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 A girl growing up Libertine Part 1

   Authored by Shyla edited and posted by Derkojote

   This story is intended as a work of fiction, any resemblance to people
pleases or events that are real are purely coincidence.  The author of this
story sent it to me to fix some grammar and spelling issues, and to post it
for her.  I try to keep it as she wrote it, making only changes to the
grammar or phrasing or spelling.  I'm not good at the spelling thing though
my self so be warned.  Enjoy it though and if you have feed back or
comments send them C/O this web page and they will forward them.  I thank
you for any constructive comments as will the author.

   (M/f, M/m, b/d, s/m, bie, cons, dom, inc, Mdom, teen, pt)

   Hello, this is my first time righting a story for others to read, and as
far as I know the only one written by one of our community (original
Libertines) that is about our community.  I know what some may think, but
While Marquis de Sade was entertaining, he was not actually a member of our
community, and was mistaken about many aspects of the Libertine way of
life, weather by accident, or for artistic flourish he was mistaken and way
over exaggerated on many points about our People, Families and life style.
Some of the things he talked about where true, but it is hard to know fact
from fiction unless you grow up living it.

   I know that to some, the life I was raised in may seem odd, harsh and to
some depraved but to them I say this.  I come from a town with a 3% crime
rate no drug problem, no kidnappings or violent crime like you see in any
other cities of equal size, and in our town the divorce rate is at an all
time high due to the influx of oil workers, its at 2%.  I grew up
comfortably, and happy, with a loving family and while some may think I was
abused I say I am lucky to have bin raised in such a loving and nurturing
environment, a please where community means what it once did, People
working together to ensure the common good now and for the future.  I see
how children behave so badly when we do go to the city, and they are
committing such horrible crimes at younger and younger ages, and yet they
call our way of life wrong.  In other places people seem to have excuses
for every type of wrong thing they do, and rather then just own up and take
responsibility they fiend any number of ways to make it some one else's
problem, and this attitude even carries over to the raising of your
children.

   Just try to understand, to see your selves as we see you before you
judge us and try to assume you know what is best for those you do not
understand.  We do not presume to berate others or change them.  In return
I will tell you all of my life as "A girl growing up Libertine".

   I am Shyla; I am the 6th child in a family of 8 kids.  From oldest to
youngest they are, Jonathan (28 and a Master with 2 kids), Roasa (age25 and
a Mistress with one girl and a second child on the way), Alexander (age 23
he is in the military and is engaged to a wonderful American girl who is
also in the military), Nicolas (age19, he has chosen to going off to
collage he will be leaving soon), Bridgett (Nicolas's twin also 19 and just
married off), me (age 18), then Patricia (age 12 and though still a fluffer
expecting to have her coming of age soon) and Patrick (age10).  For the
most part we are all red heads, although Alexander, Rosa and Mamma have all
got more strawberry blond hair.  And Papa and Nicky have blue eyes, the
rest of us have green or hazel.

   As I am telling you this I am coming of age to be married, and I am
hoping to be planning my wedding soon.  I will soon be, as you say
Betrothed to a man from the US who is a business partner of my
father/Master, though I have never met him he is vary familiar with our
ways, and my father/Master and mother/Mistress are both helping him learn
more, and he is I am told anxious to live here and be a part of our family.
Yes it is a big family to some but not as big as many others in the Family
are.  My father/Master's family was 10 kids and my mother/Mistress was 12
kids.  I hope to have as many some day, and be as attentive and loving as
my mother/Mistress is.

