Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. >The Girl at the Bus Stop by alan14 Copyright(C) 2021 by alan14 Chapter 37 Back home Katie took Lia upstairs, the rest of us convened in the kitchen. -Do I phone Helen now or tomorrow? - I asked as I put the coffee on. -I think Lia -(TM)s bewildered enough, she can meet Helen tomorrow, - Jenny replied. -I want to speak to her now, - Belle said, -I want to tell her we -(TM)ve got another sister, or is she just Katie -(TM)s girlfriend? - -That -(TM)s a good point, she -(TM)s not a sister because we -(TM)re not going to adopt her. I think we -(TM)ll let Lia decide who she is once she -(TM)s got used to us all. On the subject of Helen, go on Belle, phone her, but say we think she needs a quiet night. - Belle put her phone on speaker and dialed. -Hi Belle, what -(TM)s up, are you excited about school tomorrow? - -Hi Aunty Helen, I really am, but I -(TM)m more excited about something we did today? - -What have you done? - -We -(TM)ve found a new sister... - -What! - -Well. she might not be a sister, we -(TM)re not sure yet. We -(TM)ve found Lia, and she -(TM)s taken over your room. - -That really isn -(TM)t my room anymore, - she laughed, -but seriously, is she ok, do you need me to talk to her? - -We think she -(TM)s fine at the moment, Katie -(TM)s helping her settle in, if you know what I mean, we -(TM)re leaving them alone for a while. - -Interesting, so you -(TM)re going to be just two to a room from now on. - -For the foreseeable, yes. - -We -(TM)re going to let events take their course, - Jenny added, -if you -(TM)re free, you can pop round to see Lia tomorrow. She was a little wary of our motives this afternoon, so we -(TM)re taking it easy. - -Of course, I -(TM)m a little overpowering at the best of times. Unless you tell me otherwise I -(TM)ll pop round tomorrow evening. - -Is that Helen? - Katie called from the stairs. -Yes, she -(TM)s on the phone, - Belle replied. -Don -(TM)t hang up, we -(TM)re coming. - -Ahh, Katie and Lia are coming, shall we switch to Zoom? - -That -(TM)s a good idea, call me when you -(TM)re ready. - Poppy grabbed the nearest iPad, and once we were all in view of the camera Belle started the call. -You -(TM)ll love Helen, she -(TM)s Alex -(TM)s sister, she -(TM)s really clever, a therapist and a model. - -Interesting combination, - Lia replied. As Helen answered Poppy moved the iPad forwards so only Lia was in view. -Hey Lia, I -(TM)m Helen, the girls sometimes call me Aunty Helen, but just Helen is fine. - -Hi Helen, I -(TM)m Emily, Emily-Mae Jackson, but I prefer Lia. - -I -(TM)m very happy to meet you. I don -(TM)t know if anyone -(TM)s told you about me, I -(TM)m Alex -(TM)s little sister. I used to be a model, Belle and Poppy have my photos if you want to look, I -(TM)m not embarrassed about my past, well, I -(TM)m not embarrassed about all of it. Everyone makes mistakes now and then, the trick is to learn from those mistakes and not make them too many times. I -(TM)m here if you need me, I only live down the road and am happy to come running if you need someone to talk to. - -Thank you, Katie says our room is also your room, if you need it we -(TM)ll happily bunk with Poppy and Belle. - I saw Belle smile when Lia said -~our room -(TM). -And I -(TM)m sure they -(TM)ll be more than happy to bunk with you. I won -(TM)t tell you too much now, but bedroom arrangements are always flexible in that house. - -Katie hinted at something, and that -(TM)s something I need to talk to someone about. - -In person? - -Well, not in front of the whole family anyway. - -Ok, give me 10 minutes. Alex, open a bottle of wine. - The screen went blank. -Err, have I just made her come here? - -Don -(TM)t worry, this is what she does. She -(TM)s the only reason we -(TM)re still sane, or at least partly sane. - Belle dashed over to the wine fridge and pulled out one of Helen -(TM)s bottles, -while you chat I -(TM)ll start on dinner, does anyone have any requests? - -You did enough cooking last night, - Poppy replied, -why don -(TM)t we get a takeaway. - -I don -(TM)t mind cooking, honest. I love it. - -We know you do, - Poppy told her, -but tonight I want you to relax, and we -(TM)re having an early night. You don -(TM)t want to be tired on your first day at big school. - -Yes mum, - Belle said, not quite dripping in sarcasm as she wrapped her arms around her sister. Then she turned to Lia, looking at her new sister with her chin resting on Poppy -(TM)s head, -it -(TM)s your choice Lia, takeaway, or pick something for me to cook for 7 people. - -7 people? - -Yep, I -(TM)ll be feeding Helen, it -(TM)s the only reason she comes really, because she has to eat veggie at home, but she eats meat here when her girlfriend isn -(TM)t about. - -Hahaha, I like that. So Helen -(TM)s gay as well, is it just Alex and Jenny who are straight? - -What makes you think I -(TM)m straight? - Jenny replied with a very salacious smile. Lia grinned, -so what Katie hinted at before is true? - -Before I confirm or deny anything, what did Katie tell you? - -That you all sleep together, well, Katie sleeps with all the girls, Poppy and Belle sleep with Alex sometimes. - -Don -(TM)t forget Helen, - Belle said. -She sleeps with everyone, - Poppy added. -Everyone! - Lia cried, -Even Alex? - -It was an accident the first time, - I started to defend myself. -If you -(TM)re all happy I guess it -(TM)s fine. - -It -(TM)s our secret though, - Poppy told her, -nobody else knows. - -I guess it would be awkward to explain, anyway your secret is safe with me, especially if I feel like joining in some time - which isn -(TM)t guaranteed. - -And is definitely not required, or even expected, - Jenny told her. -Thanks, I appreciate that. After I -(TM)ve spoken to Helen, I think I -(TM)ll tell you my story, if I feel ready, - then she turned Belle, -and I -(TM)ve made my decision, Chinese please, kung-po duck with fried rice if they have it. - -Excellent choice, - Jenny said, -one of my favourites. - I reached for my phone, -I -(TM)ll order a banquet and make sure they include that. - Helen came in as I was ordering, -we -(TM)re ordering Chinese, can you stop, - Belle asked as she entered the kitchen. -I -(TM)ve had dinner already, but I -(TM)m sure I can squeeze in a couple of spring rolls, - she answered before turning to Lia, -hi Lia, I -(TM)m so happy to meet you, Katie was right, you are so very pretty aren -(TM)t you, shall we go in the lounge so we can talk in private. - Lia followed Helen into the lounge, Katie watched them until the door closed, -I hope she -(TM)s OK. - Poppy gave Katie a powerful hug, -hey, she can -(TM)t be worse than I was, and Helen -(TM)s gone a long way to fixing my head, and you helped more than you could possibly imagine. I can -(TM)t see why the same team won -(TM)t be able to fix anything that troubles Lia. - -You -(TM)re so much stronger than everyone else... - -I think it -(TM)s more that I was too stubborn to die, I just wanted to teach the bastards a lesson by not dying. - -Don -(TM)t put yourself down Poppy, you -(TM)re virtually indestructible. - -Whatever, Lia will be fine with you by her side. - -Mmm, on a slightly related note, what about tomorrow at school, can I pretend to be your girlfriend? I don -(TM)t want any rumours or gossip. - Poppy kissed Katie hard on the lips, they gasped as they pulled apart after a few moments, -you don -(TM)t need to pretend Katie, you -(TM)re still my girlfriend as far as I -(TM)m concerned, and you -(TM)re still Belle -(TM)s girlfriend. - As if on cue, Belle ran up and slid between them, standing on tiptoes she kissed Katie, a long kiss that had their arms roving over each other -(TM)s bodies. Poppy walked to the plate cupboard, -well, one of us needs to set the table, the chef and kitchen porter seem to be too busy... - she sighed. Jenny got up to help, -it -(TM)s ok mum, I -(TM)m only kidding, I can handle it ... Oh, we -(TM)ve still got the posh cutlery from next door, we -(TM)d best take everything back after school tomorrow. - -I -(TM)ll do it with Lia in the morning. - -Ahh, but what about the lady at number 16, Theresa was it, I don -(TM)t think you should be going there. We -(TM)ll do it straight after school before we do our homework. - -Thanks honey, always looking out for me. - -Ahh, - Poppy laughed as Belle arrived and took some plates off the worktop, -you -(TM)ve finished snogging Lia -(TM)s girlfriend finally. - -You said she was still our girlfriend... - Belle pouted. Poppy kissed Belle -(TM)s forehead, -she is, and I hope she never stops being our girlfriend. - -So do I, - Katie agreed as she opened the cutlery drawer, -only an idiot would lose you two. - Ten minutes later Lia and Helen emerged from the lounge, Belle gave them both a glass of wine. -I don -(TM)t drink, - Lia whispered as she accepted the glass. -We have Coke, and Dr Pepper. and Vimto, - Belle replied. -No, tonight I -(TM)ll have this, I suspect I might need a little Dutch courage after we -(TM)ve eaten. - -Just so you know, we -(TM)re the least judgy people you -(TM)ll ever meet. Some of the shit Poppy and Helen have told us would make your hair curl, yet we -(TM)ve never stopped loving them. - -Mmm, I -(TM)d quite like curly hair. - -I think you -(TM)re going to fit in here, Lia. - -I hope so, because I -(TM)m a little bit in love with everyone. - -Only a little bit? - Belle asked. -I already loved you Belle, - Lia replied, and she was rewarded with one of Belle -(TM)s