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Subject: RP Seinfeld story "The Gangbang"  by DG

The following piece of fiction contains strong sexual 
content and is meant to be read only by adults.  If you 
are not at least 18 years old, or if you are offended by 
this type of material, please do not read any further.

	Authors note:  The following episode of the hit TV 
	show "Seinfeld" was originally scheduled to be the 
	centerpiece of NBC's Fall sweeps week this year.  
	The network executives figured that they were finally 
	giving loyal "Seinfeld" viewers the episode they had 
	always wanted.  Unfortunately, when sponsors learned 
	what the storyline was, several of them threatened to 
	pull out and the episode had to be scrapped.  A friend 
	of mine leaked the script to me, and I decided to rework 
	it into a narrative story and post it.  Once you read it, 
	I'm sure you will agree that the network was foolish to 
	think they could ever get it on the air.
	-- DG  (

			 "The Gangbang"
			A Seinfeld episode 
			    by DG

	The intercom next to the front door buzzed, and Jerry Seinfeld 
got up from his couch, walked across his neat one-bedroom apartment, 
and pushed the talk button.

	"Who is it?"

	"It's George."

	"Come on up."  Jerry buzzed George in, unlocked the door, 
and then sat back down to continue channel surfing, his favorite leisure 

	George Costanza came in and plopped down next to him. 

	"How's it going, Jerry?" 

	"Not bad, Georgie.  What brings you by?"  This was more or 
less a rhetorical question, since George dropped by almost every day 
after work for no particular reason other than habit, and Jerry wasn't 
expecting much of a reply.

	But George heaved a deep sigh and said, "I want to ask you 
something, Jerry."


	"When's the last time you got laid?  If you don't mind my 
asking, of course."

	Jerry tore his eyes away from the TV and gave George a 
surprised look.

	"When's the last time I got laid??  You came over here to ask 
me that?"

	"I'll tell you the last time I got laid, Jerry."  A few moments of 
silence.  "Actually, I can't even remember, which just proves my 
point.  I'm horny, dammit.  My basic male needs are not being met."

	Jerry shifted a few inches along the couch away from his 

	"Well, I can't help you there, I'm afraid."

	"Don't be ridiculous, Jerry.  I haven't seen you dating anyone 
lately, and I thought maybe you had the same problem I did.  Misery 
loves company, you know."

	Jerry thought about it.  The truth was, he hadn't had any sex in 
months either.

	"You know, now that you mention it, it's been a while for me 
too."  He shook his head sadly.  "You hit the nail on the head - It really 
is a basic male need, isn't it?"

	George nodded.  "If only it was also a basic female need, then 
we wouldn't have this problem. Some people say that women need 
sex, but I certainly haven't seen much evidence of it."

	The intercom buzzed again, and Jerry heaved himself back up 
off the couch with a sigh.

	"Who is it?"

	"It's Elaine."

	"Come on up."

	Jerry sat back down. "She's been coming over here every day 
after her workout to use my shower," he said.  "They installed those 
low-flow shower heads at her health club."

	George shook his head.  "How do you like that," he said 
absently.  As a general rule, he preferred to concentrate on his own 

	"Not very much actually, but what can you do."

	Elaine Benes came into the apartment and dropped an enormous 
gym bag on the floor with a loud thump.  She was wearing a tight 
spandex leotard under a pair of running shorts, and her long brown 
hair was pulled back by a sweatband.  Sweat evaporating from her 
leotard had caused localized cooling, and her nipples were poking 
through the spandex.

	"Hi Jerry, hi George."  

	Elaine walked over to the refrigerator, took out a carton of 
milk, and began drinking like someone who had been lost in the desert 
for a week.  Milk dribbled out of the corner of her mouth, down her 
throat, and into the cleavage of her leotard.  Finally, she lowered the 
carton and let out a long, satisfied sigh.

	"God, I needed that."  

	She noticed that Jerry and George were staring at her.

	"What?"  She looked at the empty carton in her hand.  "Oh, 
sorry about the milk.  I'll bring you some more tomorrow."

