Message-ID: <54755asstr$1161468601@assm.asstr.org>
From: "Carol C" <cobillard@hotmail.com>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Subject: {ASSM} Some Special Boys
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Date: Sat, 21 Oct 2006 18:10:01 -0400
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
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Mom's Friend, speaking to a young girl:

"Tomorrow is your coming-out party. You'll sit at the end of the bed. Your 
boy will show you his penis. Kiss it and lick it, put it in your mouth and 
rub it with your lips and tongue and make it hard. Then he will pull your 
legs up and kiss and suck your vagina and lick your clitoris. When you are 
ready for climax, he'll move up and you and your friends and your Mom should 
watch his penis slide inside. When he spurts semen into you, you will feel a 
blessed warmth. This is God congratulating you. Then you can take the penis 
back into your mouth and squeeze out some semen if you like: the body and 
blood of Jesus. And you can kiss your boy on the lips and share it. And from 
tomorrow on you will be one of us, one of the congregation of the blessed."

----------

I have written occasionally in defense of coming-out parties, where a girl 
celebrates her defloration before a couple of friends and their partners of 
the day, and with her mom and the boy's mom there for support. I've pointed 
out that in our ethic "virginity" is something we are well rid of, that for 
a girl (or a boy) to make love is to get close to God and that the transfer 
of semen from boy to girl is tantamount to Holy Communion, the semen being 
the Host of the Holy Spirit. Always the girl would be eager, and almost 
always she would be ready to take the initiative, having from birth been 
exposed to the sight of adolescents and adults making love. Only once did I 
see a girl frozen by the sight of the penis approaching her. That was 
notwithstanding that the event had been pre-planned with her. In that case 
her mom had to prompt her: "Take the penis in your hands, dear. See how 
stiff you've made it? It's excited just for you. Look at it all over. Kiss 
it. Run your tongue over its top. Now put it in your mouth. . . . Now spread 
your legs and let the boy kiss your clitoris. . . . Keep your eye on the 
penis now as it goes into your vagina. Don't be afraid to tell us if it 
hurts at all. It shouldn't -- he's made you very, very wet and ready." And 
so on.

Some moms would have added "He's ejaculating now. Think of Jesus." Well, 
that's certainly better advice than to think of a new hat or of England. But 
I think most girls know more or less when semen is streaming inside them, 
and if they're curious -- as most of us are the first few times -- they can 
feel the drips. Mom's Friend encouraged us to kiss and lick a penis after it 
ejaculated. Mom's Friend says that foreplay and afterplay are as important 
as the main event when the penis is in your vagina. That's certainly true 
for the girl. Anyway, at a coming-out, by the time the boy has ejaculated 
the two or three other boys in the room will have stiff erections too by way 
of sympathetic arousal. And everybody will be looking at the surging penis 
for traces of semen leaking from the vagina.

(A planned coming-out event works well only when a daughter has had a 
trusting relationship with her mother from birth, where she has "always 
known" that her sexual life would begin promptly at puberty and she has 
lived among peers who share her culture of intertwined sex and religion, of 
orgasm as communion with God. A daughter who does not flinch when her mom 
parades her before family and friends to show off her puberty. And who knows 
there is nothing more normal than to be attracted by a penis and to make 
love to it in front of friends and family.)

We know, of course, that in mainstream culture and vaginal art aside, 
vaginas are not deemed objects of beauty to be admired and, seemingly, 
worshipped: to them that's a pagan thing. It was Moses David who broke the 
taboo and who brought sex and religion, sex and God, back together as 
wholesome, beautiful things. This, of course, is -- if subtly -- the basis 
for naturism too. But the truth is that we are all drawn to the sight of a 
girl taking a handsome, strong and stiff penis into her body. And most 
especially of her bringing a penis to ejaculation with her mouth and showing 
off its semen, and swallowing it. This I take as proof of the artificiality 
and the error of mainstream religions that make sin out of what to us is 
holy pleasure, Holy Communion. The mother who has hidden her vagina and the 
penises that enter it from her children (whether or not it's the penis of 
their father) is a mother who has closeted them from God and cheated them of 
real sexual pleasure and sacred affinity.

It's worth noting that the boy in the case just described exuded confidence: 
I think it had pleased the mothers when while engaging in oral foreplay he 
used his fingers to spread apart the girl's labia, admired all her layers 
and folds, kissed her vagina gently and then pressed his tongue inside, 
licking and kissing vagina and clitoris to make her ready for his penis. He 
would certainly be invited back, and he'd be a star at the nude dances once 
he was old enough. For the girl, the shyness and apprehension were normal, 
even though she'd certainly seen her peers many times having fun at sex and 
had perhaps watched them, watched penises sliding in and out of mouths and 
vaginas, many times. But now she was at the threshold of joining God and 
Jesus, at feeling their love, receiving in her own body the Body and Blood 
of Christ that is semen. Here before her was a boy-man penis, stiff, with 
its big round head and its lovely testicles in motion, both waiving to her. 
Her small breasts moved seemingly in response. Both mothers watched 
deliciously as the penis made its way into the girl's vagina, broke through 
any resistance, and began stroking its way to orgasm. When the boy had 
finished, his mom told him to come over and show his penis up close to the 
girl's mom.

