By Waddie Greywolf

For some strange reason my company in basic training at Fort Ord were all
Texans except two. One was an Okie. We gave him a lot of shit about being from
Oklahoma. He gave as good as he got. He fit right in. 

"Texans hell!" he would bellow, "The way us Okies see it, Texas is just baja
Oklahoma, so don't gimme' no shit!"  Then he would fall out laughing.  Everyone
in the company liked him.  His name was Ken White; funniest man you'd ever
want to meet; had something outrageously funny to say about almost everything. 
He kept everyone in our company in stitches most of the time.  The other unusual
thing about my reporting for the draft was who arrived later for induction. After
saying my goodbyes, and the Johnson crew left,  Buck Yates and his dad
arrived. I saw them first and waved. They looked surprised to see me, walked
over and shook hands.

"Damn, Son! They get you, too?" asked his dad, Dan Yates, as he shook my
"'Fraid so, Mr. Yates, my family brought my draft letter with them but didn't
give it to me until after the rodeo.  If'n they had, you guys might a' won. Lot of
good winning's gonna' do either me or Buck,---now.  Glad to see you, Bro, and I
hate like hell to see you,---if you know what I mean." I told Buck.

"I do, Billy, I do, but I'm glad to see a friendly face, even if you and your dad
robbed us."  he laughed and slapped me on the back.

"Aww, hell, Buck! We just got lucky and you know it."

"Luck, hell!  Who're you kidding, Son?" interjected Mr. Yates, "You two were
the best. We watched you and your dad all year, (we never told the Yates' Uncle
Bud wasn't my dad) competed against you and him in fifteen or twenty rodeos,
and we watched you get better and better. When you guys beat us in Denver I
told Buck we'd better do some serious practicing.  We tried, Son, but we went up
against the best and lost.  Like Buck told me, 'Being number two ain't bad.' Billy,
would you consider doing me a favor?"

"Anything, Mr. Yates."

"Take care of my boy. Keep an eye out for him if you can.  He's a good boy,
but he has problems chewing gum and walking at the same time." he laughed at
his joke but underneath I knew he was worried about his son. "Truth is, Son, I'm
afraid for him. I'm afraid for both of you.  He don't like me to be maudlin but I love
him, Billy, he's all I have in this world that means a damn to me."

"Don't worry, Mr. Yates, we'll look out for each other. If'n I see he's gonna'
get brave I'll rope and hog tie him 'til it passes, and I hope ta' hell he'll do the
same for me."

"You got it, Cowboy." Buck said.  He didn't seem to be so lost or worried as
when they first walked into the induction center.

"See you after you check in, Bro. To tell the truth, Mr. Yates, I'm real glad to
see a friendly face."

"Well,---seeing's how we got no choice about this rodeo, if'n I had my
druthers of any buckaroo I'd want by my side, it'ud be you, Cowboy.  Hell, they
can't do nothing to us wranglers?"  I was shocked and flattered by Buck's bold
statement.  I wanted to believe him. I found myself blurting out a reply.

"Damn, Buck!  I was just think'n the same about you, Bro."   Buck grabbed
me and hugged me.  Then his dad, Dan Yates, gave me a big hug, too.  It almost
made me feel like I had family going to boot camp with me.

Buck was the only other man in our outfit that wasn't a Texan, but because
he and I were good friends, cowboys together, numbers one and two top team
ropers in the county, they accepted him as a Texan. Any real cowboy is
immediately accepted as Texan.

There were four of us who bonded in boot camp. We looked out for each
other. We helped each other and urged each other on. They were simple things
but meaningful things every cowboy on the circuit quickly learns.  You cheer your
buddy on when he rides and he does the same for you. Beside Buck and I, the
other two men were  Ken White the Okie,  and a big man from Bandera, Texas,
Rowley Twissleman.  We were all cowboys with rodeo experience. (Rowley,
pronounced Rau-lee, or Row rhymes with now)

Ken White rode bareback broncs and bulls.  He wasn't a big man, but
because he was gung-ho about everything,  you'd swear he was six feet tall.
Most times when someone is 'gung-ho' in a unit he's made fun of by the other
men 'cause he usually can't back up or  perform well enough to warrant such an

Not White!  He was athletic, quick witted, solved intricate problems quickly,
strong as a bull, didn't take shit off nobody, refused to take anything seriously
and was loved by everyone in the company. However, there was one person,
White took very seriously,---Rowley Twissleman.  He took one look at
Twissleman at the induction center and never left the big man's side; through
boot camp and Nam.  The Sergeant asked White one day if he and Twissleman
were queer. 

"Oh, God, I hope not, Sarge. There ain't enough chiffon in the state of Texas
to make this one a dress." White shot back.  The entire company was disrupted
for twenty minutes.  The Sergeant was so unprepared for White's come back, he
lost all composure and doubled up with laughter. He never asked again.

White pissed off the Sergeant daily and usually the three of us were
considered his co-conspirators.  One morning we were told to put on our dress
uniforms for an inspection.  We were going to participate in a base parade. He
went down the line checking every man.  He came to White and looked down at
his shoes.

"What'd ya' shine them shoes with, Son, a greasy rag?"

"No Sir, Sergeant! A chocolate bar!"  Sarge tried hard to keep a straight face
but finally ducked his head to laugh. He just told White, "Try to do better next
time, Son."--- As time went on, even the damn Drill Sergeant fell in love with
White until towards the last he'd refer to White as the model soldier everyone
should strive to be like.

Typically, when the other guys mocked him or razzed him for being Sarge's
pet,---he would have some irreverent comeback that would have his attackers
doubled up with laughter.  He not only became the Sergeant's favorite but the
mascot of the company.  Nobody had anything bad to say about White.

Rowley Twissleman was a big Swed by descent. Rowley looked like Buck in
one way.  He looked like a cowboy; even with his clothes off.  He was admired by
our entire company.  Twissleman didn't talk a lot; didn't have to, White did most
of the talking for both. 

He was a fine looking man and was razzed continually because he had the
single, biggest dick in the company.  It was a good two inches longer that the
next longest man and big around, too. (I never noticed but others said Buck's
was the next largest.)

Everyone referred to Rowley as B. D. Twissleman 'B. D' stood for 'Big
Dong'  they told him if'n he got one of his legs shot off in Nam he'd have a spare
to walk on!  The size of his cock was only one of the things that White loved
about Twissleman, but it was one of the biggest.
When you go through induction you're reduced to the least common
denominator, a piece of meat to be processed in the military's grinder. Doesn't
matter if you were two rodeo stars, a college football hero, or a concert violinist,
you all come out the grinder looking the same.

We took our physicals, got our shots, hair shaved off, and other demeaning
inspections I won't describe. Most times we stood waiting, assholes to belly
buttons. That isn't just a phrase.  We were literally standing pressed tightly
against each other's bodies.

White made sure he was standing in front of Twissleman with this self-
satisfied, stupid grin on his face.  Later, Twissleman laughed and told  us he had
to grit his teeth and think of anything else to keep from getting erect when his big
dick was pressed right into the crack of White's ass. 

Of course White didn't make it any easier for the big man by squeezing his
butt cheeks around Twissleman's cock. Twissleman finally leaned over and
whispered in White's ear, "If --you don't stop----that, I'm a' gonna' check your
oil with my dip stick."

"That's fine, as long as you do the lube job first, Cowboy."  White shot back. 
Rowley said it was at that moment he fell in love with White.  They became
inseparable as buddies and friends. 

The military won't admit it but they encourage strong friendships between
men.  They see it happening right under their noses but as long as there's no
overt sexuality they turn their heads the other way and chalk it up as two men
becoming buddies.  Hell, Buck and I were so demoralized by induction we quickly
bonded. We were asshole to belly buttons in front of Twissleman and White. 
Buck shocked the  hell out of me by leaning over my back and whispering in my

 "You know, Cowboy, you're a good looking  cowboy with your clothes on but
you're even better looking without them."

I didn't respond but I did smile at him. I told Buck later he didn't know how
close he came to getting us both thrown out as undesirables.  My ass started
twitching so bad I damn near threw him to the floor and sat on his dick.  White
thought that was a riot.  Buck and Rowley thought it was pretty funny, too.

White and Twissleman made a perfect pair.  Rowley was big, strong,
handsome and quiet.  White was smaller, energetic, gung-ho, funny, talkative,
good looking, social and fell deeply in love with the big Swed.  White brought out
Rowley's better qualities and Rowley rounded off the rough edges of White's
sometimes frenetic personality.