	"It's not that," said Jerry finally.  "You've got a little milk..."  
He motioned to his chin.

	"Oh, thanks."  She wiped her chin with her hand, and then did 
the same thing to her neck and the upper part of her chest.  As she 
licked the last drops of milk off her fingers, she noticed that they were 
staring at her again.

	"What's with you guys?"

	"Nothing, really," said Jerry.  

	"No, come on - you're both staring at me with funny looks on 
your faces.  What's going on? What were you talking about before I 
came up?"

	Elaine was one of those women who couldn't stand to be left 
out of a conversation, and Jerry knew she wouldn't be satisfied until 
she had dragged it out of them.

	"George and I were just having sort of a guy talk," he said.  "It 
turns out that neither one of us has...  been with a woman in quite 
some time.  We were sitting here commiserating, and then you waltz in 
here in that tight outfit and start guzzling milk, letting it run down your 
neck and between your breasts..."

	"I get the point," she interrupted.  "You're horny."

	"Exactly!" said George, slapping the armrest of the couch for 
emphasis.  "We're horny."

	They braced themselves for some teasing from Elaine.

	 "Well, I'm horny too," she said to their surprise.  She made a 
sour face.  "I haven't gotten laid since Fred joined that cult."

	Jerry shook his head.  "That was such a shame.  Fred seemed 
like a nice guy."

	"Well, his name is Ram El, now, and he has forsaken all 
earthly pleasures, including me.  I've had quite a dry spell since then.  
Sex is a basic female need, you know."

	"Aha!" said George.  "So at least there's hope."

	Elaine looked at them thoughtfully, and then gave them a 
devilish smile.  "Maybe we could sort each other out.  What 
do you say, Georgie?"  Elaine knew George had always had a crush on 

	"That would be fantastic," said George.

	"Sounds good to me, too," said Jerry cheerfully.  Naturally 
they assumed she was kidding.  But she wasn't.

	She came over and squeezed between them on the couch.

	"In fact," she said, "I was thinking it would be fun to have sex 
with both of you guys at once.  What do you say?"

	George gasped for breath as he realized she was serious.  
"What do we say?  What you think we say??  We say yes!!"  He 
looked over at Jerry for confirmation, but his friend looked doubtful.  
The comedian was kind of squeamish about trying anything new or 

	Elaine poked Jerry in the ribs.  "What's the matter, sport?  Not 
man enough?"

	Jerry stood up and paced back and forth.  "I don't know about 
this.  I was in this situation once before, and I didn't do it because I 
thought I would have to start living a whole different life style."

	"You didn't do it because you are a moron," muttered George, 
who had helped Jerry get that previous opportunity and had never 
forgiven him for passing it up.

	"Come on Jerry, live a little," encouraged Elaine.  "A little wild 
sex won't kill you."

	"I'll kill you if you don't do it," said George helpfully.

	Jerry looked at them and then threw his hands in the air.  "OK, 
OK, what the heck.  I'll do it."

	"Hot dog!"  George clapped his hands together with glee.  
"This is going to be great!"

	"Listen to me, both of you," said Elaine.  "I don't want you 
telling anyone about this.  It could really hurt my reputation."

	"Our lips are sealed," agreed George immediately.

	"Yeah, I've heard you say that before," said Elaine over her 
shoulder as she went into the bathroom to take her shower.  "This time 
I mean it."

	George stared at Jerry in amazement.  "Can you believe it?"

	Jerry spread his hands out wide and shook his head.  "I really 
can't believe it.  Our dear sweet Elaine."

	George snorted.  "Not when we get through with her."  He 
rubbed his hands together.  "Now, we need a plan of action.  Who's 
going to do what, what's going to go where, it's all got to be decided 
ahead of time."

	At that moment, much to George and Jerry's dismay, the door 
flew open and Kramer burst into the apartment.  

	"Hiya," he said to both of them.  "Jerry, you ready to go?"