best smiles. The gate buzzer sounded, Poppy ran for the door as I swiped the app to open the gate. -Oh hey, Neil isn -(TM)t it? - Poppy asked brightly when she -(TM)d opened the door. -Ahh yes, I knew you -(TM)d be staying, Alex is a lucky guy. - -You -(TM)re not going to believe how lucky he is, - she replied, -hey everyone, come and say hello to Neil, he brought our takeaway the first night I was here. - We joined Poppy at the door. -This is Jenny, Alex -(TM)s fianc(C)e and our mum, this is Belle, Katie and Lia, my sisters, and at the back, that -(TM)s Aunty Helen, Alex -(TM)s sister. So yes, I did stay, but not in the way you thought. - -Err, I didn -(TM)t mean anything by what I said before, honest. - Poppy reached out and took the bags of food and quickly kissed him on the cheek, -it -(TM)s ok Neil, I -(TM)m only teasing you... - Neil -(TM)s mouth dropped open as Poppy kissed him, so Belle slipped a £5 note between his lips and tapped his chin to shut his mouth. -See you later Neil, - the girls called as I closed the door. -That was cruel, - Jenny said as Poppy carried the food into the dining room. -I know, it -(TM)s because he sounded a bit sleazy that first night I was here, -~I bet she -(TM)s still here when I come next time -(TM) like dad had pulled me or something. - -He was right though. - -I know mum, that -(TM)s what annoys me most, he was right, I -(TM)m still here, I was even dad -(TM)s girlfriend for a bit, and that sleazy lad knew it before me. - -Are you upset, do you regret sleeping with Alex... - -Good god no, I loved sharing dad -(TM)s bed, and I love it even more when you -(TM)re both there. It -(TM)s just annoying that he knew it before it happened. Now he -(TM)s been put straight, we -(TM)re dad -(TM)s daughters, and he -(TM)ll go back and tell his friends -~you know the guy at number 20, you should see his daughters, gorgeous, every one of them. -(TM) They -(TM)ll be fighting to deliver our food. - -That -(TM)s brilliant, - Katie cried, -and I loved what you did Belle, that was so cool shoving the tip in his mouth and closing it like that. - -Ok, it -(TM)s official, - Lia called out, -you lot are so much fun, I -(TM)m staying, that is unless anyone steals my kung-po duck... - Poppy unpacked the bags and laid all the tubs out along the middle of the table, -ok newbie, here -(TM)s your food, feel free to help yourself to anything else, Belle eats enough for two people, so I -(TM)m assuming dad expected you to be the same and ordered extra. - -It -(TM)s a 10-person banquet, - I told them, -with extra spring rolls and pork dumplings. - -See, he -(TM)s been through the -~fattening-up the street kids -(TM) routine before. - The dining room was filled with happy chatter and laughter as we stripped the table bare like locusts, Poppy was right, Lia ate all her kung-po duck and had good portions of beef in black-bean sauce and chicken chow mein. -Holy shit, - Lia groaned as she sat back rubbing her belly, -I don -(TM)t ever remember being this full. - -We -(TM)ve got ice cream... - Belle told her, -lots of ice cream. - -I don -(TM)t even want to think about ice cream right now. I think I -(TM)ll have a little walk around the house, then I -(TM)ll tell you all my story. Do you want to give me the tour Katie? - Poppy and Belle went to work clearing the table, while we adults took the wine bottles and our glasses into the lounge. -So, what -(TM)s the verdict, - Jenny asked Helen as we settled onto the sofa. -Well, she -(TM)s not had a great time so far, as you -(TM)d expect from someone who -(TM)d rather freeze on the streets than go home. Her home life was in many ways worse than Poppy -(TM)s. At least Poppy had a mother who kind of loved her, and kept a roof over her head, and made sure she always had food and clothes... - -Oh god! - Jenny exclaimed, -how could Lia -(TM)s life be worse than Poppy -(TM)s. - -It -(TM)s hard to decide what -(TM)s better and worse in these appalling situations, and I -(TM)m sure neither girl will claim they had it worse when they find out each other -(TM)s pasts. -In Lia -(TM)s case, her mother disappeared when she was just starting secondary school, 7 or so years ago. No trace has ever been found of her, so we can probably assume she -(TM)s dead, and it will become clear who the main suspect is. -Once her mother was out of the picture there was no-one left in the family to protect Lia from her father and older brothers, who proceeded to anally rape her every day until she was finally taken into foster care a couple of years later. - -Holy shit! You said anally rape her, an 11 year old. - -Yes, only ever anally. Possibly because they -(TM)re catholics, and didn -(TM)t want to use birth control or risk pregnancy. So raping your daughter