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   Sub-Boy



   It started simply enough.  It was a simple response to a simple e-mail.
A desire was expressed...a need.  He is a Dom.  I have served Him often. 
She is my Mistress.  I serve Her always.  They are friends.  They have
switched before.  I witnessed one such meeting.

   I am sitting to the side this time.  I see as Mistress becomes
intrigued. I see the spark of interest in Her eyes.  I watch as She reads
His message.  A small smile plays at the corners of Her mouth.  She is
thinking...considering what He is offering.  He offers Himself to Her - on
Her terms.  She nods slightly to Herself.  I can see that She has accepted
His offer before She even speaks.  It begins.

   I had shown the first message to Mistress.  He had expressed what He
wanted and asked me to relay His request.  I had heard what He had not.  I
had heard the low chuckle rise from Her throat.  I know this sound.  I hear
it when the `mood' is on Her.  I hear it in my ear when She tells me how
She will torment me.  I hear it as She directs my movements.  I hear it as
She enjoys my body.  It is exciting, enticing, erotic...fearful.

   For a few days, I conveyed messages back and forth between Them.  He was
a bit casual at first but I could sense the underlying need.  Mistress
quietly read His words but I could sense Her interest grow.  It was because
of this that I reminded Him of something He often told me.  I humbly
suggested that He might want to `be careful what He wished for.'

   Several times, Mistress mused out loud.  She talked about what She might
expect of Him.  She spoke of the things She would like to do to His
body....His mind.  And when She spoke, I shivered as I knew He would have
if He had been able to hear and see Her.  To my mind, He was in for a
special treat.

   In the meantime, I was learning much.  Each e-mail between Them
presented an opportunity for discussion between Mistress and myself.  I was
not directly involved in this give and take.  I could imagine well what
went on His mind and body.  I watched as He became totally submissive to
Her.  The metamorphosis was amazing to observe..

   He continued to correspond with me but on an entirely different level
than He was with Mistress.  As far as I was concerned, He was still
`Master' and I was still `pet'.  I found myself wondering how He could
function on both levels.  He knew that I was aware of His impending visit.
He made known His desire for it to happen.  I could only agree that I was
anxious for it too.

   Mistress was giving Him assignments.  She told me what they were.  I
wondered to myself if She gauged His possible reactions to what She asked
by my own.  I wondered how I would have reacted if She asked the same
things of me.  What She required was humbling for Him.  I suspect that was
Her intention....to implant Herself firmly in His mind as His Mistress.

   There was much mention on both parts of a `hunger'....one that was
growing.  His was growing, that much was very obvious.  So, I asked (when
W/we were having a talk about the back and forth process) if Hers was truly
growing.  She thought for a moment before answering.  Hers was much
different than His.  She explained that what She enjoyed was being able to
bring a submissive to new levels of self-discovery.  She desired very much
to deliver that extra nudge that would expand their tolerance, their pain,
their pleasure...their limit.  She wanted to push them to push themselves,
thereby heightening their experiences with Her and knowledge of self.

   His most recent e-mail was just such a case in point.  She had required
Him to not only buy and wear a pair of women's panties, She had required
Him to take a picture of Himself wearing them and send it to Her.  He did.
In doing so, He realized that He liked wearing them...enjoyed the feel of
the soft material against His skin...enjoyed the way His cock was held by
them and jutted out the top of them.  He had not know this before.  She had
given Him something new, something that brought Him a thing He enjoyed.  He
may never have discovered this on His own.

   She smiled as She looked at the pictures.  I looked at Her eyes.  They
were kind.  She wasn't gloating.  She was glad for Him in that He had been
able to discover this about Himself.

   She composed Her response.  There was nothing quick or impulsive about
it .  She considered the effect of the words.  His cock had been hard when
the picture was taken.  It was obvious that something stirred Him.  Whether
it was the wearing of the panties, His thoughts as He fulfilled His
requirements, His anticipation of Their meeting, or a combination of these
things - or perhaps even things of which I wasn't aware - that caused His
arousal, I don't know.  I do know that Mistress was pleased and She told
Him so.

   She had decided on another assignment for Him.  It was one I knew She
wanted completed.  His response indicated that He was unable to comply
because of a physical problem.  She was most disappointed but not angry. 
She understood His reasons.  She told me it was never Her intent to cause
anyone any true harm.  I understood this.  Pain can be very stimulating in
many aspects but it should never cross that line where it damages someone.
She believes this very strongly.