That coming-out party was special in other ways too, since the mothers of 
the boy and the girl were both, themselves, naked, 30-ish, busty and sexy. 
After the defloration and while the girl's two friends were having sex I 
watched the mothers prancing about, looking over occasionally at the moving 
penises but mainly watching to see who was paying attention to them and to 
their offspring. How different it was from, say, a nudist beach were men are 
expected to pretend not to notice women's sex parts, and sexiness. For 
mothers these defloration parties were not so much demonstrations of sex as 
occasions to witness a rite of passage of a beloved daughter, to affirm the 
growing manliness of a son's penis. The girl's mother, in fact, went over to 
the boy later to tell him how lovely the scene had been for her. She said 
that she was really glad that she'd chosen him for her daughter's coming 
out. The boy stared at the mother's big breasts, she gazed at his penis, now 
again erect. They smiled in mutual admiration.

I hadn't met the lead boy before that day and I wanted to get to know him, 
so at the party later I contrived to be alone with him long enough for (1) 
him to get interested in my body and (2) to arrange for him to be my partner 
at a forthcoming nude dance party. It was at that dance party that I would 
learn his interesting life story and get some insight into his mother's 
attitude at the defloration. I liked his penis, its shape and size and 
presentation; I wanted to use it to control him, if only for an hour. I 
wanted to swallow his semen and I wanted his tongue inside my vagina. I was 
gratified that the boy had no hesitation in talking about himself, about his 
penis and about his early sex life.

He recalled that from the time he was about ten, his mother took a special 
interest in his penis, even measuring it, and when a year or so later it 
started to grow she enrolled him in what she called "the puberty club", a 
quasi-religious Sunday afternoon get-together of pubescent kids at which 
mothers took delight in seeing their offspring realize their sexual 
potential. (In fact, Older Girl and I always found it amusing to spot a boy 
going into puberty and to speculate on just when he'd be having his first 
sexual experience with a girl. Mom's Friend argued for making it sooner 
rather than later because from her point of view if a boy became sexually 
active he wouldn't be masturbating and his semen would retain God's grace.) 
On graduation from that group, he moved on to an adolescent sex club that 
had a loose affiliation with Mom's Friend, and that's how he'd been selected 
to deflower the girl at the party I attended. (Moses David had taught that 
masturbation brought a boy or girl or a man or woman of any age close to God 
and that masturbation and mutual masturbations should supplement penetrative 
sex as quasi-religious events. Mom's Friend attributed too much value to 
semen to agree, and she gives a different interpretation to the Biblical 
story of Onan.) I wanted to know whether it was different for a boy [than 
for a girl like me] to see his mom make love and also to see his mom take 
pleasure in watching him ejaculate into a girl. He seemed surprised at the 
question and said that just as it was perfectly normal for a female doctor 
to look at his penis it was normal too for his mom to see it, even erect, 
even ejaculating. In the latter case the mom's pleasure was not at all 
sexual but based on religion, and on maternal affection.

Actually, he said, until he started having sex himself he was "mildly 
embarrassed" at seeing his Mom doing it, especially at seeing a penis in her 
mouth and semen spilled onto her breasts. It also embarrassed him that his 
mom stared so much at his penis and talked about it in his presence to her 
friends. That she showed special pride over his first pubic hairs and over 
his erections. It wasn't that these were so private as that he didn't like 
having his, implicitly, compared with more mature penises. Soon afterwards, 
though, she started having a preacher friend over and the preacher would 
bring his daughter. It was with that daughter that he had his first sex, his 
mom and the girl's dad looking on.

(Those who argue that a father should not see his daughter having sex miss 
the point. It is no more incest than would be a family outing to a nudist 
colony. Compare this story: http://tinyurl.com/yhpumy And why, if a mom can 
be there, can't a dad?)

This boy was one of several I would get to know over the years within our 
subculture and circle of faith who had been groomed by their mothers to 
deflower adolescent girls. Given that we think virginity is a confinement of 
body and spirit, it's a normal part of our evangelistic belief that boys and 
girls, recently come of age, should share their joy and, with parental 
guidance, seduce and make love and bring others to know Jesus and experience 
Communion. By and large, these were handsome boys with attractive 
personalities and attractive, unthreatening penises. It is a quality hard to 
describe, but there are in fact certain penises that even the most 
inexperienced girl finds seductive and irresistible and eminently kissable. 
If she has been brought up in our way of life and as long as she is on the 
threshold of maturity that I have described, at first sight she will be 
wanting to make love to that penis, to make semen spurt out of it, to make 
the boy happy.

As the boy lay on top of me and as his penis went in and out of my vagina I 
couldn't help but wonder about three things: (1) did his detached demeanor 
mean that while making love to me he was thinking of the pastor's daughter?, 
(2) was he sorry that I wasn't a virgin? and (3) did he really need the 
approval of his mom, or when he showed off his semen dripping out of me was 
he just showing adolescent pride and displaying the family DNA? That said, 
his mom was charming and she seemed so pleased at our mutual fun that later 
I played with his penis again even though I was scarcely in the mood myself. 
I made slow love to it with my mouth, teasing all the semen I could out of 
it, alternating my gaze from penis to boy's face to mother's smile. I 
swished the semen around in my mouth, and licked back into it the bits that 
had dripped out: I was being watched, and being watched made me feel very 
much like a missionary charged with affirming to believers and non-believers 
alike that the moment of ejaculation is a moment of direct communion with 
God. The boy's penis was still in front of me, wilting now. I played with it 
for a moment and when it became stiff again I kissed it one last time. 
Looking about me at people watching I regretted that I hadn't done what I 
sometimes did and do: after collecting the semen on my tongue teasing it 
onto the head of the penis so that when I take the penis out of mouth its 
head is thickly coated. It's the most sensuous presentation I know and 
usually gets everyone looking excited and aroused -- randy enough to have 
sex right away. Of all the techniques I've learned and used over the years, 
it's the most emulated -- and with good reason -- by girls who, like me, 
think of the penis as the most gorgeous of sights. Perhaps, Dear Reader, you 
will agree.