Twissleman could reign White in with a quick glance in his direction. White
would immediately shut up or tone down his act. By accepting Twissleman as a
social barometer and Twissleman needing White to make him more sociable they
formed a cooperative inter-dependancy that worked and was comfortable for
Rowley was the biggest of the four of us and a top notch cowboy.
Twissleman rode saddle broncs and bulldogged steers.  He became the 'heart' of
'the cowboys' because he had such a big heart.  There was no problem so big
Twissleman couldn't find a solution.  Most of the men came to him if they had a
problem and Rowley would patiently listen and either give advice or try to help

Most times he succeeded.   He wasn't big and dumb; not by a long shot.
Rowley was intelligent, almost as quick witted as White, and once in a great while
would level White with a one liner that would leave White floundering like fish out
a' water.

He was the only man in our company that could leave White without a come
back. Twissleman would nail his ass to the wall. Rowley reminded me of a line
from a poem I once read: "unless statistics lie, he was more brave then me, more
blonde than you."

The four of us became inseparable, entertaining each other for hours with
rodeo stories. Anytime there was a shit job to do the Sergeant had memorized
our names before all the others. Maybe it was because he caught White referring
to him as Sergeant Mom and the four of us laughing our ass's off.  Sarge was a
tough audience,  he didn't think it was funny at all.

"GUNN, WHITE, YATES, and TWISSLEMAN, front and center!"  Then we'd
be told the good news we were on KP or some other unpleasant job. We didn't
care. We liked being together and formed deep friendships for each other. We
got nicknamed 'the cowboys.'  Billy the Kid, Roddy Yates, Butch and Sundance.
White was Sundance. We also became the leaders of the company.  If the
sergeant wanted to make sure something got done he gave the job to 'the
cowboys,' and he knew it would be done right.

Boot camp wasn't as bad as any of us thought it might be. I came out
heavier, muscled out, and in better shape than I'd ever been in my life. My family
swore I was six inches taller when I came home from boot camp. Buck Yates
always was a stud to me, but he was transformed into a young God by the end of
boot camp.  I thought of him as 'sex on the hoof.' Prime, U.S. grade A cowboy
beef.  Damn, he was good looking; made my ass twitch and my dick drip.  Talk
about wanting to eat someone's ass. Buck had the most edible looking ass in the

We were doing some maneuver where we had to crawl over each other in
leap frog advancement to get to our objective.  I kept a hard-on the whole time
and Buck could feel it every time I crawled over him. He thought that was super
funny.  He was a great sport but could also kid me unmercifully.

"I suppose that means you wanna' stick that big buckaroo dick up my butt,
huh, Cowboy?"

"Oh, fuck no, Buck!  I got something else I wanna' shove up your ass as far
as I can get it."

"Yeah, what's that, Cowboy?"

"My tongue." I shot back.   Buck started laughing and I didn't think we were
gonna' be able to finish.

"Goddamn it, Cowboy!  Now you got me hard."  We almost got shot,  too. 

We knew we were falling in love. He was the first man my age who wanted to
love me.  He was so good hearted, giving, funny and loving I couldn't help falling
in love with him if I'd wanted to.  One other quality Buck had I never experienced
with anyone else my age.  He had a deep abiding, simple faith.  He believed. 

 Buck would have done anything in the world for me and I felt the same way
about him. I knew I had Booger at home but I couldn't help it.  I'd been thrown
into this situation with a cowboy that I'd lusted for a couple of years.  He became
my partner, best buddy, friend, and confident in boot camp.  We were about to be
sent into the bowels of hell.

We wanted that closeness; we needed it, because even though we didn't
want to admit it to each other we were scared to death.  We became closer than
friends, we became bonded brothers.  It was a natural thing to happen. 
Twissleman and White were the same.  There were at least six other pair of men
that bonded during boot camp.

Buck and I were hopelessly attracted to each other like opposite poles of a
bar magnet.  We couldn't do anything about it. There was absolutely no privacy. 
Sure didn't keep us from talking about it and playing grab ass though. We had
thirty days leave before reporting back to Ft. Ord.  You usually only get two
weeks but true to military intelligence, or lack thereof, we got two weeks extra. 
The way the Sarge explained it was more confusing than just to say somebody
fucked up.

I sent a couple of letters to Master Red in care of Johnson's Ranch in Glen
Rose,  and got one brief letter back from him.  I ask him to come see me in
Mason, my home town,  if he was going to be in the area  and spend a little time
with me.  I gave him a date of the second week.  I thought I could explain to Red
what happened in boot camp and tell him not to wait for me. I was caught on the
horns of a dilemma and didn't know what the hell to do.

Dear Cowboy,

I don't write to well. I know how to. I just don't do it much. For you, I'll make
an exception.  Getting your letter made me feel great. You know all my thoughts,
Cowboy. I keep thinking about the first evening we met.  Don't get much better'n
that. Of course, I'll come to Mason. Looking forward to seeing you again.  May
bring a couple of buddies with me.  You're in my thoughts, Son.

your beast,

Booger Red

True to his word, Booger and two other bikers pulled up in front of my house
accompanied by the sheriff of our county, my uncle, who led them over to show
them where I lived. Uncle Bud was glad to see old Booger again, and knew his
two companions as well.  They were the two of the biggest men I'd ever seen in
my life.  They were giants; huge men, bigger than Walker Johnson. 

"Billy Gunn, meet Master Jim Johnson, Walker's younger but bigger brother
and his family clan leader Master Beryl Mc Innis."  Red introduced them.  I shook
their hands and marveled at their size.  They dwarfed the bikes they were riding.
"Damn, Red!" said Big Beryl, "You said he was pretty but my God in heaven--
-" he said, shaking his head.  "Fuck the handshake, Son! I want a hug and a
kiss."  He could have it.

That man was so damn big I'd of jumped up and down on one leg and
whistled like a' pig for him. He did the same thing Master Johnson had done
when I met him.  He picked me up, pulled me to his massive chest to support me
and planted a big one on me. I loved the man immediately.

"Me, too!" said Big Jim, "If'n he gets one, I get one, too."   I hugged and
kissed them both.  Then I hugged Booger and invited them in. I called dad at
work.  He and Uncle Joe closed the shop early and came home.  They knew all
three of the men. They were in Korea together.  Then,  Master Red said
something I found very interesting and funnier'n shit.

"Well, Gunn," Red said to my dad, "You still fucking old Joe after all these
years?"  My dad shot him a look,  if  it had been a gun, Red would  have been a
dead man. Master Red giggled nervously; he realized he'd let the cat out of the

"Ooops!  Oh shit! I'm sorry, Gunn,  I should'a known better."

"Awh, hell!  No harm done,  Red." my dad told him. "It's time Billy three knew
anyway." Dad called me 'Billy three' sometimes instead of sounding  pretentious
and saying,  'the third;' however, Dad never said another word to me about it.

I spent a great, sex filled week with my magnificent beast and slept in my bed
with him.  I didn't ask my dad.  I felt if I was old enough to die for my country,  I
damn well had the right to invite who I wanted to my bed.  I sure as hell wasn't
going to be shuffled off to my Aunt Ethel's on Friday afternoons any more.

I thought it was funny to find Uncle Joe coming out of my dad's bedroom one
morning, tip toeing, his boots in his hand, with a funny look on his face. He
smiled and winked at me.  I didn't give a shit.  I was happy to find out.  Uncle Joe
knew I understood.

My dad surely knew what was going on in my bedroom between Red and I. 
The springs on my rusty old bed sounded like the hinges on an outhouse door in
a hurricane. When old Red got way up there in me and started rootin' around,
gettin' some good stuff for himself, it sounded like one of them East Indian raga
bands that play all that weird shit.

Dad would have a knowing smirk on his face when we came down for coffee
the next morning.  He never said a word.  I guess he figured if I didn't ask, he
damn sure wasn't either.  Besides, if he said anything I had piece of info in my
back pocked that would've stopped him dead in his tracks.  I hadn't told him
about running into his old 'fucking' buddy from Korea, Barn Jarvis. 

I had a chance to get to know the two giants.  I could have fallen in love with
either of them.  They were wonderful men.  Big Beryl lost his little slave Jimmy in
a bad bike accident several years before and Big Jim lost his slave several
months before that in Europe somewhere. They were still grieving and somewhat
dependant on each other. Not really dependant, sort a' using each other to lean
on to help get over their loss. 

