Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. BOOGER RED & COWBOY CHAPTER 8 By Waddie Greywolf We left Gurneyville on a cold but beautiful day to travel to Reno for a bit of a vacation. We worked hard and we felt we deserved a small vacation. We stopped in an RV camper stop on the Yuba River outside of Yuba City. There were a number of other bikers there that seemed friendly enough and we were invited to join them. I felt a bit uncomfortable with some of the looks I got from several of the men but I was with three large men, one almost a giant. If they were comfortable then I felt I should be as well. Everything was fine until we decided to set up our tents for the night. One of the bigger bikers of the outlaw group was not a bad looking man. In fact he was a damn good looking man. He was a bit scruffy and dirty looking but what the hell, I always cleaned them before I ate them anyway. He was one of the men who was giving me looks that weren't simply curious; neither could they be described as wholesome. They were text book definitions of the words 'lewd' and 'lascivious.' They were drinking pretty heavily; past the point of sound reasoning or good judgment. That shouldn't have been a big surprise, when sober they're reasoning and judgment ain't too sound. The big one decided he wanted me for the evening. All I wanted was a quiet evening, laying in my Clan Master's big arms, hoping he'd let me play, 'Hallelujah, and pass them snakes,' with his serpent; on my knees, with the right incantations and prayers maybe I could receive it's blessing and get it to spit down my throat. When we were camping out, I never got approached by any Master in our family for a piece of ass because there was no place to clean myself. While they were demanding men they were also reasonable. If a man were big enough and you weren't clean it's quite possible he could damage you. I don't care how good looking a man is or how turned on I might be, Uncle Bud taught me to take care of my body first. If they wanted you bad enough they'll be willing to wait. Rather than coming over and asking, he loudly announced to everyone in the camp he was going to drag me into his tent and fuck me 'til my house was haunted. (Actually, that sounded pretty good at the time. I'm sure, from his looks, I would've had to call Ghostbusters.) He was a good looking, hyper-masculine, dick dripping man. He wore a 'T' shirt that read 'Fucking machine.' "Subtle." I thought. If he came over, introduced himself and asked, with some civility, with my Clan Master's approval, if I'd like to share his tent, I probably would have. I wouldn't let him fuck me but I would've sucked him off. Instead he chose to play 'bull of the woods' trying to impress his cohorts he was a man who took what he wanted when he wanted it. Fine with me, I enjoy doing a 'vine-swing'n chest beater' from time to time but I had no intention of letting him carry me off to his tree house and be passed around among his merry band of scooter apes. Big Beryl, Bull and Charlie were having none of it. Big Beryl told him I was his slave and the man would have to go through him to get to me. There were at least twelve of them against the four of us. I wasn't afraid of hand to hand combat. I'd been well trained. Bull and Charlie didn't hesitate to stand behind Big Beryl and state the same. I'd seen Master Beryl and Bull in action. I knew what they were capable of and I had an idea Charlie could handle himself better'n average. I don't think he'd be riding with Bull if he couldn't 'cause sometimes that's all you had was your back to your buddy. I moved in front of Master Beryl and took my shirt off so they could see my shoulder and ripped my belt open and dropped my leather pants so they could see my leg wound. Even then my wounds were still ugly looking. "Get a good look, Guys. I just came back from Nam and was wounded in hand to hand combat." I said pulling my pants back up and buckling my belt. "I lost three men, my buddies, I loved more than life itself who were fighting by my side. After being shot twice, I single handedly took out twelve VC before reinforcements came (I enlarged on my own story a bit for effect) but not soon enough to save the men I loved. I've seen my share of hurt. I don't need no more. I won't have you or anyone hurting these men. It's not gonna' happen, Gentlemen. I won't allow it. Neither will I hide behind them. I've lost too much in my life for any one man three times my age. While you assholes were here putt'n around on your fuck'n scooters I damn near cashed in my chips over there fighting for my country. I'll be damned if I went through what I did, to return and allow scoot' trash like you hurt these men I love." As I began talking, I noticed five other bikers parked their bikes and the men walked up in the dark to see what the brouhaha was all about. They were standing in the background, so I couldn't see their faces. I pointed to the big good looking one that said he was going to drag me to his tent. "With my Clan Master's permission, to keep the peace, if he wants me he can have me, but no other. I won't be gang banged by you assholes. If that's what you have in mind, I'll take out as many as I can before you get your pleasure. These men will back me up, and, Gentlemen, you're looking at a man who plays for keeps. When I put you down, you won't get up again. That ain't a threat, it's a promise." The big man slowly moved through the crowd toward me and stood before me with a sneer on his face. "You've got guts, Kid! With or without your fucking Master's permission you're mine tonight." The big man started to reach for me with his hand. He never made contact. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, like a dervish came a much larger man from the group in the background, decked the biker and held a knife to his throat. "This kid's been through enough you asshole. If he sleeps with anyone tonight it'll be Booger Red. Got that, you dumb fuckhead!" The big man didn't answer his attacker fast enough and my mouth dropped open as I watched Booger Red cut the man and drew a trickle of blood. "Okay, Red, okay! I didn't know he was a friend of yours. Is this the kid you been looking for?" "He is indeed." Red gave the big man his hand and helped him up. The biker, glad to be in one piece, returned to his group, grumbling to himself. "Come here, Cowboy." I went to Red as he held out his arms to me. I hugged and kissed him then melted in the big man's arms. I was genuinely glad to see Red. Not because he saved me but because I was ready to see him. He petted and comforted me. "There, there, Sweet baby, sorry I wasn't here when you guys got here or this never would have happened. You're all right now. They won't try anything." "It's good to see you again, Red." Big Beryl, Bull and Charlie came and hugged Booger. I didn't know it at the time but Booger was a family member, too. He was my brother. "It is good to see you again, Red." I told him. "I knew we'd find each other on the road somewhere. Wouldn't you know you'd be my knight in shining armor riding up on a white Harley to save me. I appreciate that, my Master. I wasn't gonna' let them hurt these men I love. They could have done what they wanted with me, within reason, but not my family." "I saw and heard the whole thing, Cowboy, and I was fuck'n proud of you, Son. You handled it well. I wasn't gonna' let anything happen to a kid I love as much as you. Neither were my buddies." Red's buddies walked up and among them were Master Sam, Big Jim, Master Zack and an unbelievably handsome man with deep violet eyes; almost purple. He was, without a doubt, the single, best looking man I'd ever seen in my life. He had a coal black brush cut flat top, bushy full 'stache the same color. He smiled at me and nodded from the rear of the group. Master Sam, Big Jim, and Zack all hugged and kissed me they were so glad to see us. The fine looking man was standing waiting to be introduced to me. Suddenly a wicked thought popped in my head and I thought why not. I winked at Red and Big Beryl and then proceeded to go ape shit. I made a big display of ripping off my boots and leathers and throwing them as far away from me as I could. My family, except Big Beryl and Red, thought I'd gone nuts. Finally I was buck ass naked before the whole camp. I could see Cal watching with interest. He damn near foamed at the mouth when he saw me naked. I knew I had their attention. Every eye in the camp was on me as I slowly, purposefully walked to the handsome man, fell to my knees and kissed his boots. I found his hand waiting for me. I kissed the back and placed it to my forehead and heard his deep baritone voice. "Rise handsome slave, and show this Master your love." I was in the beautiful man's arms in an instant. I hugged and kissed him until the entire camp was starting to piss their pants. He knew what I was doing and why and was gracious enough to go along. He got into the spirit of my dramatics and returned my kiss with equal verve. Following my family's lead, the camp went crazy yelling, whistling and applauding. "Thank you, most handsome of Masters, for being so gracious to go along with