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From: Bookman Archives <readebks@wolfenet.COM>
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Subject: RP: The Bandit
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(Note: I am not the author, only the archivist.
The following story deals with explicit sex. If you're not old enough
to be here, you're not old enough to read it. Scram.)
This is, quite simply, one of the best novellas I've read.
Circumstancial evidence indicates that the author is "Metlay", but I've
not been able to find anything further in DejaNews or 411. Whoever
Metlay is, he's one hell of a writer.
This is not so much a sex story as a story of growing up. You probably
won't read this one-handed, but you won't forget it, either. Enjoy.
THE BANDIT
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PROLOGUE: It has a mind of its own
Late winter 1982.
The room was bathed in fanned rays of yellow light, the glare of the
streetlight outside the window only partially shuttered out by the Venetian
blinds. It wasn't a terribly cluttered or fancy room, bunk bed at one end,
desk at the other, two closets and chests of drawers, mirrors and
bookshelves. The walls were grey cinderblocks and the floor was
institutional brown tile, a choice of a practical rather than esthetic nature.
But that wasn't to say that the room had no character, far from it. It wasn't
easy for a lowly teenager to make a dent in the Establishment's effort to
create anonymous conformity, but it could be done. The center of the
floor was covered by a huge Persian rug, and the walls were adorned with
Roger Deal landscapes, here an ethereal stone staircase over a cloudy sky,
there a desert island floating in the clouds, and over there a huge mesa, a
lake at its top, sheeting down water on all sides. And there weren't many
other rooms in the building that would have had furniture like that next to
the desk, a keyboard stand witt a small synthesizer, a pair of boxy guitar
amps, a beautiful old Les Paul on a stand, and a hideously-customized old
Rickenbacker base beside it, a sort of "American Gothic" with guitars
instead of the old farmer and his wife. The bunk bed was occupied, top
and bottom, and gentle breathing could be heard from both of the beds.
Up top, two bodies were intertwined under the thick blankets, sleeping the
sleep of the beloved. Down below, a single body was stretched out and
gently snoring, head thrown back on the thick pillow, arms and legs
akimbo. Suddenly, a tiny rustling motion came from beneath the blanket
of the lower bunk. A small, moving lump appeared under the blanket,
slowly and laboriously moving across to the edge of the bed. At the edge
it hesitated, trembling, then cautiously nosed out from under the covers.
The Bandit's penis was going exploring.
It looked to the left and right, carefully sniffing the air for anything
out of the ordinary and listening for any strange sound that might mean
trouble. Satisfied at last, it gathered itself carefully, and jumped lightly
down onto the carpet, glans first. It was an undignified way to land, that
was for certain, but it knew from experience that it was a hell of a lot nicer
than landing on its balls. It scrambled upright and immediately scurried to
the protection of the bass on its stand, in case someone might see it. It
paused for a minute or two, waiting anxiously for that fatal gasp or scream
in the darkness. None came.
Relieved, the Bandit's penis began to explore its surroundings in
somewhat greater comfort. It paused to lovingly stroke the bottom of the
bass with its head, luxuriating in the feel of the cool, smooth lacquered
wood against its skin. God, it loved that instrument. It always wished that
the Bandit would play it naked one of these days, so it could feel the bass's
body resonating against it without the Bandit's thrice-damned pants in the
way. The insistent throb of the deep, powerful notes was so erotic, and
there it was, stuffed into a pair of BVDs while the Bandit got to have all
the fun! Sometimes life just wasn't fair.
The Les Paul was nearby, gleaming black in the night. The Bandit's
penis gazed up at it a bit fearfully, and wondered if Zero's penis felt the
same way about the guitar that it did about the bass. It would have to ask,
someday, but frankly it doubted if it had the courage to put forth the
question. The Bandit's penis was terrified of Zero's. So was every other
penis in the building. Or anywhere else on the campus, for that matter.
The Bandit's penis shivered at the thought of meeting it out here in the
dark....
The penis looked up at the synthesizer, and wondered at the flat black
metal of its base. It was a strange one, that box. It shrieked, moaned,
wailed and thundered. A lot like Diva when she was coming, actually.
The Bandit's penis chuckled at that one; Diva made him laugh more often
than not.
Diva. The Bandit's penis turned around and squinted up through the
dim light at the upper bunk. There, perilously near the edge, was a
blanketed back, wide and gently curved, and a generous pair of buttocks
clearly outlined beneath the fabric. Zero was a lucky guy, that was for
sure. She was smart, talented, friendly...well, to most people. The
Bandit's penis shrank a bit as she thought of the looks Diva gave the
Bandit. Why doesn't she like him, it wondered. He sure likes her well
enough. Hmm, maybe that's the problem. Well, it's not my place to
advise him on such things. Onward!
The Bandit's penis sauntered under the music stand, and clambered
into the closet. There was the Bandit's old laundry bag, smelling of sweat,
and dirt, and.... Suddenly the penis stopped, stiffening, and sniffed deeply
at the bag. Good Lord above, it thought, there's a pair of panties in there!
Now who in the heck--
Oh. Right. Silly of me.
The Bandit's penis wilted completely and slumped into a dejected
heap. Oh, damn, it wailed, why'd I have to find those? She probably put
them in there to be cleaned, the last night they slept together, and he hasn't
given them back yet. Damn!
It thought miserably of the wonderful warm nights through the winter
that the Bandit had spent with Teenie, before she'd broken up with him
and left him alone and cold and miserable and horny and frustrated and....
it could remember every inch of her, her long lustrous black hair with the
glorious red highlights that took her forever to comb, her wonderful firm
lips that the Bandit wasn't allowed to kiss too hard because she'd be too
sore to play the clarinet, her beautiful breasts with their rosy-pink nipples
and virtually nothing else to them, her slim, tight torso with the razor-
sharp hip bones, her-- The Bandit's penis sat up again. Maybe it wasn't
such a bad thing that she left after all, it decided. The Bandit can do
better. I hope.
It hopped down from the closet and waddled comically along the
wall, past the dressers and mirror and back toward the bed. Ah, it's
wonderful to get out and about in the cool and quiet of night! Pity the
poor female, whose privates never get out to see the world and get a bit of
exercise. It did a few somersaults, just for fun, and rolled over to the foot
of the bed. The first faint light of the rising sun was starting to tinge the
stark yellow of the lights outside, and it glanced at the luminous dial of the
alarm clock nearby to see what time it was.
It read 6:57.
The Bandit's penis was glad it didn't have any vocal cords, because it
would've screamed blue murder right then. Three minutes to seven? Dear
GOD!
Frantically it waddled over to the end of the bed, cursing the pain in
its balls. A lot like walking on sore feet, it supposed. Really sore feet,
that is. The bedclothes were loose and dangling almost to the floor, as
usual; fortunately the Bandit was a pretty sloppy hand at making beds. It
strained upward, and just managed to hook itself in the little cusp of the
partially- tucked blanket. With a mighty heave, it levered itself up to the
level of the mattress. For a split second, it lost its balance, and teetered on
the edge of the bed, visions of a long fall right onto its balls playing
grotesquely in its terrified imagination, but it recovered itself with a
desperate lunge and lay panting for a few moments. The lump under the
covers quickly shuffled up the length of the bed, between the sprawlingly
spread legs, and stopped.
For perhaps a half minute, all was still.
Then the alarm clock began to blare heavy metal music at an ungodly
volume, silenced a moment later by a groggily-aimed fist smashing down
on the SNOOZE button. The Bandit remained frozen in midreach for a
moment, body half raised from the mattress, then collapsed back into bed.
Above him, he heard a moan, a light kiss, indecipherable whispers.
Then a pair of shapely legs appeared over the edge of the bed, followed by
a meaty but well-rounded pair of buttocks, demurely clad in purple
panties. With a graceless thump, Diva dropped to the carpet and hastily
began to dress. She didn't turn around; the Bandit was watching her, and
she knew he was watching her, and what was worst, HE knew that she
knew that he was watching her and that wasn't stopping him.
Another pair of legs, much skinnier and covered with hair, appeared
at the foot of the bed, and gingerly turned around, hunting for footing.
Zero climbed down to floor level, muttering, "Morning, Bandit. Sleep
well?"
"No," the Bandit responded. "Not at all." He scratched his groin and
swung his legs out from under the covers, smacking his lips distastefully
at the awful layer of perdition in his mouth. He blinked, trying to
remember the fragments of something very near, yet too nebulous to
touch.
"I'm never going to sleep on a full stomach again," he vowed wearily.
"Pizza with mushrooms and onions gives you the WEIRDEST dreams!"
PART 1: some introductions
Late January 1982
"I don't want to start like that. And again...two, three, four...."
"Hold it, HOLD IT!" The Bandit held up a hand and waved
frantically, making disgusted faces. Zero raised an eyebrow at the spastic
display, but willingly shut off the tape recorder.
"Something the matter?"
"YES, God damn your oversized beak!" The Bandit glared furiously
at Zero, fists on hips.
Zero self-consciously rubbed the bridge of his nose, which was quite
frankly a tremendously outsized appendage for the face upon which it
rested, a bit of Cherokee ancestry that wouldn't have been out of place on a
nickel.
"What is it? And calm down, you look like you're about to explode."
"You promised me NO clichés and NO stuff stolen from other
people!"
"Well, of course not," Zero replied, looking hurt. "But we haven't
even started playing yet...."
"You know damn well what I mean!" The Bandit rewound the tape,
still glaring at Zero. "That 'I don't wanna start like that' line is straight off
of a Robert Fripp song! Now, NO FRIPP!"
"It is? Oh, so it is." Zero scratched his head and smiled sheepishly.
"It's from the prologue of his first album, isn't it? The one that leads into--"
"No, don't start! DON'T START! Or you'll set me off and we won't
get ANYTHING recorded!" The Bandit waved him to silence. Zero
grinned at him, and began to play a lightning series of guitar chords, his
hands moving in an inhuman blur. The Bandit was reaching to turn off the
amp, when the door opened and Diva stuck her head in.
"What on Earth are you two DOING?"
The Bandit stopped dead in his tracks, his scowl deepening. One
thing I don't need right now, he thought grimly, is the Diva on my case.
As Zero came to the turnaround, the Bandit kicked in the drum box at an
ear shattering volume, and spun around to face her with a wide grin as he
joined Zero in the song. To hell with composing, he thought gleefully. I'd
rather torture Diva any day!
"You burn me up, I'm a Cigarette,
Take hold of my hand and I begin to sweat
You make me nervous, oo woo, I'm nervous
This must be real bad karma for this to be my dharma
With you-woo-woo...."
Diva looked irritable, as she always did when the Bandit ever said
anything to her, and began to back out of the room. Suddenly another face
appeared behind hers, blocking the way as she tried to look into the room.
Twink, trying to be heard over the din, cried, "What's the name of--"
The Bandit's gorge catapulted into his throat at the sight of her, and
his grin turned demonic as he aimed the next verse down her throat like a
whaling gaff.
"You burn me up I'm a cigarette,
Life with you is a losing bet
You drive me crazy, eeyow, I'm going CRAZY!
Musical elation is my only consolation
From you-woo-woo!"
Twink bit her lip and backed off, reddening, and Diva hustled out of
the room behind her, the slamming door unnoticed in the chorus.
"Strategic interaction irreducible fraction
Terminal inaction from a bitter hostile faction
I'm getting anxious
I'm FRANXIOUS
Transactional diseases are the only thing that pleases We...."
It took another verse or two for the song to wind down, by which
time the pounding on the door was enough to wake the dead. The Bandit
was laughing like a lunatic, and Zero's normally placid smile was a good
deal wider than it should have been, as they set down their instruments and
opened the door.
"Eeee, yessssss?" the Bandit asked, opening the door and batting his
eyelashes like Bugs Bunny in drag.
Conan gave the Bandit a big grin, and said, "Quiet or I'll kill you."
He flexed every muscle in his magnificent torso for emphasis. The
Bandit, who'd seen it all before, just yawned.
"Oh, hello, Conan," Zero volunteered. "Come to sit in?"
"I've come to squash you both like rotten grapes beneath my feet,"
Conan replied good-naturedly. "Either you turn it down to a civilized
level or you get force-fed your guitars."
"Some people are so touchy," The Bandit lamented.
"It's our punishment for rooming with heathen," Zero agreed. "What
do they know about art, anyway?" He turned off the beatbox and the amp,
sighing.
Mollified, Conan turned on his heel and stalked back across the
living room to the other double bedroom in the quad. He gingerly stepped
over Starch, Lanky, Plaids, and Mimosa, who were sitting and listening
raptly to the Rainbow Wizard, who was holding forth from his beanbag
chair with one arm gently caressing the smooth curve of Mary
Magdalene's hip. As he shut the door, the Rainbow Wizard called after
him, "Thanks for quieting them down, Conan. We couldn't hear ourselves
think."
"I didn't shut them up for your sake," Conan replied easily. "I need to
get some sleep before the graveyard shift." His door slammed.
"Most people CAN'T hear themselves think, Wiz," the Bandit said,
his appetite for music suddenly gone. "Just because *you* can, don't
assume that it's vital to everyone else. Besides, who wants to listen to
grinding gears anyway?"
"That's unnecessary!" Lanky said indignantly, sweeping a long trail
of black hair out of his eyes, his neckbell jingling as he moved.
"I just got finished *saying* that," the Bandit retorted. "Especially
when he can *smell* himself think at the same time! Peeyew! I nearly
called the Fire Department; it smelled like a short in the stereo!"
Zero made it a point never to get involved in the wrangling between
the Bandit and the Wiz, but he knew when points were scored. He let his
smile widen a bit, which was a real outpouring of emotion for him. Mary
Magdalene actually smiled, though, and *that* was a major tactical
victory for the Bandit.
The Bandit saw the smile, and nodded, hastily reaching for his coat.
"Let's call it quits for a bit, Zero; it's getting way too stupid for me in
here."
"Right behind you, kemosabe," Zero replied, fetching his coat and
scarf from the closet.
The Rainbow Wizard sighed loudly, half in anger at the Bandit's
attitude, half in relief in getting him out of his hair for a while, but Lanky
wasn't letting the Bandit get off that easily. "You ought to try listening
rather than poking fun once in a while, Bandit. You might learn
something. Wouldn't that be a shame?"
"Every Messiah needs his Antichrist, Lanky m'boy," the Bandit said
gaily, zipping up his jacket. "Otherwise, who'd the Faithful have to blame
for their troubles?" He turned and headed out the door, Zero behind him.
"Bandit?"
The low, throbbing voice grabbed him by the crotch and did its best
to spin him around and pull him back, penis first. The Bandit's back was
turned to the others, so nobody saw the flash of emotion in his face. Was
it anger, fear, or just lust?
He turned around casually, his face a neutral mask. "Yo?"
Mary Magdalene gave him her best smile, asking, "Don't you wear
the neckbell I gave you? Even Zero and Diva wear theirs...."
The Bandit looked sidelong at Zero, and gave him a poke in the chest.
No jingle, however muffled, answered the poke. "They do?"
Zero smiled at Mary Magdalene and said softly, "We keep ours at
Diva's place. No real use in wearing them around here."
"But a neckbell is meant to be worn, and to be used, when you feel
lonely or left out!" Mary Magdalene jingled hers lightly, and was instantly
rewarded with a kiss from the Rainbow Wizard.
"Not a problem," Zero said mildly.
"Don't feel badly, Mary-Mag," the Bandit said with a raffish grin. "I
wear mine all the time. See?" He reached under his coat and hauled out
the tiny brass neckbell on its braided chain. He shook it gently.
It didn't make a sound.
The Bandit grinned at her look of confusion, and said, "I pulled out
the clapper. 'Bye, now!" The door slammed on five shocked looks.
"Ain't I a stinker?" The Bandit grinned.
"The absolute pits, kemosabe," Zero agreed. "That was *really*
low."
The pair bundled up as they walked down the hall to the stairwell,
and down the few steps to the side door. "It was worth it," the Bandit said,
straightening his beret. "The look on that pompous shit's face...."
"You really hurt Mary Magdalene's feelings, though," Zero reminded
him. "The Wiz wasn't the one who gave you that bell; *she* was."
"For her cold borscht my heart bleeds," the Bandit growled. "If the
world depended on my concern for her feelings, Ronnie would've dropped
the bomb on Andropov already."
"Oh, really," Zero said mildly. "And what happened to all that stuff
about 'God, she's beautiful' and 'I wish she'd at least pay attention to me'
and so on and so forth?"
"Past history," the Bandit replied with ice in his voice. "I met her two
years ago, before either you or the Wiz started here, and I will freely admit
that she knocked me flat on my ass. But she ended up getting into this
soulmate stuff with the Wiz before I had a chance with her, and for that I
owe him a big debt of gratitude."
"You? Owe the Wizard *anything*? Why, for Set's sake?"
"Because in rooming with the Wiz, which seemed like a damned
good idea at the time, please forgive me--"
"Long since forgiven. Say on."
"--I had a chance to see what's going on inside her head. Man, it is
*scary* in there!"
"There are crazier people in Arcadia, Bandit."
"I'm not so sure. That woman's in her own little fairy kingdom!"
The hard-packed snow crunched under their boots as they made their
way across the gleaming white expanses of the Eastern Quadrangle, past
the Virgin Vault, the Roach Motel, and the Lovepile. Up ahead, Scum
Central was already surrounded by a growing crowd of students, filing in
for dinner.
"Don't worry your pointed little skull about it, Zero," the Bandit said
mildly, kicking the snow from his boots and shivering as he stepped across
the threshold. "I'm leaving well enough alo--HEY! TEENIE!"
The skinny young girl by the coat rack looked up like a frightened
deer, terror in her eyes. She took a half step back as the Bandit came over
to her, smiling.
"H--hi, Bandit." Her voice was a dry whisper.
"Hello, sweetheart. Just going in to dinner?"
"Just coming out." She grabbed her coat from the rack, and
shouldered into it hastily. "I have to get over to the rehearsal hall...."
"Hey, hold on a second!" The Bandit's forearm came up, barring her
escape. "You've been avoiding me every chance you've had for nearly a
month now. When you said you didn't want to see me any more, I let you
go with no questions asked, and frankly I have been *miserable* since
then. I love you and I miss you! Couldn't you at least give me an
explanation?"
"Just leave me alone." Teenie pushed past him, not meeting his eyes.
He watched her hurry into the snow, his eyes tortured.
Zero, who'd been standing nearby, shook his head. "Bad karma,
bro'."
"No shit," the Bandit muttered, his eyes still on the doorway. "What
the hell's got her so spooked?"
"No clue," Zero said mildly, doffing his coat.
"Multitudinous thanks for essentially nada," the Bandit snapped.
"Mellow out. You'll be so wound up we won't be able to play after
dinner. Just calm down and relax, okay?"
The Bandit glared at Zero for a moment, then sighed, his expression
softening. "Yeah, okay. You're right." He walked over to the entryway
and ran his data card through the debit machine, then took a place in the
food line. "It could be worse," he said philosophically. "I could have to
eat with--"
"HEEYOW! ZERO THE GUITAR HERO AND THE DREADED
BANDIT!"
The yell split the calm murmur in the cafeteria like a knife. Zero
winced, and the Bandit rolled his eyes, finishing his sentence.
"--Livewire."
A curly-headed spring of raw energy uncoiled itself in a long leap
over the decorative planters dividing the line from the eating area. One
trailing foot caught the edge of a planter, toppling it and scattering dirt
across a wide swath of carpet. Livewire didn't even look behind him as
the plant hit the floor with a rustling crash, his grin from ear to ear as he
gave first Zero, then the Bandit, a food-spilling whack on the back.
"Heyyy, how you guys doin, nice to see ya, listen, I got us a big table
over in the corner with lotsa seats, look for us over there it'll be a kick, see
you soon gotta get back my burger's getting cold, hurry it up!"
Another leap and he was gone. Zero shook his head in awe. "What a
marvelous human being," he said with a smile. "Utterly untroubled by
anything resembling common sense. It's a miracle he's survived to
adolescence!"
"Be still my heart," the Bandit sighed. "More indigestion tonight."
"Hey! Bandit?"
The Bandit winced at the familiar voice, then plastered on a smile as
Twink came over, a glass of something in her hand. The Bandit glanced at
it. Milk. Just plain old white milk. Typical.
"Need a place to sit? I'd just love your company," Twink cooed, her
voice a poor imitation of Mary Magdalene's. "It'll give you a chance to
make up for how rude you were over at the dorm." She tossed her blonde
hair out of her eyes and gave him what she must have thought was a
demure look, but came off more like a cartoon caricature of a whore's leer.
The Bandit's speech centers suffered a severe lockup as eighteen
suitable rejoinders arrived at his larynx simultaneously and shorted each
other out, and he glared at her.
Then, suddenly, he smiled.
"You wouldn't happen to be sitting with Livewire, would you?"
She smiled brightly at his softened tone. "No! I'm all alone by
myself. But if you want, we could move over there! Livewire's there,
with Diva and Bone and Thunder and--"
"No, that's all right," the Bandit said hastily. "I'd *love* a nice, quiet
meal with you. You go on ahead, Zero; I'll see you after dinner."
Zero looked at him, then at Twink, then over at the waiting delights
of the corner table, where Bone and Thunder were joking with Livewire,
and Diva was casting him pleading looks. He shrugged. "Okay."
"Great! This way," Twink said, leading the Bandit to a small table for
two in the Annex, her hips weaving from side to side in a carefully
practiced imitation of Diva's sexy wiggle.
He found himself eyeing the shift and ripple of her buttocks as she
walked, and shook his head violently. If the Ultimate Ditz is giving you a
hard-on, kid, he told himself grimly, then you are in BAD shape.
PART 2: Various bedtimes
Early February 1982
The Bandit rubbed his eyes and put down the book, tucking his pen in
it for a bookmark. He sighed gustily and looked at the closed door to the
living room. Muffled sounds of conversation were coming from outside,
interspersed with shouts of raucous laughter: Conan, having some fun at
the expense of one of the Wiz's folks, no doubt. There was no sign of
Zero; it was becoming obvious that he'd be spending tonight in Diva's
room. Bummer.
On impulse, the Bandit walked swiftly to his cassette rack and
withdrew an album that he almost never played any more. He popped it
into the deck, pulled on his headphones, and began to disrobe.
"Oh very young, what will you leave us this time?
You're only dancing on this Earth for a short while,
And though your dreams may toss and turn you now...."
"Come to bed, liebchen," Diva smiled, stretching out languidly on the
narrow mattress. Her body wasn't a pin-up artist's wet dream by any
means: a bit heavy in the hips and thighs, just a hint of a double chin. But
her heavy breasts and sinuous torso had an appeal all their own, as did the
tawny patch of hair just above her swollen labia.
She licked her lips. "I'm thirsty."
Zero smiled at her as he undid the buckle on his belt and dropped his
pants to the floor. His straining underwear was stretched even more out of
shape than usual, and he walked over to her and waved the huge bulge in
front of her as he unbuttoned his shirt. "I can go get you a glass of water
from the bathroom," he offered politely. "Or did you have something else
in mind?"
"Hmmmm...." She rolled over onto her side, facing him and propping
up her head on one elbow. She licked her lips again, reaching out with her
free hand and giving the waistband of his underpants a tiny tug. The huge,
throbbing mass under the cloth shifted position and tried frantically to
escape, but didn't quite make it. She laughed lightly at the spectacle, and
ran a caressing hand over the scarcely-covered testicles, weighing them
gently. With another gentle tug, she finally pulled the waistband over the
tremendous obstruction keeping his underwear on, and the pants fell to the
ground.
Zero's penis was a terrifying club of throbbing meat dangling in her
face, as big around as a kolbassi and nearly ten inches long. It was the
kind of penis one tended to see in porn flicks, the sort of equipment that
always seemed to belong to the men submitting their life histories to the
Penthouse Forum. Most of the men who saw it coming out of the shower
or in the locker room turned pale and got very quiet, suddenly
selfconscious. Even Conan, who was put together like a stunt double for
Arnold Schwarzenegger, said of it, "All that meat on that skinny little
guy.... it's just not fair! He probably can't even manage a hard-on without
passing out!"
That obviously wasn't the case, as Diva could readily attest. It was
true, the weight of the organ was such that it never stood up at more than a
horizontal position even when fully hard, but that didn't matter to her. All
that mattered was where it went, and what it did when it got there. She
stuck her tongue out as far as it would go, and licked the underside of the
shaft, from the base to the tip of the swollen purple glans, and smacked her
lips delightedly. "Finger me," she said, "Finger me while I suck you dry."
Zero slid a teasing hand down the length of her belly and over her
pubic mound, searching for her clitoris. It was already oozing and swollen
as he touched it; there was no question but that she'd been playing with it
already before he'd gotten in. She was in no mood to waste time that
night, he decided, and proceeded to slide two fingers into her slick crack
as deeply as they could go. Diva grunted loudly, gently caught the huge
head of the bobbing member between her parted lips, and teased the slit
with the tip of her tongue, tasting the sticky pre-come there. His fingers
were finishing her work of the past three hours, and she felt her orgasm
surging up in her like a wave of molten lead. She smiled around the huge
knob between her lips, looked up at Zero with wide blue eyes like a child
asking for praise, and inhaled sharply.
It had taken months of practice with dildoes, but she'd learned to
relax her throat muscles and take his entire penis down her throat without
gagging, a trick none of his old girlfriends could ever have matched. It
made him her slave; he couldn't say no to her loving mouth, and the fact
that the act made him seem the dominant one only put a touch of kink in
the total control she exercised. But tonight she was too close to coming to
bother with teasing him. Her strong inhalation sucked the entire pulsing
member into her waiting mouth and down her throat, all the way down to
the base. She heaved up on the bed, hands on his buttocks, scrotum
flapping rhythmically against her dripping chin, and tried her best to
swallow his penis whole. And when she felt him hit bottom, she began to
hum.
That was all it took. Zero groaned and his legs shook as he dumped a
huge load of semen directly into her stomach, and her humming turned
into a confused series of muffled screams and gagging noises as she came
all over his hand, the warm flow of liquid in her belly sending her over the
edge. Zero, unable to endure the excess of stimulation, pulled his shaft
from her mouth, and she coughed up a thin stream of semen after it, a grey
line that trickled down her chin and onto her breast. She grabbed the still-
rigid rod and pulled as hard as she could, milking more fluid from it as she
pulled him down atop her and tried to feed his length into her sopping
vagina.
"Now that I've lost everything to you,
You say you want to start something new,
And it's breaking my heart, you're leaving,
And baby I'm grieving...."
Teenie stared at the ceiling in the darkness, arms at her sides, legs
tightly together. I wonder where he is tonight, she thought. Is he lonely?
Does he miss me? Or will he just haul out one of those disgusting
magazines from under the bed and pull on himself until he forgets about
me? Probably. That miserable son of a bitch. I did the right thing,
leaving him.
She rolled over and looked out the window at the drifting snow. It
had been snowing heavily for nearly a week now, and there was more to
come. She shivered. It was cold, even under her blankets. She frowned;
it hadn't always been this cold at night. But of course not; she'd had him
in bed with her then, cradling her in his arms and saying how he'd loved
her....
"Not tonight, Bandit. Please?"
"Sure, sweetheart. Not if you don't want to. Sleep well."
And that was all. No nasty hints, no pleas, no angry words or threats.
And later that night, when she was drifting in and out of sleep, she
remembered the sudden splash of something warm on her back, the gentle
hand that wiped away the stain, the kiss on her shoulder blade. He'd
gotten what he wanted anyway. He always did.
"I don't miss him." She said it out loud to the dark. "He used me as a
sex object. I don't need him. The Rainbow Wizard was right. He just
uses people, and throws them away. I'm better off alone now. I am...."
She rolled over again, and started suddenly to find a furtive hand
betwen her thighs. Angrily she moved her hand elsewhere, and firmly
shut her eyes. I'll say twenty Hail Marys tomorrow, she decided, and go to
Confession.
"Oh, I can't keep it in,
I can't keep it in I gotta let it out,
I gotta show the world, world's gotta see,
See all the love, love that's in me...."
Livewire staggered through the snow, singing off-key to himself. His
breath was thick with beer and vomit, and the front of his parka was
stained. He fell forward into the snow and lay there, panting.
I gotta get up. My face is cold, I got snow down my pants, man, that
really sucks serious dick. Shit. I'm tired. Maybe I should take a nap or
some shit, just rest a minute. I'll get up in a second. I'll count to three. I'll
count to ten. I'll count to three. One. two--
"Whugghh," he said, scrambling to hands and knees and heaving beer
and half-digested hamburgers into the snow. He wiped his mouth with
one hand and got to his feet, weaving. Up ahead, through the snow, he
could barely make out the front of the Eastern Habitat. He stumbled
forward wearily, one hand outstretched before him. There were the front
doors, up ahead, and there were the steps, and there-- he unconsciously
counted up four floors and over two windows-- was HER window. SHE
was asleep, looked like. Or she was fucking some football player or some
shit up there. Yeah! Fucking some football player while he was stuck out
here in the cold! Mother FUCKER!
"MOTHER FUCKER! YOU BITCH! I HATE YOU! I HOPE YOU
DIEEEEEEEE---"
Livewire went face down into the snow again, retching. At long last,
the last of the beer gone, he crawled up the steps and onto the porch. He
got one hand onto the door handle, and pulled feebly. The door hadn't
latched properly when the last resident had come in, and so it opened with
a click. He pulled himself inside, smiled happily at the warmth of the air
as the door shut and locked behind him, and finally, mercifully, passed
out.
"Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning,
Born of the one Light Eden saw play...."
The Rainbow Wizard held Mary Magdalene in his lap, gently
bouncing her up and down, up and down. Her smooth, wet pussy
alternately clasped and released his manhood, and he gently suckled on her
breast as she threw her head back and sighed in utter ecstasy.
"I love you."
"I love you."
"I love you."
"I love you."
Their whispers were a litany of love under the ceiling poster of
astrological signs that served as a canopy for Mary Magdalene's bed.
Unicorns adorned every wall, and posters of fantasy heroes with swords
and bloodied shields hung on the door and beneath the window. A quartz
crystal dangled before the single lit candle in the room, casting multiple
sparks of rainbow light over the two intertwined bodies.
"I love you."
"I love you."
"I love you."
"I love you."
Over and over again, the words were repeated, chewed into
meaningless mantric syllables as the surges of sexual release ebbed and
flowed forward, surged up and receded, never allowing release, again and
again and again....
"I love you."
"I love you."
"I love you."
"I love you."
Mary Magdalene felt the beginnings of his orgasm, the tightening in
his legs, the swelling in his loins, the thin sheen of sweat on his face. She
smiled at his expression, glad of his joy, and began to accelerate her
thrusts.
"I LOVE you!"
"I LOVE you!"
"I LOVE you!"
"I LOVE you!"
Suddenly he tensed, his legs splaying outward, and gasped as his seed
filled her to the brim and overflowed, sweet, sticky, glowing faintly in the
dim light. The hot fluid scalded her insides, bringing on a sudden orgasm
for her as well, swift, sharp as a dagger, and as suddenly gone.
"I--ugh--LOVE YOU!"
"UH! AH! I LOVE YOUUUUUUU....."
She fell forward across him, her carpet of black hair extinguishing the
candle, and kissed the long scar from his collarbone to his groin as he fell
into a deep sleep. Lovingly, with a worshiper's care, she lapped up the
softly glowing semen from his shrinking penis, licking it clean, then
snuggled up against him in the darkness. Her final whisper was a
benediction.
"I love you...."
"Now that I've passed your test,
How could I lie to you baby, I'll never make you sad...."
Twink laughed merrily, clutching her sides and rolling on the floor at
Conan's latest joke. Of course, she hadn't "gotten" it, at least she didn't
think she had, but she'd learned it was safer to pretend. When she asked
what things meant, people always groaned and looked funny at her, and
that was no fun at all.
Wiping her eyes, she got to her feet, and said, "Oh, Conan, that was a
scream! I love hearing your jokes."
"Great," Conan grinned, knowing damn well that she was trying to
hide the fact that she was totally clueless. God damn, what a total airhead!
How could anyone get as far as she did without learning *something*
about what was what, anyway?
"Is the Bandit coming back soon?" She phrased the question as
casually as she could.
"He's already asleep," Conan replied, inclining his head toward the
closed door to the room the Bandit shared with Zero.
"Oh!" Twink got up hastily, smoothing the skirt of her nightdress.
"Then I guess I should be going; I just wanted to talk to him, that's why I
came down here...."
"Well, there's me. Why don't you stick around for a while?" Conan
smiled winningly and stretched, flexing his muscles.
Twink looked into his eyes, her smile a frozen mask. She was
remembering the last time she'd stayed around with Conan to wait for the
Bandit: the dark, sweaty room, the awful, awful....THING stretching her
poor mouth out of shape, the taste of mucus and something else, his voice:
"Don't use your teeth, you stupid bitch! SUCK on it, don't try to chew it
up!"
"Thanks," she said with feeling, "But I'd die first." She cast one
longing look at the shut door keeping her from the Bandit, and fled into
the hallway.
Conan watched her leave, sighing. Women, he thought to himself.
What a fucked-up species. He opened the door to his half of the quad, and
noted that neither the Rainbow Wizard nor Mary Magdalene was
anywhere to be found. He sighed again. Well, he thought, dropping his
pants, at least I can beat off without having to listen to them whisper sweet
nothings to each other all night. Now where'd I leave that copy of
Hustler?
"Another Saturday night, and I ain't got nobody,
I got some money 'cause I just got paid,
How I wish I had someone to talk to,
I'm in an awful way."
The Bandit pulled off the headphones angrily and hurled them across
the room. "Fuck that shit," he muttered, rolling over and closing his eyes.
Across the room, the cassette deck finished playing the album in a
soft whir, and calmly shut itself off.
PART 3: Valentine's Day (just after midnight)
Mid-February 1982
The Bandit and Zero kicked the dirty grey snow off of their boots and
walked up the steps of the East Habitat. A quick ping of a security card in
the lock, and the door sighed open, brushing a warm breeze across their
faces from inside. They walked out of the dark and into the central
lounge, gratefully unzipping their coats. The usual late-night gang was
there, Thud holding court like a king in the chair by the coffee machine
and dealing a hand from his everpresent cribbage deck to Lanky and
Plaids. Conan was sprawled out on the couch, reading a paperback, and
the notes of an acoustic guitar wafted gently through the air as the
Rainbow Wizard played a love song for Mary Magdalene on a nearby
stretch of carpet.
"Hi, Zero, Bandit," Thud said pleasantly. "Cribbage?"
"Nope," Zero smiled. "Against my faith."
"What faith?" Thud sneered at him. "You're an agnostic, a
Crowleyite, or worse yet, a Satanist."
"True." Zero collapsed on the couch with a sigh.
Thud gave up. "Bandit?"
"No thanks, Thudlike. I'm on a diet."
"Suit yourself. I'm just worried about how long I can hold onto these
two. They just have no stamina! I mean, we've only played--"
"Twenty-one games," Lanky groaned.
"Twenty-two," Plaids corrected him. He got up, stretching, and
stalked off toward his room. "I quit." Lanky took the opportunity to make
his escape as well, leaving Thud alone, the cribbage hand half dealt to no
one.
"See what you did? Now what am I going to do?" Thud said angrily.
The Bandit smiled innocently. "Play Solitaire."
"You're the expert on games one plays alone," Thud replied
caustically.
"Ouch. I left myself wide open for that," The Bandit laughed. He
looked over at Conan, and asked, "Good book?"
Conan didn't look up. "Yup."
"What's it about?"
"I'm reading it for my Twentieth Century Literature class as an
elective," Conan said, eyes on the text. "I think the professor will get a
kick out of my report."
The Bandit leaned over and looked at the book cover. His wide
mouth split into a grin. "Bitch Goddesses of Thamazor?"
Conan didn't say a word; he only looked over at the Bandit and
winked.
Meanwhile, Zero had wandered over to where the Rainbow Wizard
was finishing another song for Mary Magdalene. After the song had
ended and Mary Magdalene was thanking the Rainbow Wizard with a kiss,
he cleared his throat politely. "Uh, c'n I borrow that for a moment, Wiz?"
"Mmmmmm," the Wizard said, pulling off the guitar awkwardly so
as not to break the kiss. He set the guitar down beside him, and threw
both arms around Mary Magdalene, bearing her down to the carpet on her
back.
"Thanks," Zero said.
"Mmmmmm," the Rainbow Wizard said.
"Mmmmmm," Mary Magdalene agreed. "Mmmm. Mmmmmm, mm
mmmm!"
"Mmmmmmmmmm," the Rainbow Wizard managed with a muffled
laugh. "Mmmmmm mmm mmmmmm mm mmmmm mmmmmm, mm
mmmmmmm...."
The conversation continued in that vein, broken by giggles on
occasion. Mary Magdalene rolled the Rainbow Wizard over onto his
back, and began to slowly rub herself up and down against his thigh. The
others in the lounge watched in fascination as her movements grew more
and more obvious in their intent.
Thud gaped. "Public fornication! That's DISGUSTING!"
Conan laughed quietly to himself. "Mary Magdalene in heat again?
Now THAT'S disgusting!"
The Bandit looked over at the two lovers cavorting at Zero's feet
while he nonchalantly tuned the guitar, and found his mouth going dry.
Oh, man, he thought. That lucky bastard. If only it could have been me....
He forced boredom into his voice. "Here we go again."
"No, dear boy," Thud corrected him with a sepulchural grin, "There
THEY go again. You, alas, have no place in the matter."
"Thanks for nothing." The Bandit looked away with an effort, picked
up the cards, and dealt himself a hand of Solitaire.
"Remember that playing with oneself is a sin, dear boy," Thud
smiled.
"I just wish you'd make up your mind, Thud," the Bandit muttered.
"Either join the Priesthood, or decide you're gay. But don't sit on the
fence, you're driving us all crazy!"
"I promise I'll make up my mind before I leave school," Thud said
with a placid, pious smile. He turned to watch Zero play, and the Bandit
risked looking in the direction of the two thrashing bodies on the floor to
better hear the music.
Zero was shy by nature, and rarely played in public, but his little
concerts drew more than their share of gossip. Every rock band on the
campus wanted him as a lead guitarist, for his blinding speed and perfect
articulation had become legendary. "If Mr. Spock played guitar," the
Bandit was fond of saying, "he'd sound like Zero." Doing his best to
ignore the moans of Mary Magdalene, who was obviously doing HER best
to come as quietly as possible on the Rainbow Wizard's thigh, Zero
torched his way through seven songs in seven minutes, including two
famous pop tunes, a Villa-Lobos guitar concerto excerpt, two songs by the
Bandit, one of his own tunes, and just to finish things with a flourish, a
raunched-up version of one of the Wiz's love ballads. Thud and the
Bandit applauded as he bowed and took off the guitar, and Conan tore
himself away from the Bitch Goddesses of Thamazor long enough to make
clapping motions with the paperback and his free hand. Zero, grinning
with pride, looked down at the people on the floor beside him.
His smile died. The Rainbow Wizard was cradling Mary Magdalene
in his arms, whispering in her ear as she sighed in the glow of post-
orgasmic peace and snuggled against his shoulder. They hadn't even
looked at him.
Zero looked outraged for the barest fraction of a second. Then he
saw the Bandit's wide grin out of the corner of his eye, and smiled
sheepishly, putting down the guitar next to Mary Magdalene.
"That was wonderful!"
He looked up at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, low and alluring.
Every other man in the room turned around as well; there was something
in that voice that demanded attention.
She was standing behind Zero, carrying a battered old guitar case in
one hand and brushing her hair back from her eyes with the other. She
was small, perhaps five feet two, with the lithe curves of a gymnast ill-
disguised by the flimsy blouse she wore. The Bandit's gaze flicked over
her in a practiced instant: tight, well-worn jeans with a patch over the
crotch, strong legs, light from the window behind her outlining her torso
through the shirt, and the particular jiggle and barely noticable tenting of
the fabric that bespoke small, slightly pointed breasts and no bra to hide
the nipples. Her eyes were blue and wide like a child's, and her freckled
face was scrubbed clean of makeup. She tucked a wayward strand of
wavy brown hair behind one ear, and continued, "I wish I could play like
that...."
Zero looked into her eyes, and came to an instant decision. "A lot of
people do," he said pleasantly, and turned away from her, walking out of
the lounge. She watched him go, her eyes puzzled.
"Oh, don't mind him," the Bandit said hurriedly, getting up from the
couch and striding over to her. "He just gets nervous when people
compliment him, that's all. Say, I haven't seen you around here before.
Did you just move in?"
She smiled at him, revealing tiny dimples. "Yes. I just transferred
here from Crystal City. This is my first semester. I'm called Flower."
"I'll just bet you are," the Bandit grinned. "And I am the one and
only Bandit. At your service, madam!" He took her proffered hand and
kissed it.
She withdrew the hand gently, smiling. "Pleased," she said.
The Bandit's grin grew even wider, if that were possible. He waved
to the assemblage in the lounge. "My merry men," he said. "Thud, Conan
on the couch there with the Bitch Goddesses of Thamazor, and, uh, oh,
yes! These two shameless exhibitionists at your feet are our very own Do-
it-Yourself Messiah, the Rainbow Wizard, and HIS very own Mary
Magdalene."
"Messiah?" She looked over as the Rainbow Wizard got to his feet,
drawing up Mary Magdalene beside him with one strong arm around her
waist. She smiled up at him. "I've never met a real Messiah before. Do
you work miracles?"
"When I'm not being trodden down by the unfaithful," the Rainbow
Wizard smiled, "I can do almost anything. Welcome to the East Habitat."
He bowed to her. She dimpled prettily and gave him a mock curtsy, and
the Bandit suddenly felt like the fifth wheel on a Continental: not good for
much, and hanging on for the ride. It's that goddamned Wizard thing
again, he thought disgustedly. Why the hell does HE have to attract the
pretty ones all the damn time?
Flower turned to Mary Magdalene, and said, "it must be terribly
exciting, having your own Messiah. How did you manage to do it?"
Mary Magdalene smiled, but there was something in that smile that
wasn't the orgasm. "I was," she said archly, "In the right place at the right
time."
There was silence for a few moments as several different thoughts
went through several different heads.
MY tits never look that good without a bra on, Mary Magdalene
thought worriedly, and how the hell does she keep her hips so slim? It's a
good thing I know the Wizard, or I'd be really worried....
This, thought the Rainbow Wizard, is a woman to get to know better.
Nice hair, thought Flower. Seriously good smile, too. But she's too
heavy and she doesn't take care of herself. And not only does she know it,
but he knows it, too! Oh, mama, Crystal City was NOTHING compared
to what I'm gonna do to Arcadia!
Wow, man, serious tit action here, Conan thought. Wonder if the
Wiz'll let me tear off a piece once he adds her to his little harem?
Thud was watching Mary Magdalene's eyes. This is going to be very
ugly, he thought to himself. I wonder how stable MaryMag is these days?
If she gets too iffy, then POW! Catfight! Break out the body oil and the
video camera!
The Bandit, forgotten in an instant, decided that sterner measures
were necessary. "Uh, listen," he said, "We'll be getting together tomorrow
to do some playing. Zero and I, I mean. Would you like to join us?"
Flower had obviously come to the conclusion that the Rainbow
Wizard was more worth knowing than Zero. "Maybe later," she said,
scarcely looking at the Bandit. "I want to play some guitar duets right
now." She looked over at the Rainbow Wizard and smiled. "If you don't
mind, that is."
"Not at all," he said. "Will you teach me some new songs?"
"If you'll teach me a couple," she replied guilelessly.
"Great! We can take turns playing," Mary Magdalene said brightly.
"I love playing duets." She smiled pleasantly at Flower, her eyes hard as
flint. Flower gave her the sort of smile one gives an adorable young child
who's just brought home a live snake as a pet.
"We'll make it a trio, then," the Rainbow Wizard said, fishing in his
pocket for his room key. "Why don't you go get my other guitar from my
room, dear?"
"Okay!" Mary Magdalene's desire to please the Wizard overruled her
suspicions, and she skipped off toward their room. The Bandit watched
her go, thinking, too trusting to live. Jesus!
"Well, I guess I'll be leaving," the Bandit said uncomfortably. "You
should stop by our place when you get a chance...."
"Oh, I'd love to," Flower said hastily, remembering her manners. "I'd
love to hear what you and, er, Zero do."
The Bandit managed a weak grin. "Well, we--"
"YO! BANDIT! HEY, WIZ my MAIN MAN! Whuss happening,
people?"
The Bandit winced. Please, he thought, O merciful God, not now, not
while there's some faint shred of hope....
Livewire threw a corded arm about the Bandit's shoulders and
squeezed hard enough to dislocate his collarbone. "Howya DOIN' my
MAN!" He caught sight of Flower for the first time, and his eyes nearly
popped out of his head. "Well, hell-LO there, pretty lady," he said in his
best Rhett Butler imitation, which was terrible, "I don't believe we've been
introduced...."
"Flower, this is Livewire. Livewire, this is Flower. She's a transfer,"
the Bandit said in a rush. "Now as I was saying--"
Flower gave Livewire the barest nod, and said to the Rainbow
Wizard, "You have a lot of interesting followers."
Any thoughts that the Bandit had in Flower's direction were chopped
brutally short. His eyes burned as he whirled to face her. "You watch
your mouth, missy," he gritted. "Livewire's my drummer, and neither he
nor Zero buys into this crock of shit that old Glow-in-the-Dark here
shovels out for the faithful. And what goes for them goes double, triple,
for me. Understand?"
Flower took a half step back from him, her eyes widening fearfully.
"Don't you talk to me that way," she said feebly. "I can make mistakes,
can't I? I thought he was your friend...." She looked from the Rainbow
Wizard, who was regarding the Bandit sourly, back to the Bandit again.
"He is my friend." The Bandit's voice was soft. "I just wish he'd see
a shrink before he gets somebody hurt." He turned on his heel and left,
tossing angrily over his shoulder, "Particularly himself!"
"Oo, bad scene," Livewire said, watching him go. Then he shrugged
and said to Flower, "But he's right, you know. This guy is like a TOTAL
fuckhead. Thinks he can create trees!" Laughing uproariously, he did a
back handspring away from them, bounded to his feet and charged off
with a wave. "Later!"
The Rainbow Wizard smiled and shook his head with the weariness
of a patient parent. He said, "It isn't easy, being me."
"Awwwww...." Flower smiled at him, her eyes at once teasing and
promising.
"Awwwww...." mimicked Conan, his eyes still on the book.
Mary Magdalene was walking down the narrow hallway, the guitar
case bumping against her legs, when the Bandit came striding toward her
like a juggernaut. He brushed past her roughly, bumping the case from her
hand with a jerk.
"Hey!" Mary Magdalene's voice carried a lot more ire than people
were used to hearing from her. "Why don't you watch where you're
going?"
"I could say the same for you, sweetheart," the Bandit snarled, not
even turning around. "Better get out there in a hurry, or you're going to be
out of a job." He slammed the door of his room behind him. Mary
Magdalene looked at the shut door, then back down the hall toward the
lounge. Her eyes narrowed into cruel slits, and her jaw set into a grim
line. She marched down the hallway toward the lounge, rolling up her
sleeves as she went.
The Bandit pulled open the refrigerator, pulled out a beer, opened it
with his teeth, and downed a third of it in one swig. He sat down wearily
on the couch and sighed, running a thumb over his aching teeth. Why do I
keep doing that, he wondered wearily. One of these days I'll break a tooth.
It's just not goddamned fair! He reads a book on the theory of
miracle working, convinces himself and everyone else within earshot that
he's got something special, and all of a sudden he's up to his eyeballs in
devoted female followers! It's enough to make you sick.... I should have
been a Psych major. Then I could get into people's heads and make them
do whatever I wanted them to, just like him! Bells! Love songs! Give me
a break, for shit's sake!
There was a soft knock on the door.
The Bandit took another long pull on the beer, finishing the bottle.
I'm not going to answer it, he decided. I'm going to sit here very quietly
and wait for whoever it is to go the fuck away. Then I'm going to crawl
into bed and try to sleep while the Wiz is probably conniving BOTH of
them into bed with him across the room. What the hell's so special about
cum that glows in the dark, anyway? Hell, if I'd been irradiated as badly
as he was, MY cum would probably glow, too!
The knock was louder the second time.
Go away, the Bandit willed. Go away and leave me alone. I don't
want to be comforted, I don't want pity and understanding. I just want to
be left alone. Please!
"Bandit? Please open the door...."
The Bandit's eyes went as wide as Frisbees, then contracted shut in
pain. No, anyone but her, he begged. Please?
There was a long silence.
Finally, with a ragged sigh, the Bandit got up and walked across the
living room, setting the bottle down with a clank. He pulled the door
open, and snapped, "What?"
Twink was obviously a bit taken aback by his tone, but she smiled
tremulously and managed to struggle onward. "Can I come in?"
"If you must," sighed the Bandit. He motioned for her to enter, and
she glided past him and sat down demurely on the beanbag chair, her legs
curled under her. He resisted the impulse to get another beer, shut the
door, and returned to his chair. "So what do you want?"
She smiled, the faintest hint of a kiss-me pout on her lips. "I ran into
Livewire," she said. "He told me you'd had a run-in with the Wiz over this
new transfer kid."
The Bandit sighed again. "I'm just a little bit tired of seeing him do
the old hoodoo and having women drop their drawers for him," he
muttered.
Twink frowned slightly. "Drawers? What kind of drawers?"
The Bandit slapped his forehead. "DRAWERS, Twink! Panties!
Underwear, y'know?"
"Oh," Twink said, blushing. "No, I've never heard that word for them
before. Drawers? What a funny word for underwear! I wonder where it
came from? Shut up, Twink." The last three words were spoken in the
same conversational tone as the rest of her speech, and the Bandit almost
missed them.
He raised an eyebrow. "'Shut up, Twink'?"
"I've started ending all of my sentences with it," she said proudly. "It
saves time."
Somewhere in the Bandit's gut, a small cold something tied itself in a
knot. "Aw, Twink, that's a terrible thing to say!"
"Well, it's the truth," she replied, shrugging. "People have been
telling me to shut up ever since I got here. I can't ask what the words
mean in the movies--"
"Well, you've gotta admit not knowing the jargon in a movie that's
rated 'R' is a little bit flaky for a modern teenager," the Bandit said drily.
"I wasn't raised with it," she said wistfully. "My mummy and daddy
never used curse words around the house, and neither did anyone else in
the school."
"I guess you didn't miss much," he smiled. The knot in his stomach
was slowly unwinding, and he took a moment to appraise the figure Twink
cut critically. She was wearing that awful shapeless nightgown again, the
polyester one that zipped up to her chin with the little lace collar, and furry
bunny slippers in matching powder blue. Bunny slippers, he thought to
himself. I mean, really!
For a brief moment, he found himself wondering what she would
look like in real clothes, as opposed to the Godawful things her parents
sent with her from wherever the hell in North Dakota she'd come from.
All he knew was that she was no lightweight, and he wondered just how
much fat she was hiding under those shapeless sweaters she wore. For a
brief instant, he had a brief mental vision of Diva, her heavy breasts and
wide hips as appealing as a Rubens in their way. The Bandit had always
gone for short, willowy girls, but maybe there was something to Zero's
taste for ladies closer to Diva's size.... He shook his head slightly. Get
real, Bandit. You're never going to get closer than ten feet away from
Diva, and Twink ain't no Diva!
"Penny for your thoughts," Twink asked, twirling the tip of her
nightgown's collar drawstring between her chubby fingers. The Bandit's
gorge rose into his throat at her pitiful attempt at flirtatiousness, and he
suddenly was feeling about as amorous as a retread on the Interstate.
"I was thinking," he drawled, "About what an incredible pain in the
ass some women can be...."
"Oh, you mean Flower? Yes, she's a live one, I'll say," Twink smiled.
For the briefest instant, the Bandit could've sworn that she'd actually
dodged an insult and delivered a comeback. Then he realized, as she
continued talking, that she'd just missed the reference completely.
Merciful God, he thought, how did a woman like this ever get into
college?
"I've been talking with her, she lives in my hall. She's kind of weird,
always wearing old tiedyes and beads and and talking about how her
parents used to walk around naked so she wouldn't have any hangups and
stuff like that. After I saw Livewire, I decided to breeze through the
lounge and see what was going on. I thought it was really pretty funny,
well, actually kind of sad, to tell the truth, I mean there's the Rainbow
Wizard playing away, and there's Flower matching him note for note, and
poor Mary Magdalene struggling along on the chords just to keep up!
Everyone tells me that the two of them have been together just forever and
they always will be, but it doesn't seem to me that that's a terribly healthy
way to go, you know? Shut up, Twink."
"Oh, stop that," The Bandit scowled. He'd heard about enough for
one night. Somebody was leaving. Soon!
"Why?" Twink smiled at him again, standing up and stretching. "Do
you have something better for me to do?"
Oh, Lord God, the Bandit thought. That's the last straw!
He was on his feet in an instant, pulling open the door to the room he
shared with Zero. It was empty; Zero had already gone to Diva's for the
night. He strode inside, growling, "Leave, Twink. Just...leave. Shut the
door on your way out."
He reached behind him to shut the door but Twink was there, pulling
it shut behind her. "Are you sure you want me to leave, so soon?" Her
voice was low and liquid, teasing.
The Bandit wasn't having any of it, tonight, though. A woman like
Flower ending up on the Wiz's hit list, and Twink, for God's sake, TWINK
as a consolation prize? No, Goddammit, NO!
He whirled on her and hissed, "I have had enough of your stupid
insinuations and your ridiculous attempts at flirting! You're making a
complete and utter fool of yourself, and you're not impressing anyone!
You love the attention I give you and you have absolutely no intention of
following through on ANY of your little hints, so why don't you just put
up or shut up!"
Twink stared at him, her eyes wide and bright. He returned her stare,
his eyes burning black in the dim light through the Venetian blinds.
Then, quite suddenly, she smiled.
"All right," she whispered.
And in a single smooth motion, she unzipped her nightgown from her
collar to her waist and let it fall to the floor.
The Bandit, master of the quick comeback, the left-handed
compliment, and the subtle jab, the most dangerous verbal assassin in
Arcadia, dimly heard his higher reasoning faculties shut down. His blood
roared in his ears and he barely registered the fact that she was stepping
forward and putting her soft arms about his neck. Instinctively his hands
came up and grasped her waist, and her soft lips met his as the last
remnants of his reasoning abilities surrendered with a fading crackle of
static. Her lips were gentle, soft, and caressing, and she broke the kiss
after a moment and held him tightly, whispering in his ear, "You're
trembling. What's the matter?"
"Oh, God, Twink," he managed to get out somehow. "You mustn't. I
treat you like dirt! Worse than dirt! You deserve better than me, for God's
sake, find yourself someone who'll give you a fair shake, don't do this--"
She placed a cool fingertip on his lips. "Shut up, Bandit," she said in
a tone of mock sternness. She giggled at the turnabout, and he found
himself laughing with her. Suddenly, with a roar of released emotion, he
threw his arms around her waist and hugged her as hard as he could. She
squealed as he lifted her up off the ground, thought better of it, and
quickly set her down again. She met his gaze, her eyes mischievous, and
suddenly lowered her arms to encircle his waist. His breath whooshed out
of him as she returned the lift, laughing. She set him down on his feet
again, giggling, "You shouldn't hurt yourself. I'm a pretty big girl!"
"No kidding," he whispered reverently, stepping back a pace to
admire her. In all of my life, he thought, I have never dreamed that
someone like this could exist outside of Playboy. I was right, Twink's no
Diva. Poor Zero, stuck with Diva....
She wasn't a classic beauty by any means, but her body was the stuff
of Bandit's dreams. She was ever so slightly overweight, just enough to
give a softness to her joints and her lines, smoothing away the angles of
bone beneath the skin. Her oval face and long, aristocratic neck swept
uninterrupted into gently sloping shoulders, strong arms, and the most
beautiful breasts the Bandit had ever seen. He'd only really slept with a
couple of women in his life, and all of them had been, by choice or chance,
short and slender, with tiny A-cup breasts that suited their small frames.
In that instant, at his first sight of a woman with an average-sized bustline,
the Bandit became a lifelong and firmly committed breast man.
"You're beautiful," he moaned, fingering her swelling nipples in
disbelief. Twink's breasts weren't unduly large, but her nipples were
something to see. As she sighed at his touch, they grew and swelled to the
size of pencil erasers. He let his hands slide down her wide, flaring
ribcage, and across her washboard-flat stomach, pausing for a moment
with his thumb in her navel and one questing finger curling about a tendril
of downy, honey-blonde hair. "You're also a natural blonde," he noted
with a grin, his sense of humor slowly returning.
"Of course," Twink giggled. She reached up and began to undo the
buttons of his shirt, whispering, "I want to see you naked, Bandit...."
Suddenly he gripped her hands with his, looking hard into her eyes.
"Twink," he said, "You don't have to do this. I don't know why you
picked me, but I'm giving you the chance to back out now, before we go
any further."
She smiled up at him, her eyes bright with tears and her smile almost
aglow. "I picked you," she whispered, "because I love you. I forgive you
the way you've treated me in the past, because I know you were all broken
up over Teenie and how she dumped you. I want you, and I'd like for you
to learn to love me, but all I really want to ask for are two things. Will
you promise them to me?"
He frowned. "I will, if I honestly can."
"Okay. First, will you be a little nicer to me from now on?" Her gaze
was wistful, and so full of pain that the Bandit had to swallow to keep
from crying.
He shook his head. "I can't promise you that, not until I get to know
you better. You and I need to talk, really talk, to one another, and right
now I'm in no condition to make conversation. But I will promise to give
you the common courtesy I've maybe been denying you, and to help you
learn to defend yourself a little better when people start picking on you...."
"I'll settle for that, for a start," Twink whispered, a tear rolling down
one cheek.
"Hey, hey, don't cry. I want to see you laugh!" He smiled
encouragingly at her, then on a sudden impulse tried tickling her ribs. She
pulled away with a sharp laugh, and wiped her eyes. He found himself
staring at her again, entranced by the way her breasts swung as she moved.
She smiled and slipped her arms around his neck, and whispered into
his lips, "My second request is as follows. If I were to tell you that I want
to stay a virgin, would you be upset?"
"Not at all," the Bandit said instantly. "It's your body, you have the
right to control what happens to it." And to his surprise, he realized that
he meant it. Mom, you raised me right, he thought to himself, but the fact
that there's so much else of her to enjoy is gonna make keeping this
promise a lot easier!
