Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 

   Chapter 5 Colors of the Soul



   I guess that i should introduce myself to you.If your reading this
journel then one of two things has happened.Either I am dead, in which case
then telling this story has no meaning to anyone other than the mind
fuckers.  Or I have been caught and this journel will be used to prosecute
me.

   I told you at the beginning my name was Jack,it isnt really.I have
changed all the names in this journel to avoid giving the authorities any
real leads to the other reds i have met,gotten to know and toyed around
with.

   I wont go into any great details other than to say i was raised in a
fairly big house with 4 other brothers.  But since my becoming,i scarely
think of them as brothers.They are strangers that i grew up with and that
is all i will ever consider them as.

   I was married for 22 years and lived my life as a devoted family man.  I
went to work to support my family,give them a roof over thier heads,clothes
on thier backs and food in thier stomachs.  In my entire marriage i had
never cheated..thats not to say i wasnt tempted, I was.But i valued my
family and marriage more than a quick roll in the hay with an unknown
woman.

   I am a fairly large man,large as in height not weight.  I stood close to
6-3 in my socks and never weighed over 210.  I wasnt handsome or ugly,i
tend to think of myself as neutral.I could bench close to 300 pounds and
did so as part of a regular workout to keep myself in shape.  I had short
brown hair that i kept off my ears and what my friends always refered to
cats eyes.If you dont know what that is then it more or less describes the
shape and color of my eyes.

   As i told you earlier,I have one and a half kids.My son,who i shall
hereby refer to as Calm and a daughter Amena,hereby refered to as the
Bitch. Calm is the only one I kept in contact during the beginning but as
time passed i realized that he was a part of my past and not my future.  So
gradually we grew apart and seperated to the point that we rarely talk
anymore.

   As for the Bitch since coming back from the institution she has kept a
low profile and stayed out of sight.I am actively hunting her,yeah i said
hunt.What else do you do with a rabid animal that turns on its own blood?
Dont worry, i will answer my own question.  You hunt it down and destroy it
and thats what im planning on doing.  I will catch her,I will use her fully
and then then with extreme care,take a very long time in visiting upon her
as much pain and suffering as i have felt.

   That walking abortion will know every transgression she visited or
caused me and she will know it is me that is giving her back everything she
gave to me.

   I sat there in my dark house and began to formulate a plan of action.I
knew that if anything happened to my X or the Bitch,i would be the first to
come under investigation.So i had to wait on the Bitch, at least for now.
Since i had been incarcerated a little over a month and a half I knew i
didnt have a job waiting for me.So that was my first priority,followed by a
new hidy hole where i could safely play with any toys i happen to pick up.

   The next mourning i was out and on the road early to beat the traffic. I
already knew where to get a job,one that allowed me flexable hours and not
have anyone looking over my shoulder.  Less thasn 30 minutes later i had a
job and began the process of finding a place that allowed me to play and
live in semi privacy.

   I still had my last paycheck from the previous job which i hadnt been
able to cash or deposit,and after a visit to the bank i was glad i hadnt.
My X had cleaned out everything, the checking account ,our savings and even
our retirement accounts to the total of well over 195.000 dollars.  I was
very pissed and added her name just below the Bitchs for revenge.

   I still had the 401k from my previous job and several life insurance
policies that my X hadnt been able to get her hands on.I immediately cashed
those in and with my last paycheck had enough to rent a modest cabin about
20 minutes outside of town.  With the nearest neighbor about a mile away I
had the privacy I wanted.

   Now i had to start planning my life around the NEED, it became the focal
point of my existance, well that and the toys i would use up during it.  I
had to laugh at myself as i realized that everything that I had grew up
believing in wasnt reality.  I had been duped, made a fool of and used.It
was time to live for myself instead of living for others.My wants would
come first,last and always.  I promised myself to never again bow and
scrape to anyone,women, children, city,state,country or religion.

   to be continued