my shit." I said to him quietly in his ear. "You're more than welcome, Son. Thank you! Impressed the shit out a' me. Booger, Zack, Sam and Big Jim were right about you. You are a stunningly handsome young man. I'm glad to finally meet you. I'm Master Earl D. Shaw, Son, and you must be the cowboy." "That'ud be me, Master Earl. My real name's Billy Gunn but nobody calls me that. I've heard of you, Master Earl, but the best description of your looks did you an injustice, Sir. As you witnessed by my actions, to say I was impressed by you would be an understatement." Master Earl hugged and kissed me again. I returned to Booger's arms who had a proud smile on his face. "Good one, Cowboy. That's the way to greet a Master in our family. Especially one as handsome as Master Earl. A good man, Son, to say nothing of how easy on the eyes he is." Red allowed. " He is indeed a strikingly handsome man; however, he didn't get my all. I saved that for my magnificent beast." I kissed him until I though his ears would pop. "Woah! Fine as ever, Son. I'm so damn glad to find you. With Master Beryl's permission would you consider sharing my tent this evening." I looked at Big Beryl who smiled and nodded his approval. "My clan Master approves, Sir. I would be proud and honored to share your tent, Master Red." "You're a member of the clan, Cowboy?" "As of three months ago,---" chimed in Bull, "I nominated him." "I seconded it." said Big Jim." "And I initiated him." beamed Big Beryl. "I never got initiated." said Red. "That's 'cause you weren't pretty enough." laughed Big Beryl. Everyone broke up laughing. "Well, that's all right. I'm a knight in shining armor and a magnificent beast to at least one of my clan brothers. I'll bet he'd be happy to initiate me. Congratulations, Son. You can't go wrong throwing in you lot with these animals. They ain't the most graceful group on wheels but they're fun to watch." Red could launch a zinger now and then. "Thank you, Master Red. You always will be my magnificent beast, and, yes Sir, I'd be right proud to initiate you, Sir. I'll rope ya,' hog tie ya' and make love to your old dick until you holler 'calf rope'" Red started laughing and pointed his finger at me that I'd remembered 'calf rope' from the first night we were together. I kissed him again and thought Cal was going to have a conniption. The six others in our group and some of the outlaw bikers all went "Awwwww...." "Well, Red, don't get too attached." Beryl told him with a wicked smile. "Why's that, Bro?" Booger asked. "He's a full member of our clan, he just ain't passed initiation yet." Beryl said shaking his head sadly. "Why not?" asked Booger thinking Beryl was serious. "Well,---he just ain't got it right yet but I've been working with him. How many times you tried, Cowboy?" Beryl asked me with a wink. "I lost count at a dozen, Master Beryl. I appreciate your patience by giving me that many chances, Sir." I said with appreciative tones. Booger was beginning to know he'd been had. "What the hell does it take, Beryl?" Booger asked laughing. "It's not me, Red, it's the kid. He's a fucking perfectionist. He keeps apologizing asking me if he can have a re-ride 'cause he's sure he can get it right the next time. I have to flunk him to let him have his re-ride." By this time everyone in our group was laughing at Beryl and Booger. I went to Big Beryl threw my arms around him and planted a big one on him. "I appreciate everyone of those re-rides, Master Beryl. Not many men would have the patience to give a smart ass kid that kind a' chance. One day, many years from now, maybe I'll get it right, please you, and pass initiation; but until then, Master, I'll just have ta' keep practicing my dismounts." Beryl hugged me and roared with laughter. So did everybody else including Big Red. We stayed up a while longer and had a drink of Southern Comfort Red bought in Yuba City. I lay in his big, tattooed arms with my head on his chest. I felt like we picked up where we left off. I was comfortable being with the big man. Much like the feeling I felt the first night I sat in his lap in Master Walker's spa. He just felt right. Red made me feel safe and wanted. He was an oasis against the chaos in my world. He made me recall a time of innocence we shared, and for a few fleeting moments I could imagine myself as that young man he made love to and used to pleasure him all those summers ago. All those summers? It had only been three and a half almost four years since that time but it seemed like light years from where I was today. Another galaxy, on the other side of time. We retired to Red's tent, and with all the clan members in the same area, I didn't worry. I wanted to pleasure Red, but he wouldn't let me. We did make a little love, and he let me take his boots off; however, Red insisted he was dirty, and since I didn't have a chance to clean myself, we should wait. He didn't smell dirty to me. He smelled of man and leather. Strong, leather and man odors but not unpleasant. On the contrary, they were driving me nuts. I had to have him. I begged him. "Please Red, let me suck you off, at least. I need to do that for you, Sir. Please!" "I've been on that bike for three days without a shower, Cowboy. I warn you, I probably pretty ripe. You don't have to take me now. We'll have lots of time later." "Is that an order, Red?" He looked at me with love in his eyes and saw my need. A smile crossed his ugly face. "No Son, It's not an order but---" I was making love to his big dick before he could get the rest out. I cleaned out his foreskin; it wasn't too strong, but it had the unmistakable flavor of a big hearted animal, my magnificent beast, that I remembered and loved light years ago. I remembered how he tasted; his flavor from that summer. He still tasted the same. It was a strong masculine taste but it was Red's strength I tasted; his maleness. I was loving every minute of the big man's taste. It only made my dick harder. I made the prerequisite love to his shaft, and begged him, with tears in my eyes, to allow me to taste him full in my mouth. Master Red gave me permission, and I took that old man like there might not be a tomorrow. Somehow, my throat opened to accommodate him like it never had before. I was getting into fucking him with my throat when I felt his big hand on my shoulder gently squeeze me. It was a signal we developed before I went to Nam if he was about to come I could pull back and catch him in my mouth. I responded to his gentle signal as he shot a huge, mouth filling load. I received another volley and didn't stop until I'd gotten the third and final volley from his big dick. My mouth was filled with his come. With the taste of his strong, male ejaculate in my mouth, I swallowed once, twice and slowly let the last slide easily down my throat so I could awaken in the night and still taste him. He lay there exhausted and I had the warm feeling of Booger Red's come in my belly. It was a good feeling and the wonderful full aftertaste caused me to experience epiphanies profane and sacred. I remembered why I'd fallen in love with Booger Red that summer. It was like someone flipped a light switch. I suddenly remembered that love and reached across a universe separated by time and brought it into the present; the full bodied taste of his come, lingering in my mouth, flashed in my brain a remembered Eucharist; receiving the sacraments from his body; to give myself to the homage of his boots, as it seemed so meet and right so to do, reestablishing my original need to serve him. I knew I had to serve him; to worship at his boots, and see to his comfort. Love had nothing to do with it; reason, judgement and purpose did. My only need in this world was to serve and pleasure this big ugly man. Did I love him? The gentleness and strength of the ugliest of beast is hard not to love. I knew I would sleep well in his big arms. "You want me to hold you in my arms while you get your's, Sweet baby? You have permission if'n you like." "If you don't mind, Sir, I'd like to save it 'til we get to a motel where you can fuck the meanness out of me." "Sounds good to me, Son. You know old Booger will take care of you; fuck you good and hard; won't stop neither 'til he gets every bit of it out a' you." he replied in the deep gravely voice of his that could almost make me come by itself. He was shamefully stealing kisses as he spoke softly to me. "I'd sure appreciate it, Sir. I got a powerful lot backed up in me. May take several sessions or you could release your beast on me. He always could get it out of me, PDQ." "We'll get us a motel room where we can lock the door then I'll let him off his leash." we laughed softly and I kissed him gently again. I warned Red of my flashbacks and sat bolt upright once during the night. I didn't yell or scream but he held me tight and spoke my name to establish my reality. When I realized where I was I started crying in his arms as he comforted me. "There, there, Cowboy. Old Booger ain't gonna' let nothing bad happen to you ever again. You got my word. What'n the name of holy hell did they put you through over there, Son?" I didn't answer. I just kissed him on the cheek and tried