Master Red promised he would write while I was in Nam.  I was to send him
letters at the Johnson Ranch. I enjoyed being with him  that week.  He and I fell
more in love with each other. It was hard letting him go when they left. I didn't
have the heart nor the courage to tell him about Buck.

Growing up ain't all it's cracked up to be.  I didn't want this kind of situation
hanging over my head but I didn't feel I was totally to blame for it either.  I was
young and impressionable and these men were older players.  They'd been in
the game three times longer than I had.  But,---I did make the big, ugly man a

Uncle Bud and I took off to go fishing for several days.  We ended up staying
away from our town almost a week.  Aunt Laura didn't mind.  She knew Uncle
Bud and I were close.  She could tell he was so worried he might never see me
again.  We went with Aunt Laura's blessing. 

We drove to a  lake where Uncle Bud and Aunt Laura had a cabin.  We
stayed there all week. I never had a more wonderful week with anyone.  I think
he realized how much he missed me during boot camp and was afraid for me to
go to Nam. He never said anything, but I knew. He didn't want me to go, but
wouldn't ask me to go with Booger again.  Booger did, he wanted me to run away
with him and the two giants, but I couldn't.

Uncle Bud couldn't believe how I had grown and filled out in boot camp. I
was now just about his size, and we looked like identical twins; only one was
born thirty year later.  Uncle Bud was right.  We discovered that week at the
cabin my dick turned out to be almost the same size as his and looked just like

We didn't get much fishing done.  Mostly we just fucked.  We were trying to
drink as much of each other as we could. It seemed like we couldn't get enough
of each other. I loved having sex with my beast, Master Red, but there was
something special Uncle Bud and I had that was electric.  We were still a team.

Uncle Bud surprised the shit out of me the second morning we were there. 
We stood looking in the mirror of the bathroom after relieving ourselves of our
morning piss hard-ons.  It was like looking at myself in the future.  I wasn't
ashamed of what I saw.  If I looked half as good as the man standing next to me I
would consider myself blessed.

"You're a fine looking man, Cowboy."  Uncle Bud said softly. "You're no
longer a kid,'re a man, Son.  And your Master ain't ashamed to tell you he
needs that man this morning."  I looked at him puzzled. 

It dawned on me what my uncle was getting at.  I smiled at him in the mirror
and slowly moved my hand to place it gently on one of his ass cheeks.  He
smiled back at me in the mirror, knowing I got his message.  He turned into my
arms and we kissed like we never kissed before.

I would never consider Uncle Bud to be anything but my Master,... but if my
Master needed any pleasure from his slave,  standing in adoration of him, it was
only his to ask.  It was the first time I'd ever had my dick in a man.  Providence
couldn't have brought me a sweeter, hotter, more understanding fuck for my first
time than my Uncle Bud.  Damn, he was a hot man!  My old dick was rock hard
at the thought of getting into my uncle's ass. I admired his ass so many years. 
Now, I was going to see why men liked to fuck.   I threw caution and inhibitions to
the winds.  By the time I was through tonguing and cleaning his ass Uncle Bud
was hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire.  He was pleading for his
Cowboy to take him.  Fuck the lubricant!

"Take me, Cowboy!  You know how you've come to like being taken.  Your
uncle needs that, Son.  Don't disappoint your Master, Cowboy.  Never question
him."   There was so much pre-come from my dick, I quickly moved the head
around his love muscle as I watched him relax and dilate.  Uncle Bud was ready
for my dick.  We were the same size, exactly.  I placed it at his rosebud and
leaned forward to kiss him.  He opened and almost sucked me into his depths
with a sigh that released the air from his soul.

There are no words to describe the feeling of being inside this God I
worshiped.  I was gently kissing him and couldn't help the tears that were forming
in my eyes.  He began to feel them drop on his face as we embraced.  

"You all right, Baby?" Uncle Bud whispered as he bussed a kiss behind my

"Better'n just all right, Uncle Bud."  I took one long slow loving stroke and
docked myself deep in his ass.

"Oh shit, Darlin,' you feel just like your old man in there."

"Dad use to fuck you, Uncle Bud?"

"Yeah, long time ago, when we were young men.  Your old man is one hell of
a fuck, Cowboy.  If he ever offers,  take it from me,  he comes highly
recommended.   In all my life, Son, I ain't never had no man leave me as
satisfied as Big Gunn."  I took another couple of heavy duty, industrial strength
strokes into my uncle to test his roadability.   His ass was chowing down on my

He was meeting each stroke the way he patiently taught me almost two
years ago; however, I could tell, he was moving with me with no conscious effort. 
He knew what he needed and was certain I was now able to handle this next
step in my training.

This was, for all practical purposes, my graduation. He poured into to me all
the training and love to make me the best partner for a man that he could.  Now
he was ready to reap the benefits of his efforts.  We both knew I was ready for
this moment.

I knew what he needed was not for me to be giving to him as his slave.  My
job, my only purpose, was to please my Master and to please him I had to take
from him what he wanted so desperately to give me.

It clicked in my mind that while I was still his slave it was my duty to take all I
needed from him; all he needed to give me and just a tad more for myself.  There
were no questions in my mind.  I was not concerned I was going to hurt him nor
that I was fucking him to make him feel good.  I had to fuck him for me. 
Otherwise, what he needed would have been compromised. 

As in all his training I worked hard to please him and gain his approval. 
There were no sweeter words anyone could have spoken to me than, "You did
good, Son. I'm proud of you."  Uncle Bud said those words to me over and over
the more I learned and the better I got as his partner.

Now was the time to show my Master my love.  To reach down to the depths
of his soul, grab hold of what I needed and demand he respond to his slave the
way his slave needed.  The more I thought about it, the harder I got as I was now
steadily fucking him.  I could feel him responding to me, approving of my
technique with every meeting of his ass to the base of my cock.

"You were so ready for this, Cowboy." he whispered to me, "I got to admit,
when I saw you standing there when that bus drove away last week, in your
uniform,  straight and tall,  your old uncle's ass hole started twitching
involuntarily. That's when I knew we were both ready for this.  I'm so fucking
proud of you, Son."

"Oh God, Uncle Bud!  I love you so much but this is one door I wonder if you
were wise to open?"  Uncle Bud laughed softly under me.

"That good, huh, Cowboy?"  he said meeting two pretty good strokes.

"I feel like I could fuck you forever, Uncle Bud."  I leaned in to kiss him gently
then whispered to him.  "But I know one damn thing for certain."

"What's that, Cowboy?"

"I ain't  a' gonna' stop fucking you until you either shoot or holler 'calf rope.'"

"When I do,---take your prize Cowboy.  You damn well earned this one."  I
started in fucking Uncle Bud like I was a professional bull rider.  I was strong and
steady in the saddle.  Weren't no way this big ass bull underneath me was
gonna' buck me off.  Damned if he weren't trying, too.  The old bull was meeting
every one of my landings in that saddle of his with almost equal strength to my

I picked up my speed and began to watch Uncle Bud's face as I found his
prostate.  A glazed look came over his handsome face as I leaned in to kiss him
again.  I was right on it when I felt his ass muscle start to gnaw on my dick.  It felt
like the damn thing was trying to bite my dick off.

We were kissing furiously and I was fucking him solidly with repeated strokes
over and over.  I felt him stiffen and then felt his hot cowboy load shooting up
between us.  It kept coming and coming.  I never thought he was going to stop
coming as I relentlessly plowed his red Earth.

"Take your prize, Cowboy!  Give it to your Master, Son!"  That's all I needed
to hear from my cowboy uncle.  I began to unload in him all the love, trust, and
feelings I had for the man.  It came out my dick so hard and with such force,  I
didn't think I was going to stop.

It was one of the most emotional, hard climaxes of my life.  It was as if my
soul had manufactured the ejaculate rather than my low hanging balls.  I was
shooting my soul into the depths of my God, the man I worshiped above all
others.  I was overwhelmed and humbled.  I collapsed on top of Uncle Bud and
started weeping from the ecstacy of the moment.

"There, there, Darlin.' What 'cha crying about?  You done good, Cowboy.
You took damn good care of your Master.  Couldn't have asked for better,... and
don't you dare take it out 'til I tell you to, neither!"  He laughed.