   Now I suppose I should explain to you some things you may not know about
our community so you will understand what I am talking about.  For
instants, you see I use two titles for my parents.  This is how we are
taught to refer to them unless in mixed company in this case we just use
Mother or Father, or if we are in the training and punishment room that is
our basement, then they are just Master or Mistress.  My Father is my
Master.  He owns me as he would any thing that was his property.  My Mother
is my Mistress and is in charge of the domestic running of the house and is
responsible for the day to day training and most punishing and servicing of
the kids (the term we use for multiple children in a family does not
translate the same but is loosely translated to Stable but I will use the
more common sayings to cause less confusion.) I am not allowed, normally to
refer to my self in the first person or use a capital letter for my name or
even in* I *.  They must normally be lower case till I am wed and have
conceived my Masters/husbands first child and then I am considered a
Mistress and have earned that distinction, but as I am using this as a way
to practice my English I am being allowed to.  I do hope it does not offend
any of my pears and that any other Masters or Mistress will understand.

   I must now explain some key fraises I need, in reference to ages and
positions of boys and girls throughout our community.  First boys and girls
are born as equals and remain so till they reach puberty, they are referred
to as fluffers when not in mixed company, or just as normal if out in
public or when entertaining mixed company, but then when they reach puberty
then they diverge in name, training, and positions in the family and in the
community.  A boy entering puberty usually at about 10 or 12 in our family,
they are now referred to as slave/name, (i.e.  slave Jonathan) and they
begin to learn how to be a Master and a good provider for their eventual
"Family".  At puberty boys are above girls in standing amongst the
community, expectations are higher for them.  They go to collage, Military,
receive high paying jobs.  Unless a mistress, all girls are second to any
slave and must obey them regardless of age.  If my younger brother wants me
to feed, bath, cloth, or service him in any other way "service=pleasure
him" I must do so unless it goes against some thing my Master or Mistress
say or against a standing rule made for the house or our community, for
instants he may not take a girls maidenhead, I.e., her virginity unless it
is his child, or he is allowed to by the girl's Master, or he may not make
a nether do his homework or chores, these are just some examples.  A girl
entering puberty is no longer really a person in many respects, but rather
is more like the property of her parents, in many ways she will have a
lesser standing in her family then a family pet.  This sounds bad to some
but remember, back only a few decades when the family dog did more to help
the family then a young girl.  Yet she is vary important, and receives much
attention and special training from her family.  She needs to be prepared
and trained to some day be a Mistress and be able to service and please her
Master/husband as befits a proper Lib, Women of good standing.  She is
refund to in the community as Bitch/name (I.e., Bitch Shyla) till she has
given birth, and as before we are refer to only by name in mixed company.

   Now in both cases boys and girls reaching puberty is a big event, like a
birthday but bigger.  Since we are not allowed to masturbate without
permission usually it is the Mistress who fiends that a fluffer is becoming
sexually mature (For Thoes who may not know this is when a girls vagina
produces lubricant enough to be entered or when a boys cum shows semen in
it, it seems westerners either forget by choice or by design that they even
as a child where sexually aware and curious, and capable of feelings and
even creating some fluids from there gentles while they explored them) then
a big party is planed and family from all around and many other s from the
community are invited over, the child is given their family crest (I.e., a
tattoo applied to the base of the neck on the right side, that denotes they
are owned by the Master/father, this is added to as they grow up and
achieve other goals.  At the height of the party if it's a girl's her
Master/father then takes her to his bed or he may give the privilege to a
nether.  If it's a boy his Mistress/mother may take him, but in some
families like mine, he can choose a nether to be his first.  This choice is
given to him to reinforce his standing as nearly being Man in the
community.

   From family to family there may be some differences.  Some may be even
harsh by our standards.  One practice still in use is the use of the
specially bred Irish wolfhound mastiffs that are trained for this use and
to guard live stalk and property.  A troublesome girl may fiend herself
being given to the large mail dog as his bitch for a night or more
depending on the offence.  She must live with him as his bitch in all
respects, sleep eat bathe go to the bathroom and even have sex if he
chooses.  To try to resist is to be bitten by him, as he will show who's
boss and dominate the girl.  I have had this treatment before and will talk
about it more later.  This may sound harsh to some but it is used sparingly
and to remind a vary unruly or self-absorbed bitch of her proper place.  It
works vary well and though I would not hesitate to use this on a girl who
was in need of it, I would refrain if I could fiend a nether way, but as I
would just be Mistress my Master/husband would have final say of cores.