"Thanks," she breathed, starting to unbutton his shirt again. "Now,
where were we?" She peeled the shirt back from his chest, and leaned
forward to kiss his nipples as she pulled the sleeves off of his arms. She
dropped to her knees before him on Zero's Persian rug, and giggled as she
hastily undid his belt and the snap of his jeans. Slowly, tantalizingly, she
lowered his zipper and pulled his pants down to his knees. His underwear,
bulging and already stained, were next, and she laughed as his penis
sprang free and gently swatted her on the cheek, leaving a sticky stain.
She reached up and grasped it with both hands, stroking it gently. She
looked up at him, and said, "You'll have to excuse me if I'm a little
awkward at this, I've only done it once before." She frowned at the
memory. The Bandit caught the frown.
"Really," he said, "With who? Anyone I know?"
She released his penis. "Conan," she whispered.
The Bandit stared aghast at her. "CO--WHY, for God's sake?"
Her eyes filled with tears. "It seemed like the only way I could get
close to you was to get in with one of your friends...."
"Oh, Twink...." The Bandit's erection wilted. He dropped to his
knees and held her tightly as she began to cry.
"He, he stuck it in my mouth and started pushing it in and, and out,"
Twink sobbed, "And I, I wanted to run away but I was afraid he'd stop me
and maybe if I made him feel good he wouldn't, wouldn't...." She broke
down.
The Bandit rocked her in his arms, tears in his eyes. "That son of a
bitch," he whispered. "That dirty son of a bitch, I'll kill him!"
"NO!" She looked up at him and grasped the sides of his face with
both hands. "I don't ever want you to mention any of this to anyone. He's
never tried anything since, and I just want to put it behind me. I don't
want to forget that it happened. But I do want to forget enough of the hurt
so I won't go through the rest of my life afraid...." She sniffled a bit.
"Twinkles, how the hell'd I ever underestimate you? You're braver
and more mature than anyone I know!" A tear rolled down the Bandit's
face.
"Oh, I love you...." She hugged him hard. After a long moment, they
heaved a simultaneous sigh, and helped each other up. Twink giggled as
the Bandit waddled comically over to the bed and sat down, his pants still
around his ankles. "Gotta get these shoes off before I kill myself," he
laughed.
He quickly undid the laces and divested himself of shoes, socks, and
pants, as Twink came over and sat down on the bed beside him. She
started at the scratchiness of the blanket on her bare bottom. "Hey, this is
wool! No wonder you're never cold at night," she marveled, running a
hand over the expanse of blanket. "It's beautiful."
"You're beautiful, too," he whispered, running a hand down the
exquisite curve of her spine and watching her arch her back in pleasure
like a cat. "And tonight, you won't be cold."
Twink looked up at him, her expression suddenly pensive. "It's
funny," she said softly. "I've never spent the night with anyone before."
"That's okay," he smiled, running a hand through her long golden
hair. "You can get used to it really easily." He drew back the covers,
saying, "Hey, I just had a thought. Let's just sleep together tonight,
nothing else. It'll give us a chance to get to know one another better, with
no pressure."
"Are you sure?" Twink looked askance at his penis, which was
already erect again. "I don't want to leave you like that. Won't you
burst?"
"Wha-at? No, of course not! You really do have a lot to learn, don't
you?" The Bandit grinned at her crestfallen expression. "Come into bed."
She smiled uncertainly, and slid under the covers beside him. The
Bandit sighed as Twink spread her warm body out over his like a blanket
and cuddled against him with a happy smile. She's kinda heavy, he noted,
but as long as she doesn't stop my breathing I guess I don't mind....
One of her hands, wandering down his belly, found and gently held
his penis. "Good night, my love," she whispered.
"Good night, Twink," he replied, kissing her hair.
PART 4: Valentine's Day, continued
Mid-February 1982
The Rainbow Wizard carefully packed away his guitar in its case, and
closed the lid. He hefted the case easily in one hand, and smiled sweetly
at Flower. "I had a wonderful time this evening," he said, "And I hope
that we can do it again sometime soon."
"Oh, I'd like that," Flower replied, picking up her own guitar. "It was
wonderful meeting you. I was beginning to feel like I wasn't going to
make any friends here at all. Well, goodnight!" With a wave, she turned
and was gone, guitar case banging against her knees as she strode toward
the elevator.
The Rainbow Wizard watched her leave, his smile contemplative in a
manner only practiced by those in the Messiah business. After a long
moment, he sighed gustily and turned to Mary Magdalene, who'd packed
her guitar away and was standing with her arms crossed, looking at him
with an expression that would curdle fresh milk.
He smiled at her disarmingly. "What's wrong, my love?"
Mary Magdalene didn't even wind up. One strong fist came up in a
blur and caught the Rainbow Wizard right in the gut. He stumbled
backward one or two steps with a grunt of pain, stumbled over a coffee
table, and fell backward onto it, then onto the couch behind it, with a
clatter.
Thud, who was idly playing a round of cribbage with himself in the
corner, raised an eyebrow at that. Definitely unstable, he thought wearily.
He should've seen it coming.
"I hope you're satisfied," Mary Magdalene hissed. "You fucking
lecher! I'd rip your nuts off and feed them to the fish, if they'd eat them!"
"What's the--oof--matter with you, Mary? What'd I do?" The
Rainbow Wizard scrambled to his feet clumsily. He ran after Mary
Magdalene as she grabbed her coat and stormed out the front doors of the
Habitat, fuming.
"Hey, Wiz! What about your guitars?" Thud called.
"Please keep them in your room, Thud. I'll retrieve them later. This
is much more important," the Rainbow Wizard called over his shoulder.
He was out the door in an instant, gone in a blast of cold air.
Thud watched them go, and sighed. He began to gather up his cards.
Time to call it a night, I guess, he thought. No more fun stuff to watch.
Mary Magdalene was walking at full steam, her back stiff and her
eyes straight forward as she crossed the campus, heading for the northern
edge of Arcadia's campus. Behind her, the Rainbow Wizard stumbled
through the snow, calling, "MARY MAGDALENE, WAIT! PLEASE!
TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG!"
At those words, Mary Magdalene stopped dead in her tracks and
slowly turned to face the Rainbow Wizard as he caught up with her,
panting. The sound of a party in another of the dorms carried faintly over
the snowy field as he stopped just out of her reach, shivering in the wind.
"Tell you what's wrong?" Her whisper was thick with disbelief.
"Tell you WHAT'S WRONG? YOU STEAMING SHIT! HOW DARE
YOU?" The whisper turned into a shriek in the space of a half sentence.
"Do you think I'm blind? Or just stupid! I SAW you tonight, the whole
fucking NIGHT, drooling all over that little cunt like a goddamned sled
dog in heat! You motherfucking HYPOCRITE!"
"Mary--"
"SHUT UP!" Her eyes were wild in the dim moonlight, and spittle
flew from her lower lip. She paused for a sobbing breath, and continued in
a choked monotone. "Three years I sat with you, you son of a bitch.
Three YEARS! Every other girl in the goddamned high school was out
having a normal life, going on dates, having REAL boyfriends, and I just
sat in a chair by a hospital bed waiting for you to open your eyes and tell
me you loved me one last time before you DIED!" She gasped for breath.
"I watched them open you up and haul out your insides! I watched them
fill you with chemicals and shoot you full of radiation and I watched your
h-h-hair fall out and I listened to them t-tell m-me that y-y-you were g-g-
gonna DIE...." She fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands,
crying hysterically.
The Rainbow Wizard reached out and gently laid a hand on her
shoulder. She shrugged away from it roughly, not looking up. "No, don't
pull away," he said calmly. "Are you trying to tell me that'd you'd rather
I'd died?"
"No," she sighed into her hands, her sobs subsiding a bit.
"It sounds that way to me," he continued. "It sounds like you're
blaming me for wasting an awful lot of your life that you could have spent
elsewhere, doing other things. If I'd died...."
"Oh, shut up," Mary Magdalene whispered.
"No, I won't. This is important to you, or you wouldn't have hurt me
that way." His tone never wavered, a perfect psychiatrist's drone,
comforting and insistent. "Where would you be if I were dead? Would
you be happier?"
"N-no." Mary Magdalene slowly got to her feet. Her knees were
soaked through and freezing, and she shivered under her coat.
"We both know what you did for fun before you and I got together,"
the Rainbow Wizard said sternly. "I don't consider hanging out at the
Palladium and trying to get into the music business from the mattress up to
be a terribly rewarding future, do you?"
"That's not FAIR!" Mary Magdalene sniffled. "I was making
FRIENDS in the business! I had CONTACTS! I...I...." Her head came
up proudly. "I gave some of those visiting musicians the best times they'd
ever HAD!"
"And are you a better person for it?"
She glared at him, her eyes dark pits of rage.
"Why were you so angry at me tonight?"
"You know damn well why I was angry at you! Why I'm STILL
angry at you! Where the hell do you get off doing the romantic warrior
routine with that sawed-off little twat? She's NOTHING! Just a stuck-up
brat from Crystal City who seems to think she can just waltz in and waltz
out with MY MAN!"
"Your man?" His soft voice carried the faintest hint of danger.
"You're--damn--RIGHT!" She jerked a thumb up, pointing at herself.
"Stand there and tell yourself you'd be alive to CHASE that little shit if I
hadn't brought you through this! I wouldn't make fun of you when your
hair grew back a different color, I held your hand while you puked up the
whole damn medicine chest, I changed your bedpans--hell, I even changed
your I.V. a couple of times when the nurses were too busy!" Her tone
gradually took on a note of triumph. "You owe me your life, you stinking
cur! If it hadn't been for me, you would've just given up and DIED! This
life you're living is yours because I gave it to you and YOU OWE ME!
And I will NOT have you sniffing around at the crotches of every female
that passes by! Is that clear?"
The Rainbow Wizard regarded her cautiously. "Very clear," he said.
"I hadn't realized that you were so unsure of my love for you that you
could misconstrue what happened tonight. That's such a shame...."
"Oh, come OFF it! You're not going to tell me that there was nothing
going on between you-- she would've stuck her face in your crotch if I
hadn't been there, and you know it!"
"Yes, maybe she would have," the Rainbow Wizard nodded. "And
you're quite convinced that I would have thrown away everything we've
built and gleefully let her carry me away?"
Mary Magdalene was silent, her gaze wavering the tiniest bit.
"Are you so convinced that she's your superior that I couldn't possibly
resist her," he persisted. "Are you so sure that I wouldn't have just told
her, 'No, my heart belongs to another. You are lovely, but you are not for
me,' and made her leave it at that?" He shook his head. "That's the most
depressing news I've heard in a long time." He turned and began to walk
back to the Habitat. "I wonder if the Bandit's still awake? He'd get a real
charge out of hearing this...."
Mary Magdalene called after him, "Wait!" Her voice was still full of
tears, but now they were tears of misery rather than anger.
"No, I'm cold. I don't have a jacket," he said, still walking away.
Mary Magdalene ran the few steps that brought her to his side, and
opened her coat, casting it over his shoulders and drawing him inside it with
her. "Don't go," she whispered. "I'm sorry I misjudged you. It just seemed--"
"I know what it must have seemed like," he said softly, turning to face
her. He slipped his arms around her, and she drew her hands into the coat
sleeves and held it shut behind his back, a warm cocoon enveloping them.
"But if I'm to be denied even the chance to admire a beautiful girl without
seeming a traitor, wouldn't it be better for me just to be struck blind?"
"Oh, don't say things like that," she whispered, and kissed him.
"I love you. Never forget that. I love you."
"I love you...."
They stood huddled together under her coat, kissing tenderly, for
what seemed like hours. Strange sounds seemed to come from somewhere
inside the coat's folds: first the clink of a belt buckle, then the distinct zip
of a zipper being opened. Mary Magdalene gasped, then laughed deep in
her throat and kissed the Wizard even harder. Another zipping noise.
"Ooohh," Mary Magdalene husked. "What are you going to do with
THAT?"
"Nothing, if it freezes off," the Rainbow Wizard smiled.
She laughed and reached up to nibble his ear. "I have a place to keep
it warm," she whispered. "Hurry."
The next few moments must have been as funny as hell to watch, as
the coat bounced and flapped a bit around the two bodies jockeying for
position. The edge of the coat whipped open for an instant in the wind,
exposing a brief glimpse of what lay in the shadows: a silky thigh, the
black curl of pubic hair, and something that seemed almost to glow....
Then the pair turned to let the wind blow the coat shut again, and
Mary Magdalene gasped and threw her head back. "UH! YEAH, YEAH!"
Mmmmmmm...." The Rainbow Wizard bent forward and licked her
neck as she drew herself back like a bow in his arms and began to gasp
and moan in a familiar rhythm. Suddenly she went rigid, keening like a
wolf as her orgasm swept over her, heat and bitter cold mingled in the
night. She cried out in ecstasy as he gave a loud grunt and shuddered in
her embrace, his eyes shut and his head lowered with the effort.
For a long while they stood very still, just holding each other. Then,
they straightened up, kissing gently, and the odd buckling and zipping
noises came back. A police car went by on the narrow street, its siren
blaring, causing them to start like frightened deer and cling to one another.
Then they laughed with the release of tension, and turned to leave the
field.
"Would you like to go back for your coat?"
"No, I'll hold you close until we get to your house."
Conan crunched through the snow toward the brightly lit courtyard
that fronted the Student Union, rubbing his tired eyes. I should know
better than to read stuff like that before going to bed alone, he said
disgustedly to himself. Now I'm gonna have to drink myself into a coma
to be able to sleep! Bitch Goddesses of Thamazor, who'd I think I was
kidding?
Students were going in and out of the Union, enjoying the late night
hours of the bar and dance club as a release from studying. Conan caught
a sudden whiff of grilling hamburgers, and his stomach responded with a
burbling growl. Maybe I'll eat first, he decided ruefully. You can never
metabolize enough protein....
"Let go of me, you pig! LET GO! HEELLLLLPPPP!"
Conan's head jerked up at the sound of the terrified scream.
"Shut up, you bitch!" The roar of a drunken voice was followed by a
slap and a cry of pain. Conan located the source of the sound; it was a
shadowed area under one of the walkways, famous for private trysts at
night. He kicked into a dead run and was there in bare seconds, his
massive legs covering the distance in the time it took the students nearby
in the courtyard to look around for the source of the scream.
An attractive young woman was struggling on the concrete bench
with a young man who was trying to hold her wrists. Conan grabbed him
by the scruff of the neck and bodily hauled him off of her, then up off the
bench.
"Hey, what's the--" The boy's voice cut off abruptly as Conan turned
him around and he got a good look at his assailant. He swallowed, then
tried for a shaky smile.
"Leave her alone," Conan said with a friendly grin.
"Uh, look, man, me and my girlfriend were just--UNGH!" With a
sudden shove, Conan slammed him back bodily against the wall of the
underpass, knocking his breath away.
"Leave, I said," Conan repeated pleasantly. The boy gained his feet,
gasped for breath, and took off like a spooked raccoon, pushing aside the
few curious students who were just arriving on the scene.
Conan didn't even watch him leave. He turned his attention to the
girl, who was sitting on the bench, hugging herself and shivering.
"Are you all right? Did he hurt you?" Conan held out a hand to her.
Hesitantly, she took it, and he led her out into the streetlights. There was a
spattering of applause from the few people who'd remained to see what the
ruckus was about.
"Yeah! Conan saves another damsel in distress!"
"Way to go, Conan!"
Conan grinned at the crowd, eating up the applause. His smile died
on his face when he saw the girl clearly in the light. Her eye was rapidly
swelling and turning black as he watched, and she was obviously in a lot
of pain.
"Thank you," she said in a feeble whisper.
"Let me walk you to the hospital," he replied. "You should get a cold
compress for that eye."
"Okay," she nodded. It took an obvious effort, but she smiled.
He offered an arm to her, and said to the crowd, "I'm taking her to
Wright Memorial Trauma Ward. If the Security Squad want a statement,
they can find us there, okay?" There were a few scattered nods of assent.
"Come on." He smiled at her as she took his arm, and led her around
the Union, toward the highway and the hospital.
The noise and lights in the Clean Room were at their height. Zero
cavorted on the dance floor, his body shaking to the beat as he watched
Diva cut loose. She was squeezed into a spandex leotard in a tiger-stripe
pattern and a pair of skintight black pants, and her eyes were shut as she
swayed in time to the music. Zero's eyes were fastened on her crotch, and
on a small wedge-shaped bulge that went utterly unnoticed by everyone
else in the room, as did the tiny remote control clutched in his fist and the
thin wire that ran from his hand into the waist of her tights. He gave the
power button a gentle stroke, and watched Diva contort and thrash in what
must have seemed a particularly enthusiastic dance move.
"Oh Lord God Jesus Christ Almighty!" She threw herself at him,
biting his neck and grinding her pelvis against his. He could feel the faint
thrum of the clit-vibe against his penis as she frantically grabbed for the
remote. "Gimme that thing you sonofabitch don't keep turning it onnanoff
yer killing me my clit's gonna bust wide open you
sonofAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" She hugged him hard as he gave the power
button another jab, and he deftly held it out of her reach. One or two other
people were noticing that Diva appeared a bit too enthusiastic about the
song, and were looking their way with a mixture of confusion and
amusement.
"Time to go, liebchen," Zero said quietly, flicking the remote off and
leading Diva off the dance floor and through the crowd. She followed
along behind him, still trying to pry the remote from his hands.
A crowd was just dispersing out in the hallway of the Union where
the entrances to the Burger Bar and the Clean Room met; from the broken
glassware and the small spot of blood on the carpet, it looked as if the
campus police had had a rough time with someone in the Bar. But Diva
was too far gone to notice, and Zero was having too much fun torturing
her to give the situation more than a passing glance. He whispered,
"Ready to go home?"
"NO NO God no," Diva moaned, arms about his neck and teeth
nibbling at his Adam's apple, "I'll never make it home you gotta do me
here you gotta do me here gimme that thing you sonofabitch I'm dying!"
She made one last attempt to get the remote from him, then gave up and
began to rub her hands up and down the length of his penis, outlined
against the crotch of his jeans. Zero blinked in surprise and did his best to
start a nonchalant stroll down the hall away from the clubs, but Diva kept
right beside him, groaning in his ear and trying to get a hand into his
pants. "Gimme Jimi...gimme Jimi...."
Zero nodded politely to an elderly female professor who was walking
by, her flabbergasted eyes on Diva's busy hands. "Sorry about this," he
said pleasantly, "She's had a bit too much to drink."
"So I see," said the professor, hurrying by with a sniff.
"You bastard you bastard you BAAAAAAAA!" Diva shrieked and
laughed like a madwoman, both feet leaving the ground for a moment as
Zero nudged the button again. "I'm gonna getcha! I'm gonna--GETCHA!"
She suddenly pushed Zero as hard as she could. Taken by surprise, he
stumbled sideways into an open doorway that led into a small ticket office
for the Student Theatre. It was empty, the cash register unlocked and
open; the teller was obviously out for a moment to deposit the night's gate
in the safe upstairs. Diva slammed Zero up against the cash register and
fell to her knees, frantically tearing at his belt buckle. In desperation, Zero
kicked the door shut behind her and held it with one outstretched foot. His
flailing hand reached over and pulled down the curtain on the teller
window. The last thing he saw was the face of a young blonde freshman,
her eyes bugging out and her mouth agape as she caught a brief glimpse of
Jimi as the curtain went down, and Diva went down right along with it.
She wasn't in the mood to mess around. One deep breath, a
whispered screech of "Gimme!" and down she went, all the way to the
base of his thick, slick shaft, sucking for all she was worth and screaming
around the hardness filling her mouth and throat. Zero closed his eyes as
she bobbed up and down, up and down.
"C'mon, glbph, you bas, gmmmph, bastard, glmmph, give it, blf, give
it to me, mmmmbl, give it to me, gmllMMMMMM!" Her body went rigid
as Zero turned the vibrator on full power, and she did something neither he
nor she was expecting: she bit down. Hard.
"YYYYEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWTTCHH!" Off went the
vibrator, and down into his chair went Zero, the last vestiges of his self-
preservation instinct keeping the door firmly shut against the rattling
doorknob and clicking key in the lock.
"Is somebody in there? Hello?"
Diva's mouth came off his dick and her eyes were wide and full of
fear. "Oh, Liebchen, did I hurt you? I'm so sorrEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
He flicked on the vibrator again and she convulsed against him. Zero
quickly examined the damage to Jimi; he was bruised a bit and kind of red
at the base, but there was no blood, and he was thicker and harder than
ever. He let out a windy sigh of relief.
"Peel," he whispered.
Diva looked up at him and smiled wickedly. One hard tug, and her
tights were around her knees, exposing her wide, full hips unadorned
except for the red nylon straps that held the buzzing vibrator over her
clitoris. She turned around and presented her wide, smooth rump to him
as he stood up. The door seemed almost about to open with his foot
removed from it, but it slammed shut again as Diva fell against it with her
full weight.
"Who's IN there? Open the damn door!"
Zero spread her ass cheeks and exposed the luscious, drippy folds of
her vulva with one hand, slowly increasing power to the vibrator with the
other. He planted the tip of his dong against her pussy lips, and she
mewled and thrust back against him, sucking him halfway in with a wet
slurp. He slammed his hips forward against her, driving himself into her
to the hilt as he ran the vibrator all the way up the scale.
The remote dropped to the floor, forgotten, as he grabbed her waist
and started slamming into her with everything he had. Diva was
screaming, bucking, going insane from the dual stimulation, and her body
slammed against the door to the ticket office again and again. Finally, he
gushed into her with a groan, and she let out one last long wail as the
vibrator, its job valiantly done, drained its batteries and quietly died.
For a long minute, they just stood there, him leaning back against the
cold metal of the cash register, her bent jacknifed at the waist and sobbing
for breath. He gently withdrew from her, quickly grabbing a spare piece
of paper to wipe himself and her off before pulling up his pants. She
smiled weakly at him, leaning against the pounding door as she rolled up
her tights. He tucked the remote in his pocket, put his arm around her to
hide the wire while she quickly straightened his hair and her own, and
opened the door.
"Eeeyesss?" Zero smiled pleasantly at the young lady who was
standing at the door, in front of a small crowd of fascinated onlookers.
"What the hell were you DOING in there?" The crowd burst out
laughing at the question, and the girl blushed crimson. Zero suddenly
noticed the girl who'd seen him through the window, standing with two of
her friends at the back of the crowd and making it-was-THIS-big-I-
SWEAR motions with her hands as her friends gaped at her. She looked
up, saw him, and blushed even redder than the ticket seller. He grinned
and held up his hands, shaking his head as if to say, No-it's-really-only-
THIS-big-dear.
"Never you mind," Diva laughed, licking Zero's earlobe as she guided
him toward the coat room. "We were just leaving, anyway."
"Well, Jesus, would you look at that? Not even an apology, when I'm
stuck out here trying to lock up and get my--" Behind them, they could
hear the girl's voice cut off short, and the crinkling noises of wet paper.
"MY RECEIPTS! OH, GROSS!"
Zero's eyes met Diva's, and they both burst out laughing. All
thoughts of further adventure forgotten, they ran hand in hand for the exit.
"You waited? Oh, you didn't have to do that!" Conan looked up
from his magazine and smiled as Cricket came out of the Trauma Ward, a
compress held up to her eye. He stood up and shrugged on his coat, and
helped her ease into hers.
"That's okay," he said. "I had to talk to the police when they came
by, and I didn't want you walking home alone." He opened the door for
her into the night, and they hustled out into the cold wind, heading for the
North Habitat.
"I appreciate your helping me," Cricket said after a few moments of
silence. "I really thought he was gonna kill me."
"What were you doing with a creep like that anyway, Cricket? You
seem like too smart a person to go getting mixed up with someone who'd
jump you like that...."
"Huh! So speaks the walking beefcake magazine!" Cricket's voice
held a trace of a sneer. "What the fuck do you know about getting trapped
into doing shit you don't want to do, big man? Huh?"
For a brief, horribly clear instant, Conan thought of Twink. "Too
damn much," he whispered. "Sorry. Shouldn't have said it."
"Damn right," Cricket continued angrily. "I've seen you working out
in the gym, all pumped up and nowhere to go. All the girls looking at you
and talking about you...."
"No shit, really?" Conan grinned widely. Now THAT was an
interesting revelation!
"Yeah, really! And d'you know what they're saying?" Cricket
paused for emphasis. "They're LAUGHING at you, you stupid
motherfucker!"
"What!" He looked down at her in shock. "WHY?"
"Because you're so fucking narcissistic it's enough to make them
puke, that's why! It's so obvious, watching you pose in the mirror. The
love affair between Conan and Conan will go down in history!" She
shook her head and fell silent. Conan looked supremely uncomfortable in
the silence that followed.
"I wish they could've seen you tonight, though," Cricket whispered.
"Oh, shit, that wasn't anything," Conan said with a shrug. "He
couldn't have hurt me if he'd tried."
"Yes he could've," Cricket said tartly. "It doesn't take a big man to
carry a gun of a knife, Conan. You could've been killed! You didn't know
what you were charging into-- you just did what you thought was right,
without hesitation. He would've broken my nose if you'd hesitated before
coming in after him. Or worse." She smiled up at him. "You know what
your problem is?"
"Yeah," Conan muttered. "I'm a narcissistic scumbag."
"No, besides that," Cricket chided with a smile.
Conan stopped and looked at her for a moment, unsmiling. "No, I
don't know what my problem is," he said. "Why don't you tell me?"
Cricket reached up and gently touched Conan on the tip of the nose.
"Your problem," she said softly, "is that you don't really know where your
strengths and weaknesses are. You're not impressing anyone when you
squat a quarter ton or whatever, but you can bet that you'll get a lot more
respect from the women in the aerobics class when they hear how you
saved my ass tonight! You're no mean, macho hunk. You're just a decent
human being."
"Oh, really," he said with a wry look.
"Yeah, really," she replied, starting to walk again. The doors to the
North Habitat loomed out of the darkness before them, and Cricket
fumbled in her pocket for her security card with one hand while trying to
hold her compress in place with the other. "Oh, damn it!"
"Here, lemme help you," Conan said quickly, gently placing a hand
over hers on the compress. She looked up at him with her good eye for a
long moment before drawing her hand out from under his and fumbling
for her card. She got it out, and got the door open by feel as he held the
compress steady.
"Thanks." She pocketed her card and put her warm little hand over
his, taking the compress from him. She smiled up at him in the doorway.
"For everything."
"No problem," Conan grinned. He shivered in the wind, and said,
"Well, I guess I better be getting back. It was nice meeting you, Cricket."
"Wanna come in and warm up for a while?"
He looked at her long and hard, then shook his head. "I better not."
"Oh, stop looking like a kicked dog and get in here, you moron!"
Cricket grabbed him with her free hand and dragged him inside. The door
shut with a clang behind him, and the night was still once more.
The Bandit awoke with a start, half sitting up in the darkness. His
eyes were utterly unaccustomed to the gloom, but he could feel rather than
see the warm presence in his bed. There was a quiet whisper in the dark.
"Oh, I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean to wake you...."
"That's okay, that's okay." The Bandit settled back down onto the
bed and ran his hands down the amazing curve of Twink's broad back.
She hummed in delight and burrowed closer to him, warm in the cold
night.
"This is really wonderful," she breathed. "It's so cozy."
"Yeah," the Bandit said. "Cozy." He suddenly realized what had
awakened him: her hand on his penis, warm and soft, gently stroking him
closer and closer to orgasm. He was almost ready to pop. "Y'know, if you
keep playing with me like you are, I'm gonna come all over you," he
whispered.
"Oh, really?" Her giggle was low and almost liquid in the night. "Is
that so bad? I like to make you feel good...." Her inexpert hand stroked
him more roughly and insistently now, and she crawled up until her lips
were level with his, kissing him as she squeezed his penis and pumped it
in her fist.
"You like?" Her mock Spanish accent was somehow fairly effective,
he noted in a haze of mixed sleepiness and horniness.
"Si, I like," he replied, and she giggled again. "But there are other
things I like, too, and if you're not going to let me sleep we may as well
enjoy them...."
"Oh! Well, what did you have in mind?"
He grinned in the darkness. "Ever been eaten out before?"
"Uh, I don't think so," she said uncertainly. "What is it, exactly?"
"What, being eaten out?" The Bandit paused, at a loss. "It's when I,
well, uh....Tell you what. Let go of me and I'll demonstrate, okay?"
"Okay." Her fist released his penis, and he immediately rolled her
over onto her back and began kissing his way down her body, pausing for
a few luxuriant sucks at her huge nipples before making his way down
lower. "Ohhhh," she moaned as he squeezed her breasts, "That feels so
GOOD!"
"If you like that," the Bandit said, "you'll love what comes next!" His
tongue flicked out and began to touch and probe beneath her pubic hair,
and she gasped in surprise.
"Ooh! Careful, that tickles! Bandit, you can't really want to lick
down THERE, I mean isn't it sort of--" Her breath caught in her throat.
She took a deep breath and tried again. "It's not too--" Her voice died
again. When she finally spoke, it was in a different tone altogether.
"Oh, please don't stop...."
"Mmmmmmm," the Bandit replied, his tongue teasing her rapidly-
swelling clitoris gently. There was no question but that she was primed
and ready for his attentions; her pussy lips, neat and symmetric, were
oozing moisture, and her clit was stiff and turgid. He licked and sucked
on it, and drove his tongue between her outer lips to caress the entrance to
her cunt. Back and forth, back and forth between them, listening all the
while to her nonstop commentary.
