Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 ï>¿The Trailer Park: The Fifth Year: Part 2: Music and Lyrics A Story in
the Wynter/Trailer Park Universe by Wizard CopyrightÂ(C) 2008 by Wizard

   Chapter 6

   "Are you all happy and content?"

   The curtain had closed for the final time.  I shot Robbie a suspicious
look.  "Why?"

   She shrugged.  "I think it's time for plan B."

   I wondered how hard it would be to get back into the fourth grade.  The
homework was easy, and life just wasn't as complicated.  I came back to the
real world and nodded.

   Robbie moved quickly, spoke to Fred, then headed for the dressing room
and her phone.  I moved to center stage, slipped my arms around Darlene and
Tami, and watched Traci hug Peter a little more than was necessary.  We'd
planned two cast parties, one for us on stage and a second for the parents
in the theater lobby with us joining in after half-an-hour or so.

   From beyond the curtain I could hear the audience shuffling.  I figured
at least ten minutes before the theater was clear.

   "Why don't you and I run away together?" I whispered in Darlene's ear.
"Just the two of us.  We can move somewhere on the Oregon coast, and I can
find out if I remember how to surf."

   Darlene giggled.  "What about Tami?"

   "I didn't know you were into threesomes.  Go ahead and invite her."

   Tami's elbow jabbed my stomach while she didn't miss a word in whatever
she was saying to Kelly and Suzie.

   Traci was still clinging to Peter, and at some point their lips had
become fused.  "Don't make me get a crowbar," I threatened.  Traci glared,
Peter turned red, but they separated.

   "Are you Darlene Reed?"

   Darlene looked startled and turned toward the interruption.  "Darlene
Carter."

   We'd been celebrating almost half-an-hour and were about ready to join
the various parental units in the lobby.  We'd opened the curtains ten
minutes earlier after the theater had cleared out to make it less stuffy.

   The man stepped out of the right side wings.  He was dressed in a cheap
suit and reminded me of a fire hydrant.  "You need to come with me."

   "Sorry, Dude," I said stepping between them.  "We don't do groupies or
stalkers.  Get lost." I noticed a second man in the shadows by the stage
door.

   "Don't interfere," he growled stepping closer.

   I smiled.  "Would you call throwing you off the front of the stage
interfering?"

   Ricky and Luke had moved up to one side of me, Chad Davis and Toby Reyes
the other, making a wall between the idiot and Darlene.

   "I'd call it assaulting a police officer," he said pulling a wallet from
his jacket and flipping it open and closed in an eye blink.  "Now get out
of the way, the girl is coming with me."

   "Don't think so." The guys had taken a step back, but Robbie had moved
up next to me.

   "Interfering with a police officer is against the law."

   "Tony's not very big on the law.  He was suspended the first week of
school and has threatened me several times." Mr.  Reed, Darlene's
stepfather, stepped out of the shadows.

   I smiled.  "To keep things straight, the school board overturned that
suspension and the administrator who sentenced me resigned rather than face
a hearing over his actions.  And my dad said I had more restraint than he
did for not hitting you."

   "That's irrelevant." I was impressed that the fire plug knew such a big
word and used it correctly.  "The girl needs to come with me."

   "Actually, no she doesn't."

   "One more word and you'll be coming, too.  Obstruction of justice should
be good for a few months in juvie."

   "Word." Maybe I could renew my friendship with Kenny.  From the corner
of my eye I saw somebody else coming onto the stage from the other side. 
"You have some problems, slick.  One, as far as I'm concerned, flipping a
wallet as fast as you can does not qualify as identifying yourself as a
cop."

   He growled.  He actually growled.

   "Two, even if you are the fuzz, you can't just grab someone without
cause.  And three, you may be pure bacon through and through, but you
should know the difference between interfering with a police officer and
obstruction of justice.  They're two completely different charges." I
grinned.  "And four, just for the hell of it, even if you could get a
conviction for interfering with a police officer, I'm not getting more than
probation and you should know it." I held my wrist out.  "Want to slip on
the cuffs?"

   Flatfoot.  I forgot to call him a flatfoot.

   "I'll teach you some manners," he growled advancing on me and raising
his arm to backhand me.  I'd given Peter King three shots.  This dude was
only getting one.

   "Excuse me," the newcomer said diffidently.

   "Beat it, pops.  This is police business.  It doesn't concern you."

   "Excuse me?" he said again, this time in shock.

   "Get lost!"

   The newcomer stepped forward.  He was dressed in a much nicer suit than
the fire plug, though a pajama leg stuck out of one leg of his pants. 
"Your supervisor, now!" he snapped.

   "Listen..."

   "No, you listen.  I am Judge Morgan.  And if your lieutenant isn't here
in twenty minutes, your chief will be here in thirty.  Better yet, make it
your captain."

   "My captain?" The fire plug turned white.

   "Now!" He looked around.  Robbie and I, backed by the guys, still formed
a wall between Darlene and the cop.

   "You!" he snapped, pointing at Darlene.  "Come here," then he softened
his tone.  "Please." I saw Robbie nod at Darlene, and she started toward
the judge, "The rest of you sit or something."

   Darlene and the judge sat on the bed in Zoe's set and talked while the
rest of us relaxed a little.  The fire plug pulled out his cell and turned
his back on my favorite stepparent.  Reed tried to argue.  The cop slapped
a hand over the mouthpiece and growled, "Piss off."

   Robbie walked over and handed the judge a stack of paper, then snagged
Kelly and sent her to the lobby.  A few minutes later Kelly came back with
Robbie's dad.  The rest of the parents followed him halfway down the aisle,
then took seats watching the stage.

   The fire plug watched them, distaste on his face.  Maybe he didn't like
performing in front of an audience.

   It was almost twenty-five minutes later when a tall man in a blue
uniform walked down the aisle, a pair of twin silver bars shining on his
shoulders.  I could see him taking in the strange scene.  An elderly man in
a suit talking to a teenaged girl on a bed on one side of a stage.  Two men
standing together on the other side, and a group of teenagers milling
around in the middle.  A small group of grown-ups sitting halfway down to
the stage, and another adult standing near the front of the stage.

   He approached the front of the stage, ignoring Mr.  Tate for the moment.
"What's going on here?"

   "Barry, is that you?" the judge asked.  The footlights were still on,
making the cop a dark blob as he stood just behind them.

   "It is.  John, what are you doing here?"

   "I never could resist the theater."

   I decided right then that I liked him.

   "I never liked the theater," the captain replied, "so why am I here?"

   "Your officer over there was about to arrest that young man." He waved
his arm in my direction.  "And I got the feeling that he wasn't going
quietly.  I figured your man needed backup."

   "From me?"

   The judge smiled.  "In my defense, I told him his captain.  I didn't
know it was you.  Come on up."

   "Would it have made a difference?" the top cop mumbled as he headed for
the stairs at the side of the stage.

   The big cop came up and took center stage.  "You were making an arrest?"
he asked the fire plug.

   "I, um..."

   "Obstruction of justice is the charge he mentioned," the judge said
helpfully.

   "You!" the big cop pointed at me.  "Who are you?"

   I stepped forward, wishing momentarily that my loving parents sitting a
dozen rows away believed in fighting my battles.  "Tony Sims, sir." The sir
wasn't buttering up, it just kind of slipped out.  The cop was just the
kind of guy you naturally said sir to.

   "And you're obstructing justice and refusing to be arrested?"

   I swallowed unconsciously.  "There's a difference of opinion as to
whether it's obstructing justice, interfering with a police office or just
protecting a friend."

   "Detective Mills is an officer of the law and..."

   "Maybe," I interrupted.

   "Maybe?"

   "Detective Mills, if that's who he is, came up here and started giving
orders, including that Miss Carter..." I indicated Darlene still sitting
next to the judge.  "Go with him.  As far as I was concerned, he was a
pervert trying to grab a cute girl.  It was several minutes later before he
flipped his wallet at me, which may or may not have a badge inside.  My
eyes ain't that quick."

   "You little piece of shit," the fire plug growled.  "I identified myself
as soon as I walked on stage."

   "I have witnesses," I offered.

   "Your little punk friends will probably lie for you."

   "We could go to the playback," Robbie suggested.

   "Playback?" said several voices at once, including mine.

   Robbie pointed at a video camera on a tripod in the wings.  "I was
taping our performance.  When I saw Mr.  Reed in the audience without
Darlene's mom, I left it running." Robbie smiled as sweetly as any angel.
"It will show that the detective never once identified himself by name or
rank, and like Tony said, he flashed his wallet at us, but gave us no
opportunity to examine any identification it may contain.

   "Oh," Robbie added as if in afterthought.  "Tony and I are both straight
A students.  The others are A and B students.  We're all involved in
athletics and other after-school activities, and when we sue the city of
Seattle for the defamation this so-called officer has used about us, I
doubt any jury is going to see us as punks."

   Now the captain lost some of his color.

   "And Tami may only be a punk kid, but she's got her own column in our
local paper and has been reprinted half-a-dozen times in the Times.

   The top cop shot a look at the judge, but I couldn't see that worthy's
reaction.  He turned toward the fire plug.  "Detective, I'm usually in my
office before eight.  I'll expect you to be there waiting for me."

   "I..."

   "Leave!  Now!" The fire plug exited stage left.  Literally.

   "Just a minute!" Reed exploded.  "What about me?  We were here to take
her home." He pointed at Darlene.

   "Barry, I think that's my cue," the judge said, standing and replacing
the captain at center stage.  I noticed the errant pajama leg had
disappeared, which made his image more professional.  I wondered if he'd
been asleep when Robbie called or just reading in bed.

   "I am Judge John Morgan of the King County Superior Court.  Young lady,"
he said, looking directly at Darlene.  "Is this what you want?" He held out
the stack of papers Robbie had given him.

   Darlene looked startled and glanced at Robbie.  Robbie nodded.  "Yes,
sir."

   The judge had caught the nod.  "This is very serious.  Your friends
can't be making this decision for you."

   "Robbie and Tony are more than friends, they're my..." she hesitated,
searching for the right word.  "My representation."

   "They look a little young to have passed the bar."

   "They may not have law degrees, but they have something better.  Trust."

   The judge nodded, seeming to accept that.  "And this is what you want?"

   "Yes, sir."

   "What is this nonsense?" Reed exploded.

   "This is a hearing on your stepdaughter's request for emancipation."

   "You can't do that!"

   "I can.  And yell again and I will cite you for contempt of court. 
Captain Jackson likes to go to bed early, and we're keeping him up past his
bedtime.  I'm sure he'd love an excuse to put someone in jail."

   I wondered if he could make it stick.  An ad hoc hearing in a theater in
the middle of the night?

   "I..."

   "However, sir, you are entitled to representation in these proceedings.
Your daughter..."

   "Stepdaughter," Robbie, Tami, Darlene and I all said together.

   "Your stepdaughter has hers.  We can postpone for you to get counsel."

   "That's what I want," Reed said quickly.