is fine, but not using birth control, you -(TM)ve got to love the twisted logic of god-fearing catholics. -Anyway, she was taken into foster care, and was happy for a few years, until her foster carers took in a second child, and for reasons she can -(TM)t quite explain, the relationship with her carers broke down, and social services in their wisdom sent her back home. - -Fuck, why do they do that? - -They felt the instigator of the sexual assaults... - -Rapes! - Jenny cried. -Yes, rapes, but Lia said they used the term sexual assaults, they felt that her oldest brother, Jayden, was the instigator of the ... rapes ... and now he was safely behind bars for killing a prostitute, she -(TM)d be safe. - -I -(TM)m guessing she wasn -(TM)t, - Jenny sighed. -And you -(TM)d be right. - -And I -(TM)m guessing Jayden is the prime suspect for mum -(TM)s disappearance. - -Right again, you should join the police. - -Oh fuck Helen, how is she? - -In the circumstances, she -(TM)s remarkably well. She -(TM)s spent the last 18 months since she ran away in quiet contemplation. She -(TM)s thought long and hard, she -(TM)s decided that nothing that happened was her fault, she didn -(TM)t invite the attacks, so they -(TM)re not her fault. -As crazy as it sounds, this is a huge step, most domestic abuse victims like this are told it -(TM)s their fault, and they -(TM)re told it so often they start to believe it, they somehow believe that an 11 year old who is anally raped by 4 men in one night is at fault. They -(TM)re to blame for flaunting their body. -Well, not Lia, she -(TM)s absolutely sure in her mind that she isn -(TM)t to blame for anything. -She is also certain that no man is ever going to touch her again, unless she instigates it, and to make sure of that she has studied a number of martial arts techniques. Any man who propositions her will suffer, and she says she has hurt several guys. -Finally, she is still technically a virgin. She -(TM)s saving her virginity for Mr Right, and at the moment she is absolutely certain Mr Right does not exist. She told me that she never thought of herself as gay, but she saw how much Poppy loved Belle when they were in the squat, and has been thinking about how tender lesbian love can be, so has decided to give it a try, she has never had lesbian sex, and I think one of us needs to warn Katie to take it slowly. - -I -(TM)ll do that, - Jenny volunteered, -put some quiet music on Alex and I -(TM)ll round up the girls. - I chose a Tangerine Dream album and set the volume low as Poppy, Belle and Lia arrived. -Mum wanted a word with Katie, - Poppy announced, -I hope she -(TM)s not fussing about school tomorrow, we -(TM)ve got Belle -(TM)s first day all planned. - -Every single minute of my day tomorrow is planned, - Belle sighed as she sat on the floor in front of Poppy, who wrapped her arms around her sister and pulled her in close. -It may seem a bit much, but sometimes girls can be horrible to each other, especially when a girl as stunning as you arrives on the scene. - -What about you, were any girls nasty to you? - -Not that I know of, but it was clear early on that I was with Katie, so I probably wasn -(TM)t after their boyfriends. - -So, why can -(TM)t people know I -(TM)m also your girlfriend? - -Well, it -(TM)s probably a bit taboo, having a three-way relationship, and if I -(TM)m honest, you -(TM)re just too fucking beautiful Belle, even if we do say you -(TM)re my girlfriend, nobody will believe it. - -That -(TM)s not fair, how can anyone be too beautiful to be gay? - -I -(TM)m probably just being too careful, but I -(TM)m worried that once the boys see you when they meet their girlfriends after school they -(TM)ll pounce on you. - -And I know just where to kick any boy that tries it on. - -I know you can defend yourself Scrappy Doo, but right now I -(TM)m trying to avoid trouble, I think we -(TM)ve had enough violence for one year. - -Ahh, yes, sorry. It -(TM)s not fair, how can I be too pretty? - -Just lucky I guess, well, I -(TM)m the lucky one, because you -(TM)re my girlfriend. - -And I -(TM)m lucky because Wonder Woman is my girlfriend. - Katie joined us and sat with Lia on the second sofa. -Is everything OK, - Poppy asked, -mum wasn -(TM)t hassling you about tomorrow? - -Oh no, everything -(TM)s fine. Mum wanted a chat about other stuff. - Jenny closed the door and sat between Helen and myself on the sofa. Lia had a sip of her wine, sighed deeply and started. -Ok, so despite knowing me for over a year, Poppy, you know very little about me, and I -(TM)ll explain why in a moment. First though, I have to thank you all for taking me in despite knowing almost nothing about me. -So, I -(TM)m Lia, I -(TM)m 18 and I -(TM)m from Wood Green. I have 