"Oh! Oh! That feels heavenly! Don't stop, PLEASE don't stop! It
feels like I'm burning up, I'm hot and cold, I'm shaking all over, Oh gentle
Jesus, OH! OH! What is that you're licking? More! More, oh, yes, oh,
God, I--Bandit! BANDIT! I FEEL FUNNY! I FEEL, I FEEL LIKE I'M
GONNA--EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
Her body arched off the bed from heels to head and he rode her like a
cowboy rides a bucking bronco, his tongue never leaving her sopping
vulva. She moaned, shrieked, and gasped, her clutching hands buried in
his mop of long dark hair, holding him in place as she spent and spent.
Finally, he let go of her, and she collapsed sobbing onto the bed, her
body soaked in a thick film of sweat. "Oh, God, oh, God, I love you, oh,
Bandit, that was so, so BEAUTIFUL!" He crawled back up to join her
and hugged her hard, and she buried her face in his hair and cried.
"Sweetheart, don't cry, it's okay. Shhhh, don't cry," the Bandit
soothed her, stroking her long hair. "Please don't cry...."
"Can't, hic, I cuh-cuh-can't HELP it," Twink sobbed gustily. "It was
so, suh-suh-so BEAUTIFUL, I cuh-c-c-can't help crying, uh, oh, I LOVE
you!" She cried even harder, and the Bandit didn't know what else to do
but to hold her close and rock her gently until her sobs gradually died
away and she relaxed against him, kissing his neck. "Oh thank you, thank
you...."
"Uh, you're welcome," the Bandit said uncomfortably. "Are you sure
you're all right? I mean, I've never had anyone start crying on me before."
"Oh, I'm feeling wonderful," Twink sighed, grabbing a fistful of toilet
paper from the roll the Bandit kept by the bed and blowing her nose with a
honk. "I couldn't help it, it felt so good I just had to cry. Was, was that an
orgasm?"
"Uh, I think so," the Bandit said soothingly, smiling despite himself.
"If it wasn't, when you finally have one it'll probably kill you!"
"Mmmmm, but what a way to die!" Twink laughed and ran her hand
back down his chest to his penis, which was just as stiff as ever. "My turn
to make you feel good, now," she breathed, sliding down his body and
kissing his chest as he'd kissed hers.
The Bandit suddenly recalled what she'd said about Conan. "Uh,
Twink, are you sure you want to do that? There are other ways...."
"Mmmmm, shut up, Bandit," came her voice from somewhere under
the covers. "I love you, and I want to make you feel as good as I do...."
The Bandit's whole body tensed as a long, wet tongue licked its way down
the underside of his penis and gently kissed his balls, then travelled back
up to the head. "You like?"
"Uh, uh-huh," he managed.
"Oh, good," she replied, "Because I don't feel like stopping! It tastes
so gooommmmbbllmmmmph......" The Bandit began thrusting his hips up
off the bed as her moist, warm mouth enveloped him and gently sucked
him in. She teased him with tiny nips and rolled her tongue obscenely
over the head of his penis as if trying to lick a lollipop to death in under
three minutes. As excited as he was, it was no time at all before the
Bandit was feeling himself tense up under an impending orgasm.
Twink, feeling him tense, stopped her labors for a moment. "Are you
all right? Am I hurting you?"
"Oh, God, DON'T STOP NOW, I'M COMING!"
"Oops! Sorry! Glmmmmm....MMMM! MMMM! MMMMMM!
Mmmmmmmmmmm...."
"UH! UNGH! UH! UH! OH! UH! Uhhhhhhhhhhh...."
Twink swallowed and swallowed again, downing every drop of hot,
thick semen he gave her. She got up on her hands and knees and looked
up at him, licking the last bits of sticky come from her lips. "How was
that?"
"Oh, god," the Bandit moaned. "I'm dying...."
Twink laughed lightly and snuggled up next to him, kissing him
deeply. The mixture of sweat, pussy juice and semen in the kiss was
indescribable. The Bandit broke the kiss, and muttered, "So much for a
night without doing anything...."
"I don't mind a bit," Twink said, yawning. "I'm so sleepy all of a
sudden...."
"S'okay, me too," the Bandit mumbled. "Sleep well."
"Mm-hmmm...."
"Shhh," Zero whispered as he opened the door to his room slightly.
"I just need to get fresh clothes, and I don't want to wake anyone up."
"Okay," Diva said softly, tiptoeing into the living room with him.
The door to Conan and the Wiz's room was ajar, and Conan was stretched
out on his bed under the covers, snoring like a steam engine.
"Him, we won't waken," Zero laughed, shutting the door. "But the
Bandit's a light sleeper, so...."
He eased the door to the bedroom he shared with the Bandit, and both
he and Diva simultaneously smelled the familiar odor of sex. Zero peeked
inside. The first thing he saw was the rumpled blue nightgown on the
floor. Diva gasped; the first thing she saw was Twink's gorgeous back,
half uncovered by the blankets.
Zero looked at Diva. Diva looked at Zero. Their astonishment was
comical. Quickly Zero reached into his closet and grabbed fresh clothes,
and they backed out of the room and shut the door.
"That was TWINK in there with him, wasn't it?"
"Hard to say, I've never seen Twink naked before."
"Oh, come on, I'm serious! The BANDIT, and TWINK?"
"Hey, she's been gunning for him for months, and I have to admit that
what I saw didn't look too bad...."
"That's enough of that, mister," Diva said sharply. "You're spoken
for already."
"No problem," Zero said amiably. "Just commenting, that's all."
The outer door closed, cutting off their voices. The Bandit smiled,
his eyes still shut, and drifted back to sleep.
The breakfast table was abuzz with conversation when the Bandit
came out of the hot food line with his tray in his hand. He'd sent Twink
off to shower and dress with a kiss, and had promised to meet her at the
breakfast table, but she wasn't there yet. Zero, Diva, Conan, Bone, Thud,
Plaids, and a young blonde girl he'd never seen before were sitting at the
table. When they saw the Bandit, there was an uncomfortable pause,
conversation dying down as the Bandit set his tray down.
"What's everyone looking at me for," he asked pleasantly.
Conan looked at him with a big grin, and waggled a finger at him.
"Na, na ne NA na! Na, na ne NA na!" Pretty soon the whole table was
doing it, and the Bandit just sat down, shaking his head and grinning.
"So how was she?"
"Getting a bit desperate, are we?"
"Any port in a storm, I guess...."
"Yes, but is she 'port'?"
"All right, ALL RIGHT!" The Bandit waved them all to silence. "I
have only this to say. It was not an act of desperation. Okay?"
The laughter redoubled at that. "Prove it," Thud said mildly.
"Okay, I will," the Bandit said with a smile. Keep your promise,
Twink, he thought to himself. Don't wimp out on me, please? It's a stupid
thing to have to do, but it'll make my life so much easier....
"How?" Bone challenged.
"Well, it's easy enough, when--Ah, hello, sweetheart!" The Bandit
stood up and pulled up a chair beside him for Twink as she entered the
room. Conversation died.
Thud's eyebrows went north for the winter. Conan's jaw hit his tray,
and Cricket elbowed him in the ribs. Bone's eyes nearly popped out of his
head, and Plaids nervously took off his glasses and began to polish them
furiously. Twink had told the Bandit that she'd owned one set of clothes
that he'd probably consider "sexy," and had agreed to his request that she
wear them to breakfast. And sexy she was, in a clinging silk jumpsuit that
was unzipped halfway to her waist. She'd foregone the bra for the meal,
too.
"Good morning, love," she said huskily, slipping into the Bandit's
arms and doing her best Diva-kissing-Zero imitation. She then sat down
beside him, and said with a bright smile, "Happy Valentine's Day,
everyone!"
"Uh, Twink, that's, uh, that's quite an outfit you've got there," Conan
ventured. Cricket looked over at him, one eyebrow raised.
The Bandit had coached Twink on that eventuality, though; she didn't
even look up. "Eat your heart out, thumbdick," she said, opening her
napkin.
Cricket almost spat up her milk laughing. "You, I like," she said with
a grin. "I'm Cricket. You must be Twink!"
"The one and only," Twink replied. "What happened to your eye?"
"Well, I--"
"HEY! HEY, EVERYONE! LISTEN!"
All heads turned about as Lanky came running in, obviously in a
panic. The Bandit stood up and made shushing motions with both hands.
"Take it easy, Lank. What's the matter?"
"It's Livewire." Lanky's face was ashen. "The police came and took
him away last night. It looked like they'd beaten him half to death."
PART 5: All good things
Early March 1982
"Oh, I don't believe this! What the hell kind of bullshit are they
shovelling here?" The Bandit threw down the newspaper disgustedly and
kicked it into the corner with a curse. "Goddamned pseudo-journalistic
shits!"
He punched his data card into the debit monitor as if he'd been
punching the Arcadian's editor, and grabbed a tray from the stack at the
head of the heaterstack line as if he were grabbing her by the throat. His
scowl did its duty; the other students at the dinner table kept their
conversations to themselves, and nobody tried to talk to him. The empty
dining hall was spotlessly clean, and the only sound was the rumble of the
gathering crowd outside the double doors.
Finishing his dinner with the haste of the enraged, he picked up his
tray and carried it back to the kitchen, throwing it on the dumper while he
fired up the Stendorf and got it heating. Stork looked him over dubiously
as he came around to the uniform drawer, and silently held out a folded
apron. The Bandit snatched it with a growl and tossed it over his head,
tying it on as he went to retrieve a pair of rubber gloves from the glove
box.
"Um, Bandit?" As always, Stork's voice was deep and quiet, a boom
that went well with his nearly two meters of height.
"What?" The Bandit hissed in pain as a blast of scalding steam hit
him in the face, gusting out of the Stendorf's gaping maw.
"This is a disgusting job. Don't make it even less pleasant for us.
Please?"
The Bandit glared at him for a long moment, then sighed, somewhat
deflated. "Okay, okay," he muttered. "Sorry. I'm just not in the best of
moods tonight, that's all."
"Obviously not," Stork agreed, tying on his own apron. "At the risk
of sounding like the Wiz, d'you want to talk about it?"
"No," the Bandit snapped. "There's nothing to talk about. I'm just
overreacting, I guess. But God damn it, you'd think the idiots who ran the
Arcadian would be a little more careful about getting their facts straight!"
"Oh, is that all?" Stork sighed. "You KNOW they make it all up,
Bandit. Simmer down, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, all right. HEY, FASTBACK! COME ON, LET'S GET
STARTED!"
"Coming, coming, coming," Fastback drawled, tying on his apron as
he sauntered back to the Stendorf station. "Anon, anon. Okay, who's on
what?"
"Um, I had Stendorf duty last night, so I'm on tray-dump tonight,"
Stork volunteered.
"So that means I have Stendorf duty tonight, ay okay," Fastback
nodded, taking up a position by the back end of the huge, puffing machine.
"And I'm in the sink," the Bandit nodded. "Okay, here we go,
people! Hup, two!" The first stack of used dinner trays came rattling back
into the kitchen, pushed awkwardly by a young student server/clearer, and
the familiar rhythm kicked into gear: trays emptied and cleared into the
trashvat by the Stork, slid over to the Bandit for a quick scrub, and into the
Stendorf and out the other side, clean and sterile, for Fastback to put away.
Two hundred trays an hour, six nights a week, the Bandit thought grimly.
Well, it pays the bills.
The temperature in the stuffy kitchen gradually climbed into the
nineties as the Stendorf's steam mingled with the air. The Bandit wiped a
forearm across his sweaty brow and dove back into the sink full of boiling
water, dishes rattling in his hands as he cleaned and stacked them.
"Window!"
"Window? Ay okay! Bandit! Window?"
"Uh, window! Yeah, sure, I got it," the Bandit puffed, reaching
across the Stendorf's entry gate to the window and throwing it wide open.
The night was cold, but the breeze was pure heaven in the cramped
kitchen.
"Ahhhhh, I'm alive again. Thanks, Bandit!"
"No problem, Stork ole pal," the Bandit said with a fleeting smile.
"Hey, are you boys up to loaning your old pal Bandit a tonsil or two?"
"Bass on line," Stork grinned.
"Baritone on line," Fastback grinned. "What'll we sing?"
"How about some Elvis?" Bandit suggested.
"Aaaaaalissooooooon, Mah aim is troooooo," Stork wailed.
"Wrong Elvis, you foon!" The Bandit laughed in the gouts of steam.
"You know I can be found--sitting all alone-- you ran off and left me babe,
and now I'm on my own--"
"Don't be cruel (dooooowah)
To a heart that's true (ooooooooo)
Don't be cruel (doooooowah)
To a heart that's true (ahhhhhhh)
I don't need no other love,
Darling, it's just you I'm--"
"THINKIN' OF," Stork boomed. The next two stanzas went by in a
flash, with Fastback and Stork bop-bopping behind the Bandit, and at the
end of the song, the trio were startled by the sound of applause from
outside the window.
Squinting through the steam and out into the night, the Bandit could
just make out the figures of some people standing under the window.
Waving the steam away, he suddenly realized that they were girls,
Lovepilers from the look of them. "Pussy alert," he hissed, sotto voce,
smiling and waving out the window at them. They giggled and returned
the wave.
"Right," Stork whispered. He cleared his throat. "Don' know why,
there's no clouds up in the sky--"
"STORMY WEATHER," Fastback and the Bandit crooned
theatrically, and the three dishwashing serenaders mugged their way
through that and a couple of other songs before the girls waved cheery
goodbyes and headed off down the road that led past the Roach Motel.
The Bandit's eyes popped as he saw them walk across the East Quad,
right past the turnoff for the Lovepile, and up the steps of the Virgin Vault.
"Hey, those babes were V.V.'s! What the hell were they doing risking
their reps by listening to us?"
"Can't get pregnant from singing," Fastback grinned, heaving the
umpteenth rack of clean dishes out of the Stendorf.
"No, but we all know where shameless revelry can lead," Stork
retorted with a smile. "Hey, guess what? This is the last tray!"
"And there was much rejoicing," the Bandit sighed.
"Yayyyy," Fastback deadpanned, reaching for another dish rack.
"Hey there hi there ho there," the Bandit called, charging into the
lounge. Thud waved, not looking up from his cards. Lanky managed a
wave, as did Mimosa, who was studying her hand intensely and ordering
and reordering the cards again and again.
"Greetings, Bandit!" That particular bellow was Thunder's; the
training of a New England professor and the manners of a coal miner.
"And have you robbed from the rich to give to the poor tonight?"
"By all means," the Bandit grinned, emptying his coat pockets onto
the coffee table. A small pile of chocolates and mints, given out to
students who ate at the Roach Motel and normally unavailable at Scum
Central, was soon divided up and passed around, the Bandit saving a
couple for his own use.
"Ah, a gentleman and a scholar," Thunder smiled, running a hand
over his bristling beard as he popped a mint into his mouth. "My thanks,
sir."
"The pleasure, as always, is mine," the Bandit replied with a bow.
"Hey, Bandit," Conan said, getting up from the couch where he'd
been napping, "Did you read the paper tonight?"
The Bandit's smile vanished. "Yeah," he growled. "Those miserable
shits. I'd like to stuff a boot up their butts."
"Well, now, let's back off and look at this thing objectively," Thud
said carefully. "They didn't mention his name, and they left out the details
that might have upset the student body. After all, what good would it do
to tell the truth?"
"It never hurts to tell the truth," the Bandit said. He picked up a
paper from where someone had left it, and flipped it open. "No mention of
the misidentification! Nothing about what had really happened!
'Disturbed,' it says. 'Disturbed'!" He tossed the paper away in disgust.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"It means that he was disturbed," Thunder offered without a smile.
"Although I daresay the police were somewhat more disturbed...."
"That's the truth," the Bandit smiled. The smile, though, flickered
and was gone after a moment. "I'm gonna miss him."
"So are we all, Bandit," Thud nodded. "So are we all."
The Bandit listlessly picked up the paper from where he'd thrown it
on the floor, and read through the article one more time.
ARCADIA STUDENT ACQUITTED OF ASSAULT CHARGES; WON'T
RETURN
The criminal court of Wright County today dismissed charges against
the Arcadia student who singlehandedly assaulted and beat the entire
campus security squad on 14 February, at the request of the Office of the
College Chancellor.
The student had left a Valentine's Day party in a state of extreme
inebriation after behaving disruptively and yelling threats against a female
Arcadia student with whom he was believed to be having relationship
troubles. Security was called to the scene to escort the student home, but
he became violent when approached and injured the two Security officers
who attempted to restrain him. The student fled to the Student Union,
where he was apprehended and taken to the County Jail by the remainder
of the Campus Security Squad and two Arcadia Police officers, both of
whom were treated and released from Wright Memorial for minor bruises.
He was released on bond the following day, and taken home by his family.
The charges of aggravated assault were thrown out for reasons not
revealed to the Arcadian's reporters. However, the student, whom the
Psychological Service has characterized as "disturbed," has refused to
return to Arcadia to complete his course of study, citing police brutality.
"They didn't show him their badges," The Bandit muttered, wadding
the paper up in his fists. "He was drunk, for shit's sake! He thought they
were mugging him! What the hell would you have done if two big guys
came out of nowhere and grabbed you while you were walking home?"
"That's probably why they let him go, Bandit," Thunder said quietly.
"And it's probably why the College had the Court dismiss charges. It
wouldn't look good for them to admit that their Security staff weren't well-
trained enough to identify themselves before attempting to manhandle a
student...."
The Bandit tossed the paper into a nearby wastebasket.
"Goodbye, Livewire," he said softly to himself, and stalked off
toward his room.
Mary Magdalene sat under the paper sky on her bed, staring at a point
on the wall a few inches to the left of the desk in her room. Princess
whined, obviously upset at her mistress's state of mind, and nosed her head
under a limp hand, trying to encourage a pat.
Mary Magdalene looked down at the small brown-and-white dog at
her right hand. Then, slowly, almost unwillingly, she turned her gaze to
the bed by her left hand. There upon the rumpled bedclothes, lay the
letter, half open upon the envelope and the bits of scarlet wax from the
seal. She picked it up and began to read it for the thousandth, two
thousandth time.
My beloved Mary:
It pains me to write this, for I can imagine some measure of the pain
that this letter will bring you. Do not fault me for lack of courage; I wish
to present my case before you in full, without interruptions, and the only
way that I know how to do this is in writing. By now I am certain that you
have guessed what I am about to say....
She let the letter fall from her fingers, and looked back down at the
bed. Her picking up the letter had exposed the envelope, and one more
thing that had lain beside her for nearly a month now. It glittered as she
picked it up, sharp edges gleaming in the candlelight. She looked at the
reflection of her eyes in the burnished steel, eyes waxy with lack of sleep,
eyes dry because there were simply no more tears to be shed.
She held up a pale, cold wrist, and touched the edge of the knife to it.
A lengthwise cut, she recalled; that was the best way to do it, so it couldn't
clot shut after you passed out....
For a long time, she sat unmoving, staring at the knife. Princess
jumped to her feet and ran barking from the room, ears perked for the
trespass of a neighborhood cat or some such. Mary Magdalene barely
noticed that she was gone. The candle flickered--
"Do it."
She jerked about, startled, the knife dropping from her hands.
"Do it. Save us all the trouble, you pathetic bitch."
The Bandit's eyes were unreadable in the candlelight. He stood in the
doorway, one hand idly ruffling a shaggy ear as Princess stood on her hind
legs and chewed on the tails of his jacket.
"That's the easy way out. You know it. So does he. He's counting
on you to do it. You'll be out of his hair for good, and that's what he
wants."
Mary Magdalene's lips parted, her voice a desert-dry whisper.
"My life for him....I gave him my life...."
"No, you didn't. You gave him three years, and now you see what it
got you in the end. Don't make his victory complete, Marymag!" The
Bandit squatted down beside her on the hardwood floor, holding Princess
with one strong hand. "He sucked the life out of you to stay alive, and he
sucked the sanity out of you so he could always have someone around to
practise with. Now he's got someone else to practise with, so why throw
your life away? It's yours again, for the first time in years."
"Why her?" The whisper held the agony of damnation. "Why her?"
"She's better in bed than you are, from what I understand," the Bandit
said callously. "She's got nicer tits than you do, she's got better hips, and
she's better on the guitar. But most important of all, she's crazier than
you'll ever be, and he needs that most of all." He smiled, a satanic smile in
the firelight. "He needs a nice, psychotic girlfriend that he can fuck at
night and headshrink by day, to keep himself in trim. And you're out of a
job, seems like. So why not join the rest of us out here in the real world?
It's not too bad, once you get to know it...."
"You have friends, MaryMag. They care about you, and they don't
want to see you any more hurt than you already are. He did the hurting, up
until now. Any hurting that happens from now on, though, is hurting that
YOU do to YOURSELF. Don't be selfdestructive! If you die, we'll all
mourn your passing. Even he will, I expect. But in time, a year, ten years,
you'll be forgotten, moldering away under the ground while we get on with
our lives! What kind of revenge is that?"
She looked away from him, down at the knife. She picked it up,
gripped it convulsively in her fist, stared at it.
"There is only one revenge, Mary Magdalene. To dance on your
enemy's grave. And you can't do that if you go to the grave first.
"Give me the knife."
Mary Magdalene looked over at him, her eyes bleak.
"Please?"
Slowly, she handed the weapon to her. He took it gingerly by the
blade, looked around the room, and suddenly whipped his hand forward in
a blur. There was a meaty thunk of steel hitting wood, and Mary
Magdalene tunred to see an old photograph of her and the Rainbow
Wizard, pinned to the wall by the knife blade through the Rainbow
Wizard's face.
She smiled shakily. "Can you teach me to do that?"
He returned the smile. "Not if you're dead, kid."
Mary Magdalene laughed, her first real laugh in weeks. "Great!"
Princess barked and ran to her, and she picked up the tiny, squirming
life and hugged it tightly to her, her eyes moist.
"C'mon, we're getting a group together to go get ice cream. You
oughta get to know your friends again!" The Bandit helped her to her feet,
and stood back awkwardly from her. She was exactly his height in her
bare feet, and this was the closest they'd ever been to one another without
the Wiz around. She looked into his eyes, a hint of her old fire beginning
to smolder there once more, and gave him a quick, hard hug.
"Thank you," she whispered.
Late March 1982
Spring Break was over, and the crowds of students were settling back
into the swing of things, crowded about the lounge and chatting about their
vacations or watching television. There were the usual faces, and some
other students who weren't normal lounge types; a pair of jockettes from
the Swim Team wing getting ready to go out and hit the bars, a punk in a
three-button sack suit and string tie sitting and looking bored at the world
from behind his silvered wrapround shades. Conan surveyed each and
every face as it went by, saying hello to those he knew.
"Is the Bandit back yet?"
"I think so. Hey, Lanky, YOU were the last person to see him; is he
coming back today?"
Lanky tucked a long string of greasy black hair behind his ear
nervously and scratched at his straggly beard. "Yes, he is," he said, but I
haven't seen him, either."
"How was your visit with his family? Did everything go okay?"
"Oh, yeah, everything went fine," Lanky said, looking around him
with a bit of agitation. "His parents are wonderful people, and I must
admit they certainly aren't to blame for his being so skinny!"
"Oh, yeah!" Thud grinned, nodding. "His mom can cook like nobody
I've ever seen. I'll never forget last Thanksgiving, boy...."
"Hi, everyone," Flower said, skipping up and giving the Rainbow
Wizard a quick kiss. Mary Magdalene, sitting nearby, didn't even flinch.
"Hope everyone had a nice vacation!"
"You bet," Conan grinned. "Had the whole gym to myself!"
"Oh, please," Cricket sighed, settling against him more comfortably.
Mary Magdalene was only half following the conversation. The punk
on the couch was staring at her, his face an utter blank behind his shades.
He was robotlike, utterly expressionless, yet there was something about
him....
"OH, MY GOD!"
Everyone practically leaped out of his skin at Mary Magdalene's
shriek. A dozen pairs of eyes looked curiously at her, but she could only
point wordlessly at the punk sitting near the circle of friends and make
strangled noises.
"It's--HE'S--"
The punk, obviously annoyed at such attention, raised a sneering
eyebrow...a thick, scowling eyebrow that could only belong to one person.
"BANDIT!"
The familiar grin broke out on the smooth-shaven face as the shades
came off to reveal the dark eyes. Instantly there was pandemonium as the
Bandit was surrounded by people laughing, running hands through his new
buzzcut, and fingering the material of his suit.
"I don't believe it!"
"Yeah, ain't I something?"
"Where'd you get the suit?"
"It was one of my dad's. Ain't it the most?"
"My GOD, your HAIR!"
"Let's just say I got tired of being mistaken for Lanky...."
"Lanky! You knew all the time!"
"He did it before I arrived, it was a shock to me, too!"
"Hey, you have a chin!"
"Oh, gee, thanks! Listen, people, I need you all to keep this quiet
until Twink sees me, okay?" The nods of agreement were mixed with
wicked grins, all around.
"Here she comes!"
Instantly the shades were on and the eyebrows were tucked away.
People resumed their conversations with some effort, stifling an
occasional snicker as Twink came bouncing up to greet them.
"Happy end of vacation, everybody! Has anyone seen Bandit?"
"Um, h-he's around," Conan said with a shushed giggle. Twink
looked around at the others, then sat down uncertainly next to the punk,
who politely moved aside for her.
"So how was everyone's--" Twink stopped. The punk had moved
closer to her, seemingly nonchalantly. She moved a bit away from him,
and said, "How was--" He moved closer to her, and she found herself
running out of couch. "How--" He shifted even closer, his thigh brushing
hers. Lanky made a gagging noise and quietly fell on the floor. Mary
Magdalene had a knuckle stuck in her mouth and was chewing on it to
keep from laughing. "What's so--" Twink whirled to glare at the punk,
whose hand had just brushed her thigh. Her glare turned to a puzzled stare
as she regarded him closely for the first time, and then a disbelieving smile
broke out on her face.
"Hey!" She reached out and plucked off his shades, and began to
laugh with the others as she recognized him, throwing her arms around
him.
"You're unbelievable!" She sighed and rested her chin on his
shoulder as he returned the embrace, her eyes closed. But his eyes weren't
closed, and nobody noticed that his smile was for Mary Magdalene.
Late April 1982
"What's the matter, love?" Twink looked across the table at the
Bandit, her eyes concerned. "You've been really quiet lately. That isn't
like you."
I'm leaving you, Twink. Forgive me.
The Bandit picked at his dessert, eyes downcast. "Nothing," he
whispered. "I'm just worried about finals, that's all."
"No, you're not," Twink said matter-of-factly. "You never worry
about finals until Reading Period, and sometimes not even then. Why
won't you tell me what's wrong?"
Because I feel like a shit sandwich and I don't want to see you cry.
"It's hard, it's just hard to put into words. I--"
Her eyes were wide and bright with tears. "You want to call off our
relationship, don't you?"
Oh, God. NOW she picks to be observant. Why me, God?
"I, I...." He sighed and threw down his fork. "It's not your fault,
okay? It's not you at all. It's me. I'm just not, I'm not really giving you
what you deserve from a relationship, and I don't think I can. It's funny; in
a way, you're TOO good to me, Twink."
"I love you," she said simply. "How else can I be?"
"Aw, Jesus!" He buried his face in his hands. "You're not making
this very easy, y'know!"
"I don't want it to be easy. I don't want it to happen at all!" Twink
got up, grabbing her tray, and strode out of the lunchroom, the Bandit
quickly following behind her. She was out in the rainy street and pulling
on her coat before he'd had a chance to get rid of his tray, and it took him
some running to catch up with her.
"Twink, please...."
"No, don't ask me to understand! I don't want to understand, just go
away and let me be!"
"NO!" He grabbed her roughly by the arm, and spun her around,
looking into the tear-filled blue eyes. "I'm not going to cast you aside like
an old shoe, dammit! You were my friend before you were my girlfriend,
and if you aren't still my friend then everything we had was for
NOTHING!"
She blinked at him. "You really mean that, don't you?"
"Of course!" And I really do, too, which makes it easier to say.
Lying to you is like kicking a cripple, Twink; I don't like to do it because
there's no challenge in it. "We'll always be friends, I hope. You should
always feel that you can confide in me, that you can come to me with your
troubles, that you have me to care about you. Will losing me in your bed
be such a terrible loss? We've had wonderful times together, and I hope
that we'll have more! Just...not that way. Does any of that make sense?"
She nodded, her eyes very wide. "Yes," she whispered.
"Well, good." He smiled, a sad smile. "Let me walk you home?"
"Sure." He put an arm around her and held her tight as they crossed
the Eastern Quad, up the stairs and in the door. He walked her through the
lounge and up the stairs to her room in silence.
She unlocked the door, opened it, then paused, turning to face the
Bandit. "Can I say something?"
"Always...."
"You're my best friend, Bandit." She ducked her head shyly. "I
thought you should know that."
A tear rolled down the Bandit's face, vanishing in the stubble on his
cheek. "That means a lot, Twink. YOU mean a lot. Don't ever forget
that."
"I won't." She reached up and kissed him, tenderly, one last time.
Then she turned and walked through the door.
"Bandit?" She didn't turn around.
"Yes?"
"Be good to Mary Magdalene...."
The door shut quietly.
Mary Magdalene was sitting on the beanbag chair in the Bandit's
living room, reading one of Conan's comic books, when the Bandit came
in. He smiled thoughtfully at her, and she returned the smile. Well, I'm
now girlfriendless, the Bandit thought wearily. If I end up alone for the
rest of this year, it's my own damn fault.
