Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 ï>¿Susan's Firsts by Kalavo

   When September rolled around, I started classes at Cal State-Northridge.
I hadn't decided on a major yet, but figured I had time since I needed to
get through all of the basic prerequisites first.  I had always enjoyed
school and did really well getting A's on my exams and papers.  I continued
dancing at the club on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, but hadn't shot a
scene in quite a while.  My DVD was selling very well and was bringing in
some nice money for me.

   As I figured would happen, my Mom came to my apartment on a Thursday
evening.  Before I opened my door, I braced myself for an awkward evening.
When I opened my door, she swooped in and tried to hug me, but I pushed her
away.  She looked hurt but I didn't care.  We stood and stared at each
other for a while until I asked, "What do you want Joyce?" I could tell
that my tone and using her name instead of Mom struck home with her.

   I could see tears welling up in her eyes as she replied, "I just want to
talk.  Can we do that?"

   I indicated that she should sit in the chair and then I sat on my bed as
I asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

   "Well, mostly I want to apologize to you.  Your Dad and I talked for 5
hours after he came home when he saw you that night in August.  He told me
where he saw you and what you did there.  He also told me in detail what
the two of you talked about.  He felt terrible that he didn't realize it
was your birthday.  After he finished telling me everything we both came to
the conclusion that you were right, we have been the worst parents we could
have possibly been.

   "We should have never made you leave Chicago during your senior year,
I'm really very, very sorry about that.  We didn't think things through
very well, obviously.  I hope you'll be able to forgive us someday.  So,
what can we do to make things right?  Frankly, I haven't a clue."

   I was kind of shocked that she had apologized so forthrightly, but I was
still harboring hard feelings and it was going to take a lot more than 'I'm
sorry' to bridge the gulf between us.  So, I said, "I don't know what it
will take if anything.  My anger with you two is so deeply rooted right
now. Your apologizing was a good first step, but beyond that I don't know."

   She had a grim sort of smile and then said, "Yeah, a very small step.  I
know the word sorry doesn't really mean too much, but you have to believe
me when I say that the feelings behind it are heartfelt.  I know I didn't
show it very well, but I do love you and I hate that I caused you so much
pain."

   I made us a couple of salads for dinner as we talked for hours.  At one
point she said, "I watched your DVD's, well, the first two.  It's kind of
hard for a mother to watch her daughter have sex.  I was wondering if what
you said in the first one was true about your virginity."

   "It was.  I was a very good girl in Chicago and hadn't even kissed a boy
let alone have sex with one.  I was so lonely at school here because I just
couldn't seem to break into any groups to have friends.  When I read about
porn houses here looking for actresses, I decided my good girl days were
over figuring that would hurt you the most when you found out.  I was all
about revenge for my fucked up life here.

   "I took some pictures of myself and told a bunch of porn houses I was
willing to lose my virginity in a porn film if the price was right.  I got
several of them in a bidding war and ended up doing the first two scenes
for $200,000.  The first two were so popular, the studio wanted to do more
revolving around firsts for me, so we negotiated until I signed a contract
for 7 more scenes at $20,000 a pop plus 5% for every DVD sold.

   "So, I've made over $300,000, less taxes, doing porn and stripping. 
I've discovered I'm a bit of an exhibitionist and love both jobs.  I really
love sex and have loved everything I've done in my DVD's."

   "You know you can't do those things forever.  What about the future?"

   "I'm taking classes at Cal State Northridge though I haven't decided on
a major yet."

   "How about business management like your Dad?"

   I scowled and said, "After what business has done to us, there is no way
I'm doing that!"

   My Mom hung out with me for 6 hours talking about all sorts of things.
By the time she left I felt a lot better about my relationship with her. 
Just as she was walking out the door, she stopped abruptly, turned and
said, "I almost forgot, I wanted to give this to you in lieu of missed
birthdays and as a token of our love for you." I opened the box and was
dazzled by a beautiful diamond pendant on a silver chain.  I looked up at
my Mom at a loss for words as she said, "This belonged to my mother and to
her mother.  Cherish it." I couldn't help myself as I grabbed my Mom and
gave her a bear hug.  She hugged me back and whispered in my ear, "I love
you, honey.  Never doubt that.  I may do foolish things, but just remember
I love you!"

   I started crying and said, "I love you too, Mom.  I'm sorry I've been
such a brat."

   She held me at arm's length, smiled at me with tears in her eyes and
said, "You have nothing to apologize for, honey."

   My relationship with my parents improved markedly over time and we began
spending some time together.  They never said another word about being in
porn or stripping, which I figured they sidestepped to avoid alienating me
again.

   School went well and after my first year I decided on a double major of
Psychology, focusing on human sexuality, and Cinema and Television Arts. 
All through school I continued dancing on the weekends and during the
summer I would shoot 5 scenes with Porn Parade.  I was making money hand
over fist and had amassed a pretty tidy savings account and investment
portfolio.

   During my last semester at Northridge, I took an Eastern European
literature course to complete a humanities elective.  It was interesting
with books by Gunter Grass, Milan Kundera, Alexander Solzhenitsyn and
others.  I was sitting next to a good looking guy who looked a bit older
than the rest of us.  We began greeting each other before class and after
the third one he asked me to join him for coffee after class.

   I found out that his name was Tim, that he was in the MBA program and
that he always took literature classes to discover new authors to read.  We
talked for two hours straight with no lulls at all.  When he asked about
me, I was sketchy about my life and what I was up to for obvious reasons. I
had a really good time with him which led us to having coffee after our
remaining classes.

   After about 6 classes he said, "I have a couple of tickets to the LA
Philharmonic on Saturday night and was wondering if you'd like to go with
me?"