to go back to sleep. I drifted into a deep sleep and Buck came to me. I saw my love and my heart leaped to my throat. He took me in his big cowboy arms and held me as I cried. "God, I've missed you, Buck. I haven't been able to let you go." "I know, Cowboy. That's why the Old Man let me come to you. You ain't a' gonna' let me go neither until you give yourself to this man, Booger Red. He needs you right now and it's important you give yourself to him, ride with him and be his slave. You will and later he's gonna' piss you off som'um powerful so's you don't wanna' be his slave no more. You have to swallow your pride and continue being his slave. You will but you'll fight him every step of the way. Later you'll find out why you must be with him. You'll give yourself to him again in your own way." He laughed wickedly like he knew something he wasn't telling me that was funnier'n shit. "He's a good man, Cowboy. A good hearted man that needs and deserves your love. He's suffered much in his life you will never know about. He's found favor in the eyes of the Old Man. You have my blessing, Darlin,' to give yourself to him; to love and serve this man. Hell, makes me no never mind who you love over here. The Big Man gave me first dibs on your ass when you get's over here. That little buckaroo butt's got ole Buck's brand on it." "What am I to do then, Buck? Tell me." "I can't tell you what to do. That's why the Big Chief gave you free will; the ability to make decisions; to choose for yourself. He's allowed me to come and help you a little 'cause he feels so damn bad you had to go through what you did, losing us and all. He's damn proud of you Darlin' and so am I. God loves you a powerful lot, Billy. Follow that big heart of yours, Cowboy. Don't worry about my dad. I'm with him right now and he's having enough to keep him busy hiding Mrs. Russell's boy from the draft. He may be buying Tim a bike and sending him to Master Jeb. Tim's gay and will become the slave to an important Master. He must be hidden at all cost until the war's over or other circumstances occur. My dad is stronger right now than I've ever known him to be, thanks to you. He carries both of us in his heart." "I'll do my best by Booger Red, Buck, but should we try'n help Tim?" "If you guys want to go that way I'll make sure he hooks up with you. Don't try to see dad while you're with Booger. It would be too hard on him to see you with someone else. You don't know how much my old man loves you, Cowboy, and--- you have no idea how much I love you for loving him. Right now, you have to be with Booger Red, trust me." "You know I do, Buck, but I also miss your dad." "Don't stop missing him, Cowboy. That's important. Keep missing him but stay with Red right now." Buck started fading. "I have to go, Cowboy. Kiss me once more before I go. Oh, by the way, Sweetheart, I've heard every word you said to me by my grave. I'd never tire of listening to the cowboy I love. I knew you'd get the message with the pictures on the head stones. Ken thought that up. I knew you could explain it to my Dad, help him let go, find resolution and some peace. You did a good job, too. Though his love for you he has hope and he's slowly letting me go. His heart's at peace. I love you, Billy." I kissed him. I could taste him and I could smell his body. His unmistakable unique, signature scent that every man has. "Don't go, Buck, stay a while longer." I was crying holding him as he began to fade in my arms. "No! Don't go Buck, please stay..." "There, there. It's all right, Son." Red spoke to me as he held me. He heard me speak to Buck and ask him not to go. I was crying again in Red's arms and apologizing. "No need for apologies. Just, tell me later about Buck. Is he the son of the man that competed against you and your uncle in Ft. Worth for the national finals?" "Yes, Red, he was." "And you teamed up with his dad for the Prescott fourth of July rodeo this year, right?" "Yes, Sir." I didn't say anymore. He just held me. I went back to sleep. The next morning we were up early. Most of the other group drank pretty hard and were sleeping in. We made coffee and broke camp to travel on to Reno. We decided to have breakfast on the way. I was surprised the big man the others called Cal was up before we left. He walked over to our camp site with his hat in his hand and introduced himself. I took his hand. "I apologize for last night, Cowboy. Drink is no excuse for rude behavior but your good looks are. I couldn't take my fucking eyes off you and my dick wanted you in the worst way; still does. I tried to make love to it myself thinking about you but it just spit at me." We both laughed at his joke. I was pleasantly surprised, he had a sense of humor. "I had no idea you were the young man Booger was looking for. If you'd a' gone with me I would've made sure nothing happened to you. I had to come over and tell you I'm sorry and how impressed I was the way you handled yourself last night. To me though, it was like pouring gas on a raging fire. Your strength made me want you all the more." I shook Cal's hand and told him not to worry about it. If we'd met under different circumstances he would've only had to ask. He laughed and patted me on the back. "I'll keep that in mind, Cowboy. I'm sorry for your loss in Nam. I was over there for six months but didn't see action. I was sent from Korea and mustered out at the last. Things were just beginning to get bad. I remember it being a hell hole of a country. It never stopped raining the whole time I was there. I was miserable in that fucking jungle heat. I still have fungus rot I can't get rid of." When Cal wasn't drinking and trying to play 'bad ass biker dude' he was a decent, good looking, above average intelligence man that could easily worm his way into your ass. He asked Red if he could ride with our family for a while. Once old Booger had his say and let a man know what he would and wouldn't put up with he didn't hold any grudges. "Sure, Cal, come on. We're gonna' stop for breakfast in Yuba City then on to Reno. You'll spot us at the truck stop. Join us." Cal did join us and left his other biker buddies behind. He accompanied us on to Reno where Red knew a motel owner he rode with for years. We stayed there. He knew if we were with Red we weren't the kind of bikers that would tear the place apart. It was nice to have a real bed and shower. I really couldn't have been more happy to see Red. I don't know to this day what that ugly, old man had over me but he brought out the animal in me. I know I brought out the beast in him. He would talk dirty to me with that deep, bass voice that had a growl to it even when he was being nice. Damn, it would turn me on. Red turned me on. I forgot how much he did turn me on. We didn't get out of bed for five days except to clean up and go get something to eat with our family. Sometimes, our brothers would take pity on us and bring us sandwiches and beer. They laughed at us and shot wicked but funny zingers at us. They were right and we laughed with them. They were happy for us. Poor Cal just couldn't understand what I saw in old Booger. He was mystified. He was a fine looking man and let me know numerous times he would like to take me to his bed. Big Red noticed too and we laughed together. Cal would never know what a fucking animal Red could be. Cal didn't interest me in the least. I was gettin' what I needed. "You want him, Cowboy?" Red surprised me by asking. "Not particularly, Red. What could he give me, you don't? 'Sides that, he's too pretty. He ain't no magnificent beast.'" "That's why you won my heart, Billy. You never looked at anybody else when you were with me. I knew you belonged to your uncle. You were his slave but when you gave yourself to me it was ugly, old Booger you were giving yourself to. That first night I met you, you looked me deep in the eyes like you were speaking to my soul and called me your Master. It tore me up, Son. You're still doing it and it still tears me up. I told myself I wouldn't get greedy and let nature take it's course, give you room, some space, go with the flow of things, and take it easy with you. Fuck! I can't do that. What I feel for you, Cowboy, I have to get it out whether it scares you to death or not. I gotta' take the chance before I get in any deeper. I ain't never loved nobody like I love you, Cowboy. I want you to belong to me. I want to own you, Son. I want you to become my property. I want you for my slave. I want to take care of you, keep you from harm's way, protect you, make sure nothing bad happens to you again, love only the handsome young cowboy riding by my side and spoil you rotten. I want to be your Master, Billy. I need to be your Master." Red gently kissed me. "I don't know if I can, Red. You have no idea what I've been through in the last three and a half years. I'm not the same, innocent kid you loved in Glen Rose. I fell in love with my buddy, Buck. I never lied to you Red. I told you that week you visited me in Mason I thought I was falling in love with Buck. Well, it happened. We went through boot camp together and were in the same platoon in Nam with two other good men we loved. They were