   "May I ask where the girl's mother is?"

   "She stayed home to take care of the little kids."

   The judge looked astonished.  "This girl's mother didn't want to see her
daughter perform in the finals of a state-wide play competition?"

   "She had to take care of the little kids," Reed repeated.

   "Her sisters didn't want to see her?"

   "They, um..."

   "Since the mother is the actual legal guardian, wouldn't it have made
more sense for you to stay with the kids while she collected her daughter?"

   "She ...  that is, I ...  I'll wait for my lawyer to continue."

   "Good.  That'll give me time to order family services to do a complete
review of your home and family.  In the meantime, I'll order Miss Carter
into the custody of Mr.  Tate.  Mr.  Tate, are you here?  Are you willing
to accept custody?"

   "Yes, your honor, I am," Robbie's dad said from the foot of the stage.
"For as long as necessary."

   "Mr.  Reed, if you will notify this court as soon as you've obtained
legal representation and are ready for a series of home inspections."

   "Mr.  Morgan, I mean Judge Morgan, your honor, is that really necessary?
My home is as well-run and loving as any."

   "Mr.  Reed, there are some serious charges in here about how the
division of responsibilities and rewards is determined in your household.
And I have to admit I am disturbed by the fact that you chose to come here
to attempt to exert your authority over your stepdaughter and did not
attempt it in your home county.  And that, apparently, you considered this
attempt more important than a mother seeing her daughter's moment of
triumph."

   "This is all ridiculous."

   "If it's ridiculous, then I'm sure family services will issue a report
commending your parenting style.  So, we will table this petition until you
notify me that you're ready for your inspections."

   "Yes, sir." Reed turned and not quite stomped from the stage.

   The judge fixed his gaze on Robbie.  "Young lady, I'm guessing that you
wrote this." It wasn't quite a question.

   Robbie stepped forward.  "Yes, sir.  Me and Tami.  That is, Tamerone
Sharp."

   The judge rifled through the papers slowly.  "This is very well done. 
Concise and well worded.  I've had petitions from experienced lawyers not
as well written.  If either of you decide on a career in law, I'll be happy
to write recommendations."

   "Judge, honey," Tami said in a drawl that would have done Robbie proud
at her Tennessee best, "if I decide to become a lawyer, he'll divorce me,
and we-all cain't even get marred for another yar-and-a-half." She'd
pointed at me during this.

   I grinned and shrugged.  I didn't think it was the best time to explain
where lawyers ranked in my universe.

   Darlene rode with Tami and me in the mini-van back to the hotel.  Mom
still had my 'Stang.  The others went with various parents.

   "You look bummed," Tami said as they shared the front passenger seat.

   "I guess I should be happy.  I mean we've put it off another week or
two," Darlene said in a voice that definitely wasn't happy.

   "You should be dancing on the ceiling 'cause you've won." I said as I
turned into the Hilton's parking structure.

   "Won?"

   "Yes, won.  Your case won't come to a hearing until your step-dad wants
to invite family services into his house.  How soon do you think that will
be?"

   "But..."

   "Your petition that Tami and Robbie worked so hard on will sit in a
filing cabinet until you're eighteen, then get thrown away."

   "But..."

   "It was Robbie's plan B," Tami explained.  "She figured Reed might try
to get smart and grab you out of county.  Her dad has a friend in juvenile
court here in Seattle who told her to call Judge Morgan if that happened."

   "It was a set-up?"

   "Nope, but they knew how Morgan would react.  If your step-dad had been
smart, he would have asked for the hearing then and there.  If he lost, and
with Morgan, he probably would have, he could have easily appealed since
King County doesn't have jurisdiction anyway."

   "You mean I'm free?" Darlene asked in amazement.

   "Nope.  Better." I shut off the van and looked at her.  "I mean you're a
Tate."



   Chapter 7

   "Mom's mad at me," I said, tossing my cell phone on the unoccupied bed
and shutting the door.

   "What'd you do now?" Traci asked, dealing six cards to Robbie.  I don't
know why everyone doesn't want a little sister.

   "Not sure." I looked over Robbie's shoulder at the cribbage board.  She
and Traci were just a few points apart about halfway through the game. 
Tami, Darlene, Mikee, and Kelly sat around the edges of the bed watching.

   I sat down next to my phone.  Mikee and Kelly had shown up a few minutes
after Darlene, Robbie, Tami and I got back from the play.  Their parents,
like mine, were staying at the Holiday Inn instead of the Hilton.  Traci
wandered in a few minutes after that and told me that Mom wanted me to
call. I'd grabbed my phone, then took a walk around the hotel a few times
while I talked to her.  "Is there a reason everyone is hanging out in my
room?"

   Tami gave me a sharp look.  "Actually, it's my room.  And unless you
want to go sit by yourself in YOUR room, you'll be nice to my friends."

   I nodded, though she'd turned back to the game and couldn't see me. 
"Where's Peter?" I asked to change the subject.

   "He went with Mom and Dad to get something to eat," Mikee said.  "We
weren't hungry." Figuring I was in enough trouble, I ignored the pretzels
in her hand.

   Robbie cut the deck and Traci turned over an eight.

   "Damn!" Robbie muttered.

   I smiled to myself.  "Let me guess.  You discarded two perfectly
harmless cards, but that eight made them valuable."

   "How'd you know?" Robbie almost snarled.

   "Who do you think taught her to play cribbage when he got tired of
losing at Monopoly?" It was a rhetorical question, and no one answered me.
"Traci always gets a good top card when it's her crib."

   "I should have let you bury her in the woods when we were on our road
trip," Robbie said, leading a six.

   "Hey!" Traci complained.  "I'm right here."

   "Not for long." Robbie said.  "Mikee, see if your brother is back. 
Maybe she'll go make out, and somebody else can win."

   Mikee giggled but didn't move.

   "So, why's your mom mad?" Tami asked.

   "I think it's the Darlene situation."

   "Hey!" Darlene whined.  "It wasn't my fault."

   "No, it's the situation, not you.  Though if she met your step-daddy in
a dark alley he'd leave with some bruises.  I think she wanted to do a
family dinner after the play.  But since we didn't get out of there until
almost midnight..."

   "Oh," someone said while Robbie counted the cards in her hand and looked
disgusted.

   "Anyway, Trace, tomorrow you and I are doing the brunch thing with the
parents.  Ten-thirty sharp, and bad things will happen if we're so much as
a minute late." Traci nodded as she counted her hand and moved her peg far
in front of Robbie's.  "Tami and Robbie, you are specifically invited, with
the same dire warnings applied about lateness."

   "My mom..."

   "Is in the loop.  I'm not sure if she's coming, but Mom said your mom
and Robbie's dad knew all about it."

   Tami nodded as Traci turned over her crib, three eights and a seven to
go with her eight top card.

   Robbie looked at the cards and stood.  "I'm going to bed," she
announced.

   "But the game isn't over yet," Mikee said.

   Robbie shook her head.  "After she pegs all that she needs one point,
and next hand, she counts first," she explained.

   I grinned.  Traci's luck could be annoying.  "The rest of you weren't
specifically invited, but weren't disinvited either, so feel free to come.
And now..." I stood and moved over to the other bed, laying my hands gently
on Tami's shoulders.  " ...  I hope you take this in the spirit of
friendship, love, and respect in which it's meant.  Get out," I said to the
rest of them.

   "Your mom called," Tami said as I opened the bathroom door to let out
some of the steam.

   "Here?" I asked as I toweled dry.

   "Yes, here." Tami said and giggled.  "We're supposed to meet them at the
restaurant, not here or their motel.  I've got directions." When Mom told
me she knew about Tami and me having sex, she'd said to keep being
discreet. I wondered if her calling Tami's hotel room to leave me a message
counted against that.  Hell, I wondered if she'd even bothered to call my
room first.

   "I see you brought a friend," Tami said with a grin as I walked out of
the bathroom.  "Put it away.  I'm not getting grounded 'cause you were late
to brunch."

   The clock said ten straight up.  "But we..."

   "No," she said in a tone that indicated that not only was the discussion
closed, but anything I said could be used against me.

   I shrugged, turned to my suitcase, and started pulling out clean
clothes. Tami was on the room phone as I dressed.  She hung up as I pulled
on my second sock.  "Any idea who all is coming?"

   "That was Robbie.  She and Darlene will be ready in a couple more
minutes.  I called Traci, too.  Did you want to hear about a sleepy male
voice in the background of her room?

   "No!" I said emphatically as I tied on a shoe.  "Is he coming?"

   "Nope.  Peter and his sisters are going to Olympia with their folks. 
They'll be home tomorrow."

   I nodded and stood up.

   "Were you going to put on pants, or were you planning to give my dad a
thrill.?'

   Tami stuck her tongue out.  "I figure your mom gives your dad enough
thrills."

   I shuddered.  "Not going there."

   Tami grinned, stood, and started pulling on a pair of jeans over her
candy cane panties.  "You are so weirded out by that."

   "I was thinking.  Your dad's such a big guy, and your mom..."

   Tami made a face.  "Point taken." She fastened her jeans and sat down
again to put on shoes.  "Think our kids will be weirded out by us?"

   I shrugged.  "It's traditional."

   "Except in those stories you used to read."

   I grinned.  "Yeah, in a lot of those it's traditional for a father to
initiate his daughters into sex and a mother to do her sons."

   "Hands on sex ed.  I can't imagine a girl having sex with her father. 
Think anybody we know...  ?"

   "Nah.  Happens a lot more in fiction than in real life."

   "What was the name of this place again?"

   "The Ugly Duckling," Tami answered Darlene as I held the front door open
for the four girls.

   "Think they serve duck?" Robbie asked, holding open the inside door.

   "Not for breakfast, I hope," I said as I followed the troop inside.

   "I don't know how you could eat a cute little duck," Darlene said,
running her hand through her hair.  Between the wind and a light rain it
looked a little disheveled.  It had been perfect when we left the hotel.

   "You eat cute little chickens," Traci pointed out.

   "That's different," Darlene insisted.

   "Don't worry," I said, laying my arm on her shoulders.  "It's breakfast.
I'm sure they have eggs and pancakes and stuff." Darlene looked relieved.
"How do you feel about scrambled duck eggs?"

   Darlene looked shocked.  "They don't?"

   I shrugged.  Personally, I'd never heard of the place until Tami pulled
into the parking lot.

   "Don't pick on Darlene," Robbie said, flicking my arm off Darlene's
shoulders and giving her a hug.  "She's my new chicken coop cleaner."

   "Chicken coop cleaner?" Darlene seemed surprised.

   "You have to pay for room and board somehow."

   I grinned and stepped up to the glass counter filled with ceramic and
chocolate ducks.  "Hi.  We're meeting my parents for breakfast.  Sims."

   The waitress, a cute twenty-something in a starched pink uniform with a
duck head emblem over her left breast, consulted a chart on a clipboard. 
"Sims.  That's meeting room two." She picked up five oversized menus. 
"Right this way."