	"Go where?" asked Jerry distractedly.

	"To the grocery store, remember?  There's a big fruit sale today 
and I want to stock up."

	Jerry recalled that he had promised his lanky neighbor that he 
would go food shopping with him this evening.  At the moment, it was 
the last thing he wanted to do.  However, he was worried that George 
would spill the beans to Kramer, and he reasoned that it might be best 
to separate them."

	"OK, Kramer, lets go."

	Kramer was looking at George curiously.  "What's the matter, 
buddy?  You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

	"Nothings the matter," said George defensively.  "Why do you 

	"Oh yeah," said Kramer, leaning forward and inspecting 
George's face closely.  "Something's the matter all right."

	"Nothings the matter!" said Jerry desperately.  "Now lets go."

	Kramer spun around and looked at Jerry intently.  
"Something's going on here - I can feel it!"  

	"Kramer, there is nothing going on here," repeated Jerry.  His 
heart sank as he saw that beads of sweat were forming on George's 

	Kramer poked his finger into George's chest.  "George, there's 
something going on between you two, and I want to know what it is.  
Now come on, out with it!"

	George swallowed hard.  He was visibly trembling as Kramer 
stared directly into his eyes.  "All right, all right...  Jerry and I are 
going to be in a threesome together."

	Jerry shook his head sadly.

	Kramer jumped a few inches into the air as if he had been jolted 
by an electrical socket.  "A threesome!  That's unbelievable!  Who's 
the lucky lady?"

	"No one you know," said George.  "And it's none of your 
business, anyway."

	"No, no, no," said Kramer thoughtfully.  "You can't fool old 
Cosmo Kramer.  It's someone I know, isn't it?"  

	Suddenly Kramer heard the shower running, and realization 
dawned.  "It's Elaine!  You guys are going to do a threesome with 
Elaine!"  He stared at George accusingly, as if daring him to deny it.

	George's face drooped and he stared at the floor.  "Yes, it's 
Elaine," he admitted.

	Jerry looked at his watch.  "Four minutes.  You managed to 
keep that secret for four whole minutes.  Very impressive."

	George was too ashamed to speak.

	"So, our sweet little Elaine is going to try some wild, 
uninhibited lovemaking," said Kramer.  "Count me in."

	"Count you in?!" shouted George.

	"Are you crazy?!" chimed in Jerry.

	"This isn't like sharing a taxi!" said George angrily.  "It's a 
private matter between the three of us.  You can't say anything to 
Elaine about this, Kramer.  If she finds out that you know, it will never 

	Kramer nodded grudgingly.  "OK, OK, I won't say anything."

	Just then Elaine walked out of the bathroom with a towel 
around her head.  "Jerry, can I use your hair dryer?  Oh, hi Kramer."

	"Well, hello there," said Kramer in a low, husky voice.

	Elaine stopped in her tracks and stared at Kramer for a second.  
Then she looked at George.  "You told him, didn't you?"  George's 
face told her the answer.

	"He held out for four whole minutes," said Jerry.  "For 
George, that's not too bad."

	"Well, that's just great," said Elaine angrily.  "I guess I'll have 
to call the whole thing off.  I don't want the whole city to know about 

	George shook his head despondently.  He appeared to be close 
to tears.  Suddenly, he slapped himself repeatedly on the forehead.  
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

	Elaine thought it over briefly.  "Unless....   Kramer, you want 

	"Oh yeah - I want in."  Kramer smiled happily.

	"OK, we'll do it with Kramer," said Elaine.

	"Hallelujah!" shouted George.

	"You are going to do all three of us at once?" asked Jerry 

	"Sure, why not."  She cocked her hip saucily at Jerry.  "I have 
three holes, don't I?  Come on, too late to chicken out now."

	Jerry shook his head in confusion.  This was getting to be a 
little too much for him.  But Elaine was right, it was too late to back 
out now.

	"You know who else you should get in on this?" said Kramer 
to Elaine.  

	"I hate to even ask," said Elaine.  "But who?"