three men I loved more than life itself, Red. They were my buddies. We were the only safety, the only sanity, we had. We spiraled around each other's souls trying against all obstacles to beat the odds. We marched right up to death everyday and stood so close we could smell the foul odor of his breath. We kept each other from harms way until one day, my world, my universe, my reason for living forgot. It forgot, for one brief moment, how to surround and protect those I loved. They were taken away, in and instant, and I lost my future. I'll be honest with you, Red, I planned to spend my life with Buck when we got back. I didn't know how I was gonna' tell you 'cause there was still love in my heart for you. You don't just turn love on and off like a water faucet. I went through the terrors of the damned with those three men. Unimaginable horrors I may never recount to a soul. We only had three, lousy, months and we would've been home free. Three, lousy months, Red. They gave their lives for me. They threw themselves on top of me to protect me. I don't know why, Red?" I started crying. "I don't know why? Oh God, Red, I don't know why? Buck turned to grab me 'cause my leg was shot out from under me and I was falling. Buck took a hit in the back, right through his heart. I saw the bullet exit his chest, Red. It was like his chest just exploded and came straight at me. Bits and pieces of his heart hit me in the face as I turned and fell on my front. With his heart gone, Buck managed to crawl on top of me to protect me and told me he loved me before I felt him breathe his last." I paused for a long moment. Red was silent. "I sometimes think I can't go on. I'd be better off dead. I wanted to go with them. I begged them to take me with them and they wouldn't. Sometimes I feel dead without them. What's the difference? Why the hell did God let me live without Buck. I loved him so much, Red, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him? It isn't fair, Red. It just isn't fair." I was crying pretty badly. Red took me in his arms and held me. I hadn't broken down with anyone like that since Leon. "Then Buck was the man you fell so deeply in love with? Dan Yates's son? Now you feel you can't love anyone else or can't give yourself to someone else? Is that it?" "In a nutshell, Red. I was going to come looking for you after I'd said my goodbyes to my buddies. It hasn't been easy, Red. I've had to take it one step at a time. I'm better than I was for gosh shakes. I was a mess when I got back; my grief damn near killed my dad. He watched me day in and day out spiral into my own hell and couldn't do anything to help his kid, his child, his boy he raised by himself all those years. I'm not there yet but I'm trying. I take three steps and fall back two but at least I've made one step forward. I couldn't see you before now 'cause I couldn't handle trying to get better and try to pick up were we left off. Still don't know if I can. I visited each one's grave and try as I might, I couldn't do it. I couldn't say goodbye to them. I loved 'em too much. I even stayed the summer with Buck's dad in Tucson to try to say goodbye to Buck but I couldn't; still haven't. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever be able to." Red was quiet for a long time just staring out the window. Red spoke, slightly above a whisper with his head bowed, "I had no idea what you went through, but I'm not a stranger to the horrors of war, Son. I've smelled the same foul odors you speak of, up close and personal. I've had my buddy's blood all over me, from head to toe. I still dream about it today. It never goes away. It gets easier with time but the hole in your heart will always be there. You just have to learn to live with that hole. In some ways I guess that's why I'm a biker so I can keep running from the pain. I never feel as free as I do when I'm on my bike. That probably accounts for eighty percent of the scooter bums out there. Look at you. That bike you bought represents freedom to you;---running from those horrors. You feel at ease. Your mind doesn't torment you when you're on the bike. You're able to let everything go, right?" Red paused for a moment. I nodded affirmative to him. He sat there for a minute or two and finally spoke again. "An old man, ugly as me, don't get much chance to love someone, Billy. Especially somebody as pretty and giving as you. A kid's good looking as you can have any man he wants. I know I don't offer a lot in the looks department but there was something that felt right between us. It still does. Look at us, we haven't been able to leave this damn bed for five days. Every time I start to get out of bed I feel an arm pulling me back, but it's not just you, Sweetheart. I can't get enough of you either. Neither one of us can believe it. Every time we do it, it keeps getting better. We start to do it again and I think, "Naw, no way;---can't be better than the last one, but it is. Let Booger Red love you, Son? Give yourself to me, accept me as your Master. Ride by my side and be my slave. You know I love you and as confused as you are, I know somewhere inside you still love me and feel the need to be my slave. There's got to be something there, Cowboy. Two people can't have sex for five fucking days like we've had and not feel something. It's like you said, Billy, you can't switch love off and on; leastwise, I can't. I'm still in love with you from three years ago and the last five days hasn't done a whole hell of a lot to dampen that flame. I've never had sex with anyone that feels as right as you, Son. What I've seen, what I've heard, and what you've told me makes me want to love you all the more. I'm not saying lovin' your old beast is gonna' smooth out all your rough spots but I'd like to think if you accepted me as your Master, it might help. Most importantly, Billy, for your own sake, don't turn away from me. You don't want to admit it but you need me, Son. Maybe I was wrong to try to find you when you first got back and force myself on you;---I see that now. Your brother, Wes, slapped me upside the head with a two by four to get my attention and then gave it to me straight. Funny,--- of all my brothers, a little slave trainee brother, no bigger'n a minute, had the balls to tell me his mind and get through to me. That kid worships you, Cowboy. Can't say's I blame him. Bottom line, Cowboy. I had a slave years ago. He left me and broke my heart. I've been a loner all these years. I've had my share of slaves fall in love with me and want to ride by my side, but Cowboy, in all those years I never asked one of 'em to be my slave. I never wanted to buy a slave like a lot of men do. Maybe I should have rather than carrying a torch for a slave I could never have again. I was like you in a way, I couldn't let go of a ghost, my slave from years ago. I spent a third of my adult life trying to get over him. We may never totally get over those loves in the past but I saw in you a chance to love again and I'm offering you the same chance. None of the slaves I went with ever felt right. I didn't find one I wanted more from than a couple of good hot fucks. I ain't trying to win you by flattery or by blowing smoke up your ass. I'm just trying to tell you I know we have a strong draw to each other and I think we owe it to ourselves to try. Goddamn it, Cowboy, the only time my heart has felt right in the last four years is when I think of you. The beast inside me wants to lock a collar around your neck, with a dog tag that say's 'Property of Booger Red.' I'd throw the fucking key away and attach a short leash to your collar. That's 'cause I love you so much I couldn't stand for you to ever be very far from me. All you have to do is say the word. I won't try'n force you to be my slave;---wouldn't be good for either of us that way, you have to want to be my slave, Son. You must be proud to accept me as your Master. You must be content to be owned by me. You must want to serve and pay homage to me with all your heart; otherwise, our bonding will have no life. "Red, you know I think the world of you, but you notice I haven't called you 'Master' a lot or shown you the respect a Master deserves. You deserve more, and I don't think I can give it right now. I love you and can ride by your side. I will as long as you need me, but I can't be your slave. You can call me your 'cowboy' if that's good enough but I can't and won't call you 'Master.' I promise I'll never look at another man as long as I'm with you. I'll give you as much love as you ask for, but please don't ask the other from me. Isn't that enough? Look Red, you're not dealing with the old cowboy here. The man you're looking at, and asking to love you is, at best right now, an emotional cripple. You realized that when I was in your arms the other night. It frightened the shit out a' you and you ain't afraid a' nothing, Red." "Yeah, Kid, it did. I saw the sweet baby I loved several years ago in shambles. I wanted to beat the world up I was so angry for what you had to go through, but remember,---just remember who it was tried to get you to run away with him. Would you have run away with me if you knew what you'd