   We followed her through a pretty standard dining room, except for duck
paintings everywhere, to the far wall with four doors numbered one to four.
The waitress opened number two and ushered us in.

   It was a long paneled room with more duck pictures on the walls.  Mom
and Dad sat at the far end of a long table big enough for twenty or so.  A
couple of people I didn't know were sitting to my parents' right, opposite
a Hispanic woman.  She looked vaguely familiar, but her head was turned
mostly away from me, talking to Mom.

   Dad smiled at us, but before either of us could say anything I was
tackled from the side by one of those alien creatures that suck the soul
right out of you.  The creature attached itself to my body, and it's soul
sucking tentacle wormed into my mouth.  I probably would have fallen on my
butt, but Robbie braced me.  Knowing Robbie, she'd done it instinctively.
If she'd had time to think, she would have let me land on my ass.

   It took a second to realize that the alien was actually a girl.  And the
tentacle a tongue, one that was actively dueling mine.  It was another
second before I realized it was...  "Hailey!" I gasped, disengaging her and
setting her on the ground.

   "Hi, Cuz."

   "What are...  ?" I couldn't finish the question because another bundle
was in my arms.  Red-headed this time.  Cinnamon kissed me, but without a
tongue.  Cinnamon let go of me to hug Robbie.  I could see Hailey hugging
Traci, though not as actively.  "I..." A third bundle interrupted me. 
Blonde this time.  "Doctor Blondie," I said after a perfunctory kiss.  Of
course, after Hailey, anything short of a blowjob was perfunctory.

   My mind was spinning.  Cinnamon and Wynter should be in Colorado. 
Hailey should be in Hawaii.  No, Oregon.  No, Colorado with the other two.
But they were here.  Definitely here.  My cock twitched, and I wished Tami
and I had had more time after my shower.  And Mom and Dad sitting with the
three strangers.  Three ...  Rosita.

   What was Rosita doing here?

   And Mom?  What was Mom going to think about Hailey's greeting?  Where
were my hands when Hailey tackled me.  God, I hope I hadn't grabbed her
ass. Had I fondled her ass in front of my mother?  I was never going to
hear the end of it.

   The strange man looked slightly annoyed.  The woman, his wife, I
guessed, had her hand covering a grin.  Mom, Dad, and Rosita looked amused.

   What the hell was going on?

   Hailey, Cinnamon and Wynter had finished hugging all the girls.  "Cousin
Tony, Cousin Traci, ladies, these are my parents, Gerry and Viv," Hailey
introduced.  She noticed the confused look on my face, because she added,
"Hey!  Do I, like, need to explain which is which?"

   "Hailey!" the strange man, Gerry, said sharply.

   Hailey frowned at him.  "Oh, cram it, Daddy!  Tony's, like, so the
family!"

   "How...  ?  Why...  ?" I stammered.

   "The play," Tami said, seeming to be as stunned as I was.

   "They came up to watch," Mom confirmed.

   "Close your mouth, Sport.  And come sit down." Dad hadn't called me
Sport in a long time.

   We sat, Cinnamon and Hailey on either side of me and Wynter across the
table with Robbie and Tami on either side of her.  Traci sat between
Hailey's mom and Tami.

   "Somebody stop the world.  I'm ready to get off now," I said as Robbie
passed out the menus the waitress had left on the end of the table.

   "Your cousins came to watch the play," Dad said.

   "It would have been nice if you'd actually invited us," Rosita said
sternly.  She held the stern look for several seconds, then laughed.

   "But...  ?"

   "Here we were, just moved to Oregon, only a few hundred miles away, and
you didn't even tell us there was a play," Hailey's dad said, giving his
hand a dramatic overhead flourish.

   "But...  ?"

   "We find new family and he ignores us," his wife added, stabbing an
accusatory finger at me.

   "But...  ?"

   "Tony!" Robbie said sharply.  I looked across the table at her.  She
took a deep breath, held it, and let it out.  I took the hint and followed
suit.

   "Party pooper," Hailey mumbled.

   "They all came to see the play," I said.  It may not have been the most
intelligent comment I could make, but I was still trying to catch up.

   "I invited them and got them tickets."

   I looked over at Robbie again.  "You did?"

   She nodded.  "You and Tami were busy with gymnastics and other things."
Her last two words were barely audible, but with the nod she gave me, I
knew she was talking about worrying about her.

   "I knew you'd forgotten that Gerry and Viv had just moved to Oregon, so
I got their phone number from Cinnamon, called, and invited them.  Then I
invited Cinnamon's family for good measure."

   "I invited Wynter since she's a cousin too," Cinnamon added.

   "So you were all there last night," I said brightly.

   "Right in the eighth row between us and Robbie's sister," Dad said. 
"We..."

   "Sam was there?"

   I grinned at Robbie.  "I guess you weren't the only one with a
surprise."

   She stuck her tongue out.

   Cinnamon's eyes had moved non-stop, observing everyone while we
interrupted her.  When she saw that we were finished, she continued. 
"Daddy was going to come, but Mrs.  Rikorson is due in a few days and was
having complications."

   "Hey, it was either leave him or, like, leave Wynter.  We so couldn't
take both of the best obstetricans at the same time.  It, like, so wouldn't
be fair!" Hailey added.

   Wynter smiled at the compliment.  "He's worried about Mrs.  Rikorson and
an abruptio placentae.  It's not life threatening, but has to be watched
closely.

   "And he wouldn't want you traveling without the best OB in Colorado,"
Traci said.

   "What?" Rosita said startled.

   I looked at Traci, then Rosita, then back at Trace.

   "You're pregnant, aren't you?" Traci asked, a little embarrassed now.

   "How did...  ?  I'm not showing.  I know I'm not."

   I got up, stepped around Cinnamon and kissed Rosita on the cheek. 
"Congratulations."

   "But how did she...  ?"

   "Traci always knows," Mom said.

   "A few dozen woman have heard from Traci long before the rabbit died,"
Dad added.

   "They don't use rabbits anymore," Traci giggled.

   "They don't?" Dad seemed surprised.  I guess it was a good thing he
never gave me much of a sex talk.

   "They never actually used rabbits much anyway, it was usually mice,"
Wynter explained.

   "The mouse died.  Doesn't sound right," Dad commented.

   "Actually, the mouse or rabbit always died, independent of the test
results." I recognized that Wynter was going into lecture mode.  I just
hoped there wouldn't be a test afterwards.  "Well, almost always.  They
were testing for the effect of the human chorionic gonadotropin or hCG
hormone produced by the embryo and the placenta on the animal's ovaries." I
saw the look of concentration on Wynter's face and knew she was trying to
make sure she pronounced everything right.  I think she did, but what did I
know?

   "First blood or urine are subcutaneously injected into an immature test
subject."

   "Ewwww," Traci said, voicing my opinion too.

   "Then the test animal had to be surgically examined to determine
pregnancy by looking to see if the hCG induced ovulation, and it usually
wasn't worth the time or expense to keep it alive."

   "That's terrible," Darlene said.

   "That's why back in the fifties they replaced it with the frog test."

   "The frog died," Dad said making a face.

   Wynter smiled.  "They didn't have to kill the frog.  If there was hCG,
the frog would produce an egg within twenty-four hours.  Since frog eggs
gestate outside the body, it wasn't necessary to kill the frog.  But now
the test is entirely chemical, though both chemical and animal testing can
give a false negative reading if performed too soon after fertilization."

   Wynter smiled.  It was the exact same smile that Mrs.  Ustinov always
had whenever I gave wrong answer in the fifth grade.  Especially when I
sounded sure of myself.

   I glanced at Cinnamon.  Her head was tilted slightly to one side and her
unblinking eyes were fixed on Dad in that computronic way she had.  She
wore a smile of pride that I realized was for Wynter, her adopted sister,
as she studied his reaction.

   "Daddy, you said you got an A in sex ed," Traci accused.

   Dad turned red.  "I did, but they didn't teach us that," he mumbled.  He
was saved further embarrassment by Tami and Robbie coming round to hug
Rosita.  Traci followed with a glare at Dad.  He'd given her a hard time
over a C in health the first nine weeks, saying he'd gotten an A in sex ed
when he took it.

   "Are we ready to order?" A different waitress asked as she popped in.

   After all the talk about injecting urine and frog ovaries, I wasn't sure
I was hungry anymore.

   While the ordering was going on--a process complicated by Hailey and
Traci who kept changing their minds--I took the opportunity to check out
Hailey's parents.  Even sitting down I could tell her father, Gerry, was
short, but I could see the resemblance to Hailey and Cinnamon in his face,
and I'm not usually good at seeing family resemblances.  I'd guess Viv was
a couple inches taller, though it was hard to tell with them sitting down.
I couldn't see much resemblance to Hailey in her face except they both had
the same grey-green eyes.

   The waitress left--probably to find a new job--and the talk turned back
to the new baby.  Or new fetus to be correct.  I wouldn't want to start a
new lecture by using the wrong term.  My girls all wanted to talk about
names, with Trace suggesting that Traci was the perfect name.  I bit my
tongue, deciding not to remind her of how many times she'd complained about
the ordinariness of her name.

   I exchanged a look with Dad that included Gerry.  Females get way too
excited about the simple perpetuating of the species.

   "So, Tony, I understand you're responsible for what we saw last night?"
Gerry said when the girls wound down.

   "Actually, our friend Mikee, Michelle Temple--her sister played
Crystal--is responsible.  It was her idea.  I just put the words on paper."

   "Tony's being modest," Tami said.

   "As usual," Robbie added.

   "Mikee suggested it, then Tony wrote the whole thing in a night."

   "Not the music," I corrected.

   "Then he and Mikee worked on it in secret for weeks, until we found out
we were back in the school's play contest," Tami continued as if I hadn't
interrupted.

   "And the rest is history," Robbie concluded.

   "And very good history," Rosita said.  "I couldn't believe how good it
was."

   "We've seen shows on Broadway that weren't that good," Viv said.

   "Fancier staging maybe," Gerry added.  "Fancier prices too."

   "Thank you.  But Robbie was the director.  She made everything work."

   "It turned out pretty good considering I got stuck with the writer's
girlfriend and sister."

   "Hey!" in stereo.

   "So, are you going to, like, win?" Hailey asked from beside me.  I
ignored the hand on my thigh under the table.

   I shrugged.  "We have five plays to beat, and we've only seen one, so
it's hard to know who's the best.  Plus, you never know what the judges
will like."

   "It's out of our hands," Robbie added with a shrug of her own.

   "Hey, you should so win," Hailey said.  "You guys were, like, so the
awesome!"

   "Thanks."

   Her hand had climbed almost to my crotch.  I adjusted it down to my
knee, then gave her knee a squeeze for good measure.  From Cinnamon's smile
next to me, I was pretty sure she knew what was happening beneath the
table.

   Two waitresses and a waiter brought the food and spent a good five
minutes getting it organized.  "I didn't order this," Traci complained. 
"Did I?" she asked, looking at Mom.

