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From: John Aitek <arkayz_bible@yahoo.com.au>
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Subject: {ASSM} Pareto Efficient Child Sex {The Arkayz Bible} (Mg* ped rom oral bd ws)
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Date: Mon, 17 Apr 2006 16:10:03 -0400
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<1st attachment, "pareto-efficient.txt" begin>

This story may be copied verbatim to other sites for profit or 
otherwise. No permission from the author is needed.

PARETO EFFICIENT CHILD SEX

By The Arkayz Bible

I sat in my room and stared at the wall. It was the start of December 
when Christmas was on everyone's mind. My parents didn't believe in 
vacation or Christmas, so I was in my room all alone trying to keep 
absolutely still so that no noise could disrupt the sound I heard from 
outside--the sound of neighborhood children laughing and playing on the 
streets. There were many kids in my neighborhood. Although I knew what 
these children sounded like, I didn't know what they looked like. I 
could have gone outside and looked at these children, but I didn't want 
anyone to see me staring at children lest they label me a pedophile. 
There was, however, one child in the neighborhood I'd seen. She was a 
very pretty little girl whose name I didn't yet know. Not only did I 
not know her name but I also didn't know what she sounded like. Yet I 
saw this girl at least once every weekday. 
 
I don't know how I became a pedophile. Sometimes I try to explain it to 
myself, but unfortunately it's one of those things you can feel but 
cannot explain. I've read psychological explanations on the Internet, 
but many of the online explanations seem too vague and weird to be 
taken seriously. All I know is that for a while I never really cared 
about children, and then one day when I discovered the existence of 
stories on the Internet about little children having sex, all of a 
sudden I kept thinking about what it would feel like to have sex with 
them. They say that people turn to the "hard stuff" after they get 
tired of the "soft stuff." Druggies try soft drugs like marijuana 
before going on to harder drugs like heroin. This is true for drugs as 
it is for pornography. I used to like looking at "normal" porn, 
pictures of adult women showing their vaginas and/or their breasts. 
After that I was exposed to different and sometimes more extreme 
versions of pornography and instead of my sexual tastes dictating which 
type of porn I looked at, it seemed as if which type of porn was 
available dictated which types of porn I enjoyed. When I was about ten 
or eleven, I regularly made fun of gay people, but today I masturbate 
while thinking about little boys and sometimes older teenage boys. I'm 
not aroused by hairy old men though.  
 
I often wonder what it's like to have a penis in my mouth. I wonder 
what it would feel like, what it would smell like, and how it would 
taste. I have a vague idea based on the smell and feel of my own penis, 
but it's being able to taste someone else's penis that interested me. 
Even though I have an attraction for little boys that I cannot explain, 
I still find little girls more appealing. 
 
I'm eighteen now. I recently graduated from high school but I still 
live with my parents. I'm in the process of applying for universities, 
but I'm anxious about whether certain colleges will accept or reject 
me, so I prefer not to think about that issue. Being a grown-up is so 
scary. There's so much to do, so much to worry about. I would do 
anything to be a child again. 
 
My name's Philip. Today I'm at home surfing the Internet. There's so 
much on the Internet. It seems like something is happening online all 
the time. I've had the Internet for about five years now. I told my 
parents I wanted an Internet connection to study, but that was just an 
excuse to look at porn. I became interested in porn ever since one of 
my friends at school showed me some porn that he printed out at his 
home. I can never forget the first time I saw pornography. For the rest 
of the day I could not think of anything but the pornography and I knew 
after my first taste of pornography that I had to get another fix or I 
would not be able to handle the cravings. The Internet gave me a way 
that I could not only satisfy my demand for pornography but also my 
demand for social interaction. I liked talking to other people on the 
Internet, mainly in chat rooms and on message boards. 
 
On the Internet, I often switch from one obsession to another. One year 
I'm interested in Harry Potter and then the next year I'm interested in 
computer games. I go to one online community, get to now everyone 
there, get sick of them, and then move on to another online community. 
My latest obsession is with all the pedophile stories I've found 
online. I go to the sites and download as many stories as possible, 
making a mental note to myself to read them all later. Just the thought 
of having copies on my hard disk keeps me satisfied. Not only do I read 
these pedophile stories but I also rate them. I put all my favorite 
stories in one folder. I catalogue them according to genre and personal 
rating. 
 
---- 
 
Feeling the pangs of hunger in my belly, I put the computer on standby 
and went downstairs to get some food. I was home alone. It was 12 noon. 
I often woke up this late when I had nothing to do, no school, no work, 
no nothing. There's so much light outside. I grabbed a microwave 
hamburger from the freezer, heated it up, and went back to my bedroom 
upstairs. 
 
Now that high school was over I spent a lot of time by myself in my 
bedroom upstairs. I'm glad my parents allowed me to keep a computer in 
my room as well as allowing me to buy a lock for the door. This comes 
in handy whenever I wanted to masturbate. I've been masturbating for 
about eight years now and I don't think my parents know anything. My 
parents never talk to me about sex. They don't ask, and I don't tell. 
Whenever one of my parents tried to bring up the topic of sex, usually 
with a timid introductory topic like the topic of girlfriends, the 
discussion usually ends quickly because of how awkward we feel. I think 
every family has a unique culture. Some families are more conservative 
while others are more liberal. The topic of sex has never been brought 
up in our family, and any mention of it makes everyone nervous. I do, 
however, suspect that maybe my mom knows that I masturbate. I usually 
masturbate in bed at night, and when I'm done I usually just leave the 
semen on my penis and pull up my underwear and pajama pants. As a 
result my underwear usually has semen stains all over them. Even after 
washing, these semen stains don't come off easily. Surely my mom has 
noticed. 
 
I'm a loner. It's not something I like to admit to myself or anyone 
else, but it's something I cannot deny. I used to have friends in high 
school, but ever since high school finished I never had the motivation 
to keep my old friendships going. If I'm not forced to see people 
regularly for a long time there is little chance I'll remain friends 
with them. I tried to make friends over the Internet but that never 
worked. It's just not the same. 
 
Every day is just the same for me. I wake up late, eat lunch, and go 
porn surfing. At three in the afternoon I'd look out the window to 
watch a little girl walk by. Then I'd do more porn surfing, eat dinner, 
maybe watch a bit of TV at night, and then I went back to sleep, only 
to wake up late tomorrow and repeat the process. Sometimes, at night, 
I'd sit in bed and think about everything. It's so quiet at night. 
During the day I often feel like I want to be where all the action is, 
but at night it seems as if there is no action anywhere, so I focus on 
myself because, since I feel like I'm the only conscious being on 
Earth, I am the center of action. Both my parents work, so throughout 
the day I'm very alone. 
 
Although I take great pleasure in seeing videos of females being raped 
and reading stories about little boys and girls in pain, I don't 
consider myself a bad person. I feel as if I'm a genuine guy. Sometimes 
I'm able to do what I tell myself to do. This is when I have self-
control. But other times what I do is controlled not by what I tell 
myself to do but by how I feel. For example, while masturbating, at the 
peak of sexual excitement, I've done many weird things like stick my 
middle finger in my anus and then put this feces-stained finger in my 
mouth. Sucking on my feces-stained finger while masturbating makes me 
more sexually excited. But this sexual excitement is short-term. After 
I ejaculate, I run into the bathroom and wash my mouth out, especially 
if I had just munched on a big chunk of poo. This may be how it is with 
my pedophile instincts. There is another force within me over which I 
have no control. Sexual excitement may motivate me to eat my poo, but 
after my sex drive has subsided, disgust sets in. Similarly, sexual 
excitement may motivate me to rape, but after my sex drive has 
subsided, perhaps guilt and regret would set in. 
 
I used to have so many friends when I was little. I had male and female 
friends. Whenever I think back to my childhood my memories are filled 
with warmth and happiness, which contrasts against how plain, sterile, 
and humorless my life seems at the moment. 
 
I think one reason why I like little children so much is because they 
are so good and nice. There's so much cynicism in adults, so much 
anger, rage, and hate. I am often at the receiving end of these 
negative emotions, and once I receive these negative emotions I usually 
pass it or copy it on to others, which means that negative emotion 
spreads around like a virus. There is so much darkness is this world, 
and little children are like candles in this darkness. The light of 
innocence overcomes the darkness that has infected the world. A 
pedophile like me tries to feel the warmth of this light, to seek this 
innocence to escape from the darkness that threatens to engulf the 
adult world. This is the desire of the pedophile: he or she seeks 
warmth from the light of innocence. The child molester, on the other 
hand, tries to extinguish this light by taking the child's innocence. 
The flame on a candle can warm people, but once this flame is 
extinguished the world becomes a colder place. 
 
When I was at school or when I had a part-time job, I wanted to be a 
winner. To be a winner in this world you have to be a machine. You have 
to take on the characteristics of machines--make yourself numb, just do 
what you have to do no matter what. And you must never give up. That's 
what your parents and your teachers tell you--successful ones at least. 
Somewhere along the way though I didn't want to be a machine anymore, 
and instead of training myself to become more and more machine-like, I 
sought escape. 
 
I know for a fact that my attraction to children is not exclusively 
sexual because I gain so much satisfaction just looking at fully 
clothed children. I smile when I see a child being a child. It warms my 
heart whenever I hear the melodic babbling of a little girl. Women in 
public always smile at children, but I never smile at children in 
public because I'm afraid. In private I would love to play with a 
child, but in public I suppress such urges. 
 
---- 
 
I looked at my watch. It was three o'clock. I stopped looking at the 
computer monitor and walked all the way to the bedroom window, which 
looked over a park next door. I always observed the park at three in 
the afternoon because usually at this time a little girl would walk 
down the path in the park by herself. She was a cute little girl, about 
seven or eight years of age. She had long blonde-brown hair and was 
about three-point-five feet tall. 
 
Right on schedule I saw her walking along the path near my fence. She 
walked slowly but that was because her legs were short. She wasn't a 
focused walker. Often she was easily amused by things along the path. 
About a week ago when I spied on her, she found a raccoon and started 
playing with it for about ten to fifteen minutes before carrying it 
away with her. 
 
I saw this girl very often but I still knew very little about her. 
Today when I looked at this little girl, I started to wonder why she 
was walking alone. Wouldn't her mother or father be worried? Where did 
she come from? Did she just finish school? More importantly, where did 
she live? 
 
For about three days now I've thought about meeting her, intercepting 
her along her walking path and then, I don't know...talk to her, I guess. 
I'd love to rape her, just like in the stories I read online, but I was 
scared of the consequences. I was also worried about hurting the 
precious little girl. I wish I could rape her and then turn back time 
so she wouldn't know she was raped. 
 
Since she seemed to like animals a lot, maybe I could introduce her to 
a cat. Problem is I don't have a cat. I wanted one when I was little, 
but my parents don't like pets. Perhaps I could go to the pet store one 
day and buy a cat. But maybe she liked dogs better. 
 
---- 
 
Dad came home at five. (Mom usually finished much later since she was a 
CEO.) He was cooking a microwave burger when I came downstairs to the 
kitchen and asked him if I could go to the mall. 
 
"Why do you want to go to the mall?" Dad asked. "You want to see that 
new Steven Spielberg movie?" 
 
"No, Dad, I was thinking...how about we get a kitten?" 
 
Dad smiled. "You know what your mom thinks about cats." 
 