"How are you doing, Bandit?"
He forced casualness into his voice. "Oh, I can't complain, I guess.
Twink and I have called it quits for the time being...."
"Really?" She sat up, the comic book forgotten. "Oh, Bandit, I'm so
sorry! What happened?"
"Oh, nothing to get upset about. We needed to give each other a little
more room to grow, that's all. We aren't mad at each other or anything...."
"Oh." She smiled at him. "I'm surprised that she has trouble growing
with you around. You certainly were a huge help to me...."
He grinned at her. "No, YOU did all the hard work. I just gave you a
push every now and then."
"Yeah, right! Uh-huh," she laughed. The Bandit's heart skipped a
beat; innocently or not, when Mary Magdalene smiled at you, you noticed
it.
"Hey, listen! I've decided I'm going to do something symbolic
tomorrow morning, and I thought you'd get a kick out of knowing about
it." Mary Magdalene dug into the pocket of her jeans, and pulled out
something small wrapped in string, which she undid and showed to the
Bandit. It was the tiny brass neckbell the Rainbow Wizard had given her.
"I'm going to throw it in the river tomorrow," she said proudly.
The Bandit's smile died on his lips. Somewhere deep inside him, a
tiny voice was raising a protest against the hot tide of joy and triumph in
his heart, and it chilled him for an instant.
Once in a while, he thought, just for a moment, things become really
clear, and I can see the future....
"Don't." His voice was soft but final. "Give it to me; I'll keep it for
you. Someday you're going to want it back."
She shook her head. "Never."
"'Never and forever are neither for men.' Fritz Leiber." He held out a
hand. "Trust me on this one, MaryMag."
She looked at him for a long moment, frowning, then shrugged and
handed over the tiny bell. It tinkled gently as he took it, and he rested it on
his palm and gazed thoughtfully at it for a moment.
Then, a small smile quirked across his upper lip. He looked up at
Mary Magdalene, and shook the bell slightly, ringing it.
Mary Magdalene looked at the bell for a moment, then gazed into the
Bandit's eyes. She got up on her feet, took the half step into his arms, and
that incredible smile was his, all his, as she brought her lips down to his.
There are kisses, and there are kisses, the Bandit thought in a daze.
And then there are kisses. And there are...yow.
He wasn't sure how much time went by as he held her and kissed her,
but it took a stiff back to make him break the kiss. He drew back from her
and looked into the dark fire in her eyes.
"I want you," she whispered.
He smiled, a rakish devil's smile, and motioned into his room with a
bow. She returned the bow, one eyebrow cocked superciliously, and
glided into the room. As he pulled the door shut, she grabbed the front of
his shirt and began to unbutton it, kissing him all the while. He returned
the favor, unbuttoning her blouse and expertly reaching behind her to pop
the clasp on her brassiere. She lowered her arms and let everything fall to
the floor as he caressed her small, firm breasts, feeling the jutting, conical
nipples come erect as he rolled them beneath his thumbs. She moaned as
his hands teased her, and she reached down to unbuckle his belt and unzip
his pants. He broke the kiss with a jerk of surprise as he felt her reach into
his underwear and firmly grasp his penis, fondling its length as it
hardened.
"Too fast for you?" Her smile was teasing, challenging him. He
returned the smile casually, reaching down to unzip her jeans.
"Not at--" He tried to slip a hand into the front of her panties, to
punctuate the "all" with a finger on her clitoris, but they were too tight,
and they resisted his intrusion. He tried again, grunting, "Not at...." Still
no luck. "Not, rrrrrrrrRRRRR, NOT AT--"
Mary Magdalene broke away from him, laughing out loud. "Give it
up!"
"RROWR!" He grabbed her by the wrists and pushed her back to the
bed and onto it, climbing on top of her and yanking down her jeans and
panties from her smoothly rounded hips. Taking only the barest second to
admire her thick tangle of black pubic hair and her beautiful, swollen
vulva, he lowered his face into the fragrant mass. "Not at
alllllmmmmmmmmmm....."
"Ooohh," Mary Magdalene sighed. "Not at all! Mmmm, not at
alllll...."
The next few minutes were a testimony to the Bandit's years of
practice. While Mary Magdalene sighed and slowly rocked her hips
against his busy mouth, her fingers running through his short hair, he
quickly and efficiently untied her sneakers, removed them, peeled off her
socks, finished removing her pants, undid his own boots, removed his own
socks, and kicked his own pants away into the corner of the room. He
broke the oral embrace with a long, slow kiss on her swollen clitoris, and
kissed his way up her belly and across her breasts to her neck, chin, ear,
and finally her lips.
"Hey!" She said in mock surprise. "There's a naked man in my bed!"
"Really? Where?" He looked around suspiciously, making her laugh
in delight. "All I see is a naked woman...."
"Hmmmm," she smiled. "You know what I like about you?"
"Um, no. What?"
"We're about the same height," she said, getting up and gently
pushing him back onto his back on the bed. "So I can do this!" And with
a quick swing of her hips, she threw one thigh across his body and lowered
her succulent rump down onto the Bandit's surprised face. Suddenly
drowning in pussy, he could only moan into her labia as she gripped his
penis firmly and began to suck and pull on it.
The difference between Twink's selftaught, clumsy fellatio and Mary
Magdalene's expert technique was obvious in the first five seconds; her
teeth were never too rough on his sensitive skin, her lips were strong and
her suction demanding. He felt like she would suck his innards out
through his penis as she plunged her head effortlessly to the base of it and
drew upward like she was trying to get an entire milkshake into her mouth
at once.
He reached down and fondled her breasts as she sucked him. "Howm
vap?"
"Gmmmph," she responded with a throaty chuckle that he felt all the
way down the length of his shaft, and a sassy little wiggle of her ass across
his face. He alternated stimulating her with his lips, tongue, and nose, as
she sucked and pulled harder and harder on his schlong.
Suddenly, without warning, an orgasm sneaked up and swatted the
Bandit upside the proverbial head. His hips bucked and he managed a
muffled "MMgd, M CMNG!" as she swallowed jolt after jolt of thick,
sticky semen, milking him dry without spilling a drop.
"Yum," she breathed, pulling off of his wet, swollen member. "That
was a lovely starter...now I want to fuck you." She turned around and
snuggled down on the bed beside him, pumping vigorously on his penis,
which felt like it was about to come off.
"Uh, birth control?" The Bandit managed to get out.
"Huh? Oh, damn!" Mary Magdalene let go of him, frowning. "I
forgot to pack my diaphragm!"
"Uh, hold on a second, I'll be right back, sit tight, okay?" The Bandit
leaped off the bed, clanging his head against the upper bunk and eliciting a
half-laughed scream from Mary Magdalene, grabbed his bathrobe, which
barely covered his erection, and ran across the dorm room to the bedroom
where Conan lay snoring.
"Conan! Conan, wake up!" The Bandit's voice was a panicked hiss.
Conan didn't budge.
"Conan! For God's sake, wake up, PLEASE!"
"Hmm? Hmmph, whuzzza?"
"Condoms! Conan, where do you keep your condoms?"
"MMph, connmms?"
"YES! Where are they?"
"Desk dror'." Conan raised partly up off the bed and pointed at his
desk, then collapsed.
"Thanks!" The Bandit opened the desk, rummaged through it
frantically, and came up holding a treasure beyond price: a Trojan with
spermicide lube.
Conan was already falling back asleep. "Whooyuh gnna fuk?"
The Bandit looked over at him, opened his mouth, closed it again,
and then grinned wickedly. He leaned over Conan and whispered, "Mary
Magdalene."
"Oh. 'Snice...." Conan began to snore.
The Bandit came running back into his room, saying, "Sorry for the
delay, hope you haven't cooled down too much, let's see here...." He sat
down on the edge of the bed, fumbling with the condom wrapper
nervously.
"Here, let me." Mary Magdalene deftly plucked the wrapper from his
hands, opened it with a gentle tear, and extracted the condom, tossing the
wrapper aside. She pulled his face down to hers and kissed him soundly,
as one expert hand rolled the condom onto his penis in a snap. "Now get
in here and do it to me," she breathed.
"Uh, yes, ma'am," the Bandit gasped, feeling somewhat out of his
depth. He crawled on top of her, positioned the head of his cock at the
entrance to her vagina, and eased himself into her gently. He sighed and
relaxed on top of her as he felt himself bottom out in her pussy. "Okay?"
"Oh, more than okay! Mmmmm!" She held him tightly and sighed
in pleasure as he began to thrust rhythmically, in and out, in and out.
Coming twice in a short period of time isn't an easy feat. Coming
twice with the second time being wrapped in a condom is even harder.
Two hours, three rest breaks, and untold tiny orgasms for Mary Magdalene
later, the Bandit gave up and collapsed onto her with a grunt.
"No more," he gasped. "Please....I'm dead...."
"Oh, that's all right," Mary Magdalene said soothingly. "You felt
wonderful. I haven't come that often in ages! We'll try it again in the
morning. Sleep now, darling...."
"In the morning?" The Bandit rolled off of her, pulling off the
condom and groaning. "Oh, God, no!"
"We'll discuss it later," she whispered, silencing him with a kiss and
switching off the light by the bed. "Sleep well, Bandit."
But the Bandit was already asleep. It had been a LONG day....
PART 6: A mistake made, a mistake mended
October 1982
The tiny dorm singlet wasn't as large or spacious as the old quad, but
it only held one man and his belongings, so it didn't have to be much more
than cozy. The bed stretched from end to end of the narrow space, with
barely enough room on the walls for two of the Roger Deans, and there
was only a ratty old bathmat on the floor in place of Zero's Persian rug, but
the wires and cables festooning every spare inch of space and the speakers
mounted on the walls were a sure sign that this was the Bandit's home,
unspoiled by Zero's obsessive neatness. The lights were out and there was
no sound in the room save the muffled hum of music through a pair of
headphones and the dry, sandy whisper of an occasional word or disjointed
phrase.
The Bandit was lying on his back on the rumpled bed, staring at the
ceiling as the music played on. It was "The Wall," the disheveled old tape
copy he'd played half to death in 1980 while mourning the loss of his last
high-school sweetheart. When he'd met Teenie, the tape had been
gleefully tossed into the back of his music crate and ignored for three
years. But now it was on again, and the Bandit found he remembered
every word, every note.
A hastily scrawled letter lay on the desk by the bed, beige parchment
smeared with Mary Magdalene's careless script. He'd read it only once,
but he could quote its contents verbatim.
How dare you attempt to lay blame for what happened on me? How
dare you insinuate that the cruelty and misery I've been dragged through
were all my fault, and that you were some kind of a helpless victim? If
you won't accept kinder words, Bandit, then let me give it to you in your
own unique style: I do not want to be in any sort of relationship with you,
ever again. I deserve better than you, and I will not be dragged down to
your level, and in fact I think it better if we didn't even speak to one
another again....
The Bandit's lips moved unconsciously, following the lyrics of the
tape. He couldn't hear himself with the headphones on, so he couldn't
have known that he was singing out loud, a hoarse, miserable croak that
somehow would have fit in with the music, had anyone been listening.
"Ooooh, babe, don't leave me now,
How could you go?
When you know how I need you, need you, need you, need you,
To put through the shredder in front of my friends,
Ooh BABE...."
The summer was gone, a lingering pink fog that contained two or
three months of his life, now gone forever, the details blurry. He'd been
SO in love with her.... quit his lab job back home to stay in Arcadia and
sling hash, just so they could be together, found a miserable little room to
sublet in a boarding house on the edge of town and made it their love nest,
barely eight feet from wall to wall but it held them, held their love all
night every night, a womb, a cocoon, an oasis....
"I love you."
"I love you."
"I love you."
"I love you."
Her breasts, slick with sweat and his saliva, slipping up and down the
length of his penis, her giggles as he expertly curved her diaphragm into a
perfect U-shape and slid it into her cunt, tickling her clit as he did, the
black, black fan of her long hair over his face as they slept, her head on his
shoulder....NO! Don't think of it, put it aside!
"Hey you, out there in the cold,
Getting lonely, getting old,
Can you feel me?"
When had it gone sour? The trip she took by herself to see that
concert when he couldn't get time off from work? The week he'd spent in
bed with the flu, when she didn't want to get infected? All he was sure of
was that when he'd returned in September, it was dead or dying. And he'd
been the one to deliver the deathblow--ENOUGH! DON'T THINK
ABOUT IT!
"You better make your face up in your favorite disguise--"
It sprang into being unbidden, he couldn't hold it back any longer, the
night out in the lounge, him sitting alone, brooding and miserable, her
approaching timidly, a shaky smile--
"Can I rest my head on your shoulder?"
And then--why, why, WHY?-- that good old Bandit instinct:
"Wait a second. Let me note down the date, here."
"Sitting in a bunker, here behind my wall,
Waiting for the worms to come...."
It wasn't fair. All of the wonderful things he'd felt over the summer
were so hazy, so hard to grasp and hold onto, but the next thirty seconds
were etched into his brain like glass oozing under spilled acid... Her look
of agonized shock, as if he'd driven a stake into her heart, her headlong
flight out the door and into the night, and Conan--CONAN, of all people!-
-
"Bandit, that was unquestionably the lowest shot I've ever seen."
And the rush of the freezing wind as he ran out after her--
"MaryMag, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry--"
"LEAVE ME ALONE, BANDIT, NOTHING YOU CAN SAY
WILL DO MORE THAN HURT ME, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"
And his forlorn wail in the night behind her as she ran:
"I LOVE YOUUUUUU!"
And then the cold meetings, his pleas for forgiveness, all the studied
cynicism coming back to haunt him...and finally the letter. That letter.
And there was nothing at all left to say.
The Bandit's eyes squeezed shut as a cry of utter agony echoed in his
ears, bringing the thunderous music to a crashing halt and leaving behind
the sad, sweet sound of a lone piano. A flood of tears began to pour down
his face, tears like he hadn't cried since the day they'd put Dad into the
earth and shovelled dirt on him, tears for the loss of something, of
everything. And he sang along with the tape, a plaintive wail that he didn't
care who heard.
"STOP!
I wanna go home--
Take off this uniform and leave the show.
And I'm waiting in this cell because I have to know--
Have I been guilty all this time?"
In this cell. This tiny room, alone. No more music, no band, losing
my friends, failing school, alone, forgotten. I deserve it. I deserve it.
"Oh, God help me...."
The Bandit tossed the headphones away. He didn't want to hear the
last song, the one that hinted that there might be some hope left in his
world. He cried and cried, and at last he fell asleep.
November 1982
"Knock, knock! Can I come in?"
The Bandit looked up from his desk, startled, and pulled off his
headphones. He smiled and reached back to switch off the tape deck,
saying, "Sure, Twink. You're always welcome here."
"Thanks!" She came in and shut the door behind her, her cheeks
flushed with the cold wind outside, her smile bright. She came over and
stood behind the Bandit's chair, bending over to hug his shoulders and kiss
his cheek.
"Hey," the Bandit said with a grin as he reached back behind him to
awkwardly return the hug, "what was that for?"
"Oh, I just felt like it," Twink replied breezily. She did a neat little
pirouette and fell laughing onto his bed, leaning back on the woolen
covers and smiling at him with a look that told him volumes. The autumn
sun shone in her honey-blonde hair, and the Bandit felt that familiar catch
in his breath whenever she was near him.
He put down his pen, and said, "Okay, okay, it's obvious I'm not
going to get any more grading done until you tell me what's on your mind.
Did you meet someone special over fall break, or something?"
She nodded eagerly, her lower lip caught pensively between her teeth.
"He's called the Paladin," she said with a dreamy smile. "We met at a
Dark Age Society Revel back home...."
"A WHAT?" The Bandit slapped his forehead. "Oh, Twink, you
DIDN'T!"
"Didn't what?" She frowned at him in sudden worry. "What's
wrong?"
"Oh, nothing," he replied disgustedly, grimacing. "Just bad
memories, that's all. The DAS and I have kind of a feud going on in my
home town, and I do my best to stay away from them. But," he added
more solicitously, "Some of them are very nice people, I must admit...."
"He's WONDERFUL!" Her voice was practically quivering. "He
was so romantic, and so sweet and gentle....We're going to be married!"
The Bandit's jaw dropped. "Married?"
"YES! He proposed, and I said I'd have to think it over, and he said I
could take as long as I wanted because he'd wait forever for me! Oh,
Bandit, I'm so HAPPY!"
The Bandit shook his head with a smile. "Well, if you're happy, I'm
happy, sweetheart. I just hope he takes good care of you, that's all."
"Oh, he did, all right." Her smile was playfully wicked now.
That sat the Bandit back in his chair more than the marriage proposal.
He asked in a faint whisper, "You mean he...You and he...?"
"Uh-huh!" There were almost tears in her eyes. "I'm so glad I waited
for just the right time, Bandit! It as beautiful, and it didn't hurt at all! I
didn't even bleed, or anything! He was just, just GRAND!"
"Wow." The Bandit scratched his head in a daze. "I, uh, don't know
what to say, I, um...wow."
"Oh, c'mon, Bandit! I've never seen you at a loss for words before!"
Twink leaned forward and gently stroked the Bandit's cheek. "Are you
jealous?"
"Well, uh...." He looked into space for a moment, a thoughtful frown
on his face, then gave a short, sharp nod. "Yes, dammit! I am, I guess. I
know I don't have a right to be, but you're just so important to me, I kind
of have trouble with the idea of you jumping in the sack with a guy you
barely know and coming out engaged!"
"Oh, no," she grinned, shaking her head. "I went IN engaged. I was
very clear on that point when we first met on Monday, when he asked me
for the first time to spend the night. And he said it was okay, and he didn't
hassle me or anything, and we spent the whole week together and we were
so happy and then he asked me to marry him and I--" She paused, out of
breath, hands waving in the air. "I just feel like FLYING!"
The Bandit watched her emote, his eyebrows puckered into a
forbidding glower. As she finished, he carefully composed himself, his
expression neutral. "Did he give you an engagement ring?"
"Uh, no, not yet," Twink sighed. "He didn't have the money, and we
didn't see anything we really liked at the DAS jewelry booths...."
"Uh-huh." The Bandit nodded sagely.
"He couldn't even find a nice ring with Guinevere helping, and she
knows ALL the best jewelers at the Revel! So we decided we could wait
for the PERFECT ring."
"Who's Guinevere?"
"His girlfriend," Twink said easily. "Ex-girlfriend, I mean. She was
really sweet about the whole thing, she said that he and she needed a little
space from one another and that she understood perfectly." She giggled.
"She even promised to keep him out of trouble for me while I was gone."
"I'll just bet she did." The Bandit's lips pursed grimly.
"Oh, lighten up, Bandit!" Twink gave him a playful shove. "I know
they're going to be together while I'm here, but it's okay...I trust him, and
he trusts me! We can have friends and people with us and still be true...."
"Uh-huh," the Bandit said drily.
"You seem skeptical," Twink said throatily, leaning forward and
giving the Bandit a good look down the front of her blouse. His eyebrows
raised. Since when has she started wearing red silk underwear? "That'd
be a real shame, considering the real reason I came over here...."
"Oh? And what was that?" He was only half listening to her, trying
to get his mind off of the impressive cleavage that was closer to him than
it'd been in half a year.
"To fuck your brains out," Twink sighed, grabbing the Bandit by the
hair and pulling him out of his chair and onto the bed with her. "I figured
that now that I'm not saving myself any more, I could at least give you a
taste of what you were decent enough not to demand when we were
dating...."
The Bandit allowed himself approximately two seconds of guilt over
forgetting the lonely torch he'd been carrying for Mary Magdalene for the
past month or six, and over the prospect of boinking another man's
fiancee. Then he gave the mental equivalent of a shrug, and kissed Twink
as hard as he could. I am but the slave of fickle Fate, he decided
philosophically. If she's set on expressing our friendship in such a, a, a
UNIQUE fashion, then who'm I to argue? YIPPEE! I don't know who
you are, Paladin, but thanks a HEAP!
He had almost forgotten what a wonderful body Twink had.
Memories from the dim past A. M. (Ante Magdalenus) came flooding
back as he kicked his sneakers off and pulled off her shoes and socks,
never pausing to break the incredible kiss they were sharing. His pants
followed, then hers, then his underwear and his shirt, then her blouse.
She broke the kiss, panting, and pushed him away for a moment. He
sat back against his pillow, buck naked and hard as a rock, and she ran a
hand down his chest and stomach as she arched her back and purred at
him, a coy smile on her face as she flexed her muscles and proudly threw
her breasts forward, straining against the clinging red fabric.
"You like?"
"Si, I like."
"Muchas gracias, senor," she laughed, sliding a finger down into her
cleavage. There was a tiny click, and the invisible front closure of the bra
sprang apart, leaving her breasts jiggling gently with each heaving breath.
She tossed the bra away, and slid her hands down her hips, peeling away
the matching red silk panties to reveal her lush golden curls of pubic
down.
"Now for a snack I've really missed," she chuckled, diving her head
down into his crotch. His lap vanished into a sun-kissed golden waterfall
of hair, and he dimly heard, "It tastes so gooommmmmmmmmmm...."
"Oh, God!" The Bandit's eyes actually crossed. "Easy, Twinkles,
easy! I appreciate your, urk, enthusiasm, but you're, ooch, you're biting
me!"
"Oh, am I?" She sank her teeth into the base of his dong with a
laugh.
"YIKES! GENTLY, WOMAN!"
"Hmmmm," she grinned, "maybe I should let you put it someplace
where I don't have any teeth." She crawled up onto him, kissing his lips
and pumping on his penis with a tightly gripped fist.
"Whoa! Whoa, time out, here!" The Bandit pushed her away gently.
"What's wrong?" She stopped, puzzled.
"Gotta get a condom," the Bandit explained, pulling a foil wrapper
out from under a pile of papers on his desk. Thank God I had a couple left
from before MaryMag (who? never heard of her. HAH!) started on the
diaphragm, he thought, tearing open the package and rolling the cold latex
onto his shaft with a grimace.
"Oh, that looks so terribly uncomfortable, dear," Twink said with a
shake of her head. "Anything I can do to help?"
"Yeah," the Bandit laughed, pulling her on top of him, "Help me
warm it up, it's cold!"
"EEEEK! It IS cold," Twink laughed, feeling the cool, slick invader
between her moist thighs. "Help me, Bandit...I'm not good at this yet...."
"My pleasure," he smiled, guiding his tool between her juicy labia
and feeling gently for the entrance to her cunt. His eyes widened in
surprise.
"Hey, you've still got your hymen! No wonder you didn't bleed!"
"Really?" Twink looked down at herself in perplexity. "Why didn't it
break?"
"Yours is ring-shaped, sweetheart," he explained, rubbing the tip of
his penis gently over the point in question. "It may have just stretched
rather than torn, that's all."
"Oh. Well, let's see what you can do with it!" And with that, Twink
swiftly and surely lowered her full weight down onto the Bandit's hips.
For a long minute, she just sat there, her body swaying back and forth
and her head thrown back as she gasped and panted at the feel of it. The
Bandit was in heaven, feeling the moist heat and clasping strength of her
untried young pussy even through the triply-accursed condom. Slowly he
began to buck his hips up and down on the mattress, pumping in and out
of her hole.
Twink matched his rhythm, stroke for stroke, levering her whole
body up onto her knees and slamming herself down on his rod with all of
her might. He reached up and grabbed her breasts, squeezing them and
rolling her huge nipples in his fingers as she bucked and tossed on him,
grunting and moaning.
Twink grabbed his hands and held them tightly to her breasts as she
screamed, "Oh! OH, GOD! I'M CUH, UH, UH, UH, AHHHHHH!" The
feel of her cunt contracting spasmodically about his penis was too much
for the Bandit to bear, and he grunted and heaved upward against her,
semen spurting from him in torrents. She collapsed atop him, sobbing, as
he relaxed back against the pillow with a groan.
"Oh, Bandit, I love you! I'll love you forever, you're my best friend in
the whole world, I missed you so, I'll make you so happy...."
"Shhhhh, sweetheart, it's okay, I love you. I never stopped loving
you. What you've given me is so special, I, I just wnat to hold you.
Shhhh, please don't cry...."
"C-can't help it, you kn-know that...it feels s-so GOOD...." She
hugged him fiercely and wept into his hair, her body shaking with the
aftershocks of her orgasm and her cunt spasmodically squeezing his
shrinking rod. "I felt you, I actually FELT you come in me! Even through
the rubber, I felt it, it was like molten FIRE, oh GOD, I LOVE you!"
"Shhhh...Shhhhhh...."
Outside, the setting sun slowly turned the air in the room to gold.
It was night, the sky dark and the room almost as dark. The prison
cell's become a love nest again, the Bandit thought with a weary
happiness. What did I do to deserve someone like Twink? Thank you,
God. I let her go once; I won't make the same mistake again, I promise.
"Mmmmm...Bandit, are you awake?"
He smiled at her languid, sleepy whisper in the dark.
"Yes," he said. "I'm glad to have you back, Twinkles."
"For a while, anyway," Twink said with a practical tone he'd never
heard her use before. "I still have the Paladin to go back to, and you'll
leave Arcadia in May and never come back. But for now, we have each
other. And that's okay, isn't it?"
He hugged her hard, feeling the agony of loss mixed with the weary
knowledge that she was right. It was that tiny, cold voice again, the one
that saw the future; he knew his promise was utterly empty. But I'll make
her happy anyway, he vowed. Even if she can't be mine, at least she can
be happy for a while....
"Yes," he said. "Yes, it is. More than okay."
"Hey!" Her questing, sleepy hand had found his limp, dry penis.
"Where'd the rubber go?"
"I took it off after you fell asleep and I pulled out of you, dear. It's
dangerous to leave it in; if you get soft; it can slip off."
"Oh." She giggled. "Things were sure a lot easier the first time!"
His entire body stiffened. Concerned, she looked up at him, and
could just make out the furious glare on his face.
"What's wrong?"
"Twink," he said carefully, "What did you do for birth control?"
"Oh, don't worry," Twink replied brightly. "Is that all? You had me
worried for a second there, looking all sour like that! No, he took care of
everything!"
"Be more specific," the Bandit said darkly.
"Well, I couldn't get pregnant if he pulled out in time, right?"
The Bandit's left hand, of its own accord, leaped off of his knee and
slapped his forehead so hard it left a red mark. "Aw, TWINK! JESUS
CHRIST!"
"What's the matter?" Her smile was gone now.
"Withdrawal isn't any good as a form of birth control!" His next
phrase, 'Anyone with any sense knows that' or something similar, got
pulled and dumped before reaching his mouth. Twink doesn't HAVE any
sense, idiot, he reminded himself angrily. Or any education, or any
experience.
More calmly, he explained, "A man secretes more than enough sperm
cells to impregnate a woman just by penetration. He doesn't have to have
an orgasm-- Hell, he doesn't have to be IN you to knock you up! Don't
you remember how I'd never come anywhere near your pubes when we
were going together? Only in your mouth or your hand or on your
tummy? Twink, I did it for a reason!"
Twink was looking shamefacedly down at the pillow. He gently
lifted her chin up so that she was looking him in the eye, and whispered,
"Don't be upset, you couldn't have known. And if HE'S from Bumfuck,
North Dakota, like you were, maybe he didn't know any better, either.
When's your period due?"
She bit her lip. "Not for a long time, now. I stopped bleeding right
before the Revel began."
"Good!" The Bandit sighed in relief. "You wouldn't have ovulated
yet, with any luck, so maybe you got away with it this once. But
PROMISE me something, Twink! Never, never make love with him again
if you don't have some kind of real birth control handy! If he's not
responsible enough to wear a condom, then YOU have to be protected,
with the Pill or a diaphragm or SOMETHING!" He shook his head. "And
you should probably make that snake in the grass wear a condom, anyway,
just so you don't catch anything."
"Bandit!" Twink looked outraged, or at least as outraged as she ever
could manage. "Don't you talk about him like that!"
"He nearly got you pregnant, Twink! What the hell would YOU call
him!" And I love you too much to tell you that I heartily doubt he's really
planning on marrying you just yet, kid, he added angrily to himself. One
shock at a time.
"Look," he said gently, "I'll meet him someday, and I'll get to know
him before I judge him. But you have to admit he hasn't made a very good
impression to start out with."
"I suppose not," she said unwillingly. Then, softly: "Bandit?"
"Uh-huh?"
"Will you come to our wedding?"
He hugged her as hard as he could. "Of course, kid. Of course."
PART 7: Making music, of various sorts
January 1983
The Bandit rolled over languidly in bed, yawning and stretching. He
scratched his balls idly, then winced at a sudden stab of pain. Ouch,
dammit, he thought wearily. Must've been sleeping on my stomach or
something. Feels like my balls went and took a hike for the exercise!
Beside him, Twink rolled over, kicking the blankets aside, and arched
her body back with a loud yawn. The Bandit idly watched her move,
luxuriating in the sight of her limber, gorgeous form. She saw him
looking at her, smiled, and with no effort at all bent her body so far back
that a quick bend of the knees was all it took to plant the soles of both feet
on the top of her head.
"That's incredible," the Bandit whispered. "How can you DO that?"
"Mmmmm, it's easy if you stay in shape," Twink said, relaxing. She
shuffled sideways a bit, and eased herself down onto the Bandit, her
breasts gently teasing the sparse hair around his nipples. "I love waking
up with your come leaking out of me, darling...."
"Hmmm," he smiled. "Sorry I couldn't oblige, last night."
