Child Brides of India

By C. Stanton Leman

Chapter 98: Hauntings

Things came to a head with Tina about a month after Leeya’s sonogram. It happened one night after we’d put the twins and Malina to bed and we were sitting in the family room watching some nature show on Discovery: of all things, the mating habits of the South American spider monkey, genus Ateles geoffroyi.

The girls thought it apropos and cute because we’d been practicing some mating habits of our own. Anyway, Tina came down from upstairs, settled on my lap and asked, “Whatcha watching?”

This really wasn’t strange because she parks herself on my lap a few times a month. “Spider monkeys,” I replied as I watched the show.

With her head on my shoulder we watched together and she asked as we viewed the screen, “Are they doin’ it?”

“Yup,” I answered with a chuckle, “Looks like it to me.”

“I love you Daddy,” Tina cooed as she nuzzled my neck.

“I love you too Sweetie,” I cooed in return as I rubbed her back, my eyes fixed on the screen.

As we watched the screen, it appeared that an adult male had fancied a very young, much smaller female and was jack hammering his little monkey dick in her upturned little quim with lightening speed from the rear.

Tina, now very interested, sat up and took notice of the action on the screen. She blushed with some embarrassment and giggled out, “Is that how grown-ups do it?”

Me, being a Neanderthal male and thinking about who was going to get jack hammered tonight as I watched the show, didn’t pick up on anything other than a discussion of the program, but the other females in the room perked up and looked at me questioningly waiting for my reply.

“Sometimes Sweetie, but not that fast” I answered honestly not giving it another thought. We’ve always been honest when discussing sex with her and Tiya.

Thinking back on it, I’m reminded that men as a whole really haven’t evolved too far above the spider monkey in that when we see an attractive, receptive female, all the blood from the big head migrates south to the brainless little head, stimulating the testicles to produce an ejacularus impregnatus. See? I know a little Latin.

I know that having pussy on the brain is no excuse, but we’re men and slaves to coitus ejaccularus satisfiticus. I was oblivious to Tina’s knowledge of Latin also. Without any more questions or commentaries for several minutes, the girls seemingly turned their attention back to the furry, fucking Homo erectus on the screen.

Being homo sapiens, we are all inbred with this basic knowledge of Latin and Tina was no different; but unbeknownst to me, she was attempting to become fluent. She turned to face the screen, settling her tight, little gluteus maximus overtop my penis flacidis and sat back against me pulling my arms around her waist.

Alarm bells should have been going off in my head, but noooooo, that pea-sized brain that has ejacularus vaginus squirticus on the brain, infected with a touch of mammaryitus never gave it a thought.

The species sitting on my lap, Faatinicus lolitus virginatum seductrus must have instinctively known evolution is a slow process because she made no further moves to promote genus coitus. Didn’t I tell you about those sneaky, intelligent females? Somehow we men got fucked in the evolutionary process!

With only about ten minutes of the program left, Faatinicus Lolitus again must have instinctually known that the window in the time/space continuum of species survival was at hand (They must have invented Latin!).

Faatinicus gently pressed her gluteus maximus against my penis nonerectus then turned and kissed me on the mouth. It was a closed mouth kiss but it lingered much longer than it should have.

I would like to interject here why I’ve used “pig” Latin. In the retelling of these events, in a somewhat humorous and inane way, I want to demonstrate how a seemingly innocuous and innocent series of events can have far-reaching and monumental effects on our lives. If we surreptitiously ignore certain signs, thinking they’ll all work out, instead of dealing with them head on when our gut warns us of impending disaster it can lead to serious trouble. Non-action is actually an action and we end up having to deal with its consequences. I should have seen this coming!

NOW… alarm bells go off in my pea-sized retardicus cerebellum! Latin lessons were definitely over!

My heart literally stopped! I was shocked and stunned by what I saw in her eyes. She looked at me with a sweet innocent love but there was smoldering passion behind that innocence. All four of my wives must have been unobtrusively watching out of the corners of their eyes but were now looking at the two of us with undivided attention.

I gently nudged Tina to get up and said, “Come on. Let’s take a walk.”

She rose, I followed suit as I gave my wives a concerned look. Tina took my hand as I led her out the back door to the garden. Holding my left hand in her right, Tina hugged herself to my arm with her left, pressing her little half-lemon of a breast into my arm as we walked silently towards the garden gate. I didn’t push her away, figuring it’d be best addressed when we spoke.