My mom hated cats. That was why I was speaking to my dad. He was more 
open to such things. 
 
"I'll tell you what." Dad took out his burger from the microwave. "I'll 
buy you a cat, Phil, but only if you promise not to let it defecate all 
over the house. Make sure you potty train it well." 
 
---- 
 
When I woke up at one p.m. on Monday, I felt something scratching on my 
leg. I flinched violently before realizing that Dad had bought me a 
little kitten yesterday. I slept with the kitten but didn't have sex 
with it or anything. The kitten was a male, so it had a penis, and its 
anus was far too small for sexual penetration. The thought of sucking 
on the cat's penis didn't sound too attractive because of the fear of 
getting hair in my mouth. I did, however, rub against the kitten last 
night, and I enjoyed having a warm-blooded, living, breathing creature 
caressed on my erect penis as I lied in bed. Last night was also 
pleasant because I didn't feel as alone as I usually did at night. 
 
The cat's name is Elron. That's the spelling I had engraved on the 
kitty's collar even though the proper spelling was "L. Ron" because the 
kitty's previous owner was a devout Scientologist. The owner didn't 
castrate his cats, so one day one of them came back pregnant, and when 
the babies came out there were too many of them for the owner to 
handle, so off to the pet store they went. 
 
I chose Elron out of all the other cats on display because he had nice 
soft and blunt teeth. The other cats at the pet shop had scary vampire-
like fangs. If I was going to sleep with my kitty I didn't want his 
teeth puncturing my penis. 
 
Right after I woke up I had a shower and went online for about half an 
hour, reading the news to see what was going on. Nothing much was 
happening. Feeling my stomach rumbling like there was an animal in 
there, I went downstairs to get something to eat. I found in the 
freezer some Coco Pops and Coke, a perfect breakfast combination. When 
I walked back to the kitchen table with the cereal, milk, and soft 
drink, I saw a box--a plain and ordinary box on the kitchen table with 
a note near it. I read it: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PHILIP. HOPE YOU LIKE THE 
PRESENT. FROM MOM AND DAD. 
 
Today was my birthday. I had totally forgotten. Some of my high school 
friends were surprised at how often I forgot my birthday, but I just 
don't see what's so special about birthdays. After all, it's just 
another day. 
 
Inside the box was a baseball, a baseball bat, and some baseball 
gloves. I wasn't a huge fan of baseball or anything, but I didn't mind 
it. Baseball and soccer were the only two sports I was really any good 
at, and my parents knew this. But just because I was good at baseball 
and soccer it doesn't mean I liked them. There was no chance I'd become 
a professional athlete. Even though these people do get paid a lot, I 
don't think I have the energy to become a well-paid sports star. 
 
After changing out of my pajamas, I ran outside to the backyard and 
went straight for the fence, over which I threw the baseball bat and 
ball. I grabbed my kitten and dropped him over the fence, optimistic 
that he'd be okay because of the widely known idea that cats always 
land on their feet. I then climbed over the fence and entered the park 
next door. 
 
I loved living next to a park. Throughout my childhood I played at the 
park very often. There were playgrounds at the park, and one of the 
things I remember was when I played hide-and-seek with a bunch of the 
neighborhood kids. This park was not an ordinary park--it was like a 
massive boutique garden, filled with hundreds of species of plants and 
trees. There were green hills where people took picnics and ponds where 
little ducklings lived, ducklings that people often liked to feed. 
 
As it turned out, I was pretty disappointed with Elron. He didn't fetch 
the ball like I hoped he would when I hit it far away. I suddenly 
remembered that dogs liked to fetch balls or sticks, not cats. Elron's 
mouth was far too small to fit a baseball. The kitten just walked 
around and, after a while, decided to sleep under the sun. 
 
I spent about twenty minutes hitting the ball straight up into the air 
and then hitting it back up again as it came back down. I tried to see 
how many times I could hit the ball back into the air before it 
eventually hit the grass. My record was thirty-four. Interestingly, 
it's surprisingly hard to hit a baseball right up into the air. 
 
After five more minutes I gave up trying to beat my record of thirty-
four. Looking up at the sky all the time made my eyes feel tired 
because of how exposed they were to sunlight.  
 
I walked back to the house. Elron followed me. 
 
When I got to the fence I threw the baseball and the baseball bat over 
the fence. I heard the bat thumping on the grass on the other side. I 
turned around to do the same to Elron (throw him over) only to realize 
that Elron was with that little girl who walked by this path at three 
o'clock every weekday. I looked at my watch and noticed that it was 
five past three. 
 
The little girl was kneeling down to the kitten and, with her long 
smooth arms extended, she stroked Elron's back. 
 
I walked up to the little girl. "Elron likes playing baseball," I said, 
watching the little girl's face turn towards me. 
 
"Is it your cat?" she asked me in a soft voice. "Is her name Elron?" 
 
"His name," I said. "It's a boy kitten." 
 
"Why do you call him Elron?" 
 
"His previous owner was a Scientologist."  
 
I could tell from her silence and her subtle eye movements that she had 
no idea what I was talking about. 
 
"My name's Philip," I said. "What's yours?" 
 
"Karen." 
 
Karen stopped stroking the kitty. I had been kneeling down to her 
level, but now I had my butt on the dirt. It was soft and moist dirt, 
and after a while Karen sat down opposite me. With her fingers she 
fiddled with the ends of her hair, which were about a foot long. She 
wore a checkered yellow and white dress, which looked so beautiful 
because it complemented her dark blondish hair. She looked like a 
sunflower. 
 
"Do you live around here?" I asked. 
 
"I live over there." She pointed in the direction she was walking. Her 
pointing wasn't helpful. It only gave me a general idea of where she 
lived. 
 
"How was school today?" I noticed a small schoolbag on her back. 
 
"My teacher gave me a star." 
 
"A star?" 
 
She extended her right hand out towards me. On her wrist was a golden 
star-shaped sticker. I used this star as an excuse to touch her. My 
left hand gently grabbed her hands and with fingers on my right hand I 
rubbed against her wrists, feeling the sticker and the skin closely 
surrounding the sticker. What surprised me was how cool her skin was, 
as if they were washed with icy water. She was a fresh girl. 
 
"Your mom and dad let you walk home from school by yourself?" 
 
She nodded. "I have to go home now," she said, looking a little guilty. 
 
"That's fine." I got back up again. "I'll, uh, I'll see you around 
then." 
 
She didn't smile or wave goodbye but just walked away with the same 
speed she usually walked. If she walked quickly that would be a sign 
that she was trying to get away from me maybe because I frightened her. 
But the fact that she didn't seem to be walking too fast suggested that 
she genuinely needed to get home--maybe because her parents expected 
her home at a particular time. Did she cancel her conversation with me 
because she hated me? I didn't know, and this bothered me somewhat. 
 
For the rest of that afternoon I couldn't stop thinking about Karen. In 
her mind I could always see her--those sweet, moist lips, those gray-
blue eyes, and those smooth and slightly chubby arms with virgin skin 
so golden and fresh. She was like the small girls I used to go to 
school with when I was little. 
 
That night, while I was in my bed masturbating, I thought about her. 
She was crying. Those tears blurred her eyes and formed beads of liquid 
on her cheeks. I don't know why she was crying. Maybe one of her 
parents had screamed at her. I held her face, a ball of warm blood. 
With her in my arms, whatever troubled her would dissipate. I brought 
her face closer to mine and felt the heat from her sadness radiate 
towards my face. Through this transfer of heat I could feel my face 
absorbing the sadness from her. My tongue licked against the little 
girl's cheeks, her tears tasted both sweet and salty. It was at that 
moment, when I tasted her fluids, when our heat so freely flowed 
between our bodies, when the surface of our naked skins made contact, 
when we were both connected...the hand on my erect penis intensified 
the pumping action and I reached a climax. I ejaculated heavily and the 
base of my penis was now a mess of semen intricately trapped in a 
forest of curly pubic hair. 
 
It was after this climax that I felt depressingly empty again. I wished 
I hadn't ejaculated so early so that maybe I could have enjoyed the 
little girl for a little while longer. I directed my head against the 
pillow and tried to fall asleep. I had nothing else to live for, so 
hopefully my sex drive would recover by the time I woke up tomorrow. 
Based on experience, however, it usually did. 
 
---- 
 
Mom woke me up at 12 noon. I was surprised because I expected her at 
work. She told me she didn't have to be at the office till two. 
 
At the kitchen table, I ate breakfast (or lunch, maybe) with my mom. 
She seemed keen on catching up on what was going on in my life. She 
always did this. On her mind was Elron. 
 
"I knew I couldn't stop you from getting a cat." She smiled. "I 
remembered you wanted one ever since you were five." She sat silently 
for a while and looked at me. "You're such a tall boy now, aren't you? 
How tall are you?" 
 
"A little under six feet." 
 
"That's pretty good for an eighteen year old. You've still got a bit of 
growth in you. You're such a man. What do you have in mind when you 
grow up, Philip? What are you going to do?" 
 
I shrugged. "Get a job, get married, have kids..." 
 
"You want kids?" Mom flashed me a smile. "Since when were you the type 
who wanted kids?" 
 
"I don't know. I just..." 
 
Mom interrupted. "You know, where I work, most of the men don't have 
children. They're saving that until after the peak of their careers. Be 
careful when you have children. It makes you look soft. People don't 
like soft men. It might cost you your job. Women in particular don't 
like soft men. Don't listen to what women tell you." 
 
"Isn't Dad soft?" 
 
"I don't mind soft guys," said Mom, "but other women are not like me. 
Women who achieve little have a greater need to feel dominated. Men who 
achieve little have a greater need to dominate." 
 
I remained silent for a while, munching on my Coco Pops. 
 
"How was the present?" asked Mom. "You know, the baseball equipment?" 
 
"It's good. You should see how long I can keep the ball in the air with 
the bat." 
 
Mom looked at me confused. 
 
I spoke. "I keep hitting the baseball into the air with the baseball 
bat until the ball finally hits the ground. My record is thirty-four 
hits." 
 
"Is that it? I think I can do better than that." 
 
"No you can't, Mom." 
 
Mom quickly finished her orange juice. "Let's go outside and find out!" 
 
As it turned out, Mom could easily keep the ball in the air with the 
baseball bat. She had been doing so for about an hour and I had lost 
count of how many hits she had made. She must have played lots of 
baseball in university. 
 
"This is get boring," I said. "Hit the ball to me." 
 
As the ball came down, Mom swung the bat back and prepared to smack it 
harder than usual. The bat hit the ball loudly. As I looked up into the 
sky, my eyes were almost blinded by the sun. The ball went high up into 
the sky. Because of the sun, I couldn't see a thing. The ball then 
landed on the ground a meter away from me. 
 
"You didn't catch it," said my mom as she walked up to me. Her mobile 
phone started ringing. I had a feeling Mom was needed at the office, so 
I probably wouldn't see for a while. My suspicions were confirmed. Mom 
apologized to me and quickly left, leaving me alone. She tried to make 
me happy by telling me she would buy me something when she came back. 
 
I received the baseball bat from my mom and looked down at the ball on 
the ground. As mom walked away, I noticed that I wasn't alone after 
all. Elron was with me. He had followed me all the way to the park from 
the house and now he was chewing on the ball, trying to swallow it. The 
ball was far too big for the little kitty's mouth. 
 