   The e-mail She sent Him expressed disappointment but not displeasure. 
There is a vast difference between the two.  I thought how He might feel
when He read it.  I know from personal experience how awful I feel if I
cannot, for whatever reason, fulfill the desire of a Dominant.  I know how
frustrating it is.  I know the need to please and the inner pain that
results when I cannot.  I also know it makes me even more willing and
determined to find a way to fill the gap.  I wondered if this was how He
felt.

   The days pass.  She hasn't shared much of Her communications with Him
lately.  I understand and don't expect that I should be privy to it.  This
is between Them and this is how it should be.  I see Her open Her e-mail
sometimes.  I don't even look toward the computer when She does.  I feel
like it would be an intrusion even though She has never told me directly
not to read any of it.

   Often though, something in a communication will spark a discussion
between U/us.  This is an opportunity to observe something that I wonder if
many people have the chance to witness.  More and more now, I can
understand things from His perspective.  As He becomes ever more
submissive, my empathy grows.

   There is a new development.  He is still communicating with me as
Master. W/we talk of simple things but, now and then, He will relate
something that has to do with the two of Them.  Mistress is going to take
His willingness and determination to a different level.  From now until the
time of - and during - His visit as a sub, He is to consider Himself my
peer....not as a Dominant as far as I'm concerned.  She wants Him totally
in the mind-set of a submissive.  She wants Him to explore this as far as
He can so that He can get as much from the experience as is possible.

   I'm not sure who this is going to be more difficult for now.  He has
been gradually adjusting His frame of mind.  For me, this is sudden and
most unexpected.  I assume it will be easy enough to do but I already know
my mind will have trouble complying.  She tells me to call Him by His given
name.  She tells me to refrain from any suggestion of His dominance.  As
She suggests it, I wonder at the strange feelings it brings me.  I tell Her
that, of course, I will do as She tells me.  I know my reaction and can
only wonder what His will be.

   In my mind He is Master.  I don't know that I can alter that.  It is not
only habit to think of Him this way, it is the result of living the reality
of it.  Because it is what Mistress and He wish - this role reversal - that
I can go through the motions.

   I sent the first e-mail.  Instead of addressing him as Master, I have
used his given name.  It feels so very, very odd.  I have to keep
back-spacing to erase the capital letters I am so used to using when I
refer to him.  The familiarity is very alien.  It does not distress me but
I feel vaguely unsettled.

   Mistress and I both are curious as to his response.  He has complied. 
He has accepted Her terms willingly.  Mistress is pleased.  He has even
signed his e-mail with his nick-name.  He has used my name instead of my
pet name.  I smile inwardly as I recognize his submissiveness.

   He is coming to spend a little time with Mistress this afternoon.  It is
not going to be a b/d session.  Mistress has made that clear.  She wants
his mind completely prepared to submit.  She knows he is making steady
progress but knows he's not there yet.  She knows him well and still wants
to make this an extremely satisfying experience for him.  She wants him to
plumb the depths of his nature.

   I won't be here when he comes by.  I'm actually glad of that.  This is
between T/them.  I can't help but think that he wants to talk some of this
over with Mistress.  T/heir's is a unique relationship.

   I got home from work and Mistress talked with me for a little while
about his visit.  He did one of his assignments while he was here.  I saw
the four clothes pins on the computer desk.  He had worn the panties and
shown them to Her.  While She did not recount all the details of T/their
discussion, She did indicate that he was becoming more and more willing to
do all She asked.  Once again, it opened up new subjects for U/us to
discuss.  I have gained a little more insight into Her and the Dominant
mind-set.  I do not pretend to understand it but I see bit of the
tremendous amount of thought and consideration of detail involved.

   He has sent another e-mail to me.  In it he has expressed his
determination, his desire, to see this through.  He relates that he is not
worried about the outcome.  He discovers more about himself each day.  I
told him a little of my own self-awakening.  Whatever the destination, the
journey is the same.

   In the return mail from him, he reminds me that he told me much the same
thing several years ago.  Looking back, I understand that hearing the words
spoken and understanding their meaning are worlds apart.  Until it is lived
- felt in the mind and body - it can never be real.  He reminds me of the
invaluable willingness to trust and surrender.  I put the suggestion to him
that, perhaps, that is the thing he is dealing with now.  Does he trust
Mistress and himself enough?  Can he put himself, mind and body, into Her
most capable hands?  He knows Her well.  Is he ready?  I wait for his
reply.

   He tells me he does trust.  I understand.  It is the foundation of this
kind of relationship.  It stirs things in my own memory.  Talking about it
takes me forcefully back to my own first encounter as a submissive.  I
think back to how I trusted.  I think back to how that trust was broken and
wonder how I ever continued.  It was only my good fortune in meeting
Mistress that allowed me to continue.  I know first-hand about trust.