As we walked in silence, flashbacks of my nightmare returned. I remembered when the demon summoned me to look at a scene in my nightmare and Faatina was fellating a faceless male as the demon said, “It all started with her…”

I broke out in a cold sweat and shivered at the memory. We pushed open the gate and Faatina let go of my arm, sat by the fountain pool and dragged her hand through the water just as Miko had done on our wedding day. She looked at me and smiled, saying with a sigh, “Isn’t it so romantic here?”

“Yes it is,” I replied stoically, “Come on, let’s go to the pagoda and talk.”

Tina rose, took my hand and we walked over the bridge to the pagoda. I had her sit on the bench then sat next to her, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees, turned my head and looked at her in silence for several moments.

Starting with a heavy sigh, I asked, “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Don’t you know?” she asked seductively as she gave me a coquettish smile.

“I think so Tina, but I’m not positive,” I answered, “And I don’t want to assume anything if my suspicions are correct. I know how important this is to you and I don’t wanna get it wrong.”

In a firm but gentle, even tone I replied, “Do you know what assume means? It means… if I assume something, I’m likely to make an ass out of you and me. Assuming always gets people in trouble when one person doesn’t have all the facts. Why don’t you clarify things and tell me how you really think and feel?”

“I love you Daddy,” she answered taking my hand.

“I love you too, Baby,” I answered, “more than you’ll ever know.”

“You know what I mean, Daddy,” Tina said with more inflection.

“I think I do, but then again, I’m not sure that I do, Sweetie,” I asked. “Why don’t just you tell me?”

“I love you Daddy: like a woman, not like your daughter,” she almost implored, “Like Leeya does.”

“I see,” I replied. “I must say, I’m surprised and flattered, but when did you have this… this epiphany?”

Looking down, Tina said, “I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of months now and I realized that you’re everything I’ll ever want in a husband and lover. When I think that I was once your wife, I just fall deeper in love with you.”

Still holding hands, I rubbed the top of her left hand with mine and said, “Ya know, Sweetheart, that’s probably the greatest joy of my life, but at the same time the most heartbreaking.”

”What do you mean?” she asked confused as the tears welled up in her eyes.

“What I mean is this.” I began as I let go of her hand, sat up straight and turned to look at her, “It’s the greatest joy and achievement of my life, in that every father in the world thinks there’s not a man alive that’s good enough for his baby girl because NO man can love her like her father. If you see in me, the traits that you believe in your heart your ideal soul mate should possess, that’s a very high honor indeed and it humbles me greatly.”

I swallowed audibly hard, clinched my jaw and waited to find the strength to continue without breaking down, then began again, “On the other hand, it’s the most heartbreaking because unfortunately, we can never share the love you want…”

Tina burst into tears and started to bolt from her seat when I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to my lap, enfolding her in my arms as she sobbed. I just held her, cradling her head in my hand and letting her cry herself out as I cried in silence with her.

When she’d calmed down some, I wiped her tears like a father would, kissed her forehead and pulled her again to my chest. “Let me finish, okay? This is just as hard for me to say as it is for you to hear.”

Sniffling and crying she nodded against my chest and I started again, “There are several reasons why we cannot have the love you desire. I married you out of a fatherly love, not a carnal or marital love. I married you to save your life so that you could live and grow up to become the beautiful young woman you are today. When the Imam granted me the divorce, according to Muslim law, you are forever forbidden for me to remarry.”

Tina sat up, put her arm around my shoulder and looked at me, waiting for me to continue. “And now I think it’s time I told something about your dear ‘ole Dad you didn’t know; something dark, evil and very hard to admit. Priya was eleven when I married her and Leeya was five. I was going to marry another child bride younger than you, remember us talking about Emmy?”

“Um hum,” Tina nodded as she continued to look at me.

“Well,” I answered, “Emmy was my second cousin and she was eight. We fell in love but she died in India a week before we were to marry. You and she drank from the same water bottle that gave you meningitis. At that time, I had an overpowering attraction to very young girls. This attraction haunted me even though I never thought I’d ever do anything sexual with my children. The entire week you and I were married, I never had a sexual thought about you; you were my infant daughter and we were married only to preserve your life. Anyway, every night that week I had elusive nightmares and it wasn’t until the fifth night that the nightmare became vividly clear. In that vision, the devil showed me what my life would be like if I continued to lust after small girls. That vision showed generations of my children engaged in all kinds of filthy sexual acts, including you. The demon told me that my children were only doing what I’d taught them and it all began with abusing you.”

“Oh Daddy!” Tina sighed as she hugged me tightly.