   Mom nodded.  Traci shrugged and took a bite of her Mexican omelet.

   "I have trouble keeping track," Rosita said after a few minutes of
eating.  "Are you in school this week, or kicked out?"

   'I never really liked Rosita, ' I thought as I felt the heat rise in my
cheeks.  'But her food's good.'

   "They've been here for the play all week, but I think the school will
take him back on Monday," Mom said with a grin.

   "Unless there's something he hasn't told us," Dad added.  See if I ever
make his Porsche payment again.

   "I am a student in good standing.  In fact..." I could see Robbie's
stare just daring me to say I was number one.  "I was one of the two top
students last nine weeks." I grinned at Robbie.

   "He usually only gets suspended once a year.  Since he's already done
that this year, we're hoping he's done," Mom said.

   I never liked that woman.

   "But he usually gets suspended in the spring, so he's still due," Traci
added.

   My whole family.

   "Hey!  Daddy says you're so the bad influence.  Mom, like, thinks it's
so the cool that you didn't just take everything Parker gave you," Hailey
said.

   The looks on their faces said they hadn't meant to make that public.

   "I didn't say he was a bad influence.  I said you don't need any more
bad influences," Hailey's father clarified.

   "And I said ...  Oh, the heck with it.  I gave most of my teachers hell,
but I never got one fired."

   "Neither did Tony.  He got Parker suspended.  Then Parker quit rather
than face a hearing," Tami explained.

   "So what happened exactly?" Hailey's mother asked leaning forward.  "You
told Cinnamon some of it on the phone, but she said you were tight with the
details."

   "I was trying not to be a bad influence."

   "Too late." From the smiles, everyone at the table had chimed in.

   So I rehashed football season with a lot of help--if you can call it
that--from my girls.

   "How did ...  um ...  Luke?" Wynter looked at me for confirmation, and I
nodded.  "Luke turn out?  Did he stay clean?"

   "He did.  At least all through the season when he was getting tested
every week.  And I think he's going to stay that way.  I owe you big time."

   Wynter grinned.

   "No, Luke owes you big time," Robbie clarified.  "We're pretty sure he's
getting at least two offers.  And that's just Pac Ten.

   "What about the other one, Mike, her brother," Gerry asked, nodding
toward Darlene.

   "Stepbrother," five voices said at once.

   "I know Mike's getting an offer from Coach Branson at OSU.  A lot of
schools were looking.  I don't know if his broken arm scared them off or
not."

   "Probably not," Darlene said bitterly.  "Mike'll play college ball, then
go to the pros and never work a day in his life."

   "Hey!" Robbie said quickly.  "Football's work."

   "You know what I mean."

   Robbie and I nodded.

   "So with the step-putz gone, who's going to be the quarterback?" Rosita
asked.

   "He is." "She is." Robbie and I said together.

   I grinned at her.  "It'll be up to whoever coaches next year.  I think
it works good when we split it.  The different styles keep the other side
guessing."

   "And you'll win the big trophy next year?" Viv asked.

   "Yes!" Robbie said definitely before I could answer.

   "In the words of Mr.  Q or Mr.  R or Mr.  S or something, 'I pity the
poor fool who gets in her way'."

   "Mr.  T," Dad offered with a shake of his head.  Personally I think he
watches way too much television.

   "You can always get Darlene and her friends to try what my Voxy Lady
did," Gerry said.

   "Germy!" She protested with a smile.

   Voxy Lady?  Germy?  I like these people.

   "What did she do?" Traci wanted to know.

   Germy, Gerry grinned.  Viv, the Voxy Lady grinned.  "I was a
cheerleader. During playoffs, me and the other cheerleaders flashed our
tits at the other team's quarterback a few times."

   "And who's idea was it," Gerry prompted.

   "You are so sleeping on the couch when we get home," she said without
spite and answered the question, in my mind at least.

   "You were a cheerleader?" Darlene asked, amazed.  "You, uh, don't seem
the type."

   Hailey grinned.  Under the table, her hand slid up to my crotch again.
"Mom tried out just to, like, tweak Maryanne Simmons."

   I moved her hand down to safer territory.

   Viv nodded.  "Maryanne was a super prep who always got on my last nerve.
There were three openings on the squad my junior year, and Maryanne was so
sure that she and her two clones were going to get them.  I tried out just
to spite her and made it.  Then I surprised myself by liking it."

   "Did Maryanne make the squad?" I asked.

   "No." Viv looked very satisfied.  "Neither did her wannabes."

   "And you really flashed the other team?" Darlene asked.  I knew how she
felt.  Sometimes it was hard to believe that parents had lives.

   "And got suspended for it," Gerry said.

   I looked at Mom.  "So I guess suspensions run in the family."

   "Not any more."

   "But we won the playoff game," Viv added.

   "So it was worth it?" Robbie asked.

   Viv hesitated, looking at her daughter, then Cinnamon.  "Yes," she said
definitely.

   "Did you go to school with her?" Tami asked looking at Gerry.

   "Only the last four months.  I missed football season, but they were
still talking about it when I transferred."

   "Grandma Millie, like, didn't believe in public schools," Hailey said.
Then added pompously, "She was like so only the best for her baby boy".

   Gerry tried to look stern, something he didn't do well.  "Be careful
young lady or there's a Swiss boarding school with your name on it."

   Hailey grinned.  "Hey!  So the cool!  I know how to ski now.  Think
I'll, like, last longer than you did?"

   Viv giggled.  "Gerry got tossed out of five schools before he came to
Bayside."

   "On purpose," he qualified.  "I didn't like being an elitist."

   "Un huh," Hailey and Viv agreed nodding their heads, but the looks on
their faces spreading some doubt.

   "How come you got tossed out of school?" Traci asked.  "You must be
pretty smart.  You've already got a masters in marine biology.  And now
you're working on your doctorate."

   Hailey and her mom shared a look then both started laughing.

   "What's so funny?" Traci demanded.

   "Daddy, like, almost didn't get his masters," Hailey said, still
laughing.

   "He almost got thrown out of the program at OIMB several times," her mom
added.  "He'd party all night and sleep through class time.  And a few
practical jokes backfired.  Germy only got his degree because Professor
Hoover liked him, saying he'd never seen a student with such a grasp of
marine ecology." She smiled at Wynter.  "Somewhat like the natural grasp
some people have of medicine.  Germy's the first one Hoover called when he
got the funding for that Antarctic expedition, and Hoover is the reason
he's now pursuing his doctorate.  Hoover's his advisor, too."

   "So, I've got my son, who's already got a habit of getting kicked out of
school once a year, hanging out with a woman who was suspended for flashing
a football game and a man who's been thrown out of five schools and almost
out of his masters program." Dad looked at Mom.  "Honey, this family
reunion may not have been one of our best ideas."

   Mom smiled.  "I think OIMB's graduate school has more to worry about
Tony rubbing off on Gerry.  Tony stopped being impressionable years ago."

   I looked across at Robbie.  "I'm not sure whether I should be insulted
or proud."

   "They're parents.  Both."

   I looked out the window behind my parents.  The rain had stopped, and
the wind had died down.  "I think I'll take a walk to settle my breakfast.
Who's up for it?"

   Tami and the cousins volunteered.  Wynter was listening to the adults
dissect the war, and Traci, Darlene and Robbie just looked too comfortable.

   "Hey, I so wish I could see your school," Hailey said as we walked
around the block.  My arm was around Tami and my hand and hers in their
accustomed places in back pockets.  Hailey walked next to me, and Cinnamon
on the other side of Tami.

   "I do too.  Maybe you can visit next summer." Right after I arrange to
send every male in the county between twelve and eighteen to camp.  Wait.
We're talking Hailey.  Everybody in the county between ten and twenty.

   Cinnamon looked thoughtful.

   "We're hoping to do another road trip this summer," Tami said.  "And
we'll definitely want to come see you."

   "We could come along," Hailey volunteered.

   "Sorry, I'm not licensed to drive a school bus."

   "School bus?" Hailey looked at me strangely.

   "School bus.  Me and Tami, Robbie and Darlene, Mikee and Kelly, and
Traci.  That makes seven.  Traci's gonna wanna bring Peter.  And last year
Tami wanted to add Ashley but she had other plans.  That's nine.  Then you
two, and if you come.  we'll have Wynter too.  Wynter'll bring Jimmy.  Then
you'll probably want to add what's his name, the kid with the weird name,
for Cinnamon, and that's fourteen.  You'll want to bring along at least one
for yourself, so we're up to fifteen, minimum.  Plus sleeping bags, tents
and everything else.  We definitely talking school bus."

   "I could get you one," Cinnamon volunteered.

   "That I don't doubt."

   Cinnamon smiled.  "I was thinking..."

   Why do alarm bells go off in my head when my red-headed cousin says
those three little words?  I glanced at Cinnamon out of the corner of my
eye.  She was smiling as if she knew exactly about the alarms in my head.
"Yes...  ?" I prompted reluctantly.

   "We could go home with you, check out your trailer park and school, then
fly out of Wenatchee at six ten Monday afternoon." Why wasn't I surprised
that Cinnamon knew Wenatchee was the closest commercial airport?  Or that
she knew the flight schedules?  "I don't have anything important on Monday,
and neither does Cuz."

   The alarm bells turned into air raid warning sirens.

   "You know Hailey's school schedule?" Tami asked surprised.

   "Somebody has to."

   "Hey!" Hailey protested.

   "I'm not ...  not sure that would be a good idea," I said.  "You've
already missed a day of school.  Even if nothing important is happening,
you shouldn't miss another."

   Cinnamon stopped walking.  I turned at looked at her.  She put her fists
on her hips.  "Listen here, Mister One-of-the-Two-Top-Students.  You're not
the only one who does good at school."

   "I..."

   "And I'd bet my boat that you were number one and Robbie number two and
you were trying not to hurt her feelings."

   "And Cuz, like, really likes her boat," Hailey added.

   I hesitated.  "I wasn't trying to save Robbie's feelings.  It's just
that Monster Girl could teach the Mafia a thing or two about vendetta, and
I try not to get on her bad side.  Not too far on her bad side anyway."

   "If you don't want us to come, just say so." Cinnamon glared at me,
daring me to say so.

   "I..." None of the sitcom families I'd watched ever had to deal with
pissed off red-headed nymphomaniac cousins.  Why did I?  "It's just..."

   Tami's hand squeezed my butt through my jeans "Tony's just trying to
protect you," she said with a smile.  "He knows I've become a jealous bitch
lately, and if one of you tried to sleep with him you'd need an emergency
hair transplant."

   'She knows!' I thought.  I'd thought she might but hadn't been sure,
then I remembered that she'd said seven when talking about my conquests.

   "Huh?  But, like, last summer you so let..." Hailey sputtered.

   "That was then." Tami disengaged herself from me and faced Hailey. 
"This is now!"

   "One more thing," I said, turning to face Hailey myself.  "Traci has a
boyfriend, an innocent kid named Peter.  You do more than kiss him on the
cheek and I'll spank."