Grabbing the baseball and throwing it up, I hit the ball about 10 
meters away. Elron quickly darted towards the expected landing spot to 
be near the ball. The kitten wasn't able to grab the ball with its 
small mouth, so when the ball landed Elron simply tapped on the ball 
with his little legs. I had to walk over to grab the ball myself. 
 
Mom was nowhere to be seen now, the whole park seemed empty, and the 
clouds were starting to darken, signaling the coming of the afternoon. 
Elron must have sensed that I was going back home because he started 
following me. I decided to try one more time to see if this kitten was 
capable of fetching a ball. I threw the ball up, took a massive swing 
with the baseball bat, and smashed the ball towards my house, careful 
not to aim it too close to the house unless I hit any windows. To my 
surprise, Elron bolted in the direction of the ball as if he were jet-
propelled. I was surprised at how such a small little creature could 
run so fast. Elron ran so fast I could barely see him as he blurred 
into the grass. The ball landed in thick shrubs somewhere near the 
fence of my house, and that was where Elron was heading. 
 
It took me a while to walk to the shrubs where the ball had landed. It 
also took me a while to find the ball because finding a ball in a large 
set of shrubs and plants was similar to finding a needle in a haystack. 
When I finally found the ball, I noticed that Elron had found something 
else. Lying on the ground was a little girl with blonde-brown hair. Her 
arms were outstretched as she lied on the ground. Her schoolbag rested 
underneath her back. Elron was licking her face. She had a black bruise 
on her face near her temples. The baseball lied right near her. I knew 
what had happened: she had been hit with the baseball. 
 
I kneeled down beside the little girl and put my hand on her chest, 
checking for a heartbeat. I could feel it. My hands were over her 
clothing, so I couldn't see her nipples or anything. Karen was 
breathing, which relieved me because for a moment I thought she was 
dead. 
 
Standing up, I looked down at the little girl. She was dressed in the 
same clothes she had yesterday: the checkered yellow and white dress. I 
kneeled back down and held up her arms, inspecting the dirt on her 
skin. As I held the little girl's arms up with my left hand I gently 
rubbed off the dirt with my right arm. Although the dirt felt rough, I 
could feel the underlying smoothness. I could feel the blood pumping 
through the vessels underneath the surface of her arms. She was very 
much alive. 
 
As I held the little girl's arm up, I looked down at her upper body and 
naturally my eyes wandered down towards her legs. Her dress stopped a 
little above her knees, and as I stared at the two legs poking out from 
the dress I started to wonder what kind of panties she wore. I could 
easily lift her dress up and see. Since I was in the park, there was a 
chance that someone was looking at me, and if someone saw me looking up 
a little girl's dress, there was a good chance they'd call the police. 
I couldn't take that risk, so assuming that someone was looking, I 
tried to act like I was heroic. Taking her schoolbag off the girl, I 
strapped the bag over my own shoulder. With one arm underneath her neck 
and the other underneath the pits underneath her knee, I lifted her off 
the ground and carried her back to my bedroom. 
 
---- 
 
Little Karen was still not conscious when I carried her into my room. I 
was excited though because there was another live being in the house 
besides me and Elron. I put her on my bed, dropped her schoolbag on the 
floor, and wonder what I should do next. First I looked through the 
bag. There was nothing in there of interest except her school diary, 
which I noticed had her address. If I wanted to I could carry this 
little girl back to her parents' home. Her parents might be worried if 
their little girl didn't come back home on time. 
 
I sat on the bed and looked down at the little girl. It looked like she 
was in a deep sleep, and I thought about what I would do if she woke 
up. My eyes were on her legs though and I thought about taking a peek 
at her panties. Since I was inside my bedroom, nobody else could see 
except my cat Elron. Furthermore, Karen was unconscious, which means 
that she wouldn't know if I had been peeking at her panties. What 
someone doesn't know cannot hurt her, so brought my hand to the hem of 
her dress and pulled them up. While pulling the dress up I brought my 
face closer to her body. 
 
My penis became harder as the dress was lifted up and her meaty thighs 
were revealed. The two poles of flesh converged at the waist where her 
pink panties were revealed. They were plain pink panties with no 
pictures on them or anything. They fit on her very tightly, and between 
her legs was what looked like small bumps or hills. The bump between 
the little girl's legs was moving up and down as Karen breathed in and 
out. My eyes widened and my mouth formed an oval shape. Resting the hem 
of her dress on her chest, I put both my hands on the bed and brought 
my face down like I was doing pushups. My face came closer and closer 
to the panties, and suddenly my face registered the body heat radiating 
from her hip region. Not only did my cheeks register heat but my nose 
registered a the warm sugary smell of the girl's body, a mixture of 
evaporated sweat from her skin as well as vaginal fluids including 
urine trapped in the fabric of her panties. I initially only intended 
to smell her panties, but when my face got too close I couldn't stop 
moving forward, and before I knew it the tip of my nose landed on the 
panties, pressing against the material. The mound underneath Karen's 
panties was softer than I expected. With this closeness, the smell was 
potent. I closed my eyes and like a drug the smell had an immediate 
effect as I could feel the warm tingling wave of pleasure inundating my 
whole body. My mind in particular felt delirious. Like a drug addict, I 
had to get more, so I brought my lips down and kissed her panties. My 
tongue came out and planted saliva on the material, soaking it 
instantly, but when my tongue felt the material my taste buds started 
to get busy picking up more flavors. The saliva soaked both her vagina 
lips and her panties, absorbing the fluids in her panties as well as on 
her vagina lips, mixing it all into one tasty solution that swirled all 
over my tongue. The taste receptors on my tongue, picking up the liquid 
solution of spit and vaginal residue, started firing bioelectrical 
impulses to my brain very rapidly, inducing a state of euphoria. I was 
at the peak of my high. 
 
My ears picked up noises coming from Karen's mouth. The wetness on her 
panties must have done something. Immediately I threw my face away from 
her panties and quickly threw her dress over the panties. If she woke 
up she might think she had wet herself accidentally. She didn't wake up 
though. Her eyes were still shut, although with her mouth she mumbled 
something. Her body moved around a little as if she was uncomfortable. 
 
This was too dangerous. If she woke up and saw me molesting me, she 
might tell someone, and I could go to prison. I didn't want to go to 
prison. I could, however, prevent her from telling other people by 
locking her up--or I could kill her.  
 
I quickly dropped that thought. There was no way I could kill a small 
child. I felt guilty that the idea even came up in my mind. I didn't 
want to lock the girl up for the rest of my life either. I could use 
her as a sex slave, as I have read about on the Internet, but I wasn't 
capable of that.  
 
Breathing deeply, I could feel my hard penis press against my pants. I 
wanted to rape Karen, to plunge my penis into her vagina or her anal 
hole and rip though her. She would wake up and start screaming, and 
that would excite me further. My instincts wanted me to rape her. But I 
knew what kind of damage I could do to her. I knew what impact abuse 
could have on her as she grew up, and I didn't want to take away her 
innocence when her innocence was what attracted me to her in the first 
place. 
 
I got off the bed and stood up. An idea came to my mind, and I rushed 
out the bedroom and downstairs to the garage where I grabbed lots of 
soft nylon rope and a pair of scissors. When I came back to my bedroom 
I held the rope up as I stood and looked at the little girl lying still 
on my bed. I was about to tie her up--tie her arms and legs--but I 
realized that if I tied her too roughly she might wake up and start 
screaming. She might see me, and if she sees me I'd have to kill her 
otherwise she'll tell her mom, dad, or the police about me. I couldn't 
kill her, so I had to make sure she couldn't see me if she woke up. 
 
Putting the rope down, I grabbed a black t-shirt near the base of my 
bed. I folded the t-shirt up into a long rectangle. The t-shirt was now 
like a blindfold. With my left arm I grabbed the base of the girl's 
head and held it up over my pillow. With my other hand I put the t-
shirt underneath her head and then rested her head back down on the 
pillow. I grabbed the two ends of the blindfold/t-shirt and looped it 
over her eyes. This wasn't going to work, I thought, because the knot 
would be tied right above her eyes. 
 
Grabbing the little girl's body, I pushed her and rolled the girl till 
she had her tummy against the bed and her bum facing up. This time I 
wrapped the t-shirt over the girl's eyes and tied a simple shoelace 
knot at the back of her head. When I tightened the blindfold, the girl 
started to move a little, but a few seconds later she was quiet and 
breathing peacefully. Wasting no time, I tied the girl's wrists behind 
her back with the nylon rope. I looped the rope around about five 
times. Next I used the remaining rope to tie her legs together by the 
shins. However, as I finished tightening the knot on the little girl's 
shins, Karen mumbled something barely audible. She was awake, that was 
for sure. She kept mumbling softly as she felt the movement of her 
limbs restricted. As she wriggled, her skin brushed up against my legs 
since I was kneeling on the bed. Karen started speaking. 
 
"Hello? What..." She started struggling. "Daddy?"  
 
As Karen spoke she sounded like she was about to cry. I could only 
imagine the fear she was in. She was waking up and not only could she 
not move but she couldn't see anything but blackness. If I had sleeping 
gas I could put her to sleep and she would probably never remember 
anything when she woke up next time. I didn't have any sleeping gas 
though. I rolled the little girl over till she was lying on her back. 
Having just felt my hands all over her body, she now knew that someone 
was near her. 
 
"I can't see," she said, starting to sob. "I can't see!" She tried to 
move her arms presumably towards her eyes to see what had happened to 
her eyes, but she couldn't. Her hands were tied, and she was starting 
to struggle quite vigorously now. 
 
I was about to say something to her, whisper something pleasant in her 
ear, but I hesistated. I didn't let her see me because I didn't want 
her recognizing my appearance, but what if she heard me and recognized 
my voice?  
 
What if I whispered? If I whispered, I would sound different to how I 
usually sound. If everyone sounds similar when they whisper, she 
wouldn't know it was me whispering. 
 
Afraid to talk, I tried to calm the little girl by touching her face, 
lighting running my fingers along her smooth cheeks. This only seemed 
to scare her more. She sniffed loudly. I brought my mouth to her ears 
and whispered. 
 
"It's okay," I said. "Just relax." 
 
As I brought my face up past her face, I noticed her moist lips. I 
moved my lips closer to her lips, about to kiss her, but then I saw her 
bending her knees. Her arms were tied by the wrists behind her. This 
made it uncomfortable for her to lie down on her back because she was 
lying on her arms that were tied behind her. Although my bed was rather 
soft, she decided she wasn't comfortable enough. She bended her knees 
till they almost reached her chin and then brought her wrist down under 
her bottom, over her feet, and in front of her body. She straightened 
her legs. Now that her wrists were sitting on her lap--not behind her 
on her bottom--she could easily grab her blindfold. 
 
And that was exactly what she was doing! 
 
I grabbed the little girl's hands quickly, and Karen started to scream 
out once I did this. 
 
To keep the girl's hands away from her blindfold, I actually sat down 
on the girl as she lied on her back. I sat down till I was sitting on 
her chest, facing her legs. My body blocked her hands from moving to 
her face. Her hands were tied by the wrist. The little girl was 
screaming fiercely, so I quickly looked around the bed to find 
something to keep her quiet. I found my old pair of underwear nearby, 
grabbed it, and stuffed it in her mouth. The underwear gagged the 
little girl and kept her quiet. Putting a finger underneath her 
nostrils, I felt the air from her lungs cooling my fingers. She could 
breathe from her nose, so the gag wasn't suffocating her as I initially 
feared. 
 
