Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 �>�The Shaping of the Slut byCrimsonGirl�(C)

   The Shaping of the Slut  -" Chapter 1

   I sat as always right next to Alex, my closest friend in the world,
though by no means was my friendship with the other boys of no value.  Six
others there were, and once added to Alex and I, the result was a group of
friends; an inseparable band which spent weekends, holidays and vacations
together.  It had been that way for many years by that point, since we had
known one another since the early days of highschool.  Here I must stress
on a specific peculiarity that pertained to our gang.  Indeed, modern
culture is ripe with examples of that sort of group of "bros," boys held
together by a masculine sense of brotherhood, a virile pride in taking part
in an enclave of manly friendship which contrasts with the "otherness" of
girls and their separate world, hence the popularity of the "bros before
hoes" code of honor.

   I must then, given those dominant variables of our society, admit that I
was, for lack of a better word, an anomaly.  For I am, in fact, one of
these "others." Eyes foreign to our gang often gazed at us in confused
curiosity, failing to understand the presence of this one lone girl in this
group of boys.  Naturally, the initial theory was always that I was some
sort of bounty so low in dignity and so depraved in nature, that I served a
sexual purpose in that male group.  Though I would not call myself the
angry type, I will not hide that my dismissal of this theory would always
be carried forth in a fit of absolute rage and disgust.  The very idea was
not only insulting to me, a virgin who had never kissed a guy, but also to
our whole group.  The attitude of the boys towards me was one of
unquestioned and uncalculated equality.  So much so indeed, that my very
belonging to the female sex was often a forgotten fact whenever I was with
them.  I was just one of the old time friends.  I guess my appearance
contributed to that.  Not my natural appearance, mind you, but how I
dressed up.  Perhaps no one could ever tell that I had a rather fit body,
since the big baggy hoodies and big baggy sweat pants I wore hid any
semblance of silhouette.  I looked more like a lowlife hoodlum than a girl,
to be quite honest.

   Thus I sat on one of the dirty couches next to Alex, my best friend,
alongside the others.  As with every sunday since we were young
highschoolers, we met at Chris's place to watch football.  The latter, a
stout, cap wearing sports fan, was always the host, for his house was the
biggest, his chips reserves the most plentiful, and his parents the least
present.

   "Dude, bring the fucking beers," I told him, "the game's about to
start."

   "Why don't you get them yourself if you're so thirsty?" he replied, an
ever jolly tone in his voice despite his occasional sarcasm.

   "Shut the fuck up and get them!"

   Our host complied, going for his fridge in the kitchen.  Everyone one of
us took orders from the other and vice versa, since it must also be noted
that there was no alpha in the group.  Hierarchy was as absent among us as
stress on my gender.  The only one close to an alpha was Ari, and I say
this for he was well known by most as an alpha male with his broad
shoulders, muscular build and douchebag attitude.  It was to him I turned
with a grin, saying :

   "Remember, I get 20 bucks if the Lions win."

   "Calm your tits bro, I'm better at betting than you are."

   "Yeah?  How about I bet you that I can beat your ass on CS?"

   "Done.  Tonight at seven.  20 bucks?"

   "20 bucks.  Prepare your anus, you're fucked."

   "Jade." That was Alex's voice, this deep, rich sound.  I turned to him.
" He always goes for submachine guns," he said, giving me advice on the
video game in which Ari and I so often warred against online, "and he
always empties his ammo too fast.  Just run around until he has no ammo
then get him with a grenade, always works."

   Alex, dear Alex.  That young man always had my back, with his rugged
skin to bring warmth to my heart, his piercing blue eyes to bring me
comfort, and his brown hair my fingers always played with when boredom
presented itself to me.

   "I love you," I said, smiling, before planting a kiss on his cheek.

   Everyone accused me of overzealous prudishness, and true, even hugs and
little kisses were something I never experienced.  Except of course, when
it came to Alex.

   My ruminations were brought to a sudden halt when a beer bottle almost
crash landed on my face.  Fortunately, Alex was there to catch it.

   "Hah!  I was gonna break your face," Hugo laughed as Chris was passing
'round the beers.

   "Fuck you bro, "I gasped back, holding back my own laughter.  Hugo did
not wait for any words to follow, already he leaned towards me, his mind
set on a subject he wanted to talk about.

   "You know, I heard some rumors.  About you and Max. -�

   He always heard the rumors, this one.  With his lithe tallness, it
seemed natural he'd hear everything, for his ears were above most heads. 
There were two things the vaguely handsome, short haired young man loved
above all else, smoking pot and gossiping like a teenage girl.

   "Bullshit," I quipped.  "You didn't hear anything," Of course, I knew
that he had.

   "Yes I did.  Come on, how's it looking, huh?"

   I noticed Liang's intensely questioning look behind that of Hugo's. 
These two were always together when it came to pressuring me for
information on my love life.  The error of their ways was to assume that I
even had one.  This time around though, the course of events seemed to be
taking a turn I was yet unaccustomed to.  For the first time in my life, I
had begun speaking to a boy with a desire other than to form a mere
friendship.

   "Well," I shyly began, "Max and I have a date this Tuesday evening."

   "YEAAAAH!" the two guys yelled as if their team had scored a point.  As
I high fived them, I refrained from mentioning that this date was to be the
sixth, and that nothing more than minor chit chat had occurred there yet.

   Our attentions went back to the football game on TV.  We drank all the
beer in the house and kept betting upon betting, losing and gaining money
with each and every point scored by the teams we had chosen.  As all that
was going on, I smiled and laughed, like always.  And yet --yet something
was off.  There was a feeling in me, one of inexplicable greyness.  That
feeling had started being there a few years prior, at the turn of my
puberty; when I first started growing out of childhood.  This abstract
emotion, this vague feeling, it kept gaining in weight as the months and
years passed.  By that point, it had reached a state which I can only
describe as --boredom?  Yes, as strange as it seems, I can only confer to
that incomprehensible entity the aptly boring term of  -�boredom. -� In the
past, these hangouts had always been the highlight of my week; all the
stress and negativity that I would amass in the course of days would find
themselves suddenly evaporated by the ridiculous amount of fun I would have
with my friends.  In playing video games, watching movies, eating or
drinking together, we had always been the merriest bunch.  But for some
inexplicable reason, as this merriness kept on going within the others, it
had slowly degraded to the point of near extinction within me.  No more
felt I that incredible fun.  Of course, I still enjoyed the company of my
friends but -- not to the point to which I had before.  That boredom soon
turned into a state of fleeting melancholia, and I found myself retreating
to the bathroom for some calm.

   There, I looked at myself in the mirror, perhaps hoping that in my own
face I would find a cure to my sadness.  There I only found what I always
found, myself.  I thought of Max, and of what he saw when he looked at me.
What indeed, did any guy see?  Did they see beauty?  Or did they see
ugliness?  Perhaps something in between, so plain as to not deserve even
the slightest reaction?  My curiosity in that moment was so great, that,
without truly thinking, I felt my hands grab every piece of clothing of
mine and take them off me.  My shoes, my socks, my pants, my hoodie, and
then even my underwear.  They all fell on the floor as I stood nude in
front of my own image.

   The Caribbean half of my family had made my wavy hair a shade of pure
black, and dark too was my caramel colored, smooth skin.  That darkness was
then contrasted by two orbs the color of a Caribbean sea, as a shining
turquoise light gleamed in my gaze, a reminder of the other, Spanish half
of my descent.  My lips, full and rosy, my nose, small and elegant.  My
eyes went down to look at my naked body.  My breasts were large.  Very
large.  And yet, not in an inelegant way where they would -(TM)ve shared
the physical properties of a large, clumsy beast, no, they seemed to be as
large as they could possibly be without starting to hang.  In fact, for all
their size, they still felt firm, a firmness I proved by once again
grasping and fondling them.  The palms of my hand involuntarily rubbed my
nipples, and the latter hardened as a feeling of arousal started teasing my
body.  Indeed, my breasts, were large but their size wasn -(TM)t
proportionate.  In fact, I -(TM)d dare say my body was graced with the most
advantageous disproportion.  The rest of my body remained slim enough, my
hips and torso were curvy without exceeding in even a milligram of excess
fat, and that same quality had been bestowed unto my legs.  The only girls
I knew with breasts my size were much fatter ones, and yet I retained a
healthy look with a still ample torso.  I turned slightly around to look at
my ass.  Round, firm.  It seemed to look nice and yet -- I never knew what
to think of myself?  Was I beautiful?  Was I horrendous?  My loneliness in
romance had been so great throughout my life that my instincts almost
always made me steer towards the latter.  I always yearned to feel like
those stars on television.  To feel beautiful.

   The door suddenly opened.  Panicking, I jumped on it and pushed it
closed with all my strength.

    -�Jade?  Are you alright? -�.

    -�I am Alex, don -(TM)t worry, -� I panted.

    -�You -(TM)ve been in there for a while now. -�

    -�I told you not to worry. -�

   As I listened to Alex go back into the living room, I rushed to put my
clothing back on.  For some inexplicable reason, as I was speaking totally
naked to Alex on the other side of the door, the prospect of him entering
both terrified me and -- and caused a tingle down there, between my legs --

   I decided not to think any more about it and went back into the living
room.  There, while the others kept watching the football game, I had a
long conversation with the last two members of our gang, Sodden, the video
game nerd; and Issa, the aspiring army member, about  -�bitches and hoes.
-� As I conversed, my mind travelled to a distant thought.  I felt like one
of the boys when within the gang.  I drank, gamed and joked with them.  I
felt so much like one of the boys that --

   That I never really felt like a woman.

   The evening passed and eventually, we found ourselves back in our
respective homes, preparing for the morrow which would bring the challenges
of college, for we were just beginning another school year.

   I speak of challenges but if I am to be completely honest, I must say
that college for us was the most entertaining version of education we could
ever have known.  Our gang had initially been united by a common passion,
that of acting on stage.  Thus it was that we all were part of the same
college program, Dramatic Proficiencies in Stage Acting.  The aspect of
said program that all unanimously agreed on as fantastic; was that it was
only one class.  I repeat, the entire academic program was constituted of
one class.  Now don -(TM)t start thinking that we were a lucky bunch graced
with free time; for that one class went from 9 in the morning to 6 in the
evening, and we were to attend it four out of five days of the academic
week.  In simpler terms, we spent almost the entire school year in the same
class.  There we labored to attain a single goal; the creation of an end of
the year stage play.  This total dedication of an academic year to a single
play meant that our college -(TM)s plays enjoyed the same renown as those
in the most revered theatres of the region.  Ours was a craft taken with
seriousness, and all of us were most serious about it.  And this year was
our third and final.  The first two years had consisted of straightforward
adaptations of classicaly written, three act structured plays; dialogue and
drama heavy.  At the start of this year however, our teacher, Sarah, spoke
with a smile of a totally different approach.

   I was sitting in a window corner of the art  -�territory -� of the
college.  In all truthfulness, any student not in an artistic department
was doomed for a constant feeling of inferiority, since our college was
unabashedly artistic in it -(TM)s reputation and fabric.  And even though
there were little sections of the institution dedicated to natural sciences
and so forth, the most prestigious territory of it was the art section,
itself divided in different territories of it -(TM)s town; music, visual
arts, and of course, theater.  My bus always caused me to arrive a bit too
early to the college, and so I was to wait every morning for a good 20
minutes until the classes would start.  I was scrolling through my Facebook
app when a bunch of students, male and female, showed up.  They were
talking, probably getting to know one another better for the school year.
Many of them carried instruments; musicians obviously; the others I knew.
There was Chris, Liang, Issa and Ari.  Hugo was at their head, his air
somewhat sneaky.  That could only mean one thing.

    -�Dude, come on, you brought weed with you again? -� I asked.

    -�Hey, it -(TM)s just a little bit, -� he answered, head down.  He
smoked a tiny bit and started coughing like a dying old man.

    -�You have very sensitive lungs, don -(TM)t you? -� He gave me an
annoyed look.

    -�Try smoking this shit and not coughing -�..

   I only had to raise my eyebrow in the cockiest manner for him to
understand  -�challenge accepted -�.  I took the roll and breathed in an
enormous amount, far more than anything ever recommended in order to stay
stafe.  Once done, I jumped down the window corner, showing not only not
the slightest desire to cough, but also no dizziness whatsoever.  The
students just looked at me with utter incredulity.

    -�Your friend -(TM)s pretty badass, -� one of the musicians remarked.

    -�Thanks, -� I responded, after which I slapped the back of Hugo -(TM)s
head.   -�Throw that in the bin and don -(TM)t bring any again, you -(TM)ll
put us all in trouble. -� I turned to the guys in my gang.   -�Come on, we
-(TM)ll be late! -� They nodded and walked towards the theater quarters. 
Some of the girl musicians approached me.

    -�I think it -(TM)s pretty cool how you -(TM)re a girl and you can
order them around, -� one of them said, amused.

    -�Thanks, -� I laughed back.   -�I mean I -(TM)m used to it, almost all
my friends are guys, and you know how it is with them when you -(TM)re a
girl -- Either show them you -(TM)re business or they won -(TM)t take you
seriously. -�

   After parting with them, I walked down the corridor to our classroom and
there saw Alex, rushing to embrace him from behind.

    -�Hi there! -�

    -�Hi sweetie -�.  I loved it when he called me that.  He was the only
one of the boys who called me something other than  -�bro, -� or  -�dude.
-�

    -�Do you know what we -(TM)re doing today in class? -�

    -�We -(TM)ll probably start the end of the year play, I reckon.  Sarah
said that we -(TM)ll do a postmodern-ish play with no dialogue.  She said
it -(TM)s gonna be about sexuality. -�

   Most of us were now twenty, the youngest eighteen, so such a theme was
now finally available for treatment.

    -�What do you mean, postmodern? -�

    -�You know, something not classical.  Something fucked. -�

    -�I know!  I know! -� exclaimed Hugo.   -�We -(TM)ll like, bash
ourselves against the walls repeatedly for hours and that -(TM)ll symbolise
some socio-political plight of the postmarxist something world. -�

   Everyone around me laughed.  Me, I was feeling that same old boredom I
spoke of earlier in this story.  But that wasn -(TM)t the only reason for
my calmness.  My contemplation of Alex also required an amount of focus.  I
hated admitting it, but the reason I enjoyed hugging him was partly so my
hands could feel his muscles.  He was nowhere as muscular as Ari, but then
again, he wasn -(TM)t as tall as Hugo and thus didn -(TM)t look like a
tree. Alex was in that perfect middle.  And even though he was my best
friend -- god did he look handsome.  And most of all, it was the calmness
in him, that elegant nonchalance, which I loved.  It was the shame of my
soul that I continually went through periods of being quite smitten by him.
 -�Idiot, -� I thought to myself.   -�He -(TM)s completely out of your
league. -�

   We entered the so called  -�Theater Quarters. -� The room was a great
rectangular space of beige floor and walls.  One third of the room across
it -(TM)s longitude was occupied by a stage; large enough to hold 40
people, but minuscule compared to the immensity of the college stage where
productions were held.  The other two thirds were a large empty space, with
only two big cubicles on each side, left and right : the costume room and
the prop room.  Between them, in the large space where we did most of our
existing in the class, there was the circle of chairs which we formed to
talk as a group; a large arthurian round table without a table.

