Message-ID: <7091eli$9803211205@qz.little-neck.ny.us>
From: Lady Cyrrh <LadyCyrrh@aol.com>
Subject: The Annex Reviews, 3/20/98
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Re authors reviewing authors on ASSD:

What a great development! I hope more writers share their 
opinions. Writers give feedback reviewers don't. Many times I 
want to go more into detail about a certain story, saying why I 
liked it or didn't like it, but as a reviewer I have to maintain a 
certain neutrality. My reader's opinions don't matter, but my 
technical ones do: that is, saying if something is well-written or 
not, and whether or not the story does the job it sets out to do. It's 
also part of my job to give a brief summarization so readers can 
tell if it's something they would be interested in reading 
themselves, and when you add these all up, I'm often strapped for 
space. I hope more authors answer the challenge.


The stories:

My Ponygirl Fantasy, Chapters 1 and 2, by Connie (M/F, ponygirl)
The Barn, by FirmHand23 (M/F, D/s, enema, humil)
An Orange Bird Flew, by Twice (M/F rom)
Babel, by Hel Berger (M/m, rape)
Four Ball, by Saffy 8 (F/F, rom)
Adult--story for men, by MeCC (M/F rom)
The Shave, by Ombligo (F mast, shaving)


My Ponygirl Fantasy, Chapters 1 and 2 [A-]
When posted: 3/13/98
Where posted: ASSD, ASSM
Author: Connie
Address: conniew@gte.net

It's always tricky rating only the first few chapters of something, 
especially if it's before the main action hasn't started yet. Some 
stories never live up to their promise, while others keep 
repeating themselves ad infinitum.

That said, this was an interesting ponygirl fantasy. The 
narrator...I *think* it's a man...applies for a stablekeeping job. 
He meets his new employer in a restaurant and is told the 
"ponies" are women who are into sexual role-playing. The 
stablemaster even has a website, where prospective ponygirl 
buyers can call up pictures of the goods and receive certificates 
of ownership. Does a site like this really exist somewhere? I 
wonder...

Although this is just the beginning, the story has a lot going for 
it...the tone is literate and engaging, the tension and revelations 
are nicely handled, and there's a fertile imagination at work in 
the detailing of the web site. If you've ever wanted a tattooed 
ponygirl of your own (the registration numbers are imprinted 
on the thigh and inside the upper lip) check this out.


The Barn [C]
When posted: 3/12/98
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
Author: FirmHand23
Address: firmhand23@aol.com

A nameless guy punishes the narrator of this story by taking her 
down to the barn, where he spread-eagles her, sticks a vibrating 
butt plug in her anus, and then gives her enema, all of which is 
designed to get her behaving "like the perfect submissive slut." 
That sums the story up.

There wasn't much to enthuse about in this story, which read like 
something popped off in five minutes for an adult BBS. There was 
no real plot, no buildup of tension, and the descriptions of the sex 
acts were perfunctory and tepid. It's been done before, and done 
better. However, it was short, so probably wouldn't count as a 
major waste of your time if you decide to read it. And it taught me 
a new slang word for anus: "crinkle."


An Orange Bird Flew [A-]
When posted: 3/14/98
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
Author: Twice
Address: monstar55@hotmail.com

Literary erotica is a rare bird in the ASS newsgroups. I had the 
feeling this author tried very hard to write an uplifting, 
meaningful and sexy piece of erotica that would like to hang out 
on the desk of a New York editor of a major publishing house. By 
ASS standards, it's pretty good. By New York editor ones, though, 
it's a formless retread.

The story is told through the impressions of an older woman 
watching the sunset, thinking about the three multinational 
lovers she has known. The language was handled well, and waxed 
poetic in parts. However, I found myself skimming over the sex 
sections. Why? When you've read over 300 sex stories, the act gets 
pretty old unless it's presented in a new or especially 
entertaining way, or the story's plot or characters involve you to 
the point where you eagerly read their sexual adventures as well. 
This story did neither, though, as I said, it was well written; but I 
really wanted a plot.

If you're not too picky about your literary erotica, you will like 
this.


Four Ball [A+]
When posted: 3/10/98
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
Author: Saffy 8
Address: concorde@tande.com

Golf and an intergenerational lesbian affair feature in this story, 
which had a believable, interesting plot *and* lively, intelligent 
characterization. A group of older women...mainly upper middle 
class stay-at-homes wives...meets regularly to play golf, and on 
one outing one of the women brings her college-age daughter 
Toni along. Toni is a snot, but she develops a rapport with Fran, 
the narrator, who is the only one of group to have a career (she's 
a professor.) It starts to rain on the course, and the two seek 
shelter in the golf cart, where they have sex. Later they return to 
the clubhouse to join Toni's mom Elena in the spa where she's 
waiting for a massage. Fran obliges her in more ways than 
one...bringing both mother and daughter to orgasm in a single 
afternoon.

Realistic, with believable characters and situations. Read it even 
if you don't like golf.


Babel [A]
When posted: 3/6/98
Where posted: ASSGM
Author: Hel Berger
Address: kevinismylove@hotmail.com

Historical sex stories are rare in the ASS hierarchy, though they 
do pop up from time to time. This one was set in 19th century New 
Orleans. The narrator is a young male whore who dresses as a girl 
to lure unsuspecting men to be gang-raped by his compatriots. 
They do a number on one guy, but victim returns later to get his 
revenge on the narrator, and the biter becomes the bitten. This 
*was* mainly a rape/torture story (and be warned) but the 
genteel tone made it less squicky than others of its genre; in fact, 
it almost read like a fine, literary translation from another 
language. Frankly detailed, but not crass. You don't have to be 
embarrassed about reading it.


Adult--story for men [C]
When posted: 3/14/98
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
Author: MeCC 
Address: mecc@preferred.com

You can often judge a story by its title. This story is such a case. 
It's an uncreative, insipid title, and this was an uncreative, 
insipid story. Written in second person "You know this is a very 
special night" voice, the narrator describes a room with a "feeling 
of serenity and peace" and tells the unnamed male "You find 
yourself drawn to the color crimson that the bed has been 
dawned in." Uh, excuse me? Later there is a "there is a monstrous 
storm about to take part" with a "flask of lighting." At this point 
the narrator appears in a white baby doll nightie, caresses the 
mysterious "you" a bit, and sucks his cock. 

Harlequin romance novel fans might like this, but I don't think 
anyone else would.


The Shave [B-/C]
When posted: 3/16/98
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
Author: Ombligo
Address: ombligo@xtalwind.net

I thought it would be hard to top the silliness factor of the 
preceding story, but this one passes it easily. Lori, a young 
woman with pubic hair up to her waist (!!) submits to a shave 
from her lover. As she muses about all the joy her thatch of thick 
black curls has brought her ("Lori had always been proud of her 
hair and took extra pains to regularly shampoo and condition it; 
even giving it an occasional hot oil treatment"  "She remembered 
how she had vowed to celebrate each new hair by repeating her 
masturbatory discovery.") it's shaved off, bit by bit, causing her 
equal mixtures of nostalgia and distress. Come on. Does anyone 
really give a shit about their pubic hair, except that it doesn't get 
too grungy?

Maybe someone who's into pubic hair would like this, I don't 
know.


Comments to: ladycyrrh@aol.com
Website--->  http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh



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