	"Newman," said Kramer with a knowing nod.

	"Newman??  Why Newman?"  Elaine wrinkled her nose with 
distaste.  Newman was an overweight friend of Kramer's who lived in 
the building.  He and Jerry didn't get along.

	"Well, most people don't know this, but Newman is a superb 

	"A what?" asked Elaine, laughing.

	"A superb cocksman," repeated Kramer.  

	"How do you know?" asked George.  "Are you just taking his 
word for it?"

	"I've seem him action," answered Kramer with a meaningful 

	"That's too much information," said Jerry with disgust.

	"No, no," said Kramer.  "He was in some movies back in the 
early eighties.  Adult movies."

	"Wait a minute," said George.  "You're telling me Newman 
used to be a porno actor?  I don't believe it."

	"I don't believe it either," said Jerry.  "Kramer, you're nuts."

	"Oh no, it's true," said Kramer.  "Wait right here."  He 
disappeared out the door.

	"Superb cocksman," said Jerry thoughtfully.  "There's a phrase 
you don't hear every day."

	"I'll say,"  giggled Elaine.

	"It's kind of raunchy and elegant at the same time," said Jerry, 
switching into his stand-up comedian mode.  "You know, I think it 
would be a good phrase for a personal ad."  He pantomimed reading a 
classified ad.  "Single white male, mid thirties, non-smoker, is looking 
for someone to share special times with.  Enjoy reading, rollerblading, 
and avante garde films.  Superb cocksman."

	Elaine laughed.  "That's pretty good, Jerry.  You ought to put 
that into your act."

	"No, I don't think that would go over very well.  I've got a 
reputation as a family comedian, you know."

	"Too bad," said Elaine.  "It's a lot funnier than most of your 

	"Gee, thanks," said Jerry.

	Kramer burst back into the apartment carrying a videotape.

	"Here it is: 'Hot and Spicy Pizza Girls'!  A classic."  He 
popped it into the VCR and started fast forwarding.

	"Right up there with 'The Godfather', I'm sure," said Jerry 

	"Here we go," said Kramer, playing the tape at normal speed.  
On the screen, a scantily clad woman carrying a pizza box sauntered up 
to the front of a house and rang the bell.  A thin young man with curly 
brown hair answered the door.

	"There he is," said Kramer triumphantly.  "That's Newman."

	"That's not Newman," said George dismissively.

	Elaine leaned in for a closer look.  "Oh my God, that IS 

	"About ten thousand bear claws ago," observed Jerry.

	"I don't get it," said George with a note of jealousy in his 
voice.  "Why would anyone put Newman in a porno movie?"

	"Oh my God," said Elaine, staring wide-eyed at the TV.

	"I must say, that's quite impressive," admitted Jerry.

	"Quite a piece of equipment he's got there, isn't it," said 
Kramer proudly.  "He really knows how to use it, too."

	George shook his head sadly.  "I certainly can't compete with 

	Elaine turned off the tape.  "I've seen enough," she said.  
"Newman's in."

	Jerry threw up his hands in dismay.  "Four guys!  How are 
you going to do four guys at once?"

	"We need a plan," said George again.  "You can't just rush into 
these things willy-nilly and expect them to go smoothly."

	Jerry gave him a dirty look.  "Oh, so you're an expert, now.  
Well, someone please explain to me how Elaine is going to satisfy four 
men at once."

	Jerry, George, and Kramer launched into an animated 
discussion.  Arguments began, and angry words were exchanged.  A 
sketch pad was used.  George, who was secretly afraid that he was 
going to be stuck with a hand job or an armpit, was particularly 

	"SHUT UP, all of you!"  Elaine was looking at them 
accusingly, hands on her hips.  They fell silent.

	"This is MY orgy and I'll decide who does what."

	They listened attentively.

	"George, you get my ass."

	"Why me?" asked George.

	"Well, that's the tightest hole, and it's a very sensitive area.  
I'm not sure how to put this nicely, George, but I think  I would be 
most comfortable with you in my ass."