   Wow!  I was being asked out on a date!  "Uh, yeah, uh, I'd like that
that.  I'll have to get that night off work, but that should be no problem.
What time?"

   "If it's alright I'll pick you up at 5:30 and then take you to dinner
before the concert."

   "Yeah, that would, be, uh great.  Let me give you my address.  I've
never been to a classical concert, so what should I wear?"

   "An evening gown would be best."

   "Okay.  I'll look forward to it."

   I walked to my car in a daze.  As I drove home I decided I needed to
talk to someone and get some advice, so I pulled over and called Robin. 
When she answered the phone I asked, "Are you at the studio because I
really need to talk to you."

   "There's nothing wrong is there?"

   "No, I just need some advice on something that just came up."

   "Okay, I'm in my office at the studio.  Come on over."

   I made a beeline for the Porn Parade studios and went directly to
Robin's office.  When I walked in she smiled up at me for a moment until
she saw my face.  "What's going on?  You look like you just saw a ghost."

   I sat in a chair and said, "It's worse than that.  A guy I've become
friends with at school just asked me out on a date to see the LA
Philharmonic on Saturday."

   "Okay...so you're going on a date."

   I laughed and said, "I have never been on a date before!  Plus, I really
like this guy, so I'm afraid he'll find out what I do and, oh fuck, why did
I say yes!"

   Robin smiled at me and said, "Okay, take it easy.  Is he taking you to
dinner?"

   "Yeah.  He also said I should wear an evening gown.  I've never owned an
evening gown!"

   "Alright, first things first.  I'm going to call Robert and tell him you
need the weekend off so we can get you a dress and shoes tomorrow and then
Saturday I'll take you to salon and get your hair and nails done."

   She picked up the phone and put it on speaker when Robert answered.  The
two of the chatted for a couple of moments and then Robin said, "So, Suzy
needs to get the weekend off because she's been asked out on a date."

   "Yeah, so?" Robert replied.

   "Yeah, it's the first date she's ever been on, so we need to make it
special.  Alright?"

   Robert chuckled and said, "Okay, fine.  Tell her to have a good time."

   Next Robin called the salon she uses and made an appointment for me to
have my hair and nails done on Saturday at 10am.  With that finished she
said, "I'll come fetch you tomorrow around 1 and will take you dress and
shoe shopping.  I know the perfect stores for you.  So, does this guy know
about your jobs?"

   "No, I've been pretty vague about what I do.  He knows I work weekends,
but he hasn't pressed me for details.  Do you think I should tell him?"

   Robin thought for a few seconds and then said, "You should eventually,
but wait until you see if things will go further.  No sense blowing things
up right away.  Enjoy yourself for now."

   I thanked Robin for her help and being a friend and headed for home. 
Later I checked the LA Philharmonic website to see what pieces they were
going to play.  They were going to perform a Mozart symphony, a violin
concerto by Bruch and Barber's Adagio for Strings.  I wasn't familiar with
either Bruch or Barber, but I had always liked the Mozart I had heard, so I
was confident I'd like the performance.

   Robin and I decided on a navy blue satin evening dress and matching
heels.  Robin said I looked really good and very sexy.  I asked her if I
looked trashy because I didn't want to come off that way.  She smiled and
said, you'll look elegant and very attractive.  Your date will be panting
with desire when he sees you."

   On Saturday at the salon, Robin, the hairdresser and myself discussed
how I should have my hair.  When I moved to LA it was pretty short, but I
had allowed it to grow over the years so it was down past my shoulders now.
I didn't want it super short and I wanted to keep the ability to pull it
into a pony tail, so we worked around those criteria.  What we came up with
was both elegant and practical.  As far as my nails went, I wasn't a fan of
the uber dark nail craze and traditional red and pinks wouldn't look good
with my dress, so we went with a clear polish and a short trim.

   When I got home, I had several hours before Tim was due to pick me up. I
was extremely nervous, so I looked at some of my investments for a while.
That didn't last long, so I decided to call my Mom.  We had made up and
talked together at least once a week.  If there was ever a time for a
mother's love this was it!

   "Hey honey, what's up?"

   "Hey Mom, I just needed to talk to you.  I have a date tonight with a
guy from school.  You're not going to believe this, but this will be the
first date I've ever been on and I'm nervous as hell."

   "There's nothing to be nervous about.  Dates are a means for people to
get to know one another away from the day to day norm.  Believe it or not,
it's a chance to evaluate a future mate by observing their manners, tastes
and feelings towards you and vice versa.  Just relax and be yourself."

   "Okay, I guess what you say makes sense."

   "Does your date know your, um, vocation?"

   I chuckled and replied, "No, not yet.  No sense scaring the poor guy off
right away.  If things develop in a positive way, I'll have to tell him,
but not right now."

   "Well, when you do, be sure to tell him about how we treated you and how
that influenced your decisions.  That will help him understand your
motivations.  He may not like us after he hears your story, but we aren't
the important ones here, you are."

   "Oh god, Mom, I don't want to throw you and Dad under the bus anymore."

   "Honey, we deserve it for being such fuck ups and for driving you to
such an extreme reaction, so use it.  I'm sure he will understand."

   I had to laugh and asked, "So Mom, such a colorful metaphor!  I've never
heard you use 'fuck' before."

   She laughed and said, "Sometimes you have to use words that fit the
conversation.  I learned that from you!  Now relax and have fun tonight,
okay?"

   "Thanks Mom, I will.  I love you."

   "I love you too, honey."

   My conversation with my Mom calmed me down a lot, so I relaxed took a
shower and got dressed.  There wasn't much to getting dressed because we
had decided that wearing underwear wasn't an option with this particular
dress.  When I had the dress and shoes on, I put on the pendant that was
handed down by the women in my family.  It stopped just shy of the modest
amount of cleavage I was showing.