"What do you mean, couldn't oblige?" Twink slid a hand down the
center of her back and between her rounded, smooth buttocks. It came out
wet and slick with clear fluid. She held it up to his nose, and he sniffed at
it experimentally, frowning. "It sure seems that way to me!"
"Huh." The Bandit scratched his stubbled chin. "But we didn't make
love last night!" His frown deepened. "Did we?"
"Mmmm, I think you fucked me while I was asleep," Twink giggled.
"I had the most delicious dreams." Her slick hand wrapped around his
half-hardened penis and began to pump up and down. He winced and
pulled her hand away.
"Ow! Yeah, yeah, all right, it sure feels like it." He shook his head.
"I just can't remember doing it, that's all. I sleep like a log, usually."
"Bandit," Twink giggled, nuzzling his cheek, "Are you trying to tell
me that you were fucking me in your sleep? I've heard of sleepwalking,
but never 'sleepfucking'!"
He laughed at the ludicrousness of the idea, but there was a note of
uncertainty in the laugh. What the hell was I dreaming about, he
wondered. It must've been the pizza again. When will I ever learn?
"Too fast, too fast!" The Sloth held up a hand and waved the others
to silence. "Turn the tempo down, Bandit!"
"But you just told me to turn it up!"
"Oh, SHIT!" The Sloth got up from his electric piano and began to
pace angrily. "Man, this is NOT going to work...."
"The music's gotta breathe," Zero said quietly. "Machines don't
breathe. That's the problem, right there."
"I know that, dammit!" The Sloth switched off the rhythm box and
sat back down at the keyboard stack. "We naturally follow one another,
but the machine just keeps on going its own merry way. No tempo
changes, no buildup of tension, no laying back on quiet stretches...."
"No attitude problems," the Bandit snapped at him. "No showing up
late for practice, no tuning up while we're trying to work, no lugging three
drum cases and a trap set up five flights of stairs, no threats to leave us
high and dry if we don't put up with infantile behavior!"
"All right, all RIGHT!" The Sloth yelled. "WE'VE BEEN OVER
THIS!"
"Take five to cool off, you two," Zero said, taking off his guitar.
"You're both getting too steamed to think, much less play."
The Bandit and the Sloth both glared at him. The Bandit suddenly
broke into a sheepish grin, and the Sloth shook his head, smiling. He got
up from the piano again, stretching, and stalked slowly out of the room,
saying, "I'm going to go get a drink of water. Be right back."
The Bandit watched him go, his huge bulk rolling gently from side to
side like a battleship in heavy seas. "He's got a lot going for him," he said
quietly. "I wish I had my act together as well as he does when I was a
freshman."
"Yeah, well, we've been saying we needed a keyboardist for a long
while now," Zero replied. "He's got good taste, good hands, and a pretty
fair setup." He looked coolly at the Bandit. "I think we were lucky to find
him."
"Oh, I agree," the Bandit nodded. "HE isn't the problem. The
problem is that little box over there...." He pointed at the rhythm machine.
"We just can't work with it. He's right, and I know he's right. And he
knows I know he's right. And I know he knows I know he's right."
"Yes, but does HE know that?" Zero grinned.
"Yep, I do," replied the Sloth, coming back into the room. He wiped
a forearm across his mouth, and said, "The water fountain's right outside.
If you guys want to talk about me behind my back, you should close the
door first."
The Bandit sighed. "Geez, you can't even compliment a guy without
getting into hot water!"
"Life's tough," Zero agreed. "Seriously, though, I think it's about
time we admitted we were in trouble. We've been trying to rehearse for
nearly two months now, and without a drummer things just aren't coming
together."
The Bandit looked belligerent for a few seconds, and then deflated,
sitting down on his stool and cradling his bass on his lap. "You're right,"
he groaned. "I know I'm gonna hate myself in the morning for admitting
it, but you guys are right. We need a drummer. But where the hell are we
gonna find one?"
"Good question," the Sloth answered without rancor. "I am but a
lowly freshman. Tell me, O Great Senior and Junior friends of mine,
where does one go to get drummers around here?"
Zero smiled without mirth. The Bandit looked grim.
"Wrong question, huh?"
"You know it, Sloth," the Bandit said humorlessly. "Drummers are a
rare commodity in Arcadia. Every band that tries to get off the ground
needs one, and the ones who are good enough to play generally have to fill
in on three or four different bands. They're in demand, so they get away
with murder. Man, I miss Livewire!"
"He's the guy that beat up the entire Security Squad last year, right?"
The Sloth looked a bit queasy. "WONDERFUL guy."
"He was, actually," Zero interjected mildly, cutting off the Bandit's
angry retort. "Enthusiastic, well-equipped, and all ours. Nobody else
could get decent results out of him, but with the Bandit in control he was a
real pistol."
"So we're back to Square One," the Sloth sighed. "We need a
drummer. We're screwed without one. And there are none to be had.
Now what?"
The Bandit got up and walked slowly to the door. "End of rehearsal,"
he said quietly. "I need to brainstorm."
February 1983
"So, I hear you guys are going to be doing some concerts eventually,"
Starch said casually, sipping his Coke to wash down the last bit of dessert.
"Eventually," The Sloth agreed. "Once we can find a drummer, that
is."
"A drummer? Ooh, bad news," Starch said, shaking his head
sympathetically. "Good luck. You guys are gonna need it."
"Thanks," Zero said quietly, dabbing at his chin with a napkin. The
lunchtime crowd in Scum Central was just beginning to thicken into the
critical mass that always seemed to center around twelve noon, with tables
filling up rapidly and knots of people collecting and breaking apart like
streams of bubbles in a swift river.
"I'd loan you Buckshot, but, well, he's booked solid," Starch grinned.
The Bandit scowled at that; Buckshot, widely considered the best
drummer in Arcadia, was a hot property, and Starch had him all to
himself. The first time they'd played together to see what each other could
do, Starch and Buckshot had gotten along famously, leaving the Bandit
out in the cold with the quiet kid with the fast hands and the big beak. He
made it a point not to complain, since he and Zero had been friends ever
since, but getting one's nose rubbed in one's troubles was a common risk in
talking with Starch, who seemed to thrive on other people's misfortunes.
"No, thanks," the Bandit said acidly, "I'd hate to pull the one good
musician you've got out of your greasy little hands, Starchy."
"Not the only one," Starch said smoothly. "Slats is easily as good a
bassist as you are, I'm not impressed by what I've heard this new kid of
yours play, and as for guitar, well, our new guitarist can work miracles!"
"Very fun--" The Bandit stopped dead. He looked at Starch
narrowly. "Work miracles?"
"Yep," Starch grinned. "Your loss is my gain, Bandit. The Rainbow
Wizard, the best damn rhythm stylist in this school and a dynamite voice!"
"You backstabbing shitpile," the Bandit hissed, standing up.
"Cool, Bandit," Zero said. "We don't need the Wiz, you know that."
"No, you don't," Starch said. "What you need is a drummer, and with
that pathetic sicko Livewire off in a padded cell somewhere--"
The Bandit took two swift steps to Starch's side.
"You touch me, you're expelled from Arcadia," Starch said casually,
not looking up as he picked his teeth with a fingernail. "School rules."
The Bandit just stood there, seething.
"You know your problem, Bandit?"
"Why don't you tell me, you fudgepacker?"
"Your problem," Starch drawled, leaning back in his chair and
looking boredly up at the fuming young man beside him, "is that you
know what you want, but you don't have the wherewithal to get it. You
scrape together a few puny victories, and stand on them like a turtle on a
rock, crowing about how great you are. Zero! This Sloth kid! Big
fucking deal! It took you two and a half years to assemble this lineup, and
you've got less than four months to make your mark before you're out of
here. Where are you going to get a drummer, huh? You don't even know
where to look!"
"When we had Livewire, we blew the doors off your crummy crew,"
Zero whispered tightly.
"Did you? He couldn't play half of what Buckshot can! And you
never had a keyboardist, even with Zero bonking the best pianist in
Arcadia, 'cause she wouldn't be caught dead in the same room as the
Bandit! Pitiful." He looked up at the Bandit, relishing each word. "You
are going to be in my shadow for the rest of your time here. Deal with it."
The Bandit just stood there, trembling with anger.
"You can't get what you need, much less what you want," Starch
continued gaily. "Not here, not anywhere. I get what I want, Bandit. I sat
through the Wiz's stupid speeches on miracles and healing power to get
myself a vocalist who could rival you, I set up Buckshot like a king to
have a rhythm section I could rely on, and I'm going to be playing shows
while you're still trying to find a drummer." He whirled in his chair
suddenly, cocking a finger behind him. "You see that girl over there?"
The Bandit followed his gaze to a nearby table, where a group of
freshmen were sitting and chatting, most of them girls. The young women
were all attractive, but one stood out: a wide-shouldered girl with a long
fall of silky brown hair, a cherubic round face, and what promised to be a
delectable body under a demure white blouse and long skirt. She chatted
and gesticulated vivaciously with the others, bursting with energy and life.
"What about her?" the Bandit whispered.
"She doesn't know I exist yet," Starch said mildly. "But I've scoped
her out. She's called Blitz, and she's going to be my girlfriend."
"Just like that," the Sloth sneered.
"Yup," Starch shrugged. He looked from the Bandit, to Zero, to the
Sloth. "I'm going to get up from this table. I'm going to leave you losers
behind. And I'm going to go over there and start talking to her. And she's
going to like me. A lot. I'm an upperclassman, with a band, and lots of
interesting things to talk about. I'll start simple. Ask her to a movie or
something. Then maybe a date at the Union, in the Clean Room or the
Burger Bar. And so on." He looked over at Zero, who was grinning from
ear to ear. "She won't have a chance."
"Nope," Zero agreed, his grin widening.
"Not a chance," the Sloth said with a placid smile.
Starch looked from one to the other, his smirk dissolving into a
frown. He turned around, and his eyes widened in disbelief.
Across the room, the other young ladies were whispering to one
another excitedly as the Bandit, wearing his best smile, pulled up a chair
beside Blitz and began chatting with her.
"Excuse me...."
"Yes?"
"Could I speak with you a moment, miss?"
"Certainly. What can I do for you?"
"Uh, nothing, actually. Other than look like you're enjoying my
company, that is. Do you mind?"
"Well, it sounds intriguing, that's for sure. What's going on?"
"There's a guy at a table behind you who thinks he's God's gift to
women, who's telling everyone how he's going to come over here and
sweep you off your feet. Any second now, he's going to turn around and
see us, and if you look like you're enjoying my company, I hope it'll teach
him a lesson about treating women as human beings rather than objects to
be traded like baseball cards."
"In other words, you want to be seen cutting in on his option."
"Ouch! I deserved that."
"You certainly did. I'm not used to being used as a bargaining chip in
somebody's game of 'Mine's-Longer-Than-Yours'."
"You're quite correct. I'm sorry. Shall I leave?"
"No, you may as well stick around and try to amuse me, seeing as
how you've driven off everyone else I was talking to...."
"I have? Oh, shit! Now I really AM sorry!"
"Meaning you weren't before?"
"Nope, I wasn't. But it seemed the thing to say at the time."
"Ah, so you're admitting you're as scummy as he is!"
"Of course. Worse, even."
"Then why come here and annoy me?"
"So he can't. Do I need another reason?"
"I suppose not. Do you do this sort of thing often?"
"Honestly, or would you prefer a believable lie?"
"You haven't managed a believable lie yet, so let's try the truth."
"O-kay. I've never done this sort of thing before."
"Ugh! Stick to the lies."
"Suit yourself. Er...'Once in a while, just to get his dander up.
I can't imagine why you're so miffed; all the other girls seem to love it!'"
"Better. I like the English accent."
"Suits me, does it?"
"No, but it's funnier than anything else you've said."
"Ah. Well. May I try another truth, at the risk of more ridicule?"
"You can certainly try."
"You are unquestionably the most witty and intelligent young woman
with whom I've spoken intimately in a very long time."
"Why, thank you, sir! How very kind."
"You believed me?"
"It's easier when you're paying me a compliment. Thank you."
"You're welcome. You realize, of course, that it's now your turn to
compliment me on something or another, however trifling."
"Must I?"
"It's only polite."
"Ah, well. I...I admire your candor."
"Thank you."
"And I think you're amazingly sexy."
"....I beg your pardon?"
"I said, I think you're amazingly sexy. You've been undressing me
with your eyes ever since you sat down here, and you're radiating so many
pheromones I'm about to come all over the inside of my skirt."
"Ah, now who's lying?"
"Well, actually the 'coming in the skirt' part WAS a bit of hyperbole,
but I really do think you're kinda cute. Can you open beer bottles with
those two front teeth?"
"Well....yes, actually."
"You're kidding!"
"No, really! I don't do it anymore, though; I'm afraid I'll break a
tooth."
"That would be too bad, wouldn't it? The dentist would have a
terrible time matching that particular shade...."
"Ouch again! You do enjoy bastinado, don't you?"
"Only with the right man. By the way, I'm Blitz."
"I'm the Bandit. Pleased to meet you."
March 1983
"What do you think?" The Bandit switched off the tape, and looked at
Zero and the Sloth carefully. They looked at one another silently, and the
Bandit chewed on his lower lip anxiously as he waited for their answer.
Finally, Zero nodded. "I honestly do like it."
"Me, too," the Sloth said. He grinned widely. "Lots. How'd you do
it?"
"It wasn't easy," the Bandit said with a relieved smile. "I created a
bunch of tape loops of drum parts from records, where the drums are all by
themselves, y'know? Then I played the loops over and over onto a final
master tape, and spliced everything together to make one big drum part
that we can play back." He patted the tape machine fondly. "With the
foot control, I can speed it up or slow it down to follow what we're doing,
and even fade it out for parts where we don't need drums!"
"How long did it take you?"
"Oh, God, I started on it the day we decided the machine wasn't going
to do it, I guess. It took me six weeks just to get the loops right!"
"Well, I hope you made a safety copy, because I'll be real upset if we
lose it!" The Sloth shook his head in amazement. "A drum tape! What a
concept! You didn't make that up yourself, did you?"
"Of course not," the Bandit grinned. "But that's what being a Bandit's
all about, right?" He dug into his pocket and pulled out two cassettes.
"Here are copies of the loops. You can practice with them, and write
down whatever changes you think they need. Then we can do some
serious rehearsing, in time for the Spring Fling. Wait'll Starch hears this!
He'll shit!"
"Great stuff, Bandit. Later!" Zero pocketed the tape and headed off
down the hall. The Sloth nodded assent as he shambled out of the room.
The Bandit was grinning like an idiot as he switched off the tape deck and
carefully packed the precious tape reel away. Never mess with the Bandit,
Starch, he thought gleefully.
He pulled on his jacket, locked his room behind him, and stepped
down the hall and out the front doors into the light, misting rain. It wasn't
the sort of rain that got you really soaked; even with the leisurely walk
across the campus, he was barely damp by the time he reached the
Western Habitat, a virtual mirror image of the Eastern Habitat where he
and his friends lived.
He showed his card to the door guard, was let inside, and strode up
the two flights of stairs and down the hall to the third door on the left. He
knocked softly.
"Who is it?"
"The Bandit."
"Oh, hi!" The door flew open, and Blitz welcomed her visitor with a
hug and kiss. "How'd it go?"
"Fantastic. They think we'll be able to use the loops with no trouble
at all. Am I a genius, or what?"
"Well, you picked me," Blitz laughed, pulling him down beside her
on the bed and kissing him soundly.
"True enough," he whispered, caressing her ribcage.
"I talked to Twink today," Blitz said without preamble.
"Oh!" He drew away from her, suddenly uncomfortable. "What
about?"
"About you, mostly." Blitz looked at him seriously. "She really
loves you a lot, Bandit. More than I do. More than I ever could,
probably."
"Yeah, well." The Bandit looked down at the floor. "She deserves
better than me. I hope this Paladin guy takes good care of her...."
"Apparently he does," she smiled. "She says she would've had a hard
time with the fact that we were seeing each other, if it weren't for how she
was dividing her time between you and the Paladin. I like her, Bandit;
she's not very sharp, but she's got a good heart, and people like that are
hard to come by. Since she and I both have friends in the DAS, we're
probably going to end up being pretty good friends, I think."
"Really?" The Bandit smiled widely. "That's wonderful! Dammit,
Blitz, I don't know why I didn't introduce the two of you earlier! You'd be
perfect for her; she needs to spend time with someone who doesn't let
herself be pushed around!"
"True," Blitz said. "Of course, you know damn well why you didn't
introduce us; one look at me with you and she'd have started bawling."
"You're probably right," the Bandit sighed.
"Not that meeting me without you around was any easier," Blitz said
with a wry look. "I had to hold a hanky over her nose and get her to
blow."
"Thanks," the Bandit muttered. "Just what I wanted to hear...."
"Oh, come on, Bandit!" Blitz hugged him hard. "It's okay. We've
come to an understanding. And that means I don't have to worry any
longer about doing something like this." And with that, she began to
stroke the crotch of the Bandit's pants gently. He kissed her fiercely and
rolled her over onto the bed, himself on top of her.
"I've waited long enough for you to kick these gentlemanly habits,
Bandit," Blitz whispered. "I've been masturbating for the past hour, and
my diaphragm is in. If you don't finally relax enough to give me a good
dicking and stop worrying about Twink, not only will I never forgive you,
but I don't think she will, either!"
"Say what?" The Bandit looked down at her in surprise.
"Her period's just started," Blitz grinned. "She's not in the mood for
anything beyond a cuddle, but she knows you're going to be horny as hell
tonight. So I promised I'd leave you too sore to bother her!"
"Great," the Bandit said, remembering his first night with Mary
Magdalene. Blitz chuckled and licked the inside of his ear gently,
nibbling on the earlobe as she unbuckled his pants and hauled out his
penis, which was stiffening rapidly.
"Oh, wow," she whispered into his ear, "It feels great!"
"Yes, it does," the Bandit agreed, one hand up her skirt and under her
soaked panties. He dipped a finger into her dripping cunt, then another
and another. She was spread, wet and slick, waiting.
"Oh! Uh! No foreplay," Blitz gasped. "Just stick it in, hurry!" She
hauled up her skirt to her waist, and tore off her panties frantically. Her
pussy, oozing wet and swollen pink, was raised up off the mattress at him.
The Bandit, confronted with a spread like that, didn't have to argue.
He climbed atop her, pushing his pants down around his ankles, and
carefully positioned his penis at the entry to her pussy. A few tentative
strokes of the swollen glans against her labia had her moaning eagerly.
"You son of a bitch, I said stick it IN!" Her legs came up off the bed,
wrapped tightly around his waist, and pulled him forward and down. His
penis caught in the folds of her pussy lips and bent over double.
"YAII!" He pushed back off of her, panting. "EASY, WOMAN!"
"Yes, I am an easy woman," she smiled up at him. "But not cheap."
She tried again, more gently this time, and he slid into her effortlessly.
"Mmmmmmm, oh, yeah! Fuck me, Bandit! Fuck me hard!"
"As you command, madam," he gasped, humping up and down
furiously. It's interesting how your dick can't tell the difference between
one pussy and another, he thought dimly. If we were in the dark, I
couldn't tell if I were fucking her or Twink or even Teenie. Weird.
The next few minutes passed without words. The only sounds in the
room were the squishing noises of flesh pistoning in and out of wet flesh,
the slap, slap, slap of his scrotum against her cunt, her groans and his.
"I'm...gonna...come soon," he gritted.
"Come, uh, come when you're ready," she responded in gasps.
"UNH! UNH! UNH!" He went rigid, feeling himself unload into her,
and slowly collapsed like a deflating balloon. Apt simile, he thought,
sinking down atop her with a sigh.
"That was well worth the wait," he whispered, kissing her ear.
"It was indeed," she replied softly. "Could you please pull out of me
so I can keep from ruining my clothes and blankets?"
"Hm? Uh, sure," he said, scrambling off of her clumsily. She
retrieved a wad of Kleenex from the box by her bed, cleaning herself off
with a few deft swipes. She stood up, straightening her skirt, and kissed
his shrinking penis as he started to pull up his pants. At the touch of her
lips, it flopped over to one side as if to wave goodbye.
"We'd better hurry if we want to make dinner," Blitz said matter-of-
factly, grabbing her coat. "Good thing this is your night off, or you'd
really be in trouble." She smiled brightly. "I told Twink to save us seats
at the dinner table tonight."
The Bandit smiled at her as he zipped up his pants. "Did you come?"
"No," she said, handing him his jacket, "But don't worry about it. I
loved feeling you within me, and it was wonderful all around. But I
almost never actually get all the way to an orgasm, so don't get all hung up
over it. Okay?"
He looked at her dubiously. "Okay." Suddenly he stopped, and
pointed at the sodden heap on the floor by the door. "Hey, your panties!"
"Don't need them," Blitz grinned wickedly. "You won't tell." She
glided out into the hall. "Coming, dearest?"
"Jeez," the Bandit muttered, closing the door behind him.
PART 8: This is how it ends
Early May 1983
The Bandit blinked, and suddenly it was May.
How the hell did this happen, he wondered idly to himself as he
crossed the wide lawn before the Student Union, listening to the chatter
and laughter of the May Day crowds, the last crazy dance before Reading
Period and finals began. One minute I'm a freshman, wet behind the ears
and pimply and terrified and excited and happy all at the same time, and
the next thing you know it's almost over!
The hot sun beat down upon his back and shoulders, turning his pale
skin brown at the edges of his tank top. His jeans were hot and
uncomfortable in the baking, humid air, but he still couldn't bring himself
to wear shorts. His sandals, already worn through, chafed his feet as he
stalked across the grass, looking idly from side to side at the revelers and
the booths selling trinkets for the passersby: T-shirts with pictures of Marx
and Einstein, beer mugs with the Arcadia seal on them, hand-carved
wooden sculptures....
I'm alone, the Bandit thought, suddenly tired for some reason. I have
friends everywhere, two women who love me, and yet I'm alone.
Something's not right here. He stepped up to a vendor standing over a
bucket of pint bottles in crushed ice, and dug in his pocket for a quarter.
Money changed hands for a Fresca, and he sipped at it idly as he found a
sunny spot on the grass that hadn't yet been trampled into soaking mud
and sat down heavily.
This was supposed to be the easiest time of my college career, he
mused. Both of my majors completed, Honor Roll, credit hours and senior
project up to par... I could flunk everything and still graduate. So why am
I so tired all of a sudden?
He belched loudly and grimaced. Because you're a workaholic, you
asshole, he answered himself sharply. You live for work, you'll die for it
someday, and you've immersed yourself in the hardest semester you've
ever had, just to keep busy while the dreaded specter of Post-College Life
creeps up on you....
It's better than thinking about other things, he pointed out.
True, he replied ruefully. True.
A pinwheel of color suddenly whirled across the corner of his vision.
He turned to look, and smiled despite himself; it was Flower, in a flowered
sundress, turning cartwheels on the lawn for a laughing Rainbow Wizard.
He saw a flash of bare, tanned legs and pink panties for the barest instant,
and his eyes narrowed speculatively. Well, there were a lot of things I
didn't get a chance to do before I left, he thought philosophically.
"Hey! Bandit?"
Speaking of which, he sighed, looking behind him.
Diva came strolling up to him, her pudgy legs tanning nicely in the
sun and her breasts swaying under her loose, sleeveless sweatshirt. She
was barefoot in the grass, and her face was made pleasant by an
uncharacteristic smile. He nodded to her, and was surprised to see her sit
down beside him.
"What can I do for you , Diva?"
"Oh, nothing," Diva smiled, tucking her mousy hair back under her
headband. "Zero wandered off, and I figured he'd gravitate this way
eventually. Have you seen him?"
"Not all day," the Bandit replied. "I haven't really seen much of
anybody all day, actually."
"No! Really? I thought you always had a crowd around you," she
teased.
"Humph," he glowered. Then he smiled, a thought occurring to him.
"I caught your Junior Recital last week," he said. "You were fantastic, as
usual. Nervous, maybe, but fantastic."
"Oh, well," she said, coloring slightly, "I was just upset about the way
the jury handled the scoring. It was too damn arbitrary for me." She
smiled again. "But Mama and Papa seemed to like it."
"They were in the audience? I didn't see them."
"Oh, they were there," Diva smiled. "They wouldn't have missed it
for the world. Why didn't we see you at the reception afterwards?"
Now it was the Bandit's turn to redden. "Oh, uh, well, I didn't think it
would've been appropriate for me to show up," he muttered.
"Not appropriate? Bandit, we've known each other for years!" She
seemed genuinely offended. "If not you, then who?"
"Oh, come on, Diva!" The Bandit's discomfort mingled with
defensiveness. "You can't tell me you would've wanted me hanging out at
your reception!"
"And why not?" She raised a haughty eyebrow. "Are you implying
that we think we're too good for you?"
"I never said that," he huffed. "It's just that, well, you and I haven't
always been on the best of terms, that's all. I didn't want to make you
uncomfortable."
"Well, that's very solicitous of you," she sniffed, "but this was hardly
a black-tie affair. I don't think anyone would have fainted if a few people
in blue jeans had shown up to express their congratulations...."
"A few--?" His eyes narrowed. "Diva, how many people showed
up?"
Her eyes were sad. "Maybe a couple of dozen, plus my parents."
"Oh, shit." He met her gaze squarely. "Diva, I'm sorry, it just
seemed that with all the suits and ties around I would've looked like a
fool...."
"Maybe you would have, if you'd come alone," Diva said hotly. "But
where was everybody else?"
"How the hell should I know? I wasn't about to herd them into the
recital hall at gunpoint! If you like Mozart and Ravel, okay. If not--" He
shrugged. "Your classical friends were all there, I'll bet."
"Most of them." She sighed. "It's not important."
The Bandit looked at her as she picked up a blade of grass and twirled
it between her fingers. What happened to the regal Diva, he wondered, the
haughty and proud mistress of the ivories? This is just a girl, fresh out of
her teens and lonely. Where was she these past years? Why didn't I see
her?
"Diva," he said uncertainly, "I know we've had our bad moments in
the past...." His voice trailed off. He suddenly realized that she was
looking at him carefully, her china-blue eyes wide.
Gamely he continued, "I just wanted to say that I, uh, I...."
"Hey, there you are! I've been looking all over for you!"
The Bandit turned around with a jerk, to see Zero standing behind
him, holding an awkwardly-shaped package wrapped in his hand and
smiling down at them. The Bandit stood up swiftly, as did Diva. She
smiled at Zero, a happier smile than the Bandit had seen in a long time.
"Just talking to your friend, here," she said with a laugh in her voice.
"Are you ready for lunch?"
"Yup. Starving!"
"Great, so'm I. Bandit? Join us?"
"Uh, no thanks," he said reflexively. "You two lovebirds go on
without me, I'll be along as soon as I can scare up Blitz or Twink."
"Suit yourself," Zero said mildly. Diva looked at the Bandit for a
long moment, then suddenly hugged him swiftly and hard.
"Thank you," she whispered in his ear.
And then she was gone, hand in hand with Zero on their way to Scum
Central. The Bandit stood there looking after them, savoring her scent and
the soft, pillowy breasts that had pressed against his chest for the barest
moment.
Suddenly he looked down at his feet, remembering. "Aw, shit," he
muttered to himself, more in defeat than anger, and picked up the spilled
bottle of Fresca from the grass.
Mid-May 1983
"Knock, knock!" The Bandit stuck his head in the doorway. "Hey,
Twink? Is anybody ho--"
His voice cut off abruptly. Twink was scrambling to her feet and
facing him, out of the embrace of a tall, handsome blonde guy in a linen
shirt and brown pants tied with a rope belt. "Hi, Bandit," she said,
blushing scarlet. "I wasn't expecting you."
"Apparently not," he replied mildly, burying his impulses (run away,
cry, scream, commit acts of unspeakable violence) beneath a shell of
instant calm. "Should I come back later?"
"Oh, no! We'll be gone later! I mean, I finished my last exam this
morning, and by tonight we'll be on the road back home!" She motioned
behind her to the tall young man, who was standing up and buttoning his
shirt casually. "I've wanted the two of you to meet each other for nearly a
year now," she continued nervously. "Paladin, this is the Bandit."
"Pleasure to meet you!" The Paladin flashed a perfect, winning
smile, and held out a hand. The Bandit took it, returning the smile
carefully.
"Pleased." He paused a moment, letting go of the hand. "You came
down here to pick her up?"
"Yeah," the Paladin nodded with an easy smile. "We'll load up my
truck with her things and hit the road for North Dakota by dinnertime. We
hope to be well on our way by nightfall...." He ducked his head, a sad
expression fleeting across his rugged face. "Sorry we won't have a chance
to get to know each other better...."
Yeah, I'll bet, thought the Bandit, as he spread his hands with a forced
smile. "These things happen," he said. "There'll be other times."
"Will there?" The Paladin looked puzzled. "I thought you were
graduating this year."
"I am," the Bandit replied calmly. "Why should that stop me from
seeing Twink every now and again?"
"Hm," was the thoughtful reply. "You're right. You're right. Sorry."
"No problem." You sleazebag.
"Bandit, we'd love for you to come to dinner with us before we
leave," Twink said brightly. "We could talk--"
"I'm afraid not," the Bandit interrupted her. "My last exam's tonight,
and I have to study. I came over to say my goodbyes." He turned to face
the Paladin squarely. "Will you excuse us for a minute?"
"Sure," the Paladin grinned. "Take your time. Should I step
outside?"