	George looked a little hurt.  "What, you just assume that my 
cock is the smallest?"

	"Not at all.  Jerry told me."

	George shrugged.  "That's OK.  I wanted the ass anyway."

	"Good," said Elaine.  "Just be sure you wear a condom.  And 
not one of those blue ones, for Gods sake."

	"Don't worry," said George reassuringly.  "I threw all those 

	"OK," continued Elaine.  "Jerry, you have the best hygeine , so 
you get my mouth.  Kramer, that leaves you with my pussy.  Now, is 
everyone happy?"

	They all nodded.

	"What about Newman?" asked Jerry.

	"He can be a substitute in case someone gets hurt," answered 
Elaine with a laugh.  "I just want to get a closer look at his tool, 

	"So when do we do it?" asked George eagerly.

	Elaine smiled.  She was almost as eager as George.  "How 
about tomorrow at about this time?  We'll all meet right here."

	"All right," said Jerry.  "Tomorrow it is.  Do you think you can 
wait that long?" he asked, looking at George.

	"Are you kidding?  I won a contest, remember?"



	The next day, George arrived at Jerry's apartment a bit early.  

	"I wanted to make sure I had time to get ready," he said, going 
into the bedroom.

	A few minutes later he came out wearing a paisley silk robe.  

	Jerry looked at him and laughed.  "You look like Hugh Hefner.  
All you need is the pipe."

	"One should always dress appropriately for the occasion," said 
George, inspecting himself in the mirror.  "It's one of my philosophies 
in life.  If you want to be a swinger, you have to dress like a swinger."

	"Well you look like one swinging dude, my friend."

	Elaine was next to arrive.  "Nice robe," she said to George with 
a wan smile.

	"Elaine, you look kind of pale," observed Jerry.  "Are you 
feeling all right?"

	"I'm kind of nervous," she admitted.  "I've never done 
anything like this before, you know."  She started opening cabinets in 
the kitchen.  "You have any booze?"

	"Bottom cabinet next to the fridge," said Jerry.

	Elaine found a bottle of whiskey and poured herself a huge 
drink.   "Down the hatch," she said, tossing it back.  "Whoa!  That's 
more like it."

	As the alcohol took effect, color returned to her cheeks and she 
began to dance around the apartment.  She shimmied seductively up to 
George and ran her hands up and down his chest, enjoying the slippery 
feeling of the silk.  

	"I like a man who knows how to dress for the occasion."

	George nodded knowingly.

	"OK, Costanza, lets see it, " she suddenly said with a giggle.

	George turned pale.  "You want to see it?  What, just like that?"

	"You heard her, Hef," said Jerry.  "She wants to see it."

	"I think I better have a drink first," said George.  He poured 
himself a shot of whiskey and downed it.  "Ahhhhh...   I see what you 
mean, Elaine.  That does help."

	He walked back over to Elaine and then, with one sudden 
movement, he flung off the robe.  He wasn't wearing anything under 

	"Whoohoooo!" shouted Elaine.  "Now were getting 

	"Nothing but socks," said Jerry.  "That's always a nice look."

	Elaine walked over to Jerry.  "OK, wise guy, I think it's your 
turn.  You need a drink first?"

	"No thanks.  But what about you?  When are you going to get 

	"Not until everyone is here," said Elaine coquettishly.  "But I 
guess I can get a little more comfortable."  She took off her blouse and 
her skirt, revealing a short black teddy which was cut low in front.  
She did a twirl for their benefit.

	"Now, lets go Jerry," she said.  "Chop, chop."

	"You heard the woman," said George.  "Besides, you won't 
believe how much better you will feel once you are naked."  In fact, 
George did look unusually radiant.

	"OK, OK," said Jerry.  He slowly removed his white sneakers 
and socks, then his jeans and his t-shirt, folding them neatly as he took 
them off.  Finally, he stood completely naked.

	"You know, this does feel pretty good," he said, smiling and 
swinging his arms back and forth.