   I'd like to take a moment to dispel a few bad misnomers.  First, We do
have incest regularly but vary rarely are children born from this as all
females are kept on birth control by our masters unless they choose to have
us bare a child.  And I do not know of any birth defects attributed to this
in any way in any of the community.  For the most part this is all roomer
or exaggerations, which are reinforced by the church, and state to keep
incest and thus birth rates down.  The repeating chromosome theory is just
as likely to happen in Non incestuous offspring as any other.  Next we do
not kidnap or kill for sexual gratification.  While in the past this may
have occurred at some point as referenced by Saud in his story "Memwars of
Justieen" one need only look at the news to see that it is more common
outside our community then in it.  Now it just does not happen.  Infackt we
are vary much against hurting children like that.  Just from a practical
sense, why waist the resource, or make them useless to enjoy later?  As for
child porn the child is the Masters property and his to use as he sees fit.
Some families do use it to supplement the families income, and some make
enough to be the only income, but some feel it is degrading to the Childs
family, and they must always be weary of some one recognizing them later in
life, or a potential suetter feeling the potential girls worth is to
degraded because of the porn they where used in.  Regardless, boy must have
a good standing with his pears to be a Master of any standing and respect,
and a girl's value to her family and community can be damaged as well. 
These things are considered carefully before hand.  While I do not know of
any family that does not have privet scrap books not unlike only other
family and we almost never where clothing indoors so by default we are
naked in most thus it could be considered porn but is not to us.  I have
posed for many sessions at my family's studio and they are fun and for our
family's use only.

   We have a healthy respect for life and are as a community an offshoot of
the Orthodox Church thus not inclined to take a life unless it is necessary
to protect or defend our way of life thus in that respect we are no
different then any one ells.  Many of the Men of the community as well as
some Masters are in the military and my family does have a long and
distinguished history of service in the military.  But we do not go around
killing for pleasure.

   One other thing of note that is a common practice amongst many families
in the community is, no one under 19 (not a mistress or a Master) and in
side there home may wear clothing with out permission from there Mistress,
or Master.  Some times we can where a robe if its cold or we are sick, but
if we are in the house for any length of time we must be naked.  For us its
not even a rule though we just don't.  It is considered a sign of falls
pride and that can be punishable.  We also do not allow body peersings as
they can interfere with bondage practices.  So as you may note, if you are
looking at our life stile from an objective point of view, our rules are
more practicably base and many date back hundreds of years.  Some are older
then any country in Europe from whence we came.  Well now on to the story.
I am sorry if I got side tracked, but I do hope it will be worth it to you.
I am sure that if I cannot at the least entertain I shell enlighten and
perhaps even foster some understanding where there was not some before.  So
here we go Enjoy.

   I am a red head, fair skin and green eyes, now I am 5'4" and 110lbs.  My
Master is 6'9" 158lbs with black hair and gray eyes.  Mistress has red hair
blue/green eyes and is 140lbs and 5'4".  Jonathan is 6'8" and about 180lbs.
Roes is 5'6" 122lbs and has black hair and green eyes.  Nicolas is 6' and
145 lbs he has red hair and gray eyes.  Bridget is 5'5" and 125 lbs with
red hair and gray eyes.  And little Patrick has red hair though a bit blond
in the sun, and gray eyes he is only 12 now but a little doll, he has vary
feminine features like long thick lashes and such good skin and facial
features, he is more partial to showing affection toward the other mails in
the family and is more playful and gets along better with the girls.  We
are sure he is gay, but in our community we do not have any of the problems
with gay or lesbians that others do.  Gay and Lesbians are not ostracized
but are just considered a third sex.  Not any better or worst then mails or
Females.  In fact some of the most influential elders are gay or lesbian,
as that can bridge the gap between the sexes and think as both so are
sought for their insight.  This will have bearing further in the story, but
for now I just wanted to give you an Idea of who we are, and what we all
look like so you can sort of put a face to the names.

