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Subject: {ASSM} New: Funeral (mf, cons, oral, anal, light spank) *
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By John K
mf, cons, oral, anal, light spank
Copyright 1998 by john k
The content of this story is sexual in nature. It may be illegal
to read depending on your age and your geographical location; proceeding
past this warning places responsibility with you. The description of
certain acts in a work of fiction is in no way meant to be interpreted as
approval of these acts in reality.

Frank died last week, and I had to go pay my respects at his funeral.  I hate 
funerals. They're depressing and boring.  The coffin, the eulogies, and the 
crying people. 
Frank was a friend, maybe a mentor, from the office.  He'd taught me a few 
things about the job, and had a wicked sense of humor.  I felt a little 
guilty when he died - I hadn't even known he was sick.
So, Saturday morning, I drove down to the church.  A big, suburban 
Catholic Church.   Boooooring.  Anyway, I was sitting there in the pew, 
waiting for the service to start when this family walked in and sat down 
on the other side of the aisle, a few rows ahead of me.  Father, three 
boys and the best looking young lady I'd seen in ages.  Shoulder length 
curly red hair, slim body, and a very nice ass. I guessed her age at 
somewhere between eighteen and twenty.  Definitely legal, but probably 
still living at home.  Nice for fantasy, but that was it.
I'm not sure how she managed to convince her father to let her wear that 
dress to a funeral, but I was glad she had.  Showed off just the tops of 
her breasts, then form fitting from her shoulders to below her hips.  
It took my mind off the funeral for a pleasant moment. Then I went back 
to reminiscing about Frank.
I was watching her out of the corner of my eye (sometimes I can't help 
myself).  She'd sat down next to her father, who was on the aisle, and she 
really was squirming in her seat.  I know those pews are hard, but this 
was a little overdone.  I shook my head and tried to concentrate back on 
the task at hand - mourning my friend.  It didn't work too well.
A couple of minutes later, I saw her turn to her father and whisper 
something.  I could almost hear what she was saying, but not quite.  
Still, I thought I heard the word, "Pee!"  I grinned to myself.
Sure enough, her father nodded curtly. She stood and moved sideways 
out of the pew, giving me another nice view of her rear.  When she turned 
to head for the back of the church, I was pleased to see she had a 
very nice face.  It's been my experience that there are lots of 
women with beautiful faces and so-so bodies, others with so-so faces 
and beautiful bodies, and a still larger number with so-so bodies AND 
faces, but wonderful minds.  They're all fascinating in their own ways. 
I'll admit that for fantasies, I prefer a beautiful face and a beautiful 
body.  Minds, I'll keep for reality.
I smiled at her when she looked at me, and she smiled back.  Then she did 
something I'd only fantasize about.  She winked and nodded to the back of 
the church.  When she walked past my pew, she briefly touched my hand as 
she passed.  Fortunately, I was in the last pew in the church, so no one saw 
her do it.
I waited a moment, then turned to look.  She really was heading for the 
restrooms.  I thought about it for a moment, watching the priest and pallbearers 
ready Frank's coffin for the walk down the aisle.  Reaching a decision, I stood, 
knelt by the side of the pew (hey, I'm a 'Raised Catholic', OK?), and headed for 
the back, nodding to the priest as I did so.
The restrooms were down a short hallway with a dogleg, so I was out of sight 
of the funeral party.  I stood for a moment in front of the door marked 
"Ladies" and took a deep breath.  I'd never done anything like this before.  
If I'd misunderstood this young lady, I could be in deep shit.  I started to 
turn away, then made my decision, turned back and opened the door.
She was sitting on the toilet, holding a wad of toilet paper in her hand, 
her panties around her knees.
I said, "I hate funerals, you know?"
She looked up and smiled, then crooked a finger to draw me closer.  I had 
just enough presence of mind to lock the door before I stepped forward.  Without 
a word, she reached for my crotch and rubbed her hand over it once, before 
unzipping my fly.
She reached inside, a little surprised, I think, to find briefs instead of 
boxers.  It took both her hands to tuck the material under my balls.  Long 
enough that when she finished, I was fully erect.  She held the base of my 
cock in both hands and inspected me carefully, sniffing the aroma of my cock deeply.
She murmured, "Nice," opened her mouth and slid my cock into her mouth.
I've had plenty of blowjobs before (I'm thirty-five, been married, had my share 
of girlfriends), but this girl was better than anyone before, including a couple 
of pros.  Of course, my judgement may be clouded by the fact that I hadn't had 
a girlfriend for six months, and the morbid excitement of getting a blowjob 
in a church while a funeral was going on.  Still, she damn well did know how to 
use her tongue, and she MUST have seen a porno flick or two, because she kept 
her eyes open the whole time, staring deeply into mine.
After about ten or fifteen long strokes, she pulled back for a moment and wiped 
her mouth with the back of her hand.  
"Very tasty," she said, then slid me back into her mouth.  