   Hailey's eyes sparkled.  "Kink..."

   "It WON'T be an erotic experience, but it will be a painful one."

   "Hey!  Why's everyone, like, looking at me?" Hailey protested
innocently.

   "Because you're the oldest.  We figure you can keep Cinnamon in line."

   Behind me it sounded like Cinnamon was choking.



   Chapter 8

   I remember reading a memoir by some general who talked about the
'logistical nightmare' of coordinating D-Day in World War II.  Twelve
thousand planes: fighters, bombers, transports, even gliders.  Almost seven
thousands ships: everything from battleships for shore bombardment to
landing craft to hit the actual beaches.  Ten thousand tons of aerial bombs
and millions of rounds of ammunition.  Food, clothing, medical supplies.

   Add to that he was dealing with eight different navies and almost as
many air forces and armies, and I could understand his description.

   The general had it easy.

   First we got Rosita out in the lobby to talk about Cinnamon.  Rosita
decided to defer to Mitch, so Cin had to call home.  Cinny and he talked
back and forth while the rest of us gave them some space.  Then he talked
to Rosita, then Cinnamon again.  Finally, in the grand tradition of
Solomon, he rendered his decision.  Cinnamon could go if ALL the others
could.

   While I was still trying to decide if I was relieved or disappointed by
his decision, Wynter got on the phone to her parents.  First they discussed
the invitation, then the state of Wynter's school work.  I wasn't worried.
I didn't know her well, but I'd bet anything short of my Stang that she
never left work till the last minute.

   In fact, if she wasn't at least two chapters in front of all her
teachers, I'd...  "Huh?"

   Wynter pushed the phone at me again.  "Welcome back," she said with a
grin.  "She wants to talk to you."

   "Hello," I said, bringing the phone to my ear.  "Mrs.  King?"

   "Tony?"

   I admitted who I was.

   "Wynter was just telling me about your invitation for the girls." I
wondered if I should qualify that Cinnamon had invited them.  "Hailey's
told me about your habit of bringing home strays." I decided that cousin
Hailey needed a gag to go along with a chastity belt.  "How does your
mother feel about this invasion?"

   I laughed.  "You got me.  We haven't told her yet."

   "I see."

   "The idea just came up, and we thought we'd sound out you and the other
parents first.  Mitch said it was okay as long as all the girls could come.
But I know my mom, she'll be thrilled.  Dad'll grumble, but he'll be happy
too.  Besides, Mom hasn't turned down a stray yet."

   "But you haven't brought them home three at a time yet either, have
you?"

   "Well, no."

   "Maybe we should surprise her and ask her first," she suggested.

   I looked at Tami, mouthed 'Mom' and pointed toward the breakfast room.
"I don't know," I stalled.  "Asking her first would probably just confuse
her."

   Mrs.  King laughed.  "Probably," she agreed.  "But it would make me feel
better."

   "I could ask my sister Traci instead.  In family meetings, if we agree
it's a done deal."

   Mrs.  King laughed again.  "You're not telling me anything I hadn't
already figured out, but just for form's sake, let's ask your mom."

   Mom was just following Tami out of the main restaurant.

   "Hold on, here she is." I pulled the phone a couple inches away from my
mouth so that Mrs.  King would hear too.  "Mom, I've invited Cousin
Cinnamon, Cousin Hailey, and Adopted Cousin Wynter to stay over so they can
check out the town and school, but Wynter's mom ACTUALLY thinks I should
ask first.  Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?"

   Mom laughed, and I could hear Wynter's mom chuckling over the phone. 
"Well, it would be a first.  May I?" she asked reaching for the phone.

   I handed it to her.

   "I'm not used to having my opinion asked except at work, but..." I
motioned the girls toward the breakfast room while Mom talked.  I'd been
pretty sure that when I emphasized the cousin thing, it was a done deal.

   "Now all you have to do is, like, talk my parents into it," Hailey
muttered as I held the door for the girls.

   Talk them into it?  I'd figured they'd be the easy ones since they'd
already had to abandon Hailey for a year while they went to Antarctica. 
That plus they were here.  Wynter's parents should have been the hard ones
since they were both back in Colorado, and unless I missed my guess, they
were onboard as soon as Mom cleared it.

   I closed the door behind me and stopped.  "And just why will WE have to
talk them into it?  I thought Cinnamon said you didn't have anything
important on Monday." I emphasized 'we' really hard since I'd felt Hailey's
'you' had my name on it.

   "Hey, I'm uh ...  kinda, well, like, not doing so well in ...  I mean,
it's so not like I'll ever use it."

   I looked at Cinnamon.  "She might fail history."

   I looked back at Hailey.  "Those who don't learn history are doomed to
repeat it."

   "Huh?"

   I shook my head in disgust.  What's the younger generation coming to?

   "Hey, it's so not the problem.  We'll just say..."

   "What are you studying?  Why are you failing?  And what's it going to
take to get you a pass?"

   "Like, it's so not the big.  I'll..."

   I put my hands on Hailey's shoulders and looked her straight in the
eyes. "WHAT are you studying?"

   Hailey looked startled but answered.  "The creation of Israel and the
Seven Day War."

   I was going to assume that was the Six Day War or history in Colorado
was very different.

   "WHY are you failing?"

   "It's, like, nothing major.  I just, like..."

   I looked over at Cinnamon.  "She blew her last four tests."

   I looked back at Hailey.  "I'll guess you had more important things to
do than study.  Or should I say more important boys to do?"

   "Tony!"

   I ignored Tami's interruption.  "And WHAT'S it going to take to get you
a pass?"

   This time Hailey didn't try to evade.  "Mrs.  Cleaver said if I get,
like, at least a B minus on my final Thursday I'll, like, squeak by."

   I looked at Cinnamon again.  "About a seventy to seventy-five, or does
she grade on a curve?"

   "Hey!  I'm still, like, in the room."

   My hands were still on Hailey's shoulders.  I squeezed just a little but
didn't look at her.  "And if you want to be tomorrow, shut up." I nodded at
Cinnamon.

   "Sixty-nine or seventy should do it." Cinnamon agreed.

   I looked back at Hailey.  "We're going to go sit down now.  You're going
to sit close on my right.  If my hand isn't on your knee, you're not
talking.  If I squeeze with my fingers, agree.  My thumb, disagree.  No
squeezing, say what you want.  No hand, no talk."

   "Ki..."

   "Say 'kinky' and there's a plane with your name on it this afternoon."

   Hailey pouted and stomped off toward her chair.

   "She's not dumb, you know," Wynter defended her adopted sister.

   I winked.  "I know, but she doesn't have her vocal cords hooked to her
brain."

   "Sometimes," she agreed.  "Unfortunately, there's no effective procedure
to permanently connect them, either."

   "Remind me to tell you about the school elections last year," Cinnamon
added.  From the hint in her voice, that was going to be some story, far
more than just the "Hailey's eighth grade president" that I'd heard after
the elections were over.

   I sat down next to Hailey.  Cinnamon sat to my left and Tami across from
me.  Rosita had rejoined the parents, but I didn't think she'd mentioned
anything yet.  My dad and Hailey's folks had given up on solving the Middle
East situation and were talking about Antarctica.  I waited for a break in
the conversation.

   "I invited the girls to come visit us," I announced.  "They can fly home
Monday afternoon out of Wenatchee." I'd checked the schedule at the airport
on my phone while Cinnamon was busy wrapping her daddy around her fingers.
I wasn't too surprised to find Cinnamon was right.  "Wynter can come, and
so can Cinny..." I mentally crossed my fingers that Rosita wouldn't rat me
out about the all-or-nothing condition.  "But if Hailey can't, that's okay.
She's kind of annoying."

   From the corner of my eye I enjoyed the look on Hailey's face, but since
my hand was planted on my knee, and NOT hers, she kept her mouth shut.

   "Tony!" Traci and Dad said together.  Robbie looked amused.

   "She's your cousin too.  And she's perfectly welcome," Dad added.

   Gerry and Viv looked startled, both from the invitation and my attitude.

   "But, Dad..."

   "Tony, I'm surprised at you."

   "It's just..." I paused and let my eyes wander the room before settling
back on Dad.  "She's failing history, and Tami volunteered me to tutor
her."

   Tami looked surprised.  "She's your cousin," she said quickly.

   "You tutored that Allie girl for a week," Dad reminded me.  "You didn't
seem to mind that."

   "But Allie was a girl.  Hailey's family."

   Tami's right eyebrow raised as she suppressed a smile.

   Dad set both hands on the table.  "It's settled.  When Hailey comes,
you're going to tutor her all she needs."

   I dropped my eyes, suppressing my own smile.  "Yes, sir."

   I looked back up at Hailey's bemused parents.  "I'm sorry if I didn't
seem like I wanted to help Hailey.  It's just between football and the play
and everything, I don't get to spend as much time with Tami as I want.  I
was being selfish."

   "It's okay, Tony.  We understand.  It's just..." Viv started then she
and her husband exchanged looks.

   "She's studying Israel.  You think you could help her?" Gerry said.

   "Tony really admires the Israelis," Robbie said.  "When we were studying
the Yom Kipper War, the teacher asked for a five-page paper and Tony gave
him almost fifty."

   "How many did you give him?" Cinnamon asked.

   "Thirty, but I'm more concise."

   I stuck my tongue out at her.

   She grinned.  "He thinks the solution to the Middle East is to stop
holding them back."

   "He may be right," Gerry agreed.  Then he and Viv exchanged another
look. They seemed to pass a lot of information back and forth without
words.

   I watched Hailey from the corner of my eye.  I could tell she was
waiting for my hand on her knee so she could speak.

   Gerry and Viv looked back at us.  "Okay, you can go," Gerry said

   I put my hand on her knee and squeezed my fingers, then took it away. 
Hailey took the hint.  "Thank you," she said simply.

   "But fail history and you'll be able to vote before you go anywhere
again," her mom added.

   Without my hand, Hailey just nodded.

   That's when it really got complicated.  Mom came back in, handed Wynter
her phone, and started worrying about where everyone would sleep.  Her
first plan was Cinnamon in Traci's bed, Hailey in mine, and Wynter parked
with Tami while Traci slept on the couch and I got the living room floor.

   Robbie offered her big house, but I knew Mom would want family closer.

   It was finally decided that Cinnamon and Hailey could share my bed and
Wynter and Traci could share hers.  At least I got off the floor.

   I watched Dad dropping a pair of twenties on the table and grinned.  He
and I figured that any waitress who put up with Traci's ordering style
deserved an extra five percent.  Since Hailey had been just as bad, he must
have doubled it.

   I picked up my jacket and headed for the door.  Most of the others were
in the lobby while Mom payed the bill.  Viv fell in step with me.

   "Did we just get played?" she asked quietly.

   "Played?" I said innocently.

   Viv nodded as if she'd just satisfied herself about something.  "Remind
me to tell Mitch not to let you spend too much time with Cinnamon.  I'm not
sure the rest of the world can handle it."