To prevent the girl from taking off her blindfold, I needed to tie her 
wrists to her feet. Since I didn't have any rope left, I grabbed my 
pillow and took off the cover. I coiled the pillow cover a bit, turning 
it into a meter-long piece of rope. Using this I connected the rope 
that bounded her arms by her wrists to the rope that bounded her legs 
by her shins. Now she couldn't move her hands to her face. Her legs 
were bound so she couldn't walk. She was blindfolded so she couldn't 
see. My underwear in her mouth gagged her and kept her silent. 
 
Still kneeling on the bed, I looked down at the little girl. She was 
tied up and helpless now. No longer was she squirming. She seemed 
resigned now and kept still. 
 
I heard the front doorbell of the house ringing. Dad was home! 
 
I had to hide the girl somewhere quickly, so I lifted her up, settled 
her down on the carpet, and rolled her underneath my bed, making sure 
that when she finished rolling she was facing up. As I said, I didn't 
want to suffocate her. She would have to stay like this for maybe an 
hour or two, and when I came back she would likely be sore and hungry. 
I needed to get some food and water for her. I had to treat her almost 
like a pet or a plant. But she was more than a pet or a plant.  
 
Walking out of the bedroom and heading downstairs, I was surprised to 
find that not only did my dad come home but so too did my mom. I smiled 
because it's rare for my mom and my dad to both be together with me--
usually one or both worked--but tonight the family was complete: Mom, 
Dad, Me, Elron, and of course little Karen. 
 
---- 
 
I opened the front door and let in both my mom and dad. While Mom and 
Dad were dressed in their dark suits, I wore a green t-shirt and pajama 
pants. 
 
"Philip, get out of those clothes!" said Mom. "We're eating out 
tonight." 
 
"Eating out tonight?" I started to worry. "Where are we going?" 
 
"The Midori," said Dad, adjusting his tie in front of an ornamental 
wall mirror. 
 
I looked blankly at my parents. 
 
Dad looked at me. "It's a sushi restaurant, Phil. Don't tell me you'd 
rather to go to McDonald's instead! We can do better than that." 
 
"How long will we be gone?" 
 
Dad shrugged his shoulders. "Two or three hours maybe. Does it matter?" 
 
"I...I think I want to watch something on TV soon." 
 
"Just tape it. Use the auto-recording function on the VCR." 
 
"I don't know." 
 
"Come on, Phil, I thought you liked sushi?" 
 
"I do...but...well." I didn't know what to say. 
 
Dad finished adjusting his tie and walked back up to me. "Go to your 
room and get changed quickly." 
 
I ran to the kitchen first, grabbed a glass of water, filled it with 
tap water, and walked upstairs to my room with it. Inside my room, I 
locked the bedroom door and I put the glass on my desk. I kneeled by 
the bed and peeked underneath to see how my little girl was doing.  
 
I rolled the little girl out from under the bed. She was facing up. I 
put a finger in the little girl's mouth and grabbed a piece of the 
scrunched up underwear in her mouth. If I took the underwear out from 
the little girl's mouth, what if she started screaming? 
 
"Philip!" I heard my mom screaming from downstairs. "Are you finished 
up there?" 
 
I had to give Karen some water, otherwise she might die. I had no idea 
how long it's been since she last ate or drank, but I knew for a fact 
that although humans can survive for long periods without food, humans 
needed water to survive. 
 
If Karen started screaming, I could always cup my palm over her mouth 
and silence her. 
 
When I took my underwear out from Karen's mouth, the scrunched-up ball 
of cotton was wet with her saliva. I held this wetness to my nose 
quickly and inhaled. Her saliva smelled good. It was sweet and warm at 
the same time. 
 
The little girl didn't make any noise. I leaned over to my desk and 
grabbed the glass of water. Her mouth was already open, and I started 
pouring the water into her mouth. Karen was lying on the carpet with no 
pillow. Her back was against the floor. As I poured the water into the 
little girl's mouth, much of the water spilled out and ran along the 
cheeks of her face or onto her neck. 
 
Something horrible then happened. 
 
Karen started choking. Perhaps I should have warned her that I was 
going to pour water in her mouth. Water started shooting out from her 
nostrils, creating mists of water in the air as she continued to sneeze 
out water. Since she was perfectly horizontal, some of the water 
probably didn't go down her esophagus but instead went up her sinuses 
and out her nose again. 
 
"No," she squeaked. "Don't do it." 
 
I grabbed a pillow from my bed and positioned it on the side of my bed. 
I positioned the little girl so that her back was leaning against this 
pillow now. Although her bound legs were parallel to the floor, her 
upper body was now perpendicular to the floor. Putting the edge of the 
half-full glass to the little girl's moist pink lips, I tilted the 
glass and let the water flow into her small mouth. Little streams of 
water escaped from the edge of her lips and went down her neck towards 
her dress but not much. The little girl was trying to drink the water. 
Her throat wriggled rhythmically like the movement of pistons on the 
engine of a train. 
 
When the glass was empty I pulled the glass away from her lips. The 
little girl burped a breath of fresh and cool air that landed on my 
face. Her little lips were moist and glossy. They were bright pink. 
 
Very quickly, I picked out a random assortment of formal clothing for 
our sushi dinner tonight. Very quickly I put the clothes on. I was so 
quick I almost ripped my pants. I wore dark tailored jeans and a white 
Nautica t-shirt. Once dressed, I went back to Karen and laid her down 
flat on the carpet again. 
 
"I'm hungry," she said. 
 
I had to ignore her because I could hear footsteps from the stairs. One 
of my parents was coming up to get me. 
 
My hands shoved my underwear back into the little girl's mouth, gagging 
her again. I then rolled the little girl underneath my bed, got up, 
unlocked the bedroom door, and walked out to find my dad just about to 
knock on my door. 
 
"Your mother's waiting in the driveway," said Dad. 
 
----  
 
I sat in the back seat of the Mercedes as it drove through the city. It 
was dark outside, but the city lights kept everything visible. 
Melbourne was not like Las Vegas, but it was probably about halfway 
there. Recently a casino was built by the Yarra River. 
 
Since our car had tinted windows, I could look outside without worrying 
that people outside would see me looking at them. As I looked outside, 
I noticed that the city seemed strange. The buildings seemed so 
desolate. The people looked so horrible. I saw people lining up to get 
into a nightclub, and all the people lining up were dressed brightly. 
The door to the nightclub was open, and when I looked inside I saw a 
burst of multi-colored light inside. The darkness, the vibrant colors, 
the bleak concrete and metal buildings--all these things made me feel 
strange. 
 
I got out from the car and followed my mum and dad into the Midori 
restaurant. When I was on the pavement, I noticed the chill of the 
night air. Looking up at the skyscrapers, I started to get an 
impression of how large and vast this place was. The night chill went 
away when I stepped into the restaurant. 
 
Very quickly we were directed to a seat and our food was ordered. 
Within minutes I was not only eating sushi but also okinomiyaki. As I 
ate, I kept thinking about Karen. She was tied up by the wrists and 
legs. Her wrists were tied to the legs so she couldn't move them up to 
remove her blindfold and gag. She was underneath my bed, probably sore 
and definitely hungry. 
 
There's something strange about this restaurant--everyone was so quiet. 
This wasn't the first and only time I've been here. When I came here 
before, the place was quiet as well even though most of the seats were 
taken. It was as if people were afraid to talk too much. 
 
I finished my okinomiyaki and sushi but then told mom and dad that I 
was still hungry, so they ordered more food for me. I ate only a little 
bit of my food before telling them I as full, so we had no choice but 
to bring the food back with us. Mom told the waiter to put my leftover 
food in plastic containers, which the restaurant staff did rather 
quickly. Now I had something to feed Karen. 
 
On the way back home, as we got off the freeway and drove into the 
suburbs, I looked out of the window at the houses. As I looked at the 
houses, I kept reminding myself that people lived in them even though I 
couldn't see them. I had no idea what happened inside their houses, 
just as nobody who drives by my house would know that I had a little 
girl tied up in my room. Since the walls shielded me from what happened 
inside the houses, I felt there was a whole world out there behind 
walls that I could not see, a whole world potentially filled with 
happiness that I could not reach. But maybe I was just imagining 
things. The grass is greener on the other side, and if a wall prevents 
you from seeing the grass on the other side, you're probably going to 
imagine it's much greener than it actually is. 
 
When we got home, Dad stayed in the garage to do something to the car 
while Mom went inside and turned on the computer. She was going to do 
something online. As I walked by my mother with the food in my hand, 
she stopped me. 
 
"Phil, are you going to eat that? I'm feeling hungry now, so if you 
don't want it..." 
 
"No, Mom, I want to eat it." 
 
I saw what my mom was doing online. She was reading the news. The page 
she had open right now was about car prices in Germany, but on the 
right-hand-side of the screen were links to other news. One link caught 
my attention: LITTLE GIRL MISSING IN TOORAK. 
 
I pointed to the link. "Look, Mom, that's where we live." 
 
Mom clicked the link and to my horror a picture of Karen showed up on 
the screen. I felt weird looking at the picture of a girl who was also 
tied up underneath my bed. My eyes quickly scanned some of the words: 
...parents reported Karen missing at five...police have searched a nearby 
park but have found no traces of the 7-year-old girl. This has been a 
difficult time for father Michael. First his wife died in a road 
accident and now his daughter is missing. Although police suspect that 
Karen may have been a victim of kidnapping, her father Michael remains 
hopeful that his daughter will be found safe and alive. 
 
"This happened right here in our neighborhood," said Mom. "It's hard to 
believe that psychos actually live around here." 
 
"Yeah, I know." 
 
Mom started logging off. "It's getting late. You want to use the 
computer now, Phil?" 
 
"I've got one in my own room." 
 
Mom nodded and turned the computer off. I never used the computer in 
the living room anyway because everyone could see what I was doing on 
it. 
 
Dad arrived from the garage and went upstairs to bed. As Mom followed 
him, I went up and walked into my bedroom. I locked the door as I got 
in. 
 
I rolled Karen from underneath my bed, lifted her up, and lied her down 
on my bed. She didn't seem to move. Her body was very warm. Her belly 
went up and down as she breathed. I figured she was asleep, so I 
removed my underwear from her mouth. But she wasn't asleep because she 
started talking as soon as the underwear was removed. 
 
"Oh, I'm hungry," she said. 
 
I heard a rumbling sound coming from her belly. I opened the plastic 
container and took out a chicken sushi. After squirting some soy sauce 
on it, I pressed one end of the sushi against the bottom of her lips. 
When the food made contact with her lips, I could detect a quick and 
small smile form before she opened her mouth wide to accept the food. 
The sushi was about five inches long, and I stuck about one inch 
inside. She bit on the sushi, closed her mouth, and started chewing on 
it. I took the now four-inch sushi away from her mouth and squirted 
some more soy sauce on the end that she had bitten off. I saw her 
swallow the food down, the pieces of sushi moving down her throat and 
disappearing into her body. 
 
"Mmmm that's yummy," she said. "What is it?" 
 
I smiled. That was the first time I'd heard her say something that 
suggested to me she was happy or satisfied. I was about to say 
something, but then I thought about how this missing little girl had 
created news. Police were looking all over for her, and if they 
eventually find her they will ask her questions. They will ask her for 
the physical appearance of the kidnapper, which she wouldn't be able to 
give because she was blindfolded the whole time. They may even ask for 
the voice of the kidnapper, which they might get if I spoke. 
 