have to go through?" I looked at him with the tears streaming hopelessly down my face and slowly shook my head. "No, and miss loving Buck? Never! I'd go again tomorrow knowing I only had that amount of time with him, Red." He sat there for a minute and shook his head like a defeated man. "Red, isn't what I'm offering enough? To go with you, be with you, love you, respect and obey you? I just can't call you my Master and I won't be called your slave. Call me your Cowboy. Whatever." "I've tried to be as honest with you as you've been with me, Billy. I guess I've grown to be a selfish old man. No, that's a lie, I've always been pretty selfish when it comes to certain things; who I let close to me or want to share my life. My chosen slave must be proud to call me his Master. I've dreamed too long of having it all with you. Walker warned me, Jeb warned me, Big Jim, Beryl, and Bull all warned me and little Wes was the only one who got through. I ain't gonna' force a situation on you, Son. It has to be your choice but as ugly as I am, I'm still a proud man and a Master. I'm proud of the man that's honest, loves his brothers, does what he can for them and tries to stay out of trouble. I'm proud of my abilities as a Master and won't give what I have away without some consideration in return. I may be ugly, Son, but I'm a damn good Master. I take the job seriously, and I do it well. My pride in those things is about all this old man has left to call his own. If I've learned one thing all these years it's that old saying. 'To thine own self be true.' My truth is, Cowboy, I'm not willing to settle for crumbs from your table. If you want a Master, me or any other man, you won't be in charge, he will. You won't come to him and set your price like you have with me. I'm sorry but I'd rather ride alone than have a potential slave, no matter how pretty nor how much my heart ached for him, dictate to me how much of himself he'll let me have. If I allowed that to happen, I wouldn't be much of a Master. You'd quickly lose respect for me, and you'd only be playing at being my slave. Sorry, Kid, that dog don't hunt with me. If'n you're all that mixed up, you can't let go of Buck, you're in love with his dad, can't make up your mind, then I can't do much for you. You're not ready for my love. I might as well be pissing in the wind, Son. You need more time to sort things out? That's fine, I understand but I'm not gonna' fool myself nor hope anymore that you're gonna' see things my way and be my slave. You have to make up your mind what you want. I play for keeps, Cowboy. This time, I can't do it for you. What would you think if we got together for these five days and I told you I could only fuck you with half my dick? You couldn't have the other half 'cause I was saving it for a dead slave. Think you'd buy that? As greedy as your little ass is, I can answer that one for you. Did you tell Buck he could only have half of you 'cause the other half belonged to your beast? No? I didn't think so. If it were another man, I might consider challenging him for you, but I can't fight a dead man, Cowboy. And, if you've given yourself to his dad without giving me a chance, then you never really felt much for me to begin with. I suppose I've been a foolish old man thinking that a cowboy pretty as you could love an ugly, old man like me. I guess this last five days has been my imagination that maybe you wanted to become my slave. Now, I see your beast is a novelty; a good, hot fuck you'd like to keep around on a short chain for little or no investment on your part. Really? Well, sorry, Cowboy, it's been a great five days but I'll get cleaned up and get out of here. I don't mean to be cruel, Son, nor do I wish ill for you. I love you far too much for that, but I can't afford to spend anymore time with you because the price I pay to walk out that door is gonna' cost me enough. I'll leave you with our family, Sweetheart, 'cause old Booger's gotta' hit the road. After a while, when I think I can handle seeing you again as a brother then we might run into each other. I'll be a gentleman but I won't ever share a bed with you again. Not to punish you, Darlin,' no hard feelings, it would be too damn hard on me. I'll never put myself in this position with you again. I came too close to owning the candy store to settle for a couple of pieces. Once upon a time you ask a beast to make your choice for you, remember? He made that choice, Cowboy. He's standing here holding the deed to the candy store. By rights, he owns it, and you want to offer him a couple of pieces? Sorry, Son, you can have your deed back it's worthless." Red grabbed a towel and headed for the shower leaving me standing there with my mouth open. I certainly didn't expect that response from him. I stood there numb, not able to move, thinking to myself. I couldn't cry. I couldn't be angry. I felt nothing. Then it occurred to me, I did feel something;---empty. Hollow, vacant, nothing inside, gone, no forwarding address. I'd never had my young ass nailed to a wall like Booger Red just did. The thing that ate at my gut the worst was, he was right. I wanted to be angry with him, shout and call him bad names but I couldn't. The more I wanted to, the more I couldn't. The man was right. Give me half his dick, indeed. My greedy ass, indeed. ("True, but how rude." I laughed at myself. "You deserved that, you cocky little asshole. The old man hit you were you live and you can't handle it." I thought. I had to admit, Red's cock was an E-ticket ride. My ass was always hungry. He couldn't feed it enough.) Nailed me to the fucking wall, he did. That son of a bitch. I couldn't figure out whether I wanted to kick his ass or suck it. Red got into the shower. I fell to my knees and clasp my hands together as if I were going to pray. I didn't. It was the first time in my life I heard the voice of God and, was He pissed? I don't ever want to receive another transmission form the Big Giant Head like that. Not only did Red nail me to the wall, His Almightiness had a few choice words and finished the job. I'm glad he did. He yanked me up by the short hairs and told me how the old cow ate the proverbial cabbage. Then the whole thing got funny to me and I started laughing; not at Red, certainly not at God but at myself. I didn't want to admit how much I wanted the ugly, old man, my magnificent beast and the bastard just called my bluff. He knew damn well what he was doing and the thing I cared most about him, his control, had just kicked my ass up between my shoulder blades. I damn well deserved it. The ball was not only in my court he rammed the damn thing down my throat. The Enola Gay didn't carry a more attention getting payload than he just dropped on me. I needed his control, and he knew it. That was part of his cock assuredness that I was drawn to like a moth to a flame. Unless I gave my unqualified, unconditional consent to be his slave, I would never have what I so desperately needed. I needed what he just did to me. I thought to myself, 'Okay, I'll accept God's anger but did He really have to chew my ass out like that? Wouldn't a nice heart to heart chat have done just as well? Well, he allowed Buck to come to you and tell you to give yourself as a slave to Red. You listened but you didn't do it. Of course, he has every right to be pissed.' "Your Holiness," I prayed, "I deserved every word of that including the part where you called me a 'twit', Sir. I'll try to do better, I promise." I realized what I thought Wes needed in a Master, a jack-boot disciplinarian, was the same thing I needed. Red was the best man for the job. He was right, I needed him but he wouldn't have my respect until I acknowledged and accepted him as my Master. It was a wake up call. This man has what you need and is willing to make sure you get it, but you're going to have to pay his price. You insulted a good man, a Master, the likes you'll probably never run across again, by putting a price tag on yourself. If I were him I wouldn't buy it either. He told you the first night you were with him, life is a trade off, nothing is free. Was I willing to pay his price for what I needed? Bet your ass I was. I'd been a fool to think I could even suggest such a stupid thing to a man as strong willed as Red. Red may have been ugly to most people but he knew his own self worth and wasn't going to sell himself cheap. The price I'd offered wasn't even market value for a Master of Red's experience, qualities and apatite. My dear old dad was right. I'd be damn lucky to have a Master like Red shape my ass up. I needed direction in my life and Red was the man that could give it to me. "You better think fast, Kid," I told myself. "He's gonna' be out of that shower in a minute and your gonna' have to pull more than a fucking rabbit out of a hat to convince him not to go. How about trying a new approach with him? Honesty, mixed with a good bit of humility and a dash of humor. He couldn't have been more honest with you. Do you love him? Yes! Do you want him for your Master? Yes! Do you want to totally commit to being his slave? I will! Then what the fuck are you waiting for? Go in there, grab your Master's