   Mistress and I continue to have more discussions.  It's as if O/our
journey mirrors his.  It is a journey in which the destination is
unimportant.  She has shown me some of Her reference books.  W/we gone
through a couple of them now...page by page.  It provides much material to
mull over and see how it applies to O/our own relationship.  It also serves
to reaffirm Her belief and shore up my doubt that there is anything wrong -
perverted- about it.  This is something I have struggled with and am still
occasionally concerned with.

   During today's look at one of the books, once section catches Her
interest.  Talk centers on the importance - or lack of same - of routine.
For some, expected circumstances and rigid rules seem necessary.  For
others, it is the excitement of never knowing quite what to expect while
maintaining some general ground rules.  W/we were discussing how this fit
into O/our situation.

   She explained that it is easier to manage spontaneity from a distance.
That is, in a relationship that is not 24/7 like O/our own.  She goes on to
say She has learned to judge my mood well.  I agree.  She also states that
I have learned to know what to expect and it is hard to catch me unawares.
I agree again and tell Her that is only to be expected when two people
spend so much time together, particularly when it come to any type of
intimacy.

   In the same tone of voice, She tells me there is something She knows I
like...and something She also enjoys.  She proved it in the next 15
minutes. She reached Her hand toward me, perhaps to touch my cheek I
thought, and grabbed a huge fistful of my hair.  She pulled my head back so
that I had to look at Her.

   She latched on to the other side of my head with Her free hand and
pulled me to my feet.  The sudden change in Her demeanor and the pain
involved made my head spin.  There was no time to think...only obey.  She
lead me across the room by my hair, pulling it hard so that I would follow.

   She backed me up against a wall and stood so that Her body was against
mine, pressing and holding me where I stood.  She let go of my hair and
reached under my shirt to take command of my nipples.  She gripped them
tightly, pinching and pulling hard.  I didn't know what to make of all this
and the pain was so intense I couldn't think anyway.  She worked both
nipples at the same time through all this....doubling the effect.  She
pulled them up high and jerked them.

   "Up...up on you toes." I was already on them I told Her. 
"Higher....higher." Her pull increased.  I didn't know I could stand on the
very tips of my toes until them.  I also didn't realize how excited I'd
become.  There was no time to think...only react.  She mauled my nipples.
She forced me back against the wall and then pulled me away from it over
and over.

   "Fly for me.  Are you flying...are you......ARE you....ARE you flying?"

   "Yes Ma'am...I am...I am." And I was.  This was so unexpected, so
intense, that my body reacted with the same fierce intensity.  What had
been a quiet conversation had erupted into a scene.  The twinge of fear I
had felt at the beginning had disappeared.  This was a side of Her I'd seen
very little of before.





   She continued to work me over and never let up the pressure.  Her voice
pounded at my ears as Her hands increased my pain.  In turn, I could only
try to keep up with Her insistent questioning that demanded answers.  After
I came, She relaxed Her hold on me.  Her hands left my breasts and She led
me back to the bed where it had all started.  Yes, She had indeed proved
Her point.

   She was asking me questions again but now in the quiet voice She had
used before.  She wanted my reactions and wanted to know that I was all
right.  I assured Her that I was fine.  I told Her that, yes, this had been
a very good experience and, yes, I would welcome similar scenes.

   So, once again, his journey has spilled over into my own.  I doubt that
he knows just how much.  I've told him that it has prompted an avenue for
Mistress and I to further O/our relationship.  Once he reaches the end of
his road, I will have to thank him heartily.

   More days go by.  He has accepted all of the assignments and continues
to do them.  One of them is very difficult for him, I think.  She has told
him there is something She would very much like to do to him...to expand
his experience....test his limits.  She wants to use the strap-on...on him.
She has given him instructions to acquire a soft butt plug and begin
introducing it into his body.  There have been a number of communications
between T/them regarding this prospect.  He tells Her there is some
difficulty because of a physical problem.  She had told him She understood
and was a little surprised when he told Her he still wanted to try.  He
bought a plug and began to use it.  He was having some trouble but was
determined to keep trying.  Mistress is pleased with him.

   W/we've been into one of the books again.  There is a piece that looks
at actual, physical submission.  It goes into depth on how to work up to
the moment of relinquishing control.  It speaks of a `circle'.  A circle is
fashioned in some way on the floor.  The potential sub puts one foot inside
it.  The foot is tormented.  The sub can withdraw it at any time with no
repercussions.  The request is made for the sub to put the other foot in
and pain is administered to it.  Bit by bit, the entire body is worked into
the circle.  Once the whole body is inside it, the sub has effectively
given their will over to the Dominant and the scene is underway.  Until the
sub was completely inside, there would be no restraints.