   Right at six my buzzer went off, so I buzzed Tim in and waited for him
to knock on my door.  When he knocked, I answered and was taken aback by
the handsome visage in a tuxedo before me.  I wasn't the only one staring
as he looked at me with eyes wide.  Finally, he broke the silence and said,
"My god, Sue, you're beautiful.  Er, I didn't mean that you aren't always
beautiful because you are, but right now you are taking my breath away
despite my rambling."

   I laughed and said, "I could say the same thing because you look
incredibly handsome."

   We both laughed at ourselves for a moment and then he asked, "Are you
ready?" I indicated I was and took the arm that was offered to me.  I was
led to a Rolls Royce limousine and as he helped me in he said that he hired
it so that we could drink if we wanted to.

   As we rode I couldn't believe how quiet it was in the car.  We made chit
chat for a few minutes until I said, "I have a confession to make, this is
the first date I have ever been on."

   "You're kidding!  I would have thought that someone as pretty as you
would have to beat men away with a stick.  So, how did this happen?"

   "Well, when I lived in Chicago, my parents kept a tight rein on me and
told me that the only thing boys wanted was to get into my panties.  The
experience of some of my classmates reaffirmed what my parents said, so I
never took any of the requests from boys up.  When we moved to LA in my
senior year, I didn't make any friends, so kept to myself and studied. 
After high school I worked a lot, so didn't have the time.  Oh, and thank
you for the nice complement."

   Tim blushed a bit and said, "Well, you are very pretty and thank you for
trusting me enough to go out with me.  I promise to do nothing that will
alter that trust."

   The ride downtown went quickly and soon we were pulling up to La Maison
du GoÃ>t.  A doorman opened our door as we pulled up to the front of the
restaurant.  I took Tim's arm as we walked in.  The MaÃ(R)tre d' greeted
Tim by name and the two had a conversation in French for a couple of
minutes and then we were led to a table in a corner.  As we sat, the
MaÃ(R)tre d' put my napkin on my lap and then presented me with a menu and
then did the same for Tim.  They spoke again for a few seconds and then Tim
asked, "Would you like some champagne?" I nodded and then the MaÃ(R)tre d'
left.

   Tim looked at me and said, "I apologize for talking with Maurice so
much. It gives me a chance to use my French and he likes that I speak it."

   "You have nothing to apologize for.  I was impressed that you spoke so
fluently.  Where did you learn it?"

   "We lived in France from the time I was two until I was eleven. 
Actually, French was my first language though my parents made sure I
learned English as well."

   "Wow, did you like living in France?  Where were you?"

   "We lived in Paris and I loved it.  I had so many friends and the food
was so good.  Even the simplest thing like a ham and cheese sandwich there
was so superior to anything we get here."

   "Have you kept in touch with any of your friends?"

   "There are three that I've stayed in touch with and visit whenever I'm
there or when they come here."

   At this time the wine steward approached out table with a bucket and a
couple of flutes.  He showed the bottle to Tim who nodded his approval and
then popped the cork and poured two glasses for us.  When the steward left,
Tim held his glass up and said, "Here's to your first date, I hope it's
memorable one." We touched glasses and then sipped the wine.

   I had never had champagne before and had to say I loved my first
experience.  I looked at Tim and said, "If the evening keeps up like this,
it will be very memorable.  Thank you."

   I looked at the menu and didn't really understand any of it and I think
Tim saw my confusion, so he said, "Would you trust me to order for us?" I
nodded so he then asked, "Is there anything you don't like food wise or are
you open to anything?"

   "I'll eat anything, so go ahead."

   Tim and the waiter bantered back and forth for a while and then the
waiter left with a smile.  When he left a couple of men swooped down on our
table and began removing plates, glasses and utensils.

   We had a good time eating and talking.  The food was marvelous with
wonderful flavors I had never encountered.  I wasn't much of a drinker and
I didn't want to get drunk for the rest of the night, so I think we wasted
quite a bit of wine because I only had the one glass of champagne and one
glass of a Bordeaux that Tim ordered.  I noticed that he didn't drink much
either.

   When we had finished we were whisked a few blocks over to the Walt
Disney Concert Hall, a very striking building with large swooping panels of
stainless steel.  When we got inside I was struck by how different the
interior was to the exterior.  There was lots of wood and muted red lights
illuminating the stage.  An usher showed us to our row and then directed us
to the middle where our seats were.  We were seated behind a small
partition between about 5 rows of seats in front of us.  I was guessing
that these were pretty prime seats.

   The concert was fantastic and I especially like the Bruch violin
concerto.  The performer was a woman named Hilary Hahn who was, to my
inexperienced ear, absolutely wonderful.  When the concert had finished, I
saw that she was signing autographs in the lobby, so I talked Tim into
letting me get her signature.  She was very personable and friendly and
thanked me for the complement I paid her.

   After the concert we went to a bar and talked about the concert over
drinks.  Tim chuckled when I ordered a Coke.  Finally, we headed for my
place and when we arrived, he walked me to my door and kissed me good
night. I thanked him for a magical evening.  He asked if he could ask me
out again and I told him I'd love it, but he had to keep in mind that I
worked on Friday and Saturday nights.

   When I was in bed I thought about the whole night and had to admit to
myself that it was the best time I had ever had and I looked forward to
many more dates with Tim.

   The next day Robin called and asked me how it went and I told her it was
wonderful and described the whole night to her.  When I mentioned where we
ate, she said, "That is the most exclusive restaurant in LA!" Later on, my
Mom called and I went through the same conversation with her.