I'd love to ask you to step outside, you grinning gigolo. "No, thanks.
We'll step outside." He motioned to the door, and Twink stepped out into
the hallway. He followed her, shutting the door behind them.
"I'm sorry," Twink whispered urgently. "I didn't want to surprise you
like this...." He laid a finger on her lips, shushing her gently.
"It's okay," he said. "I knew this day would come. I want you to
have a safe trip home, and stay in touch with me. You have my address
and phone number?"
"Of course. I'll call or write when I get a chance, I promise. Bandit,
please don't be sad. I'm going to be happy at home, and I want you to be
happy, too!"
"I'll do my best," he said with a little smile. "Can I kiss you goodbye,
at least?"
"Just try to leave without it," she replied, her eyes shiny with tears.
He took her in his arms and reveled in the feel of her soft, yielding curves
one last time: her breasts, the flare of her ribs, her waist and hips, her
gentle touch on his lips....
He broke the kiss, sadly but firmly. "Goodbye, love."
"Goodbye...." Twink reluctantly pulled her arms down from around
his neck, half turned to open the door, then suddenly threw herself into the
Bandit's arms, hugging him so hard he thought he'd faint. "Oh, Bandit, I
love you so...."
He hugged her back, hard. "And I love you, Twink. Always will."
"I know...." She pulled away again, sniffling. "Excuse me, I gotta go
blow my nose...." She turned away and ran down the hall, pushing open
the door to the women's room and vanishing.
The Bandit watched her go, tears welling up in his eyes. He looked
back at the closed door, and something hot, suffocating and thick welled
up in his throat, threatening to choke him to death on the spot. He threw
the door open and glared at the Paladin, who'd looked up from reading one
of Twink's books in surprise.
"You take care of her, Paladin." His voice was an evil hiss.
The Paladin's eyebrows raised, and he smiled. "Oh, I plan to."
"Yeah, well try to do a better job than you did popping her cherry!"
"She told you about that?" The Paladin's smile vanished.
"You bet your ass she did. I don't care what she thinks of you,
Paladin; you're a snake in the grass, in my book. And God help you if I
find out you've hurt her...."
"Are you threatening me?"
"No." The Bandit's arm arced upward in a blur, and the Paladin heard
something whip past his ear and bury itself in the wooden bookcase beside
him. "I'm making a promise." And with that, the door slammed and the
Bandit was gone.
When Twink came in a few seconds later, the Paladin was still staring
at the knife, inches from his face. "Darling, what's wrong?"
He turned to her, his voice thick with disbelief and rage. "Your ex-
boyfriend just tried to kill me!"
Twink looked at the knife and smiled. "No he didn't," she said with a
self-assurance she'd never felt in quite the same way before. "At this
range, if he'd wanted to kill you, he would have." She strode over to the
bookcase and retrieved the knife with a tug. It was his favorite throwing
dagger, the black U.S. Air Force survival blade with the hammer butt. She
stood staring down at it, tears in her eyes.
"You want to go give it back to him?" The Paladin sneered.
"No, I'm keeping it," Twink said softly. "He left it for me, to
remember him by...." Her voice broke.
She stepped into the other part of her room, closing the door behind
her, and he heard rummaging sounds, followed by a nose being blown
violently and a couple of loud sniffs. The door opened, and Twink came
out, all smiles and with only the barest hint of red in her eyes to show that
she'd been crying. "Let's finish packing, sweetheart."
He smiled and gave her a comforting squeeze. "I know he meant a
lot to you," he said softly. "But you'll see him again...." He began to pack
books from the shelves into the crates she'd bought for the move. Twink
stepped past him, reaching for more books, and froze as her gaze
wandered outside her window.
A lonely figure was standing out in the rain, staring up at her. As she
watched, it waved something and carefully set it down at the base of a
nearby tree, almost invisible in the grey afternoon. With a final wave, it
turned and ran off into the rain.
It was the Bandit. He'd left behind the sheath for his knife.
Twink smiled and turned to her task with a will, humming Stravinsky
to herself. I'll pick it up on the way to dinner, she thought happily. That
guy. Trust him never to do anything halfway....
"What are you smiling at?" The Paladin grinned at her.
Twink leaned forward, kissing him soundly. "I am thinking," she
whispered, "Of the man I love more than anything else in the world."
"Mmmm," he said approvingly, dropping his armload of books and
wrapping his arms around her, bearing her down onto the bed.
Goodbye, Bandit, she thought as waves of pleasure swept over her
with his wandering hands. Be as happy as I will.
Please?
Late May 1983
"I can't help but think that this will be the last time we'll ever be
doing this," the Bandit said softly, his hand tracing the ripe curve of Blitz's
hip.
"Oh, don't get all drippy and sentimental on me, you jerk," Blitz
laughed, rolling over and pushing him onto his back. "You know damn
well that it won't be the last time! You're coming out to the shore to visit
me this summer, and we're going to fuck 'til we drop for two weeks! So
think of it as a temporary goodbye, and concentrate on making it a good
one, okay?"
He found himself smiling back at her. "Okay, I won't argue."
"Why the hell'd I ever have to fall in love with you, Bandit?" She
straddled his hips, gently caressing his hard, pulsing member. "It was so
much easier when it was all just lust, when you were fucking me to make
Starch mad and I was fucking you because my boyfriend wanted to sleep
three nights a week...." She slid forward a little bit and began to rub her
labia over the underside of his penis, wetting it with her juices and sighing
with the pleasurable ripples it sent up and down her nerves.
"Not for me, it wasn't," the Bandit said between sighs. "I can't just
fuck a woman because of a physical attraction...there has to be something
emotional there...."
"Why?" She stopped what she was doing and looked down at him,
hands indignantly on her hips. "Why?"
"Because if there isn't," he replied, reaching up to gently fondle her
breasts, "then we're no different from rutting animals."
"I have bad news for you, Bandit," she sighed as her wide, purplish-
pink nipples swelled and hardened under his expert fingers, "we ARE no
different from rutting animals. The emotional baggage is just
manufactured bullshit, and we ought to be able...ooohhhhh....purrrrrrrr...to
recognize it as such...."
"Okay, then," he said impishly, "answer your own question: why did
you have to fall in love with me?"
She grabbed his hands with hers, pulling them roughly away from her
breasts. "Because I know the difference between making love and being
in love, that's why! We made love for a long time, before I fell in love
with you!"
"Oh, really?" He began to move his hips slowly, rubbing his penis
against her labia. "I was in love with you from day one...."
"Then you're an idiot," she moaned, "because you didn't take the time
to really learn what was worth loving in me, you just tacked it on as you
went along, starting with the sex...mmmmm...."
"Maybe so," he admitted, returning to his nipple-play. "But we seem
to have ended up okay, anyway...."
"This time," she insisted, biting her lip to keep her thoughts in order.
"You got started with me the same way you got started with Twink, or
Teenie....you got into my pants, and then you decided you loved me.
What the hell's going to happen when you start to think with your brain
instead of your gonads, and make FRIENDS with a woman before you
sleep with her?"
The Bandit stopped what he was doing, thinking hard for a moment.
Then he grinned, that old Bandit grin. "I'll probably get married," he
laughed. "But for now, can we settle for a good, straightforward bye-bye
fuck?"
"Mmmmm, yes, you asshole," Blitz replied, reaching down and
seizing his length firmly. "That'll...have to...doooooOOOOOOOO...."
She lifted herself up slightly, stuffed the tip of his penis into her moist
crevice, and sat.
"Ahhhhh," the Bandit gasped as he felt her warm wetness engulf him.
"I'm gonna miss this...."
"So am I, you son of a bitch," she moaned, bucking up and down as
his hands tightened over her breasts. "Too damn much for my own
good...."
"MMmf, gonna come soon...."
"Come when you're ready...."
"Sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
"Positive?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
"Abso--mmph!--lutely?"
"COME IN ME, ALREADY! You're turning purple!"
"Okay--UNGH! UH! UH!" He heaved up to meet her and she sighed
and moaned as his hot, sticky juices filled her to overflowing. She slowly
settled onto him, a panting, sweating coverlet on his trembling chest.
The same whispered question: "Did you come?"
The same soft answer: "No. But you felt wonderful. Don't worry."
Sigh.
After a long, long while, she rolled off of him, his limp penis sliding
out of her with a wet plop, and reached for the roll of toilet paper he kept
by the bed to clean herself up. He followed suit, and kissed her breasts
one last time as she fastened her bra and put on her blouse. They dressed
quickly, and he held the door open for her as she left his room.
The walk across campus to her dorm was made in silence. As they
approached the front doors, she turned to him and gave him a quick hug.
"See you in July."
"I'm counting the days...."
"'Bye." A light kiss on his cheek, and she swiftly stepped through the
doors and vanished into a stairwell with a parting wave.
The Bandit waved back, then sighed, thrusting his hands into his
jacket pockets and turning for the short walk home. The beginnings of
another storm began to patter raindrops on the leaves as he hunched his
shoulders and hurried away into the night.
Memorial Day, 1983
"Hey, Bandit! Looking sharp!" Zero looked the Bandit over, as he
struck a dignified pose in his black gown and mortarboard. "Not bad, not
bad. But I would've preferred paisley."
"Gee, thanks." The Bandit gave him an affectionate squeeze. "It's
gonna be a tough road without you, bro'. I'm gonna miss you."
"That's how it works, kemosabe," Zero shrugged with a faint smile.
"But we haven't seen the last of each other yet. You and Diva are from the
same home town, right?"
"Well, sort of," the Bandit said. "You've been there! It's nearly an
hour's drive from her place to my folks' house. Are you going to visit her
family over breaks?"
"Probably not," Zero said with a grimace, "Seeing as how they don't
approve of me. But we'll both be in your shoes next May, and if the job
market's good I may decide to relocate! Sound good?"
"REALLY? Oh, YEAH!" The Bandit hugged Zero hard, his
mortarboard falling to the ground. "I can hardly wait!"
"Great," Zero laughed, handing him his mortarboard.
"What will you be doing this summer?"
"I'll be staying in Arcadia, actually," was the surprising reply. "I got
a good job offer, so I decided to try what you did last year."
"Hopefully with better results," the Bandit said with a wry face.
"Hopefully," Zero grinned quietly. "Well, they're lining up; good
luck, kemosabe." He gave the Bandit one last hug, and walked off.
The Bandit watched him walking down to where Conan and the
Rainbow Wizard were standing at the edge of the Commencement crowd,
a smile on his face. Zero living at home? YOW! The Dynamic Duo will
ride again!
"....Bandit?"
The timid voice made him turn sharply, his smile vanishing.
"What do you want?" His voice was cool.
Mary Magdalene ran her hands down the hem of her dress,
uncomfortable under his gaze. "I, I just wanted to say goodbye." She
looked up at him pleadingly, her dark eyes meeting his. "I couldn't let you
leave with things between us the way they are. I know we've hurt each
other terribly, but that's as much my fault as your own. I just put too much
of myself into you, too soon after the Rainbow Wizard. It wasn't all your
doing...."
He looked down at his feet, chafing in the unfamiliar dress shoes. "I
know," he said softly. "I understand."
"I'm leaving Arcadia," she said softly.
He looked up at her, his eyes wide. "You're WHAT?"
"I'm leaving Arcadia." Her voice was firm. "There are too many
memories for me here, and not enough real opportunities. I'm going to
New England, where my brother lives with his wife. They'll let me stay
with them and help take care of their baby while I look for work in a
recording studio or something." She smiled, the million-candlepower
MaryMag smile that could take the paint off a rocket booster. "I used to
dream dreams that were my own, not someone else's. I'm going to try to
get them back."
"I'm glad," the Bandit said. "At least you learned that much...."
"I learned a lot from you, Bandit," she said. "I wouldn't have traded
our time together for anything. I...I thought you should know that." She
looked at him uncertainly.
He smiled. "I know. And I want you to know that I feel the same."
He blinked at her in the bright sun, and his smile turned shy. "Can I kiss
you goodbye?"
She nodded, laughing aloud. "Same old Bandit! C'mere."
"Mmmmmm," he said, relishing her wonderful mouth once more.
"Mmmm," she replied, squeezing him gently. Then the kiss was
broken, and she waved a little wave with her fingers as she turned away
and ran to join the crowd. He waved after her, licking his lips for the last
of her taste.
From the edge of the crowd, Conan saw the kiss, and shook his head
in exasperation. "Geez," he muttered, "How does he DO it?"
"He has the touch," Zero said softly, watching Mary Magdalene as
she approached them with a smile. "He just...has the touch."
The Bandit looked down the hill at the tiny knot of people that were
his last friends in Arcadia. He waved, a goodbye that held the promise of
fun and good times in the shadowy years that lay beyond college, and ran
to join the line of gowns and mortarboards that was slowly beginning to
move ahead. The familiar strains of "Pomp and Circumstance" filled the
open courtyard as the Class of 1983, the Bandit in their midst, stepped
forward to receive their diplomas and take on the world.
EPILOGUE: What was that old saying about going home again?
Mid-January 1984
"It was a dark and stormy night...."
Twink winced and put the book down. Gee whiz, she thought
blankly, I'd never have dreamed that anyone would literally use that to
start off a book! It's appropriate, though, she added to herself as she
looked out the window at the pouring rain. The chill of January had lifted
just enough to turn a blizzard of snow into sheets of thick, chilling rain
that soaked to the bone and leached away all warmth. It had been a perfect
day to stay inside, she thought, and tomorrow would be soon enough to go
out and face the world....
She looked at the clock. Nearly midnight. Soon the security gates
would come down, and the building would be buttoned up safely for the
night. She sighed, set the book on the table by her bed, and began to
undress. She was down to bra and panties when she was startled by a
timid knock at the door.
Twink looked up at the door, dropping her blouse on the floor in her
sudden shock. She quickly walked to the closet and drew out her
bathrobe, tying it around herself as she cautiously called, "Who is it?"
"Twink?"
Twink's eyes went wide. That voice....
"B--Bandit?" Her voice was a choked whisper.
"Open the door? Please?" The voice was very soft, almost weak.
Twink was at the door in two steps, throwing it open wide. The
Bandit was standing before her, shivering miserably in a snow parka and
jeans that were dripping with rain. His hair was matted down over his
forehead, and his eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with dark circles, as if
he hadn't slept in a long time. He smiled, a feeble shadow of the famous
Bandit grin. "H--Hi."
Twink just stared at him for a bare second, then threw her arms
around him and hugged him to her fiercely. "Oh, BANDIT!"
"No! No, don't, I'm soaking wet, I'm freezing," the Bandit said
quickly, pulling her away from him. "You'll catch cold--" He sneezed
violently.
"Sounds like you already have," Twink said with a worried look,
pulling him into her room and shutting the door. She began to remove his
parka. "Get out of those wet things before you freeze. I'll pop them in the
dryer while you go down the hall and take a nice, long shower to warm up.
There's some soap, shampoo and a towel in the top drawer." She stripped
off his wet clothes, layer by layer: he was soaked clear through, his skin
wrinkled and icy to the touch. Even his penis seemed shrunken and
miserable, huddled against itself in the chill. Twink, all business, didn't
even touch it. She handed the Bandit her room key, and said, "I expect
you to be in the shower when I get back. Okay?"
"Ok--kay," he said through chattering teeth as she shut the door on
her way out. He pulled open the drawer and retrieved the necessary items,
his fingers numb and trembling, and tiptoed down the hall to the
bathroom. It was deserted, he noted quickly as he poked his head in the
door. Quickly he stepped inside and into one of the shower stalls,
throwing on the hot water full blast. He stepped into the shower, wincing,
and just stood under the steaming spray, his eyes closed. Five minutes
passed, then another five. His trembling gradually stopped. He stretched
luxuriantly under the water, then turned it down to a more reasonable
temperature and began to soap his hair.
"Bandit? Are you in there?"
He smiled at the sound of Twink's voice, echoing eerily in the tiled
room. "Yeah, it's me," he said, his voice much more assured than it had
been a few minutes before.
"Oh, good," Twink said, drawing aside the shower curtain and
stepping in beside him. She was as naked as he was, and was smiling in
expectation of his reaction. She stopped. He was facing away from her,
into the spray, and was rinsing off his face and head. "Are you going to
join me?" His burbling call was too loud for one who knew she was in
there with him.
Twink's smile turned playful. "Sure," she whispered as she slipped
her arms around his waist and began to fondle his penis, which was
already nearly hard. The Bandit jumped at her touch, then relaxed against
her as her hand wrapped around his shaft and began to rhythmically
squeeze it and stroke it up and down. He reached behind him, holding out
the soap.
"Here," he laughed. "As long as you're in here, make yourself
useful."
Twink took the soap and began to lather the Bandit's body gently.
His shoulders, his back, his sides and under his arms, then his hips, his
buttocks, and around to his penis and testicles and up his stomach and
chest. He leaned back against her and sighed as she worked, saying, "That
feels heavenly...."
"Your turn," Twink replied, gently turning him around and handing
him the soap. She stepped into his arms and kissed him gently as he
soaped the broad curves of her back and shoulders, down to her buttocks
and hips. He broke the kiss and turned her around, leaning her forward
against the wall of the shower stall as he reached around her to soap and
rub her belly and full, hanging breasts.
Twink gasped as she felt his hardness in the cleft between her cheeks.
"Bandit, be careful! I'm not protected!"
"Good point," the Bandit sighed, turning her so the spray could rinse
her clean. He grinned at her as she rinsed her long blonde tresses in the
spray, adding, "We're probably about to run out of hot water, anyway. I
can fuck you in the shower some other time."
A few minutes later they were back in Twink's room, wrapped in dry
towels and sipping hot chocolate on her bed. The hollows under the
Bandit's eyes were still there, but he looked 100% better, Twink decided
happily. Now that I know he'll be okay....
"What are you doing here, Bandit?"
The Bandit looked sheepish. "I was coming to visit you and
everyone else at Arcadia for a few days. I thought I would be here during
the early evening, so I could talk to everybody and make arrangements for
where to stay, but I had car trouble about twenty miles south of Arcadia
and had to get a tow the rest of the way. My car's in the shop until
Monday at the earliest. I didn't get on campus until after eleven, and I
didn't know where else to try, so I came here. Would you like me to call
Zero and ask for some floor space?"
"Don't be silly," Twink smiled. "You're with me for the duration."
The Bandit actually looked relieved. "Thanks," he said with a more
confident grin than she'd seen from him yet. "That's good to know...."
"Why wouldn't you stay here?"
He shrugged. "What if the Paladin were visiting?"
"Oh." Twink rested her chin on her hand thoughtfully. "I hadn't
thought of that. It would be kind of awkward, wouldn't it?" She smiled
suddenly and added, "Well, that's not important. We saw each other over
Winter Break, and we'll see each other again in March. But for now,
Guinevere's probably keeping him warm on those cold North Dakota
nights, and now I have you to keep ME warm." She leaned forward and
kissed his lips gently.
"You're trembling," she smiled, pulling away slightly.
"I always tremble when I'm near you," he whispered. He set his cup
of chocolate down on the table and took hers from her hand, setting it
aside as well. He reached out for her, twining his fingers in her damp hair
and kissing her hungrily as he fell forward onto her, pushing her down on
her back.
"Wait, wait," she protested around his lips. "Please."
"What's the matter?" He drew back from her, suddenly concerned.
"I want to show you something I learned how to do this summer,
back home," she said with a little giggle. She gently pushed him off of
her, her towel falling away as she did so. She lay back on the pillow,
golden and naked, and spread her legs apart for him, her perfect labia
glistening with the last few drops of water from the shower. Smiling up at
him, she reached into the drawer in the bed table and drew out a metal tube
and a small plastic package, which she opened to remove a small cup-
shaped object of pink plastic.
The Bandit's eyes narrowed with interest. "What is that? It's too
small to be a diaphragm...."
"It's a cervical cap," Twink said, licking her lips in concentration as
she carefully applied a thin bead of clear fluid from the tube into the cup,
coating it evenly. "My gynecologist said I wasn't built properly for a
diaphragm to work well, and that a cap would be safer. Here, watch this."
She reached down and spread her labia apart, exposing the red inner folds
of her vagina, and deftly slipped the cap into her. "Oooh, it's always cold
at first," she laughed, tucking it into place with two ladylike fingers.
Wiping her hands on her towel, she said, "Now we have to wait a few
minutes...."
"No problem," the Bandit replied with an evil grin. He suddenly
knelt down before her and buried his face in her groin, his tongue finding
her clitoris almost instantly. Twink's eyes flew wide open, then as swiftly
squeezed tightly shut, as she arched her back and began to grind her hips
into his face. Her pussy was moist and dripping with fluids, and the
Bandit slurped and sucked away merrily as he felt her start to come, and
come, and come....
He pulled away from her, licking his lips. "Want more?"
"Uh, mmmm, don't stop, Bandit, please! I'm coming, lots of little
ones, oh God, please don't stop!"
"All righty." He returned to his task, his tongue flicking over her clit
as it swelled and swelled and her moans grew louder and louder.
"Twink?"
"Mmmm--yeah?"
"Have I waited long (slurp) enough?"
"Hmmm? OH! Uh, yeah, I think so, climb on top of me, hurry!"
He didn't need any further encouragement. He kissed his way up her
belly and past her breasts, wiping his face on her skin as he went, and
kissed her hard as he lowered himself between her legs. The taste of her
juices on his lips seemed to excite her more than ever, and she frantically
reached down and grasped him, pulling his length to the opening of her
cunt.
"Fuck me, oh, hurry, FUCK ME!"
"Yes, ma'am." The Bandit slid into her easily, and she gasped as he
set up a steady, pounding rhythm. She was wound up as taut as a bridge
cable, and he'd been holding back for this moment, so it only took a
minute or two of hard stroking before she gasped and cried out with
another orgasm as he emptied himself into her with a long-drawn sigh of
relief. He collapsed on top of her, exhausted, as her fumbling fingers
found and pressed the light switch.
"I'm glad to be back...."
"Welcome home, love. Sleep well."
The morning sun streamed into the room, bathing furniture and naked
bodies alike in soft warmth. There was no trace of last night's storm, and
the sky was friendly and blue over the Bandit and Twink as they lay
intertwined in bed, whispering to one another in the glow that settles after
a good night's sleep and a waking to gentle, teasing loveplay and mutual
orgasm.
"I missed you so...." There were tears in Twink's eyes.
"I missed you, too," the Bandit smiled, hugging her tightly. "You're a
big part of the reason why I came to visit. I wanted to see how you were,
make sure you were doing okay. Am I being too protective of you?"
"Yes," she said simply, "but I don't mind. It's a way of telling me you
love me, and I'll never turn that aside." She smiled and shut her eyes as his
fingers gently traced the outline of a broad, swollen nipple. "Mmmmm!"
"Has your pussy been lonely without me?" He bent down to kiss the
nipple gently, rolling it across his tongue.
"Not really," she sighed, holding his head to her breast.
"No?" He mumbled around his mouthful. "I'm jealous. You can
really last that long between bouts with the Paladin?"
"Well, no," she said uncertainly. "That's not what I meant."
He stopped. Slowly he pulled away and looked up at her. "You're
seeing somebody else?"
"Only once or twice," she said softly. Her eyes were full of pain, a
reflection of the pain she saw in his eyes. "They were just scattered
incidents....at the time, they seemed the right thing to do....please don't
hate me for it...."
"Oh, Twink, I don't hate you!" The Bandit hugged her hard, her head
cradled on his shoulder. He sighed. "Were you at least careful?"
"Oh, yes! I always used my cap, and I trusted them not to have
anything catching."
"Anyone I know?"
"Well...yes, actually." Something in her voice made him pull away
and look her in the eye.
"Like who?"
"....Zero."
The Bandit's eyes popped. "You slept with my BEST FRIEND?"
She returned his accusing gaze coolly. "I slept with Zero," she said
with as much dignity as she could manage with tears pouring down her
face. "I can assure you that the fact that he was your best friend never
entered into things. In fact, I didn't think about you very much at all
during the whole incident."
"I'm not surprised," the Bandit muttered. "So, what did you think of
his, what the hell's he call it, 'Jimi'?"
"It was incredible," she said softly, her eyes shining with the
memory. "We went for hours and hours. Once the bleeding stopped, it
was like nothing I'd ever felt before!"
"Once the--" The Bandit frowned, remembering. "Oh. Your hymen."
"Yup." She smiled, brushing his hair back from his eyes. "You and
the Paladin only stretched it out. But he tore it wide open on the first
push. I screamed bloody murder, he thought he'd killed me. But after the
pain went away, he was--" She stopped. "Please don't hate HIM for it,
Bandit. It was my idea. I was so lonely, and so was he...it just, well, it
just happened."
"Wait a minute! HE was lonely? With a hose monster like Diva
sucking him dry every night? What the hell happened?"
"Oh, my God, you didn't know!" Her hand flew to her mouth.
"Know what?"
"They broke up in September, just after she came back to school."
"Whoa, hold it a second. ZERO and DIVA--"
"Broke up." She nodded.
"Lord God Almighty! I turn my back for ten seconds and the
Universe starts unraveling!" The Bandit fell back on the pillows, one hand
over his face. "How the hell did THAT happen?"
"Well, she came back and found out he'd been sleeping with Mary
Magdalene over the summer, and--" Twink stopped short as he looked
aghast at her. "Oh. You didn't know about that, either."
"No. I didn't." He fell back again, staring at the ceiling. What the
hell happened, he wondered. My best friend's dinked every girl I ever
loved in this school. Except Teenie, and she doesn't count. Why me?
"Bandit? Are you okay? You look pale."
"Uh, I'm fine. Let's just say it takes a little getting used to."
She remained unconvinced. "I think I hit you with too much, too
soon."
"No, I'm all right. If he didn't hurt you, then I have no animosity
toward him. He's still my best friend." Even if he HAS been sticking that
mutant monstrosity into every pussy I love....Christ!
He sighed and looked at her. "Anyone else?"
"Well...." She looked uncertain. "Did I tell you about Mary
Magdalene?"
"Yeah, you just said--" He stopped, his mouth suddenly going dry.
"Wait a minute," he croaked. "About Mary Magdalene and...who?"
"Me," she said, her eyes downcast.
A vision exploded in the Bandit's skull, full technicolor with Dolby
stereo: Twink sinking back onto her back on this very bed, her smooth
body open and inviting, her arms outstretched and a smile of pure ecstasy
on her face as Mary Magdalene's breasts dangled over hers and she leaned
down and--
"Um, no," he said, shivering slightly. "You hadn't mentioned that."
"We did it acouple of times," Twink said softly, "When the world
was being tough on one or the other of us... After the time with Zero--"
"WHAT?" The vision was back, but this time there was a new
element: Mary Magdalene kneeling on Zero's hips and pumping up and
down on his huge shaft, Twink sitting on his face with his huge nose
probing her pussy, the two women he loved more than anyone smiling at
one another, leaning forward and kissing, oh, God, KISSING EACH
OTHER--
"How--how was it?" His voice was a terrified croak.
Twink thought a moment, and then shrugged. "Crowded," she said.
The Bandit's eyebrow raised. "Crowded?"
"Yeah," she nodded. "Crowded."
The Bandit began to laugh. He laughed, and laughed, and laughed
until he was crying, and Twink was holding him against her breast and
laughing and crying with him. "I love you," she said between sobs.
"Nobody can open my heart, no matter what the rest of my body tells me.
Nobody but you, and the man I'm marrying. Did I ever tell you why I
wanted to stay a virgin?"
"No," he whispered into her hair.
"I had to," she whispered. "I had to keep something of myself back
from you. I knew, I, I just knew th-that if I let you take me that way you'd
take all of me, a-and I'd be lost forever....I LOVED you too m-MUCH...."
"Aw, Twink!" Zero, Mary Magdalene, Diva were forgotten in
moments. "Never love someone that much! Never, NEVER love
someone that much! It's bad, it hurts you, promise me you won't, promise
me!"
"I love you, Bandit...." She kissed him, tears running down his neck.
"I know we could never make it work, I know that, but I...."
"Shhhhh....shhhhhhh...." He held her closely, rocking her against him.
For a long time, the room was silent.
"Hi, gang!"
Eight heads turned sharply at the familiar greeting, long gone unheard
in the East Habitat Main Lounge. Eight pairs of eyes could only stare in
shock as the Bandit calmly sat down in a free chair and smiled around
him.
"No, it's not a mirage," he chuckled. "How is everyone?"
At that, the Lounge erupted into life. The Bandit found himself being
bodily lifted up off the ground and crushed half to death by Conan.
"BANDIT!"
"I'm--whoof!--glad to see you too, big guy!"
"When'd you get here?"
"Last night. Put me down!"
Bone and Thud shook hands with the Bandit, grinning widely.
"Yo, Bone! Hi, Thud. Made any decisions, yet?"
"Actually, I may be ordained, AND become gay," Thud said
pleasantly. "In this day and age, the two aren't always mutually
exclusive."
"What the heck," the Bandit said, shaking his head. "Hi, Diva. Can I
hug you without getting kicked in the groin?"
"Of course, Bandit! What a question!" She smiled and hugged him
tightly, kissing him on the cheek. Suddenly he felt her tongue flick his
earlobe gently, and heard a tiny whisper. "You and me, later."
The Bandit wasn't as unprepared for this as he might've been. His
face betrayed nothing as he let go of Diva and shook hands warmly with
the Rainbow Wizard, and gave Flower a polite kiss on the cheek. "Good
to see you again, Wiz. Still in remission, I hope?"