"Ah, shit, Uncle Bud!  It was so good,  I couldn't help it.  You made me realize

"What's that, Son?"

"The way you made my dick feel I know I got a long way to go to become as
good a fuck as my Master."

"You let the man whose gonna' end up being your Master judge that for

"Thank you, Uncle Bud.  I love you so damn much.  Even if you was my dad I
wouldn't give this up."

"Neither would I, Billy.  Neither would I."   

I bonded with three great young men in boot camp, one of whom I was falling
in love with.  I had to go to make sure his ass didn't get shot;  I promised his dad.

My buddies, White and Twissleman fell in love during basic training. Of
course,  they couldn't do anything about it either because we were watched
every minute day and night.  In basic training Twissleman would get a good shot
of White's little bum, look at Buck and I with this pitiful, sad eyed, frustrated look,
raise his hand to his face, and bite his knuckles.

I knew how he felt. I'd be in the showers with Buck, and could imagine tasting
his big, fat, cowboy cock.  Believe it or not, Buck looked like a damn cowboy
even without his clothes.  Stark naked he looked like a buckaroo.  He was living
proof clothing does not make the man.

Ken and Rowley decided to spend some time together during leave.  Buck
and I decided to spend our last week of leave together before reporting back to
Ft. Ord. We knew we were bound for Nam.

Since my home town of Mason was on the way back to Ft. Ord, Buck took a
bus from Tucson.  Dad and I met him at the Greyhound station.  I'd invited White
and Twissleman to stay with us, but they didn't know whether they could make it
or not; however, we no sooner got something to eat at the diner when all hell
broke loose. There were three sheriff cars around the diner like there was a
robbery. Sirens and bubble gum machines on top spinning 'round!  In walks my 
Uncle Bud, big smile on his face, with White and Twissleman in tow.

"These young men claim to know you, Cowboy."

"Never seen 'em before in my life, Uncle Bud. Throw their ass's in jail."  I
smiled real big to see them.

"Yeah, Sheriff Cummings, they're hooligans." added Buck.  Rowley and Ken
walked over to  Buck and I, we all yelled and hugged each other. I introduced
them to everyone there.  We sat down and Uncle Bud bought us lunch. We had a
great time. They were impressed the sheriff of the county brought them directly to
me. They walked from the bus station to his office to ask directions to our place.

Dad drove us over to our house. Hell, we had plenty of room.  We had four
bedrooms upstairs we hadn't used in years.  I offered Rowley and Ken separate
bedrooms. They looked at Buck and I like we were daft.

"You two gonna' bunk in separate rooms?" Twissleman asked.

"Oh, hell, no!" replied Buck, "And miss getting me a piece of that little
buckaroo butt my dick's been drooling over for the last two years, get serious."
we all laughed. I blushed and they laughed at me.

"I hear ya',  Buck.  I've been dreaming 'bout gettin' my dick up White's little
butt ever since the day we met. We came here so we could be together.  'Sides, I
always wanted me a big ole piece of Okie ass." Rowley howled with laughter, so
did we.

"Well, ain't chu' the lucky one, Tex!  We just happen to have a special on
Okie ass today but it was sooooo good we had a run on it, sold out, and you're
shit out a' luck, Cowboy."  White shot back at Rowley.  We all howled knowing
White couldn't wait to try that big cowboy on for size. 

"Think your dad will get upset if he figures out what's going on, Billy?" asked

"Fuck no, White, he's too busy fucking my Uncle Joe." we all laughed again. 

"Tell 'em where you were last week, Cowboy." Buck urged smiling wickedly.

"I spent last week in bed with my Uncle Bud."  I said quietly.

"Son of a bitch, that fine looking man, the sheriff, and you----?" asked
Twissleman. "By the way, he looks just like you,  you sure he's your uncle?  We
thought it was you in a sheriff's uniform when we went to his office."  he said

"Yeah!  I could have shit when he told me." said Buck, "They spent all year
on the rodeo circuit competing against my dad and I. We thought he was Billy's
dad. You're right, Rowley, they look just alike. They never told us no different. 
No wonder they won. They were in love." laughed Buck. "Maybe when Cowboy
and I get back from Nam, we can team up and go on the circuit.  We've talked
about it. Hell, nobody could beat us."

We spent every day rodeoing.  Once again everyone came from all around. 
My buddies brought their western clothes, and we got to be known all over our
small town as Billy's cowboy buddies that were going to Nam with him. We were
sucking and fucking half the night and rodeoing all day.  Buck and I got damn
good as a team in and out of bed. He was right. If we went on the circuit, nobody
could beat us. I know my dad and Uncle Joe couldn't.  Dad didn't even bother to
bet anymore.  He just rode over and shoved a hundred bucks in my western

"What's that for, Dad?"

"Well, I ain't never been much of a dad to you, Son. Couldn't tell you how
much I loved you, so I thought I'd do the next best thing;  try'n buy your love."

"Hell Dad, you could have had that for five bucks." he almost fell off his
horse, Tucker, laughing.  It felt good to laugh with my old man.  I loved him more
since I found out about him and Uncle Joe.  I was sent to my Aunt's all those
years not to protect me from them fucking the whores but to keep me from
finding out about him and Uncle Joe.  What a laugh.

We had a great week.  We rodeoed and partied all week like it was our last. 
Uncle Bud spent as much time with us as he could.  The whole town sort of shut
down to come to the rodeo grounds. Sign in the barber shop: Need hair cut?
Come to rodeo grounds.  Ask for Ed.

Uncle Bud and I roped again together.  We competed friendly against anyone
that wanted to.  Then Buck and I would rope, and he and I were damn good

The last night before we were to leave we were at our house. We had so
much food brought to us by the good folks of the community that were concerned
for us going to Nam.  We were nibbling, drinking beer and shooting the shit. My
buddies were there with my dad, Uncle Joe, Uncle Bud and, Lester, a black man
who lived with us and worked for my dad and Uncle Joe for years.  

Lester was also the shine man at Ed's barber shop two days a week. He had
been for as many years as I could remember.  He'd taken care of me as a kid
and watched out for me.  I loved to fish, and Lester was my fishin' buddy.  Lester
had money.  He'd worked hard, saved his money, invested in the town and had
his finger in many pies in our small community.

Lester lived a simple, unpretentious life.  He worked for dad and Uncle Joe
for years because he loved them. He sort of took care of them, too. Dad and
Uncle Joe took him in years ago, gave him a place to stay and a job,  when he
didn't have anyone or anywhere to go.  He lived in his own three rooms on the
back part of our house and came and went as he pleased. Other than a sister,
we were the only family he had, and I loved him like one of my uncles.

 It never occurred to me when I was a kid growing up  Lester was any
different from us because he was black   He'd always been there; he was a part
of my family and I loved him.  One day when I was five years old I asked him why
he was black.

"'Cause God left me in the oven too long, Child." he laughed and I knew he
was pulling my leg.  He was  Lester.  My good friend.  I could tell him anything.

Dad and Uncle Joe had a couple of beers but Dad wasn't drunk. I knew
something was bothering him, but I thought it was because he was afraid and
worried about me going off to Nam. Uncle Joe catered to my dad hand and foot. 
I'd never seen that before.  I had just enough beer,---I though I'd take a shot
across Dad's bow. I winked at my buddies first.

"Uncle Joe,---are you my dad's slave?" There were a couple of giggles but
then it got so quiet, you could've heard a pin drop in that kitchen.  Everyone was
waiting to hear Uncle Joe's response.  Uncle Joe looked first at Uncle Bud, then
dad not knowing whether to shit or go blind.  Lester slapped his leg with his hand
and fell out laughing.

"Laus, Billy, you's always could zero in on something them grown-ups never
wanted you to know.  You just seem's to have a sixth sense about they's

"Yes, Son," my dad spoke up for Uncle Joe, "he is; has been for years.  Even
before your Mother passed away. I guess you've figured out that's why we sent
you to your Aunt Ethel's every Friday night for the weekend."  Dad looked down
at his dirty boots.

"Well,---all I can say is, he ain't much of a slave if'n your boots are that dirty,
Dad."  Everyone roared with laughter including Lester who almost had a heart
attack. Uncle Joe smiled sheepishly. Uncle Bud smiled and winked at me.

"You gonna' tell him the rest, Mista' Gunn?"  Lester asked Dad.

"Tell me what, Dad?" I asked.  Dad shot a looked at Lester like he could've
choked off his air supply.