   I grinned and opened the door for her.

   "Cousin Viv, you may be right."



   Chapter 9

   We got to the theater just before one.  Luke Reese and Ricky Calloway
were already busy tearing down our sets.  Ricky looked at our group in
amazement.  "It's bad enough you travel with your own little harem, but I
see you've added a new blonde, brunette, and a redhead."

   I grinned.  "They say variety is the spice of life."

   Tami cuffed the back of my head as Robbie punched me in the arm.  "Guys,
these are Tony and Traci's cousins from Colorado and Hawaii," Tami said,
then continued with individual introductions.

   After she finished we all pitched in.  I was a little surprised at how
helpful Hailey was.  I'd kind of expected her to stand around and just hit
on Luke or Ricky.  Or both.

   Or maybe Robbie.  I didn't think they'd connected during the road trip
but wasn't sure.  Robbie wasn't seeing anybody right now.  I think she and
Luke fooled around a little just for fun since his last girlfriend had
dumped him just in time for Christmas.  Maybe she and Hailey would be good
for each other.

   An image of Robbie and Traci flashed through my head, and I wondered if
they still ...  I told myself firmly that it wasn't any of my business, but
business or not, I decided that Traci and Hailey would always have a
chaperone.

   Breaking down the sets and getting them loaded in the rental truck went
quickly.  Wynter, to nobody's surprise, turned out to be a wiz at n-space
geometry--the art that only females practiced of getting a larger volume of
stuff into a space smaller than ordinary physics allowed.

   About three there was an explosive, "WHITNEY GWYNETH, YOU'RE OUT OF
LINE!" from backstage.  I looked around and noticed that both Luke and
Ricky were among the missing, though they could be out at the truck.  I
decided that unless there was blood or police involved, I didn't want to
know.

   Half-an-hour later, everything was packed.  The same truck that barely
had space for everything coming over now had room to spare.  We stood in
the center of the stage, looking out at the rows of empty seats, reluctant
to leave.  The cousins stood in the wings, giving us our space.

   "I wasn't too big a bitch, was I?"

   I hugged Robbie.  "Madame director, you were just right.  Any less and
Trace would have forgotten half her lines."

   "I'm right here."

   "She can't even remember a few simple things like Hamlet's soliloquy,
the Gettysburg Address and the Declaration of Independence."

   Traci glared.  "And you can?"

   "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created
equal..."

   "Okay, okay.  Why couldn't I have a dumb brother like Jenny?" Jenny's
brother Doug was in my class.  He wasn't dumb exactly.  He just didn't care
about anything but getting high.

   "Ask him if he knows King's I Have a Dream or Kennedy's Inaugural,"
Robbie stage whispered to Traci.  Meaning she knew them word-for-word. 
Traci looked disgusted and stomped over to the cousins.

   "It was fun," Darlene said, hugging Robbie.

   "And we put on one hell of a show," Tami said in agreement.

   "And since we can never top this, we can take next year off," I
suggested.  The look I got back from Robbie said that not only was I
writing another play, but it was to be typed, proofed, copied, and collated
by August.

   "Guys," I said, looking at Ricky and Luke, "we couldn't have done it
without you." I held out my hand.

   "That's a fact," Luke agreed, shaking it.

   "We just did it for the money," Ricky added, slapping me on the back.

   "You maybe," I said, giving him a soft punch in the gut.  "But Luke has
more class." I slapped Luke on the back.  "He did it for the girls." Luke
turned red.  I had a feeling that he and Darlene were almost an item.

   I noticed that Ricky kept glancing at my favorite wahini, then at me. 
While I'd never passed my mind reading test, I'd be willing to bet he was
thinking about offering to ease the burden on the minivan by taking a
passenger in the truck.  I'd even be willing to bet which one.  I wondered
if I'd need to remind him that he'd lasted four months with Cassie Wheeler,
at least so far, a record for both of them.

   Figuring it was time to go, I waved Traci and the cousins over.

   As they walked over, Hailey's face lit up and she was suddenly back in
my face again.  "Hey!  Like, I almost forgot.  Suzie sent you a gift."

   "Suzie?  A gift?"

   "Yeah.  Hey, she was so the grateful for the tape." She attached herself
to me again.

   As her mouth closed on mine, I had to admire the suction power she
developed.  Maybe I should alert the Eureka people.  Or would the Hoover
Company pay more?  Her tongue wormed into my mouth, and I had trouble
remembering why this wasn't a good idea.  Cinnamon had to help pull her
loose.

   "Hailey!" I sputtered.  "That wasn't my idea, it was Robbie's!"

   Hailey turned around and grinned at Robbie.  "Yeah?"

   "That's okay," said Robbie, her eyes dancing with humor.  "I'll collect
mine from Tony later."

   I think I was the only one who heard the soft, "Shit!  I never get to
have any fun."

   The ride home was crowded.  With one sister, three cousins, a
girlfriend, a cheerleader and a quarterback in the van with me, we had to
take turns inhaling.  Hailey behaved, though probably only because the
steering wheel would have been in her way.

   We got back to town just before six and dropped Darlene and Robbie, then
took a tour of the town.  It was supposed to be a quick tour, but I think I
put more miles on the van in town than between Seattle and here.  Tami and
Traci kept calling out landmarks to show the cousins, but the landmarks
they selected always seemed to be across town from wherever we were.

   "It's about time," Mom said when we walked in the door after seven. 
From the look Dad passed me, Mom had been worrying.

   I gave her a hug.  "Think I forgot how to drive safe just because I had
cousins in the car."

   "No.  It's just..."

   I hugged her again.  "You know I'm a safe driver."

   "I know but..."

   Want to compare traffic tickets?" I asked with a grin.  "We could go
lifetime, the last year, the last three months, or just the weekend."

   Mom blushed.  She'd gotten a ticket on the way to Seattle.  She averaged
three of four a year.  "That's not the point," she protested.

   "And the point would be?"

   Mom looked exasperated.

   Dad laughed.  "Give it up.  You haven't won an argument with him since
we moved from California."

   "You're a lot of help," she accused.

   Dad smiled.  "I'm not getting in this.  I haven't won an argument since
he hit double digits."

   Mom looked up at the ceiling, shaking her head, then smiled and looked
at me.  "Go ahead and show them around the trailer.  I've picked up Traci's
room, so they should be safe if they've had their shots."

   "It wasn't that bad," Traci whined.

   Mom stared at her.  "Do you really want to discuss it now?  You, I win
arguments with."

   I led the cousins toward the back while behind us, Traci muttered
something about life, brothers, and fair.

   When we got back to the front of the house, Mom was in the process of
grilling some ham and cheese sandwiches.  I gave her a quick hug ince she'd
picked up my room, too, and made my bed.  I'm not as big a slob as Traci,
but I'm not one of those a-place-for-everything-and
everything-in-it's-place kind of guys, either.

   We settled down to eat, Traci and the cousins at the table, Tami sitting
across my lap on the sofa, and Mom sitting across Dad's lap in his chair. I
wondered for the millionth time if they'd ever learn to act their age, then
decided to give them a break 'cause I knew Tami and I would be just as bad
and just as embarrassing to our kids someday.

   "Tony, didn't you study tax law in one of your classes this year?" Dad
asked with a suspicious smile.

   "Well, I haven't passed the bar or anything, but yeah."

   "I was just wondering..." Everyone was watching him now.  "Since Tami
takes at least half her meals here, can we claim her on our taxes."

   Tami turned a delicious shade of red.

   "I think she has to sleep here too.  But in the spirit of saving you
money on your taxes, I'm willing to share my room." I ignored Tami's elbow
in my stomach as I grinned back at him.

   "See what you started," Mom said, pretending to be angry.  If I wasn't
sleeping on the couch tonight, he might be, and the couch is lumpy.

   Traci was whispering back and forth with the cousins.  I had a feeling
they were hearing all about the day that Traci tried to be a good sister
and talked Mom into buying me a laser printer.

   Traci and Tami did the dishes while Mom and Dad decided to take a drive.
I stepped behind Hailey, slipped my arms around her stomach, and nibbled on
her neck.  "Let's you and me find someplace more private," I whispered.

   Hailey's face lit up.  She glanced at Tami's back, then nodded.  I took
Hailey's hand, winked at Cinnamon and Wynter, and led my cousin toward my
bedroom.

   I shut the door and smiled at her.  Hailey grinned and shed her t-shirt
in a quick and well-practiced move.  She wasn't wearing a bra, but then,
she really didn't need it.

   "I've been waiting for this," I whispered, giving her body a quick
inspection.

   Hailey was still grinning.  "Hey!  I, like, so didn't think we'd get
to..."

   I pointed at my desk chair.  "Sit."

   Hailey's head cocked slightly.  "Not on the bed?"

   I stepped to her, leaned down, and kissed the top of her left breast. 
"Sit," I repeated.

   Hailey sat.

   "This is going to be so good," I whispered seductively.

   Hailey nodded, looking expectant.

   "Hailey..."

   "Yes..."

   "How was the state of Israel created?" I whispered, still trying to
sound seductive.

   "What?" she exploded.  From the living room I heard laughter.

   "How did Israel come to be?" I asked in my normal voice.

   "But, I thought, like, we..."

   "We are.  We're going to study."

   "But ...  But it's Saturday night."

   "Your point?" I asked.

   "Hey!  Like, nobody studies on a Saturday night.  Nobody cool."

   Considering the number of Saturdays I studied or wrote papers, I should
be offended by that.  "Tell you what.  I was planning on spending two hours
tonight..."

   "Two hours," she groaned.

   I nodded.  "But I'll make you a deal.  We'll call Robbie.  You're not
going to tell me she's not cool.  If she's studying right now, then we'll
work for three hours.  If she's not, I know where some good parties are."

   Hailey perked up at the word party, then looked at me suspiciously.  "No
way!  You, like, already called her," she accused.

   "Nope.  Haven't talked to her since we dropped her off.  And she didn't
say what she was going to do either."

   "We could, like, do this tomorrow," Hailey suggested.

   I smiled sadistically.  "We will."

   Hailey pouted.

   "So what's it going to be?  Two hours, or do you want to see what's
behind door number one?"

   "Two hours," Hailey moaned finally.

   "If it makes you comfortable, you can leave your shirt off," I offered.

   Hailey's mouth opened, then closed.  She stood and skinned out of her
jeans and panties just as quickly as she'd shed her t-shirt.  "I so hope
you, like, have a hard on the whole time, pickledick."

   "I will.  Now about the creation of Israel...  ?"

   Hailey sighed.  "Israel was, like, created by the United Nations just
after World War II.  Is Robbie, like, really studying on a Saturday night?"

   I wondered which would bug her more, not knowing or finding out she
could have gone to a party.  "My phone's right there." I pointed to my
night stand.  "Call her.  She's speed dial two," I added as Hailey picked
up the phone.  I sat back and listened to Hailey's side of the
conversation.