   We all took a chair; of course I sat next to Alex; as the teacher Sarah
sat on the one at the highest point of the circle, below the stage.  She
was a comely woman in her late thirties, blonde, a little short of stature
and busty.  I used to be quite jealous of her torso until last year, when
slowly I realised that my own breasts had become larger and even more well
rounded than hers.   -�Shut the fuck up, -� I told myself.   -�You -(TM)re
so narcissistic. -�

    -�Hey Jade. -�

   I turned to salute Isabel, one of my only female friends for whom my
friendship equalled that which I had for the boys.  Isabel had always been
my girl sister, the one to whom I could turn to when curious, sad, confused
or even panicked about my womanhood.  She was the one who continually
helped me grow into a woman.  The other girls, I knew only as casual
friends from school.  One was Chanel, a sport lover of a different cut than
Chris -(TM)s.  The latter enjoyed sports from his TV, Chanel enjoyed them
with her very sweat and muscles, so much so that only Ari and Alex had ever
managed to beat her in games of iron fist.  I saw her talking with the
other girls.  They --well, I must say WE, since I was one; dominated the
group.  The seven boys were the only males out of the thirty students in
the class.  While everyone was friendly to one another, and teamwork and
discussions were ripe, there was a clear distinction between the boys, who
usually hung together, and the girls, who formed their own separate group.
I again was the anomaly in that I was always with the boys; and many of the
females that I had known for two years by then were still strangers to me.
The only thing I can say with utter certainty about them; is that it was a
recurrent act for them to steal glances at me whilst I -(TM)d be laughing
with my male friends.  I didn -(TM)t need the ability to read their minds
to know that constant judgement and questioning was the object of their
thoughts as they observed me so.  After two years, they still looked at my
being part of the boy -(TM)s group as something strange.

    -�Welcome everyone, -� said Sarah in her enthusiastic poet -(TM)s tone,
 -�please turn off your cellphones.  Yes you too Ari.  Alright, good
morning everyone.  Since we -(TM)ve spent the last two days warming up, we
can cut right to the meat today.  We -(TM)ll start preparing the end of the
year play this very morning. -�

    -�So what is it exactly? -� asked Isabel.

    -�As I had told some of you, we -(TM)ll be doing something completely
different this year.  Since it -(TM)s your last year here, I want you all
to go with a bang.  This year -(TM)s play will be a testament to your
talent and will have to be the most beautiful you -(TM)ve ever staged.  The
piece will contain no dialogue nor narrative.  It won -(TM)t function on
normal human language, or even the classical language of theatre.  No, this
play will be emotions, pure, raw feelings, nothing more. -� Part of the
class looked at Sarah dubiously, but I trusted the woman.  She knew what
she was doing.  When she felt that we had gotten, albeit vaguely, an idea
of what she was talking about; she continued.   -�You all know that the
Theater here is very much esteemed and respected throughout the region. 
Critics and lovers of the theatrical arts come here every June to see the
plays that we have crafted.  Because of this reputation and commitment the
college has to quality, I want to make sure that this play will be pitch
perfect.  Because of this, -� she turned to me,  -�I want you, Jade, to
play the main character. -� A bright and shocked smile formed on my face as
the assembly applauded me.  After Alex hugged me congratulations, Sarah
continued.   -�I said you -(TM)ll play the main character, but that -(TM)s
not very true.  You won -(TM)t be playing a character, since there will be
none in the play.  Instead you -(TM)ll be playing a feeling, an idea -- -�

   It was now my turn to ponder dubiously on the words.

    -�An idea? -� I repeated, confused.   -�How am I supposed to play an
idea? -�

   The teacher smiled.

    -�A fair question.  The only way to find the answer is to show you your
costume, because all your performance will be in your costume. -�

    -�Alright, -� I said eagerly.

   Sarah pointed at the ground next to her.

    -�This.  This will be your costume. -�

   We all laughed.  Yet for some reason, there was a stern seriousness to
the teacher -(TM)s look.

    -�What?  My costume -(TM)s gonna be the ground? -�

    -�Not the ground, no.  What -(TM)s above it. -� Sarah -(TM)s tone was
somber, almost gruff.

    -�But there -(TM)s nothing above the ground -- -�

    -�Exactly. -�

   Confusion was creeping in me.

    -�So --I -(TM)m not going to have a costume?  I -(TM)ll just wear
everyday clothing?  Is that the point of my character? -�

   The teacher made sure that her gaze was fixated unto mine before
speaking :

    -�You won -(TM)t be wearing a costume Jade.  You -(TM)ll have to be
completely natural. -�

   The air we all breathed was replaced with silent discomfort.  Only the
ticking of the clock spoke.  With my confused look, I made it clear to
Sarah that I still did not know what was going on.  She only smiled, the
way mothers do to comfort their children.

    -�Sweetheart, you won -(TM)t be wearing a costume.  You won -(TM)t be
wearing everyday clothing.  You won -(TM)t be wearing anything -- -�.The
heaviest, most awkward silence of all fell on the room.  None spoke, for
none knew what to say, but all looked at me.  I just sat there, my lips
parted, my blue eyes big and confused.   -�Jade dear, you will be naked. 
Totally and completely naked. -�

   Utter shock, that was the only response from me.  No one could believe
they had just heard these words.  Isabel answered in my stead.

    -�Miss, what the hell?  Did you say she -(TM)s going to have to be
nude? -�

    -�Yes I did. -�

   Now that the idea was repeated, it felt even more impossible for anyone
to grasp it.

    -�Whu --what?  Why will she have to be naked? -�

    -�Because the play is about the power of feminine sexuality.  It -(TM)s
entire goal will be to translate the very essence of erotic tension, of
Woman -(TM)s erotic power.  And the purest way to achieve that is to free
womanhood, to exhibit it -(TM)s properties so that all may see it with the
naked eye. -�

   Even though I was absolutely petrified, I could feel myself tremble. 
The only thing harder than my solid idleness was Isabel -(TM)s tone.

    -�But then, the actors and the audience can be females only, right? -�

    -�No.  The boys will be acting next to Jade and everyone will be
invited to the audience, male and female. -�

   That piece of information was the one to break me out of being a mute
statue.

    -�But, b-but but miss -- -� I stuttered,  -�my --friends will all be in
the play.  They -(TM)re guys, and you -(TM)re --asking me -- -�

    -�I -(TM)m asking you to let those male friends you -(TM)ve known for
years see the entirety of your naked body.  No, not just see, but look too.
I want you to be in your most vulnerable physical state in their presence,
I want you to show them every single part of you and continually invite
them to look at it all, your back, your legs, your shoulders, your breasts
-- I want you to expose your nudity to them, to tell them with all the
language in your movements that you want all of their attention on every
single part of your completely bare body.  When the play will be over, I
want these closest friends of yours to know your body better than any of
your boyfriends ever did or ever will -�.

   Boyfriends which I never had.  I listened, terrified.  And yet, feelings
started boiling within me which I could not understand.  My lips slightly
parted, a fever like warmth instilled itself throughout me, and -- and the
tingling came back.  The way Sarah had spoken.  There was such an
invitigness to it.   -�I want to you show them every single part of your
naked body --your legs, your breasts -- -�.  My breasts -- I imagined my
breasts being looked at.  It terrified me, absolutely terrified me.  Then
what was that fever about?

    -�Ok but the guys won -(TM)t be the only ones getting to see a body,
right? -� Isabel asked angrily.   -�She -(TM)s gonna see theirs too, I mean
sexuality requires at least two people. -�

    -�No she -(TM)s not, -� the teacher answered, smiling.   -�The boys
will be wearing clothes, well dressed.  Very chic tuxedos, to be more
precise. -�

    -�WHAT?! -� Now Isabel was driven over the edge.  Chanel joined the
female backlash.

    -�What the fuck is this sexist shit? -� she roared.   -�Why the fuck
does the girl have to be naked and the guys get to wear clothes? -�

    -�Alright, alright, -� Sarah intervened, laughing.   -�First of all, no
one but Jade will be nude, all you girls will wear beautiful costumes. 
Second of all, the contrast is there to strengthen the theme of the play.
How do you define womanhood visually?  How do you encapsulate it, isolate
it completely so that it -(TM)s tangible in it -(TM)s purest form?  You put
everything at an extreme, so that the feelings and themes are as blatant as
possible.  If the boys too were naked, then Jade -(TM)s nudity would be a
part of a whole, not the whole itself.  When there is only one woman in a
scene, and that woman is also the only one nude in the group of characters,
then her nudity is strong and powerful, it shines out, it attracts all the
attention.  Were everyone else naked, the audience -(TM)s attention would
find no focus. -�

   I couldn -(TM)t argue with Sarah -(TM)s artistic logic, for it was
genius.  But --it was my friends she was talking about.  My friends that I
had to strut around naked.  Boys I had known since I was a child.  With
whom I had conversed, played video games, watched movies with, my truest,
oldest friends.  And now I was to be seen nude by them -- The thought made
my head spin.  I shook my head.  It was wrong, just wrong.

    -�Sarah, come on, -� Alex said.   -�What you -(TM)re asking is crazy.
-�

    -�I know it is, and that -(TM)s why I -(TM)m leaving the choice to
Jade. Jade, you decide, and don -(TM)t ever feel bad if you don -(TM)t want
the part.  What I -(TM)m asking you to do is an enormous task and it -(TM)s
absolutely understandable if you don -(TM)t want to do it, alright? -�

   All heads turned to me.  With all those gazes on me, I already, in a
strange way, felt nude.

    -�I --I -- -� I was struggling to speak.  Obviously we all knew what my
answer was going to be.  19 years old, and never kissed a guy.  I was the
very definition of a prude.  There was no way I would do it.   -�I -(TM)ll
think about it. -�

   They all turned to me in utter shock.  I just sat there terrified and
petrified and yet --I didn -(TM)t say no?  Had I just lost my mind?  Sarah
only smiled.

    -�Now let -(TM)s move on to another subject and talk about the
scenography. -�

   The day passed, and eventually we left the college.  As it went with
many evenings, I followed Alex to his house rather than go back to mine. 
Solitude, I must say, was never a state of being that caused me any
enjoyment.  Since I was eighteen, I lived alone in my apartment.  On the
subject of my parents, I will only say that they were not, nor ever had
been present in my life, be it physicaly or even in my knowledge of them.
On this subject I won -(TM)t say any more, and we will not come back to it
again.  All that matters is that this loneliness was the main reason why my
whole life outside of school was spent hanging out with my gang.  Of
course, the eight of us could not always meet, and because of this, my
evenings after college were all spent at Alex -(TM)s house.  While his
mother was still present in his life, she wasn -(TM)t present at nights and
evenings because of the demands of her career, and thus her son was always
to be alone.  I, you may have guessed, was the remedy to that.

   As with every other evening we walked back to his house.  This time
around though, the walk was characterized by an uncharacteristic silence.
We who usually could speak eternally of the most mundane subjects found for
once not a single word to utter.  In fact, for the first time in my life, I
felt the incredible urge to distance myself from him.  Alex -(TM)s arms had
always been home to my comfort when fear, sadness and doubt wrapped their
black fingers around me; and yet, for the first time, I felt as if greater
comfort would be bestowed on me were I to not feel his presence.  It was
the awkwardness.  Sarah had spoken of me being --being nude in front of
him, and all the others.  Thinking of it made me feel like one of those
poor men sent to the trenches of World War I; someone tasked with a mission
so daunting and so damning to their being.  There was no way I could do it,
no way --

   As soon as we entered his house, I rushed to his bathroom.  A hot shower
was most needed to balance out the chaos in my brain.  It was midway
through my washing that I realised a fact humorously obvious.  I was nude.
Of course I was nude, I was in the shower.  And yet, that nudity could make
me think of only one thing.  As I stood there, naked, I closed my eyes and
stopped the falling of the water.  I could feel the air on my bare skin.  I
imagined how it would feel, this air, in the middle of our class. 
Surrounded by so many clothed figures, being the only one nude.  And most
of all, being nude in front of my dearest friends.  All those males,
clothed, surrounding me.  Looking at me --

    -�I want you to show them every single part of your naked body, to
continually invite them to look at it all, your back, your legs, your
shoulders, your breasts -- -� Sarah -(TM)s words echoed through my mind.  I
felt my teeth bite my lip, and my hands travel across my naked body.  It
was as though I was trying to visualise it manually.  Then my fingers
entered my vagina, and played there as the other pair groped my breast.  At
the very last instant before climaxing, I imagined how it would feel if
these hands were not mine, but other -(TM)s.  A male -(TM)s, perhaps?

   Perhaps even one of my friends -(TM)s?

   The thinking stopped as soon as it started for I growled with all my
strength to stop myself from moaning too loud.  After I washed away the
proof of my sinful behavior, I went out of the shower and dressed back up.

   Alex was waiting for me, sitting on his bed.

    -�You look adorable, -� he said with a smile.  He loved it when my hair
was wet and falling all across my face.

   I was about to thank him when a ringing in my cellphone attracted my
attention.  It was Max that texted me.  I jumped on the phone to read the
text.  Surely he was asking about the where and when of our planned date
for the morrow?  Unfortunately, the motive behind the message was
completely different.

   Max was explaining that he was cancelling the date, and that there
wouldn -(TM)t be any other to follow.  That I was beautiful and fun, but
that I had gone on too long testing his patience.   -�We had five dates and
you never let me kiss you -�, the text read.   -�If you still don -(TM)t
want to kiss after a whole month, I guess you -(TM)re not interested -�. 
The most hurtful part was his desire to stress the fact that he had found a
girlfriend.  That part, he could at least have left out.  The cellphone I
threw away on the bed, and myself I sat down angrily next to Alex.  But in
a matter of seconds, that anger turned to pathetic weeping.

    -�Hey, what is it? -� he asked, fearful.   -�What is it sweetheart? -�
I pressed myself against him, letting him hug me and caress my hair as I
cried; explaining to him what had happened.  He hugged me even tighter.  
-�Aawn, baby -- -� he shushed, kissing my forehead.   -�it -(TM)s all
right, you -(TM)ll find another one. -�

    -�But I liked THIS one -- -�

    -�Jade, I don -(TM)t want to put salt in the wound but --well I can
-(TM)t blame him too much. -� I questioned him with my tearful eyes.  
-�You had FIVE dates, Jade, FIVE.  If you liked him so much, why did you
never let him kiss you? -�

    -�Because it would -(TM)ve been too fast otherwise. -�

    -�Too fast?  You had been talking to each other for a month.  When
would it have felt OK for you to kiss him?  After six months?  The middle
ages ended a while ago, you know? -�

    -�So what?  It -(TM)s my fault? -�

   He seemed sorry to say it.

    -�Well yeah.  Sweetie, you -(TM)re too much of a prude.  Everyone makes
fun of you behind your back for that. -�

    -�And yet I don -(TM)t hear people making fun of Claire -- -� I
reminded, referencing the nerdy girl in our class.

    -�Claire at least had one boyfriend.  And there -(TM)s a difference
between her and you.  You -(TM)re beautiful.  People can understand why
Claire isn -(TM)t in a relationship, but you?  It -(TM)s not normal for
you. -�

   Even though I was still letting him hug me, I gave him an angry look.