   As the year progressed I kept on dancing on weekends and would go on
dates with Tim on Wednesday's, usually.  During the last week of classes
before I was going to graduate, Tim asked me out on a Wednesday evening. 
During the whole time we had been dating, he never once tried to have sex
with me.  I was more than willing, but I thought maybe he had some reasons
not to.  Anyway, after dinner we went for a walk on a beach and at one
point he stopped, took both of my hands in his, looked me in the eye and
said, "Sue, I have never felt about any woman like I feel about you.  I've
fallen in love with you and have to confess that I've kept a secret from
you.  You have probably figured out that I'm doing pretty well money wise,
but the truth is I'm really rich, like billionaire rich.  The reason I
haven't said anything is because women either get scared by that or can't
wait to get their fingers on the pot of gold.

   "During our time together, I've concluded that you are neither type, so
I would like to ask you..."

   "Um, Tim before you go any further, I need to tell you that I've kept a
secret from you as well and I'm afraid you won't like me too much when you
hear it.  The truth is, oh god." I began crying but continued, "The truth
is that I'm a porn actress and my weekend job is dancing at the Pink Kitty
strip club.  My stage name is Suzy Sweet, if you want to see my work on
line."

   He stood and stared at me gape mouthed and tried to talk a couple of
times but nothing came out.  I was afraid of what he was going to say, so I
turned around and ran for the parking lot.  There weren't any cabs around
so I just started walking as I pondered my ruined life.  I had fallen in
love with Tim as well and I couldn't give a hang about his money.

   I walked and walked until it was quite late.  I didn't want to go home
so I called an Uber and had him take me to my parents place.  It was around
11pm as I rang the doorbell.  My Dad answered and when he saw my condition,
he cried out, "Oh Sue, are you alright?"

   I burst out in tears again as my Mom came down the stairs, she pulled me
into the house, hugged me and said, "There, there.  Let's go up to your
room and talk about it."

   She led me to my old bedroom that still looked the same as the day I
left.  We lay on the bed together as she continued to hold me while I
cried. When my tears finally ebbed, she said, "Tell me what happened."

   "Oh Mom, Tim and I had had dinner and were walking on a beach when he
stopped and began telling me how he loved me and how he had kept a secret
from me.  He told me he was very rich and was about to ask me to marry him.
So, I stopped him, told him I had kept a secret from him as well and told
him about my jobs.  He just stared at me, so I began crying and ran away.
Why am I such a fuck up?" I began crying again.  My Mom held me tight
through the night, even when I had fallen asleep.

   I called in sick to the club and spent the weekend at my parents place.
My parents made up for all of their mistakes during that weekend as they
helped me get past my trauma with Tim.  By Sunday I was feeling better,
plus I needed to get home so I could go to class on Monday.  Once I got
home I sat down to study because we had finals coming up.

   I had been studying for a couple of hours when my door buzzer went off.
When I answered the intercom, it was Tim, "Hi Sue, can I come up please?" I
buzzed him in and waited by my open door.  He gave me a wan smile and gave
me a quick kiss on the cheek as he passed me coming in.  After I closed the
door, I turned around as Tim asked, "Can we talk?"

   "Yeah, please have a seat.  Would you like something to drink?"

   "Thank you.  But no," he said as he sat.  "I just want to apologize for
being an idiot.  It took incredible courage for you to tell me what you did
and I responded like a total moron.  In my defense I was a bit shocked, but
that's no excuse to behave the way I did.  I hope you will forgive me.

   "I ran after you after a few seconds, but you must run really fast
because I couldn't find you anywhere.  I came here, but you didn't answer
the buzzer nor answer your phone.  I hung out until 10 that night, but no
lights came on in your apartment and you never showed up.  I was really
worried something may have happened to you and was going to contact the
police if you didn't answer your door today.

   I want you to know that I love you no matter what jobs you have had, or
still have for that matter.  The only thing that matters to me is that you
are safe and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  So, will
you marry me?"

   I sat on my bed stunned for a few seconds and mulled his proposal.  I
decided he needed to know exactly who he was marrying and how that may come
back to bite him, so I said, "I love you too, Tim.  I have never said those
words to anyone but my parents.  I think you are wonderful and I love being
with you, but you have to consider how my past may come back to haunt you.

   "I've been making porn films for four years and have made dozens of
them. I have had sex with men and women in multiple ways and often with
multiple partners in multiple holes.  I stripped at the Pink Kitty for the
same amount of time.  Eventually, someone will put two and two together and
figure out your wife was/is a slut.  Do you think you could handle that
notoriety?"

   Tim stood up, walked over and sat down next to me on my bed and said,
"Yes!  As long as I'm with you I can handle anything, besides if things get
too weird we can always go live somewhere else." He then reached into his
pocket and grabbed a small box, got down on a knee at my feet, opened the
box which held a beautiful diamond ring and said, "I ask again, will you
marry me Susan Maguire?"

   I stared at Tim and the ring for a second or two and thought, 'He must
love me to ask me three times even knowing about my life, or at least part
of it.' I got on my knees facing him and said, "I would love to be your
wife!" I then kissed him with all of the passion I was feeling that moment.
To date, it was the single best experience of my life.

   We kissed for several minutes as we held each other tightly.  Finally,
when we broke the kiss, Tim pulled the ring from the box, took my left hand
and placed it on my ring finger.  "I have never been happier than I am at
this moment."

   I agreed, because I was overjoyed as well.  Finally, he said, "Now that
we have that squared away we need to talk.  Having kept secrets from one
another nearly derailed our future happiness, so I suggest we go over to my
place, which has more furniture, have dinner and talk as long as necessary.
Bring a change of clothes because you are spending the night.  We can go to
school from there, okay?  Oh, another thing...we won't be having sex until
our wedding night."

   This last bit confused me and when Tim saw my confusion he said he would
explain later.  I grabbed some clothes to change into in the bathroom,
threw some things in an overnight case and then went out to Tim's car.