   Mistress asks me what I would think of such an approach.  I tell Her I
think it is an intriguing proposition.  I think it would be especially good
for a first time.  It would give the sub some confidence that, should they
want to back out - find this is not to their liking or not quite what they
thought it might be - it would be easier this way.  On the other hand, if
they find themself wanting more, it would take them gradually to a position
of acceptance and openness for whatever might happen once they were in the
circle and felt the first restraint go on.  She asked if I thought I might
like to try it.  I told Her that I was very interested in experimenting
with it.  Only time will tell if She practices it on me.  I hope She does.

   He is stopping by today for a visit.  It is not, however, `the' visit.
He has found something that has surprised him.  He has discovered that he
feels a need to communicate with Mistress.  He needs to see Her.

   I understand this.  I don't know how to explain it but the constant
contact -by whatever means- is important to the sub.  It is comforting.  It
is encouraging.  It is erotic.  It's all this but it





   truly a `need'.  One can't get enough.  One seeks the approval of the
Dominant.  It is deep-seeded.  It is intense.

   I'm not exactly nervous that he is coming by.  It's that sense of
something being off-center again.  I've adjusted to the correspondence
between us on its current level.  But, there is distance between us.  Face
to face, I doubt that I'll feel the same.  Mistress tells me that I'm to
let open the door for him when he arrives.

   His visit was most interesting.  I did open the door for him and then
went to sit by Mistress.  He seemed to have no difficulty relating to me as
a fellow sub.  His demeanor was very different.  Mistress and he talked
about many things - even swapped jokes.  There was surprisingly little talk
about anything to do with b/d or the Dom/sub relationship.

   I joined the conversation now and then.  But, I spent much of the time
trying very hard not to see him as Master.  I don't think it showed but I
could never quite let go of it.  I wondered often if he were in the same
boat.  He still had the same physical effect on me.  I wasn't really
surprised at that.  I had to bite back the `Sir' that constantly threatened
to escape my lips when I talked to him.  Much of that is habit I suppose.
But, that is who he is in my mind.  No matter how I try, I can't escape
that.

   As the time passed, it did become easier to talk and look at him.  It
didn't help, though, that moments from one scene or another kept popping
into my mind.  I finally decided that I would use them to simply compare
the difference in him as Master and sub.  I could be a little clinical in
that aspect.  I could sense more than see the change in his mind-set. 
There was nothing blatant....just a shift in attitude.

   She did give him another assignment.  She gave him one of the books
W/we'd been discussing and told him to read it.  She also gave him a butt
plug.  It was smaller and softer that the one he had gotten.  They talked
about it for a bit and decided this one would be easier for him to adjust
to.  Hearing this conversation left me feeling like I was intruding.  I
wondered how I would feel being in his place.  It occurred to me, though,
that I'd often been in that position.  T/they often discussed me during a
scene.  But, once again, it was him in a position as Dominant.  He also
showed Mistress the undies he wore.  She had him pull down his pants to
have a good look.  I believe he enjoyed showing Her.  He was demonstrating
his compliance and it was accepted.  For a sub, that is a wonderful thing.

   He gathered his things and left.  Mistress showed him to the door.  I
waited for the questions that were sure to come.  She asked what I thought.
I told Her and that prompted yet another discussion.  This has been a most
enlightening experience so far.

   Much has been going on during the last few days.  E-mails have been
flying back and forth with increasing regularity.  He continues to perform
his assignments and reports regularly.  He's been reading the book Mistress
gave him.  He tells Her that, yes, he is familiar with many things he's
read about.  He tells Her how he has used many of the same techniques in
scenes he has orchestrated.  He tells Her he understands what he reads.

   She tells him that he has not read the book as She intended.  He is
looking at it as a Dominant and that's exactly the opposite of the view She
wishes him to take.  She tells him to take the part of the sub mentally as
he reads and try to understand what's going on in the mind.





   He takes the instruction well and continues reading.  Fifty more pages
into the book, he begins to realize what She means.  Perhaps he begins to
understand.

   More e-mails and he has come to another bump in the road.  He reports
that, while wearing the clothes pins, he masturbated himself to orgasm. 
Mistress is extremely displeased.  She did not give him permission for
this....and he knows much of the importance of permission.  She tells him
what She thinks and he takes a bit of exception to the things She says.  He
doesn't quite understand why.  He tells Her how he handles his subs in
similar situations.  She reminds him that he is now Her sub and She doesn't
do things the same way he does.  She also reminds him, in no uncertain
terms, that he is not in a position of dominance now.