    -�Well YOU sure didn -(TM)t help it either -- -� I accused.  Alex
rolled his eyes.

    -�Jade, not this again.  That was two years ago. -�

    -�People remember getting friendzoned decades after it happened.  You
-(TM)re always scolding me for being prudish but hey, I wasn -(TM)t the one
who said no to us. -�

    -�Look, I -(TM)m sorry to break it to you, but I like sex.  A lot.  And
you made it clear that if we were to be a couple, I might only get to kiss
you on Valentine -(TM)s Day.  That -(TM)s not the sort of proposition you
make to a guy who isn -(TM)t a buddhist monk. -�

   I pondered on his words.  There was much truth to them, even though I
was struggling to admit it.

    -�Or maybe you just think I -(TM)m ugly. -� I retreated from his
embrace and stood up, my back facing him.

    -�That -(TM)s bullshit.  You -(TM)re beautiful. -�

    -�Yeah, right -�.  I wasn -(TM)t about to believe him.

    -�You -(TM)re fucking beautiful, -� he repeated.   -�You know what
everyone says about you, right?  That you -(TM)re the prettiest girl in the
whole college -�.  I couldn -(TM)t help but turn to look at him.  I -(TM)d
heard some say that before, but never truly believed it.  Hearing from Alex
--that made me believe it.

    -�Really? -� I asked.

    -�Really.  And I -(TM)ll be the first to agree.  Everything about you
is perfect, your hair, your nose, your eyes.  I can -(TM)t pick a single
part that could be improved. -�

   I smiled lovingly.  He was so sweet, telling me those things.  And I
could see in his face that the words were spoken with utter sincerity. 
Then, from the deeper parts of my conscience, a question arose.  My
drunkenness caused by the vain satisfaction of being complimented gave me
the courage to ask it.

    -�What about my body? -� I whispered.

   He froze.  Even he, the suave, knowing Alex suddenly knew not what to
say.

    -�I -(TM)m sorry? -�

    -�What about my body? -�

   He gave me a severe look.  Clearly, he was not enjoying whatever game I
was making us play.

    -�I don -(TM)t know.  I -(TM)ve never seen it. -�

   I looked him straight in the eyes.

    -�Would you like to? -�

   Realisation gleamed in his blue eyes.  He looked away, almost as if to
register what I had just said.

    -�I was going to ask you about that --eventually -- Jade, why didn
-(TM)t you just say no there?  Were you too scared of disappointing Sarah?
-�

   I took in a deep breath.  Saying what I wished to say required more
courage than I thought I had.

    -�I --I don -(TM)t know how to say it -- When I was sitting there, and
the teacher was describing me -- -� I took another deep breath.   -�Naked,
in front of all you guys --Alex, I -- I really liked it. -�

   His eyeballs almost jumped out of their sockets.

    -�What do you mean you liked it? -�

    -�I was turned on.  Like mad.  I never felt that aroused, ever.  Alex,
please don -(TM)t think I -(TM)m a slut but --I don -(TM)t know, when I
imagined myself naked, and all you guys seeing me, I got turned on. -�

   He was staring at me, like the pope of sane people gazing at the queen
of freaks.

    -�I don -(TM)t get it.  If getting naked arouses you, why aren -(TM)t
you horny every time you take a shower? -�

    -�No, it -(TM)s not getting naked that turns me on.  It -(TM)s --it
-(TM)s being totally naked in front of others. -� I thought of it.  Was
that it?  No, not really.  Of course, imagining myself nude in front of
twenty three clothed girls made me feel some arousal, but that intense
fever that had taken hold of me as Sarah was describing my nudity came from
something else.   -�No, not others -- -�.  I looked at him.   -�It -(TM)s
being naked next to clothed guys. -�

   His confusion couldn -(TM)t have been greater.

    -�But why the hell would that turn you on? -�

    -�I don -(TM)t know dude!  I just know that it did -- Why do you think
I ran to the shower as soon as I got here?  I had to --relieve myself -- Oh
god, this is so weird -- -�

    -�Alright but that doesn -(TM)t mean you -(TM)re gonna do it; getting
naked on stage -- Are you? -�

   I looked at him with apprehension and hesitation.

    -�Alex -- -�

   He gave me the same look I was giving him.

    -�What? -�

   I sighed.

    -�I --I think I wanna do it -- -�

   He shook his head in anger.

    -�Jade, no.  You -(TM)re my best buddy, what the fuck?  I -(TM)m not
gonna sit there and watch you getting objectified like a whore -- If you
wanna do it, fine, but I won -(TM)t be there with you when you will. -�

   Terror flashed in my eyes, and I quickly grabbed his hand.

    -�No please! -� I pleaded.   -�I need you to be there, more than anyone
else.  I need your presence.  And, you know what? -� I bit my lip.   -�Out
of all the guys --You -(TM)re the one I want there the most. -�

   My own words were causing confusion and surprise to me.  It was as if
some unknown spirit possessed me and made me speak things I would never
dare to even think of.  The words didn -(TM)t even feel like they were
mine.

    -�No Jade, no. -� His tone was gruff and determined.   -�You have
dignity.  If you do this, you -(TM)ll be throwing it away.  You call
yourself a feminist don -(TM)t you?  Well so do I, so we have a problem
here.  How many times did we mock how society objectifies women, huh?  You
-(TM)ll be accepting your own sexual objectification by doing this. -�

   There was much harshness to his speech, but also truth.

    -�You mean --you mean I -(TM)ll be doing what those singers do? -�

    -�God no, you -(TM)ll be doing far worse.  Beyonc�(C) and Miley Cyrus
objectify themselves but they don -(TM)t show their complete nudity do
they? And even then, that whole scenario is the most sexist thing I -(TM)ve
ever heard of.  One totally naked woman, and a bunch of men all clothed in
tuxedos?  Can you imagine something more demeaning to women? -�

    -�Well --strippers do that, don -(TM)t they? -�

    -�Precisely.  So what exactly will be different about you?  You -(TM)ll
be doing the same thing strippers do.  You -(TM)ll sexualise yourself in
front of your closest friends. -�

   There was only chaos in my mind.  Alex was right.  The woman, nude, and
the men, clothed, towering over her in elegance and civility while she was
to be in a state of complete objectification, no more gracious than a
beast? It was sexist.  It was outright, blatantly sexist.  The unbalance of
it, the lack of equality, it couldn -(TM)t have been more blatant.  And
yet, there was only chaos in my mind.  For the more I realised how sexist
it was --

   The more I was getting aroused.

   No.  I was a proud woman.  So many activists had fought over the years
to gain honor and dignity for women.  By accepting that role, I would
betray the very gender I belonged to, I would betray the works and efforts
of so many females.  Why not ask a homosexual to join the Westboro Baptist
Church too?  I wasn -(TM)t going to submit to the system.

    -�You -(TM)re right, -� I said.   -�I -(TM)m not a slut, I -(TM)m a
woman with dignity.  I can -(TM)t just flash my tits in front of my male
friends like that.  Wow -- I can -(TM)t believe I even thought of it. -�

    -�It -(TM)s all right, there -(TM)s no need to feel guilty. -�

   I hugged him tight and kissed him on the cheek.

    -�I love you. -�

   He held me protectively in his arms.  I knew that I could always count
on him to protect me and guide me, I knew it.  We spent the evening
together, streaming films, and I spent it in his protective arms.  As the
hours passed, I thought with a bit of regret of the fact that this
situation of Sarah -(TM)s would never occur.  It felt so good, thinking
about it -- But no, it was simply wrong in every moral and ethical way.  My
choice was made.

   The morrow came.  As I entered the Theater Quarters, I carefully made
sure not to meet anyone -(TM)s eyes, lest I feel the extent of the
awkwardness that Sarah had created with her idiotic idea.  As soon as I sat
on one of the circle -(TM)s chairs, I saw the entire group of girls
converge towards me like pigeons flying towards grains.  Isabel sat next to
me and took my hand.

    -�Jade, you -(TM)re gonna say no, aren -(TM)t you, aren -(TM)t you? -�
She spoke faster than bullets would leave an automatic rifle.

    -�Of course I -(TM)m gonna say no.  You know me, there -(TM)s no way I
-(TM)d ever do something like that. -�

   All the girls breathed in perfect synchronisation.

    -�Thank god -� Chanel said.   -�For a second I thought you would. -�

    -�Why?!  I -(TM)m not a slut, -� I reminded, gravely insulted.

    -�What I meant is that you -(TM)re super pretty, and pretty female
performers are always systematically sexualised.  Just look at the music
industry or female actresses.  They do it so they can advance their
careers, because that -(TM)s the surest way.  Most women in your position
would objectify themselves.  But you didn -(TM)t, you made the harder
choice, the right one.  This is something to be very proud of. -�

   I was about to demand some private space when my mind processed Chanel
-(TM)s words.

    -�You -(TM)re saying I was chosen because of how I look? -�

   Cynthia, a tall, dark haired girl, laughed.

    -�Of course you were.  The college makes a shitload of money from the
shows.  If they get the sexiest girl in the school completely naked, the
ticket sales will go through the roof. -�

   An object.  That whole idea was to treat me as a complete and utter
object.  I should -(TM)ve felt disgusted, used, insulted.  Instead
--instead I felt --

   What the fuck was wrong with me?

   I thanked the girls for their support, and as Sarah came into the
Quarters, everyone sat down.  She stood at the head of the Circle and
welcomed us with her warm smile.

    -�Hi everyone.  Today -(TM)s a great day.  We -(TM)re finally going to
start staging the play. -�

   The past two years, those words had generated a great deal of
excitement, but this time around, with the abstractness of the play we were
creating, doubt was the chief reaction.  Fortunately, Liang raised his
hand.

    -�How are we going to, if there isn -(TM)t any dialogue or narrative? I
mean we need something to work off of. -�

    -�That -(TM)s a very good question.  That -(TM)s where the fun of this
year will be.  I -(TM)m giving all of you total and complete creative
control over what you do.  No directions from me, only advice.  You -(TM)re
all free to find your own ways to evoke the feelings and themes of the
play. So every day here, you -(TM)ll be talking and figuring out ways in
which you can use language other than narration and dialogue to evoke said
themes. -�

   The information was received with eagerness.  We were getting a whole
year of total creative freedom.  The year was going to be fun.

   If only I knew just how fun it was to going to be --

   Sarah turned to me.  The eagerness left me in an instant and was
replaced by freezing fear.

    -�Well sweetheart, since we begin staging the play today, I -(TM)ll
have to ask you whether or not you -(TM)ll do the part.  I would give you
more time to think, but I need to know as of today.  And remember that
there -(TM)s absolutely no pressure on you to accept, it was just an offer,
and you -(TM)re free to turn it down.  So let -(TM)s get that out of the
way; what -(TM)s your answer? -�

   Silence.  The most complete, total silence reigned as all gazes were
fixed on me.  At first, everyone seemed to understand my muteness, but as
the silence went on, confusion began creeping into the room, and the air
became so heavy that were breathing awkwardness, not air.  Why isn -(TM)t
she saying no?  They must have been thinking.  I turned to my friends.  To
Chris, Liang, Ari, Sodden, Issa, Hugo --

   Alex --

   Later in our lives, my best friend would tell me that at this moment, he
saw my eyes flicker with an indescribable feeling, a mix of fear,
hesitation, doubt, guilt -- Little did both of us know, that this moment
would forever change who I was.  The moral part of me yearned so
desperately to find the strength to say no.  And yet, I could not find it.
I thought of myself, of my life.  I saw myself as an old woman, on my
deathbed.  An old, proper woman who lived her life as society would -(TM)ve
had her, and with her dying breath, no memories, no souvenirs to allow her
the happiness of knowing that she dies without any regrets.

   I had this one chance.  This one chance to do this strange, crazy, mad
thing.  After taking the deepest breath I ever saw anyone take, I finally
spoke :

    -�I -(TM)ll do it. -�

   Every single jaw in the room dropped.  Even Isabel and the other girls
didn -(TM)t have time to get angry, for their shock was too great.  The
boys threw their wide open eyes at me.

    -�I -(TM)m very happy to hear that, -� Sarah declared joyfully.   -�The
play can never reach it -(TM)s full potential without someone playing that
part, and you -(TM)re the only one I can ever imagine doing it.  Now I
-(TM)ll make you another offer. -� What?  I thought.  Ask me to suck all my
friend -(TM)s cocks while we -(TM)re at it?

    -�As I said, you -(TM)ll all begin exploring the themes today.  In your
case Jade, that means exploring the central themes, womanhood and erotic
tension.  You -(TM)re free to do it in whatever way you want of course, but
if I may give some advice, I -(TM)d advise you to --uhm, well there -(TM)s
no other way to phrase it; strip naked as soon as possible.  Not only will
it help you discover your performance, but it -(TM)ll also help you get
used to it.  You -(TM)ll need to do it often enough so that you -(TM)ll be
totally comfortable with your friends seeing you naked, so we don -(TM)t
have any surprise panic attacks the night of the presentation. -�

    -�You mean --I -(TM)ll have to get naked here too?  And more than one
time? -�

    -�You don -(TM)t have to, it -(TM)s just preferable.  I don -(TM)t need
to tell you that this -(TM)ll take some getting used to -�.

    -�Yeah --yeah of course --So, when should I --practice getting naked,
do you think? -�

    -�Preferably?  I -(TM)d say today, Jade.  Getting nude in front of your
friends on a stage takes a great deal of courage.  Determining if you have
the courage of getting naked right now will show if you have the courage of
doing it in june. -�

   A fucking shockwave hit me.  Even if I had processed the idea that I was
to appear nude in front of all the class; which I didn -(TM)t, I still saw
it as this distant, intangible idea.  Now reality hit me hard.  I began
regretting my decision.

    -�T --t --today? -� I stuttered.   -�Like --like --n-now?  Right now?
-�

    -�Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable, sweetheart. -�

   Again, the levels of anticipation rose through the roof of the room.  I
looked at my guy friends.  And this tingle appeared again.

    -�I -(TM)ll --I -(TM)ll --do it now, then. -�

   My mind couldn -(TM)t process what was happening.  I rose from my chair.
 -�I can -(TM)t be doing this, -� I thought,  -�I can -(TM)t be doing this,
I can -(TM)t, I can -(TM)t -- -�

    -�Umm --Can I --can I have the keys to the changing room? -�

   Sarah laughed a sweet laugh.

    -�The changing room?  Sweetie, you don -(TM)t need it. -�

    -�Oh, right -- -� I blushed.  Every instant was bringing about another
realization of what I was about to do.  And every realization made me
realise the implications of it.  And even then, I doubted that I was fully
aware of what I was doing.  Was I having a dream?  It sure felt like it.  
-�So --where do I do it? -�

    -�You can do it right here. -�

    -�Right --right -- -�

   I placed myself in the very middle of the Circle, where everyone -(TM)s
gazes converged to me from all directions.  I was trembling with terror,
and yet there was this invisible force that kept me going even with all the
fear I felt.  I looked at the boys, then lowered my eyes as soon as eye
contact was made.  I was contemplating reality itself.  Could I truly do
this?  Get naked like that, in front of my gang?  Could I plant the seeds
of the most unbrotherly of feelings in my friends, feelings no friend
should feel for another friend?  Somehow, my trembling hand that moved by
itself told me yes.