Later and on reflection I was less happy about my day with that boy. I've 
known a lot of boys who strut about, showing off their penises and expecting 
girls to genuflect before them. Boys who have deflowered many girls are 
numerous among them. Even though many such boys know how to show a girl a 
good time, and how to manipulate her clitoris with their tongue and all the 
rest, I don't believe they deserve to be given a free ride, to be allowed to 
swagger about in a chauvinist sort of way. I talked about it with Mom and 
she said, correctly as it turned out, that if I ignored him the other girls 
would take their cue from me and he would stop being invited. Under the 
rules he could come without a special invitation only if he was sponsored by 
a girl, and that didn't happen; nor did the pastor's daughter come, with him 
in tow or otherwise.

For mothers, and for the girl and the boy at the defloration party I was 
describing, defloration was a religious as much a family or a sexual event. 
While virginity is, literally, discarded at the instant of penis penetrating 
vagina, the approach to God and the mental and emotional readiness to adopt 
sex as a form of prayer are natural transformations, things that happen as 
one passes into puberty and one's sex parts grow ready for sex. As we notice 
them being admired by others. Because nude recreation is part of our 
lifestyle and because we as children had no modesty or shame, our 
approaching puberty was a fact of life visible to all. And it was a duty of 
our moms to take note and to encourage us to have sex as soon as we were 
ready.

I think it was a disappointment to many moms that so few girls did in fact 
choose a public party. Like me, some had their first sex spontaneously, on 
impulse. Most fell victim to emotion of the moment, to pressure by peers 
before a party could be arranged. Contraceptive pills were commonly taken 
from the time of first menses whether a girl contemplated sex (as she was 
encouraged to do) right away. But many or most girls would have been 
thinking of oral sex by that time, and if they had attractive breastlets and 
an inviting pubis, almost certainly they would have been gazing at boy's 
penises. That alone would have yielded propositions, caresses, invitations 
to oral sex. Like the British health ministry a year or two ago suggesting 
oral sex to adolescents as a safer alternative, many mothers would be happy 
with this. Happy that their girls were fulfilling religious duty, happy that 
they were receiving pleasure, happy that they were receiving body and blood 
of Jesus. And delighted that they were free to take penis in mouth and to 
make it ejaculate for them, and to have a boy kiss and lick their clitoris, 
to "deflower" them with lips and with tongue, all in a most beautiful and 
public way.

(The question of what age is appropriate for sexual awakening is an age-old 
one. Moses David argued that there is no such lower limit and that every 
human being can experience orgasm. That may be partly true, but it is beside 
the point. It's also an exaggeration; see this essay on why girls fake them 
and how you can tell:
http://tinyurl.com/jhfh3 . It is hormones that induce the urge and need for 
sex, although some pre-pubescent boys and girls may have a precocious 
impulse. Mom's Friend argued that anytime during puberty was the right time 
and that the boy or girl, together with his or her mom, should be free to 
make that decision. Just as one, following Justice Stewart Potter, knows 
obscenity when one sees it, even if it escapes description
http://library.findlaw.com/2003/May/15/132747.html , readiness for sexual 
relations is a relative thing. If a boy gets erections and a girl feels the 
desire to play with his penis and have his tongue at her clitoris, then oral 
sex is appropriate by age 12. (As I note below, for a child not raised in 
the tradition of early and religious sex, the age for first sex is probably 
15 or 15-1/2 -- quincea�era time -- or earlier if with maternal 
encouragement and preparation because after all, a girl's thoughts of and 
ability to enjoy orgasm mature along with her capacity to engage in it. Does 
the quincea�era girl and her guests rush to have sex after the party the way 
we all did after our Prom?) For sundry reasons vaginal sex is more dependent 
upon physical development and the start of menses is a helpful bright-line 
test. As I have said before, early oral sex has a positive effect on 
growing-up itself, and as I myself found there is a practical advantage in 
learning to deal first with semen that is spurting out of a penis in 
relatively small quantities.)

"Gross indecency" is, after all, a state of mind, and one unnaturally caused 
by false religion, by social engineers, by misogynist perverters of natural 
and healthy urges.

I have described, time and again, how, for us, girls were in control. How we 
set the rules and the context and the consent. And how we rarely had sex 
alone. Our nude dance parties were structured, and I've described that at 
length. One had a partner, danced in couples, couples were aroused, and as 
in a chain reaction girls responded to erections and to kissing and arousals 
and ejaculations cascaded through the room. On ordinary days, the tendency 
was for girls to gather in pairs or groups and a boy might approach or be 
invited or teased and a girl might choose him. If one of the girls was a 
virgin, she might be pushed to accept the first or the second boy, to let 
him play with her breasts and in due course she would play with his penis. 
First hesitantly, then curiously, then more confidently. She would have seen 
other girls on other days making love to a penis; another girl alongside her 
might be setting the pace with her boy's head between her legs, or her mouth 
on his penis; or both, at mutual oral sex, 69.

