodhrain)
Posted by: ebodhrain@aol.com (EBodhrain)
This posting crossed a variety of genres: BDSM, medical exam, enema, and
chubby. I can't really call it a story. It's more of a private fantasy told
in
annoying second person voice ("With clean, firm hands I begin your
gynecological exam") to you-the-victim, this imaginary person being a
"Queen-sized" woman the narrator's met through email and talked into
playing dom-sub/doctor games with him in his motel room.
Though it doesn't succeed as a story, I found the fantasy interesting for
the insight it gives into the mind of someone who is turned on by
playing kinky games with large-sized women. Sort of like reading an X-
rated confession.
Story1 [B]
When posted: 9/13/97
Where posted: ASS
Author: DeadAim33
Posted by: deadaim33@aol.com
This one was another female masturbation fantasy, but told from the
man's point of view this time, also in that #&$*%#&@!!! second person
voice. Now, there's nothing inherently wrong with second person voice.
It's just that the tone forces the reader to play-act the role of the unseen,
nameless "you" when they'd rather be reading along as readers usually
like to do.
That said, this story wasn't bad, and reading it was like reading a
combination of the previous two stories. The narrator is in his home
office reading his woman's sexy stories and masturbating when he
barges in on her. The sight pleases her, and it pleases her even more to
diddle herself for him. Then she asks him to come on her tits.
Reality check here. #1. I don't get why any woman would go bonkers for
a man's cum on her tits. Jeez, you'd get a better effect from a can of
whipped cream. #2. If a couple has been sexually intimate with each
other, why are they so embarrassed about masturbating in front of each
other?
But this author does write competently, and I did find the story sexy. Just
get rid of the second person voice!
photo shoot fantasy [C]
When posted: 9/14/97
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
Author: px125@aol.com (PX125)
Posted by: px125@aol.com (PX125)
This one's just as dumb as "Lady Sarah's Erotic Fantasy" but in a different
way.
A 20-year-old model with "large and pendulous yet conical shaped
breasts" (Huh? Isn't this a contradiction in terms?) goes into a
photographer's studio for a shoot. I imagine he's one of those amateur
photogs who does it for the girls. After a few hot poses, he says, "I want
your pussy so bad I can't stand it" and she readily agrees to fuck him.
Just like that. Then she obeys all his other commands, such as spreading
her legs on demand.
After that, " 'Suck my dick Holly!!' I yelled along with other random
obscenities as I reached down to fondle her tits and ass." Gee, and she
didn't even sign a model release form.
Sorry, but we need a plot, story structure, and characters here.
Three's Company All Cats are... [B-]
When posted: 9/13/97
Where posted: ASS
Author: Uncle Mike
Posted by: who@why.not
This story was one of many posted by all the same person, who@whynot.
I skimmed a few others, and they all seemed to be about fairly
conventional heterosexual encounters spiced with a few lesbian ones.
They weren't bad enough to be amusing or good enough to be
memorable. The author of this story was "Uncle Mike." I don't think this
is a referral to Mike Hunt, as the styles were very different.
"Three's Company" was a TV show popular about twenty years ago about a
horny guy named Jack who shares his apartment with two female
roommates, Chrissie and Janet. The landlord doesn't approve of this so
Jack pretends he's gay. (In retrospect, the landlord was actually a gay
rights champion who was ahead of his time, given his approval of
homosexuality but not of heterosexual relations.) It was a dumb show,
and this is a dumb story.
The fun begins when Jack surprises Janet humping on top of a stud in
her bedroom. She's nude but for her high stiletto pumps. (Gee, why
aren't her buttocks pierced by the high heels?) Jack assumes the guy's
raping her and pulls him away. The boyfriend leaves, insulted, but Janet
soon decides to fuck Jack instead. In the time-honored tradition, she
immediately sucks his cock, then obligingly receives his cum all over
her tits, face and hair. Jeez, I am so sick of this particular fantasy. Will
someone please tell me what the appeal of it is for women?
After that, Jack licks her pussy, with the obligatory finger up the ass,
and she screams, "Yeah, baby! Yeah! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna... I'm...
Aieeeeee!" I know this is a spoof, but there are good spoofs, and there are
bad spoofs, and the fact is "Three's Company" doesn't lend itself to
spoofing at all, because the premise of it was so campy and loaded with
smirks in the first place. TV parodies only work when explicit sex would
be totally out of place in the shows they spoof. The show is also too old for
a TV parody, unless they've been showing on Nick at Night or something.
To be fair the rest of the story was amusing, with Jack going bonkers for
the comparatively plain Janet instead of sex-bomb Chrissie. He
eventually fucks Chrissie up the ass as she retrieves something from
under the bed, mistaking her for Janet from the waist down, and then
Janet turns into a dominatrix who makes Chrissie lick her pussy as Jack
fucks her, and then there's the oh-so-original female 69 scene.
In conclusion, the writer did an OK job of recreating the stupid gags and
pitfalls of the original show, and the writing was OK for the most part.
But the many cliches were still annoying.
Andy, Garter and Lace [B]
When posted: 9/13/97
Where posted: ASSG
Author: Andy Rhonstadt
Posted by: andyron@hotmail.com
This story could have been a companion piece to Vickie Tern's "Jaycee"
which I reviewed last week, told from the viewpoint of the teenage boy.
It purports to be written by an actual gay, nellie 17-year-old, who says
"For those of you who are wondering, some parts of this are true, but it is
a compilation of many events." Okay, I'll take your word for it.
Part fantasy, part narrative, the story concerns an outstanding sexual
adventure of the young hero, who is employed as an artist's model at a
special school where male artists go to ogle young, smooth,
hermaphroditic-looking boys. One guy becomes a special friend of the
narrator and gives him a powder-blue satin maid's costume to wear, with
a garter belt and glitter. This turns the narrator on, and that night, he
agrees to bondage games at a party his older friend throws. Trussed in a
sling, on exhibition, blindfolded, he enjoys himself immensely...and
receives many flattering compliments on his good looks.
Although this wasn't the greatest writing in the world, the story was
interesting, and it was a relief to read about a main character who acts
and thinks like a real human being instead of a cliche. He says flat-out
he liked the sex and isn't exploited or abused. He wasn't called a "bitch."
He told the story in a believable first person voice, with a beginning, a
middle, and a conclusion. As a plus, no one came on anyone's tits.
Comments to: ladycyrrh@aol.com
Website---> http://users.aol.com/ladycyrrh
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