   There seems to be an impasse.  Mistress wonders aloud if he has come to
the end of his journey.  T/their communications pick up speed and She
explains and he defends.  I begin to see transition on his part.  Mistress
stands Her ground, telling him that he must have permission in the future
and this will be given as She sees fit.  He responds with some humility and
presents a long list of questions for Her decisions.  They cover many
aspects of daily life.  She finds some of them a bit amusing and realizes
some are important to maintaining Her role of dominance.

   I see them a little differently.  I can imagine myself putting that list
together.  I can imagine myself thinking `okay, if She wants to run things,
let Her run everything'.  I can imagine a sassy little attitude.  Of
course, the distance makes it safer.  Mistress cannot see into his eyes as
he composes his questions.  She doesn't seem to view it as I have and I may
well be wrong.  But, in the back of my mind, are memories of him demanding
that I wait for his permission in every scene.  I remember his instructions
before-hand.  I remember his insistence that everything be done to his
specifications.  I wonder how he can pretend to feign ignorance.  But, then
again, I may be very wrong.

   It appears now that all the ruffled feathers have been soothed.  The
roles have been re-established and reinforced by all that has happened. 
His compliance seems to be coming more easily for him.  He also seems to be
relishing the assignment regarding the butt plug.  It has become easier for
him to do.  He even masturbated while it was in...but did not climax.  He
describes performing his assignments in detail and Mistress is pleased with
his progress.

   His e-mails to me have nearly stopped.  I rather expected that to
happen. He is caught up in all his new discoveries and has focused, as he
should, on the development of his relationship with Mistress.  She has
asked me frequently is I feel threatened or left out, or if I have any
negative feelings or thoughts.  I have assured Her that I do not.  I've
given it much thought as I've sat on the side-line of this exchange.  I'm
relieved that I can tell Her that and truly mean it.

   Mistress has posed an interesting question.  What if he decides that he
wants to be a sub full-time?  What if he doesn't want to Dom anymore?  What
if he discovers that his submissive side is strongest and wants to stay in
that role?  How would I feel if he were never to Dom me again?

   I thought about this for a few minutes.  If, indeed, he finds the need
and desire to be submissive stronger than to Dominate, then that is what he
must do.  If I've learned anything, it's that one's nature - once brought
to the light of day - will never really let itself slip back into



   oblivion.  It will nag and gnaw until it is either released or it
destroys the mind in which it dwells.  If it is what satisfies and fulfills
him the most, then he should make no effort to deny it.  As to any further
activity between he and I as Dom/sub, if it is at an end..it's at an end.
That I've enjoyed my times with him, I won't deny.  I do, however, remind
Mistress that I am Hers on a 24/7 basis and She has assured me many times
that this will not change.  She has made me feel very secure where that is
concerned.  I rest comfortably with Her and Her unending care of me.  In
short, he needs to go in the direction that suits him best.  I respect and
like him as a person.  I would hate to see him choose the path that didn't
suit him best.

   He's becoming more anxious now for his session with Mistress to take
place.  This is no surprise.  His hunger grows and I know about that hunger
all too well.  All it knows how to do is grow until it is fed...and fed
well.  Mistress sends Her response.  She explains that, because of the very
drastic attempt he is making to alter his mind set, it needs to take some
extended time.  He responds that he understands.  But, I think, in the back
of his mind, he doesn't care.  I don't mean that he doesn't believe that to
be true.  I don't mean that he doesn't appreciate the time Mistress is
taking with him.  I mean only that the hunger, at some point, becomes
obsession.  It dominates daily life.  It is often the first thought in the
morning and the last at night.  It becomes not just a physical need but
also a mental one...and the mind is stronger than the body.

   I received an e-mail from him tonight.  He apologized for a decided lack
of communication with me.  There was no need to say he was sorry.  Somehow,
I knew it would happen.  He also said he had trouble communicating with me
in the way Mistress directed....mainly because he never had before.  I
understand that, too.  I have the same difficulty and told him so.  While I
will be present when the session does happen, it will not be between him
and me directly.  It will be Mistress and him...as it must be.

   He continues to do his assignments and report on them very regularly. 
It is obvious now that he is doing all he can to get his mind where
Mistress knows it must be for him to get the most from this.  I know
because it's plain he's been spending a lot of time at internet sites with
pictures of men and their Mistresses.  He has begun sending Her pictures
from them.  She has shown some of them to me.  I wonder if these are things
he imagines She would do to him...or things he is afraid She might do...or
things he wants Her to do.  He has expressed his desire for serious
bondage. Mistress has an idea for a way to accommodate his need.