“You see, Tina,” I continued, “Even though we can’t remarry, if we had an intimate relationship together as husband and wife like you desire, our whole family would be destroyed. All the blessings we share, the love that controls our happiness and binds us together — gone, all gone — destroyed for a moment’s pleasure.”

Gaining some understanding, Tina said calmly, “I see.”

“It is my fervent hope,” I encouraged, “that someday, you’ll meet the man of your dreams and he’ll love you more than I ever could! I believe that God has a soul mate for each and every one of us. When He knows we’re ready to accept His gift of a soul mate, we meet them face-to-face. Before Allah gave me Monaavi and Miko, I had to overcome my desire for young girls. If I hadn’t, then my life would have been totally destroyed along with all those I love. I know how much you’re hurting right now and it hurts me even more because I’m the cause of that pain. Me trying to tell you to wait for some unknown young man is also painful but this is the way it’s meant to be.”

“Do you hate me, Daddy for having these feelings?”

“Never Baby, in fact I’m very flattered. I could never hate you,” I softly said with a loving smile, “My love for you is eternal, abiding and will always be there to comfort you and shield you from the evils of this world.”

“OH DADDY!” Tina cried as she flung her arms around me.

She sat up after a few minutes, looked down shyly and asked me, “Am I pretty, Daddy?”

I tickled her ribs and joked, “Sweetie, you’re so stunningly beautiful, if I were your age, I’d be sucking face with you right now, with a raging you know what, trying to sample your charms!”

“DADDY!” Tina giggled slapping my arm, “No wonder Leeya calls you a letch!”

“Seriously though,” I injected, “I would like you to make me a promise. You’re old enough to make some of these decisions for yourself, but if you can, I’d like to ask you to make me a promise. I only ask you to promise if you think you can keep it, understand?”

“Anything, Daddy,” Tina vowed, “Anything at all.”

“I want you to promise me,” I requested, “that until you meet this man of your dreams, that you never ever let a boy touch you, no matter how excited you get or want to.”

“But Daddy,” she asked, “Kids do stuff all the time, why should I have to wait?”

“Because Princess,” I explained, “you can only give your innocence away once, then it’s gone forever. The greatest gift you can give to the man of your dreams, the man you’ll spend your life with, is something so special, no one has ever seen or touched: and that’s you, your body. You’ll know when it’s right because he’ll love you more than I ever could.”

“I promise, Daddy,” she tearfully vowed sincerely. “And if that man never comes, I will spend my life pure as the driven snow, loving only you.”

I broke down and sobbed in my daughter’s arms like a babe at the unconditional expression of her love for me. After several minutes of uncontrollable sobbing what eased my heart was a voice, a very faint, ethereal voice deep in my soul that sounded like Emmy saying, “You’re free, finally free…”

As I looked at my child with tear-filled eyes, she kissed my tears away. Her kisses now were innocent, loving and sweet. We walked back to the house with Tina nestled under my arm. When we entered the back door, Tina stood on tippy-toes, kissed my cheek and said, “Goodnight, Daddy, I love you,” and scampered up the rear staircase to bed without waiting for a reply.

I walked to the family room where my wives impatiently awaited our return. I sat and explained, word-for-word what had transpired and what I’d said. When I’d finished Priya stood, ready to go to Tina, but I stopped her. I told them of the promise I’d asked Tina to make and her unbelievably heart provoking vow.

Looking at Priya then the others I said, “Priya, I think Miko should talk to her. Miko, I know it may be hard for you to do, but could you talk to her, tell her the difference between perceived love and true love? Relate to her your terrible experience so that she understands how much pain a mistake in judgment can cause. I hate to ask you to relive all of this, but for Tina’s sake, can you do this for me?”

Miko gave me the sweetest smile and said softly, “Isn’t that what mothers are for? To help their children avoid their parent’s mistakes? Besides, I can explain to her how healing a true love can be.”

She kissed me tenderly and smiled at her sisters as she left to attend to Faatina.

Overcome with emotion, I wept with my hands covering my face and Leeya and Priya held me. Monaavi stood next to us, rubbing my back as she said, “Sean, you told her exactly what needed to be said. Don’t worry, Tina will understand and I truly believe that her relationship with you will only get stronger because of this.”

“I think Monaavi’s only half right about that right,” Leeya said, revealing her concern, “I’ve practically raised her and I think I understand Tina better than any of you. I have a suspicion that her feelings for you won’t just go away. I think Monaavi’s right, in that her feelings for you Sean will only deepen. But I truly believe that she’s already deeply in love with you.”

Priya, Monaavi and I just looked at her stunned as she continued, “If my suspicions are correct, she’ll revert back to being your daughter, never make another overt move but she’ll never marry. That’s what she meant by her promise.”