Instead of replying, I pushed the end of the sushi towards her lips 
again. She opened wide, I inserted the sushi, and she took another 
bite. 
 
As Karen chewed on her second inch of sushi, I got up from the bed and 
went to the light switch near the door where I turned off the ceiling 
lights. I turned on the small lamp on a small bedside table. Since this 
lamp was small, the place automatically felt warmer. Since I was 
getting sleepy, I started to yawn. 
 
"Are you sleepy?" she asked, her voice sounding so child-like. She had 
heard me yawn. "What time is it?" 
 
She was lying on the bed, so I took my blankets and covered her body up 
to her chest. I then got in underneath the blankets. She would sleep 
with me tonight. Sleeping on a bed would be far more comfortable than 
sleeping on the floor. 
 
"Why don't you talk to me?" she asked, now sounding sad. 
 
I leaned beside her, my body touching hers. There was some rice on the 
corner of her lips, and since her hands were tied she couldn't clean 
herself up. 
 
I straddled her, letting my hard penis lie between her legs, pressing 
up against her body. My chest was against her chest. I was on the 
little girl as if I were going to have sexual intercourse with her in 
the missionary position. Her hands were between her body and mine. Her 
hands were originally shaped into a fist, which hurt me because it dug 
into my belly. She then flattened her hands out. As I lied on the 
little girl, she became quiet. Because of the blindfold, I couldn't see 
her eyes, so I didn't know whether she was scared, but I assume she 
was. As she breathed her belly went up and down, and since my belly was 
against hers, I could feel this wave on my own belly. She was fully 
clothed and so was I, so there wasn't much skin contact. 
 
My face was right next to the little girl's. She was so pretty. Her 
mouth was slightly opened, and her breath blew on my face. The air from 
her mouth smelled of sushi. 
 
"W...What are you doing?" she asked with a slight quiver in her voice. 
 
I brought my face down and kissed the corner of her mouth where the 
stray bead of rice was. With my tongue I licked it up and swallowed it. 
I then rimmed her whole mouth with my tongue, carefully licking off the 
greasy rice and vinegar till her lips were totally clean. As I did 
this, my penis grew harder, and it pressed more forcefully against the 
mound between her legs. 
 
"Who are you?" she asked. "Please tell me." 
 
I couldn't tell her. She was probably really scared at the thought that 
a stranger was on her. My hands snaked their way to her back. I grabbed 
her and pulled her body towards mine, trying to press her against me, 
to feel her whole body underneath me, her heartbeat, her diaphragm as 
it moved up and down, as well as the moisture of sweat that secreted 
from her skin pores. 
 
The little girl started to cry underneath me. I couldn't see any tears 
in her eyes because I couldn't see her eyes because of the blindfold, 
but I could tell she was crying by the noises she made. As the volume 
of her crying got louder, I started to worry that my parents would 
hear. 
 
"Shhhhhhhh." I put my mouth towards her right ear and very quietly 
whispered. "Don't cry. It's okay." My voice was so quiet I could hear 
the popping noise my moist lips made when they opened. Since I was 
whispering my voice didn't sound deep as it usually did. I had gone 
through puberty, and by now I had developed a deep voice. When I 
whispered though this deepness wasn't evident. 
 
"Why are you whispering?" she asked. 
 
Now that I thought about it, my whispering to her probably made me 
sound more sinister and evil. No wonder she still seemed scared. 
 
I totally forgot about the food, so I grabbed the now three-inch sushi 
from the plastic container and pushed it against her mouth again. She 
opened her lips and accepted the food. I fed her not only the two 
sushis but also the okinomiyaki, which she seemed to enjoy. 
 
When the food was all finished, her belly now felt warm and slightly 
bulging. I left the empty plastic containers on the bedside table. Her 
mouth was dirty this time not only from rice but also from sauce. 
Instead of using my lips like I did before, I wiped the edge of her 
mouth with my one fingers and then popped this finger into her mouth 
for her to lick. Her soft, warm tongue flickered over my finger, taking 
away the rice and sweet sauce. She looked so innocent sucking on my 
finger. 
 
I got up from my bed and changed into my pajamas. I couldn't risk Karen 
making loud noises during the night so I decided to put my underwear 
gag back in her mouth now that she had finished eating. 
 
Since it was getting late, I couldn't help yawning. It was a loud yawn 
as well, so Karen probably heard me. I reached over to the bedside lamp 
and turned the lights out. It was pitch black. This would be how Karen 
felt, but lucky for us we were both in bed, and navigating your way 
around a bed in the dark is not that difficult. 
 
I closed my eyes. I couldn't see anything, but I still felt Karen's 
body near mine. I was lying on my bed on my back. The back of my head 
rested against the pillow. The blankets were all the way up to my neck. 
Karen's body, however, was completely covered with the blanket. She 
could easily roll over to the far end of the bed, but instead her body 
pressed against mine. 
 
In a way I felt uncomfortable with Karen pressing up against me, and I 
started to wonder whether I would fall asleep tonight. It wouldn't 
matter anyway because I didn't have to get up early for anything 
tomorrow, and in a way I didn't want to fall asleep tonight because I 
was sleeping with this little girl. 
 
I felt something press against me strongly on the belly.  
 
What was Karen doing down there? 
 
Reaching over to the bedside table with my left hand, I grabbed my 
Samsung mobile phone and brought it under the blankets. With my right 
hand I then pulled the blankets up till they were over my head. The 
fingers on my left hand pressed on the button on my Samsung and the 
liquid crystal display turned on, illuminating the area underneath the 
blankets. With the blanket just over my head, it felt like I was in a 
dimly-lit cave. The mobile phone gave off a soft bluish color. I could 
see in this warm claustrophobic cavity the pajamas on my body, and my 
penis was extremely hard and prominent as it bulged out the front of my 
pajama pants. Karen was lying on the right-hand-side of my body. She 
was tied up, gagged, and blindfolded. I watched the little girl as she 
tried to lightly wriggle herself into a comfortable position. Since she 
was blindfolded, she wouldn't know that I had turned the mobile phone 
light under the blankets. 
 
I grabbed the top of the blanket and pulled it up, bringing my whole 
body upward as well so that my penis was lined up with the little 
girl's face. With my right hand I pulled my pajama pants down and 
released my penis from under my pants and underwear. My penis hardened 
from the thought that this massive penis was right next to the little 
girl--hovering over her face--and she didn't even know. With a hand 
over the little girl's head, I pressed her face down against the tip of 
my penis, feeling my penis brush up against her smooth soft right 
cheek. Just the feel of her baby smooth cheeks on my penis made me 
aroused. She probably didn't know what it was sticking up against her 
face. Maybe she thought it was my finger or my big toe. 
 
I then wondered whether I could stick my penis into the girl's mouth. 
My underwear was stuck up her mouth, so I couldn't put much up there. I 
started to think about whether it would be difficult sleeping with 
someone's underwear stuffed up your mouth. I inserted two fingers into 
the little girl's mouth, grabbed the underwear, and pulled it out 
slowly, ready to pop it back in if she started screaming. She was 
completely silent, so well behaved. As I moved the scrunched up 
underwear towards my penis I felt cold liquid dripping on the piece of 
skin where my right leg met my torso. Her saliva was dripping from the 
underwear onto my skin. 
 
Wrapping the saliva-soaked underwear over my penis, I stroked my penis 
softly, feeling the little girl's slimy saliva smear over my penis.  
 
Suddenly the little girl sneezed. Her sneezing took me by surprise and 
actually scared me. 
 
"Sorry," she said so quietly.  
 
My right hand patted her on her back, reassuring her that I wasn't 
angry. She had actually sneezed on my penis, and as I dropped the 
underwear and felt my penis with my bare left palm, to my excitement I 
could feel the little girl's slimy mucus and phlegm on my penis. She 
had sneezed it out from her nasal cavity and threw it towards my penis 
almost as if it were a gift for me. 
 
Stroking my penis with my left hand, I felt the slimy mixture of mucus 
and saliva starting to pop as the many little air bubbles burst. The 
slimy mixture lubricating my penis sounded like the sound of grease 
smeared against a hard surface. My right hand touched the back of the 
little girl's head, my fingers playing with the knot that held her 
blindfold together. What if I took off her blindfold? Since the mobile 
phone provided light, she would see what was happening. Would I 
traumatize her? Would the image be permanently etched in her innocent 
little mind? I decided to keep the blindfold on. 
 
Since my left hand had mucus, snot, and saliva all over it, I grabbed 
the mobile phone lying on my tummy with my right hand and brought the 
phone out from underneath the blankets. Popping my head back out from 
underneath the blankets, I reached over towards the bedside table, 
sifted through the junk, and grabbed a candy cane that had been given 
to me two Christmases ago. I moved the candy cane to my mouth and with 
my teeth peeled off the plastic wrapping. Bringing the candy cane 
underneath the blankets, I rested it on my pubes, just above my penis. 
I then brought my right hand back out, grabbed the Samsung mobile phone 
on the bedside table, brought the phone back underneath the blanket, 
and then put my head back underneath. 
 
The mucus and saliva on my left hand and penis had now dried up. I 
rested the mobile phone on my tummy, grabbed the candy cane with my 
left hand, and with my right hand I held the back of Karen's head. I 
held her gently, not wanting to make her scream or anything. 
 
As with the sushi, I pressed one end of the candy cane on the bottom of 
her lips. I pressed a little harder this time to emphasize to her that 
this candy cane was hard, not soft like the sushi. I hoped she didn't 
start biting on the candy cane because that might hurt her teeth. I 
wanted to say something to warn her, but I couldn't talk. As I said, if 
I ever did release her and she met me again and heard me talking, she 
might recognize my voice. 
 
I softly pushed the candy cane into her mouth. Her teeth initially 
resisted the inward movement of the candy cane, but a moment later she 
opened her mouth and accepted about an inch. She started sucking and 
licking. I could feel the candy cane moving around as one end was in 
her mouth. After she had sucked on the cane for about thirty seconds, I 
pulled the candy cane out. 
 
"Mmmm, lollipop," she said in a tone that made me uncertain whether she 
was asking a question or not. "I want more." 
 
I pushed the candy cane back in her mouth and she started sucking on it 
again. I left it in there for about a minute this time. Then when I 
took the candy cane out from her mouth, I smeared the wet end against 
my penis, trying to coat my penis with as much syrupy sugar as 
possible. 
 
I then turned my body to the side, thrust my hips forward, and moved my 
penis into her mouth. As her warm tongue started lapping on my penis, I 
started moaning involuntarily. Her tongue started to slow down. She was 
probably suspicious now why this new candy cane felt and tasted 
different. It was rounder, slightly softer, and had a foreskin. She 
could probably taste the sweetness that I had wiped on my penis, so she 
certainly had an incentive to keep sucking. 
 
I brought my penis out from her mouth and replaced it with the real 
candy cane. I then randomized the order. Whether she was going to get 
the penis or the candy cane was like figuring out whether a coin flip 
ended up heads or tails. Since she was blindfolded and couldn't see 
anything, over time she would likely believe that she was just licking 
and sucking on two different types of candy cane. The candy cane's 
girth (the distance around the candy cane) was coincidentally about the 
same as the girth of my penis. 
 