   She has a Dom friend who is very good at that sort of thing.  I know Him
also and know first-hand of His particular talents.  I believe this type of
rope bondage is just what he seeks.  Mistress presented the possibility of
having the Dom present for this aspect.  Depending on how each of T/them
feel about the Male/male part, She would like for it to happen.  As far as
I know, each has only been in male/female Dom/sub role.  This opens up even
more opportunity for him to expand his willingness to submit.

   She emailed both of T/them about the prospect.  There has been no real
objection from either.  The idea fascinates me.  I can almost hear the
wheels turning in his mind.  I have learned something I think he has not.
And, maybe, it's something that applies only to me given that everyone has
their own take on things.  I've learned that b/d, for me at least, has
little to do with gender.  Ropes, whips, clamps and clips........these
things are neither male nor female.  If he can free his mind enough to know
this, his experience will be very full indeed.





   He's coming by to visit Mistress again.  He definitely needs the contact
with Her and, I suspect more than that, some sign of approval.  I think he
is wanting to prove to Her his sincerity and determination.  I won't be
present and, again, I think that's a good thing.

   Mistress told me some things about his time with Her today.  T/they
talked again of many things.  He did his assignments so that She could
watch him...or so that he could watch Her watch him perhaps.  One thing he
did, though, got Her attention.  Before he left, he came to Her, knelt at
Her feet, and put his head in Her lap.  She told me She thought this was
the `first truly submissive thing' he had done.  I had to agree with Her.
This humility, I thought, was new.  To this point, while he did the things
She assigned him, I could still see and hear `Master'.  And, though I
didn't witness this, I could picture it.  I could also feel that sense of
peace I hope he felt as She touched his head.

   And then there was the paddle.  I reminded him early on to be careful
what he wished for.  In an e-mail, he expressed curiosity about it...how it
felt.  It's no small thing.  It's wood and nearly two feet long, at least
half an inch thick, and has holes all along it.  She talked him into
receiving one swat with it.  It lands heavy and hard.  She talked him into
a little something else.  She can be so very persuasive.  She took out the
strap-on and introduced it into him.  She only held it in Her hand when She
inserted it into him.  I think this was a really big step.  Large in that
it definitively reinforced Her dominance and his willingness to accept Her
will.

   W/we had a visitor last night.  The rope Dom came by and Mistress
discussed Her plans for `sub-boy'.  She showed Him once of the pictures She
had received and asked if that would be a possibility.  He told Her it
wouldn't be any problem at all.  They talked about humiliation aspects.  I
could just picture this large man barking out His comments at the nearly
naked sub...the one wearing only white, lacy, women's panties.  I wondered
if the e-mail that contained that particular picture would end up having as
much impact as the one that started this whole thing.  This position would
have him `available' for Mistress to use Her strap-on.  They continued to
discuss some of the particulars.

   I found myself paying close attention.  I put myself mentally in the
position in which he was likely to find himself.  I was aware that I was
beginning to feel I was almost his representative.  I knew Mistress would
sound me out later regarding Her plans.  She can gauge somewhat by my
thoughts how it might be for him.  I wanted to be very careful with
everything I said.  I knew nothing rested on my take on things but that
didn't mean She wouldn't listen and take what I had to say into
consideration.

   The days continue to pass.  T/they correspond frequently every day.  I
have begun to sense a subtle change in him.  The need for contact with Her
grows as does the need to know She is satisfied with his progress.  It has
gone well past curiosity....past wanting to know....past clinical
observation.  It has become true `need'.  His physical reactions have gone
deeper, too.  There are still all the aspects of desire, want, passion and,
of course, release.  But, here too, I think the dimension of `need' has
crept into him.  Once he realizes this, there will be no need to question
his willingness to submit.

   The last few days have brought him much further along.  For a day and a
half, Mistress was not able to contact him.  It was only a computer glitch.
I continued to receive e-mails from





   but those from Mistress weren't going through.  Once the problem was
resolved, he learned another valuable lesson.  He had come to understand
the great void a sub feels when he/she does not have regular communication
with their Dominant.  It seemed to come as a great surprise.  I told him I
understood completely.  I also replied to him using his new `sub name'. 
The fact that he felt that void told me more clearly than any words could
that his mind was fully into it now.