This time, she slid forward until her nose was buried in my pubic hair.  I 
couldn't help it, as she rubbed her nose at the base of my belly, I came.  Six 
strong spurts.  She took the first two without moving, then slowly slid back, 
spurt by spurt, until the final two landed in her open mouth, where I could watch 
the gruel bathe her teeth and tongue.  If she hadn't been holding onto my cock, 
I would have lost my balance.  I groaned and sagged forward.
"Jesus Christ Almighty," I moaned, "that was awesome."
"Thanks," she said, pushing a short string of cum from her cheek into her mouth.  
"Now, about me?."
I started to drop to my knees.  "Sure, I'll eat you, babe," I said.
She pushed me back up.  "Nope, I don't want you to eat me."
She stood, then turned and bent over the toilet, grabbing the handicap bar behind 
it.  "Fuck me," she said.
"Ahm," I said, suddenly remembering I WAS thirty-five, and I couldn't reload as 
quickly as boys her age.
"In my ass," she finished.  My body immediately forgot how old it was, and 
my cock sprang to attention.  (God, just like a porno story).  I flipped up 
the back of her skirt and found out why she'd been squirming so much in the 
pew.  Her ass had about a dozen red welts across it.  They looked new.
"Who did this?" I asked, running a finger along one welt.
"Daddy," she answered. Looking over her shoulder.  "And, before you ask, no, it's 
not abuse.  I flunked Chemistry.  Since he's paying for school, he figures he gets 
to take it out on my ass if I flunk a course.  My fault."
"Hmm, bet he wouldn't like his little girl in here giving professional quality 
blowjobs and getting fucked in the ass," I said, gazing at her stripes.
"No, he wouldn't like it at all," she replied.
"Well, then I think I should punish you for it.  A dozen spanks?"
"If you insist, Mr. Mysterious," she answered.
I hit her hard enough to cause her to gasp with each slap, but not so hard as 
to bruise her.  I admit, I like the sound of flesh meeting flesh, and watching 
those adorable ass cheeks bounce with each slap only made me harder.  The final 
two, I dropped my hand a little to catch her on the tops of her thighs, in that 
really tender area below her ass.  She did squeal with those two.
Satisfied, I stood back and ran two fingers up her slit from behind.  She looked 
over her shoulder with alarm.  "Careful, I'm a virgin!"
I smeared some of her moisture onto her rose as I chuckled.  "Best blowjob I've 
ever had, wants me to fuck her in the ass, and she's a virgin.  In a church, at 
a funeral.  This has got to be a dream!"
Even if it was a dream, I was going to enjoy it.  I put the head of my cock against 
her asshole and began pushing.  "Relax, baby, and let me slide inside you."
She squeezed me hard - hard enough that I had to stop halfway in.  Still, I was 
sure she'd been buggered before.  It may be trite, but her asshole felt like warm 
butter sliding over my cock, and I didn't think I could get enough of it.  Slowly at 
first, then faster and faster, I began plumbing the depths of her bowels in time to 
her moans.  It really was a beautiful sight, this young ass spread before me, my 
cock alternately buried to the hilt, then back until the glans almost popped free, 
then back deep into her ass.
Her head had dropped forward, and I ran my hands up her flanks, then forward and 
down to cup her small, firm breasts.  Her panties were still around her knees, which 
only increased the delicious pressure on my cock.
I lasted a lot longer this time, but I finally felt the pressure begin to build in 
my balls.  "I'm going to cum soon," I announced.
"Oh, yes, please," she moaned.  "I'm almost ready, just a minute longer!"
I saw she was only holding on to the handicap bar with one hand now.  I didn't have 
to imagine where her other hand was, but doing so made me grow even larger.  I 
held off as long as I could.  Finally, just after I shouted, "I'm cumming," she did 
the same.
We bucked against each other, as lovers will, and finally my balls were empty.  
"That's the best piece of ass I've ever had," I said, "no pun intended."
"Best I ever had at a funeral," she replied.
We both laughed a little, and we began the awkward business of extracting my cock 
from her ass without getting any juices or scat on her dress.  I discovered one 
immense advantage of fucking in a restroom...there's plenty of soap and water to 
clean up with and lots of paper towels.
As we cleaned up, I said, "I'm kind of embarrassed about this, I don't even know 
your name.  Could I see you again?"
"Not unless you're willing to meet my Dad - he screens every boy I go out with.  
I suspect you're a little older than he'd approve of, Mr. Mysterious."
"I suppose you're right," I said, turning and zipping up my pants.
"You know I am.  Now, get out there - I think they're done, and you can just 
fade into the crowd and fade away, Mr. Mysterious.  Thanks for a great fuck.  
I don't think I hate funerals quite so much now."
"Yeah, me neither," I answered and impulsively kissed her lips.  "It was wonderful.  
Thanks, Barbara."
I turned and left the restroom and faded through the crowd just like she'd 
suggested, maybe a little faster than she thought I might.  As I drove off, 
I chuckled, imagining her wondering how I knew her name.  I pulled her driver's 
license from my shirt pocket.  Barbara Jones, 1101 Elm Lane.  You shouldn't turn 
your back on an ass fucker in a public restroom - not only will you get it in the 
ass, your purse might get picked. I wondered how long I'd wait to call.


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