   First, I took off my shoes and socks.  Already felt I the unforgiving
cold of the wooden ground.  Again, another detail that would -(TM)ve been
meaningless in another context smashed reality right into my face.  Once
barefoot, I took another deep breath, then grasped the lower ends of my
hoodie, and removed it.  My bra, with all the cleavage it was showing, was
now in full view.  I tried to calm myself by thinking that they -(TM)d seen
as much every time we went to the pool together.  No, I thought, they never
saw THAT much.  I always chose swimwear for decent women, dignified women.
That was my bra they were seeing, and it already showed much of my large,
full chest.

   Why was I freaking out about the bra?  In a few seconds I wouldn -(TM)t
even have that much anymore.

   After that, down went my sweatpants.  Now I stood in my underwear only.
I again looked over to the boys.  Even though my skin color was that of
dark caramel, my face went all red out of a mixture of shame and terror. 
And that fear was taking hold of me.  I wanted to give up, to turn back. 
All this madness was causing me only shame and terror.  Why was I making
myself suffer so much?

   Then I thought of that image, of me standing totally nude before my
close male friends, and my nipples hardened, so much so that they began to
hurt against the fabric of the bra, begging me to take it off.  My arousal
too, begged for the same thing, and so did every fiber of my being.  And
without thinking, I closed my eyes --

   And undid my bra strap.

   My boobs fell out so fast that they seemed like prisoners jumping into a
much yearned for freedom.  I took hold of my panties and slid them down my
legs.  That last piece of clothing fell to the ground.  I was now totally
naked, surrounded by thirty clothed people.  They all looked at me in
complete silence.  That silence was long, and perhaps it went on for
minutes.  Thirty pairs of eyes were studying my bare skin.  My whole body
trembled as if I was stranded nude in the middle of Antarctica.  No, at
least Antarctica would not be populated so by this amount of clothed
persons.  Being nude in the middle of that room was even worse.  I suddenly
realised that even though my front was covered, my ass, on the other hand,
was totally exposed to everyone behind me.  I rapidly turned around to see
Ari and Chris looking at it like salivating dogs.  I felt my heart jump. 
They saw my ass --they saw my ass!

   Then another realisation hit me -- Others where now looking at my bare
butt!  I turned around again, and there saw the rest of my gang with their
eyes pointed down there.  Whatever I did, they encircled me.  My ass was to
be seen and nothing could stop it.  Fortunately for me, Sarah got up and
clapped her hands.

    -�Alright everyone!  We can now start building our play.  Girls, all of
you go to the left side of the room, we -(TM)ll talk about how you can find
ways of emoting the themes.  All girls except for Jade, you -(TM)ll be with
the boys on the right side.  Boys, talk with Jade about how you can
interact together in the play.  And Alex, you -(TM)ll take care of her,
alright? -�

    -�Of course I will, -� my best friend responded staunchly.

   I gave him something of a lover -(TM)s smile, but that smile disappeared
as soon as the members of the class began to migrate and I was reminded
that my ass was showing.  I walked to the right side of the room but stayed
a good distance away from the boys.  Alex placed himself in front of me so
only the girls could now see my bare butt.

    -�You alright babygirl? -� he asked, putting a tender hand on my cheek.
I thought of asking him to hold me in his arms, then thought of the
impossibility of that.

    -�I --I --I don -(TM)t know --not really -- -�

   Sodden interrupted our conversation.

    -�So, uh, do we start discussing the play? -� he asked awkwardly.

   I nodded, but still remained silent with my arms tightly wrapped around
my boobs and my legs as tightly crossed as my arms.  I wasn -(TM)t even
listening to the boys who tried to mutter some artistic ideas while also
trying not to steal glances at me; I was just slugging through my own
confusion and humiliation.  Liang turned to me.

    -�Umm, Jade, I don -(TM)t want to be rude or --uh, but, well, one day
or another, we will have to --uh --see --you know -- -�

    -�No you -(TM)re right, -� I answered.   -�I just --fuck, I can -(TM)t,
I -(TM)m sorry.  I can -(TM)t stop hiding my body.  Sorry, I just feel
really embarrassed, I -- -�

   Alex again placed a protective hand over my cheek.

    -�Hey, Jade, baby, -� he whispered.   -�You can stop this if you
-(TM)re not feeling well, huh? -�

   I shook my head.

    -�No, I want to do this, it -(TM)s just --it -(TM)s really hard for me
not to cover myself. -�

   An air of  -�eureka -� shone on Ari -(TM)s face, and he ran to the prop
room.  When he came back, all of my Caribbean lineage left my face as I
turned paler than snow.  Ari was holding handcuffs.

    -�What?! -� I whispered, utterly terrified.

    -�This -(TM)ll help you not cover yourself, -� Ari said.

   My initial thought was to tell him to fuck off, but I then decided that
his strategy was wise enough to be accepted.  I nodded, almost docile.

    -�But I want Alex to put them, -� I quickly added, cold as ice.

   Alex took the cuffs from him.  He took me by the arm and placed me
before the gang.  All six boys were in front of me, waiting anxiously,
hungrily --

    -�Are you sure you want to do this? -� he asked me.

    -�Yes, -� my soul whispered.

   And that was it.  The moment.

   He took one arm, placed it behind my back, and cuffed the hand.  My body
jumped a little when I heard the metal click.  He did the same with the
other hand, and now both were cuffed, my arms behind my back.  As soon as
my best friend finished restraining me, I heard a crazed yell from behind.

    -�WHAT THE FUCK?! -� Isabel screamed as she went down the stage,
followed by Chanel and some other girls.

    -�It -(TM)s all right, -� I responded, smiling.   -�I need this right
now -- -�

   I turned away from their looks of confusion to face the gang.  As soon
as I saw all those faces, an instinctive urge had me move my arms to cover
myself, but the cuffing stopped my movement short.  That single moment gave
me more arousal than anything I had ever felt before in my life.

    -�Alex? -� I whispered.

    -�What is it baby? -�

    -�Hold my arm please. -�

   And so he did, giving me some strength.  I felt my nipples harden.  Alex
was touching me.  He was only touching my arm.  But he was doing it as I
was totally nude.

   That was it.  I was there.  Doing it.  I stood completely naked.  Not a
single part of my body covered; from my feet to my legs to my pubis and
breasts and way up, everything was exposed.  That -(TM)s what I was,
exposed, like a medieval prisoner for humiliation, like some whore, some
low down stripper slut who kept no dignity for her bitch self.  And in that
state, every little detail changed everything, every detail shaped how I
felt.  The cold floor had me stand on the tip of my toes, and that made my
body elevated, elongated and more beautiful, the same way heels would do,
but heels at least covered an infinitesimal amount of flesh.  Not even a
single part of mine was.  My hard breathing caused my breasts to bounce,
offering an even better spectacle than if they remained still.  It was all
crazy.  I looked at them, my friends, my male friends.  None of their eyes
scouted anything above my elbows, no, they all wandered down there.  They
were looking at my body.  A day prior, I was Jade, their buddy, their pal,
their bro.  Now I was showing my whole nude body to them.  It was crazy --
It was crazy --

   It was so good --

   Oh, how Issa watched my breasts move with such shock, the same Issa with
whom I spoke of girls and their stupid ways.  Oh, how Sodden was seeing all
of me, Sodden the geeky one who spoke rarely, with whom I had worked on so
many school projects over the years.  And Hugo, Hugo the clumsy one I
always disciplined and ordered around, now he was drinking the delicious
shape of my thighs with his eyes.  And Chris, the boy with which I engaged
in the most unfeminine of activities as we would both slouch on chairs to
play video games all night long, drinking beer and shoving chips down our
throats, now he saw me as he never did before; totally feminine and more
sexualised than any female in any video game ever was.  And all the others
too, they were tasting my nude body with their eyes.  They were taking
pleasure from me as a mere sexual object, now irrevocably holding
superiority over me in their clothed, manly forms.  Knowing that I was
degrading myself so, relinquishing that absolute equality we had cultivated
over the years for this sexist, objectifying heaven --it made my head spin
in a tornado of arousal.  I never felt so horny in my entire life.

   I jumped as Sarah suddenly appeared next to me.

    -�Well well -- -� the teacher said with a smile on her face.   -�You
-(TM)ve got quite the body on you Jade -- My, just look at those breasts!
Large and round and firm -- -� My face turned more red than my nipples as I
drowned in shyness.   -�You -(TM)re giving the boys quite a treat -- And
what -(TM)s this?  You like to be cuffed? -�

    -�No miss, I just --needed to stop covering myself  -- -�

    -�I see.  Also, try turning around now, you must get used to have your
backside exposed to them. -� Reluctantly, I turned around, presenting my
bare ass to the group.  And now, Alex was facing me.  It was his turn to
look at my body.   -�I have documents to tend to, -� Sarah went on,  -�so I
-(TM)ll probably be gone for the day.  I -(TM)ll leave you all to work on
developing the play.  And Jade, -� she added, turning to me.   -�that
handcuff idea could actually be great in the play.  Try building on it,
alright? -�

   I nodded silently as the teacher left the room.

    -�Alex? -� I asked.   -�Are they looking at my ass? -�

    -�Like lions eyeing a gazelle -�

   I wouldn -(TM)t have had a different facial expression had hands started
rubbing my pussy.  I closed my eyes and savoured the moment for a long
while, enjoying the knowledge that six males were ogling my bare ass while
another did so with the front of my body.  Alex woke me from that erotic
slumber some instants later, telling me that the boys had scurried off to
the stage to try and discuss the expression of it -(TM)s themes.

    -�What do we do now? -� he asked.

    -�Can I sit first? -�

    -�Of course. -�

   I asked to sit on one of the chairs facing away from the stage were
everyone was, but he reminded me that the goal of all this madness was to
get me used to this nudity.  Again, I just nodded in silence.  It seemed
that my nakedness made me so vulnerable that no pretence of authority
persisted in me.  But even sitting, there was no stillness to me.  I
crossed my legs to hide my pussy.

    -�Uh, Jade --I don -(TM)t want to annoy you, but you shouldn -(TM)t
cover yourself you know?  That -(TM)s the point of the exercise. -�

    -�I know, it -(TM)s just a fucking reflex, I can -(TM)t fight it --Help
me please, I need something to hold me in place -- -�

   He left for the prop room, then came back with three more cuffs.  He
took my arms and placed them behind the backrest, then knelt and cuffed my
bare feet.  He then used used the other two cuffs to tie the already locked
ones to the chair.  I was now totally chained to it.  I pushed my toes
against the ground and lifted my body to test their solidity, bringing out
my naked breasts as I did.  I failed to move more than a few centimetres.

    -�Well, I sure can -(TM)t move.  Thanks. -� I gave him a smile.

    -�Alright, well -- -� He was looking away from me.   -�Well what do we
do now? -�

    -�We talk about the play.  Tell the guys to come here. -�

   And he did.  The boys sat around me, and we discussed, casually, ways in
which we could prepare the play.  The conversation soon shifted to other
subjects, such as movies, sports, the weather -- It was as casual as
conversations go.  You know -- except for the part where there was a
totally naked girl chained like a prisoner condemned to public humiliation.
It felt so strange, to look at this multitude of clothed guys trying to
converse casually but failing to steal thousands of glances at my naked
body.  Every time they did, I felt the urge to cover myself, but the cuffs
stopped me from doing so.  I was at their mercy.  My shivering would not
stop.  Not only was there nothing to cover me, but my feet were bare and
thus touched the cold ground.  The cuffs, metal and chilly, clamped against
my ankles and my wrists, and the aluminium of the chair I sat on kept
breathing it -(TM)s chill on my ass and my back.  I couldn -(TM)t have felt
less comfortable.  And to add to all that were my buddies, clothed and
free, to surround me and look at me.  The discomfort made me continually
move on the chair, but the restraints caused my movement to look like some
sort of slow, erotic dance.  My toes kept pushing against the ground,
bringing my long legs higher up and exaggerating their curves.  My arms
pushed against the backrest, bringing my breasts out and causing my chest
to move slowly and sensually.  I was not realising any of this, instead
gyrating in an all the more erotic manner as sweat began to fall from my
body.  The cold was being replaced by a fever like heat.  My arousal kept
on becoming greater.  As for the poor boys, they just kept on trying to
speak, ignoring the naked, chained slut that moved herself in front of
them. The more time passed though, the more comfortable I felt.  Not when
it came to the restraints or the chair, but when it came to the looks. 
They still stabbed me with searing shame and humiliation, but at least my
movements were becoming calmer and the urge to cover myself was
disappearing.

   Eventually, as the hours passed and a relative amount of comfort began
to settle in, I asked to be uncuffed.  The boys and I sat on the stage and
spoke, a little less awkwardly now, of how to approach the play.  I sat
next to Alex, so close that the side of my leg was touching the fabric of
his jeans.  Our proximity caused my sweating to be all the more pluvious. I
noticed he wasn -(TM)t paying any attention to the conversation.  He was
looking at my body.

    -�What? -� I asked.

   He jumped and turned his gaze away, acting as if he hadn -(TM)t been
looking all that time.

    -�Nothing. -�

    -�Come on -�, I giggled, almost like a little girl.   -�I saw you
sneaking a peek there. -� Alex kept on avoiding my look.  He still seemed
very uncomfortable about the fact that my naked body was right next to him.
I took his face to turn it towards mine, and smiled.   -�Hey, it -(TM)s all
right.  Come on, tell me what you think -�.

    -�Well --you look very feminine -- -�

    -�Feminine?  What do you mean? -�

    -�I don -(TM)t know.  Just the way you -(TM)re sitting.  You don -(TM)t
usually sit like that. -�

   Confused, I looked at myself.  My upper body was forming an elegant
curve, my thighs felt more pronounced and curvaceous and my legs were
crossed in that stereotypically girly way; as my back formed a proud arc
that brought out my breasts and exaggerated their already generous size.

    -�And I don -(TM)t usually sit like that? -�

    -�You never do.  Normally you -(TM)re slouching with your legs wide
open, like Chris.  But right now, I don -(TM)t know, it looks pretty the
way you -(TM)re sitting. -�

    -�I -(TM)m sure being completely naked also helps. -�

   This time around, Alex joined me in the giggle.  It seemed he was
starting to warm up.  He stole a quick glance at my boobs, then jumped back
at looking away.  I found it so cute that I couldn -(TM)t help but plant a
quick kiss on his cheek.

    -�What was that for? -� he asked.

    -�Nothing. -� Smiling somewhat mischievously, I shrugged and went back
to conversing with the other boys.  As time went by, my pose became all the
more relaxed and inviting.  My breasts were fully presented to them and I
loved seeing how blatantly they were enjoying them.  Whilst during the
early part of the day, I had been a shy, trembling mess, now I was looking
more and more like a posing model as confidence, and dare I say, cockiness
grew in me.  And during all that time, the corner of my eye saw the same
thing; Alex -(TM)s gaze solidly fixated on my boobs.  I couldn -(TM)t blame
him either, my breathing made them move beautifully and the ever growing
sweat made them glisten.  After a whole hour of talking about the different
variations of rock music, I turned back to look at Alex.  He was still
gazing at my boobs.  I laughed and planted another kiss on his cheek.