   I was 6 when I began my training as a fluffier.  I was shown how to
pleasure others using my mouth and hands, as well as how my body worked and
what I could and could not do.  How I could gain pleasure as a
pre-pubescent child with out hurting my self and when it was ok and not ok.
I learned about sex and love and pain and pleasure, and how they can become
one in the same.  I know many say a child does not have any concept of
their sexuality, but I say, then why is common knowledge that children
begin exploring them selves as early as 1 year old.  I know I was curious
and I cannot say how comforting it was that I was able to have such help,
and guidance in my explorations.  I was able to avoid much of the misguided
poking and prodding, and all of the uncomfortable stigma that hurts
children and effects them for life because I was able to openly talk about
it and explore it with those that I felt moats comfortable with and they
did not have to feel awkward about helping.

   Now lets get to some of the other less saver rumors of our lifestyle. 
Lets deal with some of these by describing a typical day in our house.  And
we will do a typical week day so you can see how they normally play out,
our week ends usually are far from normal since the kids usually get the
weekends to do what they want to, unless the Papa ses otherwise or
something is going on like the annual "family gatherings" which are a
chapter all unto them selves.  See I know how many think our lives must
revolve around sex, and they don't, just around the sexes and our rules are
not set up to promote sex rather to promote the sexes and the Nature given
roles of each.  Sure some aspects of our lifestyle are set to extremes, but
this is so that we get the most out of it.  We are a tactile Species and
need the stimulation life on the edge to keep us sharp and in our best
mental and physical shape.

   Now by Life on the edge I feel I need to say that while we do things
that some see as dangerous we also train from nearly birth to do them and
we are in better shape then most people.  So while I may have my Master tie
me up nearly bent in half hog tied with my legs spread wide and a good 3-4
feet off the ground, Pleas remember I am in excellent shape and am well
stretched and have a good diet to help promote good strong blood flow and
Papa, (Master as He is known when we are being punished or trained), is an
expert with knots and ropes and has ben doing it for a long time and he was
taught by an expert to who in turn was also, and so on ext, So not just any
one should go out and start trying to do this stuff, OK!?  Some people need
to be told the obvious, and reminded that while it may look fun, and
usually is, it can maim, hurt, or kill if it is not dun right.  So as they
say "Don't try this at home, we are what you would call, Experts".  So now
a typical Weekday usually starts at about 4 AM in most houses.  And goes
till we are off to bed at usually about 9 to 10 PM for the kids.

   Mamma gets up first, some times Papa will be awake and she will service
him as he directs her to.  Then She will go and make coffee, and then will
get the girls up, (me, and my sister) and we will all go and get ready for
the day.  Some times we will shower together, more often then not, washing
each other from head to toe to both ensure cleanliness, this sometimes
includes a deush or enema as needed or directed by our Master or Mistress.
Mamma will some times use this time to check my little Sister for maturity,
She will pinch and or rub her clit to see if the lips part and or if they
produce lubricant.  We all will inspect each other for any lumps, bumps,
molls, spots, or other oddities that may be preludes to an ailment or cause
injury during any sessions in training.  While us girls clean up the
bathroom Mamma will go to have a cup of coffee, sometimes papa will join
her.  After, Mamma will go back up and see that we have cleaned well and,
what if any thing Papa has decided she will wear for the day.  If nothing
is laid out on the dresser for her she will either stay naked or dress, as
she thinks fit for her days chores.