To many who do not share our beliefs and our background among apostates of 
the Children of God, the notion of sex in front of parents and siblings is 
offensive and indecent. To us it is a confirmation of family love and 
religious devotion: even if I was otherwise indifferent about sex, if Mom 
was there and a boy was at my side I would be more likely than not to pay 
attention to his penis, to invite him to caress me and kiss my vagina, and I 
would be eager to have his penis inside me and to show off to Mom traces of 
his semen as it entered me. I especially loved to make love to a boy with 
his mom or dad watching. I imagined that the parent would be touched by the 
boy's penis rising to erection, by the sight of his semen dripping on my 
body. When I was young I would often see Mom in an embrace with her lover of 
the day. Because she had told me it was the most romantic and sacred 
position, and because I could sense, indeed see, that each was getting 
directly blessed by the sex parts of the other, I knew that mutual oral sex 
had special meaning. To see Mom's vagina up high being kissed by her man, 
and his big penis firmly in her mouth being caressed with her lips to the 
point of ejaculation was a blessing for me too, even then. Some girls have 
told me that it unnerved them, when they were young, under, say, 12, to see 
men walking about their house with big erect penises. It never bothered me, 
though, and I thought it to be a rather cute and amusing sight, especially 
when the penis was wet and sticky and sticking straight out.

Dozens of times, as if at a defloration party, Mom and perhaps also the 
mother of my partner would watch as my partner's penis moved in and out of 
my mouth or my vagina. I would be happiest when I knew they were transfixed 
by that moving penis, watching for signs of ejaculation. After all, I had 
grown up within sight of Mom naked and aroused and making love to penises 
day by day. And she had explained the sources of joy in sex, and the meaning 
of semen as Word. I did not often watch directly, but I knew and I 
remembered. And often -- especially when I saw the poster he had on her wall 
of a nude man and woman and gazed at the man's big flaccid penis -- I would 
think of the sight of a stiff penis being held in Mom's hand, her head 
approaching it, her lips kissing it's round head, her tongue licking it, and 
then her mouth opening to receive it. And I would remember that, minutes 
later, semen would drip from the corner of her mouth, and she would show 
immense pride and pleasure, looking over at her man and at me. And if her 
man had not already done so, he would be kissing her vagina and just maybe, 
if his penis was erect again, when she cried out in orgasm he would put his 
penis inside her vagina and they would make love. To each other and to God.

As soon as we were physically able we would want to do likewise. Those very 
few who did not or who were unsuited to our way of life, who were social 
misfits or very late bloomers or gay, would not have remained with us 
because there would have been no point. A mother or older brother or sister 
might be disappointed, might even have taken lack of sexuality as personal 
failure. But we cannot be responsible for the DNA of everybody whose paths 
may cross our own. Even at its most generous and most holy, there remains a 
certain selfishness in sexual relations, there's no denying that, no 
avoiding it. For that same reason, oral and vaginal sex were all that we 
knew. If we knew that some boys and girls masturbated despite our belief 
that it was wrong, selfish and perverse, other sexual perversions did not 
come to my attention. Oral sex, whatever the law and certain religious 
hypocrites might say, was and is an essential and normal foreplay, and that 
is so even if it results in the penis ejaculating in the girl's mouth for 
the boy's semen is hers to enjoy and to consume.

I remember when I was 11, after I had my first vaginal sex in a tumble on 
the floor while jousting with a boy in the Old House, I resolved to try oral 
sex. Another boy and I traded orgasms while some friends looked on. Mom was 
disappointed that she hadn't been there. She wanted to encourage me and, I 
think, to make sure I took control in sexual encounters with boys. I sat 
with Mom, the two of us nude, near where some boys were playing. Mom called 
over one of them. "WhoMe", which is what he replied before sauntering over 
and what I'll call him here, was 12, nearly 13 I think. He was not at all 
nonplussed when Mom started talking to me about his penis: "Carol, penises 
are magical. Look at WhoMe's. It is still growing, and it's really nice. You 
see how his pubic hair sets it off and makes it look important. Remember how 
it was last year? See how its head is big and round, and how the lovely slit 
presents itself. Aren't circumcised penises handsome? . . . Why don't you 
play with it, and caress WhoMe's balls too -- try not to tickle him too 
much. . . . See how you're giving him an erection!"

(It has to be said that WhoMe would not have been coming over to play month 
after month, year after year if his family hadn't been committed to liberal 
sexuality. He must have known that once his penis grew it would be noticed 
and that a boy, a girl or a parent would have accosted him over it. More 
than likely if Mom hadn't, he himself would have soon mustered the courage 
to approach a girl sexually, shyly soliciting her invitation by bringing his 
penis close to her, by staring at her breasts or her vulva. By getting an 
erection close to her.)