	"I told you," said George.

	Just then the doorknob rattled and there was a loud thud as 
something hit the door.

	"I thought it would be prudent to leave it locked this evening," 
said Jerry.

	Elaine opened the door, and Kramer and Newman walked in.  
Kramer was rubbing his forehead and looked a little dazed.  Newman 
walked up to Elaine, moving quite gracefully despite his bulk, and 
kissed her hand gallantly.  Then he stood in front of Jerry and gave 
him a long look up and down.

	"Hello, Jerry," he sneered.

	"Hello, Newman."  Jerry tried to sound confident and superior, 
but he felt himself wilting under Newman's gaze.

	"What's the matter, Jerry, you look a little uncomfortable," said 
Newman with a smirk.

	"You have me at kind of a disadvantage here," protested Jerry.  
"I'm naked and you're fully dressed."

	Newman glanced briefly down at Jerry's midsection and 
snickered.  "Oh, I have you at a disadvantage all right."

	Kramer suddenly noticed that George and Jerry were naked.  
"You didn't start without us, did you?"

	"Not all," said Jerry. 

	"Come on, Kramer and Newman," said Elaine, doing another 
twirl.  "All the guys have to take it off, and then we can get started."

	"Giddyup," said Kramer eagerly, and he put down the duffel 
bag he was carrying.  He tore off his polyester sport shirt, sending a 
button bouncing across the floor, kicked off his shoes, and dropped 
his pants, leaving himself completely nude.

	"Now that's what I call following orders," said Elaine 

	Newman had gone into the bedroom to undress.  Now he 
walked out, also naked, with a little smile on his face.  His smile was 
the only little thing about him.  His wide chest and big belly made him 
appear twice the size of any of the other men in the room.  But what 
really caught ones eye was his immense tool, which hung down to his 
knees and was as thick as a mans forearm.  The overall impression he 
gave was of a bull elephant.  

	"What can I say, Newman," said Elaine, sounding a little out of 
breath.  "I don't know where I'm going to find the room for that."

	"I'm sure we can squeeze it in somewhere," he said.

	The other three men were trying desperately not to look at the 
portly postal worker.  Jerry decided to try to change the subject.

	"Hey Kramer - what's in the duffel bag, party boy?"

	"Equipment, Jerry."

	"Ooh, toys," said Elaine, perking up.  "Lets see."

	Kramer unzipped the duffel bag, rooted around, and then 
pulled out a large, black dildo.

	Jerry shook his head in wonderment.  "A dildo, Kramer?  We 
have four guys and one woman - what on earth do we need a dildo 

	"He's got a point, Kramer," laughed Elaine.  "Lets see what 
else you have in there."

	"Right," said Kramer, unfazed.  He reached in again and pulled 
out a big plastic squeeze bottle.  "How about some massage oil?"

	"That's more like it."  She took the bottle and pointed it 
playfully at Jerry.  A jet of oil arced past the comedian and splattered 
onto his couch.  

	"My couch!  Don't mess up my couch!"

	Elaine started laughing hysterically.  Ignoring Jerry's attempts 
to protect his couch, she began squirting oil at all of them and then 
rubbing it in.  A few minutes later, Jerry, George, and Kramer were all 
coated from head to toe with a glistening coat of oil.  Newman seemed 
content to stand aside and watch.

	"What's that scent?" inquired George during a break in the 
action.  He had been very quiet since Newman had arrived, but he 
seemed to have regained his courage.

	"Passion fruit," replied Kramer.

	Jerry made a face.  "This apartment is going to smell like 
passion fruit for months.

	Elaine giggled.  "You make that sound like a bad thing."  

	"All right, Miss Benes," said Jerry.  "We are all naked, 
completely covered with oil, and sporting firm erections of various 
sizes and shapes.  I think it's time for you to lose that teddy."

	"I guess you're right," she said.  