    -�I -(TM)m --I -(TM)m sorry, -� he apologised, shameful.   -�I shouldn
-(TM)t be looking at you like that. -�

    -�It -(TM)s all right, -� I assured, laughing.   -�I like it when you
look. -�

    -�Are you --are you sure? -�

    -�I am.  Please look more, I love it.  It makes me feel beautiful. -�
He looked at my breasts for a few seconds before looking back into my eyes,
asking with his gaze if it was alright.  Instead of answering with words, I
turned slightly to face him.  Now my boobs were right below his eyes.

   And he continued looking.  It felt so good, to see him gazing at my
nudity.  My best friend, my closest buddy.  He was enjoying me the way
perverts enjoyed strippers.  And it felt so good.  My breathing became
faster, and the heat in my body, so great that the sweat now made me look
wet.  And wet too was I now between my legs.  I was lubricating.  God, I
was becoming hornier by the minute.  It was clear that my ever growing
arousal was as blatant as my nudity.  The guys were stuttering all the more
and their eyes were starting to lock on me as much as Alex -(TM)s .  It was
becoming too much, too much to handle.

    -�Alex, -� I muttered,  -�can you tell the guys to go down the stage?
Tell them I -(TM)m too embarrassed right now. -� I was embarrassed of
course, but my need for their departure was the extreme arousal their
clothed presents were causing.  They had to go, or else my fingers, moved
by a force too great, would start rubbing my pussy by themselves.

   The boys left for a more remote location of the class, and Alex started
getting up too.  My hand grabbed his.

    -�Stay, please, -� I begged.   -�I need you -- -�

   I needed his presence next to me like air.  His powerful presence,
powerful because he was clothed and I was totally nude, powerful because of
this absolute contrast and unbalance.  He stayed, thank god, and my
sweating became ever more abundant.  My body was shining now.  Oh god, it
felt so good -- How I am I even able to wear clothes next to him?  I
thought, when it felt so good to submit my naked self to his gaze, to let
his strength humble me in my vulnerability?

   I was so wet.  I closed my eyes.  My hard breathing had now turned into
soft, tortured moans of anger.

    -�Unh --unh --unh -- -� I must have sounded like a slut begging for
sex. Alex was looking away now, discomfort growing in him.  Unfortunately
for him, I grasped his shirt and and nuzzled my face in his neck, breathing
and muffling my moans there.  His agitation was becoming all the greater.

    -�Jade -- -� he muttered almost angrily,  -�will you stop that?! -�

    -�I can -(TM)t, -� I was whispering with my lips against his ear.  
-�Unh --unh --Alex --I feel so hot, unh -- -�

   He distanced himself a little from me.

    -�Uh, Jade, you really have to stop whatever the hell you -(TM)re
doing, Isabel and Chanel are looking at us. -�



    -�I don -(TM)t care, -� I breathed against his ear,  -�hnh, fuck, unh,
I feel so hot, unh -- -� My hands were grasping him so much that I was
almost fondling his torso and shoulders.   -�I think I -(TM)m aroused Alex.
-�

    -�You think?!  That was pretty evident two hours ago!  Go to the
bathroom. -�

    -�Huh?  Why?  Unh -- -�

    -�Well you know --to relieve yourself -- Something tells me you really
need it right now.  Go on, there -(TM)s never anyone in the corridors at
this hour of day. -�

   I nodded and got up; fortunately my body didn -(TM)t seem to be one of
those that lubricated too much and thus I could walk without anyone
noticing my shame if I held my thighs together.  I left the Quarters
through the back doors; the ones that allowed passage through tiny
corridors seldom visited by anyone and away from all the classrooms.  I had
walked through them for two years, but now I did it as Eve in the Garden.
As I entered the bathroom, the clip clap of my bare feet coincided with the
unforgiving cold they felt against the tiles.  It caused my nipples to
harden even more than they already had.  I locked myself inside one of the
toilets and, ass against the cold wall, sucked two of my fingers and shoved
them eagerly in my pussy.  With one hand I played with my boobs, and the
other, quenched this most unbearable of thirsts.

   "Unhh...unhh...unhh... -�

   I moaned, imagining all my guy friends with their gazes all over me.  It
felt so good...

   My moans and my fingering went on, and finally I orgasmed; ending an
eternity of suffering, a day long arousal.  The very moment I finished
washing away the shame between my legs with water, a tall brunette and a
stout brunette entered the bathroom.

   "What, the, fuck..." one of them muttered in other shock.  The other one
just smiled in disbelief.

   "Uh, hi..."

   I felt utter humiliation as my face went red.

   "Why are you naked?"

   "Long story." The smiling girl took out her phone and took a picture of
me.  "Woah!  What are you doing?"

   "Don't worry, I'm not showing it to anyone, I just need a pic of this."

   I could only trust her.  What else was I to do?  Were I to cause the
slightest disturbance, they could call a teacher and I would be found in
this state.  I simply smiled and headed for the exit.  As I was about to
leave, I felt a slap on my ass.  My hair almost flew away as I spun my
head.

   "Sorry," the tall one giggled.  "but that ass is way too slappable. 
Fuck babe, you're smoking hot!"

   "Really?" I must've sounded a little too innocent, but the compliment
had made me flush like a little girl.

   "Yeah!" the short one added.  "I'd kill to have a body like that."

   She too gave my bare butt a light slap, then the brunette started
touching my boobs without even asking.

   "Oh my god touch these," she said, "they're so big!"

   "Daaamn, yes!"

   The girls kept on discussing my breasts while fondling them, totally
ignoring my presence.  It felt as though in my nudity, they didn't see a
fellow girl, anymore, they only saw some bitch.  I could understand,
clothing had always been a show of social status.  Without them, even I
felt intrinsically "lower." I bit my lip.  The fondling was going on for
too long.  I was starting to feel horny again.

   "All right girls," I laughed, taking off their hands from me.  "I gotta
go."

   "Uhm, you're not going like this where there's guys are you?"

   There was a hint of disgust appearing in their eyes.

   "Of course not," I laughed.  "I'm not a slut."

   I left the bathroom fast.  When I entered the Quarters again, they were
empty.  I just realised that it was 6h30, and that I had spent a good
thirty minutes away from there.  Thankfully, Alex was still there, sitting
on the edge of the stage.  As I sat next to him, he jumped for a second,
surprised by my nudity, then remembered the madness that was going on.

    -�Hey, -� I whispered.

    -�Hey, -� He stole a glance at my boobs.   -�So, do you feel better? -�

    -�Yeah.  Much better.  And you, why didn -(TM)t you leave? -�

    -�Leave?  I -(TM)d never leave without you. -�

    -�Hah.  I love you. -�

   I gave him a kiss on the cheek.  We sat there in silence as I watched
him looking at my body.  Finally, after a while, he managed to look up at
my eyes.

    -�We should go. -� he said.   -�Go get dressed. -�

   I started biting my lip.

    -�What if I don -(TM)t want to? -�

   He looked as if I told him that I was a transexual moose.

    -�What? -�

    -�What if I don -(TM)t want to? -�

    -�Jade, that -(TM)s enough.  Go get dressed. -�

    -�Alright -- -� I groaned like a rebellious tween, going to the center
of the circle where I had left my clothing.

    -�Wait, wait, -� Alex suddenly intervened, still sitting on the edge of
the stage.

    -�What? -�

    -�Nono, don -(TM)t turn around.  Yes, stay like that, face away from
me. -�

    -�But why? -�

   He began stuttering.

    -�Umm -- I -- Well, I didn -(TM)t really get alot of opportunities to
see your, uhm, backside today and --and -- -� He sighed.   -�Fuck Jade, you
have the most perfect ass I -(TM)ve ever seen in my life. -�

   His overwhelmed face was so cute that I began laughing almost
hysterically.

    -�Well then look! -� I said, bending to present my ass to him.  In my
laughter, I didn -(TM)t even care about what I was doing -- Yet I thought
of what the girls in the bathroom had said.  How much of dirty slut could I
be?  Then, not being able to control myself anymore, I walked towards him
and landed the longest, hardest and most loving kiss I ever gave anyone on
his cheek.

    -�Mmmmwah! -� Had I had lipstick on, it would -(TM)ve impregnated the
very tissue of his skin so hard had my kiss been.  I leaned so that our
faces would be at the same height, as my boobs hung right in front of him.
-�Thank you, -� I whispered.

    -�For what? -�

    -�For making me feel beautiful. -�

   He caressed my hair.

    -�You shouldn -(TM)t need me to feel that way.  You -(TM)re the most
beautiful thing I -(TM)ve ever seen. -�

   And these words were the nicest anyone had ever told me.  With the same
intensity as he was staring at my dangling breasts, I was staring at his
lips.  Before my madness would make me kiss them, I sat next to him again.

    -�Alex? -� I asked with manipulative baby eyes.   -�Can we stay here a
little more please?  I wanna cuddle. -�

    -�Alright, but -- Can you get dressed first? -�

    -�No, I -(TM)m too lazy. -�

   I knew he was too smart to believe the lie, but before he could answer,
I put my head against his chest.  Normally, we would cuddle much more
intimately, but I didn -(TM)t want the sides of my large breasts to brush
against him, especially since he still seemed slightly uncomfortable.  It
didn -(TM)t matter, for I felt good.  As he caressed my hair, I thought of
the year that was to come.  Was I really going to go nude on stage?  Was I
really going to keep letting my friends look at me naked?  My mind still
could not comprehend the fact that I had done that.  I felt like such a
slut.  But at least, I couldn -(TM)t possibly get any sluttier, could I?



   The Shaping of the Slut Ch.  02 byCrimsonGirl�(C)

   When treading through the tales and stories from the most remote ends of
time, one finds that the notion of travelling back to the past has been as
ever present as our obsessions with power, wealth or sexuality; and in this
fascination I have always suggested that we can find the innate desire to
relive memories.  Perhaps that had been the drive to invent recording and
playback devices, but such tools allow us only to archive the past, not
relive it.  For the latter, dreams seem to be the only answer, but the
choosing of memories is not ours and they seem to happen only when present
catalysts push our psyche to look back to the past in an effort to cause
meditation.

   That was my only explanation for the dream I was having that night.  I
was back to the first year of college, eating in the cafeteria with Isabel
in front of me.  It was the first time in my life that I had found a girl
with whom I felt a sense of proximity akin to the one I felt with the boys.
The charisma she carried with her tall, elf like appearance and good looks
eased me into openness, but there was something more too.

   For the first time, I had found someone with whom I could be a girl. 
Someone with whom I could confide in matters the boys couldn't understand.

   "And that's how society's been treating women for centuries," Isabel
explained as I listened intently.  "Men could be soldiers, governors,
priests; but women?  Women could either be mothers or whores, nothing
more."

   "And the mother role, that's what we were forced to be for most of
history if I get what you're saying?"

   "Exactly.  Women's sexuality was the biggest possible taboo, our own
bodies didn't really belong to us and had to be hidden.  But now, it just
went to the other extreme.  Now women are the whore."

   "Why do you say that?"

   "Just look around you!  Look at the music industry, at those female pop
singers.  They're almost ALL hyper-sexualized and objectified, yet you see
it so much more rarely with male stars, don't you?"

   "That's so fucking true!" I exclaimed, in awe of Isabel's wisdom.  "It's
always all about the bodies of pop singers in their music videos."

   "It's the same in all the artistic industry.  I'm not saying men aren't
sometimes sexualized, but it's isolated cases there.  Women though, we're
systematically made to take our clothes off in the artistic world."

   "Wow.  This is bullshit."

   "Isn't it?  I'm glad you agree."

   "And I'm glad you're here to teach me these things.  We should be judged
for our talent, not our bodies.  If men deserve it why don't we?"

   "Amen sister."

   Our coffee cups met like wine glasses and we drank, to our friendship
and our dignity as women.

   I woke up from the dream, from the memory.  My heart was sinking in my
chest.  I felt sick, sick to the point of wanting to vomit.  I was
betraying everything I was by accepting that part.  I was forsaking my very
dignity, submitting willingly to the sexism of society.  What the fuck had
I done?  I had gotten completely naked in front of my friends!  My MALE
friends!

   Yet still, I could not turn back.  Not anymore.  That arousal which I
had tasted had seduced my weak soul with feelings so eloquent as to the
pleasure it could bring, that I was now to be haunted by it, like an
addict, a slave of it.  But I was not a slut.  Nor was I ever going to be.
Yes, I has done something horribly slutty, and was to do it two more times,
no more than that.

   No-more-than-that.

   I decided, right there in the darkness of my bedroom, of how the coming
year was going to happen.  I was going to do one last "rehearsal" at some
late point in the year to rejuvenate my comfort with nudity, then act in
the play and move on with my life.  My curiosity would be sated, and as the
years would pass, this act of mine would dissipate into the immensity of
the years as a mere footnote, an eccentric little experience once happened
and gone.  I was not a slut.  Everyone was allowed one little naughty act
in their lives, one little indulgence in unethical behavior; this was mine.

   I kept repeating those words to myself; little sluttiness, little
indulgence, little experience...  My closest guy friends had seen me naked.
How was this anything little?

   The shame and disgust followed me to college.  Thankfully, it was
Thursday, the only day we didn't have acting classes.  This generosity from
Fortune gave me a day's respite from awkwardness.  I couldn't even imagine
what it would feel like to have the simplest conversation with my guy
friends.  That thought added a layer of terror to my already abysmal mood.
Could our friendship even go on?  How would it be possible for me to keep
talking to them after they'd seen every inch of my nude body?  The
ruminations were of such depth and discomfort that I kept fondling my face
in the middle of the cafeteria.

   That's when I heard three disgustingly familiar voices, ones imbued with
too much slime to deserve even an atom of sympathy.  To my dismay, their
proprietors stopped to talk to me.

   "Hey there babe" Abdel said.

   "Hi" I responded gruffly.

   "Why is such a beautiful girl looking so sad?" Yussuf asked.

   The twins truly were that, twins, not only by blood but also by
character, for all they did, they did alongside one another.  The same
could be said for their annoying, continuing attempts at trying to woo me.

   "Why," I riposted with a sarcastic smile, "are twins always trying to
flirt with me?  Suppose I'm interested; which evidently your underdeveloped
brains have a hard time registering; which of you two would I have to
choose?"

   "You wouldn't, babe.  All you'd have to do is get on all fours, I'd go
for the ass and Abdel for the mouth."

   "How romantic, I'm already swooning...  With such skills at talking to
girls I'm surprised you're still single, pathetic losers no girls want to
go out with."

   "Hey!  We fuck girls often!"

   "Then go for girls who want a fuck.  What THIS girl wants is you fucking
OFF."

   I was only getting out steam by telling them those things.  These two
boys always kept trying to flirt with me and nothing could keep them away
for more than two days.  The sad thing was, the same fact applied to Isac;
their taller, more confident, smarter overlord.  And even though I hated to
admit it; hot overlord.  Very, very hot overlord.  Gold necklace wearing
douche, I believe that is apt enough a description for you to already know
everything about him.

   "Why are we so aggressive today?", he near sang in that slimy,
sweltering tone.

   "Why are we asking so many questions on a day that's not a police
case's?"