   Now, I was expecting something really sporty, but was surprised when I
saw an older Chevy Malibu.  Again, he said he would explain later.  As we
drove neither of us said much.  I was trying to get my timeline correct in
my head and to make sure I told him everything.

   His place turned out to be the penthouse in a high rise condo downtown.
When we entered we were greeted by a gentleman who Tim introduced as
Nelson, his valet.  "Nelson, this is my fiancÃ(C) Susan Maguire." Nelson
offered his congratulations to both of us and then took my bag from Tim and
said it would be in the gray room.  Tim ushered me into the living room and
said, "Make yourself at home.  The bathroom is down that hall and is the
first door on the left," as he pointed.

   Nelson returned a few moments later and asked, "Would either of you care
for a beverage?" I told him a Coke or Pepsi would be nice and Tim said he'd
like the same.

   When we had our drinks, Tim said, "Nelson, Sue and I have a lot of
sensitive things to discuss and I'm sure she would appreciate it if it was
only the two of us.  I hope you understand."

   "I do sir.  I will retire to my room and read.  Call me if you need
anything."

   When Nelson had left, I took a sip of my drink and said, "May I go
first? I have a lot to tell you." Tim said to go ahead, so I began:

   "So, four and a half years ago I had just finished my junior year in
high school.  I was popular, got good grades and was a good girl.  I was
looking forward to my senior year with all of the fun attached to that time
of our lives.  However, my Dad took a promotion with his company which
required us to move to LA.  I was devastated by the timing and begged my
parents to allow me to stay behind and finish school with my friends.  My
parents refused saying that they wanted me close to them not half a
continent away.

   "I now know I was a brat, but at the time I was very, very angry with my
parents.  To compound things, they both worked long hours so I never saw
them, which pissed me off even more.  They even missed my 18th birthday by
two weeks!  I thought going to school would improve my life because I could
make some friends, but that was a bust as well, so I concentrated on
studying and trying to plot out my revenge on my parents.

   "I discovered how I would get my revenge in the pages of the LA Barb,
the alternative newspaper.  There were a number of ads for porn studios
looking for actresses which gave me the idea of selling my virginity to the
highest bidder.  I sent my proposal to quite a few places and, in the end,
made a deal with Porn Parade for $200,000 for 2 scenes.  The first I would
give my first blowjob and lose my virginity and the second I would lose my
anal virginity.  We started shooting after I graduated from high school, a
date my parents missed again by two weeks.  What better revenge on one's
parents than to do X-rated porn?

   "The scenes went very well.  I did them both with the same actor who was
very kind and made sure I had the best experience possible.  I discovered I
love having sex!  I mean, I really, really like it!  All of it!  Once the
pain went away I loved getting fucked for the first time, I loved sucking
his cock and I really loved anal sex.

   "That summer I went on to make 7 more videos doing things for the first
time.  I had my first double penetrations, sex with a black man, sex with a
woman, gangbangs and an orgy.  I have to tell you I loved it all!  As a
matter of fact, I want to give you the DVD of that first summer called Suzy
Sweet's Firsts." I pulled the case out of my handbag and handed it to him.
He thanked me and then invited me to continue.

   "Since I was shooting only one day a week, I decided I needed to do
something else with my time.  One of the producers suggested working at the
Pink Kitty Klub as a stripper in order to make extra money and to promote
my work at Porn Parade.  She said they didn't do lap dances and that sort
of thing and that the clientele was more affluent lawyers and business men.
By the end of the summer I had made nearly $300,000!

   "Just before I started school that Fall, my father happened to be in the
club.  I shocked him by squatting in front of him totally naked saying 'Hi
Dad'.  We had coffee when the club closed and I told him what shitty
parents he and my mother were.  After school had started my Mom came to my
apartment and apologized profusely for being a shitty parent, which started
our healing process.  I have to say that we are now as close as we ever
were.  When I told my Mom I had that first date with you, she told me to
throw them under the bus when knowledge of my work came to light.

   "Anyway, that's about it.  I didn't mean to lead you on or freak you
out, I just thought I would confess once I knew our relationship was
developing into something special.  Please forgive me."

   Tim stood up, kneeled in front of me, pulled me into a hug and said,
"There's nothing to forgive.  I completely understand why you didn't say
anything earlier because I was in the same boat.  Why don't we take a break
and then I will tell you my story."

   I went to the toilet and smiled to myself knowing that Tim was the best
of the best and that I loved him even more now.  I grabbed another Coke and
then settled back into the living room where Tim shared his story:

   "As I told you the other night, I'm very wealthy.  When I was younger I
was very arrogant and full of myself.  I used my position and power to have
sex with many women never spending more than one night with any of them.  I
drove fast cars and partied all of the time.  My life style was becoming
destructive, but I ignored the signs and kept it up until I nearly died in
a car accident while I was drunk.  As I lay in the hospital I fretted about
how I could have killed some poor innocent person while behaving so
immaturely.

   "When I had recovered, I went back to France for a year and got my head
on straight with my friends.  They were an enormous help and I can't wait
for you to meet them.  Anyway, when I returned to LA I started dating a
movie star named Elizabeth Meyers.  She was beautiful and charming and
turned out to have my money in her sights.  From day one when we began
dating, she conducted a clandestine affair with one of her co-stars on a TV
show.  I found out she planned to marry me and then dump me for as much
money as she could get.

   "I was devastated when I found out what was going on.  But this time, I
decided to go back to school and submerge myself in my studies and working
at my father's company.  It worked and I got my head screwed on right.  I
dated a few women, but they were either scared of my money or liked the
money more than me.