   "She's studying," Hailey said after she hung up.  "On a Saturday night."

   I shrugged.  "Now, did the head wizard of the United Nations just wave a
magic wand and create a country that wasn't there before?"

   "No.  But there was, like, something about the British, and the Arabs
and the bible and ...  Hey!  I thought they, like, weren't supposed to
teach the bible in school?"

   Ah, life in the politically correct twenty-first century.  "It's
confusing, but you need to understand that the bible is two things: a
religious document and a historical one.  Your teachers can't say 'This is
the bible, the one true word of God.  You have to believe.' But they also
can't say, 'This is a pack of lies, you can't believe.'

   "But the bible is also a historical document that has influenced events
throughout history.  Both the Jewish old testament and the Christian new.
In this case, the Jews believe that God told Moses to lead their people to
the Promised Land, The Holy Land.  They believe that this land is
rightfully theirs.  One of my history teachers pointed out that Moses spent
forty years leading his people to the only spot in the Middle East that
doesn't have any oil."

   "So, like, where do the British come in?" Hailey asked.

   "The Jews lived all over the world.  In the late eighteen hundreds many
started emigrating to the land of Israel to escape persecution.  In World
War I, the British took over the territory and encouraged Jewish
settlement, but the Arabs who were already there didn't like it.  The
British got caught in the middle."

   "Like, when two of your friends are arguing and whatever you say, one of
them, like, so thinks you're taking the other's side."

   "Exactly," I said with a smile.  "Except the in this case, the friends
are also trying to kill each other."

   "So, like, the British gave up?"

   "I'm sure the British would have a more diplomatic way of putting it,
but yes.  The United Nations had been formed in 1945, right after the war.
The British pretty much put the whole thing in their lap."

   "So, like, what went wrong?"

   "In nineteen forty-seven the U.N.  decided to split the area into two
countries.  One Arab and one Jewish, with Jerusalem, which was holy to both
of them, a neutral city."

   "Like parents do with arguing kids.  Send each to their room, but the
bathroom is, like, neutral."

   I grinned.  "You're smarter than you look."

   Hailey smiled, then glared as she realized the full meaning of what I
said.  "HEY!"

   "I mean you look too sexy to be smart."

   She smiled again.

   "But in this case, the Arabs wanted both rooms."

   "That was, like, nineteen forty-seven?"

   I nodded.

   "Like, almost sixty years ago?"

   I shrugged.  "Nobody ever said the human race was logical.  Or wasn't
stubborn.  I think the big problem is Israel keeps winning.  The Arabs
attack with overwhelming odds and the Israelis beat them.  Then their pride
is hurt.  So they try again, and again, and again.  But back to nineteen
forty-seven.  In your words, how did Israel begin?"

   Hailey crinkled her brow in concentration.  "The Jews were, like,
getting so pushed around and they..."

   It was two-and-a-half hours later when we came out, Hailey dressed
again. I looked at Cinnamon and Wynter, who were playing partners cribbage
with Traci and Tami.  "There's no way she's getting a B minus," I said with
a sigh.

   "But..." Wynter started.

   I grinned.  "She is so, like, gonna ace this thing."



   Chapter 10

   "Stop drooling!"

   I came back to reality.  "I wasn't drooling."

   Tami and her mother looked knowingly at each other.

   "I wasn't ...  I was just imagining ...  I mean..."

   "Tony, my future son-in-law, have you ever heard the expression quit
while you're behind?"

   I decided I had a very wise future mother-in-law and nodded.  Tami
looked satisfied.

   "She was real excited, though naturally her father had trouble deciding
between pride and paternalism."

   Tami shook her head in awe.  "It's hard to believe.  A
quarter-of-a-million."

   Tami's mom had ridden to Seattle with Robbie's dad, then come back today
with her dad and sister.  Samantha had flown into Seattle from Brazil,
where she'd just finished a photo shoot.  On the way back, Samantha had
told them that she'd been googled just over two hundred and fifty thousand
times last year.  I could understand her dad's confusion, whether to be
proud of his little girl or mad at all the perverts who'd wanted to look at
her in swimsuits and lingerie.

   "How many of those were yours?" Tami accused.

   "I, um..."

   Her mom laughed.  "Quit picking on him.  He's had a long day." I decided
that I needed to get her something real nice for Mother's Day.  Do they
have a Mothers-in-Law Day?"

   "Tami, Samantha may be beautiful and sexy, but you have something she'll
never have."

   "Don't forget rich," Tami added.  "What?"

   "Me."

   "I wonder if I can trade him in on beautiful, sexy and rich," Tami asked
her mother.

   "Tami, my little muttonchop, you're already beautiful and sexy.  And by
the time you get your third or fourth Pulitzer, you'll be rich enough to
support me in the style to which I want to become accustomed."

   "My little muttonchop?" her mom asked with a laugh.

   "He's been working on pet names.  It's that, or my little jackalope."

   "He needs to work harder.  But now, it's time to kick you out 'cause
you're not the only one who's had a long day." I'd walked Tami over from my
house.  It was after midnight.

   I bowed, gave Tami a quick kiss, and opened the door.

   "Oh, before I forget," Tami's mom said as I stepped outside.  "Samantha
also said she's going to be doing a USO show in March.  Turkey, Iraq, and
Afghanistan.  Her dad's not real happy about it."

   "I can understand that," Tami said.  "But is he more worried about
insurgents with guns or fifty thousand leering soldiers?"

   "Both," I said.  "I wonder if she has a talent.  I mean, besides..."

   "Good night, Tony," they said together.

   I was dreaming.

   I knew it was a dream.  I usually know, but who cares.

   It was spring.  Baseball season.  Fans were in the stands, the team was
tossing the ball around, but I was lying on the grass between shortstop and
the pitcher's mound, my hands behind my head looking up at three clouds as
they played tag in an almost painfully blue sky.  I was naked, my flag pole
at attention and receiving a slurpy salute from Tami's tongue.  Darlene,
Allie, Mikee and Paula were in their cheerleader uniforms working the fans
into a frenzy of applause for Tami's technique.

   Now this was my kind of dream.

   Tami's mouth had engulfed my rod and was working up and down, her tongue
doing something different that felt incredible.  It was a whole different
technique.

   The fans and cheerleaders went quiet as a Lake baseball player stepped
into the batter's box.  The pitcher wound up.  I admired his form even as
Tami's tongue tried to squeeze into my pisshole.

   The cheerleaders started a chant, "Hey, battah, battah, battah..."

   The pitcher brought his arm back, then over the top and fired.  I saw
the snap of his wrist, a curve ball.  The ball rocketed toward the Lake
batter, then trailed down and out...

   "Battah, battah, SWING!"

   The Lake batter swung.  I heard the crack of contact between the
aluminum bat and the ball.  The ball shot forward, straight at...

   I woke with a sharp exhale.  Leave it to Lake to spoil everything.  I
lay on the sofa, not bothering to open my eyes, remembering the dream.  I
could still feel Tami's mouth surrounding my cock.  I COULD STILL FEEL
TAMI'S MOUTH SURROUNDING MY COCK!

   My eyes snapped open.

   "Hailey!" I said in a whispered shout, or a shouted whisper.

   Hailey knelt next to the sofa, her mouth moving up and down my twelve
inch shaft.  Actually it was probably closer to six.  I hadn't measured it
in a long time.  I'd decided that it was going to be what it was going to
be.  Besides, it made Tami happy, and it made me happy, so what more did
you need?

   "Hiacss." Which I think translated into "Hi Cuz.' I was amazed that she
could talk with her mouth full and her tongue in hyper-drive.  I guess
she'd had a lot of practice.

   I really wanted to tell her to stop, but apparently when the little head
sucks all the blood out of the big head, it takes the connection to the
vocal cords with it.  Hailey's tongue felt good.  Really really good.  I
couldn't define it, but something she was doing was better than it's ever
been before.  I felt myself building to an explosion, it just felt so
fucking good.

   There must have been three or four drops of blood left in the rest of my
body, 'cause that's when my big head took over again.

   I put my hand on her forehead and pushed gently backward.  Hailey looked
confused as she sat back on her heels.

   "Ahem," Cinnamon cleared her throat from the doorway.  I looked from
her, to Hailey, to my rigid shaft.

   For once life wasn't complicated.  "Control her," I said softly, then
rolled onto my side away from Hailey and pulled the blanket up over me, not
bothering for the moment to pull up my shorts and underwear.

   "Hey!  It was just a blowjob," Hailey said softly.  Cinnamon said
something that I didn't catch.

   "I was just, like, trying to say thank you," There was a little whine in
her voice now.  If Cinnamon answered, I didn't hear it.  As Hailey got up
and walked away, I slipped into sleep.

   This time without dreams.

   I woke about eight, and from the silence in the house, I was the first.
I threw back the blanket, surprised for a second that my shorts were around
my ankles and my underwear around my knees.  Then I remembered last night.
I adjusted them, got up, and walked toward the back.

   My door was ajar, and inside I heard the rhythmic breathing of the two
girls.  I slipped in and got clean clothes.  The two girls were nestled
together, with Hailey's head in the space between Cinnamon's head and
shoulder, almost like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle.

   I slipped out and took a quick shower, even remembering to lock the
door. After I dressed, I put my bedding away, grabbed a coat and stepped
outside.

   It was ...  pristine.

   It had started snowing sometime in the night, and a blanket of white
covered everything.  The trailer park must be taking the day off, 'cause
there wasn't a footprint or tireprint anywhere.

   It was still snowing lightly.  The air was brisk but not too cold, maybe
mid-twenties.  I grinned and stepped off the porch to make my mark on the
world.

   On my third orbit of the park, Tami joined me.  Without a word she fell
into step, her arm went around me, and her hand slipped into my back
pocket. We walked without talking, just enjoying the nearness of each
other, the snow, the quiet of the world.

   After four circuits, Tami kissed me lightly on the cheek and peeled off
back into her house for breakfast with her mom.  Not a single word had
passed between us.

   I came in and stomped the snow off my feet before hanging up my jacket.

   "How's Tami this morning?" Mom called from the kitchen.

   "Quiet." Cinnamon and Hailey were sitting at the dining room table
watching Dad fuss with the coffee maker and Mom inventory the pantry. 
Wynter and Traci sat on the sofa talking.  I walked around and gave all the
girls, even Traci, a hug.

   I took a seat across the table from the girls just as Dad's stomach
gurgled.

   Cinnamon looked at me and whispered, "It's scary when they start making
the same noises as their coffee makers."

   I grinned and nodded.

   "Can I talk to you?" She indicated the back with a nod of her head.  I
nodded again, stood, and led her to my bedroom.

   "I..."

   "No," I said, cutting her off.

   "No?"

   "It's not your discussion."

   "I was just going to say..."

   "No." I repeated.  "Hailey's a big girl, and in case you haven't
noticed, she's older than you.  She can deal with her own mistakes.  If she
even realizes she made one."

   "She does.  She..."