10 GCSEs. I got the results by telephone as I -(TM)d already run away from home before the results came out. - -What grades did you get? - Balle asked. -I got 9 -(TM)s in Maths, English Lit and Physics, 8 -(TM)s in the rest. - Belle turned to face Poppy, -I told you she was clever didn -(TM)t I. - -How did you know I -(TM)m clever? - -You always listened so well, and you always looked like you understood everything we talked about, no matter what the subject. When you did speak you always told really good stories. - Lia looked at Belle as if she might know more of her secrets, -you -(TM)re pretty smart yourself, Belle. - This caused Belle to blush brightly, and she buried her face in Poppy -(TM)s arms. -I -(TM)m not sure if this is a good story, but it -(TM)s true. So, I -(TM)m the youngest of 4, my three brothers are 8, 7 and 5 years older than me, I suspect I was a mistake. My dad and brothers always made me feel like I was in the way, that I wasn -(TM)t worthy. To them females are only useful for two things, housework and sex. Mum disappeared about a week after I started high school. - Poppy gasped and automatically pulled Belle closer to her body. -They never found any trace of her, she either escaped the abuse so thoroughly she left no trail, or Jayden, my oldest brother, killed her. - -Why him in particular? - Helen asked. -He was the worst of them, and he killed a girl later, he -(TM)s in prison now, hopefully forever. So, yeah, as soon as mum was out of the way I was the only female left in the house with four men, so I got whatever she was getting, which was many bruises, a couple of broken ribs, a broken arm and fucked in the arse every single night. - -Oh fuck... - Poppy whispered. -So this went on for a few years. I went to school every day, I hid my bruises, even my broken ribs, I wrote a note for myself to skip PE, I always had good writing, the PE teacher thought it was from my dad. I didn -(TM)t make any friends, how could I? I couldn -(TM)t go to their house to play, they couldn -(TM)t come to mine, so not having friends was safest. -Other kids thought I was weird, some called me a freak, some tried to bully me, but whatever they said and did was nothing compared to what my own family did to me, bullying just didn -(TM)t work, so they gave up and ignored me. -I did my homework in the library after school and kept my books in my locker, then I -(TM)d go home to whatever fresh hell awaited me. -Ironically, it was when Jayden broke my arm that things improved. They all got pissed afterwards, so I left the house and walked to the 24 hour emergency walk-in clinic down the road. The doctor there was lovely, she saw my bruises and made me strip, she cleaned me up properly, marked all my injuries on a chart, then she fixed my arm up as best she could and phoned for an ambulance to take me to hospital where they put my arm in a cast. Then the social workers came and took me to a family who looked after me. The months that followed were the first time I ever remember being happy. I was there for a couple of years, until after I -(TM)d finished my GCSEs, then for some reason they sent me away. I don -(TM)t know what happened, we -(TM)d always got on so well. -Anyway, social services put me in a home for a few weeks, then the worst thing that could possibly happen, happened. -Jayden killed a girl, a prostitute, he beat her to death with his fists. -So social services decided he was obviously the one who abused me, therefore the rest of the family were fine, and so they sent me back. -They were so very very wrong. I didn -(TM)t even wait for the abuse to start again. As soon as the social workers left I legged it out of the back door and ran away. - Everyone was silent, letting Lia -(TM)s story sink in. Belle broke the silence, -you seem so calm, why aren -(TM)t you angry? - -Because I -(TM)ve spent the last 18 months thinking. My first few months on the streets were spent working out what happened to me. Whether I could have done anything differently. Who was to blame... -I eventually realised that I did everything I could to minimise the abuse, this didn -(TM)t amount to much, as the slightest infraction could trigger a beating. So I toed the line, did everything they demanded, and stayed silent while they raped me. I was 11 for fucks sake, Jayden was 19, dad was 6 foot 5, what could I do to stop them? - -I was fucking raging, right up to the point my mum died in my arms, and my treatment was nothing compared to yours. Why are you so calm? - -That -(TM)s down to the next few months. Once I was sure nothing was my fault I started to read. I spent days, weeks, months in libraries, reading everything I could find in books and online, interviews with abusers, with abuse