"I had an incident over the summer," the Rainbow Wizard replied.
"The doctors tried out some new medication, and it didn't sit well with me.
But I'm okay now." He smiled beatifically. "Life beyond Arcadia seems
to have treated you well, Bandit."
"I can't complain," the Bandit grinned. "How's it going, Lanky?"
"Real well. Graduation bound, like everyone else!" Lanky's hair was
now nearly to his waist, and he brushed it back from his face and smiled at
the Bandit, who was shaking hands with Plaids.
"Howdy, Plaid Thang! Still the master of playing with the organ?"
Plaids blushed furiously amidst the ripple of laughter. "Actually,
yes," he said quietly. "I've nailed a position as a church organist back
home once I graduate. The pay isn't great, but it's a start...."
"That's fantastic news!" He smiled around him at the friendly faces,
his eyes bright. "Damn, it's good to be back!" He looked around.
"Anyone know where Zero and the Sloth are?"
He didn't miss the sudden frown on Diva's face. "They're in the
Recital Hall over at the Music School," the Rainbow Wizard said with a
smile. "They're scheduled to do a concert this afternoon and play the
Clean Room tonight, and they've been having a terrible time getting set up.
It seems they've overstretched themselves in their attempts to outdo Starch
and myself."
The Bandit's eyes narrowed at the Wiz's too-superior tone. "Oh,
really?" he drawled. "Well, I think I'll just mosey on over there and see
what's what." He turned and headed for the door. "Later, gang."
"Was that necessary?" Diva demanded angrily.
"It seemed so at the time," the Rainbow Wizard said mildly.
"Shit, shit, SHIT!" The Sloth stopped the tape recorder angrily, and
began threading the tape back onto the reels from its tangled heap on the
ground. "I can't learn to do this in three hours! We're sunk!"
"No, you're not," came a strange voice from the other end of the
room. The Sloth and Zero, both covered in patchcords and cable, looked
up in surprise, and both smiled widely as the Bandit strolled down the
aisle to the stage. He bounded up to meet them, gave Zero a hard hug,
then followed suit with the Sloth. "I hear you guys need an extra pair of
hands...."
"What are you doing here, Bandit?" Zero asked curiously.
"Later on, I'll be reminiscing with you two over a beer or three," the
Bandit replied crisply. "But for now, I'm helping you out of a jam. What's
up, and is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," said the Sloth.
"YES," Zero said firmly. He glared at the Sloth, and continued,
"That taped-drum dingus you designed isn't working very well. Neither
the Sloth nor I can get it to run as cleanly as you used to. We could use
your touch."
His eyes carefully on the Sloth, who was looking away from him and
scowling, the Bandit said, "If the taped drums weren't working, why are
you even attempting to use them? They were my idea. Why weren't you
guys doing something more suited to just the two of you?"
"We are," the Sloth said, not turning around. "But not now."
Zero explained, "Remember that concert we gave at the Music School
right before Commencement last year? Well, the new Chancellor heard
about it soon after he was inaugurated, and expressed a lot of interest,
since none of us are Music School students and we generated more press
than anyone in the School last year. So he asked us to give a repeat
performance of the set for him and some visiting bigshots, and anyone else
who wanted to come." He waved his arms about him at the tangle of
disorganized synthesizers, mixing gear, and tape machines. "And here we
are."
"Why didn't you call me?"
"No time," Zero said. "Besides, the Sloth wanted us to try it
ourselves, to see if we could do it without you." He looked over at the
Sloth, who had folded his arms angrily and was still looking away from
them.
"That's stupid!" The Bandit exploded. "You know how much
acrobatics is involved in setting everything up! It's a miracle the three of
us could pull it off--with two, it'll be impossible!"
The Sloth whirled to face him. "I'm just pissed off that you think you
can come waltzing in here and wave your magic wand and make
everything all right again, just like that! We're doing all right for
ourselves without you, Bandit! We've got a new band, we've got a new
bassist, a new drummer, a new singer-- we didn't curl up and die after you
left! And I RESENT like HELL the implication that we did, and that
we're helpless without you!"
"I NEVER IMPLIED THAT!" The Bandit was barely half the Sloth's
size, but when he got angry there was no louder voice in Arcadia. "But
this is a trio for synthesis and stringed instruments! You can't do it with
two people any more than you can do a string quartet properly with no
violin!"
More calmly, he continued, "You're not proving anything by
accepting the Chancellor's request, other than that you were too proud to
realize what a mistake you were making. I didn't come back here to save
your bacon, I came back here to visit my so-called FRIENDS!" He glared
fiercely at the two of them. "I wouldn't have even known about it if the
Rainbow Wizard hadn't gloated to me that you two IDIOTS were about to
fall flat on your FACES!"
"Bandit, we--"
"SHUT UP!" The Bandit's eyes burned. "I helped compose this
piece. I designed the setup for this piece. I played one third of the parts
on this piece! And you have NO RIGHT to perform it without me, or
without my knowledge and my permission! I've got half a mind to sit in
the audience, right next to Starch and his gang of baby scarers, and laugh
at you while you make fools of yourselves in front of the Chancellor!" He
took a deep breath. "You've got a choice. Either work with me or don't.
But if you don't, make damn sure you stand up and tell the audience that
you're two people trying to do three people's work, or I'LL stand up and
tell them MYSELF, because I don't want MY good name mangled because
of YOUR stupid pride. And if you do, make damn sure you tell everyone
that this is the last time you'll do this stuff, because the next time I won't
be here."
There was a long silence. Then the Sloth turned to the Bandit, and
sighed. "All right, mea culpa," he said. "Maybe I DID have something to
prove. To you, to Starch...to me. But I don't have to like getting bailed
out like this!"
"Who says you're getting bailed out?" The Bandit smiled softly. "I
haven't rehearsed this piece in eight months. If we get it to work it'll be a
miracle! But if you guys'll have me, we'll give it a go, all right?"
"...All right," the Sloth nodded reluctantly.
"All right," Zero said with his old smile.
"Well, good! And next time, do your OWN stuff, okay? I'm looking
forward to hearing your new band tonight in the Clean Room, and I don't
want to hear nothing but rehashes of the old tunes we did with Livewire!"
"Point taken," the Sloth said. "Now help me with this stupid tape."
The audience let out a sigh of released breath as the last note of the
song faded away into silence. There was a polite patter of applause that
soon swelled into a strong ovation as the Chancellor stood up, followed by
everyone else in the small Recital Hall. Twink's eyes were bright as the
Bandit, sweating and shaky with exhaustion, set down the bass he'd been
loaned for the day and stepped to the front of the stage to take his bows
with the Sloth and Zero. He waved to Mary Magdalene, who was sitting
in the back row and applauding furiously. "There will be no encore," he
said into the microphone. "And this is the last time our trio will perform
this piece. Thank you all for attending. Good afternoon." He bowed
again, and left the stage with Zero and the Sloth behind him.
Outside the stage door, in the deserted hallway of the Music Building,
the Sloth opened a storage locker and hauled out his post-concert kit: three
towels and three quarts of Gatorade, which Zero and the Bandit accepted
gratefully. They were swigging it down and wiping their sweaty faces
when the Chancellor came around the corner, all smiles.
"A marvelous concert, gentlemen! I was most impressed, and so, I
believe, were the Electronic Music faculty." He chuckled. "They left in
quite a hurry. I daresay they're going to change the locks on the studio
doors, to prevent other usurpers from teaching themselves electronic music
after hours!"
"I was an Electronic Music Student for a while, sir," the Sloth said,
shaking the Chancellor's hand. "I kept working my tail off and getting C's
on my projects. Finally, for my last project, I just gave up and handed in a
bunch of spliced-together tape scraps I fished out of the garbage." He
paused for effect. "I got an A."
The Chancellor roared with laughter. "Typical academic mindset,"
he said with a smile. "We need more students like you to keep our
professors in line." He turned to Zero, ignoring the rapidly-growing line
of well-wishers behind him. "A marvelous job, young man. And you're
not a guitar student?"
"No, sir," Zero said. "Self-taught."
"My." He shook his head. "I can not believe it. Well, keep it up;
you're doing famously." Then he turned to the Bandit. "You, young man,
are familiar from somewhere...."
"We met at an alumni function this past fall," the Bandit replied
easily. "You were out stumping for funds, and we chatted a bit. I
graduated last year; the piece was first performed right before my
Commencement."
"Oh, now I remember you." The Chancellor frowned slightly.
"You're the young man who told me I was doing for Arcadia what Reagan
is doing for the United States." Zero's eyes widened at that. So did the
Sloth's.
The Bandit just smiled. "I'm flattered that you remember me."
"Well," the Chancellor said with forced cheer, "Are you still of that
opinion, now that you've seen my plans for the campus?"
"Nice new entertainment complex you're building on the Western
Habitat," the Bandit said mildly. "And the new Biophysics building on the
North Campus is an exciting development, as is the remodeling of the
Astronomy building and the new landscaping." His eyes narrowed. "But I
have one question: with all this money you're sinking into pretty new
architecture, what happened to the College's guarantee of financial support
to all students regardless of need?"
The Chancellor's smile froze on his face. "Good question," he said
politely. "Can we make an appointment to chat while you're in town?"
"I'll call your secretary," the Bandit said with a nod.
"I'm looking forward to it," the Chancellor said, shaking the Bandit's
hand. "Wonderful work, all of you. Good day." He strode off, looking at
his watch.
The Sloth looked at the Bandit. "Did you really say that?"
"Yep." The Bandit grinned at him. "Having one's diploma gives one,
shall we say, a certain sense of freedom."
They spent the next few minutes shaking hands down the line of
people, the Bandit getting an enthusiastic hug and kiss from Mary
Magdalene toward the end. He noted her repetition of the hug and kiss
with Zero, and her pointed avoidance of the Sloth, as he chatted with
Twink. In-teresting, he thought.
"Hey, Bandit!" The Bandit looked up as Starch came striding up to
him, hand held out. "Nice to see you!"
The Bandit didn't take the hand. "I saw you in the audience, Starch."
"Yeah, well," Starch shrugged, withdrawing his ignored hand, "I
wanted to see the repeat performance of your masterwork, since I was too
busy getting set up for the big Commencement concert our band was
playing last May. It sure was lucky you turned up, though; it came off
ragged enough with THREE people up there." He chuckled. "I'd hate to
have seen what would've happened with just two."
The Bandit's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, I'll bet you would," he gritted.
You stinking pusbucket, you haven't changed a bit.
"Are you going to go give some much-needed support to the gang
these two are fronting at the Clean Room tonight?"
"No," the Bandit said evenly, "I'm not a student here any more. They
don't need my help, if they're not playing my music." Behind him, the
Sloth seemed to relax slightly.
"Heh! YOU haven't HEARD them," Starch sneered. "I didn't think
things could sink any lower after you got done with your audiences,
Bandit, but THEY take the PRIZE!" He grinned. "Pitiful."
"Pitiful is right," the Bandit said coldly. "You overbearing, snobbish,
utterly contemptible shitpile! Why don't you do us all a favor and go die
in a hole somewhere?"
"Hey, back off, Bandit!" Starch took a menacing step forward. "I'M
not the one who stole away somebody else's GIRLFRIEND as a JOKE!"
The Bandit didn't even blink. "Hey, Starch," he said softly.
"Hey, what?"
"I'm not enrolled here any more."
The Bandit's fist lashed out in a straight line from his hip to Starch's
left eye, impacting with a meaty thunk. Starch staggered backwards,
clutching at his face with a choked gasp.
"Don't try hitting back," the Bandit said pleasantly. "Any student
who commits assault will be expelled from the College, remember? Save
it for after you graduate. Then I can beat the shit out of you with a clear
conscience."
He turned on his heel and walked away. After a moment, the others
followed him, leaving Starch to sink down on a bench, alone.
The Clean Room was hopping, the Bandit noted as he made his way
across the dance floor with his pitcher of beer. Twink and Mary
Magdalene were waiting for him at a table near the stage, whispering to
each other and giggling softly. They smiled up at him as he set down the
pitcher and the three glasses. He was watching for telltale signs of
fantasies coming true: a surreptitious hand on a thigh, perhaps. But there
was none. No luck, he sighed to himself as he sat down and poured drinks
for the ladies.
"When does the band go on?" He had to shout to be heard over the
music from the DJ booth.
"In a few minutes," Mary Magdalene replied. "Thanks for escorting
the two of us, Bandit." She smiled at Twink, who smiled back at her.
"No problem," the Bandit said mildly, ignoring the sudden nervous
twitch in his leg. "Just like old times, I guess."
"Not really," Twink laughed. "You never would've had both of us at
one time before this." Her offhand comment made Mary Magdalene gasp,
then begin to laugh quietly into her clenched fist.
Twink looked at her curiously. "What'd I say this time?"
"Never mind," the Bandit said. "It's not important." He waved to
another table suddenly. "Hey, Conan!"
The big man came over to their table, holding a glass of beer. "How
are you all doing tonight?" he asked.
"Not bad," the Bandit grinned. The two ladies suddenly slid their
chairs around the table to either side of him and began to run their fingers
through his hair and nibble his ears. His eyebrows raised, but Conan just
grinned.
"Same old Bandit," he laughed.
"Yeah, right," the Bandit said uncomfortably; under the table, hands
were wandering far afield. "Very funny, ladies. Hey, where's Cricket?"
Conan's beer glass cracked in his suddenly clenched fist. He looked
down at it angrily, slammed it down on the table, and stalked off.
"Bad question," one voice breathed.
"They broke up last month," the other one continued.
"Oh. My goof. Say, this is the weirdest pair of headphones I've ever
used," the Bandit said with a quirky smile. "Do you ladies mind?"
"Mmmmm, not at all," said one voice, nibbling an earlobe.
"Me neither," said the other, followed by a wet tongue in his ear.
This is getting serious far too quickly, the Bandit thought, feeling a
pair of hands working slowly up the insides of his thighs. If there isn't a
distraction soon, I'm going to be in real trouble....
"What's the matter, baby?" One voice giggled.
"You seem kind of hot and bothered," the other laughed.
"Well," the Bandit stammered as one hand found the base of his
bulge, "It is k-kind of hot in here, and you ladies are REALLY bothering me--"
"Humph!" One earlobe was nipped sharply, making him yelp.
"Oh, pooh," said the other whisper, receding.
"M-maybe later," the Bandit gasped in relief as they pulled away.
Suddenly he stood up and began to clap and yell loudly. "ALL RIGHT!"
Twink and Mary Magdalene joined him, cheering, as the band came
on to the stage and bowed. There was Zero, and the Sloth, and the new
rhythm guitarist, and the new bassist and drummer...and Diva! She was
smiling radiantly in a tight T-shirt knotted high under her breasts, and she
gave the Bandit a special wave and wink as she stepped behind her electric
piano.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...THE ZERO SLOTH
PROJECT!"
The crowd cut loose with a roar as the band kicked into gear, a high-
energy dance tune that soon had the dance floor overflowing. Mary
Magdalene yelled, "I've got the first dance with him, Twink! Your turn
next!" And with that, she dragged the Bandit out of his seat and onto the
dance floor.
The next half hour was a blur of lights, music and heaving bosoms
for the Bandit. Neither Twink, Mary Magdalene, nor Diva was wearing a
bra, and all three of them seemed to be making an effort to shake things at
him. By the end of the first set, he'd danced three times each with Twink
and Mary Magdalene, including a slow dance or two with his arms around
a familiar pair of waists. He was exhausted and sweating as the band took
its break between sets.
"Having fun?" Mary Magdalene leaned over to the Bandit as he
shakily downed the last of his beer.
"I'm pooped," he groaned, pouring another beer for himself.
"You'd better not be," Twink said with a laugh. "You've got a long
night ahead of you." Mary Magdalene smiled wickedly at that.
The Bandit looked blearily from one to the other of them, and
somewhere inside of him a huge, swollen balloon stuffed chock-full of
utterly fulfilled sex fantasies began to rise to the surface. It'll be ME
tonight, he suddenly realized. ME with the two of them. ME with--
No.
There it was again. The cold voice, the voice that saw it all, the voice
that saw the future. the balloon burst into wet pieces and was gone.
The Bandit put down his beer. "I don't think so," he said coolly.
Both smiles evaporated. "What do you mean?" Mary Magdalene
asked.
"When I told you this morning," Twink said, "You seemed--"
"I seemed what?" Somewhere, anger began. "Hurt? Left out?
Jealous? Yes! All three. But just because the Human Oil Derrick
managed to swing it, doesn't mean I want it too as a consolation prize!"
"CONSOLATION PRIZE?" Mary Magdalene's eyes went wide.
"YOU-- YOU--" She gesticulated wildly, at a loss for words.
"Yes," the Bandit said softly. "Me. Me. The Bandit. The man who
threw over the woman who gave him the best love he'd ever failed to earn,
for you. The man who fucked you silly for three months straight and then
got tossed out on his ear. The man whom you wrote a letter to that said
you would never, ever have a sexual relationship with him again." His
voice never wavered. "I don't care what ecstasies I'm giving up,
MaryMag. I'm holding you to that promise. You and I are quits, for good,
and there is nothing that can restore what we had. And Twink, I'm really
kind of upset at you for not thinking things through more carefully. Sure,
it would've been a nice gesture. Hell, it would've been more than nice!
But the three of us have all hurt each other so badly in the past...could one
night of passion heal all of that?"
He shook his head wearily. "Let it go. Zero had his fun, and you did,
too. I don't belong here any more, maybe I shouldn't have come...."
"No, don't say that!" Twink took one of his hands, her eyes pleading.
"You're right, Bandit." Mary Magdalene took his other hand gently.
"It wasn't a very well considered idea. It would've been nice at first,
but...." She sighed. "I guess I got carried away. It was so exciting the
first time!" Her eyes glazed over at the memory. The Bandit rolled his
eyes to the heavens. Another member of the Jimi Fan Club, he sighed.
"Yeah, I can imagine," he said ruefully. "Listen, if you two want to
stay together tonight, I can make other plans...."
Mary Magdalene looked at Twink worriedly. Twink said firmly, "No,
you won't, Bandit. You're staying with me tonight. And if it takes
both MaryMag and me tying you to the bed, you are not getting NEAR
Diva!"
"Diva?" He blinked. Was I that obvious? Was she?
"Yes, Diva," Mary Magdalene said sternly. "Ever since Zero left her,
she's been a total wildcat. She's fucked anything that moved on the whole
campus at least once!"
"Oh, come on," the Bandit said uncertainly. "You must be
exaggerating a little bit, right?"
"She slept with Conan the night she and Zero broke up," Twink said.
"And with Lanky the next day, and Plaids the day after that, and we
THINK she even gave Thud a swing at hetero," Mary Magdalene added.
"That friend of yours on the Rugby team--"
"She did a trio thing with the Wiz and Flower--"
"And supposedly she was more into Flower than the Wiz--"
"Bone, and Starch, and Cricket isn't saying but she sure SMILES--"
"And don't forget the Sloth."
"I'm trying to forget the Sloth," Mary Magdalene gritted dangerously.
The Bandit raised an eyebrow at her; she turned away from him.
"She's been hanging out in the gym, picking up guys," Twink said.
"And that's not the worst of it. D'you remember Mimosa?"
"Yeah, sure. Nice quiet kid," the Bandit said. "Diva got HER?"
"Worse!" Mary Magdalene had turned around again, her ire against
Diva overcoming whatever she'd felt about the Sloth. "Mimosa has a
brother, a kid from junior high school, barely into his teens. He came up
here to visit his sister for a weekend, and Diva talked him into her room."
"Holy shit," the Bandit breathed.
"He sure left the campus smiling," Twink sighed.
"Did Mimosa ever find out?"
"Yes, and she raised hell, too," Mary Magdalene sighed. "But Diva
calmed her down and asked her to come up to her room so they could talk
it over quietly, and, well, now Mimosa doesn't complain too loudly."
"Jesus. Busy girl!"
"You bet," Twink said. "so you're staying with me tonight. Right?"
"Right," the Bandit agreed. He gave both of the hands holding his a
squeeze, and both ladies smiled back at him. "And...thanks for the offer."
"Forget it," Mary Magdalene smiled.
"I plan to," he replied with a wink. Both Mary Magdalene and Twink
laughed at that, and the conversation settled onto a less dangerous tack
until the band came out again for the second set.
A few songs into the set, Zero took the microphone and said, "I'd like
to invite an old mate of mine up here to sing lead on our next couple of
songs. Please welcome, back from the grave...THE BANDIT!"
The Bandit, who'd just finished a dance with Twink, looked at him in
horror. Twink pushed him bodily over to the stage and Zero handed him
the mic.
"Are you insane?" The Bandit hissed. "I'm EXHAUSTED!"
"Why?" Zero smiled. "They're not an exhausting pair."
"So I've heard," the Bandit snapped. "Did you at least give Twink a
good time?"
"She asked me what planet I was from," Zero shrugged. He turned to
the band, and yelled, "ONE TWO THREE FOUR--"
The musicians kicked into a screaming run of choppy chords, and the
Bandit had approximately two seconds to recognize the song, smile
widely, recall the lyrics, and leap into the audience, straight at Twink.
"You burn me up, I'm a cigarette--
You hold my hand and I begin to sweat
You make me nervous
Oh, ooh, I'm nervous!
This must be real bad karma for this to be my dharma
with You - woo - wooo...."
The crowd cheered as he skanked across the dance floor, mic cable
tripping people behind him, and sprawled into Mary Magdalene's lap.
"You burn me up, I'm a cigarette--
Life with you is a losing bet
You drive me crazy
Oh, ooh, I'm going crazy!
Your therapeutic antics, well, they only make me frantic
with You - woo - wooo...."
He ran back to the stage and began dancing in front of the Sloth.
"Strategic interaction irreducible fraction
Terminal inaction from a bitter hostile faction
I'm getting anxious
I'm Franctious
Transactional diseases are the only thing that pleases
We -- HEE HEE!"
One quick spin and he was sprawled out across the top of Diva's
piano, lolling back in a parody of a torch singer's slouch.
"You burn me up, I'm a cigarette--
Demanding my attention which you're not gonna get
I'll leave you cut down
Tonight is SHUT down!
Musical elation is my only consolation
From You - woo - WHOA!"
Diva had grown angrier and angrier as she listened to him mangle the
last verse into a message especially for her, one she didn't like at all. With
an angry shove, she heaved the Bandit off the piano and onto the floor in a
heap, where he lay while finishing the song. The crowd, thinking it was
all part of the act, howled with laughter as the song ended, and cried for
more.
The Bandit got up and bowed, then leaned back to Diva.
"You and me, never," he whispered.
"Your loss, needledick," she replied, smiling sweetly.
The Bandit bowed again, smiling, and screamed, "ONE MORE!"
The Clean Room was shut down, and the band was stowing its gear.
Twink and Mary Magdalene had adjourned to the ladies' room, and the
Bandit was in the Burger Bar having one last beer before closing. He
finished his burger with a gulp, and wiped his mouth happily. I'd
forgotten how good a fresh-grilled burger with double mayo can be, he
sighed. Now, all I--
"Bandit?"
The Bandit whirled around. After a moment, he smiled carefully.
"Hi, Teenie."
"Can I sit down?" Her voice was timid, almost fearful.
"Sure." He motioned to the chair across the small table from him.
"It's nice to see you again. How have you been?"
"Okay," Teenie said with a little smile. "I went to the Far East on a
concert tour this summer."
"Marvelous! I hope you had a good time." He watched her carefully.
"It was. We visited--"
"Why'd you leave me?"
The question stopped her like a blow to the face. She looked at him
in real fear, biting her lip.
He leaned forward, his voice a whisper. "I have a right to know.
You walked out of my life two years ago with no explanation. I let you go
because I loved you too much to keep you. But now whatever I'd felt was
gone, and I'm just curious. Why?"
Teenie took a deep breath. "Because," she said, "You didn't ever
really love me at all."
"I didn't?" The Bandit's eyes widened. "That's news to me...."
"Oh, give it up, Bandit!" Teenie actually put a little anger into her
voice. "You can lie to me, but you can't lie to yourself!"
"I'm not lying." His voice was firm. "If I didn't love you, why did I
ask you out?"
"Because you wanted someone to have sex with," Teenie said flatly.
"What?" The Bandit drew his hands across his brow. "Teenie, are
you crazy? Do you really believe that?"
"Why shouldn't I?" Teenie glared at him challengingly.
"Because there's a helluva lot of evidence to the contrary. If all I'd
wanted was a sex object, why not Twink, huh? She was on my case from
day one. I could've had her in bed in no time flat! Why waste time
chasing you? Tell me!"
Teenie looked uncomfortable. "M-Maybe you didn't think she was
very pretty," she said softly.
The Bandit let out his breath in a disparaging huff. "Compared to
you? Get out of here! She's built like a brick shithouse! I was interested
in you because you were musically inclined, and sensitive, and funny, and
caring, and a wonderful person over all! If you didn't want a sexual
relationship with me, all you had to do is say so! This is the 1980s,
Teenie. If a woman says 'Yes', unless there's good evidence to the
contrary, she means 'Yes'! You said 'No' for a long time and I left you
alone until you changed your mind of your own accord. I didn't threaten
you, I didn't play mind games with you. The relationship went at its own
speed, and I hate to tell you this, kid, but it was YOU at the controls, not
me!"
"That's not TRUE!" Teenie cried. "You WANTED me, I KNEW
that!"
"Yes, I did," he said quietly. "But that put no obligation on you.
Twink, for all the fun people made of her, was smart enough to lay down
the ground rules before we did anything at all. I will not accept full
responsibility for the fact that you expected me to read your mind!" He
looked at her grimly. "Are you telling me that every time we made love,
you were coerced into it? I was raping you and you hated it? Are you
telling me that?"
"No, of course not!" Teenie shook her head. Slowly, as if doing
something very difficult, she reached out and took his hand. He clutched
it tightly, and smiled at her. It was the first time they'd touched in years.
She looked into his eyes as she spoke. "It was so hard to go to
confessional after we made love, Bandit. It, it felt miraculous, like God
had meant Man and Woman to feel together! I felt like I wasn't
committing a sin!" She shook her head. "But after a few months, I started
wondering if there was anything else to our relationship besides sex...."
"Are you kidding?" The Bandit slapped his forehead. "You helped
me record some of my first electronic pieces! You sang backup for the
band a couple of times! We shared books, we went to concerts together,
we stayed up talking to all hours-- what was all of that, chopped liver?"
"NO!" Teenie shook her head violently. "It wasn't, it wasn't! But I
thought-- I thought you only did it to keep me around!"
"Why the hell would you think that?" the Bandit wondered aloud.
"Who the hell could put a crazy idea like that in your head, make both of
us suffer the way we did? Did you really come up with this theory on
your own?"
Teenie looked down at the table for a long moment, her brow
furrowed. "Of course I did," she said uncertainly. "I worked it out my,
myself...." She looked up at him in sudden shock. "Once the suggestion
was there!"
"Who made this-- suggestion?" The Bandit already knew the answer,
but he had to hear it from Teenie's lips.
"The Rainbow Wizard," she whispered, a tear forming in her eye.
"Thought so." The Bandit sighed loudly. "Well, what's done is
done," he said, getting up from the table. "We both learned a lot from the
whole affair, I guess. I hear you've got a new boyfriend."
She looked up at him, smiling shakily. "Yes. He's very sweet."
"I'm happy for you," the Bandit said, meaning it with all of his
battered, scabby heart. "Take care, Teenie." He turned to leave.
"Bandit?"
He turned back to face her. "Uh-huh?"
"I'm not sorry things went the way they did," she said quietly. "But I
am sorry you went this long without knowing the truth."
He smiled briefly. "So am I." The bar doors swung behind him.
The morning sun was bright over the roof of the East Habitat as the
Bandit tossed his luggage into the back seat of his car. Twink and Mary
Magdalene were there to see him off; the others had said goodbye at
breakfast, and had headed off for their Monday classes.
"Well, this is it," the Bandit sighed. He gave Mary Magdalene a
quick, hard hug, then held her at arms' length and shook her sharply.
"Keep your promise to me," he said sternly. "And to yourself. You can't
grow in Arcadia. Get the hell out. Soon! Okay?"
Mary Magdalene nodded. "I'll try, Bandit. Sometime this year.
Really." The Bandit looked skeptically at her, then suddenly gasped as he
remembered something. "Here," he said, "I almost forgot." He dug into
his pocket and pulled out something small and shiny on a ratty old thread.
It jingled gently as he placed it in Mary Magdalene's hands, and she
accepted it silently, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Thanks," she said softly. "You were right; I did want it back."
"No problem," the Bandit smiled, though now he was looking at
Twink. He gazed into her tear-filled eyes for a long moment, then pulled
her into his arms and hugged her long and hard.
"Be good, kid," he whispered into her ear.
"I will if you will," she whispered back.
He let her go with a last, gentle kiss, and got into the car. He rolled
down the window and said, "Take care, both of you." Then the window
went back up and the car, crunching over the fresh snow, spun out and
headed for the main highway.
Glancing into the rear-view mirror, the Bandit saw Twink bury her
face in her hands, saw Mary Magdalene gently take her in her arms and
hold her. Then he turned his attention back to the road, and a single tear
ran down his cheek as he turned the corner and the East Habitat was lost to
sight.
Damn sun in my eyes, he thought, wiping a hand across his face. He
floored the accelerator as he hit the On-ramp, and the car was gone in a
blur, leaving Arcadia for the long trip home.
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