towel and be his slave. Talk to the man. Apologize, build his self esteem, tell him his worth and importance to you. Tell him he was right and that's why you need him for a Master. I remembered Buck's words, "He's a good man, Cowboy. Let him be your Master. Give yourself to him. Be his slave. Love him. You have my blessing." I walked into the head as Red turned off the shower. I stood there with his towel waiting for him. He stepped out and looked at me funny but didn't say anything. He let me dry him and rub his back for him. I didn't hurry, took my time, pampered him but I could feel his suspicions. I was on my knees gently drying each foot individually; placing one then the other on my leg to support it. Without looking at him I spoke respectfully and quietly, " Master, I know I've disappointed you. I'm deeply sorry for that, but may a humble slave ask you to consider a favor" I asked contritely. "What's that, Son?" "Make sure they spell 'Cowboy' correctly on the dog tag you plan to put on my collar." Red got this half grin on his face. Nodded his head once. "I'll make sure it's correct, slave." he grabbed me around the waist, made me kneel in front of him as he sat there, put his big, tattooed arms around my neck and kissed me so gently he started me crying. I let it all out and sobbed in his arms. He knew I'd let go and I would honor his deed. He was correct, a contract existed between us. I'd agreed to that contract several years ago. It didn't matter how young I was at the time, a contract is a contract. He was right and God confirmed it. By rights, he owned me. In the eyes of God I was his property. Nothing more was said until dinner that evening in a small restaurant where we pulled several tables together. My Master stood and asked for everyone's attention. "Gentlemen, brothers. Cowboy, has requested me to consider accepting him as my slave. He's requested I consider becoming his Master." Red looked at me and smiled. "I have considered and decided to grant his request. I will take Cowboy for my slave and I will become his Master. We would like to request our Clan Master's approval and blessing. When we return to the motel if you'll join us in our room we'll ask Master Beryl to bless our bonding. I'm considering a more formal bonding ceremony later after I've had a chance to train my new slave several months." They all applauded, toasted the two of us and asked me to speak. I looked to my Master for a cue. He nodded his approval. I stood. "My family, Cal, I'm proud and honored that Master Red has decided to grant my request to become my Master and allow me to serve him as his slave. I feel fortunate to have such a fine man as Master Red own me. I'm humbled and proud to consider myself the property of such a worthy Master. I'll try to serve him with love and dignity to make him proud of me and as a further reflection on my family that you may be proud of me, too. I wouldn't be to this point of being able to give myself to him if it were not for each one of you at this table. You all have been good, kind, generous, supportive, forgiving and understanding to a fault. There are no words to express my gratitude for what you've done for me. Perhaps, the simple phrase, I thank you, goes a long way. So, I thank you, Gentlemen, from the bottom of my heart and I love you all." Again they applauded and toasted us again. Our family gathered in our room in the motel and Master Beryl placed his hands on us and blessed us. Everyone had to hug and kiss us including Cal. He seemed truly happy for us. I think he finally gave up. He was taken with our family and felt increasingly comfortable with us. I became Red's slave and accepted him as my Master. I held nothing back from him. Likewise, he trusted and opened himself to me. We didn't get out of bed for another two days. We finally got out of the room and decided to go gambling with the rest of the guys. I took three hundred dollars to gamble and knew I wouldn't spend another dime if I lost all of it the first thirty minutes; however, I was on. I started winning and couldn't lose. I managed to run three hundred dollars into several thousand playing roulette. I had a natural affinity for picking straight up winning numbers; thirty to one. I think I had more than a little help from my celestial cowboys. Red and I were playing by ourselves at a table when a man with long robes and a traditional Arab head dress sat across from us and smiled. He was a drop dead, handsome man with the dark olive skin and pale blue eyes. A striking contrast. He had strong, hyper-masculine features which set him apart from the average Arab man. The pit boss clapped his hands, and a large stack of chips were placed in front of him. He started playing stacks of chips all over the place. I would place maybe five on one number. Red would usually cover at least one of my bets but it was okay, he was with me. We were winning heavily. The Arab was losing heavily. Red and I were laughing and joking, but the poor Arab had a couple more stacks of chips brought to him and signed a receipt for them. He lost them all, but we kept winning. We played to ourselves and didn't call attention to his losing. Red kept calling me 'Cowboy' and the man would look at me funny each time. Then Red called me 'Billy' once and the man smiled knowingly. I spoke to my Master as Master Red or Master. The Arab was curious but never asked anything. At a roulette table it's considered courtesy not to cover someone else's bet without first asking. The Arab asked in perfect English if he might cover my bets. I deferred to my Master and Red told him it would be fine. The term 'my Master' didn't pass the gentleman without notice. He began covering each bet I made and not with just a few chips but a stack at a time. He started winning along with us. He was winning heavily. He didn't stop or speak until he had four or five huge piles of chips. He seemed satisfied and asked the pit boss to cash him in. He shook Red's hand and mine thanking us for allowing him to cover my bets. He asked where we were staying and Red told him. He turned to leave then turned back, looked at me, smiled and remarked, "Good to see you again, Mr. Gunn." Red's mouth dropped open and I stood frozen, stunned. Then he was gone. I turned to Red and shrugged my shoulder. The pit boss came to us. "His Highness Prince Abdul Allah-ben Faisel wished me to give you each these three chips." We thanked him and continued our gambling. We were tired and wanted to join our friends for dinner. We took our chips to the cashier to cash in. I went first and won several thousand dollars. I handed her the three white chips that was a gift from the Arab gentleman. "These chips were given to me by an Arab gentleman, Ma'am. I have no idea how much they're worth. Could you cash those in for me, too?" She chuckled to herself and smiled sweetly. "How would you like that, Sir? Cash or check?" "Cash'll be fine, Ma'am." "I'll have to get more money from my boss, each chip is worth ten thousand dollars." "What?" Asked Red looking at me in amazement. "SON OF A BITCH!" he yelled! "Sorry Ma'am!" he quickly added. "No problem." she giggled. "The Prince can be a generous man." "I'll say!" I said. "Well, Ma'am, you'd better get more 'cause I have three of 'em, too." Red added. "How 'bout two cashier's checks for thirty thousand each?" she asked sweetly. "Could you please make mine for twenty-five and five thousand cash?" I asked her. "Mine, too, please?" requested Booger. "That'll be fine." she replied smiling. It took her no time and the checks were ready. I had the cashier lady make mine to Billy Gunn or Dan Yates. As she counted out the cash she kept giggling and losing her place. "I'm sorry, gentlemen, I apologize but this has happened to me a couple of times when the prince was gambling here and he's been generous to someone. We usually have to call the paramedics to revive them. You two seem to be taking it well." We couldn't wait to get to our family who were gambling in another part of the house but first Red grabbed me and hugged me. "It's a sign, Cowboy. You're my good luck. Look at this, sixty thousand dollars." We found Big Beryl and Big Jim who were playing black jack at a table. "You guys win anything?" Big Beryl asked casually. Red winked at me as he hitched up his levis, shifting his weight, first on one foot and then the other. "Weeell,---let's just say dinner is on Cowboy and me this evening. Drinks, biggest damn steak you can eat, with all the trimmings." I'd won close to eight thousand on my own and Red covered almost every bet. He'd won about the same. We each had thirteen thousand cash in our pockets. "Really? How much?" asked Big Jim as the others gathered. "Seventy five thou." said Booger in an understated toss off. "What?! No way!" said Bull. We both whipped out the cashier's check and wads of cash. "SON OF A BITCH!" said Cal and Charlie. Master Earl and Zack just stood there with their mouths open. We took them all to dinner and drinks. We got wasted but we had a great time. We told them the story of the Arab prince, him covering my bets and the three chips for each of us worth ten thousand apiece. They were amazed. Booger