survivors, interviews with serial killers, everything I could find to try to understand what happened. -Then I started to read about meditation, contemplation, and deep thinking. It -(TM)s surprisingly easy to park yourself in the corner of a tube station and slip into a deep trance and think about your place in the world. -After a few months of this deep contemplation I worked out that negative energy was useless, dangerous even. It just leads to a spiral of despair that helps nobody except the abusers, they -(TM)re making the victim -(TM)s life hell even after they -(TM)ve stopped the abuse. -I decided that the best way forward for me was to forget everything, it -(TM)s the past, nothing I can do can make my past better, so stop thinking about it. Never forgive them, no fucking way, but I put them out of my mind and from that point on my life has just gotten better and better, I -(TM)m at peace with the world and almost everyone in it. -And then today happened, and this extreme good fortune has given validation to all the work I -(TM)ve done on myself these past 18 months. - Again, we were silent for a few moments, this time Helen broke it. -I -(TM)ve never met anyone like you outside a monastery. I visited one here and one in Nepal as part of my psychology studies. I wanted to talk to people who -(TM)d reached inner peace through meditation. - -I had to, or I -(TM)d have burnt up with anger. - -Don -(TM)t you want them to pay? - Poppy asked. -What can I do? Who -(TM)d believe me? And seriously, I don -(TM)t want to spend weeks in court being accused of leading my brothers on. I was fucking 11 years old, but I -(TM)ve read court transcripts where lawyers have accused even younger girls of leading their fathers and brothers astray. - -There -(TM)s other ways to make them pay, - Jenny said quietly. -But ... you -(TM)re the police. - -And that -(TM)s why I know everything you -(TM)ve just said is true. Taking this to the police would just mean your life is dragged through the dirt. - -So what do I do? - -Nothing, beyond giving Jeremy permission to wreak vengeance on them. - -No, I don -(TM)t want anyone else involved. I -(TM)ve told you because you deserve to know who you -(TM)re taking on, nobody else needs to know. - Poppy nodded slowly, -I respect that, I really do. - -Besides, the last I heard, my other two brothers were in prison, one for raping a little girl, and I understand people like that don -(TM)t get treated well inside. - -Well, that -(TM)s something, - Jenny sighed, -I just hate that your dad is getting away with treating you and your mum so appallingly. - -He -(TM)ll suffer for what he did, I can guarantee that, he -(TM)s Catholic, and when he -(TM)s getting close to death he -(TM)ll shit himself, because he -(TM)ll know damn well he won -(TM)t be off to the good place. - -I love how at peace you are, - Belle said quietly, -I think we can all learn from you. - -I -(TM)m happy to help, there -(TM)s no major secret really, it -(TM)s not like the mystics in films who fast for days to achieve enlightenment, anyway they -(TM)re most probably hallucinating due to hunger, and we -(TM)ve all done that a few times, it -(TM)s not enlightenment, it -(TM)s starvation. -There -(TM)s something else I need to say before we turn in for the night. Something I need to thank Katie for in particular. - -What -(TM)s that? - Katie asked. -You were the first person to show me any affection since my mum disappeared, the first person to kiss me in years, and that -(TM)s something I -(TM)ll never forget. -Thank you, all of you, for being awesome. - -Do you mean that no-one had even hugged you? Not even the foster family? - Katie asked. -They were lovely people, but they weren -(TM)t loving, if you know what I mean. I always wondered if they worried that because I -(TM)d been raped I -(TM)d react badly to human contact, but they were so wrong, I wanted a hug more than anything in the world. - Katie threw her arms around Lia, and that was all she needed for the dam to break and the tears to come. Katie held her new girlfriend as she cried silent tears into her jumper. We waited patiently for Lia -(TM)s tears to dry up, the sudden silence that came with the end of the album brought her around, she sat up and lifted her top to wipe her face. She looked around the room and smiled, -mmm, that was nice, anyway, it -(TM)s late and Belle needs an early night apparently. Tomorrow I -(TM)ll show you how to meditate. - -I still feel angry at times, - Poppy said quietly, -I know I shouldn -(TM)t, everyone -(TM)s gone now, I -(TM)ve got a really good life now, so why do I lie awake some nights screaming inside? - Helen leant forwards and looked across at Poppy, -because you were treated appallingly for so