	Elaine's cheeks were flushed, her chest was heaving with the 
exertion of spreading oil on three squirming men, and her eyes were 
sparkling.  To put it succinctly, she looked extremely hot.  After 
handing the bottle of oil to George, she closed her eyes and raised her 
arms over her head.

	"All right, men.  You may do with me as you wish."

	They pulled her teddy up over her head and off, and slid her 
black thong panties down her legs to the floor.  Massage oil was 
squirted all over her body in generous amounts, and then Elaine felt the 
delicious sensation of six large, male hands stroking every slippery 
square inch of her anatomy.  

	She opened her eyes for a moment to see who was doing what.  
George was standing in front of her, kneading her breasts with both 
hands.  Kramer was on his knees, running his hands up and down her 
legs.  Jerry was behind her, massaging her back from her shoulders 
down to her ass.  

	"Mmmmm," she said.  "That feels wonderful, guys."

	She closed her eyes again and concentrated on enjoying the 
administrations of her three friends.  She imagined that this was what a 
car would feel like going through one of those deluxe hand washes 
where the attendants swarm all over it with their hoses, sponges, and 
soft rags.  She became hornier and hornier, and it was a relief when 
Jerry finally slid his hand down between her slippery ass cheeks and 
fingered her pussy from behind.

	"Oh, God," she moaned.  

	"We certainly won't be needing any more oil down here," said 
Jerry, as he a slipped a finger into her, and then added a second and a 
third.  He finger-fucked her expertly, and then Kramer started rubbing 
her pussy from the front.

	Elaine's eyes snapped open.  She couldn't wait any longer.  

	"Enough foreplay!" she barked.  "Lets get to the main event.  
Kramer, lie down right there on your back."  She pointed to the open 
space behind the couch.

	Kramer complied quickly, stumbling over his duffel bag and 
almost falling down.  The floor was extremely slippery from all the oil.

	Elaine saw with satisfaction that Kramer's cock was fully erect 
and pointing up at the ceiling.  She stood over him for a few seconds 
with her legs straddling his chest, savoring the moment, and then she 
lowered herself onto his waiting love muscle, which slid smoothly into 
her fully lubricated quim.

	"Oh, Baby!!" shouted Kramer.  

	He started wildly thrusting up into her, and Elaine felt like she 
was in a rodeo.

	"Take it easy, Kramer!  If you buck me off I'm not getting back 
on."  Kramer was giving her a hell of a ride, but he was making it 
impossible for anyone else to join in.  Besides, she suspected that at 
this rate he would be finished in about ten seconds.

	"Sorry," said Kramer, and he managed to calm it down 

	"OK, George, you're next," said Elaine.  She leaned forward 
and supported herself by putting her hands on Kramer's shoulders.  
Behind her, she could feel George awkwardly shuffling into position.

	"OW!" said Kramer as George accidentally kneed him in the 


	Finally, Elaine felt the tip of George's cock pressing on her 
anus.  She pushed her rear end back towards him, and his modest tool 
was soon buried to the hilt in her ass.  She closed her eyes and enjoyed 
the new sensation of having both holes filled at once.  Then she felt 
something warm pressing on her lips, and she opened her mouth to let 
Jerry's cock fill up her last available orifice.

	The apartment was soon filled with moans, sighs, and cries of 
pleasure, as the tangled mass of human flesh pulsed, shook, and 
moved this way and that.

	Out of the corner of her eye, Elaine noticed Newman standing 
to one side and nonchalantly stroking his magnificent man meat, which 
was sticking straight out in front of him like a tree branch.  She thought 
it looked sturdy enough to hang his mail bag from.  

	Newman didn't look at all put out at being left out of the 
festivities; in fact, he still had a hint of a smirk on his face.  Elaine was 
suddenly obsessed with the idea of trying to get that giant cock into her 
mouth.  It was the challenge of it that appealed to her: it would be like 
trying to climb Mount Everest or swim the English Channel.

	She focused her attention on sucking Jerry's cock, trying to 
make him come.  She was quite skilled at this particular activity, and 
since she was Jerry's former girlfriend, she naturally knew just what 
worked best on him.  