"Yes, Lester, I am!  So, ease up, damn it!  I'm working up to it.  It ain't no trip
around the may pole, Lester.

"Nauw, Sir. I reckon's it ain't,---but you'll do good, Mista Gunn, old Lester
knows.   You's a good man, Mista' Gunn!"  Lester encouraged my dad.  Dad
ignored him.

 Billy, there's something you need to know before you go off to Vietnam. 
We're praying nothing's gonna' happen to you, Son, but we're scared shitless. 
We're afraid.  All of us, your aunts, Uncle Bud, Uncle Joe and me,---old Lester." 
Dad motioned toward Lester.  Lester shook his head affirmative then frowned
and looked down at his old boots.

"Goddamn it Billy, I ain't real good at this, and I know I ain't been the best
father but fuck it, Son, I love you! You didn't just happen, you weren't some
fucking accident,  you were wanted and carefully planned for.

I wanted a son so bad I went to almost criminal lengths to have you, Billy. 
Not sorry I did.  I'd do it again in a minute.  I'm proud of you, Billy. I'm proud you
carry my name.  What you need to know is,---I caught the mumps from Joe when
we were kids and it settled in our nuts.  When we recovered it left us sterile. We
couldn't have no kids.

I wanted a son more'n anything in the world, and so did your mom. I never
lied to your mother about not being able to have kids, but I told her, if she married
me, someway we would, I'd see to it.  She loved me and I loved her.  She trusted
me enough to marry me.  If I said we'd have kids, she believed me. So, Billy, we
had you by a sperm donor."

Everyone in the kitchen was so quiet you could hear your own heart beat. 
My mouth dropped open because it started to dawn on me who my real dad was,
but how in the world--?

"Son, your real dad is your Uncle Bud.  Bud's never know'd about it 'til now.  I
never told him." Dad turned to Uncle Bud and spoke directly to him, "That's why I
wanted you here, Bud, when I told Billy, so's you'd both find out at the same
time."  Dad continued, "When we were younger, your Uncle Bud and I were
inseparable.  We were running buddies with your Uncle Joe and Harvey Franks. I
fell in love with your Uncle Bud as a young man, and I still love him today.

The four of us use to experiment sexually with each other, and then stopped
as we grew up.  'Cep'n Joe and me, we're still trying to get it right."  My buddies
laughed, "Hell, we all grew up together.  We were best buddies, we were related,
we were family and we did everything together.

After your mom and I were married,  Joe and I took Bud out and got him
drunk one night.  He just came back from Korea, and we were so relieved he
made it home;  Joe and I used that as an excuse to get him wasted.  Besides, we
truly loved Bud, were glad he came home and we did have a good time.

He hadn't married your momma's sister yet;  he wasn't your uncle then, but
he was my cousin.  We got him so drunk he passed out in the back of my pick
up. I sucked his dick to get him good'n hard and slipped a rubber on him. Then
your Uncle Joe sucked him off.

Bud never knew 'cause we took him home and put him to bed.  I took the
rubber home with me, slipped it on, cut the end out of the tip, and made love to
your mom. She knew what I'd done, but didn't know who the donor was.  She
never asked, she trusted me.  

When I shot,  it pushed your uncle's come on through and got her pregnant." 
The room was silent. No one breathed.  Without looking directly at him I could
see tears running down Uncle Bud's face.  His head was bowed and he had one
hand holding his head as he wept.

"I never told your mom who the donor was who got her pregnant, but when
they brought you to her and laid you in her arms, she gently undid the small
blanket, took one look at your pretty little face, smiled, looked up at me and
asked, "Bud?"  One look, she knew and was pleased. I just nodded, 'yes.'"

'He's so beautiful, Billy!  I love you so much. Thank you.' she was thrilled with
you.  Nine months later she passed away." 

I looked at Uncle Bud who had big tears running down his handsome face.
That's the second time I ever saw my Uncle Bud cry.  I guess he was as
surprised as I was. I was shocked, stunned and thrilled but also confused
because,  I really started to love my old man. I always loved him because he was
my dad but now that I was grown he was easier for me to love. He was still my
dad after all.  Now, after telling me this, the truth, which must have been hard for
him,  to say nothing of learning the truth about him and Uncle Joe,  I loved him
even more.

"That's why I let you and Bud grow close all these years, and allowed you to
spend so much time with him.  That's why I allowed you to go rodeoing with him
instead of insisting you go to college.

I know now, I didn't do the wrong thing 'cause you grow'd up to be damn
near a carbon copy of him. Not a finer man walks the face of this Earth than your
Uncle Bud, Son. I loved him all those years ago and still love him just as much
today.  All these years Bud's never know'd he gave me you.

But Billy, I want you to know,---I love you more than anything in this world. I
ain't  gonna' stop being your dad, and you'll always be my son. Just don't hate
me, Son; you either, Bud.  I've loved the two of you for so long it would kill me to
think you wouldn't forgive me. I wanted a kid, a son.  I wanted you, Billy, and the
only man's sperm I'd consider putting into my wife's body, was Bud's, 'cause I
loved him."

My dad started crying. I went to him, and took him in my arms. Dad had his
head in both hands sobbing his heart out.  I motioned for Uncle Bud to join me. 
He put his hand on dad's shoulder. He was crying, too.  I don't think there was a
dry eye in the room.

"I love you Dad, and I know Uncle Bud does too. You're still my dad. You
always will be. At least Uncle Bud and I know why the hell we look so much
alike." Lester roared with laughter and so did everyone.

"I guess I should have told the two of you before you went rodeoing 'cause
when I saw you together in Ft. Worth I knew you'd become lovers." dad

"Well, shit, Dad, it ain't like we're gonna' have an idiot child."  They all
laughed again including my dad. "Dad, I love you more at this moment than I
ever have in my life, and that love is only gonna' grow from here.  You just made
my life make sense. I'm not ashamed of my love for Uncle Bud whether he's my
biological father or not, and it sure as hell ain't a' gonna' stop me from pleasuring
him any time he wants."

"Here! Here!" said Twissleman, and Buck.

"Ohhhh,---I think you should reconsider, Billy, now that you know he's your
real dad," Ken White butted in, "but not to worry, Cowboy. I'll be more'n happy to
stand in for you." volunteered  White,  the smart ass Okie.  We all laughed. 
Uncle Joe even started laughing. Uncle Bud winked at Ken White. Lester had to
get a glass of water he was laughing so hard.

"Ya' see's, Mista' Gunn," Lester said, gesturing with his glass of water,  "I's
told you it would turn out all right but it be good you told the boy before he goes
over there. He be a fine young man and deserves to know sump um' that
important about his life.  So do Mr. Bud.   Mr. Bud be one of the finest men I's
ever run across. He ain't never had no kids with his missus. So you's done more
good than you knows. Billy ain't gonna' stop loving you. You haven't lost your
boy.  He just got 'emself  two dads to love.

Billy's one lucky kid to have two fine mens like you and Mr. Bud for dads. As
many times as that boy dragged my ass fishing over the years, I feels like he's
mine, too. God, alone, knows how I hate's fishing!" Lester rolled his eyeballs, and
we were rolling on the floor laughing at him.  I went to him and hugged the old
man assuring him he was as much a dad to me as my Uncle Bud and dad. 
Lester always made a lot of sense. I loved that old man.

"You're right, I had no idea you did that, Gunn." said Uncle Bud, "I'm,----I'm,--
-Oh hell, I don't know  what the fuck  to say. It's been too many years ago for me
to be angry.  I remember the night. The only thing I can think to be mad about is
not getting to enjoy the blow job." we all laughed, "As I remember, Joe use to be
able to suck chrome off a bumper hitch." Uncle Bud allowed. White fell off his

"Still can!" Dad told him laughing.  Uncle Joe blushed. My buddies were
wiping tears one minute and couldn't stop laughing the next. Maybe to find humor
in something like this was a good thing.  We weren't going to take it that seriously
for my dad's sake. I loved my Uncle Bud for that.

"To be truthful with ya,' Gunn, you've just made me about the happiest man
in the whole Goddamn world!  You don't know how many times I wished Billy was
my boy, and even prayed he was. I told him one time while we were on the
circuit, I wish't ta' God he was my son!  I was so damn jealous of you all these
years. I wanted a son so bad, but never would consider leaving Laura even after
we found out she couldn't have kids.