   W/we have had a most interesting day.  He came by for another visit.  I
was present this time as was the rope-Dom and His female sub.  When he
knocked on the door, the Dom and His sub had already started T/their
session.  I let him and stood aside to take in what was going on.  He went
immediately to Mistress's feet, knelt, and put his head in Her lap.  The
blindfolded sub was yelping as her nipples were being tormented.  Mistress
ran Her fingers through his hair and T/they exchanged greetings.  Each
P/pair were absorbed in separate things and I watched with fascination. 
Introductions were made.  T/they discussed the male/male aspects.  The Dom
set down His rules and what His part would, and would not, be.  There was
agreement

   Mistress had a couple things She wanted done before He returned to His
sub.  I already had my `slut' collar on.  I was told to get the other one
and he was to put it on.  This one is red and has `pet' embroidered on it.
It's the one I generally wear during a session with him.  She requested
that He get out a couple pair of His metal handcuffs and a pair of steel
leg shackles.  Sub-boy and I each had our hands cuffed behind us.  One leg
shackle went on his ankle and the other was put on mine.  Of necessity, we
sat close together...on the floor.  I wondered if it felt as strange for
him as it did for me.  I had never been quite on this level with him
before. We were directed to exchange thoughts as the session continued.

   There was also a most interesting undercurrent.  I had a few moments to
talk to the female sub before anything began.  We were talking about the
other `sub' that would be arriving.  After talking a few minutes, she had
the thought that she might know him....might even have had a session with
him...and me.  Shortly after the cuffs were on us, he whispered in my ear
that he knew her.  He reminded me - unnecessarily - that I knew her also.
He and I were the only ones sure of this for the moment.  I hadn't
recognized her face because I'd only had a glimpse of it.  I did, however,
recognize her sounds.

   I wondered how he was feeling about this development.  I wondered how it
felt for him to have topped both of us and now to be sitting on the floor
with me...knowing the moment would come when her blindfold would come off
and she would certainly recognize him.  I watched him as he watched T/them.
I wasn't sure which one he watched more closely.

   The session came to an end.  Our bonds were removed.  Good-byes were
said and T/they left.  Mistress turned Her attention to us.  She began
questioning us regarding what we experienced during the time T/they were
here.  We then told Her that we knew the other sub.  After She got over the
surprise, She had even more questions.  Yes, it had excited both of us. 
Yes, he had been watching the Dom a great deal.  Yes, he watched her.

   She told him it was time for him to do his assignments.  He gathered
what he needed.  As he did, She told me to get two sets of nipple clamps, a
strap, and a flogger.  He stripped.  He pulled out four clothes pins and
moved to apply them.  Mistress interrupted when She told me that I was to
put them on him.  But, first, I was to remove my clothes.  I hadn't
expected to have any part in this.  I looked at Her when She told me to put
the pins on him.  She knows this kind of thing is hard for me to do but Her
look was determined.  I put one on each of his nipples.  The next two were
to go on his balls....which he had already tied up.  I put them on him and
stood back.  Mistress directed him to return the favor to me.  He put a
clover clamp on each of my nipples and a smaller clip on each of my cunt
lips.  Then She told us to kneel side by side and face Her.

   She alternated between us.  Her piece of cane went back and forth
between nipples and genitals.  I heard his small groans of pain and then
mine would echo his.  She finally had him stand so I could suck his stiff
cock.  She worked the butt plug in and out of him as I worked his cock in
and out of my mouth.  He came hard and moaning and filled my throat with
his cum.  She had a treat for me, too.  He was directed to make me cum at
least three times with his tongue before he would be allowed to take off
his pins or untie his balls.

   I'm sure it was a combination of him wanting to end his pain and the
effects the day had on both of us that made me cum so fast and hard. 
Before I knew it, he had brought three orgasms and I was on my way to a
fourth when Mistress told him he was finished.  He had removed the clamps
from me and I was to take his off for him.  My hands shook as I did.  I
hadn't had time to catch my breath.  The day's activities were done. 
Mistress talked to us a little longer as our bodies settles down.  What a
day this had been.  He dressed and said his good-bye to Mistress.

   Mistress had many questions for me.  W/we talked at length about the
day's events...particularly the coincidence of the role-reversal between
him and the other sub.  Once I had realized who she was, I began to pay
very close attention to him.  I wondered immediately where he would focus
his attention.  At first, I got the impression he payed watched the Dom and
perhaps His techniques most closely.  I saw his gaze go more and more
frequently to her.  I can't interpret whether he was more focused on her
from a sexual view or from his own present submissive role.  I think it was
a combination.  I related all my thoughts to Mistress.