and I rode back to the motel with our family. Everyone had enough to drink, gambled themselves out and were ready for bed. There was a note on our door for Red to check with the clerk at the front desk. He looked funny but went to the front. Everyone came in our room for one last drink and to say goodnight. Cal got me aside and asked me if I minded if he asked my Master to share me with him. I thought he was over lusting after me and didn't know what to say. "I don't mind, Cal, I'm sure if my Master ordered me to serve you I would enjoy it, but you must go though him. As you know, I'm his slave now and I obey only him. I also love my Master, Cal." I don't think he wanted to hear the last part but said he would ask him. Booger returned in a few minutes and had a card in his hand. It was addressed to Master Red and Mr. Billy Gunn. He smiled as he handed me the card. I read the card in disbelief as Big Red explained to our family and Cal. "It's an invitation from His Royal Highness Prince Abdul Allah-ben Faisel for the cowboy and I to join him at his penthouse suite at the Riviera for dinner tomorrow evening. RSVP. "Are we going, Master Red?" I asked smiling at Cal who noted that I deferred to Booger as to his wishes. "Would you like to, Cowboy?" "What ever you decide will be fine with me, Master Red?" He finally clicked as to what I was doing as he caught Cal's expression out of the corner of his eye. "Very well, let's sleep on it and I'll notify his Royal Highness first thing in the morning." Red said with authority in his voice. I had to love the old man for that. "You have to go, Red!" everyone said. "Yeah, Booger, he was really generous to you and Cowboy. You have to go and thank him." "We'll see. I'll consider it this evening, make a decision and you'll all know in the morning." Red was commanding and final in his tone. I smiled and winked at him to let him know he had my full support. He stood a bit taller. That evening we had wonderful sex. We were on a roll. I gave my all to that ugly, old man who turned me on with his guttural animal voice. My old dick got rock hard the moment I pulled him into the shower to bathe him. He was like a raging bull himself. We didn't rush. I sucked him off once in the shower. He fucked me savagely twice and I sucked him off once more. It was the most sex I'd had with any one man in one evening in my life. It felt good. He felt good. I was glad to be with Red again. I was glad I came to my senses and became his slave. I was proud Red was my Master. He made me feel complete. He was thrilled the way I gave complete control to him. To be honest, I liked the idea of being Red's slave. I knew I could handle the job. It gave me a sense of belonging much like my clan did for me. To be Booger's personal property and for him to own me made my dick hard thinking about it. "Now that we're away from Cal and our family, my slave," he laughed a little, "may I have your opinion about tomorrow evening." he asked. "It's still the same, Master. If I'm to ride by your side, be your slave, the slave that you need and I need to be, I'll be by your side in all things. I'll follow your decisions. I'll be happy either way you choose for us, Master." He slowly took me in his big arms and kissed me gently. "I'm so glad you decided to become my slave, Cowboy. I haven't been this happy in a long time. It feels good to own a slave again. I'll be a good Master for you. I knew if you accepted me as your Master, it would become comfortable for you. I hope it is." "You're right, Master, it's feeling better every day." "All right, I've made my decision, let's go. Let's do it. We can at least show our gratitude for his generosity, but just think how much money he won by covering your bets, Cowboy. He made a fortune if everyone of those chips was worth ten thousand dollars. Of course, I gave him permission but you were the one that was calling the bets. You called four, thirty to one numbers in a row. How often does that happen?" "I think I had help, Master." "Really? Well, maybe, we don't need to tell him that. What if he takes a shine to you and wants to take you to bed. Somehow, he all ready knows your name." "You're my Master, Sir. If it pleases you to give me to him for an evening, to thank him for his generosity, then I'll obey. You might consider explaining I'm your slave. He comes from a part of the world where they would understand such things. As I remember, he wasn't an unattractive man. In any event, I'll obey you, Master." "Would you be uncomfortable if I gave you to him for an evening?" "I agreed to become your slave, Master Red in all things. That means if it pleases you to give me to him for an evening, I'll obey." "I may, Cowboy. What if he asked to buy you?" "Do you want to sell me, Master?" "Of course not! He doesn't have enough money." Red winked at me and laughed. "Awww, that's sweet, Master Red. Then you can answer that question. I trust you; I wouldn't have agreed to become your slave if I didn't trust you. I have faith in you, Master." Red raised an eyebrow and smiled. "You're right, slave, I can answer that but we can tell him we might be able to find him another man slave. Perhaps, Master Jim or Jeb would know of one?" Red stated. Red held me in his big, tattooed, arms. I always enjoyed being in Red's arms I got to see all those wonderful pictures up close and personal. I was fascinated with them when I first met him three years ago, but that fascination had turned into a major turn on. I loved Red's tattoos. It only added to his mystery of being a magnificent beast. We lay together on the bed and talked quietly about things for a couple of hours. "Cal is getting pushy, Master. He keeps sniffin' 'round me like a hound dog that wants to hump your leg. He's going to ask you if you'll share your slave with him. I told him I accepted you as my Master and he would have to go through you. If it pleased you to share me with him I would obey. "You did? I don't know why I sounded surprised. I've come to expect that from you. It's gonna' take me a while to get use to having a slave especially one as genuine as you. As far as Cal is concerned, I think he's too afraid of me to ask. Do you want to go with him?" "No Master. I told you before, he can't give me anything I'm not getting from you, but I'll leave that in your hands. I'll obey your decision. If you think it will ease the situation, I'll understand and do my best to please him. If not, then you must let him know, you won't share me." "I'll make a decision about Cal day after tomorrow. Let me have a little time to think about it. We have a lot to think about for tomorrow. How to dress? What to wear? Protocol?" I did what Buck said I must. I gave myself to Booger Red. I'd made a commitment to be his slave and accept him as my Master. Red seemed to be slow getting going but I sensed he was doing that for my sake. I had a feeling as time went on he would become more controlling and began to train me in his discipline. I looked forward to it. Red called early the next morning from the motel room and spoke to the prince's personal secretary. I couldn't help but hear his end of the conversation. Red discussed questions he was going to ask and ask for my input. I made a couple of suggestions;--- one he thought was good the other he rejected. I admired him for that. He was being my Master. "Yes, Sir, this is the gentleman Prince Faisel left a note for at the Cactus Motel to join him for dinner this evening. "Yes, Sir, we would be honored, Sir." "Yes, Sir, we can be ready by six." "Is there a preferred dress, Sir. We're nomadic bikers that don't carry a lot of formal clothes with us, Sir." "Yes, Sir, that'll be fine." "Is there protocol we should be aware of when addressing the Prince." "Yes, Sir. Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir. We'll be here at the motel in room three at six o'clock this evening and please thank the Prince for his gracious invitation. We'll look forward to seeing him again." "Damn, you did good, Master. I'm proud of you." He beamed as he smiled at me. "Dress is casual. What we had on yesterday will be fine. d We are to be picked up by the Prince's personal limo and the driver will give us protocol instructions. His secretary said the Prince is not a stickler for protocol especially if he's dressed in American casual clothes. The Prince himself will let us know his preferences. He only wears his traditional clothes when he's in public to command the respect he wants in this country." "Well, that's understandable. He certainly gained our respect." I laughed as Booger nodded his head in agreement. "Come on, slave. Let's jump in the shower, get dressed, and take our family to breakfast." Booger began to call me 'slave' in private which turned me on the way he growled the word. He still referred to me as 'Cowboy' in public and most times in front of our family. I agreed and we proceeded to the shower. I bathed him and toweled him dry. I was rubbing his back for him when there was a knock on the door. In marched our family including Cal with me still in the buff. Booger had his pants on. I dressed as Red explained he called and talked to the Prince's