   Isac just laughed.  There was an unbending sense of confidence to him, a
royal type of confidence.  That wasn't surprising, given that his father
was a very rich owner of multiple dance clubs throughout the region; and it
was said that even one of them belonged entirely to Isac.  Rumors said that
this dance club did not even operate commercially, in fact the rich,
spoiled boy used the large, equipped and luxurious place as a mere hangout
spot for him and his friends.  Isac's Club, as everyone called it, was
notorious for an infamous fact : girls weren't allowed there.  Unlike
Isabel, I cared not much for misogyny as long as it didn't concern me. 
What did annoy me was that Isac, despite that misogyny, still refused to
leave me alone.

   "Come on beautiful", he said, sitting in front of me.  "Why don't you
come over to my house this evening?  I have a very nice pool there."

   "Shame that summer's pretty much done."

   "Then we can just sit in front of the TV.  You can't refuse a stay in my
villa can you?."

   "Indeed I can, Isac.  It might not have crossed your mind that not all
girls are interested in you."

   "Maybe, but not all girls owe me a nude either."

   Shut the fuck up you pig...  I gave him the harshest look my face could
possibly conjure.

   "I don't owe you anything, asshole." The piece of shit was referring to
the first time he had ever texted me, three months prior, during the
summer. As he put it oh so eloquently : "hey babe, ur beautiful, mind
sending me a little naughty look at u?", and the Keats-worthy piece was
followed by a dick pick.

   Naturally, the second part had been very welcome; his cock being very
large and pleasing to look at.  The picture itself was no problem; the fact
that Isac deemed it a negotiation tool was.  According to him, the
unwanted, unasked for show of exhibitionism obligated me to reciprocate.

   "Come on hottie, just one nude, eh?"

   "Get the fuck out, Isac, will you?  The fuck out of my face, this
cafeteria, and preferably,my life too."

   Anger finally found him.  The great, spoiled prince was being insulted
by some insolent little girl.

   "Mind how you talk, cunt."

   "I said get out of my face."

   "You act all stuck up and proud, but I bet deep down inside, you're a
real slut who wants to show her tits."

   SLAP!

   The slap I gave him near well tore off the flesh from his face.  At the
violent sound, every head in the cafeteria turned to me.  I didn't let the
sudden, heavy silence mute me, hell, with all the awkward silences I had
endured those last two days, I'd gotten used to them.

   "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yelled, loud and clear so everyone would hear me.
"Don't ever talk like that to me again." I went away for a few paces, then
stopped and turned my head.  "In fact don't ever talk to me again or I'll
snap that dick of yours in two."

   The prince just sat there, one half of his face red, and the entirety of
his pride in pieces.  Murderous rage was in his stare, whilst his twin
serfs marvelled at me with shock.  What they thought was no concern of
mine, I only wished to be left alone, and so did I leave the silent
cafeteria in a stride of ire.  I retreated to the deeper corners of the
school where my dear old window corner was and sat there; browsing Twitter
on my cellphone in an attempt to change my mind.  So far, that day had been
as shitty as shitty days went.

   Fortune must've deemed it only fair to make it even shittier.  From the
corner of my eye, I noticed a stout, strong silhouette, that of Chanel.  Oh
fuck...

   "Are you alright?" she asked.  "You look pissed off."

   "I'm fine." I held the cellphone over my eyes so that Chanel's eyes
would not meet mine and cause greater shame than there already was.

   "Are you sure?  I've never seen you this pissed."

   I sighed.

   "It's Isac and his friends.  Sexist fucks are very good at STILL making
me angry."

   "I'm not surprised.  They're the most misogynistic bunch anyone knows.
Women are just a pair of tits to them."

   "I know that pretty well.  Isac's been asking me for a nude for months
now."

   "And you didn't send him one?".

   I lowered my phone to send her a gaze akin to the one Isac had just
given me moments before.

   "I'm sorry?"

   "Hey, I wouldn't asked that question yesterday morning but now...now I
don't really know what to think of you anymore."

   The words hurt, deeply.  Even though I had never felt any affection for
Chanel beyond the sort one feels for a classmate of two years, she was my
fellow woman.  To hear and see such disappointment was a knife going
through me.

   "Did...did Isabel talk to you?",I asked.

   "Yeah."

   "And?"

   Chanel made a fearful expression.

   "She's not very happy." My face found itself in my hands again.  "Jade,
what the hell is going on with you?  You let all your guy friends see you
naked!"

   "No need to remind me."

   "But why?  Did they ask you to?"

   "No.  In fact Alex tried really hard to convince me not to."

   "Then why?"

   What could I say?  The truth?  No.  I couldn't tell her I was doing it
because it aroused me.

   "I want to be alone," I said, shrugging her off.

   My wish for peace was granted only shortly, for a few minutes after
Chanel had left, someone else passed in front of the corner.  That time, my
heart truly stopped.

   "Hey," Liang said.

   Oh god, it felt so strange.  My clothes suddenly evaporated into
uselessness, for Liang had seen everything that lay underneath, every inch
of what those shapes suggested.

   "Oh...uh...hey..."

   "What are you doing?"

   "Just uh...uhm...reading about...stuff...on the internet...yeah."

   Was my mind actually able to make me speak?

   Because there was only one thing in it, my voice repeatedly saying : "He
saw you naked, he saw you naked, he saw you naked..."

   "I see, yeah.  So, ehm...how's Max?  Was your date good?"

   "Oh, uh yeah.  Well no.  Well I can't say uh...there was no date, so..."

   He saw you naked...

   "Really?  How come?"

   "He found another girl.  I guess I wasn't interesting enough."

   "Oh...I'm really sorry Jade.  I know you liked him a lot."

   He saw you naked...

   "It's alright, I've moved on already."

   "Do you want a hug?"

   "Nah I'm, uh...I'm alright...thanks."

   I could still feel his eyes on me.  He had seen every single part of me
while I had been cuffed to a chair in front of him.  I wasn't even able to
hold a casual conversation now.  How could I, after he had seen every inch
of my privacy?  He began talking :

   "I can't even understand how he could say no to you.  I mean
you...well...well you have a very sexy nude body for one."

   The surprise I felt made all my discomfort disappear.  My eyes popped
wide open and I turned to him with an enormous gasp, and before it even
ended, a wide, shocked smile too.

   "What a forward young man you are!" I laughed.  His face went red as
soon as he realized what he said.

   "Shit, uh, I'm, I'm sorry, uh...".

   I interrupted his stutter.

   "Thank you." I said with a grateful smile.  I must've looked like a
giddy little girl.

   "Uhm...no problem.  And thank you too."

   "What for?"

   "Well you know...getting n...letting us see...uhm...very nice things."

   "Nice things, huh?" I purred, hungry to hear more.  "Like what?"

   Liang had lost any ability to speak.  He had never seen even a millionth
of this purring, feline looking girl that was possessing his friend's body.

   "Uh...well...you know...your...well your...your b..."

   I arched my back forward and looked him in the eyes.

   "My boobs?"

   He gulped all the saliva in his throat.

   "Hmm...yeah..."

   I leaned closer towards him.

   "What was so nice about them?"

   "Well...I...well you know, you have pretty...pretty big boobs...and they
look really nice with nothing on them."

   "Did you like them?"

   "Hm hm."

   I giggled.  It was as though I was petrifying the poor boy.

   "Shame on you!" I jokingly exclaimed.  "You know it's very impolite to
look at a girl's boobs?"

   He began stuttering like a madman.

   "I'm-m-m-s-sorry, really, I-I-I-I won't do it again!"

   "Well.  You'll have to, eventually." Just thinking about it made my head
spin.  If he told me right there and then to strip, I would've done it. 
"Alright" I said, "I'm going to my math class."

   He seemed almost relieved.

   "Ok then, bye."

   "Hey, wait there.  You didn't give me a hug."

   As we hugged, I let the warmth in my body take hold of me, and it had me
push myself against him closer than I ever did before.  My breasts pressed
against his chest.  I knew he could feel all their volume.  The hug was as
intimate as those shared by lovers.  Still in that embrace, I brought my
face at an inch of his and gazed at him with feline confidence.  I said
nothing, instead letting my breath shuffle on his lips.  That's when I felt
a hardness against my legs.  I was giving him an erection.

   A realization hit me.  The previous day, when I had been sweating
against a metal chair as the cuffs held my nude body to it...  I had been
so lost in my own arousal that I had forgotten that...  That the boys
must've felt it too...

   The notion itself was unbelievable.  My friends, my buddies, my pals I
had known since we were acne ridden, barely teenage highschoolers, with
whom I spent my social life with...  I had caused their cocks to harden.  I
had managed to do what they always referred to when speaking of those
beautiful models in erotic sites.  I had managed to generate this sort of
fire in their bodies...

   I should have felt horrified and yet, I could only think of the immense
power this represented.  With a single act of stripping nude, I had
influenced the minds and bodies of a whole group.  That...that was power...

   I retreated from the intimate embrace and smiled him goodbye.  I knew
that he had been hard, and he knew that I knew.  Our silence on the matter
made it delectable.  Fuck me, I was aroused again.  I forgot all the shame
and anger that had awakened with me in the morning, and instead my now
joyful mind focused on the mirth I got out of my conversation with Liang.
The friend who had been my first teammate in high school projects, with
whom I went to the local ice cream shop almost every day of the summer,
with whom I spoke of the multiple crushes I had on guys...  That same
friend just told me I was equipped with a sexy naked body and nice breasts.

   I ordered my arousal to calm down and sat down in my math class next to
Joseph, Harry, Ian and all the rest of the guys whom I knew as my "math
class buddies".  As the class went on, I thought of how different their
presences felt compared to that of my gang, the day prior when I had been
nude.  Speaking with clothed beings while being deprived of that advantage
had conferred to the presence of the boys such gravity, such importance
that at no moment I had been able to forget they were there, looking at me.
Their very being next to me had felt like a constant touch, a continuous
caress all over my skin.  I had been feeling their auras like hands
fondling me.  I had been able to FEEL their presence with my very skin.

   In the math class though, there was naught but boredom.  The presence of
the boys was devoid of any importance, any feeling, any electricity.  They
were only exterior bodies disconnected from mine.  A strange truth seemed
to be dawning on me as a result of having been seen as I had been born; I
was discovering the boredom of modesty.  My math buddies had never seen my
body, and thus, there was no invisible charge to be felt, no knowledge to
be shared in silence.  There was nothing at all.

   The day passed and with it my ruminations.  As I went into my bed to
begin my sleep, I decided that I had come to an interesting conclusion: a
nude presence was a variable so strong in nature that it had a
transformative power, and could infuse an element as small as a mere look
with unimaginable energy and power.  I was beginning to see the genius in
Sarah's idea.

   It was with that fascination that I woke up the next day and went back
to college.  That day was acting class again.  I couldn't escape facing the
class any more.  In order to avoid the terrifying prospect of entering an
already full class and having thirty heads simultaneously turn to me, I
took an earlier bus than usual and went into the Quarters thirty minutes
before the start of class.

   I entered what we considered our second home and walked through it's
emptiness, looking at the numerous antiquities which decorated the place.

   "Good morning Jade."

   Surprised, I turned around.  It was Sarah.

   "Hey.  I didn't see you there."

   "I was in the costume room.  The new costumes for this year's play
arrived this morning, finally.  You'll all be very happy, the quality's
superb, even though I think they didn't need to be this expensive."

   "At least my part saves money on costumes..."

   "About that, come take a seat, we'll talk."

   We sat in the Circle.

   "Thanks" I said, taking the cup of tea she was offering me.

   She sat down and looked at me with this ever present smile.

   "So, how did it go the other day?  Tell me everything."

   "It was...wow, it was amazing.  I never felt anything like that before.
It was as if I was feeling the combined stares and presence of thirty
people, you know?"

   "Which group had the strongest effect on you?  The boys or the girls?"

   "The boys, definitely the boys.  Not only that they're my friends
but...god, there was something else.  It's the fact that they're men, and
that I'm a girl...and that I was the only one naked.  The imbalance you
know?"

   Interest gleamed in Sarah's stare as she leaned towards me.

   "Imbalance," she repeated.  "Interesting.  Tell me more about that
imbalance."

   "Well it felt incredible, like multiplying everything by a thousand. 
Like, imagine if it was seven boys and seven girls and all of them were
naked.  Well there's no more nudity is there?  I mean there is, but it
quickly becomes sort of forgotten since that's the norm, since everyone's
not wearing clothes, so really, the nudity loses all it's importance;
that's the whole idea nudists have been trying to push for decades.  But if
it's only one girl against seven boys and she's the only one naked, then
she's totally disadvantaged.  She's "more" naked.  That's how I felt.  More
naked, more vulnerable, more disadvantaged."

   Sarah's pondered voraciously on my thoughts.

   "Very interesting.  Yes, very.  You see, originally the idea of having
you nude among clothed men was just a visual cue, a tool if you will.  Like
a close-up in a movie, the point was to attract all the attention on you so
people knew it was about female sexuality and not sexuality as a whole.  It
was more of a device than anything else, but what you're saying here makes
me realise there can be so much more to it...imbalance, inferiority, even.
You've emphasized something with a lot of potential, Jade.  Build on that
theme of imbalance, all right?  The play will be a sequence of chapters
with no dialogue, only actions.  Talk with the boys and act out scenes
that'll evoke this feeling of yours, for example you try to pick up your
clothes but the boys don't let you.  It's that simple."

   "Alright, but they'll have to imagine me naked."

   "You'll be clothed today?"

   "Yeah.  And all the other days too.  I'll rehearse naked one last time
before the play, but that'll be it."

   "As you wish.  But remember, feeling the sexual tension for real is the
only way to properly construct those scenes."

   I froze.

   "Sexual tension?  Why do you say that?"

   She laughed as she got up to leave.

   "Now, now Jade, you don't actually think that nothing's going on in your
pals minds when they look at you naked, do you?  Trust me, that body of
yours is something to enjoyed."

   She hadn't left yet when another feminine presence popped out of nowhere
and sat itself down angrily next to me.

   "What the fuck Jade..." Isabel's words and stare were charged with rock
hard rage.

   "Uh...hi?"

   "What the fuck?" She repeated.  "Would you care to tell me exactly what
the fuck you're doing?"

   "Doing what?"

   "Doing the sluttiest thing any girl in this program ever heard of!  You
stripped naked in front of seven guys all casually like it was a fucking
picnic!  And not just any guys; your fucking friends!" Chanel was right. 
Isabel was everything but pleased.  I brought my head down, shamefully. 
"Don't you have any shame?!"

   "I do, more than you think, believe me."

   "Then why in the name of fuck are you doing this?"

   I couldn't tell her the truth.

   "Look, Sarah's a good friend and she did a lot for me.  It wouldn't have
been fair to turn her down after two years of her being so nice to me."

   "Losing your dignity to thank someone who was paid to do her job as a
teacher seems a fair exchange to you?!"

   "Look, I swear I'm not making this into a habit.  I'll only rehearse
again in my...costume in May.  Then I'll do the play and that'll be the
last time I'll ever do ANYTHING like that, I swear it Isabel.  I'm not a
slut, you know me."

   My words did nothing to soothe her anger.