	Before long, Jerry was moaning and grunting with pleasure.  
As he felt the orgasm starting to build in his loins, he happened to look 
over at Newman.  His nemesis was looking back at him with a 
mocking smile on his face, and with a flash of insight the comedian 
realized what was happening.  

	Desperately, he tried to back away from the brink, but it was 
too late.  "Newman," he thought to himself with disgust as he spurted 
his semen into the back of Elaine's throat.

	 "Amateur," said Newman softly to Jerry as he sidled over to 
take his place.  "Step aside and let a real man take over."  Jerry was too 
dispirited to reply.

	Now Elaine was facing her greatest challenge face to face.  She 
gamely opened her mouth as wide as it would go, and was just barely 
able to encircle her lips around the head of the beast.  Inch by inch, 
Newman's cock began to disappear into her mouth like a sluggish 
python returning to its den.  

	By opening her throat and fighting the urge to gag, she finally 
managed to get it about halfway into her mouth.  Her jaw ached from 
being opened so wide; she felt like a pig being roasted on a spit.  
Newman then began sliding it in and out, causing Elaine to make 
muffled gagging sounds.  Her eyes bulged out of her head, and saliva 
ran down her chin and made a puddle on the floor.  She was having the 
time of her life.

	For some reason, the sight of Elaine choking on Newman's 
giant cock was an incredible turn-on for both George and Kramer, and 
they began fucking harder and faster.  This had a synergistic effect:  
since their cocks were only separated by a thin membrane, each one 
was effectively stimulating the other with his own cock.  Soon they 
were both thrusting furiously.

	Of course, this was also providing a huge amount of 
stimulation to Elaine.  She let Newman's cock slide back out of her 
mouth, and concentrated on fucking Kramer and George.

	After a few more seconds of exponential buildup, George, 
Kramer, and Elaine had simultaneous, explosive orgasms.  The three 
of them then collapsed in a tangled, sweaty heap on the floor.

	As she caught her breath, Elaine saw Newman standing over 
her, his cock still ominously firm.  She knew she would never be able 
to do it justice with her mouth.

	"OK, Newman," she said, spreading her legs.  "Try not to 
damage any internal organs."

	Newman wordlessly pressed the head of the monster against 
the opening to Elaine's pussy.  Elaine felt a moment of pain as her love 
channel was spread wider than ever before, and then she moaned in 
ecstasy as it began sliding into her, deeper than seemed humanly 

	Newman began fucking her with long, smooth strokes of his 
magnificent manhood, giving Elaine orgasm after orgasm.  Finally, he 
let out a guttural groan and clenched his teeth; clearly he was close to 

	Elaine prepared herself to be tossed around like a rag doll by 
the force of Newman's orgasm, but at the last second Newman pulled 
out and stroked himself to climax over Elaine's stomach.  Thick ropes 
of semen sprayed out of his cock, coating Elaine's stomach, breasts, 
and face.  A few spurts of sprack even sailed as far as the couch, 
where they landed with a sodden thud.

	"My couch!" wailed Jerry.

	"That's what's called a 'money shot' in the adult film 
business," Kramer informed them.  "Old habits die hard, eh 

	"Sorry about that, Jerry," said Newman with transparent 

	Elaine wiped the semen out of her eyes and looked around.  
Kramer and Newman looked quite satisfied, but she sensed that 
George and Jerry felt a bit upstaged by Newman.  She felt a sudden 
rush of warmth and sympathy for them - they were terrific friends, 
despite their quirks.

	"You were all wonderful," she said, looking at George and 
Jerry in particular.  "We should do this again real soon."  	

	"Really?" asked George, hopefully.  "You aren't just saying 

	"Of course not," said Elaine with a contented smile.  "You guys 
are all superb cocksmen."

		The End

Like all authors, I appreciate getting feedback on my stories.  
Email me to tell me what you liked or didn't like, to give me 
suggestions for future stories, or to just let me know that 
you read it.
DG  (

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