Hearing those words rent my heart and made me cry even harder. To think my daughter, whom I loved as deeply and my other three girls, would live a life of unrequited love because of me. In frustration, I lashed out at Leeya saying, “If you raised her, then why didn’t you see this coming, damn it?”

“I saw what you saw,” Leeya replied tersely. “And that is a young girl going through puberty with what looked like a normal crush on her father. Any father who’s a good father has dealt with this throughout the ages. I never said anything because I surely wasn’t gonna put any ideas in her head. You have all the qualities to be a good husband and she sees that, and that’s a perfectly normal thing to expect and be proud of. The unique problem is, daughters aren’t wives before they’re daughters and she can’t, or won’t, disconnect the two right now. Maybe in time, but if I know her, she’ll just silently continue loving you.”

“What can I do about it?” I asked in desperation.

“Are you asking me,” Leeya asked, “Or is that an open question?”

“Both.” I answered sharply.

“If you’re asking me,” Leeya answered, “I’d do nothing for a while. It may be better to put her in public school though so she can get involved in school activities, meet kids her own age and see how she does. Hopefully, she’ll meet guys and wanna date as she gets older like other girls do.”

Priya looked at Leeya surprised and said, “God Leeya, how did you get so smart about stuff like this?”

Leeya gave her a half smile and replied, “Because as soon as I saw it, I did some research and studied some psychology. You keep forgetting that my talent in life is with mothering kids and I take that job very seriously.”

“Leeya’s got an excellent idea,” Monaavi agreed, “I think public middle school would be a push in the right direction, don’t you think?”

“Okay,” I agreed, “We’ll register her for the start of second semester classes.”

About thirty minutes later, Miko came down from her talk with Tina. We were all holding our breath when we saw her enter the room. She sat down next to me, on the edge of the sofa, slapped her hands to her knees, sighed and began. “Well Sean, we talked and I explained the events of my life before marrying you and she was surprised to say the least. After I’d finished, she seemed to really understand why you and her couldn’t have the relationship that she seems to want with you. She’s also happy that you don’t think she’s a slut, or hate her for having these feelings, but there’s something else going on that I can’t put my finger on.”

”What?” I interrupted.

Miko gave a shrug with an “I don’t know” raised eyebrow and answered, “I’m not sure, I got the feeling she was holding back something; almost like she wasn’t being completely honest with me.”

”See,” Leeya interjected, “I told you so.”

“Told Sean what?” Miko asked.

Leeya went on to repeat her observations to Miko and what we felt might be a solution. After listening, Miko responded with, “Oh my! No wonder she seemed reluctant to talk in depth about her feelings for you, Sean.”

“There’s a caveat to all this, Sean,” Monaavi warned, “and it’ll all hinge on you. If you put distance between the two of you, she’s likely to rebel or lash out thinking you don’t love her anymore because of tonight’s incident. You really need to be careful, in that you still act like her father, showing her the same amount of love and affection so she knows she’s stilled loved — but as a daughter. You need to reinforce that relationship, not push her away because you’re gun shy about expressing your love for her. It won’t be easy, knowing what you know about how she feels, but you need to be the strong one here.”

“I agree,” Leeya said as Priya and Miko nodded.

“I guess we’ll just have to play it by ear then,” I summed up, “Let’s go to bed. I’m gonna sleep alone tonight; I need to think.”

Instead of going to bed, I left the house by the back door and went to the garden. As if symbolically, I hid myself in the dark, cloistered alcove of the meditation bench, staring at the shimmering flecks of moonlight as it glistened off the water cascading over the rocks. I could hear the trickling sound of flowing water as my heart pumped audibly in my chest.

“Is this to be my fate?” I asked myself aloud, imploring to no one, feeling God had left me. “That the sins of the father are laid upon the daughter? Is she to pay my debt with a life of longing for that one thing each heart desires; an unconditional and true love?”

The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. Each question raised another and another and…

I suddenly felt rage at the thought and scowled, “Is it that fucking demon extracting retribution for all the souls lost to him by my redemption? Am I being put through the furnace of trial by fire by God like He did with Job?”

All temptations are more easily succumbed to with a coating of truth and a subtle, hinted reminder of our own weakness, my demon, my curse, my once-forgotten lust for nubile flesh.

I thought I’d put all this behind me! I’d had eight years of bliss and happiness, fueled in the belief that these blessings were from God. Was all this a lie, a cunning trick to lull me into ultimately fulfilling the vision the demon had laid before my eyes?