   "You can do it as rarely as you want, but nothing will ever change the
fact that they saw your body.  Every time you'll hang out with them,
they'll know everything that's underneath your clothes, and that's never
going away.  Don't you feel ashamed about that?  Why do you think a true
woman only lets her boyfriend see her naked?"

   "I don't know Isabel..."

   "Yes you fucking do, we talked about it a million times.  Why?"

   I sighed.

   "Because it's something that deserves to be earned.  It shows that as a
woman you have value and deserve to be fought for."

   "Bravo then, congratulations.  Wow.  I would be disgusted by a girl
who'd strip naked for some guy she just met in a bar, but you?  These are
your FRIENDS Jade!  They've known you and respected you for years and now
you've just sexualized the only girl in the gang.  Do you realize how
hurtful that is to basic rights of women?"

   She got up, seemingly done with her scolding me.  Terrified, I jumped up
and grabbed her arm.

   "Hey!  You're not gonna start hating me now are you?  I'm gonna kill
myself if my big sister doesn't like me."

   The words softened her up, and she took my hand.

   "Of course not," she sighed.  "I love you sis, you know that.  It's
just...  I'm a little mad at you.  This really isn't right, this isn't YOU,
but I guess...  I guess you have a right to experience one artistic madness
in your lifetime.  I'm just worried that this is what you'll become.  Jade,
you're beautiful.  If you ever do become an actress, they'll do everything
to typecast you in sexualized roles.  I don't want that to happen to you."

   "It won't.  This isn't who I am."

   She smiled and hugged me.

   "I love you baby sis."

   "I love you too."

   As we sat down, thankfully reconciled, the Quarters began to populate. I
held my head as low as possible so my sight would block everyone around me.
A quick glance proved what I feared, everyone was looking at me.  I didn't
even dare look at the boys, but the girls...they looked almost as if a
magical creature had been bestowed to their sight.  I knew not what to see
in their eyes, which showed they themselves did not know what to think of
me.  The only term I can use is fascination, and even then, I didn't know
towards what emotions, positive or negative, this fascination leaned.

   To my relief, Sarah began to speak, attracting at least part of the
class's attention.

   "Good morning everyone, I won't have to talk a lot today, thankfully. 
The only big news is, the costumes are here.  You're free to look at them
and try them on.  Otherwise, today's schedule will be divided in two parts,
we'll spend most of the day up until 4 just like last day.  I've spoken to
some of you and you're very much on the right track for finding good ideas,
so keep on going.  Then, we'll take a break and relax with some
improvisation matches, you'll be able to warm up your acting a little. 
Good?  Let's go then."

   The same two groups as last time coalesced to their respective corners
of the Quarters, the girls on one side, and the boys and I in the other.  I
sat down and held my body tight, hoping that perhaps I could make it small
enough to disappear from their sight.  The attempt proved to be futile, as
I could see them constantly looking across the whole of my body.  They were
even gazing at my breasts, or more accurately, the large, round shape that
suggested them when seen from outside my clothes.  That had never occurred
before, yet they were now shamelessly setting their eyes on the
more..."aesthetic" parts of me.

   A virile, musky scent appeared behind me along with a strong pair of
arms which wrapped around my shoulders.

   "Hi sweetheart," Alex said, hugging me from above.

   "Hi there."

   "I didn't you see at my house yesterday.  Why didn't you come?"

   "Ah, yeah...  Listen, I was afraid it would have felt awkward.  You
know? After, uhm..."

   He smiled and held me even tighter, then left a kiss on my cheek.  I
loved feeling his harsh skin against the cream like softness of mine.

   "Well I'm not feeling any awkwardness now," he said.  "Are you?"

   I smiled back and wrapped my arms around his.

   "No I'm not."

   "You see?  Stop being so worried then."

   "I will, promise."

   "So...you're not naked today?"

   Finally.  I knew I couldn't escape the subject any longer.  It made
sense that Alex would be the one to break the ice.

   "No.  I'll only be one last time in May, before the play."

   "Oh.  Alright."

   I looked up at him, still imprisoned in his embrace.

   "What?  You sound disappointed."

   "Well, I won't hide that I am a little."

   I raised my eyebrows, a playful air on my face.

   "Really?  Just a little?"

   "Yeah.  Just a little."

   "I know it when you lie, Alejandro..."

   "All right," he chuckled.  "I'm very disappointed."

   There was so much playfulness in how he spoke...  I started, perhaps
unconsciously, to lightly brush his forearms with my fingers.

   "Would you want me to be naked more?"

   "I only want what makes you comfortable."

   "I know, I know, but if you could choose?"

   "I told you, I want you to do what you feel is best."

   I groaned, and removing his arms, turned around to kneel on the chair
and face him.

   "Enough about me, Alex.  Come on, just for once, tell me what YOU would
want."

   He thought for a bit, then smiled another of those rare, confident
smiles that I always jealously watched him give to other girls.

   "If I could have it my way...well..." He thought again...  And stopped.
No words came out of him.  His smile evaporated and he regained his usual,
sterner self.  "I just want you to feel comfortable.  Do it one last time
in May and then during the play.  Anything more would be to objectify you."

   "And you don't want that?"

   "Of course not.  You're my best friend."

   I sighed, disappointed.

   "Whatever..."

   Still leaning against the backrest with my knees on the chair, I turned
around and saw how the boys were looking at my butt that was pretty much
presented to them.  I gave them an arrogant expression.

   "You can be more subtle if you want to look at my ass." I said.

   I expected them to stiffen like Liang had the day prior, but Ari just
shrugged casually.  Interesting, I thought.  They were acting less
terrorized than last time.  I sat next to Ari and punched his shoulder.

   "Let's play tonight," I said, "I just unlocked new weapons."

   "Finally, took you months."

   "Screw you.  You're still my bitch when it comes to duels."

   "Pardon me if I wasn't gaming since I was four.  Some people have lives
you know?"

   "Hah, I hate you sometimes."

   "Really?"

   "Nah, I love you bro."

   "Thanks, I was almost getting suicidal.  By the way, can you help me
study for my science exam?  I can't understand shit."

   "Fine, fine.  What would you do without me man?"

   "Commit suicide, most probably."

   As we laughed, Chris called me.

   "Dude, I've a date tonight but I'm sort of short on money.  Can you pass
me ten bucks?"

   I feigned sighing as I took the money out of my wallet.

   "Here, haven fifteen.  And you better pay me back this time, or else..."

   "What?  When did I ever not pay you back?"

   "That time we went to see the Avengers, maybe?"

   "Oh, yeah...  Sorry."

   "Better pay up, or you'll be sleepin' with the fishes."

   Hugo intervened :

   "Where was that from again?"

   "Umm...  Narnia?" I answered, having forgotten myself.

   Sodden laughed.

   "You're shittier than my mom at remembering movie lines."

   "Hey!  Fuck you asshole."

   "Fuck YOU, asshole."

   "I fucked your mom."

   "I know, that's why she has syphilis."

   So our conversations went.  I won't deny that their intellectual level
was on par with that of early high school idiots.  That's when, in the
midst of one those aggressive, classic "guy" conversations, Ari turned to
me with a quieter air to him.

   "By the way Jade..."

   "Yeah?"

   "You have a great ass, just wanted to let you know."

   I let my expression say : did you just say that?

   "Thank you," I meowed shyly, humbled by the compliment.  My face was
already red.

   After that, no words followed, for they needed not to.  Instead, I let
the arousal settle in, and that newly discovered power of their presence
subjugate me to a constant receptivity to the electricity that travelled in
the room.  The boys kept on conversing, I was silent.  Why not?  That
silence was a conduit through which travelled all my feelings.  I looked
over to Isabel.  She had set her eyes on me like an overseeing guardian. 
You promised her, I thought.  So what?  My decisions were mine.  Whatever
consequences they had affected only me.

   Fuck it, I decided.  The warmth in me was so strong that again it swept
away the chains of ethic.  I looked at Alex.  Damn his chivalrous attitude.
If I truly was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, then he had to
yearn for the sight of my naked body as much as I yearned giving it to the
boys.  I got up and went to an isolated corner of the Quarters.  My friends
had a full view of from there.  After taking a long breath for courage, I
removed my shoes, socks, jeans, shirt and underwear.

   Thirty seconds later, I was sitting down totally nude whilst casually
browsing the internet on my cellphone.  I made sure to sit with my sides to
the class, for I wanted the boys to see my body from another angle.  When I
turned my head, I saw every single person in the Quarters looking at me. 
Calm down, I told myself.  I breathed hard and pretended to go back to my
casual attitude, knowing that my buddies had their sights on me.  The girls
began whispering among themselves, most probably insulting me under their
breaths.  I didn't care.  As time went by, I noticed that the boys too were
leaning towards each other to whisper things.  Lacking the feminine
subtlety of the rest of the class, they whispered loud enough that I could
pick up parts of their conversation.

   "...amazing..."

   "...her fucking legs man..."

   "...is she really doing this?  I didn't know she was like that."

   "I don't think she knew it either..."

   "Fuck man, those tits...she has perfect tits..."

   I had never heard them speak so.  At least of me; sometimes they would
compare passing bodies in the halls, but that was the first time they spoke
of me...as a girl.  I looked over to them, and their naughty, almost
pervert smiles as they got together to comment on my body; reducing me to
that, a sexy naked body, sexualizing me, objectifying me.  It was the
classic situation of the bunch of boys commenting on a woman's body.  But
that woman was their friend.  Their close buddy.  Five minutes before, I
had been conversing with them on an equal level, but now the boys were
irrevocably boys, and the girl was irrevocably a girl, and in this macho,
sexist context, I was completely separated from them, becoming my own,
singular entity.  It wasn't "us" anymore.  It was "them" and the girl.  Why
did I enjoy it so much if all it did was to separate me from them?  I
didn't know, nor for the moment, did I care.

   I got up, knowing that I was revealing all the front of me as I walked
towards the guys.  I sat again with them, this time crossing my legs and
keeping that feminine pose which Alex had liked so much.

   "Hey," I said like a shy little girl.  "I heard you and, well...  Here,
you can look at them better now."

   I passed my hand across my breasts to make sure they knew what I was
talking about.

   They smiled further, all looking down at my boobs simultaneously.  I was
such a slut, such an attention yearning slut...

   "I love your boobs Jade," Hugo said.

   I just giggled, dying from shyness, my face as red as a tomato.  I
couldn't believe they were saying these things!  The other day, they looked
ashamed to even look at me, now they stood right in front of me with hungry
looks and no shame in telling me things that most girls would give violent
slaps for.

   "I knew you looked good," Issa added, "but damn, not this good."

   "I know right?" said I jokingly.  "You're looking at Venus's sexy naked
body," and I proceeded to glide my hand across my neck, boobs and stomach
in the sluttiest possible manner.  The boys gave me a look of joyous
incredulity.  They couldn't believe what they were looking at.

   "Wow..." Ari laughed, flabbergasted.  "I mean holy shit Jade...I NEVER
thought you could be like this."

   "Like what?"

   "You know...This hot."

   Well I can be, handsome; my mind thought, and I repeated the blatantly
erotic gesture again just to cement the point.  I loved how the day was
going.  Both the boys and I had shed the discomfort as I had shed my
clothes, and now we all were charged with confident arrogance, but none
more than myself.  I got up and placed myself in the center of the circle
the boys formed.  Now my tits were on the same level as their eyes, and
thus on a perfect level.

   "So," I began eagerly, "let's talk Art shall we?" I made sure to turn
every few seconds so all the boys could enjoy my ass and the front of me.
My hands were placed cockily on my hips, that way I made sure my arms hid
nothing.  "How about for the first scene, we just establish the context? 
One totally naked girl for seven well clothed men.  You'll stand around,
all manly and cool in your tuxedos, and then I'll come in and start showing
you my body."

   I stopped to stand above Issa and looked down to him with a confident
smile, seductively and slowly slipping my fingers into his hair.  My plump
breasts almost touched his face, and my whole body was so close to him that
he could have grabbed my waist at any moment, and make me his.  Not only
would I have not uttered a single word of resistance, but if I had more
courage, I might even have asked him to.  Regardless, the glaring flirt
felt great.  "What do you think?" I asked him.

   "You look amazing naked," he breathed against my boobs.

   I laughed, giving him a light tap on the cheek.

   "I was talking about my idea for the scene you pervert!  Is THIS," I
gave my ass a light slap, "all you can think about right now?"

   "Yeah, sorry girl," Chris calmly said with his sights on my butt. 
"You're giving us something a little too interesting to look at."

   I didn't answer, for Chris's words had caused me to go silent.  What was
it exactly?  I couldn't put my finger on it, but something he had said
troubled me.

   Girl, I thought...He had just called me girl.  The boys had never called
me that before.  To them, I was either "dude" or "bro." For the first time,
Chris had employed a term which actually befitted me.  For some reason, it
felt amazing.

   Before I could respond, Sarah approached us.

   "Well Jade, I see you've changed your mind."

   Suddenly embarrassed, I left Issa's hair alone and retreated a few paces
from him.  From an exterior point of view, I must've looked like I was
begging him to fuck me hard.

   "Yeah," I answered.  "You know, I thought..." I looked at the boys and
smiled.  "I thought I could brighten the guys day up and give them a little
treat."

   Sarah seemed absolutely proud.

   "Very good sweetie, that's very nice of you!  How about you boys, Do you
like Jade's treat?"

   The boys nodded enthusiastically.

   "Oh yes, very!"

   "Absolutely!"

   Alex was the only one who remained still.  He had always been more
silent, always soft smiled and spoken, always harder to break.  That's what
gave him this attractive elegance.

   "So," Sarah continued, "did you figure out any ideas?"

   "Yeah, I was telling the guys about a first scene where we could clarify
the context.  It would just be them standing around still, and then me
walking around.  The fact that they're clothed and I'm not would be enough
to make it interesting."

   "Fascinating, even, because it's so unusual.  Show me how you'd do it
then."

   The boys got up and stood around me.  From the corner of my eye, I
looked at the girls.  Even with the little amount of visual information I
was receiving, I could sense a great deal of frustration on their part.  To
hell with them.  I was having a tremendous amount of fun.

   I began walking between the boys, going back and forth through these
little routes their positions created.  I did it slowly, knowing that
theatrical walking was never true walking, either in speed or in form.  For
the latter, Sarah helped me.

   "Remember," she said, "the key to all this is the contrast.  Many men,
one woman, the many are clothed, the one isn't.  You need to reinforce the
contrast in the way you walk.  Look at the context, how those different
elements work together.  What do you feel out it all?"

   I observed my friends, studying their posture, their appearance...

   "Well, they feel strong.  They feel manly and powerful, because the only
woman in this microcosm is completely naked.  It makes them stronger, and
it makes me weaker, more vulnerable, more fragile.  I feel...it's weird,
but I feel more feminine.  I feel VERY feminine, like I can't escape the
fact that I'm a woman."

   My nipples were getting hard as I verbalized my situation.

   "Good," Sarah said.  "You've touched on an important aspect, that of the
microcosm.  What is this world exactly?  It's a space where the two genders
exist in their purest, most raw form.  What are the traditional attributes
of manhood?  Strength, power, firmness, solidity.  You've said exactly
those things about the boys.  And what of womanhood, what are it's
traditional attributes?  Grace, elegance, fragility, an aerial sense of
being.  There's already much of it in the one sided nudity, since you're at
the mercy of the men; you're weaker and vulnerable and fragile.  This is
what you must embody in how you move.  Femininity."