You had the perfect son I always wanted.  Hell, he even looked like me.  I
thought it just wasn't fair, so I tried to make Billy into my own son.  It was wrong
of me and I apologize, but the more time we spent together the more I couldn't
help loving him and thinking of him as my son.  I always wondered why you let us
get so close, and didn't seem threatened? Fuck!

All these years he was over to our house almost as much as he was here. 
Laura and I loved him coming to our house.  He was always welcome. I never
thought you'd let him go rodeoing with me. I thank you and God, you did.  Best
damn year of my life, Gunn, and I owe it all to you.

I'm sure of one thing though, God does hear our prayers. We both loved
each other when we were younger, but to think you wanted to have a kid by me
is an overwhelming statement of that love." Dad stood up,  the two men
embraced  and cried  in each other's arms.  Hell, we all were crying, including

Uncle Bud pulled himself together and continued, "So, it would seem,---
Lester here, is the only one making any sense out of all this. We should listen to
the man. I know Billy well enough to know he loves both of us. He ain't gonna'
stop loving either of us.

Cowboy and I have something special that goes beyond father and son. I
ain't gonna' give that up either.  I love the kid too much. You'll always be his dad
and I'll always be his Uncle Bud.  'Sides, my Cowboy's got another name for me."

"What's that?" asked my dad.

"Master." replied Uncle Bud.

"I can live with that." laughed dad. So did everyone else in the room.

"There's only one other thing that you two need to know.  I confided in Sam
Jenkins sometime ago and asked him to tell old Booger.  I figured if anyone
deserved to know it was him.  Sam didn't remember 'til he saw the two of you
together at Walker's ranch and didn't tell Booger 'til after he and Cowboy where
together for a couple of nights.  I talked to Red about it when he was here visiting
Cowboy.  He sat in that chair and cried like a baby he was so happy for you,

I couldn't figure out why Booger was so important that dad should feel he
needed to know.  But old Booger knew before I did.  Something strange was
going on here but I didn't think I wanted to find out.  Then Uncle Bud said the
damnedest thing to my dad.

"Thanks, Gunn, I appreciate you letting him know;---means a lot to me."  I
never asked my dad, Uncle Bud, nor Booger.  I just thought if they wanted me to
know they'd tell me.  Maybe I didn't want to know.

I was alone with Uncle Bud later, and thanked him for being understanding
for dad's sake and I couldn't be more proud to be his son.

"After the gift your dad gave me?  I would have ripped  my heart out with my
bare hands and handed it to him right there if he'd a'ask for it, Son. Your dad is
one in a million, Billy.  You couldn't have picked a better dad if you'd a' tried. 

Hell, your old man was probably a better dad than I would've been. I
would've spoiled you rotten and we probably wouldn't have spent that year
sharing the love we did,----but God help me, even being your biological father,
I'm not ashamed we did.  

We have something ninety-nine percent of fathers and sons out there will
never know,---and knowing what we know, I'd  do it again, even now.  I have a
greater respect for Gunn now than I ever did, and my love for him is great.  I
know you really love him too, don't you, Son?"

"More now,  than ever, Master, but do me a favor?"


"Don't ever stop calling me 'Son.'"

"Feels good, don't it, Boy?"

"Sure does, Master, all the way to my soul good." We kissed. Not the polite,
noninvasive kiss of a father and son but the kiss of a Master and his cowboy.  It
made me think----it's the way all fathers and sons should kiss. The world would
be a whole lot better.

Buck never asked me about Booger and I didn't volunteer anything.  Buck
was a cowboy. If someone wanted to tell you their past, they would.  If not, don't
ask.  I'd been raised by the same code.

I spent the last night in Buck's arms. We fucked and sucked our way into
each others hearts.  I was falling deeply in love with the big man. I would have
done anything for him, and he felt the same about me.

"Cowboy, you got one hell of a family. They all worship the ground you walk
on.  Every damn one of 'em including Lester would lay down their lives for you. 
Your aunt's beam when you show them the slightest attention, and you have a
way of pouring it on. That Uncle Bud of your's is enough to make anyone wet his
pants over. Male or female.  What a man, holy shit!  White wasn't joking."  we

"I use to watch you and him in the arena on horseback practicing and pop a
boner every damn time.  Honest to God, I couldn't decide who I wanted more,
him or you.  So I stopped trying to choose and decided I wanted you both.  I had
such dirty fantasies about the two of you with me, I wouldn't even tell you about

I'd get a wet spot in my jeans, go back to our motor coach, dad would take
one look, smile at me knowingly, and ask,

"Been watching the Cummings' practice, Son?"  I think he knew.  I wanted to
tell him before I went to Nam, but I couldn't.  I love him so damn much if he
turned away from me I'd shoot myself. 

I'll be honest with you, Cowboy, I always wanted a relationship with my dad
like you had with your father, Uncle Bud.  I'd a' sucked my old man's dick in a
New York minute if he'd a' let me.  I use to jack off thinking about having sex with
him.  I use to get hard just walking behind him watching the way he walked in
them big boots of his.  Sweet Jesus, what a man! I couldn't go naked around him
for fear I'd get a hard-on looking at him and he'd know his son was a pervert. I
know why I turned out to like men.

When it came time for hormones to kick in, and make you want to like girls, I
couldn't give up the love and physical attraction I had for my dad.  I thought if I
started liking girls I would be betraying my love for him. He wanted me to be a
cowboy and I worked hard at being that for him.  It got easier then, not to be
interested in girls, 'cause cowboys have the reputation of being loners.  I would
have been anything that man wanted me to be."  Buck kinda stunned me.

"Glad you saved it for me, Buck. You ain't no damn pervert neither 'cause I
feel the same way about my old man and I sure as hell ain't no pervert. But,  I
ain't never felt nothing like I feel for you, Buck, with anybody, not even my uncle. 
I'm a' hopin' you don't get upset and run screaming out the door but I gotta' tell
you, Cowboy, I've fallen in love with you." Buck looked at me like he was upset. 

"Upset? Me upset? I was trying to figure out how to tell you.  I'll go you one
better,  I don't want to live my life without you, Cowboy and here you are tellin'
me you're in love with me. Upset? I don't think so, Darlin.' Those 'be' the
sweetest three words my old cowboy ears have heard since, 'Attention! K-Mart
Shoppers!' he got me laughing then he started laughing.  Buck had a down home
sense of humor.

We silently made love together for a while, and laughed at the symphony of 
old bed springs in the next room.  Twissleman was getting his pound of White's
flesh.  Buck and I could only imagine White riding that big bull of a man, one
hand thrown back in the air, the other around a rope they tied to Twissleman's
ass, spurring the big man on for the best eight second ride of his life.  Then we
heard this loud KER-WHUMP sound.  It sounded like they fell off the damn bed 
which sent me and Buck into gales of laughter and caused a knock on the wall.

Then it was our turn to serenade them.  My bed was worse than their's, and
sounded like four midgets jumping up and down on four harpsichords at once; a
terrible racket. Buck took me hard and settled in for a good, long, loving, cowboy
fuck'n.  He was a young stallion that developed a tasted for butt fucking.

He was working hard to perfect his style and technique. He didn't really have
much to perfect.  He was a natural, and climbed inside my ass like it was his old,
comfortable, well worn saddle he was getting ready to ride. As we settled into our
second hour of fucking,  we heard groans from the next bedroom like, "Oh God,
won't they ever stop?"

I worked as hard to please him as he did to fuck me, and together we made a
perfect team. He wouldn't come until he knew  he had me climbing up the hill,
and started trying to bite his dick off in my ass. Then he'd unload his hot cowboy
come deep in my well ploughed Earth.  His body would shake all over as he shot
wave after wave of his seed into me.

The finish sounded like midgets were jumping off the damn roof onto the
harpsichords with sledge hammers at a KISS concert. It was indeed a dramatic
climax to a long, enduring, wonderful fuck.  It out did the damn1812 even with the
fuckin' cannons.

We lay together, exhausted, him still inside me, enjoying the glow, making
soft loving sounds to each other.  Then came the applause.  Not only from the
next room but from all over the damn house.  Then the gales of laughter from
Lester,  Dad, Uncle Joe and of course White and Twissleman. We just laughed,
we didn't give a shit,  fuck 'em, we were in love.