   I cocked my head and stared and Cinnamon stopped.  "If Hailey wants to
talk to me, I'll talk," I said after a few seconds.  "If she wants to
pretend it never happened, I'm good with that too."

   Cinnamon gave me that dissecting stare of hers as she studied me.  I
worked on my breathing.  In, two three.  Out, two, three.  I know it's an
automatic process, but it never hurts to have a backup plan.  After almost
a minute, Cinnamon nodded.

   "And Hailey doesn't need prompting from the audience," I said as I
opened the door for her.

   Cinnamon nodded.  "You may give Robbie a run for her money yet."

   Tami showed up as we were finishing breakfast.  She knocked, then let
herself in.  I was sitting on the couch watching Mom feed Dad a last piece
of toast.  Tami sat across my legs giving me a quick kiss.  "Gonna tell me
about it?" she whispered.

   I nodded.  "Someday." I knew she could reach into my head and pull
everything out, but sometimes she liked to leave me the illusion of
privacy. I gave her butt a quick pat and she stood.

   "Hailey, you and I have an appointment in the Sinai." Hailey looked
resigned but nodded.  "Trace, why don't you teach the others how we play
Monopoly in the Pacific Northwest?" Traci nodded and now Tami looked
resigned.  I returned her kiss with a smile.

   "Get comfortable," I said as I closed the door to my bedroom.  Hailey
grinned and grabbed the bottom of her t-shirt.  She lifted it up past her
belly button, then changed her mind and let it drop again.  She sat on my
desk chair and looked up at me.

   "I was thinking," Hailey said, interrupting my train of thought about
whether to go back over what we'd talked about yesterday or start where
we'd left off.

   "Yes," I said after biting off a sarcastic comment about encouraging new
habits.

   "About all those terrorists blowing things up all the time." I'd
mentioned that since the last war, the Arabs had turned to terrorism.  "It
must be terrible, going to a movie or a restaurant and not knowing if
you'll live through the night."

   "That wouldn't be fun," I agreed.  "But it's not quite that bad.  It's
not everyday and not everywhere you go." Hailey nodded.  "Karma," I added
in a mumble.

   "Huh?"

   "Well, Israel was founded on terrorism."

   "I thought you said the Stern Gang, the Levi...  ?"

   "Lehi," I corrected.

   " ...  the Lehi were freedom fighters?"

   "Old saying, 'One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.'
It's all about point of view.  Usually it comes down to who writes the
history books."

   "So, like, were the Stern Gang freedom fighters or terrorists?" Hailey
asked, looking confused, not that I could blame her.

   "Both." I knew that wouldn't help.  "The British considered them
terrorists.  Most Israelis consider them freedom fighters.  Like I said, it
all depends who writes the history books."

   "But history's history."

   "Is it?" I asked with a grin and knew that I had her totally confused.
"Try this.  Two brilliant historians decide to write books about the same
battle, Custer's Last Stand.  Both are honest and believe in telling the
truth about history.  The first is the great great grandson of General
George himself.  The second is the great great grandson of Short Bull, one
of the Lakota chiefs.  Think they'll come up with the same book?"

   "I guess not."

   "Not even close.  Won't even have the same title.  Custer's grandson's
will be The Battle of the Little Big Horn.  Short Bull's grandson will call
his the Battle of the Greasy Grass."

   "Greasy Grass?" Hailey said with a giggle.

   I shrugged, "That's what native Americans called the battle.  Let's try
another one.  A group of men, disguise themselves and storm onto three
unarmed cargo ships anchored in the harbor.  They grab the cargo and start
throwing it off the ships.  Millions of dollars worth.  What do you call
them?"

   "Easy.  Terrorists."

   "I just described the Boston Tea Party.  You think Samuel Adams and the
other founding fathers were terrorists?"

   "But ...  but ...  they were fighting for independence."

   I grinned and tapped her on the nose.  "So were the Israelis.  The
difference between terrorist and freedom fighter is pretty much whether
they believe in what you believe in."

   Hailey sighed.  "Hey.  Can we like, study something easy, like nuclear
physics?"

   "Nope.  Physics is too easy.  Physics has rules.  History is more fun.
It's unpredictable.  No rules.  Human beings don't like rules."

   "Who started the Six-Day War?" I asked after we'd spent half-an-hour
reviewing the Birth of Israel.

   "The Arabs," Hailey said positively.

   "Is that your final answer?" I asked with a smile.

   "The Israelis," Hailey said, not so positively.

   "Final answer?"

   "The Martians?  It sure as shit wasn't the Menehune."

   I grinned.  It was going to be so much fun being a teacher.  It was like
a license to torture teenagers.  "Who are the Menehune?"

   "One of the ancient Hawaiian peoples.  They were dwarves who lived in
the forests.  I thought you were supposed to be smart.  Hey, what do they
teach in your schools anyway?"

   I smiled as she asked one of the questions I ask myself all the time.

   "Back to the war.  This is one of those hard questions, kind of like
who's a terrorist and who's a freedom fighter.  The Israelis actually
attacked first, so you could say they started the war.  But they attacked
because the Arabs were moving troops to the borders and had blocked
Israel's access to the Red Sea, so you could just as easily say the Arabs
did.  Now the Yom Kippur War six years later was..."

   "Think Robbie's studying again today?" Hailey asked as we finished.

   I looked at the clock next to my bed.  Just about eleven thirty.  "Naw,
she's probably watching football."

   "Football?  I thought football was over except for the superbowl
thingy."

   "It is.  But Robbie's got tapes of college and pro games she didn't see
during the season.  Plus, a friend of hers in Tennessee sends her game
tapes of the high school she would have gone to.  Robbie'll be watching
football till halfway through the baseball season."

   "Uh..."

   "Yes," I prompted.

   "Uh, like, are you mad at me?"

   "How could I ever be mad at my hula princess?"

   Hailey grinned.  "I did a hula bit.  It was one of Cinnamon's
performances."

   "Did you wear anything under your grass skirt?"

   Hailey gave me a wouldn't-you-like-to-know grin.  I remembered Tami
trying to figure out how much Cinnamon DNA our kids would have when we were
finishing the road trip.  I think we should be more worried about Hailey
DNA.

   "I, like, kinda meant about last night?" Hailey asked returning to the
subject.

   "Not mad," I said after a long pause.  "Annoyed."

   "But it was, like, so just a BJ!  Hey, most guys love it when I..."

   "Do you just walk up to them, yank their pants down and go to it?  Or
slip into their houses at night while they're sleeping?"

   "No, but..."

   "What if they slipped into your bedroom while you were sleeping?  What
if they just started eating your pussy while you were asleep?"

   Hailey grinned.  "Hey!  Bitchin'!  I'd, like, so remember to say thank
you!" I had no doubt in my mind that Wynter would cure many diseases. 
She'd probably walk off with a Nobel if life is fair.  At that moment I
wondered if she could cure libido.

   "What if you're not in the mood?" I tried.

   Hailey grinned again.  "As if!  I'm, like, always in the mood.  As long
as they're, like, cute and not brand-x Philbins."

   I figured this was important so I decided to play dirty.  "Matthew
Wylie," I said quietly.

   Hailey's face changed.  It was like watching a beautiful day become a
tropical storm.  "I'd fucking kill him," she said firmly.  And I had a
feeling that it wasn't a figure of speech because the beach bimbo voice had
vanished.

   "What's wrong?  He was cute." After we'd come back from the road trip,
curiosity had gotten the better of me, and I did some research.  Newspapers
don't always tell the whole story, especially about teenagers and
pre-teens, but you can learn a lot by what they don't say.  I think I had a
pretty good idea of who Wylie was and what happened to send him away.  And
there was a picture.

   "He was a..."

   I shrugged.  "What'd he do that was so bad?  It was just sex."

   "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Hailey exploded, standing.  "HE..."

   I put my hands on Hailey's shoulders and pushed her back into the chair.
I hoped Mom wasn't going ballistic in the living room, 'cause there was no
question she'd heard that.  "Hailey use your brain, not just your twat."
Not a word I usually use, but I figured it would get through to her.

   It did.  The storm on her face just got upgraded to force five.  "Hey!
Like, what do you mean by that?  Do you, like, KNOW what that assmunch
DID?"

   "I have a pretty good idea."

   "He forced them!  He forced Possum and..."

   "Names aren't important." Possum?  "And it was just sex."

   "JUST SEX?  How can you say that, you pickledick?"

   "Hell, at the trial, I'll bet he said it was no big deal.  It was just a
blowjob."

   "He..." Hailey's mouth clamped shut.  I stared at her as the storm broke
and her face slackened.  "I ...  like ...  you can't mean..." Her eyes
started leaking tears.  "He and I ...  like ...  you can't..."

   "Hailey, stop!" I commanded.  I wondered if I'd gone too far.

   Her eyes were turning red, and I wondered if I was going to survive
Mom's inquisition.  And between the shouting and Hailey's face, Mom was
going to put Torquemada to shame.

   "Do you think Wylie would have hesitated to have some fun with a
sleeping girl?"

   Hailey shook her head and choked back a sob.

   I cradled her chin in my palm and stroked her hair with my other hand.
"And that's where any similarities end."

   "What do you mean?"

   "Wylie was all about his own pleasure.  That and the power he had over
others."

   "I don't..."

   "You, my little wahine, were trying to do your cousin a favor.  Not for
your pleasure but for mine."

   "I, like, so wanted to say thank you," she agreed.

   I cupped her face in both my hands and used my thumbs to wipe tears from
her eyes.  "The words would have been enough."

   "But, like, I thought ...  last summer..."

   "To quote my second favorite Monkees' song 'That Was Then, This Is
Now'."

   "Monkeys?"

   "Apparently they have no music education in Hawaii or Colorado." Hailey
looked more confused.  "The road trip last summer was fantastic.  I
traveled all over the country with five girls and a sister and never slept
alone.  I met two sexy cousins who gave me a night I'll never forget.  Most
guys my age don't even have fantasies that good.  I wouldn't trade a minute
of the trip, or a minute with my cousins, but since I came back..."

   "Just you and Tami?"

   I nodded.

   Hailey smiled.  "Hey!  You're so as bad as Jimmy."

   "No luck?" I asked grinning.

   Hailey shook her head.

   "Have you given up trying?"

   "Mostly." Hailey's enigmatic smile put the Mona Lisa out to pasture.

   I pulled her to her feet and gave her a hug.  "Can I give you one piece
of advice?"

   "What?" she asked suspiciously.

   "Don't bother playing the lottery.  With your luck, you'd just be
throwing your money away."

   "My luck?"

   "There are maybe three teenaged guys in the whole country who'd say no
to a blowjob from the Pineapple Princess, and you have the bad luck to have
one as a cousin and another as a friend.  You'll probably meet the third
any day now."

   She muttered something that sounded like Lopez.  "Only three?" she asked
coyly, becoming more the old Hailey every second.

   "In the country," I agreed.  "Six, maybe seven tops in the world."
   "Hey!  I can so live with that."