   Now notice I did not indicate at any time that either me or my sister
have gotten dressed, girls are not allowed to be dressed in the house
unless its cold and then we can only have a robe, or if we have company
over that is not Lib, then we dress as needed.  If we have school then of
cores we dress.  Girls that are not mature are usually allowed to dress as
seen fit by the Mistress of the house so some times my sister has PJs on or
just panties, some times she is naked.  Boys may dress if they are going to
school or work, and may remain so for the day, as the Master, or if he is
gone, the Mistress, sees fit.

   Now after getting dressed, if she did, Mamma will come assist us in our
making of breakfast or just supervise us depending.  Then after it is made,
me and Patty will set the table, and ensure that every one has juice,
coffee, or what ever they like to drink in the morning, and that proper
condiments are set up.  Mamma will go and wake the Men and boys of the
house and check on laundry and help Papa with the morning necessities like
the Men and boys clothing and showering him if he requires it, or wants her
to, he loves it when she does though.  Some times Mamma will service the
Men or boys before or while they bathe, sometimes my sister or me are asked
to.  Nicholas being in the grip of raging hormones still, will usually want
servicing in the morning before he pees.  Then she will return and stand
behind Patty and me as we kneel at the doorway to the dining room.  The Men
and boys also will some times shower together, and also check each other.
Patrick has a liking for washing Papa and loves to suck on him as he washes
him and Papa will indulge him most of the time (In retrospect we all knew
Patrick was going to be a mans man, or as you say Gay A term we do not have
and that means something way different to us, I will cover it latter). 
Some times, even letting Patrick pleasure him if he has bin good.  Nicholas
is not as open to servicing by guys though he will if he feels like it and
will use Patrick to since he is still a fluffer (his cum still being clear,
no seamen in it yet), though he can get the most impressive hardons for a
kid his age Usually Nicholas will prefer one of us girls or Mamma if he has
time.

   So now that the boys are up and moving they will come down to eat. 
Patty and me are now awaiting them, in what is known as at rest Posture. 
(Kneeling, backs straight, head up but eyes down cast, knees spread apart
no closer then shoulder width, our arms are at our sides though not
touching our torsos, and our hands are turned palm toward the front and our
mouths open.  If a girl or bitch has is in trouble she must have her arms
behind her back left crossed with the left hand grabbing the right elbow
and the right hand grabbing the left elbow, If she is sick or cant service
for other reasons she just keeps her mouth shut).  We normally only have
our mouths open for greeting, as a girls/women's way of showing her
happiness at their being their, as a way to show our subservience to them,
and simply just to show our affection and love.  For the most part the
males do not get serviced now preferring to eat.  The different postures,
there positioning, and uses are many, and I will try to cover them all for
you later.  Now as they come in, as I sed, they may want us to service them
and we will do so before we sit to eat, if not then after they sit to eat
Papa may let us sit with them or have Mamma feed us on the floor.  We
usually eat at the table though.  But some times Papa will have us eat on
the floor to remind us of our please and some times to keep from being
distracted while he is eating.

   I suppose I should quickly explain, every one place in the family, the
pecking order if you will.  Boys are dominant over girls; a girl must
always be submissive to a boy and defer to his will unless circumstances
dictate otherwise.  A Man is dominant over all girls and women and as with
boys and girls women and girls will respect and obey under most
circumstances.  For instance Mamma would be sub, to Nicolas now that he is
a Man, but if it's in the house He differs to her out of respect of her
position as Mistress of the house.  A boy is accorded respect by a girl
older then him but he is expected to listen, and respect his older female
siblings.  An older boy is only below the father in pecking order; the
mother or Mistress of the house rules over all and is the hand eyes ears
and mouth of the Father or Master when he is not around.  Now back to the
where we where