Other girls and boys were watching me as I played with WhoMe's penis. I 
kissed it and put it in my mouth and gave it a few strokes, then took it out 
and leaned back in my chair with my legs spread apart, my ankles hooked 
around the chair legs and vagina prominently displayed, and watched while 
WhoMe got to his knees, put his mouth to my vagina, and began to lick it, 
running his tongue all around and over my clitoris and inside my vagina, 
making me feel really tingly and good. He must have watched others to have 
learned the technique. I couldn't see his penis from that angle, and Mom 
described it for me: still stiff and swaying, and she said she thought it 
looked really beautiful. To my disappointment, as soon as she sensed I was 
reaching climax -- the third or fourth orgasm of my life -- Mom had the boy 
stop and told me to take his penis back in my mouth.

I was eager and excited, but totally under Mom's control. The boy stood up 
and put his penis to my mouth. I resumed stroking it with my lips and tongue 
with Mom telling me to feel the shape of its head, to run my tongue around 
it. And always she would be telling me to slow down, that this wasn't a 
race. After a while Mom said that she was sure the boy was about to 
ejaculate and that I shouldn't stop rubbing his penis with my mouth until 
she said so, and that I should try not to swallow just yet, but let most of 
the semen collect at the bottom of my mouth.

Soon the boy did ejaculate -- spurts of semen, at first viscous and then 
runny. I was confused by the spurting and found it hard to control where it 
went while still moving my head and lips back and forth. Then Mom said that 
if nothing more was coming out I could stop, and that the semen would thin 
out in a few minutes if it just sat in my mouth.

The boy's penis was still stiff, as pubescent boys' penises often are after 
sex. Now Mom told the WhoMe to put his penis into my vagina to finish my 
climax. I slid to the floor and the boy moved over me and put his penis into 
me and slid it up and down. It felt wonderful and fulfilling and built up to 
something of a crescendo: not the miraculous 1812-Overture sort of orgasm I 
would come to experience with oral sex brought to its conclusion and even 
with vaginal sex more expertly done. But I felt really good, and having the 
semen in my mouth while it was happening reinforced for me the holiness of 
the sex act.

Mom and several of the boys and girls had sat down on the floor where they 
could see the boy's penis moving inside me. She gave a slow commentary, 
saying that my vagina was so beautiful that this was a daughter's hope and a 
mother's dream, so sensuous and holy, and so on. When he was done, WhoMe 
wanted to play with my breasts -- he said he liked my nipples and he kept 
kissing them. But it started to annoy me, so I made him stop.

Most of the time, the fact that we might be nude in the house was taken for 
granted, as in any naturist environment. It would take a spontaneous 
expression of sexuality from one of the girls -- rarely overtly from a boy, 
because that was a violation of protocol, although boys certainly engaged in 
flirting and teasing in an effort to provoke a sexual advance by a girl -- 
to visibly arouse a boy and allow him to kiss and touch and lead to his 
penis getting erect and encourage a girl to touch it. That might set off a 
chain reaction of arousal. It certainly happened on that day.

Several of the kids who were sitting around us -- all aged 12 to 14 -- were 
unknown to me. The girl who had been giggling the most was now playing with 
the penis of one of the boys and WhoMe began talking to her in a way that 
made me realize they were brother and sister. As was common with kids under 
15 there was little kissing and few preliminaries. The sister had her boy's 
big penis in her mouth and she was moving her head up and down. Mom pointed 
out to me how she was actually taking the penis only a short way into her 
mouth, and she was allowing most of its head to exit her mouth on each 
upward stroke so that she could run her lips around and under it. And so we 
could see and enjoy it. After about five minutes she became more dedicated 
and attentive and then we saw splashes of semen exit the corners of her 
mouth. She stopped, opened her mouth to show us the semen and swallowed. 
Then she lay back and had the boy reciprocate. I'd seen it all before, 
starting with Mom's boyfriends kissing her vagina, but now I was close up 
and it was really lovely how the boy was so attentive to her needs, running 
his tongue gently along all her pink parts and pressing it deeply into her 
vagina, rubbing it all around. Intermittently he would move his head up 
slightly, flicking his tongue over and over again against her clitoris. The 
girl gave occasional instructions about what pleased her most. Then, without 
warning, she broke into a shriek of orgasm. The boy moved back; his girl's 
vagina gaped at us; saliva and mucus dripped out of it.

About this time one of the other mothers came by and began to talk. 
Responding to something a boy had said earlier, she wanted us to agree that 
displaying one's sex parts and having sex in public for spiritual and 
theological reasons can never be equated to pornography. (People looking for 
that can go to the "Heatseek" browser, not here:
http://tinyurl.com/hmpn2 ) Or, for that matter, child abuse. Of course not. 
From the age of 11 I've been having sex in front of Mom and my friends 
knowing they would keep me safe, and the notion that my having a penis in my 
mouth or a boy's tongue in my vagina could be anything but sacred and lovely 
is unthinkable tome. On the matter of abuse, I need only point out that in 
the years when we lived at Mom's Friend's House and had sex subject to 
specific guidelines (same-age partners, feminist rules including the "right" 
to pursue orgasm and the sole right to take the initiative and so on) abuse 
was impossible.