   "How do I do that?"

   She placed herself behind me and I felt her fingers on my shoulder's
exposed skin.

   "Here, raise your shoulders slightly.  Good, that's it.  See how it
makes your body look more elegant?  Do the same with your legs when you're
standing, always have one feet with only the toes touching the ground.  And
when you're sitting, always do it on the tip of your toes.  It's a very old
method used by artists for centuries, it causes the legs to be elongated
and the body to look more graceful, because your weight becomes
redistributed upwards instead of crushing downwards.  Good, good, that's
it. Now there's still one last element to correct.  Know which one?" I
shook my head.  Sarah pointed to my chest.  "These, arguably the most
important part of all.  Breasts are the clearest, strongest symbol of
womanhood, especially in your case, since yours are simply superb and their
size makes them very manifest.  Don't be shy, expose them even more." She
placed herself behind me, and pushed my back forward with her fingers. 
"There, arch your back, show your breasts to your friends.  You want them
to see as much as possible, don't you?  Go on, tell them."

   I brought out my chest and looked at my buddies.

   "Please look as much as you want guys.  And don't hesitate to ask if you
want me to change my position for a better view.  It's my pleasure,
really."

   "Good girl," Sarah said.  "Now go on, act the scene out."

   I began walking slowly between the boys, every step long and feline, my
bare feet taking moments to touch the ground before the other step came in.
My shoulders stood high and proud, my toes alone touching the cold ground,
elevating my legs as if I wore heels, and my breasts were brought outwards
proudly.  I walked in front of the men, bringing out my chest before their
eyes saying "look, look" with every subtle move.  I strode slowly with the
air of a Persian cat, and I wouldn't have been surprised to have been
purring myself.

   I stopped at every boy to change my posture and movement a little bit. I
raised my head arrogantly and smiled at Ari, then glided over to Hugo and
turned in a dance like manner to show him my ass, swaying my hips slightly
in the process.  Moving ever slower and sensually, I stopped before Liang
and placed my two hands against his chest, looking him into the eyes in the
most eloquent of silences.  I bid him to look down with my blue eyes, and
he did, savouring the sight of my breasts so close to him they almost
rubbed his clothed chest.

   The warm winds of the room made move me over to Sodden and make me go
even further, this time moving my hands against his torso in the most
blatantly seductive way.  I let my fragile fingers caress his neck, and
then standing on the tip of my toes to reach his face, placed my lips
slowly against his cheek to leave a long, sweltering kiss there.  Save for
Alex, I had never kissed my buddies on the cheek.  And here I was doing it
with not a single piece of clothing on me.  What was happening to me?  My
arousal seemed to transform into a shameless being.  I went to Alex, and
biting my lip, swayed my body slowly before him as my hands sensually
caressed my bare body, feeling the silk like skin of my hips, my shoulders,
my neck, my breasts...  I quickly realized I was about to go lower and rub
my wet pussy.

   I stopped.  What I was doing bordered on pornography.  It was absolutely
and blatantly sexual to the point where, this time, looking at the girls to
see their horrified expressions, I actually shared in their feeling.  I
turned to Sarah, expecting shocked and outright refusal.  Instead I found
her smiling proudly.

   "I knew you were the perfect pick for the part.  Alright then, let's
start doing some improv now, shall we?  Make four teams of seven to eight
people as always, let's go."

   Just like always, our gang formed it's own team as the girls split up
into three different groups.  The four teams sat in front of the stage; I
noticed Isabel was sitting on the farthest end of the class, as away from
me as possible.  I didn't care.  I was naked and surrounded by my clothed
buddies, nothing else mattered in my blood pumping, horny head.  Sarah had
the first team go up on the stage, and gave them "After a car crash" as
subject.  What followed was a humorous situation where the crash victims in
heaven scolded their driver for driving drunk, followed by a finale where
St.  Peter, exhausted by the constant noise, sent the dead to hell for some
peace.

   I noticed that as I laughed, Alex made sure to look at my breasts,
contemplating how they shook with my laughter.  After a few minutes of my
oscillating chest being under constant watch by him; I had enough and sat
myself down in front of him, shaking my tits right before his eyes like a
total slut.

   "There," I said.  "Why not ask for a better view if you can get one?"

   He looked dumbfounded.

   "Did you...did you just shake your boobs?  This is...this is SO not you
Jade..."

   "Is that a bad thing?" I blurted, suddenly afraid.

   He looked down at my body, sighing.

   "It's the best possible thing."

   I giggled.

   "You pervert..."

   And I made sure to sit as Sarah had told me, with my toes against the
ground and my whole body elongated.  I wanted my friends to have the best
view they could have.  I wanted so badly to please them with my nudity. 
Judging by the bulge in their pants, I probably wasn't failing at the task.
Another team did their improv on the subject of "light," and the other on
that of "wheels in the rain." That's when our turn came, and we went up the
stage.

   "Your team's subject will be..." Sarah took out two small papers from
the subject box.

   "Employee's dance.  You have thirty seconds to prepare."

   Rapidly, we converged into a tight circle.  Liang and Sodden crushed my
body from both sides, and I could feel their clothes against my skin.

   "What the fuck do we do with that?" Hugo asked, as always quickest to
panick.

   Alex and I listened as the others debated.

   "That's a pretty abstract subject."

   "The dance part can be metaphorical."

   "No, I think it has to be literal.  The team with the wheels in the rain
went literal, remember."

   "Alright, so how about this?  A bunch of employees are dancing in their
office for New Year's Eve and we just go from there."

   "Yeah but...what about Jade?"

   All the guys turned to me.  Fuck, how were we going to rationalize a
naked female in the midst?  Just ignore it?  That's when a bulb lit above
my head.

   "I know!" said I.  "Listen, you guys will be sitting down.  You're going
to be the heads of the office, you know?  The serious, classy gentlemen
type.  Just sit, I'll deal with the dance part."

   "What?"

   "Shut the fuck up and do as I say Sodden!  Go on!"

   Sarah declared our thirty seconds done and the guys sat down on the
stage's chairs.  They began muttering business mumbo jumbo while I had went
behind the "door"; a mobile, two panel contraption in the back of the stage
which faced the audience and allowed the illusion of someone entering the
scene.  I made sure the stereo speakers were still at their usual spot
around the front of the stage.  We used them to easily broadcast music by
connecting our phones to them.  I took a deep breath.  I didn't know why I
had this idea or why I was doing it, all I knew was that my instincts
pushed me to do it.

   I knocked on the door.

   "Who is it?" Issa asked.

   "Mrs.  Jane, your secretary."

   "Enter."

   I entered the imaginary "office" and stood in front of the sitting men.
One by one, they reacted with surprise to my presence.

   "Uh, Mrs.  Jane..."

   "Yes?"

   "Why are you..."

   "Naked?"

   Hugo's character was deeply insulted.

   "This is preposterous," he said, "this is totally inappropriate!"

   "Would you care to explain what's happening, young woman?" Ari asked.

   "Well," I began , "I've been asking for a raise for the past six months
now, but to no avail.  I did extra hours, extra work, I've improved my work
flow and made more money for the company and yet I still haven't seen any
more pennies than the meager salary I've been getting for the last three
years.  But you know what?  I understand, maybe all that extra work
actually doesn't warrant a higher salary."

   "And what is this...choice of clothing about, exactly?"

   "It's my last method for getting a raise.  After all, you spend the near
entirety of your lives in this company with no female contact but me.  It's
only fair that I should provide for your fun."

   I walked over to the speakers, connected my phone to them, and launched
the music.  The oriental drums began pounding in the speakers.  It was
music I had kept from my dancing classes.  Out of shyness, I had told no
one but Alex about my relative efficiency in the art of eastern dance.  The
moment was as good a time as any to finally reveal it.  Once positioned in
front of the men, I let the tribal rhythm enter every corner of my body. 
Not only was dance in my blood, I who descended both from Spaniards and
Caribbeans, but that music was no western, soft melody; it carried the
sensual, savage percussions of the east; a music meant for dance, and a
dance meant for every part of the body to move.

   As dictated by the quarter tone drums, my hips began moving with feline
arrogance.  A few beats later, and my whole naked body shook itself to the
slow, sensual rhythm.  I quickly looked over to the class.  The girls could
not believe what they were seeing.  Sarah on the other hand, was nodding
with interest in her gaze.  My buddies, on their part, looked at my
curving, moving nudity with hunger, for I was giving their eyes the truest
of feasts.  Swept by the erotic madness that had taken hold of me, I tore
away my hair-tie and let my wavy hair dance through the air.  I kept on
gyrating my hips, sending my lower body and ass into great circular motions
that followed the accelerating rhythm.  My hands constantly felt my dancing
nudity as I sensually caressed myself, smoothing along my breasts, my
shoulders, my hair, and this time I did it in a manner so blatantly sexual,
so unquestionably fiery that my actions earlier in the day when acting out
the scene now seemed like catholic rituals.  In that moment in time, I let
the fires of passion sweep me into this animalistic state.

   That's what I was, an animal, a bitch in heat.  I forgot all sense of
dignity and pride, I was no more than pure erotic energy, raw and wild.

   I placed myself in front of Hugo and danced barely a few inches in front
of him, lowering myself to meet his gaze then going back up in sexy,
circular motions.  I was sweating, sweating so much that caressing my body
felt just like wiping rain off a window.  I shook myself, touched my body,
sent my hair flying and my tits shaking with my mouth wide open to allow me
to breathe like a bitch in heat.  I turned around and swayed my ass right
in the faces of the boys.  I could not see their expressions, but I very
well saw that of the girls.  The fire in me was so great in that moment
that I locked my gaze unto that of Chanel and Isabel, defying their
disdainful, criticizing looks by exaggerating every motion and every pass
of my hands across my glistening, almost wet body.  The music was loud,
it's rhythm faster than the pounding of the earth by rain drops in a summer
storm.

   I threw myself on all fours right before Alex, forsaking any and all
sense of hubris, any pretense of dignity, I moved myself on all fours like
a bitch, looking up at him with yearning for his gaze.  All the while I
shook my ass nicely for the boys behind me, and kept on going for what
seemed like an eternity.  Rivers of sweat streamed across my exposed skin
and fell below me, and my hair was as wet as after a shower and covered my
face.  I was going out of breath, but kept on putting more energy in every
movement.

   Finally, the music stopped, and so did my dance.  Naked, glistening with
sweat on all fours, I looked up at the clothed men above me and smiled.

   "So," I whispered, "am I getting that raise?  Or do I have to go for
blowjobs too?"

   Before any answer was heard, Sarah thanked us and announced the class
was over since it was 4.  The girls packed up and left hastily, as if
wanting to escape the disgust I was causing them.  During all that time, I
did not move an inch, instead enjoying how the males towered over me in
clothing, in sitting and manhood, whilst I lay similar to a bitch with
nothing to cover me except for the glistening of sweat in my irrevocable
womanhood.  I was still looking up at Alex.  The latter leaned to me,
wiping sweat from my hair and cheek with a tender caress.  His hand still
on my hair, he asked :

   "Are you tired baby?"

   "Hah.  A little, yeah."

   "That was...that was amazing.  You're a superb dancer Jade."

   "Thank you."

   For some reason, I didn't want to get up.  Being nude on all fours like
that pleased me in a way I could not describe.  Unfortunately, the end of
the day had come, and thus I had to return to my clothes.  I bid the gang
farewell and followed Alex to his house.  The exhaustion resulting from my
vivid dancing made me fall into my best friend's arms as soon as we entered
his home.

   "What is it?" he asked as I nuzzled against his chest on the couch.

   "I'm exhausted.  Just hold me."

   "Alright", he laughed, hugging me tighter and leaving a kiss on my head.
"You were incredible today, you know?  I've never seen you look this
beautiful".  I raised my head to look at him, perhaps to ensure myself that
he wasn't lying.

   "Really, you were absolutely stunning."

   Despite my immense fatigue, I managed to conjure up the energy for a
sarcastic smile.

   "It's easy for you to enjoy something when that something is your best
friend dancing totally naked for you."

   "Don't forget that this best friend is beautifully sweaty and that she
also has a great body."

   We giggled.  Though my buddies talking to me in an objectifying manner
was beginning to lose it's shocking property, I still enjoyed the arousing
punch it caused me.

   "So," he continued, "I guess you changed your mind.  About getting
naked."

   "Hmm.  Yeah.  I suppose I want to do it more than what I originally
planned.  You're not mad at me, are you?"

   "Why would I be?"

   "Well you know...  Don't tell me I wasn't sexualizing myself there, you
know that I was.  You said you didn't want that to happen."

   He hugged me closer and looked me straight in the eye.  Whenever he did
that, there was always a lesson or a teaching to follow.

   "You know Jade, I might have been wrong.  I only want what makes you
happiest, you know that.  But the thing with those last days is...  Well,
there seems to be a part of you no one knows about.  Not even yourself. 
And maybe discovering more of that part will help determine what makes you
happy."

   At that moment, I remembered our exchange earlier in the day.

   "Alex?  What did you want to say today?  You know, about if you could
have it your way?"

   Alejandro always had a stern, protective air to him, but what made him
such a heartthrob was these occasional confident smiles which even the
greatest douchebags such as Isac failed to master.  He gave me one of these
smiles.

   "If I could have it my way...  You'd be forbidden to ever wear clothes."

   I smiled.  The idea was so hot.  There was such a sexist, macho aspect
to it, that as a woman I would be forbidden the wearing of clothes by a
man...  Isabel would've killed me if she knew it, but I found it so hot. 
That's when, thinking of this image of the dominant alpha and the nude
woman and simultaneously looking at this manliest of figures that was Alex,
the force of decision dawned in me again.

   "What is it?" Alex asked as I got up.  I didn't let him ask any more
questions, for as soon as I was up, I began stripping naked.  The Spaniard
gazed at me with confusion.  "Jade?  What the hell are you doing?"

   I put a finger against his lips and used my other hand to remove my last
articles of clothing.  My nudity felt totally different in this other
environment.  Now I was alone with Alex in his own house.  The intimacy of
the moment felt as strong as the public aspect of my college nudity, albeit
for different, and yet, equally powerful reasons.

   "I want to make you happy," I said with a smile, leaving for the kitchen
and coming back with a glass of iced cognac which I put in his hand.

   "Here, enjoy a drink while I give you a dance."

   "But why?"

   "Urgh, stop asking so many questions!  You're the man here and if I want
to make a man happy, I'll make a man happy, is that clear?"

   "Alright, alright.  It's just that...well it's really strange, Jade. 
Normally we're playing chess or video games not...  Now you want to dance
naked for me?"

   I shrugged.

   "You just said it, I have to discover more of that other part of me."

   He laughed, looking so alpha and macho as he sat on this couch with a
glass of alcohol whilst I stood naked for him, willing to please him
despite all the exhaustion in my body.

   "Very well then, let's discover more of you".

   The music began playing, with the man drinking and relaxing, and the
slut dancing and pleasing him.  It was going to be a fun evening.