My penis was throbbing so much I felt like I could almost burst. If her 
mouth went over my penis again there was a good chance I would release 
my sperm deposits straight into her mouth. 
 
My doorknob started clanking.  
 
I froze. 
 
Someone then started knocking quietly on my bedroom door. It was 
locked. It was probably Mom or Dad. What could they want? I was in big 
trouble if Mom or Dad found me with a little girl I had kidnapped. 
Immediately I turned on the lamp on the bedside table, got up, did my 
pants, stuffed my underwear back into the little girl's mouth, and then 
laid her down on the carpet at the base of the bed. I then grabbed an 
MP3 player, stuffed both earphones into Karen's ears, and then turned 
the volume up till the music blasted in her ears. I then pushed the 
little girl underneath the bed. I couldn't roll her like a log this 
time because she wore earphones connected to an MP3 player. Poor girl 
probably thought she was going to have to sleep on the carpet for the 
whole night listening to my music. 
 
I opened my bedroom door and saw my mom. She looked inside my room. 
 
"Why did you lock your door, Phil?" 
 
"I forgot to unlock from before," I said. "It was an accident." 
 
She nodded. "I've got something for you, Phil." Her eyes looked tired, 
as if she just got out from bed.  
 
"What is it?" 
 
She pulled out my kitten Elron. "Your kitten woke me up. Keep her in 
your room, would you?" 
 
"It's a boy kitten," I said, correcting her. 
 
I grabbed the kitten, released him into my bedroom, and peeked out the 
bedroom window as my mom went back to her bedroom. This time she shut 
her bedroom door as she entered, probably not wanting any pets to 
disturb her sleep. It was important that Elron stay in my room tonight. 
If he played around in the kitchen he might break plates, glasses, or 
bowls. Since this cat was new, my parents hadn't had time yet to make 
the house safe for cats. 
 
I locked my bedroom door and ran back to the base of my bed. Pulling 
the little girl out from under the bed, I took the earphones out from 
her ears. She was wriggling around. Her head swayed from side to side. 
I put one earphone in my right ear to test how loud it was. It was 
quite loud, almost at full volume. I needed to put the earphones on her 
so that she couldn't hear the conversation between my mom and me. If 
she heard she might recognize the voice or, worst yet, know who I was 
if my mom mentioned my name. The volume was very loud though. I hoped I 
hadn't made her permanently deaf or anything. Looking down at the 
little girl it was clear she was somewhat distressed. 
 
I carried the little girl to the bed and sat her down on my lap. I 
decided to take out my underwear from her mouth. I felt she deserved it 
after I had blasted her ears with loud music. Right after I removed the 
gag, the little girl spoke. 
 
"Please don't put that in my mouth again." 
 
I pressed my mouth against hers this time and kissed her on the lips. I 
loved her moist mouth. 
 
"Who are you?" she asked. "Where am I? Am I dead? Am I in Heaven?" 
 
I smiled. The girl thought she was in Heaven. I decided maybe it would 
be nice to try to fool her into believe she actually was, so I rested 
my mouth close to her ears and whispered. 
 
"Yes, you're in Heaven now." 
 
Karen spoke. "How did I die?" 
 
"A baseball hit your head." 
 
"Is my daddy sad?" 
 
"Yes, your dad is very sad...so is your mom." My throat was starting to 
get sore with all the whispering. 
 
The little girl started sniffing. "Where is my mommy? Can I see her?" 
 
"She's at home with your dad." 
 
"No, mommy's in Heaven." 
 
I understood now. Karen didn't have a mother. 
 
As the little girl sat on my lap, I could feel her body getting warmer. 
I looked at the clock and noticed that it was two in the morning. No 
wonder I was so tired. Karen was probably tired as well. I decided it 
was time I tried to get some sleep. 
 
I continued whispering. "When you speak, don't make too much noise." 
 
"Why?" 
 
"Other people are sleeping. You'll wake them up. Aren't you tired?" 
 
"I'm very tired," she said. She then paused for a few seconds. "Did you 
kiss me before?" 
 
"Yes, I did kiss you. Would you like another one?" 
 
Karen smiled. "I need to go wee wee now." 
 
If she needed to go she needed to go. She couldn't hold it in forever. 
I was going to have to carry her all the way to the toilet, which was 
risky because, on my way to the toilet, maybe my mom or dad might catch 
me. It was a risk I had to take. 
 
"Can I wee now?" she asked. 
 
"No," I said. "Only start weeing when I touch your nose." 
 
I carried the little girl over to the bedroom door. When I opened the 
door, Karen started babbling something, so I shooshed her in case one 
of my parents were near. Apart from the little bit of moonlight, the 
corridors were quiet and dark. I walked back to the bedside table and 
grabbed my mobile phone. I might need it to produce light. With the 
Samsung in my pocket, I carried the little girl outside into the 
corridors. There was a bathroom upstairs about ten meters away from my 
room. As I walked though, my body was much heavier than it usually was 
since I was carrying a little girl. Because of the extra weight, every 
step I took concentrated more force on the floor directly underneath my 
feet. The wooden planks under the carpet started stretching. 
 
I finally arrived at the bathroom entrance only to realize that the 
light bulb didn't work. I flicked on the switch about five times before 
fully convincing myself that I would have to somehow make the little 
girl urinate in almost pitch darkness. 
 
Luckily, the bathroom was not completely dark. A small window about a 
foot in width and length let in dim rays of grey moonlight. I could 
just see the toilet from where I stood. 
 
"I need to wee!" said Karen. 
 
I locked the door and carried the little girl over to the toilet, 
walking especially slow now because of the darkness. I was afraid that 
I was going to trip over something. Now that I was walking on bathroom 
tiles I was no longer afraid of making noises. 
 
When I got to the toilet, I put Karen down, letting her stand near the 
toilet as I took off my pants and sat down on the toilet seat. I pulled 
up the hem of Karen's dress, grabbed her panties, and pulled them down 
her legs. I saw her lift her feet up, and I removed the panties from 
her completely. Since it was so dark I couldn't make out much detail on 
the little girl's body even though I was very curious to see Karen's 
vagina. 
 
I lifted the little girl up by her hips and placed her on my lap. She 
faced me as she sat on my lap. Each of her bum cheeks rested on the top 
of my thighs. Both her legs extended towards the back of the toilet. 
Her feet could probably just touch the u-bend. The underside of my 
penis pressed against the little girl's outer vaginal lips. My penis 
hardened rapidly as my penis felt the little girl's smooth hairless 
vagina lips. 
 
My hands wrapped around Karen's upper body. I pulled the little girl 
towards me till her chest touched mine. Her face landed inches from 
mine. Karen's hands were bound in front of her body, so it was a little 
uncomfortable for her. Although our chests made contact and we were 
facing each other, Karen's hands were sandwiched between my belly and 
her belly. Since the little girl's face was right next to mine, I could 
feel her breath on my face--the cool, fresh air from the body of a 
little girl. Even though only a trickle of moonlight spilled inside the 
bathroom, some of that light arrived at her face. If she weren't 
blindfolded her eyes might glisten. I suddenly felt such a desire to 
look into her eyes, to see inside her. So much can be learned about a 
person simply by looking into her eyes.  
 
Bringing my mouth to her face, I kissed the tip of Karen's nose.  
 
She started to urinate on my penis. I heard the trickling noise of 
liquid. Warmth started to envelop my penis. Splashes of urine landed 
all over my belly and upper thighs. The urine stream drilled into the 
underside of my penis, and I opened my mouth involuntarily to gasp. As 
I gasped, my arms squeezed more tightly against the girl's body, 
pressing her body closer to mine till I felt her body merging with 
mine, her heartbeat reverberating against my body. She radiated warmth 
and I absorbed it, filling the once empty void in my body with her 
essence. I felt like I was really in Heaven. 
 
Her urine flow started to weaken. I sat for a while, looking at the 
moonlight from the window. As my face came close to her face, I felt 
her hair strands tickling my face, so with a hand I lightly brushed her 
hair back. I laid her face against my left shoulder and waited for her 
to finish urinating. She was almost finished. It was hard to determine 
when she was really finished because, although she may have stopped 
urinating, urine could still be dripping all over my body in between my 
legs. 
 
When I was fully convinced that Karen had finished urinating, I was 
about to lift her up by the hips and stand her up, but as I lifted her 
head from my shoulders I could hear her breathing very slowly. Her 
mouth was opened. Since she was blindfolded, I couldn't see her eyes, 
but it looked like she was asleep. In fact, when I lifted her up a 
little, her body seemed limp, which suggested that she was indeed 
asleep. 
 
With my left hand I held Lily up, careful not to rock her too much lest 
she wake up. With my right hand I grabbed some toilet paper, folded it 
up, and dabbed it softly against her vagina lips. The toilet paper must 
have absorbed the urine beads on her vagina lips because I felt 
moisture on my fingers. 
 
Very crudely I dried my penis and belly with more toilet paper before 
lifting up my pants and carrying Karen back to my bedroom. 
 
While lying in bed with Karen sleeping by my side, I was masturbating. 
My fingers still held the scent of the little girl's sweet urine, and I 
held my smelly fingers underneath my nostrils as I masturbated. 
 
I ejaculated. 
 
As the semen erupted, in my mind I could still see Karen. Images of her 
sweet smiling face sustained my orgasm. When it was over, I smeared my 
semen on Karen's pretty face as she slept. Then with my tongue I licked 
her face, moving the sweat-and-semen mixture around, up her nostrils 
and some into her mouth.  
 
After a while, I closed my eyes and fell asleep. 
 
---- 
 
When I woke up the next day, it was nine in the morning. Given how much 
I had struggled in the darkness last night when I was in the toilet, I 
was surprised at how much light poured into my room from the bedroom 
window. Cocking my head, I saw Karen sleeping beside me. Being 
blindfolded, she probably wouldn't be able to figure out whether it was 
day or night. Since the bedroom door was closed and locked, the room 
was rather humid. 
 
I remember being awake until about two in the morning last night, so I 
was surprised to be waking up at nine in the morning because at a 
minimum I had seven hours of sleep, and usually I wake up eight hours 
after I fall asleep. Karen probably fell asleep around about the same 
time I fell asleep, which is a little after two o'clock. The little 
girl would probably sleep for a little longer, maybe until ten or 
eleven. I heard somewhere that small children needed more sleep than 
older teenagers like me, but I'm not too sure whether this was true or 
not. 
 
After unlocking the bedroom door, I poked my head outside and listened 
carefully for any noise that may indicate whether my parents were still 
home. I heard nothing for twenty seconds and so assumed that nobody was 
home except me and Karen. 
 
I walked back to the bed and took some scissors from the bedside table. 
The scissors were sharp, so if I wanted to I could cut Karen up. I 
placed the scissors in my pockets and then carefully picked Karen up 
from the bed. She was in a deep sleep. Even as I moved her around a 
little she didn't wake up. If she did wake up, she wouldn't be able to 
see anything because of the blindfold. The little girl didn't have my 
underwear in her mouth this morning. I figure she learnt now not to 
make any noise and even if she did make noise I could silence her with 
my t-shirt. Karen's arms and legs were still tied up with rope, 
although by now she was probably used to it. 
 
Carrying a little girl down the stairs was more difficult than I first 
imagined. Firstly, since I held a child in my arms, I couldn't see my 
legs and couldn't check to see whether the foot that I brought forward 
would land on the steps. Just one misplaced foot could see me tumbling 
down with the girl. 
 