   Yes our Women and girls do not have the liberation western societies do,
but in our community that is a fact of nature, accepted and practiced.  We
are weaker and not as adept to doing the hard driving work needed to make a
good living.  We are adept at loving, nurturing and raising children.  Not
hunting and gathering that Men are built for Women have bin and should
always be the subservient one in the relationship.  The man is working his
butt off, and often living a shorter life then a woman due to it.  It is
there place to provide and protect, and Die doing so if need be.  How ells
should we repay them for it all.  Leave the house a mess, the kids in day
care, expect them to help us out just so we can make money for our selves.
Ya that works, kids are running amuck, the daycare system is stretched to
its max, and home life is no longer the place to feel safe comfortable and
happy its just the place we go between jobs.  Men are becoming less adept
at what Nature intended and we are as a race on a downhill slide, Pleas
tell me again why the way I grew up is bad?  Ultimately we have a thousand
years of evolution saying that this is the way nature wants it and when we
try to buck Natures system we loose every time.

   Now there are those people, like my Aunt Stasha, who is a lesbian, and a
total tomboy, in our community they are treated, as total equals to a Man.
They have jobs and live as any other person and can even marry as they
wish. A gay Man is treated as any other Man unless he dresses as a woman
then he is treated as a Woman and is expected to behave as one.  They
usually stay in a household becoming the helper of the Mistress of the
house, or get married and living as normal but without children, unless as
Iv herd has happened more now they can adopt a baby.

   Back to the day, we have eaten; the girls and the Mistress of the house
will clean up, with help from the younger children.  Then we go up and
dress for school.  Our cloths are picked out by Papa and Mamma most of the
time.  We then go to school.  It's like any school and we are expected to
act as any other students.  After the day is over we come home, get naked
unless told otherwise.  Do our chores then if Mamma needs to do small
punishments or training either with plugs or gages she does so before
sitting us all in the dining room for homework or studies.  It is not
uncommon for a girl to be gagged fidgeting with a butt plug and vibrator
ball in her pussy, a sore ass and thighs from a flogging and a chastity
belt.  The boys May have about the same, though the chastity belt is a cock
ring and the vibrator ball is used in the ass so Mamma can help them to
listen and focus.  Just today I sit at the computer with a cock gag
learning to control my gag reflex and a butt plug stretching my sphincter
so I can be entered more easily, and my pussy is being stimulated under a
chastity belt, the stimulation is to make me horny and want release the
belt is to prevent me from getting release till I'm allowed.  This teaches
me not to touch my self and while it is frustrating to the point of tears I
know the reword will be worth it.

   At the time Papa and Nicolas are due to come home from the boat Patty
me, and Mamma if she is not to busy, will go await them by the door When
they do we are at the door in at-rest posture with our mouths open.  They
are usually dirty and sweaty from working but always enjoy being serviced,
and although it is more salty and smelly we do it for them any way before
we bathe them.  We are expected to not only clean them as we lick and suck
but we are thought things to watch for as far as health risks, and
potential problems or injures missed from work.  We help them relax and
release the day's tensions, we show them how much we care and support them
in their efforts for our benefit.

   Now Patty and me will take them up stairs and strip them and bathe them,
washing them and messaging to help them relax.  Some times Mamma will take
one of them.  Some times if they are feeling the urge this is when they
will fuck us.  Nicolas will still ask first but unless we are being
punished or are being saved for some other reason Papa will let him use us
as he wants.  Just yesterday I bathed Nicky and we had wonderful sex, he
even made me cum, twice.  Unfortunately for me I was so caught up in the
moment I did not ask for permission to cum, thus my punishment today.

   After they are cleaned up Papa will sit in his study and go over Bills,
news business and family matters while Mamma waits in posture by the door.
When he is finished he will call her in and they spend time together,
talking, cuddling, and winding down before Dinner.  Now is the time we
girls are free to relax and do our own things.  We even have the Internet
and are allowed to chat if we are careful, of cores Mamma and Papa will
randomly check to see that we are not being disrespectful or doing or
saying things we should not.  I love to chat with people from all over the
world.  Papa even has an Idea to let us have online Masters that we must
obey and service as we will some day do for our own Masters, and for the
boys it reinforces humility and obedience to elders.  Mamma over sees it
moistly, and she will not allow us to have a camera since it opens us to
legal problems.  Any way, after a while Patty and me start making dinner
watched by Mamma, while the boys are still relaxing or are doing chores or
any homework or training they still need to finish.