long, there -(TM)s so many horrible things happened to you over the years that you can -(TM)t just switch off that anger and forgive everyone. - -That -(TM)s totally true, - Lia agreed, still wiping the tears from her cheeks, -you need to close off each hurt one at a time. It took me months to shut all the horrors away. I -(TM)ll show you how I did it, it -(TM)s not hard, there -(TM)s no major secret or anything. - -Yes please, I -(TM)d like to stop thinking about a lot of stuff. - -Look at the time, - Jenny announced, -it -(TM)s past 10, I think we -(TM)ll all turn in. - -And I need to be getting home, Nita -(TM)s got an early surgery tomorrow... - -Oh my, I shouldn -(TM)t have dragged you out if your girlfriend is going into hospital tomorrow... - -Oh sweetheart, she -(TM)s a doctor, she -(TM)s performing a minor surgery on someone in the morning. - -Ahh, I see, what kind of doctor is she? - -She -(TM)s a dermatologist, - Poppy broke in, -she treated all my bruises with some kind of potion, they all healed, she even managed to make my burns almost disappear. - -You had burns? - Lia asked. -Oh yeah, the time I was kidnapped and raped for three days, the guys decided to use me as an ashtray, I had so many cigarette burns on my boobs and belly. - -Oh god, no wonder you have trouble forgetting, it -(TM)s all so fresh and raw. - -Whilst I can -(TM)t remember everyone who passed through those few days, all the main players are dead now, and they didn -(TM)t die well. - -And it -(TM)s true Max killed them all? - -Not all of them, but she certainly put a lot of very bad people in the ground, and my mum... - -Oh my god, I didn -(TM)t realise that, I -(TM)m so sorry. - -It -(TM)s ok, honest, it really is. She was dying anyway, and if Max hadn -(TM)t tried to kill her I -(TM)d never have seen her again. Nikki would have just been one of the dozens of unidentified homeless people who die every week and are buried without a headstone. Because I spent time with her before she died I managed to learn so much about Nikki, and about my past, and some stuff that had always troubled me started to make sense, and I realised just how evil some people are. - -Did the deaths of those people give you closure? - -Not closure, no, I -(TM)m still angry about what they did, and angry that I wasn -(TM)t strong enough to fight them off... - Belle turned around on the floor and looked into Poppy -(TM)s eyes, -you were strong enough to survive. - -That -(TM)s true, - Lia replied, -and let me tell you, I quickly regretted the few times I tried to fight off my brothers. - -It still hurts my pride that I wasn -(TM)t able to do some damage to them, even if it would have meant I -(TM)d suffer more. - -Maybe I can help you with that as well, - Lia said quietly. -I hope so, and we can help you with the love and affection. - -That -(TM)s a fair deal, now I really think we should get to bed so Helen can go home. - -We should, come on Belle, let -(TM)s go, is your uniform out? - -Yes, because you put it out on hangers. - -Ahh, of course I did, sorry, I -(TM)m more nervous about your first day than I was about mine. - -It -(TM)ll be fine, I -(TM)m really excited, I just hope I -(TM)ve not fallen too far behind. - And with that the girls all paraded past, giving each of us a hug and kiss on the way past, Lia paused for a moment, thinking, before she hugged me nervously. Katie gave her hand a squeeze as they left the room. -Holy shit, - Jenny exclaimed after we were sure they were all upstairs, -I -(TM)ve honestly never heard anything so bad in all my days, and I -(TM)ve had to deal with some truly horrific shit in the past. - -She seems so stable though, - I replied. -That -(TM)s what struck me when I spoke to her earlier, she didn -(TM)t tell me everything she just told us, but what she did tell me sounded almost like it had happened to someone else, she was so detached. I think her personal therapy has either worked amazingly well, or one day the spell will be broken and we -(TM)ll have to deal with the fall-out. Either way, I -(TM)m here for her. - Jenny gave Helen a hug, -thanks again for coming to the aid of our waifs and strays. - -Honestly, it -(TM)s my pleasure, it really is. I -(TM)m learning so much while I -(TM)m helping them. And did you see Katie, she -(TM)s matured a lot in the last few days, and the look on her face when Lia said she was the first person to show her any love, my heart broke just then. You -(TM)ve got four very different girls who slot together perfectly, I feel fortunate to know them. - We watched from the gate until Helen was out of sight, then locked the house up and headed for bed. Upstairs the girls -(TM) doors were ajar with just their nightlights on, we looked in on Katie and