   "And then I met you.  God, the first time I sat next to you in class I
was infatuated but decided to play it cool.  When we started having coffee
together after class, I just fell deeper and deeper in love.  I wanted to
take things nice and slowly because I didn't want to blow it.  I thought
I'd let you see that I was doing okay moneywise on that first date, but not
enough to scare you off.  I couldn't believe it was the first date you had
ever been on.  I assumed that you were a virgin and wanted to wait until
you were married to have sex, so I decided I would respect that and put
absolutely no pressure on you for sex.

   "When I was in the middle of proposing to you on the beach and you told
me of your work, I'll admit I was shocked.  Not so much by knowing that you
had sex for a job, but more that you didn't come close to appearing like my
assumption of what pornstar was.  My inability to talk probably sent you a
signal that I was disgusted, but that wasn't the case.  I was just
surprised.

   "There are two more things to tell you.  First, I saw you perform at the
Pink Kitty that first summer you danced.  A guy in our office was getting
married, so we had his bachelor party there.  I think you wore a really
skimpy bikini and a see-through shirt over it.  I remember because you were
the best of the lot as far as I could tell, but then again, I was pretty
drunk.  The second thing is that I want to wait until our wedding night to
have sex for the first time so that you don't feel pressured."

   It was my turn to walk over to Tim and hug him.  "I'm sorry you had such
rotten luck with the women in your life and I promise I won't be one of
them if you still want to marry me after my story.  To be honest, I don't
really care about your money.  I'm probably worth a little more than
$750,000 with my investments and what not and you see how I live.  The
apartment I live in is the first one I took when I left my parent's place
and the car I bought at the same time.  I'm quite happy living a simple
life.

   "One thing I won't do is wait until we get married to make love.  I have
fucked many times, but I have never made love with a person I love and I
don't want to wait.  I love you Tim, let's go to bed!"

   I pulled him up to his feet and told him to lead the way to his bedroom.
His room was very large and had a large bed in it with the usual dressers
and chairs.  I noticed a bathroom so I said, "Why don't we take a shower
first."

   The shower was large with multiple spray heads and when Tim turned the
water on it got instantly hot.  As I stripped my clothes off, which
consisted of just my shirt and shorts, Tim stared with obvious admiration.
"My god, you are so beautiful." He said as I stood before him in my
nakedness.

   He stripped quickly as well.  I admired his athletic build and muscle
tone.  When his shorts came off, his cock was erect and ready for action
and I have to say it was a thing of beauty.  I was never what they call a
size queen because, frankly, the really large cocks I took in some of my
scenes hurt because they were too big.  But looking at Tim I had to smile
because I was having a Goldilocks moment thinking, 'He's just right' about
the size of Jake the guy I was with in my first scene.

   As we got into the shower I pulled Tim into a hug and kissed him
passionately, enjoying the feel of his wet skin against mine.  I liked that
he didn't have a lot of body hair as our bodies slid against each other. 
We lathered each other up and thoroughly scrubbed one another and rinsed
off.  Next Tim began shampooing my hair.  I don't know why, but I loved the
feeling of him massaging shampoo into my scalp.

   When the shampoo had been rinsed away, I sank to my knees and took Tim's
cock in my mouth and began to give, what I hoped would be, the best blowjob
of his life.  I took his circumcised member deep in my mouth working my
tongue around the head of his cock as I sucked and worked him in and out. I
would look up periodically to see his reaction and saw that his eyes were
closed and his mouth was open as if he was saying 'ahhh'.

   After a few minutes I could tell he was getting close, so being the good
porn star that I am, I pulled on his ass and took all of him in my mouth
and throat.  I looked up at him and saw that he was looking at me with eyes
wide in surprise.  I pulled back and pulled him back in several times until
he cried out, "OH GOD!  I'M CUMMMING!" I pulled back just in time to feel
his first pulse jettison his semen into my mouth.  I swallowed his first
shot easily and continued swallowing until I had every last drop.

   When I stood up, Tim pulled me into a crushing hug and kissed me hard
with lots of tongue.  When he broke the kiss, he held me at arm's length,
smiled and said, "My god, that was incredible!  I'm going to love being
married to a porn star and sex goddess!" I couldn't help it and started
laughing.  At that moment I knew that my porn days were not an issue to the
man I loved.

   When we got out of the shower I wrapped my hair in a towel and then
dried my body off.  As soon as Tim was mostly dry, he picked me up easily
and carried me to his bed.  He laid me down gently and told me to scoot to
the middle.  He followed me and when I stopped, he pulled my legs apart and
buried his face into my pussy.  He licked, lapped, nibbled, bit, sucked and
generally made love to my pussy with his mouth.  When he had brought me to
my first climax, he sunk a couple of fingers in me and began stroking my
G-spot causing me to cum a couple of more times.  He looked up at me at one
point and said, "I've never gone down on a shaved pussy before, but I have
to say I love it!  Will you always keep it bald please?"

   I laughed and said, "I had laser treatments, so it will always be bald
for you." He smiled and dove back in like a child with his favorite ice
cream.  After a while, I just wanted him in me, so I said, "Tim, my love,
make love to me now.  I want to feel you in me!"

   When he sank into me, we both let out moans of pleasure.  God, he felt
just perfect!  He was propped up on his arms like in porn films so the
cameras can get good penetration shots.  But I wanted him to lay on me so I
could feel his entire body, kiss him and nuzzle into his neck.  So, I
pulled his head down to kiss me as I said, lay on me while we make love,
please.  He did as I asked and I had the most sublime experience of my
life. He was indefatigable as he made love to me the way I had always
dreamed of.  I orgasmed several times before Tim let loose deep within me.

   We were both breathing hard as I held him tight against me with him
still impaling me with his slowly softening penis.  When our breathing had
moderated, I whispered in his ear, "I love you so much, Tim."

   I could feel him smile as he said, "I love you too, Sue."