We know of course that few girls in the outside world would think it 
appropriate to fondle and kiss a penis in the presence of others, and that 
there is a social consensus that sex is inappropriate for pubescent teens 
or, some would say, anyone under 16. But social facts, long ago documented 
by such wise researchers from the time of Kinsey, give the lie to such 
pretense. It is truer and more godly to admit that we love to see others 
having orgasm, we love to see dripping semen, and there is no more beautiful 
sight than a penis brought to arousal and welcomed inside a girl's body. It 
is both natural and right to grow up seeing parents and friends having 
ultimate fun and viewing sex as homage to God and as biblical fulfillment, 
to know that from the first signs of puberty one is invited to the ranks of 
the Ministry, to evangelize and to spread the Gospel by sharing ecstasy and 
receiving Holy Communion through semen. The lessons given include the right 
of anyone and the obligation of a child to decline inappropriate behavior 
and to repel unwanted advances and the knowledge that one should wait until 
physical and emotional development and natural and irresistible urges make 
sex appropriate.

----------

Mom and I left the Old House not long after to live for a year on a 
houseboat. During that year I become more and more obsessed with sex, 
something which Mom said was normal for my age. I spent that year seducing 
pubescent boys I would meet down by the pier. Not a lot of them really: I 
would said a couple of dozen over the year. Later Mom would say that she saw 
no harm in it, and that she rather enjoyed the times she saw me playing with 
a boy's virgin penis and putting it in my mouth and bringing the boy to 
sexual awareness. But in time I learned certain fundamental principles, 
rules that I found written in stone at Mom's Friend's House:

-- The optimum time for a boy to be seduced is when, regardless of how far 
along he is in puberty, his hormonal and emotional situation leads him to be 
preoccupied with sex.

-- You should never have sex with anyone until you have been "properly 
introduced", meaning that at the very least the girl should take her time 
before making her move.

-- You should not take advantage of someone else's naivety for your own 
cynical satisfaction. This, again, refers to the appropriateness of the 
liaison (same-age, mutual consent) and the physical and mental readiness of 
the boy.

-- You should not try to induce a sexual urge in a target partner when none 
is present. (There is a corollary to this, and it has to do with the 
fundamentalist Christian and Islamic notion that homosexuality is a 
perversion that can be cured rather than a physiological, chemical or 
biological tendency or fact. Recent studies relating to younger brothers 
supply more questions than answers, but they do provide some insight on 
this.)

I did not, until I was nearly 15, confide in any girl and very few boys 
(beyond the aforementioned) outside our own circle. The fact is that any 
girl who reaches puberty without a childhood steeped in our culture will 
probably not comport herself well; and that is true, albeit to a lesser 
extent, to boys. This mattered less for those over 15, and 15 -- actually 
15-1/2 -- was the normal minimum age at which kids were encouraged to attend 
our nude dance parties. (There were some younger ones, like the Big Breasted 
Girl, who was 13. But they were exceptions. Many were family members -- 
younger siblings -- of one of the regulars. Or a house guest, or otherwise a 
special case. The problem is that a 13-year-old really doesn't have much to 
say to a 16-year-old, and certainly wasn't allowed to have sexual relations 
with someone that much older.) I've written about siblings, including the 
cases of boys who recruited their sisters because in general (i.e., unless 
his mom was somehow involved with our faith, as by being a refugee from the 
Children of God or a sexually-liberal commune) a boy couldn't attend a 
either a nude dance party or any other teen social event chez nous unless he 
brought a girl. Whom he would then trade off, since incest was verboten. It 
was not all that remarkable to see a boy watching his sister in her first 
sexual encounter, although I have to say that sisters (the ones who 
sponsored their younger brothers, for example) showed more equanimity at the 
sight of a brother's first ejaculation into a girl than the other way 
'round. Not a few boys assumed that their sister would be embarrassed by 
their erection and ejaculation -- a fear that was only overcome by lust and 
the requirement in most cases that a boy be sponsored by a girl, whether or 
not he would, or could, have sex with her. As it happens, girls are rarely 
so naive. And (quite apart from the many families where sex was conducted in 
the open) almost every boy had, in fact, been seen more than once by his 
sister with his penis in a state of erection. And more than once I have seen 
a virgin sister unhesitatingly and unshyly reach for a penis to play with it 
and then, suddenly, put it in her mouth and -- even -- to bring it to 
ejaculation. They knew less, curiously, about their own bodies and had to 
rely on the good sense of their partner to be positioned properly and have 
vagina and clitoris made accessible to lips and tongue. I like to think that 
every girl at our place reached a climax on her first try, although I'm sure 
that's not true. But most surely did. And all, I think, had fun trying -- 
all the more if a brother was watching because she could try to make him 
uncomfortable and even to feel guilt in the process. Much as we knew that 
dispensing with our hymen made us freer and better and happier, many boys 
persist in the myth that there's some sort of sin involved, some loss of 
status and stature.

(The severe limits on unaccompanied boys preserved the family-friendly 
character and quality of our relationships. It meant that while we led sexy 
lives, sex neither led nor controlled them but was for us, rather, a medium 
of communication with God. The other point was that for kids under 16 
parental consent and/or involvement was absolutely necessary. Without these 
rules it is doubtful that we could have stayed so long beneath the radar. 
With them, religious freedom came into play since the other rules such as 
same-age and informed consent meant that there was neither abuse nor 
regret.)