Lia, they were lying facing each other, noses touching, Katie whispering something we couldn -(TM)t, and shouldn -(TM)t hear, we respected our girls -(TM) privacy above all else, we pulled the door closed. -Leave it ajar please, - Lia asked, -I don -(TM)t like closed doors. - I left it open a smidge, just enough for Lia to be able to see the nightlight on the landing. We looked in on Poppy and Belle, they were in their usual position, Poppy curled around Belle as big spoon, her arm across Belle and pulling her in close. -Leave our door open please, - Poppy whispered, -I want to be able to hear if Lia is distressed at all. - -Will you miss Katie? - -A little, - Belle replied, -but I -(TM)m so happy for them, they -(TM)re two of my favourite people, and they -(TM)re in love. It makes me all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. - -Me too sweetie, see you in the morning. - -We love you both, - Poppy whispered, -you -(TM)ve saved all our lives, and made us into one big family. Thank you so much. - Jenny blew them both a kiss and crossed the landing to our room. -I -(TM)ll leave our door open, - I said as we undressed, -I -(TM)m sure they -(TM)ll be fine, but just in case. - -They will be fine, Lia is in good hands with Katie. - And they were fine, so fine in fact they all overslept. Jenny woke the girls before she left for work. -Sorry Alex, they -(TM)ve overslept, somehow they all left their phones downstairs. Can you make their breakfasts so they don -(TM)t go to school hungry. - -Of course, I was going to go to school with them anyway. - -No, don -(TM)t do that, let Poppy take Belle, you look after Lia today. - -Ok, I guess Poppy -(TM)s in charge of Belle, - I replied as I pulled on yesterday -(TM)s clothes. Jenny dashed out of the door as I poured Frosties into bowls and put bread in the toaster. -Shit, shit, shit, - Poppy cursed as she stumbled downstairs, still wrapping her hair into buns, -why did we have to leave our phones down here today of all days. - -You -(TM)ll be fine, you -(TM)re not late, you -(TM)ve got time to eat breakfast. - Poppy was spreading Nutella onto a slice of toast as Belle appeared, she was fully dressed and looked very smart. I admired her as she gave me a twirl. -Lia showed me how to knot my tie, does it look ok? - -It looks great. - -And can you tell I -(TM)m not wearing a bra? I -(TM)m now feeling paranoid that people will be able to see my nipples. - -You look fine, - Poppy told her as she straightened Belle -(TM)s blazer, -you -(TM)re wearing a shirt and cardigan, nobody can see your nipples, and I am so sorry I ever made you wear a bra, your boobs are perfectly perky and you don -(TM)t need to wear one, ever. - Belle tucked into a bowl of Frosties as Katie dashed into the kitchen, she smeared marmalade onto her toast and ate it whilst pouring a glass of milk. Ten minutes later they were ready, with bags packed and coats on as Lia appeared, fresh from the shower, wrapped in a big fluffy towel. -Call me if there -(TM)s any drama, - I told them as they each kissed Lia goodbye. -Stop fussing, we -(TM)ll be fine, - Belle admonished me from the gate. -How on earth do parents do this for 18 years? - I asked with a sigh as I closed the door. -I -(TM)m not the right person to ask, - Lia replied, not a hint of offence in her voice. -Ahh sorry, it was a rhetorical question. Do you want coffee? - -Is that a real question, or rhetorical? - -Real, - I replied, smiling. -I -(TM)d love one. Am I ok getting dressed first? - -Of course, we -(TM)re in no rush. - -Great, I -(TM)m afraid I -(TM)ll have to wear the same clothes as yesterday, my other clothes are dirty. - -It may have escaped your notice, but I -(TM)m wearing the same as yesterday, due to being dragged out of bed to feed three tardy and very hungry teenagers. - -Ahh, partly my fault, I kept Katie awake with chatter for a long time, and I think Poppy stayed awake to make sure I was ok. - -Don -(TM)t worry about it. What would you like for breakfast? - -Just toast will be fine, I -(TM)m still full from last night. - -Once you -(TM)re dressed and had your coffee we -(TM)ll go shopping, get you some clothes and a laptop and phone for work. - -Oh no, I can -(TM)t let you buy me clothes. - -I -(TM)ve done it for the others, and you -(TM)ll be needing clothes, the two sets of clothes you -(TM)ve got definitely aren -(TM)t enough. - -I guess, but I get to choose where we shop. - -Definitely, I know absolutely nothing about girls -(TM) clothes shops. - -Perfect. - I poured myself a coffee while Lia dressed, for someone who hates shopping, and especially clothes shopping, I sure was doing a lot of it at the moment. Ahh well, at least the girls had fun, and seeing them happy was all I really wanted.