   We cuddled in bed and talked for quite a while.  I told Tim I didn't
really want a big wedding and he said he didn't either, just our parents
and a few select friends.  I chuckled and said the only friends I have are
porn stars and strippers.  He laughed and said that they would bring a
little color to the proceedings.

   After a while Tim said, "What would you think about getting married in
Paris?  We could fly over with our parents in my jet and get married there
with my friends in attendance."

   I sat up, looked at him and asked, "You have a jet?  One big enough to
fly to Europe?"

   He laughed and said, "Actually, I have two jets.  A 767 and a
Gulfstream. I think we'd take the 67 to Paris because it would be more
comfortable.  So, what do you think?"

   I pondered for a bit, or at least looked like I was mulling things over,
then smiled and said, "I would love to get married in Paris.  It sounds
really romantic.  Now the only question that remains is when?  For me the
sooner the better, though I will need to get a passport.  Oh, and another
thing...we need a prenuptial agreement.  I know we don't plan on getting
divorced or anything, but it's the right thing for you to do and for me as
well."

   Tim looked at me gob smacked and then said, "I know my father would
insist on one, but I didn't want to embarrass you by asking for one."

   I laughed and said, "After hearing your story that was one of the first
things I thought about.  You can tease your Dad by saying that I insisted
because I wanted to protect my assets!"

   We made love a couple of more times that night and each time was better
than the next.  We got so little sleep that we decided to blow off classes
that day.  Tim called his French friends and told them of our engagement
and our desire to married in Paris.  They talked at length until Tim turned
to me and asked, "Instead of getting married in Paris would you consider
doing it in a chateau in the Loire Valley?" My confusion was apparent, so
he told his friend he would call back in a few minutes.

   Tim opened his notebook and pulled up a bunch of pictures of the chateau
in question.  It was not only incredible but humongous!  It sat by itself
with a forest behind a garden with an incredibly ornate set of hedges, in
front of it was acres and acres of vineyards.  I had to smile because it
looked like something out of a fairy story, so I told Tim, "Yeah, that
would be marvelous."

   I called my Mom to tell her the good news and that we planned on having
the ceremony in France at a chateau.  I told her we hadn't set a date yet,
but that it would be fairly soon once we got our ducks all in a row.  She
was crying as she told me how happy she was for me.

   Next, I called Robin at the porn studio and told her of my engagement
and how I was going to retire from porn.  I also told her that she should
expect and invitation to our wedding which would be in France, so if she
didn't have a passport she should get one sooner rather than later.

   Lastly, I called Robert at the Pink Kitty and told him I could no longer
dance and why.  He was very gracious, congratulated me and told me that if
I ever got the bug to dance that I was always welcome in his place.

   When Tim and I sat down after making all of our calls, we sat down
together and discussed what we had been doing.  He said, "Okay, my friends
and I have decided on the 15th of July for a wedding date, if that works
for you.  It happens to be a national holiday in France being Bastille Day.
They said they would take care of all of the arrangements and any guests
will be welcome to stay as long as they would like at the chateau."

   "Yeah, that would be great," I replied.  "I think I will ask my friend
Robin from Porn Parade to be my maid of honor, if you don't mind.  She was
very kind to me and helped me through several crises."

   Tim, being the sweet man that he is said, "I have no problems with
anything you want.  It sounds as though she was a good friend and good
friends should be rewarded." I kissed him and told him I loved him.





   The next month was a whirlwind of activity.  I applied for an expedited
passport, took my final exams and graduated with honors and worked on
wedding arrangements.  I had notified Robin that she was my choice as maid
of honor, which she was thrilled about and doubly so when she heard she
would get a free trip to France.

   We had decided that we would arrive in France a week before our nuptials
in order to feel acclimated.  We had everything arranged, so with two weeks
to go Tim and I were finally able to relax.  One evening we went to see a
baseball game with the dodgers playing the Cubs.  I had always been a Cubs
fan and Tim a Dodgers fan so we made a bet on the game with the loser
having to do anything the winner wanted the next day for all 24 hours.  The
Cubs won 10-3!

   I had, by this time, moved in with Tim and had established an excellent
rapport with Nelson.  I told him about our bet that night and how I had won
and that he should take the entire next day off unless he wanted to be
embarrassed by our actions.  He took the hint and said he would visit his
mother in San Diego.

   The next morning, I got up first and made preparations for breakfast. 
When Tim got up he asked why I was making breakfast and I told him how I
had given Nelson the day off.  I then told him I wanted him naked all day
when we were at home.  He stripped himself with a smile and then we ate the
breakfast I had made.  I think he was expecting to have sex all day, but I
quashed those thoughts when I told him we were going to Disneyland.

   Despite having lived in LA for close to 5 years, I had never been to
Disneyland, so we made a day of it.  We both had a great time on the rides
and walking around taking everything in.  On our way home, I told him we
should pickup some Chinese carryout.  We each ordered a couple of our
favorites and then headed for home when we got our order.  When we walked
in the door, I told Tim to strip again and then we ate our dinner.

   After dinner, I told Tim to take a shower in the master bath and that I
would take a shower in the guest bath and that we would meet in the living
room when we had finished.  When Tim had left to shower, I remained behind
for a few minutes in order to cue up a DVD for us to watch.  I then retired
to my assigned bathroom and cleaned up for the rest of our evening.

   When I got to the living room, Tim was waiting for me as I entered naked
as well, which caused him to smile.  I stood in the middle of the room and
said, "We're going to watch a movie, so how about we make some popcorn and
open a nice bottle of white wine?" He thought that would be a good idea, so
he fetch a bottle of wine while I made the popcorn.  When we had everything
ready, we sat down and I said, "I hope you like my choice of movie tonight.
I know most guys don't like romantic movies, so I chose one that's more
appealing to men."