   More days passed complete with many e-mails.  He was beginning to
discover the emotional side of things now.  His logical, precise mind has
bumped into feelings he has discovered.  He begins to equate feeling with
emotion and is caught a bit off-guard in the realization that there is any
emotion involved.  There are a multitude of emotions involved.  Up until
now, he has categorized them simply as feelings....the physical ones. 
Emotion is a much more personal word and it seems that just using that word
has greatly impacted his thoughts.  I tell him basically that logic simply
does not apply to any of this.  From a rational standpoint, in fact, it
makes no sense at all.  One by one, his communications show he is beginning
to understand that there is no understanding.  I tell him that I've learned
that it is a matter of acceptance of one's self - as hard as that might be.
I also relate that, in order to fully experience this, one has to let go of
logic.  At least, that's what has worked for me.

   Mistress continues to communicate with him.  She encourages him at every
turn to explore his feelings.  She introduced to him the concept of
vulnerability.  It seemed to come as another surprise to him.  That he has
come to allow himself to depend on someone else to such a degree has,
indeed, left him at Mistress's mercy.  That he needs to hear from Her and
seek Her approval often is real to him now.  That he is not in charge and
has to sit by and wait is real to him.  That he is most strongly effected
by what She says is real to him.

   He came by today for another visit.  I was here this time, too.  He came
in and placed his





   head in Mistress's lap.  It became a most pleasant day of conversation.
W/we even went out for lunch.  There was much in the way of small talk and
a lot of joke-telling.  W/we were back home before there was much to do
with his new position.

   Mistress decided it was time for his assignments.  He took off his pants
and I could barely suppress a chuckle when I realized his panties were
almost exactly like the ones I was wearing...red and lacy.  I was amused at
his wearing them but at the coincidence.  He took off the rest of his
clothes.  As he did so, Mistress directed me to get a large towel and
spread it out under the ceiling hooks.  I knew then that there would be
more than his assignments going on.

   He tied his balls and the clothes pins were put on.  I was sent to get
the box of toys.  The wrist and ankle restraints were put on him, followed
by the blindfold.  I got a long piece of rope and the stepladder for
Mistress.  Per Her instructions, I climbed the ladder and tied one end of
the rope to the ceiling and one wrist cuff.  I wound it through the ankle
restraints and back up to other wrist cuff and then to the other ceiling
hook.

   Mistress began to work Her magic on him.  She cut him no slack today. 
He lash fell hard on his body.  She did not spare his nipples or cock.  His
body went rigid as the little piece of cane tap, tap, tapped on his most
sensitive parts.  His moans grew louder but he didn't resist.  Even though
I couldn't make out much of what She whispered to him, his body told me he
relished Her words.  She flogged his thighs, back, and ass.  His moans were
very loud now and his body swayed with the blows.  I saw his hands tighten
on the rope that held him and his head lowered nearly to his chest as the
pain washed over him.  Still, he did not resist.  This was the farthest I'd
seen him go.

   I wondered if he'd entered `sub-space'.  I knew what I would be feeling
and wondered if he was there.  Did he just want it to stop?  Did he want to
see just how far he could go?  Did he not want to lose face by `redding'
out?  Or was his entire being into it?

   Mistress pointed to the candle and I went into the kitchen to light it.
I hoped he wouldn't hear the click of the lighter.  Surprises are
wonderful. I held it while some of the wax melted.  Mistress took it from
me and I watched as the first spray of hot wax spattered across his back. I
watched him arch in surprise as the bits of wax burned his tenderized skin.
She let more wax build up and sprayed over him.  She did this many times
and he nearly danced as She proceeded.

   As She continued, I was directed silently to kneel in front of him and
suck his cock.  He reacted quite strongly as one might expect.  She did not
stop what She was doing.  After continuing this for awhile, She had me
release him from the rope.  She had him lay on the bed on his back.  I
resumed my position between his legs and She worked his nipples and chest
as he reached his climax.

   It had turned into quite a session.  But, as it turned out, it was to be
the last one with him as sub....at least for the time being.  The other Dom
ran into some physical problems that necessitated that aspect on hold for a
good while.

   But, he had discovered much from this one.  He had allowed himself to be
taken very far into it and experienced just how rewarding that can be.  He
had come to know how strong his submissive side was.  He wondered, if he
could find a Mistress on a more permanent basis, if





   just might be where he would be pulled most strongly.  Perhaps he has
just as many questions now as when he started.  If this is so, however, I
think maybe the questions have changed.  `Do I want this?  may be replaced
by `how much do I want this?'.  `Can I do this?' may become `can I do this
more often?' `Can I submit?' may become `can I relinquish?' I'm sure there
are very many more.

   On a long road that seems to start with one objective there are many
branches.  Sometimes one can wonder down one of them and never find out
what other directions are available.  Sometimes, one is lucky enough and
willing enough to explore as many as they come across.