Buck just fucked the holy b'Jesus out of me, and I'd sucked him off twice.
Damn, he had a nice, big, fat dick, and really knew how to use it. He and I
bonded that week.  So did Twissleman and White.  They fell all the more in love
with each other. You couldn't of pried them apart with a wrecking bar.

We said our tear filled goodbyes the next morning, and  boarded the bus for
Ft. Ord.  We slept almost all the way there.  We were exhausted. We played day
in and day out for a week.  We tried to cram as much living and loving into one
week as we could.

Buck and I had a lot of time to talk intimately about the future on the way
back to Ft. Ord.  We were going to spend our lives together.  We talked to
Twissleman and White, and we were gonna' rodeo until we got too old, then buy
adjacent ranches and settle down.  Maybe open a rodeo school for young kids.
The four of us carried that dream all the way through Nam.

 We returned to boot camp in plenty of time to check in and receive our
orders.  We shipped out within two days, and were on our way to Nam.  We
didn't care, we had love, nothing could touch the four of us. After we got there,
almost our entire company was assigned to the same platoon. We weren't
broken in gently.  Hell, they had us on patrol the first week we were there.

The four of us stuck close together. Buck and I fell more in love and so did
White and Twissleman. When we were 'in country' on bivouac, White and
Twissleman would crawl in their tent and make out while Buck and I sat out front
keeping watch.  Then they would switch off for Buck and I. It was the only way
we could have stayed sane through the whole senseless thing.

Everyone in the platoon knew what was going on, but when you're in a
combat situation the rules of the 'normal' world get thrown out the window and
what might be judged  unacceptable  became accepted and overlooked.  Hell,
over half the platoon paired off and were doing the same damn thing.   When you
live that close and lives depend on each other it's hard to keep any secrets.  We
never tried but we didn't flaunt it either.  We were just 'the cowboys.'

We were coming upon our last three months.  Almost short timers.  We lost
our platoon leader and got a hot shot new Louie for a leader. He was out to make
a name for himself and started requiring us to do a lot of fool hardy, stupid things
that endangered the lives of all of us.

Our old leader got us this far and, we only lost one man.  He was loved by
the whole platoon, he took care of us, and we took care of him. He was a no
nonsense kind of leader.  If he thought there was the least chance we were
walking into a trap, or there was a safer way for his men to get a job done, he
ordered it done that way.

He listened to his men. He especially listened to the cowboys.  We
developed a sixth sense where Charlie was hiding and the signs of when he was
around. The four of us compared notes constantly and were pretty damn sharp. 

The new hot shot Louie didn't want our input. Some of the other men got
frustrated at his hard headedness and told him he better listen to the cowboys
because they've never been wrong. We tried and after four or five times getting
put down, told to shut up, he knew better, we just decided to keep our mouths
shut. We'd  take care of ourselves. 

It was a hot day.  A fucking Nam hot day.  I've never experienced a more
suffering heat anywhere in my life. White, Twissleman, Buck and I were walking
point across an open field.  It was a dry patty where months before there was 
ankle deep water. The rice crop was burned out. It was scorched earth with little
mounds of dried rice grass and dirt. We saw all the signs of Charlie being dug in
and tried to tell the asshole we were walking right into a possible trap.

We were told to stop being cowards and get our lazy, yellow ass's out there
on point.  Something in me snapped and I was going for the son of a bitch. Buck
grabbed me and held me until I settled down.  I thought Buck was gonna' hit me.
He didn't. He never would.

"Cowboy, let it go!  We ain't got that long to go. We'll be home, on the circuit
again.  Just you, me, Twissleman and White. Let it go, Brother."  I let it go. 

We started out across this huge field.  About half way across the VC had dug
in, and popped up out of hidden holes to spray us with fire.  We were ambushed
as the four of us feared. I took a hit to my shoulder.  My leg was shot out from
under me, and I lost my balance.

Buck heard the shots hit me,  turned to see me falling, and moved to catch
me. As he turned, I saw him get hit right through the chest, and we fell together. 
White and Twissleman headed for us. Both were shot as they were trying to
lunge for us. I fell underneath the three big men.

I was laying face down under their three bodies. My buddies lay dying on top
of me.  I heard White tell Twissleman he loved him.  Twissleman put his big arm
around him, pulled him to his chest, kissed him one last time, and  comforted him
as they lay dying in each others arms. I felt Buck's two days growth of beard as
he kissed me behind the ear and whispered softly,

"On down the road, Cowboy---I love you so much, Billy---" and he was gone.

I passed out as a tear rolled down my cheek. I knew they were mortally
wounded, and I probably was, too. If I didn't die now, I knew Charlie would come
pick over the dead, find me still partially alive and finish me. I felt the life force
leaving my body the more blood I lost. My life was over.  I didn't want to live
anymore. Somehow, I just didn't care. I saw Buck get it right though the heart.

My face was turned to the side and I could see these little things jumping on
the ground close to me.  At first,  I thought they were insects, and then,---I saw
and understood.   Oh!  God in heaven! Sweet Jesus, Mother of Christ!  Help me! 
Oh, oh, God!  No man should have to see this.  Take me now, God! Let me die!  
It was bits and pieces of Buck's heart that hadn't figured out, they weren't in his
body anymore and still trying to do their function of supplying blood to his body. 

Ken and Rowley left their bodies. I felt them go. I really didn't want to live and
thought it was probably best I was dying.  I didn't want to live my life without Buck
anyway.  So, it probably was for the best.  Dying wasn't as bad as I'd imagined it
might be.

It hurt for a while, but the pain was going away the more blood I lost.  I was
drifting in and out of consciousness. The beautiful man I had come to trust and
love lay on top of me with his life force leaving his body.  As he breathed his last
his big body suddenly became lighter. 

I passed out.  I don't know how long I lay there. I don't know if Charlie came
to check the dead or what. When I came to and dared open my eyes, I couldn't
see anything. I  lost so much blood I couldn't move. I had three men on top of me
protecting me but holding me down.  I thought I heard choppers in the distance. I
was sure they were coming closer  They came closer and closer. Then I heard
English.  Our guys yelling and cursing.

The damndest thought cross my mind, "Don't fuck this up, Billy, go on, 
you've got to die before they get here to save you.    You wanna' be with Buck or
not?" I asked myself.  Thank God, I'm about to pass out.  This is it, Kid!  Here you
go.  You're dying---'  Everything went black.  I 'd passed out knowing this was it, I
was really going this time, I was dying.

I rose up out of my body and could see the medics moving swiftly from man
to man. My first thought was, 'Oh good! I died. I'm dead. Well,---it ain't so bad.'

I could see the choppers setting on the ground. I could feel the backwash
from their blades. White, Twissleman and Buck were standing next to me.  I
looked at our bodies laying there then looked back at Buck.  He smiled at me, put
his big arms around me and pulled me to him.  I could feel and smell him as I
cried in his arms.  He gently kissed me, and looked me in the eyes as he held

"Listen to me, Cowboy!  Twissleman, White and I are dead. You're not.  You
have to go back.  You still have things to do in life.  God has some things he
needs you to do.  There's folks that need you. My dad needs you.  Some guy
named Booger needs you. Your dad needs you and there's a big bear, an animal
of a man that will need you. You have to go back, Cowboy."

"Hell, Buck, I wouldn't be here if I weren't dead, too.  I don't want to go back
without you guys.  I don't want to live here anymore.  It's an awful place, look at
all this blood.  Look at our bodies laying there, you want me to go back to that?
How could I go back without you, Buck?  I love you.  

You have my heart. My soul is in your back pocket. I don't think I could live
without you, Buck.  I don't want to try. I never thought I could love another man
as much as I loved my uncle but I do Buck,  I do. What would I ever tell your
dad? I promised him I'd take care of you.  Don't make me go back, Buck, take
me with you, please."

"You know I'd never deny you anything, Cowboy, but I don't have any choice
in this.  It isn't my call.  See that medic there, the big Indian.  He knows you're
here.  Your uncle died of a heart attack last night, and went to him in his sleep. 
He told him to look for you today.  He's about to call out your name.  Move
something so he can get to you.  He'll save you. And Billy, tell my dad I loved

"Mine, too, Cowboy."  said Rowley.

"Yeah, my mom and dad, Billy." spoke Ken.

Suddenly,  Uncle Bud was there with the four of us. He held me, and kissed
me too.  I cried in his arms. I  lost him.  I lost Buck.  I lost Twissleman. I lost
White. A huge chunk of my world lay on top of me.