I was pleasantly surprised to find the sun beaming down on me as I 
entered the backyard. The sun's rays were warm. I started to worry that 
the sudden change in temperature now that we were outside might wake 
Karen up. Still carrying the little girl, I pushed the fence door open 
and walked into the park, arriving at the path that Karen usually took 
in the afternoon. I then walked into the bushes, the ones where I found 
Karen before. When I found a clear field of grass that was bordered by 
plenty of vegetation--so there was little chance anybody could see what 
I was doing--I laid Karen on the grass carefully. After pulling out the 
scissors in my pockets, I started cutting the ropes on her hands and 
legs before cutting off her blindfold. I scrunched up the ropes and 
cloth before burying them into my pocket. Karen slept peacefully on the 
grass under the warm morning sun. I took one last look at her before 
walking away back to my house. 
 
When I arrived back in my backyard, I closed the fence door and sat 
around the backyard for about an hour. I was waiting for Karen to wake 
up. The fence dividing my backyard from the park had holes in them that 
were perfect for spying. Every now and then I would look through this 
hole to see whether Karen has woken up yet. 
 
At about ten o'clock I saw Karen through the eyehole. She was walking 
out from the bushes. She arrived on the path and looked very confused, 
as if she didn't understand what just happened to her.  
 
She continued down the dirt path, walking as she always did, in a 
wandering unfocused manner. Her steps were small, almost little baby 
steps. Perhaps she was feeling weak. 
 
When the little girl was about twenty meters ahead, I opened the fence 
silently and followed the little girl. 
 
---- 
 
Before long, Karen found herself on the pavement after walking out from 
the park. She walked along the pavement for about a minute before 
stopping, turning around, and then walking back the way she came. As 
she walked back I found myself walking towards the little girl, and as 
she came closer and closer to me I could see the worry on her face even 
though she was aware of my presence. When I walked up to her, I spoke 
to her. 
 
"Hello, little girl," I said. "Where's your mom or dad?" I hoped to God 
she wouldn't recognize my voice. I kept reminding myself that she 
wouldn't because I never actually spoke to her in my natural tone. 
 
The little girl looked forward for a moment, as if hesitating to look 
upwards at me. When she looked upwards, she briefly made eye contact 
with me before breaking it again. She put her hands together, fidgeted 
with her fingers, and then brought her face back down and stared at the 
pavement. 
 
"It's okay if you don't know," I said, trying to sound very kind. 
Naturally I'm a kind person, so that wasn't difficult. "I'll walk you 
over to the police station now. It's near here. I promise they'll find 
your mom and dad for you." 
 
Karen kept staring at the pavement as she digested what I said. With 
the new information processed, she looked back up at me and made eye 
contact with me again, as if trying to figure out if I was trustworthy 
based on what my face looked like. She brought her head down and stared 
into the distance. Aware that I was looking at her and awaiting a 
response, the little girl nodded her head. 
 
I smiled and started walking to the police station. Karen followed me 
from behind. 
 
---- 
 
It was seven o'clock at night and usually I don't watch television. I 
think television appeals to the lowest common denominator. I like to 
think that I'm more special than the masses, so I avoid television lest 
it makes me more ordinary or more common. However, tonight was 
different. I knew I was going to be on the news, and I wanted to see 
myself on TV. I had already told my mom and dad that I was going to be 
on TV and thy really wanted to see for themselves. 
 
I knew I was going to be on TV because, when I dropped Karen off at the 
police station earlier, I was asked to write up some police reports, 
and after a few minutes writing them I noticed a large group of 
cameramen and journalists waiting outside. One of the cops must have 
tipped off the media. 
 
I sat on the left-hand side of the sofa while my mum sat on the right-
hand side. My dad sat on his own seat to the left of the TV. It was 
getting dark and the lighting in the family room was set rather dim. An 
attractive woman appeared on the television to report the news. 
 
"In news today, missing seven-year-old girl Karen Bakken has been found 
safe and well walking near a park near Heyington Station. She was found 
by a teenage boy who alerted police." 
 
"Look, it's you!" said my mom, pointing to the television. 
 
The camera focused on me as I stood in the police station. I had a 
bewildered look on my face because I didn't expect so many cameras 
around. I then saw myself talking on TV. It was odd seeing myself on 
TV. I suddenly felt very embarrassed. 
 
"I found her walking along the pavement," I said on TV. "She looked 
lost and I heard on the news that a child was missing in the area, so I 
quickly led her to the police station." 
 
My mum looked at me and smiled. I think she approved of what I said on 
national TV. If I had said something even slightly unconventional, I 
would have regretted it forever. 
 
The reporter spoke. "Police found bruising on Karen's head, suggesting 
the little girl fell down or was struck in the head by a baseball found 
nearby. Forensic scientists and police believe she had been lying in 
the bushes for one or two days before regaining consciousness." 
 
The television cut to Karen's pretty face as she lied in a hospital. A 
reporter's microphone had been shoved towards her mouth. 
 
A male reporter asked her a question. "Do you remember what happened, 
little girl?" 
 
Karen shook her head weakly. "All I remember," said the little girl, 
"is that I was in Heaven." 
 
All the reporters and cameramen in the hospital room laughed at the 
girl's words. 
 
Dad laughed. "Kids have great imaginations, don't they?" 
 
"Maybe she's telling the truth," I said. "The baseball almost killed 
her." 
 
Dad rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right, and I suppose the tooth fairy 
exists." 
 
Both Mom and Dad started laughing. 
 
---- 
 
It was night. I lied in my bed with the blankets covering me 
completely. Since it was such a cold night I kept the blankets tightly 
wrapped around me, but even as I did this I could feel the cold air 
seeping in through the small holes and onto my body. As I lied in bed, 
the moonlight drifted in and made my bedroom look like the surface of 
the moon--barren, grey, cold, and isolated. Last night I had a little 
girl in my arms. I had felt warmer with her in my arms not just because 
of her body temperature. I had a living, breathing, and purely innocent 
creature sleeping with me and now she was gone, replaced by empty 
space, by cold air. I started to regret ever releasing her. Perhaps she 
was better off now that she was with her family.  
 
But perhaps not. 
 
I suddenly remembered what Karen told me. Her mother was dead, so she 
only had a father. 
 
---- 
 
I woke up the next day at 11 o'clock. What was once moonlight streaming 
through the windows was now bright and warm sunlight. I looked outside 
into the park and noticed how empty it seemed. Usually during the 
weekends there were a handful of people in the park, but today the park 
was empty, which meant today was a weekday. 
 
Turning around, I faced my bed and looked at the mess on the floor. T-
shirts, socks, and jocks were heaped all over the floor. I noticed that 
among this mess of underwear was a school diary.  
 
It was Karen's school diary!  
 
Now that my memory had been jogged, I remembered having seen Karen's 
home address written in her school diary.  
 
Very quickly I flicked a few pages and found her address: 46 Baird St. 
Baird Street was about a 20-minute walk from my house. I remembered the 
road because there was a shop there where I used to buy candy when I 
was small. 
 
---- 
 
When I arrived at Karen's house I was surprised at how much of a dump 
it was. My house was quite a nice double-story house among many other 
nice houses nearby, but it was surprising how a 20-minute walk could 
change the surroundings so dramatically. Most of the property on Baird 
Street seemed to be flats rather than actual houses. The place also 
seemed to have fewer trees planted on the nature strips. 
 
Karen's house--if the address in her school diary was accurate--was a 
single-story brick house. At the front was an uneven lawn that had 
large bare patches of dirt. On this lawn was the front half of an old 
car that was starting to rust. The car looked as if all the important 
parts, such as the engine and the steering wheel, had been stripped 
off. All that remained was the rusted outer shell as well as the mess 
of wires all over the car. The car looked like an old Ford, although it 
was such a twisted mess it was impossible to tell unless you identified 
the badge at the front. The car also seemed to have many sharp and 
pieces of metal sticking out of it. If I child lived here I sure hope 
to God the child didn't play with this car. 
 
Most houses had some sort of barrier between the front yard and the 
backyard--a fence or something. This house didn't have anything but 
plain grass and dirt. The backyard was open before me invitingly, so I 
decided to go have a look. Even though I knew this was the right 
address I still didn't know whether a child actually lived here or not. 
I remembered from the school diary that I read that I was supposed to 
be at house number 46, and this certainly was house number 46. The 
number was displayed on the front door. 
 
But maybe I had read it wrong. Maybe Karen wrote her address 
incorrectly. This house certainly didn't seem like the sort of house a 
child would live in. It was too small. It was too dangerous. 
 
Today was a cold and windy day, so I was glad I had a windbreaker on. I 
all of a sudden felt the Samsung in my back pocket vibrating. My dad 
had sent me an SMS asking where I was. I looked at the time and noticed 
it was four o'clock. He had already arrived back home from work. I 
didn't bother replying. 
 
As I walked towards the backyard I approached a window. I heard noises 
coming from this window. 
 
I inched myself closer to the window, careful not to make too much 
noise. When my fingers touched the edge of the window, I could hear the 
noise more clearly. It was a swishy, sharp, metallic noise. It sounded 
like a machine or something, although this noise was far too random to 
be the product of a machine. My curiosity was aroused too much. I had 
to see what was happening inside the room. 
 
When I peeked inside, I saw something odd. 
 
It was a man in his forties. He wore a blue singlet and was hairy all 
over his body. His face was filled with the stumps of hair as if he had 
shaved but the razorblade he used was not sharp enough to cut the hair 
deep at the root. Hair on his chest was so overwhelming that it 
overflowed from his singlet. What was most unusual, however, was not 
his hair or his face. What was unusual was what this man held in his 
hands--a knife. He held a 6-inch steel knife in his right hand and he 
was sharpening it on a piece of rock that he held in his left hand. The 
noise I had heard earlier was the noise of friction between steel and 
rock. 
 
Somebody entered the room. My eyes widened when I saw who it was. 
 
It was Karen. 
 
The little seven-year-old girl walked into the room quietly. As she 
walked in she kept her eyes in front of her, not looking at the man 
with the knife or anything else. Her fingers were held in front of her. 
She was fidgeting with her fingers. Her lips were moving. It looked 
like she was saying something, muttering something to herself. Even 
though the window was open, I didn't hear any noise coming from Karen's 
mouth. I could, however, clearly hear the knife being sharpened 
 
"Karen," said the main in a very deep voice. "I think I told you not to 
come in here when I'm busy. Now go back to your room." 
 
"But Daddy..." The little girl stared forward as she said this, her eyes 
wide open. "I'm really hungry." 
 
"What did I tell you, Karen? Now that your mom's not here to cook for 
you, you're the only girl here and you're going to have to learn how to 
cook for yourself." 
 
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This man believed that a child 
could cook for herself? 
 
Karen spoke in a soft tone. She was so quiet I almost couldn't hear 
her. "What can I eat? Yesterday I got lots of food." 
 
The man rolled his eyes and continued to sharpen his knife. "Karen, 
stop it, please." 
 
The little girl started to smile slightly but just as she did so the 
man wiped that smile off her face. He put the knife on the table, 
leaned forwards towards the little girl, and slapped her face with his 
right hand. Shocked, Karen started crying. She ran out of the room, 
leaving her father alone to continue sharpening his knife. 
 