   "I'm sure I will like anything you chose." He then reached his wine
glass over, touched it to mine and took a healthy sip.

   I smiled and sipped then said, I'm pretty sure you'll like it."

   I started the DVD which instantly got Tim's attention when he saw me
standing there naked answering Robin's questions.  Tim looked at me for a
second with wide eyes, which made me smile and then back to the screen as
he drained his wine glass.  When he saw me go down on Jake, he looked at me
again before watching the screen again.  I could see that he was quite hard
which caused me to smile.  When Jake had pulled me up, I asked Tim, "So,
what do you think of my movie selection?"

   Tim's mouth moved but didn't make any sounds and then he turned his
attention back to the screen.  By this time Jake was plowing into my pussy.
I had never watched my DVD's before now.  It wasn't because I was ashamed
or anything, it was because I didn't have a TV and DVD player.  I guess I
could have watched them on my laptop, but the thought never crossed my
mind. While watching with Tim, I thought the scene looked pretty hot.  I
was remembering how I felt at the time and how much I enjoyed what we were
doing.  It then dawned on me that this may be disturbing to Tim, watching
his fiancÃ(C) having sex with another man.

   He was watching with rapt attention, so I whispered, "If this upsets you
we can turn it off."

   He looked at me quickly and said, "No, it's okay." He then turned his
attention back to the TV.

   I thought to myself, 'I hope this means he's okay watching this.' I then
turned my attention back to the screen.  At this time, I was on my hands
and knees while Jake was lubing his cock just before he put it in my ass.
Again, I remembered what I was going through and how great the whole
experience was.  When Jake penetrated me on the screen, my hand dove into
my pussy as I watched.  I looked over at Tim and saw that he was now
stroking himself.  That was a pretty good sign that he was liking what he
saw, so I decided I would help him out.  I pulled his hand away and then
took his cock in my mouth and began giving him the best blowjob I knew how
to give.

   Tim had put his hands on my head but was pushing on me.  I decided I
wanted him to so I lifted off his cock and said, "Tim, make me do what you
want!  Push my head so I take you all the way!" He did as he was told and
buried his cock in my throat.  I decided I kind of missed being used like I
often was in porn scenes, so as I fucked my face on Tim I rubbed my clit
until I came just moments before he did.  I swallowed all of his spunk and
then sat up and looked at him to see how he was doing.

   I didn't have to worry because the first thing out of his mouth was,
"Fuck!  That was awesome!  Can I, you know, uh, well, have anal sex with
you?"

   I smiled and said, "I was hoping the video would inspire you!  God yes!
I want you to fuck my ass until I'm screaming for mercy!"

   I guess the idea inspired him, because he was hard again (or maybe he
never went soft?).  Anyway, I had cleaned myself out while I took my shower
and had planted a bottle of lube behind a pillow on the couch.  I grabbed
the bottle, turned around and faced the back of the couch while on my
knees, poured some lube in my hand, handed the bottle to Tim and said,
"Lube up your beautiful cock and then fuck my ass!"

   I lubed myself up while he got his dick slick and then he got behind me
and began working himself into my derriere.  It had been a while since I
had had anal sex and was thinking how much I missed it as Tim impaled me. I
was getting impatient, so I began moving forward and backwards fucking
myself on him.  "FUCK ME HARDER, TIM!  FUCK ME HARDER!" I begged my lover.
God, it felt good!

   Tim did as I asked and began pounding into me bringing a smile to my
face.  I dropped my right hand to my dripping pussy and began roughly
rubbing my clit and within moments had a huge orgasm.  Tim was still going
strong as he battered my behind like a madman.  I was pleasantly surprised
that he hadn't cum yet as he pounded away.  All of a sudden, however, he
cried out, "I'M CUMMING SUZY!" pulled me hard onto his cock as stream after
stream of his seminal fluid gushed forth into my colon.  This pushed me
over the edge once again as I buried four fingers deep into my vagina and
came hard once again.

   I collapsed on the back of the couch while still on my knees with Tim
draped on top of me.  We were both panting hard as we gasped for air with
Tim still buried in my rectum for a couple of minutes until Tim pulled out
of me.  He scooped me up in his arms and carried me to our bedroom and the
attached bathroom while kissing me the whole time.  He set me down as he
started the water and when it was the temperature he wanted, he pulled me
in with him and then pulled me into a hug and kissed me deeply.  When he
broke the kiss, he looked into my eyes and said, "I had been afraid to
watch your DVD because I was afraid I would get insanely jealous, but the
opposite was true.  You looked so hot while that guy was fucking you and
then it dawned on me I was the guy that would get to do that with you
forever!  I love you so much and am so happy you are in my life."

   "I'm glad you're in my life as well!  I hope I didn't freak you out.  I
love it when we make love, but I had missed just getting a good old
fashioned hard fucking and I really like anal sex."

   Tim chuckled and said, "I had never had anal sex before now, but now I
can say that anytime you want it, I'll give it to you!"

   The days and weeks sped by until it was time to head to France for our
wedding.  My parents, Tim's parents and Robin joined us on the flight over
the water and I have to say we all had a good time.  We arrived in Paris
first and spent several days there and then a few days before our wedding
drove south to the chateau.  Pictures didn't do the place justice once I
saw it with my own eyes!  The place was incredible!  Additionally, Tim's
childhood friends were the warmest, most accepting people I had ever met
and I looked forward to a lifelong friendship with all of them.

   The wedding went off without a hitch and now Tim and I were on our
honeymoon.  A couple of days into our post-wedding trip, Tim suggested that
I tell my interesting story.  So, here we are, full circle.  What started
out as an adolescent trauma has turned into a fairy tale for me.  I love my
husband, my parents and my life!