   When is ready we do the same as at breakfast, as far as setting the
table and assuming posture, though we do not have our mouths open unless we
did not make it to greet Papa and Nicky at the door when they came home. 
Then after we eat me, Patty, Mamma and Patrick all clean up.  After that if
any of us have chores to finish we do, or homework to finish then we do
that.  If that is all dun we can watch TV or as I do most of the time, play
or chat on the PC or phone, as we want to, or we may ask for pleasure time,
this may be in the form of massage or cuddling, or foundling or even sex.

   Some times if one or more of us has bin bad, and punishments are due,
all of us may have to go at this time, to the Basement training/Dungeon
area to see the punishment.  This is also used as a training session when
we learn the arts of rope work, or what some call bondage, and the
techniques of pane and pleasure, or what some call torture, though it is
used to enhance the pleasure of other stimuli not to do damage or extract
information.  Together they are what westerners call BDSM, but to compare
BDSM to what we do is the equivalent of comparing folding a paper airplane
to building a jet.  Our techniques are very old and honed to a level of
expertise that I have yet to see practiced any wear out side the Families
privet sanctums.  Not to say that there are not some skilled people around
the world that are not of the Lib, lifestyle, but they just do not have the
depth of training we gain from living it day to day.  It is not just a fad,
or a Secret thing we play at in dark back rooms.  We live with it day in
and day out and we enjoy it as a release and as a way of expression, some
even as Art.

   I do hope I have given you a good insight to our ways, customs and
beliefs.  Take it for what you will, enjoy it or hate it.  Believe it or
think of it as a work of fiction.  But what ever you may see or think is
irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.  Only how you use the knowledge
you may have gained matters.  For good, or ill, and in this I am not unlike
an arms dealer.  I have given you a most powerful weapon.  The weapon
itself is no more bad or good then a hammer, it is how we the Person, the
child of Nature, uses it that makes it work or sit dormant, we not the
object are good or evil, and I suppose that even knowledge used for bad, is
better then knowledge not used at all, and lost.  And it is for that reason
I would Wright this.  Not to appose the statuesque, or the Church, or even
to hope for some credit that, as we believe a girl must not have any way.
But to just get the knowledge of a nether way to live out there rather then
let it possibly just die off as man has want to do.

   Now let us say this is all, as you say HOG WASH, a story thought up by
some one just needing a release, or disturbed, do you feel better thinking
that.  Then go away with that thought, and be free and happy.  O you aren't
though, free and happy.  You must work and live day to day keeping up
appearances as the Establishment demands.  O I see how happy you are.  As I
look out on the world from here.  But yet so many would try to destroy this
rather then ever admit how it really affects them.  Arouses in them some
primal instincts that tell them "maybe".  Be that as it may though most of
you will dismiss this and go on being who you are "Suppose to be".  Some
may as I sed try to destroy this any way they can.  But some, and this I
take great pleasure in, Will think, may even act, perhaps some thing small
like tell there wife "No you don't need the job, you need to be home more
for the kids its my responsibility to make more if we need it".  Or a wife
may just be in posture awaiting her husband some night with her mouth open
and her body bard for him as an attempt to spice things up a bit.  But
however it happens, some will act on it, and that gives me worm feelings
all over.

   I hope this is a good enough groundwork for the stories to come.  I
intend to do a few all "true" stories about how I grew up.  I will try to
keep it all as close to the "truth" as I can but I will likely change
names, and pleases in order to keep some anonymity, So pleas don't take the
names or pleases in the story as all true, rather, lets say it is just so
much more fiction.  That way we all can sleep easy in the knowledge that
the bad people are all locked up or gone and we are all ok.