That said, the majority of our friends enjoyed sexual liberty because their 
moms (and/or their dads) believed in it and had made them comfortable with 
the notion that they would start to engage in public sex as soon as they 
presented pubic hair. In virtually every case that meant what outsiders 
might call promiscuous sex but which our faith demands as a means of 
witnessing, of being a missionary. The essence of flirty fishing. There were 
exceptions: the two 11-1/2-year-olds at Mom's Friend's House
http://tinyurl.com/qc98z They're now much older than 12 and still together, 
and still happily showing off at mutual oral sex and otherwise. Those of us 
who saw them beginning their sex lives -- penis and vagina still cute and 
growing -- have to be heartened by their continued devotion and fun. But 
this doesn't at all detract from the fact that such precocious pairings of 
childhood sweethearts are very rare. Most pubescent and adolescent kids must 
be free to experiment, to change partners every day as we did, and to learn 
about the differences in personal sexual response, the differences in 
penises which not only look different but respond differently. And the 
differences in character, since physical response (and physical attributes) 
are far from the only important aspects of lovemaking, of romance and 
passion, arousal and orgasm.

Obviously my approach to sex, as to other things, is greatly influence by 
Mom's experience, from the time she was recruited into the Children of God 
through to the present. Sex -- while the central subject of this series of 
essays on my growing up -- was only a small part of our lives. But the 
operative word is "central": the centrality of sex for us is undeniable, and 
that is because religion was so important to us (as it is to most of middle 
America) and our religion was (as Moses David put it more than once) a sexy 
religion. Sex did not directly concern us, and our involvement was limited 
to satisfying our curiosity. Still, we learned what the place of sex was in 
our existence and what it would be in our mature lives. This did not mean 
that we were in a hurry to grow up. Not until we were on the threshold of 
puberty, at which time for most of us sex became an obsession.

I have described how I would, when little, see Mom play with a penis and how 
I would more or less ignore her, at least once my initial curiosity was 
satisfied. Of course the existence of semen, and the way it would spurt out 
of a penis and into Mom's mouth was fascinating, but somehow I knew I should 
not get too close. Or if I was close, I should stare from behind a chair or 
a door, etc. All I can say is that I knew that Mom's tongue would flit over 
and around the head of a penis and I knew that somehow her rubbing it with 
her lips would make it magically erupt and that a penis could equally be 
excited and made to erupt in her vagina. Mom would always end the stories 
she read to me about princesses and frogs and princes with the real-life 
ending: that prince and princess undressed each other, and prince kissed 
princess all over and excited her vagina and princess made love to prince's 
penis. And that they exchanged bodily fluids. So I knew that these facts, 
while public, were still in some way secret and that they were discussed 
only within the group that followed our culture. And, in all of those 
occasions, I never felt Mom was neglecting me in favor of boyfriend and 
penis. She would, after all, look over at me from time to time, and smile in 
recognition. And she early on took the trouble to explain to me both the 
biology and the necessity of sex.

Not every little girl (or boy for that matter) observed with as much 
equanimity as I her mother making love to a penis. Many, maybe most, girls 
refused to watch. There was at least one occasion when even I was taken 
aback, and that was when Mom was strolling about with a guy whose penis 
looked something like John Holmes's. I couldn't imagine how she was going to 
get that penis inside her, but somehow she did. But I was looking away. I 
couldn't bear to see her face distorted while she had just the end of it in 
her mouth, and I didn't want to see what else she was going to try to 
accomplish. Later she insisted to me that size wasn't the point, that 
foreplay and oral sex were more important. (For those who disagree and who 
love the look and feel of an oversized penis I can only suggest that you ask 
the man who owns one:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/172601243.html ) She pointed to a 
teenage girl licking the head of a boy's penis -- incredibly stiff and 
erect, and the boy's face had that far-off look you see when he's about to 
ejaculate -- and said, correctly as I would later find out, that the 
pleasure of orgasm is more related to technique than to biology. Also that 
the most beautiful penises, for most girls, are eminently "normal" ones, 
circumcised, nicely sculpted, of even dimension (although I came to like 
penises which are slightly more enlarged towards the tip and the head 
perfectly round). Most of what is happening, Mom said, you can't see: it's 
in the brain and the glands and the internal muscles. And so it is.

(Mom's Friend was adamant about circumcision. But then, as I've pointed out 
in another essay, aside from Muslims and Jews, circumcision is largely 
female-driven, the female preference for the circumcised penis being 
supported by medical fact. I saw a circumcision once: anytime a "refugee 
mother" sought to bring her son to live with us for any length of time he'd 
have to be circumcised and it was usually done by one of Mom's Friend's 
doctor friends. As long as the boy was pre-pubescent it wasn't a big deal 
and it was rather nice over the next couple of years to watch that penis 
growing up and then having sex.)

Mom said that almost the best part of sex is the anticipation of it. That's 
why she got so excited when seminal fluid would leak out of the tip of her 
partner's penis. She would ostentatiously lick off a drop, or put it on her 
finger and touch the finger to her tongue and smile. The first time I saw a 
boy excited that way by my body I got excited too, and right away I knew 
what Mom meant. It's not just that the fluid is delicious: every girl wants 
to be needed, and to think that her breasts and body have excited the boy in 
front of her beyond his ability to resist. That's the point when, especially 
if he hasn't done it before or often, to get him to kiss your vagina and to 
learn how lovely it is for him to explore your vagina with his tongue.