"Go back, Son, you have to live. It's not your time. God's not through with
you yet. You have to live for your dad,  Buck's dad, old Booger and some big,
hairy, beast of a man that's a close friend of God's you don't know yet.  We love
you, we always will love you.

We'll be with you when you need us, all you have to do is call us and we'll
come to you.  We'll be there.  But now, we have to go. The rest are waiting for
me to take them home. Be strong, Son, it's not your turn yet, but we'll be waiting
for you.

I left a letter with your Aunt Laura for you when you get home.  Be sure and
ask her for it."  He let me go, and I heard someone calling my name.  My beloved
uncle lifted his hand, and turned to the other three.

"You men ready? We need to go. Come Buck, Rowley, Ken,---take my
hand."  Buck took Uncle Bud's hand, Rowley took Buck's, and White took
Rowley's. They followed Uncle Bud and were gone. 

I was alone and horrified as I  felt myself being pulled back into my pain
racked body. I heard a voice as if in the distance. A voice I knew,---someone I

"Billy!  Billy Gunn!  GUNN!  BILLY GUNN!   COWBOY, WHERE ARE YOU!  I

The voice sounded frantic in it's urgency to find me. The voice was getting
closer.  I managed to raise my right boot an inch or two and one of the corpsmen
saw me.

"Over here, Chief!  He's over here!"

The two men gently checked out Buck, Twissleman and White as they
moved them off of me.  I opened my eyes in Jim Redfeather's big arms, and saw
the tears in his eyes.  He wiped the dirt from my face and gently hugged me to
him. He rocked me back and forth in his arms crying his heart out.

"Oh, God, Billy, your Uncle Bud, your dad, came to me last night in a dream.
You're safe now. I'll get you home, I promise, Cowboy. I promise."

I passed out again, and didn't come to until I was in the hospital with Jim by
my side. He had tears in his eyes as he was holding my hand, rubbing it in his
big rough hands.

"Cowboy, you're awake.  Thank the Great Spirit!  Don't try to talk. You're real
week.  We pumped a lot of blood into you.  The doctors saved your leg, and your
shoulder's patched. You're gonna' make it, my old friend.

"You're going to Hawaii for recovery and then home.  You're out of this hell
hole."  He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.

"Buck,  Rowley and Ken White---?"  I could barely whisper, knowing what I
was going to hear, but I had to ask.  He shook his head as a tear ran down his
cheek. I told him I saw my Uncle Bud come for Buck, Rowley and Ken.  Was he
really dead, too?

"Your Uncle Bud's spirit came to me two nights ago in a dream. He died that
very night in his sleep of a massive heart attack.  He wouldn't go with the folks
that came to take him across until he could come to me and alert me.  God, Billy! 
That man really loved you. I could feel his love for you in my dream.

He told me you would be one of the wounded in the battle yesterday.  He
said you would be hanging on to life by a thread, for me to call out to you and to
find you as quickly as I could. The other guys thought I was crazy when I told
them.  I didn't care, I knew you'd be there, and kept calling your name.

I had the last laugh when one of them read your dog tags. He looked at me
and asked how I knew.  I  told him he wouldn't understand. Your uncle told me he
was your real father, and you and him never found out until just before you came
over here."  I nodded yes.

"Rest, my beautiful friend.  You're safe now.  I still remember the beautiful
young man I shared love with one wonderful summer. I still love him today."

Jim was a good, loving man, but he had changed. He was no longer the
young, innocent man that I loved all those summers ago. He was older, mature,
filled out,  with a sad look on his face like the weight of the world was on his
shoulders.  He spent as much time with me as he could until I was shipped out to
a hospital in Hawaii.

Though my heart was aching, it was wonderful to be with him again, even if it
was only for a while.  He was special to me.  There's still love in my heart for Jim
Redfeather. He will always be my hero.
The stupid Lieutenant that insisted we do it his way lost almost all his men
that day and got assigned another platoon.  Word got around quick in Nam.  He
was still continuing his hard nose, military man persona.  My buddies deaths
meant nothing to him, nor had he learned anything. 

'The cowboys' were well known in Nam. Certain people, ordinary people
really, who developed some latent, hidden talent and became good at something
stood out in Nam. Everyone soon knew who they were and their nick-name.
Everyone had heard of 'the cowboys,' and we were well liked. We were good at
what we did, sniffing out Charlie, and probably saved a lot of lives.

Buck was the only man in three platoons to carry a bible in his pack.  He read
it aloud for an hour every Sunday when we were in county.  Sometimes there
was a hundred and fifty men crowded around the cowboy's tent to listen to Buck

I would look out, and see many openly weeping as Buck read.  They all knew
who the 'bible reading cowboy' was!  He was one of 'the four cowboys.' He was
loved by all.

Nobody said anything bad about Buck.  The other men wouldn't let them. 
Many were convinced he was being watched over by a higher power.  I had no
doubt. Neither did Twissleman and White.

The Lieutenant's next platoon were seasoned vets who  fought along side us
many times and knew 'the cowboys' well. They knew what we were capable of. 
A couple of our men walked away from that blood bath, and were put in their

They told the other vets about the cowboys warning the son of a bitch all the
signs were there, and we were walking into a trap. Several confronted him.
Asked him if he knew he was responsible for the death of all those men and
three of the cowboys.

The hot shot Lieutenant got indignant pulled one of his stupid little tantrums
on his new platoon,  insisting that he was going to shape the lot of them up just
like he'd done for the last lazy ass platoon that didn't follow his orders and got
themselves slaughtered.

The next night, after a patrol, a grenade rolled into his tent. Fragged!  No
more ambitious Lieutenant. The Army investigated every detail and found
nothing.  No one saw a thing. Can't say's I shed a tear.

They even came to the hospital and talked to me.  They wanted to know
about 'the cowboys.' I pretended to be too weak to talk to them. I didn't want to
tell them sons of bitches nothing.

I stayed at the hospital in Hawaii until I was discharged, and recovered
enough to fly home. I got letters from home, and even got a couple from Chief.  I
didn't answer any.

I got a letter from Dan Yates, Buck's dad.  It was a loving, pain filled letter
that took me several attempts to finish.  I could feel his love for me coming
through, and the pain of his loss between the lines. 

Mr. Yates wanted me to know he loved me, and wanted to see me after I got
home. I started ten or fifteen letters to him, and couldn't get past the first page. I
would break down, and the ink would run. I'd get frustrated, and tear the damn
thing up in anger. I Finally managed to get several lines off to him.

Dear Mr. Yates,

Started fifteen letters to you. Can't write or talk about it yet.  My tears make
the ink run and I end up tearing them up. Buck loved you.  I love you. Will come
see you after I get home. I'm so sorry I failed you and Buck, Mr. Yates.  He saved
my life.  But, what is my life without him?


I was raging against the pain.  I was so angry with God and man I couldn't
think of anything but my loss. Four beloved people wiped out,  gone,  erased.  In
the past, I'd prayed but I wasn't real sure God heard me. I never asked for much
because I had everything I needed.

I was a fair to middling cowboy I was loved.  Why bother God or ask Him
for anything else if you're happy?  Buck, of all people, taught me the importance
of prayer.  Buck approached faith like he did everything else in life with a down
home sensibility.

No frills, no metaphysics, no hocus-pocus, no dog and pony show, just
earthy,  common sense faith.  He told me he'd picked up his need for faith and
ideas from being around a lot of Christian cowboys.

There was no frenetic, right wing, fundamentalist intrusion into your faith. No
thumping the bible with hypocritical, self serving, dogma.  It was simple,
blameless, accepting, nonjudgmental and based on trying to be the best you
could and help folks that needed it when you could. Buck made no attempt to
convert, proselytize, nor force his faith on anyone.  He'd talk about it when we
asked but never preached.  To him it was very simple.

So it became for the three of us and for many others that came to know
Buck.  I'm convince Buck was a man of God.  He didn't start out that way but
came to his unwavering belief in the simplest, almost childlike way. 

If it's true what the scriptures say, 'You must become as a child to enter the
kingdom,'---Buck made it!  Later I came to believe God looked upon Buck and
came to love him so much he wanted him with him.  I don't blame the Old Man
anymore,  I know how he felt.  Buck Yates was a special man.  He was my
bonded brother.  I loved him.  Somewhere, some time, some place we'll love

End Chapter 3~ Booger Red & Cowboy
Copyright 2003 Waddie Greywolf