secretary and accepted his dinner invitation. Everyone let out a cheer that probably woke the rest of the motel. "Come on, Gentlemen, the cowboy and I are treating for breakfast as well." "No, you're not." said Big Jim firmly. "We're taking the two of you to breakfast." "Master? Do you think we could stop somewhere after breakfast and buy a new pair of jeans and a couple of nice shirts to wear this evening?" I asked him. "Sounds good to me, Cowboy, let's go have breakfast." He hugged me in front of Cal. Poor Cal had a wet spot in the crotch of his levis from watching me dress. It didn't go unnoticed by Red. After breakfast on the way back to the motel I asked Red if we could stop by the post office. I bought three money orders. One for three thousand, one for two thousand, and another for three thousand. I also bought some stamps. When we got back to the motel I sat down and wrote Dan Yates a short letter. Dearest Dad, A good and loving spirit helped me win heavily in Reno last night. Thirty-five thousand heavy. Spirit said you're planning to buy a bike for a wonderful, young man who needs to escape the draft. Please accept 'Loving Spirit's and my help. Enclosed is a postal money order to help with a bike for the young man. Buy him a nice one. Send him to Master Jeb. We'll find him and take care of him. We must not let what happened to Buck, Ken, Rowley, Wes and me, happen to him. I'm also sending a certified check in both our names for twenty-five thousand. Put it in our rodeo winnings account you opened in our names after Prescott. Use any or all of the money anyway you see fit. What's mine is yours. I love you, Dad. Your loving son, Billy I also wrote Mrs. Russell a short note. Dearest Mrs. Russell, I think my celestial cowboys helped me win heavily in Reno last night. I wanted to share my good fortune with the someone's I love. Use this any way you need but part of it must be spent on something nice for yourself. You deserve it. Take care of dad for me. All my love to you and Tim, Billy I decided not to tell my Master what I'd done unless he specifically asked and then I'd tell him the truth. If not I didn't see any need to possibly create jealousy or bad feelings. I wasn't being unfaithful to him by sending Dan money for Tim and putting my money in our rodeo account. I put the money orders in and took them to the post office. Booger didn't seem to pay too much attention to what I was doing and never asked. I guess he decided to give me some privacy. He did, however, see Dan Yates' name on the address and asked if I wrote him a letter. I told him a brief note with money to help buy young Tim a bike. He thought that was nice. "Do you love Dan Yates?" I didn't answer him. I just nodded 'yes.' "If you love him, why are you with me?" He pressed. "Because, I loved you first Master Red, still do. Why would you ask me that question? Haven't I agreed to accept you as my Master and become your slave?" "Yes,---" "And didn't you tell me you held a rightful deed to me?" Red began to get a 'I've been had.' smile across his face. "Yes, so---?" "You can love more that one person, Master. I loved you when Uncle Bud was still my Master." "That's true. You make a lot of sense sometimes, slave. That's part of why I love you. I may not always like the sense you make but there's no denying it makes sense. You have to remember, Cowboy, I'm old, ugly and somewhat insecure. I guess I need to be reassured you love me." "I do, Master, I do. Don't ever doubt my love for you. I'll never give you cause to doubt. Have I ever asked anything of you but your love?" "There you go, making sense again." he laughed as he hugged and kissed me. I wrote a third letter I didn't share with him either. It was to Master Walker. If Red had a hard time with my love for Dan Yates I didn't see any reason to share with him what I was about to do next. Dearest Master Walker and Xander, All is well. I'm on the road with Red and family. I have agreed to accept Red as my Master. Won big in Reno last night. Thirty-five thousand big. I still have around twenty-five hundred on your books for work. Please, use some of that money for the board and care of Dolly and Madison. I'm sending a money order for an additional three thousand dollars. (Thirty-five hundred should buy a brand new, 1968 Harley. Please add a bit from my earnings if it's not enough. I can forward more if needed.) Christmas is coming and I want to buy Leon a bike. I'll be in touch in the next week or so and please let me know if you need additional funds. I want him to have a full dress hog. Biggest mother they have on the floor with all the bells and whistles; however, it must have leather saddle bags. I don't want him forgetting he's a cowboy. My cowboy. Please, get a card for me and sign it: 'This is what you mean to me. Thank's for helping me find my way. Will always love you. Merry Christmas, your cowboy, Billy.' If it gets difficult to take care of Dolly and Madison let me know and I'll make arrangements to transport them to Dan Yates' ranch outside of Tucson. I'll come back and drive them out myself if necessary. Thanks for doing this for me. I can't tell you how much I love the two of you for loving me, caring about me, and believing in me. I thank God for your love every day. Your Cowboy There was no gift large enough or words grand enough to give or say to Leon for what he did for me. I saw him as my rock, my one solid, home base of reality. He reached down into the pit, extended his hand, and pulled me into his big heart for repairs. Most of all, he was a man of the Earth, a common man, a good man, that knew nothing of psychology or therapy, but he was intuitive enough from years of working with animals to tell when one was hurting. He knew that extending his hand and simply listening patiently for hours,----rarely commenting,---never condemning,---always being there, would slowly start to bring me back from the brink. Leon wasn't a saint, he was a man who cared. Sometimes that's all it takes to change a person's life and set them in a different, hopefully better, direction. I sat for a moment reflecting on my life at the Johnson ranch and how I'd come to think of it as a place of rebirth. It became the cradle of my young manhood. I was a child until I returned from Nam. All the horrors I witnessed didn't shape me into a man. I came back a crushed and disillusioned child with little or no desire to grow up. Why bother? The life I imagined and hoped for was gone forever. My childish selfishness made me cling to my pain; my sorrow over my loss. It was, in a way, a refusal to accept reality and go on with my life. It was easier to live with the hurt. It was horrible but when that's all you've known for several years you're afraid to let go because it's the only comfort you have. How could anyone find comfort in pain and sorrow? If you've known nothing but sorrow and misery for an extended period of time, misery becomes your happiness. It's hard to change or tell a person that's what their doing to themselves. They're perfectly happy with their misery, why would they want to change? These folks have been miserable for so long, they aren't happy unless they're miserable. Happiness and a better life has to be an understood concept to work toward. If you can't understand happiness or have someone show you the way, you may never find it. If you don't have someone take you by the hand and lead you to the path of maturity, you'll never grow up. Many who returned from Nam suffered as much or more than I did. They too, were sent over there no more than children; eighteen, nineteen years old and returned fractured souls. They were like me but unlike me;---many never grew up. Hell, what am I crowing about? After thirty years, I'm still trying. The aspect of facing the sometimes harsh reality of maturity, especially with little or no help, was too difficult for them to handle. Some tried and failed. They tried again and failed. Then came a time they didn't try anymore. They remained children in mature men's bodies. Never accepting responsibility, being suspicious of any authority figure, separate, apart, lonely and not being able to cope with people who might try to love them. They were brash one minute, then totally withdrawn the next. There never seemed to be a gray or safe area for their souls to dwell in long enough to establish a beach head on sanity to say nothing of maturity. I ran into many who became bikers. With few exceptions, they all fit this description. I saw many of them burn themselves out with drugs and alcohol. If that didn't get them, a fast bike would. Nothing was done for them. It was a dirty little war everyone wanted to forget as quickly as possible and the Vietnam Vets were too soon forgotten as well. They never made the transition back into society. They never grew up. They lived their lives running from the agony of a never ending childhood they were trapped in. They were, in essence, robbed of their maturity, their manhood. They became castrates of a society they couldn't adapt to. I suppose the very worst thing was, nobody gave a tinkers dam; no one cared. End Chapter 8~Booger Red & Cowboy Copyright 2003 Waddie Greywolf