Whatever hesitation I had in being right up close to the penis making love 
to Mom did not apply when it was a matter of adolescents at sex. Or maybe it 
was something Mom had said: I remember her telling me "there's nothing like 
the stiff erection of a teenage boy -- it never seems to relax, to go away; 
it's fun to look at and fun to play with". And just as when I was 
babysitting for the 11-1/2 year olds mentioned above I showed them my 
post-sex vagina and let them touch it if they wanted, older girls (meaning 
girls of 12 or 13 or 14) seemingly encouraged me to be near when they kissed 
and sucked on a penis, or put it in their vagina and made love. Years later 
I would copy them when younger girls and boys watched me playing with a 
penis: I would stroke it with my tongue, explore every ridge and cranny, and 
when it ejaculated make a celebration of it so that the spurting semen could 
be seen as much as possible. Maybe having the opportunity to watch 
adolescents making love, even more so than having seen Mom from a distance, 
was the reason why I always knew, from the youngest age, that at puberty I 
would be playing with penises and kissing and loving them. I knew, somehow, 
that it would be giggling fun. Just not quite yet: not until I grew breasts 
that would, in some unexplainable way, want to make boys bring their penises 
close to me. Soon enough I was 11 and then 12, and by that time I was making 
love often, once or twice a week. And at 14 I was at Mom's Friend's House 
and at least every other day, and sometimes twice in one day, some boy and I 
would be having sex fun. It's all recorded in my diary -- every one of them.

As I read the diaries today what strikes me is how I -- we -- appreciated 
penis and vagina as icons of holiness and beauty and the urgency as well as 
the vicarious pleasure with which we stared at a friend's vagina as a penis 
moved between its lips. Or the blessing we attributed to traces of semen 
leaking from a friend's lips. For this reason I did not wish to have sex 
alone: like the age-old question of the sound a tree makes when it falls 
unheard in the forest, I thought that orgasm needed to be verified and so 
magnified by my sharing it with Mom and with my friends. This, of course, 
was the principle of girls' coming-out parties and indeed of our nude dance 
parties.

Within our ethic, kids tend to have their first sexual experience between 
the ages of 12 and 15. If a kid was not likely to have sex before age 15, he 
or she would not have stayed around. And the late-blooming group consisted 
mainly of those who lived far enough away that they came rarely: since they 
couldn't drive they depended upon being brought over for one of the "holiday 
camp" periods, or maybe a dance party, and so on. Inevitably once the oldest 
sibling in a family reached 16 and could drive, that one would bring over 
the others. So younger siblings tended to join us at an earlier age, and 
girls, for instance, might have a defloration party at 13 or so. An April 
2004 essay addressed the issue of brother and sister watching each other's 
orgasm
http://tinyurl.com/s2srk

In my earlier writings I have tried to include a psychoanalytic description 
of brothers' and fathers' attitudes towards sisters' and daughters' 
responses to a proffered penis. I'm not going to duplicate that here; you 
can find links to most of what I've written at
http://angelfire.com/co4/cobil
But in fact if you count all the nude dance parties, for a brother and 
sister to have sex in tandem, perhaps each with the best friend of the 
other, was not unusual. And the vicarious ecstasy all around was almost a 
double orgasm for each of the four. Outsiders have asked me how a brother 
could be so delighted at the sight of a penis -- perhaps his friend's penis, 
in his sister's mouth with semen dripping messily down her chin. To ask the 
question is to reveal total incomprehension of sex-based religion. For us 
the presentation of his penis by a boy who has been properly introduced 
cannot be an act of aggression nor in any way demeaning or intimidating. It 
is close to an act of prayer. And a girl or boy sitting in a chair or on the 
floor with legs apart, her or his sex parts inviting inspection, is 
expressing, with total naturalness and even innocence, the public nature of 
that religion within (only) our close-knit circle.

----------

Anyone who has followed this series of essays from its origin will know how 
the culture I have just described came to pass: that Mom and her friends had 
been recruited into the Children of God, that they were quickly initiated 
into sex as an instrument of religion. And after that, into sex as a means 
of evangelizing and recruiting for the faith.

Sex lost its personal and private nature, and became instead a means of 
communion with God and witnessing to faith. Only within offshoots of the CoG 
did public sex become customary, although in at least some Church homes 
pubescent and adolescent kids certainly had sex with others -- peers and 
parents -- enjoying the sight.

Mom and Mom's Friend were among those who, shocked at the abuse of 
pre-pubescent children, set up new prerequisites concerning physical 
development, comparability of age, true consent, female priority and 
control, and a theology of semen as communion. It is in this environment 
that I grew up and learned my potential for faith and for fun.

These essays are based on my childhood diaries, where I recorded snippets of 
what I was doing and my opinions of those I was doing it with. For the 
purpose of the essays events may be rearranged and embellished, but the main 
point of my writing -- to defend our way of life and the value to children 
of understanding, and from the moment of puberty participating, in sex not 
just as fun but as wholesome and holy -- I think is clear.

Lest you get, Dear Reader, the wrong idea, let me repeat what I have said 
many times: with the exception of that crazy year when we lived on the 
houseboat, no boy ever could approach me, nor I him, unless we were properly 
introduced.

Love,
Carol

_________________________________________________________________
Use your PC to make calls at very low rates 
https://voiceoam.pcs.v2s.live.com/partnerredirect.aspx

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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