I was scared now not only because this man was a bad father but he was 
also aggressive, and to make matters worse he was holding a knife. What 
the man did next would prove more unusual and shocking than anything I 
had ever seen in my life. 
 
The man put the knife and rock down on the table on which he sat. He 
then unzipped his pants and let his penis flop out. The penis was 
rather hard. With his left hand he stroked the penis up and down, 
making the rod larger and larger. He picked up the knife on the table 
with his right hand again and this time aimed the tip of the blade 
towards his thighs. 
 
The man wore shorts, so his creamy white thighs were visible. The man 
kept masturbating with his left hand while pressing the tip of the 
blade against his right leg. Before long, bright red blood started to 
spill as the blade penetrated his skin. As the blood started to spill, 
the rate at which the man pumped his penis seemed to increase. He was 
becoming more and more aroused by the sight of his own blood. 
 
The knife suddenly dropped to the table with a loud clanging noise. Now 
that he wasn't hold a knife, the man's right hand was free, and he 
pressed a finger to the wound on his leg, smearing blood all over the 
forefinger on his right hand. He gasped as his left hand continued to 
pump his penis. The man brought this blood-stained finger to his mouth 
and started sucking on it. He was sucking on his own blood. As he did 
this his left hand started to increase its pumping rate. His hand moved 
on his penis so quickly now it was starting to blur. The man screamed 
out as he reached orgasm. I couldn't watch anymore. 
 
I returned back to the front yard--where the rusted car was--and found 
the kitchen window at the front of the house. When I looked through 
this window, I saw a very ordinary kitchen with white tiles and white 
walls. The white tiles and white walls, however, had lots of brown 
stains. The refrigerator door was open and as my necked moved into the 
house more through the open window, I noticed that at the base of the 
refrigerator was little Karen. She was looking inside the fridge, 
probably trying to find food for herself. 
 
The window was opened large enough so I could slip through, but it was 
a close fit and as I climbed inside the house into the kitchen, I had 
to land softly on the kitchen sink. Karen saw me enter. She stared at 
me curiously before remembering who I was. She then started to talk. 
 
"I saw you at the police!" she said, smiling again. 
 
Very quickly I put a finger to my lips and shooshed her. "Don't make 
any noise." I was standing in the kitchen now, so I walked towards the 
little girl. "Are you hungry? Do you want some food?" 
 
Karen nodded as she stared at me. 
 
"I've got lots of sushi at home," I said. "Do you want to eat some?" 
 
The little girl stared at me some more. "Okay," she said plainly, 
nodding just a little bit. 
 
I put out my hand towards her. "Do you want to come with me? We'll go 
back to my house." 
 
The little girl put her hands in mine. The moment her hand made contact 
with mine, I pulled her in. Our eyes made contact, and I could see in 
her eyes a strange gloominess, like she was afraid and sad at the same 
time. I led the little girl towards the front door and opened it. 
 
"Hey, you!" 
 
I turned around and saw Karen's father. He was standing in the kitchen 
looking at me as I held Karen's hand near the front door, which was now 
open. The man's right hand was completely red from his own blood. Blood 
flowed down his right leg all the way down to his feet. Some of it 
leaked on the kitchen tiles. 
 
"Hey, you're the guy at the police station! What are you doin' with my 
girl?" 
 
I grabbed Karen by the waist and lifted her, probably more roughly than 
I should have, and I ran as fast as I could as I bolted into the front 
yard. It was futile though. With a small child in my arms, I couldn't 
run as fast as a grown man holding nothing. The man caught up to me in 
a matter of seconds before tripping me. 
 
When I fell to the ground, Karen flew out from my hands and rolled on 
the grass. As I looked back up, I saw the grown man over me. I saw him 
move quickly before feeling pain on my backside as he kicked me on the 
back. When I screamed, the man backed off a little and caught his 
breath. He watched me as I squirmed on the grass. 
 
As I got back up, I realized I was panting hard. All that running had 
exhausted me. 
 
Before I had a chance to say anything, the man lunged at me and tried 
to grab me. I tried to push back. The man grabbed my clothes and swung 
me around, but I had also grabbed his clothing and as he swung me 
around he swung himself as a result. Both he and I spun around for a 
while before I felt my legs trip over an uneven piece of dirt on the 
ground. As I fell, I found myself falling on the grown man, but my fall 
was violently disrupted. The grown man below me fell on the rusted car. 
His back landed against a scrap piece of metal--a sharp piece of metal 
sticking out from the car. The piece of metal had impaled him as he 
fell, entering through his back and coming back out through his right 
left breast. Since I was on top of the man, the metal stabbed me on the 
right nipple, but the cut was only a quarter of an inch deep. When I 
finally caught my breath, I realized I was looking into the eyes of a 
dead man. As I got up, I looked down at the man was lying on the car. 
Blood poured out from underneath him. The blood flowed onto the lawn. 
 
Karen lied on the grass nearby and watched in horror. She had witnessed 
her father's death. I looked at her and actually took a step towards 
her. She changed focus from her father to me. When she saw me, she got 
up and took a step back. 
 
Looking at myself, I noticed that blood was flowing from my right 
breast. Enough blood came out that my bright yellow windbreaker had 
developed a large bloodstain. Most of the blood was probably from 
Karen's father. 
 
I took another step towards the little girl, desperate to get my hands 
on her, but she took two steps back for my one step, and as I realized 
that every step I took towards her actually increased the distance 
between me and her, I stopped completely and let the little girl run 
away. 
 
A bloodstained boy chasing a child might make bystanders nervous, so I 
took off my bloodstained windbreaker and threw it into a bush before 
walking towards Karen again. She didn't have anywhere to go, so I was 
confident I'd catch her eventually. 
 
---- 
 
ONE MONTH LATER 
 
I walked to my bedroom window and looked out into the suburbs. It was 
afternoon and the clouds were grey. The houses all looked serene. Most 
houses had many cars parked in the driveway. It was Christmas, and 
government regulations forced most businesses to close today. This was 
why most people stayed at home, which was why so many cars were in the 
driveway. 
 
The living room looked different during the holiday period. Although we 
still had artwork on the walls and antiques displayed on benches, we 
also had a Christmas tree in one corner of the room. The couch was in 
the middle of the room and Dad was sitting on it. He watched TV by 
himself. From the living room I could see outside through giant glass 
sliding doors into the backyard. The sun was setting outside. 
 
We adopted Karen permanently. She was now legally my little sister. My 
parents initially wanted to be fashionable and adopt an infant girl 
from China, but now that we had Karen we were going to postpone the 
Chinese adoption because my parents didn't want to take care of too 
many children at once.  
 
My eyes scanned the living room again. Karen sat by the many presents 
piled up underneath the Christmas tree. The little girl wore a pale 
lime green tank top and a denim skirt that went down to her thighs. She 
wore black socks with no shoes. The socks were short and barely covered 
her shins. Her smooth legs were exposed to me. She saw me approaching 
and looked up at me. 
 
"Do you have a present for me?" she asked. 
 
I kneeled down on the carpet. "Yes, I do have a present for you, little 
Ladybug." 
 
She giggled before leaning underneath the Christmas tree. She stared at 
the fireplace for a moment.  
 
I noticed that Karen looked really nice as she stared at the fire with 
her little mouth opened in wonder. She stared at the fire as if she had 
never seen flames before. A moment later, she looked at me as if she 
had caught me staring at her. 
 
"Do you have a present for me, Philip?" 
 
"It's in my bedroom." 
 
"Can I see it?" 
 
"Come up to my room then." 
 
Karen picked up both her presents and followed me as I walked out of 
the living room. Both she and I arrived in my bedroom a few minutes 
later.  
 
I kneeled on the carpet and took out my Christmas gift. The little girl 
closed the door behind her as she entered. Sensing darkness outside, 
she turned on my desk lamp and sat on my bed. Since the desk lamp faced 
down on my desk, most of the light in the room was a reflection of 
light bouncing from the surface of the desk. 
 
"Here it is," I said, holding up a box. 
 
Karen grabbed the big box and started tearing away the wrapping paper. 
When she tore off all the wrapping paper, she held up the box and said, 
"What's this?" 
 
"It's a box. Open it up."  
 
The little girl opened the box. Inside was a small dog lying in a pile 
of shredded newspapers. 
 
She looked at me. "You got me a puppy dog?" 
 
"You don't like it?" 
 
"I like it!" She reached inside and touched the dog with a finger. "Why 
is it not moving?" 
 
"It's tired from being in a box for so long," I said. 
 
Lily stared at the dog for a few seconds before looking up at me. When 
we made eye contact, she smiled briefly. 
 
Elron walked into the room and the dog started barking. 
 
---- 
 
I woke up and before my eyes was the bedside clock whose LED display 
read 9:00 AM. This was unusual because usually I got up much later, 
maybe four hours later. When I noticed someone poking me through my 
pajamas, I turned around and saw Karen. She was also in her pajamas, 
light yellow pajamas. 
 
"Philip," said Karen. "I'm hungry." 
 
"You're always hungry." 
 
Since my mom and dad often worked, I often had a chance of babysitting 
the little girl. I often pretended that I didn't want to do this, but 
really I did. 
 
I got out of bed and put on my slippers. "What do you want to eat?" 
 
"I want pancakes." 
 
"That takes a long time to make." 
 
"I'll go have a shower and when I finish it will be ready. Okay, 
Philip?" 
 
I loved it when Karen had a shower. As I heard the little girl 
scurrying off into the bathroom, I loaded up my computer. You see, I've 
installed a high definition spy camera in the bathroom. This camera 
beams the images back to my PC.  
 
When I loaded up the program, I saw Karen standing in the shower naked. 
The actual camera was inside the shower, behind one of the tiles near 
the soap holder. There was a small hole in the wall that everyone 
thought was for leftover water from the soap holder to drain. I had to 
zoom out a little to see most of Karen's beautiful body. In particular 
I liked the little girl's hairless vagina. It was so small and cute. 
 
Whenever my mom had a shower she would furiously rub her whole body. It 
was as if she were trying to get the job over and done with as quickly 
as possible so she could get out and do something else. Karen, on the 
other hand, often took her time in the shower. As I watched her, I 
noticed she was barely moving, just letting the warm water trickle down 
her body. 
 
I pulled out my penis from underneath my pajamas and started 
masturbating. 
 
Karen has been my little sister for under a month now. In that time I 
have kissed her on the mouth once. She was trying to mimic what she had 
seen on TV. The kiss only lasted two seconds though because Karen 
complained it felt funny. Another time little Karen was scared and 
wanted to sleep in my bed. While she slept with me I rubbed my penis on 
her body. It reminded me of when I first kidnapped her. I haven't done 
anything more extreme than that because I didn't want her getting upset 
when she grew up, but I've been recording videos and pictures of the 
little girl so much that I had almost 20 gigabytes of CDs with images 
of her. It was all encrypted of course, all stored away for my private 
needs. 
 
I have already installed a spy camera in the shower, but my next plan 
is to install a spy camera in the family toilets so I can get audio-
visuals of my little sister's intricate vaginal and anal movements as 
she defecated and urinated. I would experience the sight, the sounds, 
but unfortunately not the smells. This was my next step once I got 
tired of masturbating to images of little Karen naked in the shower. 
 
I may not be the best brother, but at least little Karen wasn't with 
her old father.  
 
THE END
<1st attachment end>


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