Thinking about it, I realized that our weaknesses, our demons never ever leave us. They’re always there, lurking in the shadowy recesses of our minds, waiting to pounce out of our subconscious to live again.

I also realized that whether or not we have a demon, all of us struggle inside with some turmoil or another. There are times when we think we’d like to kill someone or even just shout some derogatory comment, but ultimately, what we do about those thoughts and feelings are the test of our character.

My demon may lie dormant in my mind, but if I’ve truly dealt with it, overcome it, then I’ve earned the blessings that God has brought into my life. And then there was that voice… the voice deep within me that said I was free: a voice that sounded like Emmy reassuring me that I’d done the right thing.

It then dawned on me that I can’t be responsible for what Tina thinks or feels, but I certainly can be responsible for how I react and respond to her feelings. I may not like it, or find it hard to accept, but I still have to do what I feel is right. Monaavi was right: all I can do is love Tina as a father, reinforce that father/daughter relationship and hope that God has someone special for her.

Feeling more at ease and relieved that I’d at least come to some resolution in my mind and heart, I returned to the house and went to bed. Having reconciled myself that what I’d decided was right, sleep still came fretfully and with great angst.

The next morning, right before prayers, I greeted Tina with a loving hug and a kiss on the forehead. Leeya was right: she responded with a daughter’s loving smile, a hug and returned my kiss with one of her own on my cheek. Although at first, our relationship seemed normal and unchanged on the outside, I had to struggle within myself to make it appear so. I just couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that my daughter was deeply in love with me and wanted a sexual relationship with me.

I surmised that the best way to get on with life was to concentrate on what was important: namely, that the three pregnant women that I was married to would soon bring new life to our family.

Leeya was her natural self, always cuddling with me whenever she got the chance. Approaching six months, she had a cute little pot of a belly bulge and looked like the only place she grew was in her stomach. Leeya’s breasts hardly grew at all…yet.

Miko became even more submissive and I reassured her often telling her how proud and honored I was that she was carrying our child. She reveled in being pregnant because she could never really believe that she deserved her happiness and the life growing within her. Miko, like Leeya, was just starting to show at fifteen weeks and had a small, compact little tummy bulge.

Monaavi, well she was like a beacon of glowing motherhood. It amazed me that she carried herself with a quiet, self assured poise and grace because she knew deep inside that she was born to be a mother. She was in her element, doing what she believed (and we all believed) that she was placed on this earth to fulfill. Monaavi, at a little less than fourteen weeks, was as big as Leeya and she’d walk around rubbing the underside of her growing stomach whimsically saying, “God has made me fruitful, I see twins on the horizon.”

She’s got a sixth sense about these things and I was beginning to wonder…

With Miko and Monaavi expected to deliver within eleven days of each other, we decided to schedule Miko and Monaavi’s ultrasounds for the same day, one right after the other. Knowing Leeya was carrying little Emma Marie, I was hopeful that Miko or Monaavi would bear me a son. I already had four daughters (five if I counted my near daughter, Attiya) and with another on the way, it would be nice to sort of balance out the siblings with a male or two.

I wasn’t one of those men who longed for or was obsessive about having a son probably because of my experiences in India with the misogynistic attitudes about girls. To me, a child was a child: boy or girl, and as long as mother and child were healthy, the joy for me was the same. The downside to having all girls is that it seemed to reinforce the fact that I was literally pussy-whipped whether it was by a one year-old or a thirty year-old female. I’m such a push over!

It was decided that Miko and Monaavi would deliver at GBMC while Leeya would deliver at Union Memorial. The nurses and staff at GBMC had already figured out the unusual relationship Miko shared with Priya, Monaavi and me and were supportive and understanding and kept our confidence even though some disagreed with our lifestyle; as long as Miko was happy, loved and supported they didn’t seem to mind.

The only concern Dr. Simpson had was that of the closeness of Miko and Monaavi’s due dates. He said that with a first pregnancy, Miko might be late in delivering and said he wouldn’t let her go past forty weeks while Monaavi, this being her second pregnancy, might go early. With her reoccurrence of gestational diabetes and the possibility of Toxemia and Preeclampsia, she wouldn’t be allowed to go past thirty-eight weeks. It was gonna be close!

Oh well, it didn’t really matter because those little urchins had their own timetable as to when they wanted to arrive anyway.

D-Day (or should I say see-day) was scheduled for next week and we’d hopefully find out what we were going to have soon enough. All we could do now was wait with anticipation.

Twins… I hope Monaavi doesn’t double up on us again: that would make me the father of seven children!

We’ll just have to wait and see…