Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. ONE AND DONE. Or so I thought. by FunKelly ONE AND DONE. Or so I thought. Part 2 I frantically pulled off my shorts and panties, then watched the trailer again and again until I brought myself to a massive orgasm. I was so ashamed that a took a long hot shower and promised myself I would never revisit Caroll's website again. Even after my long shower, I still felt dirty and morally depraved as I got dressed and tried to go about my daily household routine. Paul wasn't due home from his golf game for a couple more hours, which was time I would need to pull myself together. I did not want to appear guilt-ridden or ashamed for my obscene behavior, even if I was the only one who knew I had masturbated myself to an orgasm while watching something I truly detested. Less than a half hour after my shower I found myself emotionally struggling with the difference in my attitude and the attitude of the girl in the trailer. Why was I feeling so ashamed in the privacy of my own home, while she appeared so relaxed and happy in such a public venue? There she was. Sitting up on a stool with her hair soaking wet, her body glistening in her own sweat, still completely naked! She had just been brought to an orgasm in front of a room full of fully clothed people! Yet there she was! Her legs spread apart enough so everyone could see her wet yet satisfied pussy, her hands on her knees, so as not to conceal anything, as her breast were bouncing up and down while she giggled and smiled uncontrollably all the way through the interview. At least the part I saw on the trailer. Why was I feeling so ashamed, yet this girl seemed so delighted to be right where she was? WHY? I decided to vacuum the house, even if it didn't need it, just to keep myself occupied and my mind on something other than the trailer that showcased the happy naked girl. As I was vacuuming, I kept on having these thoughts of my recent regret that I knew deep down would haunt me for years. When Paul and I were on our honeymoon in the Caribbean, we had visited two topless beaches. Paul asked me if I wanted to remove my bikini top, but I told him I was too modest and didn't feel comfortable. He never pressed the issue, but somehow, I wished he had. We were in an environment where we knew not one single person. Why didn't I take my top off? Maybe because I was not so proud of my size "A" breasts or maybe just because I was just too bashful. Either way, we were leaving the Caribbean on the plane. I reclined my seat, closed my eyes and asked myself over and over in my mind, "Why didn't I go topless? No one we know would have known! Now the opportunity was gone! I could have visited the open-air bar wearing nothing but my tiny bikini bottom, but I didn't! On several occasions since we returned from our honeymoon, I'd find myself wearing nothing but my panties as I had my morning coffee in our kitchen, after Paul left for work. I'd imagine that I am at one of the Caribbean outdoor bars we had visited, surrounded by other beach goers, some topless, but most were not. I imagined I would be talking to complete strangers, wearing nothing but a bikini bottom that barely covered my ass and pussy. Those moments were my chance to experience the thrill of semi-public nudity, but they ended as a missed opportunity. Allow me to let you in on a little secret. I have no real sexual fantasies but missing out on the experience of being topless in public has weighed on my mind since our honeymoon. As I continued vacuuming for no reason whatsoever, I started shaking my head violently, as I said to myself, "STOP IT JEN! STOP IT! YOU ARE NOT A SLUT! THIS IS THE KIND OF SHIT ONLY SLUTS WHO ARE WILLING TO SURRENDER EVERY OUNCE OF THEIR DIGNITY AND SELF-RESPECT DO! STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!" As I was in emotional turmoil concerning my missed topless opportunity, combined with the enthusiastic naked girl in Caroll's 'Level One' trailer, I found myself at the crossroads of my sexual desires. Just then, my cell phone rang. It was Paul. I took a deep breath, answered the phone and said, "Hi honey. What's up?" He replied, "Hey Jen. The guys and I are going for a drink after our game. Care to join us at the 19th hole for a couple?" Almost always, I would say "Yes", then join Paul and his friends at the country club for a few drinks. Today was not one of those days. I simply replied, "No honey, I'd rather not today. You have fun with your friends, and I'll see you when you get home. As we hung up our phones, I knew that meant at least another hour until Paul would be expected home. I put the vacuum away and ran up the stairs to our bedroom, stripping off my clothes on the way. I opened Caroll's website on my P.C., then immediately clicked the link to the 'Level One' trailer. I had broken my own promise to myself in less than an hour, but I was unable to control my sexual urges. I had to see the exhilaration displayed by the adorable naked girl in the trailer again. After starting the trailer again, I put it on a loop so it would run over and over. I then placed my P.C. on our bed facing the bedroom door. I couldn't believe what I was about to do next, but I had to attempt to replicate the feeling of vulnerability that girl in the trailer must have felt. I stood in the doorway and placed my feet and hands against the door jams, exposing every inch of my naked form. I started imagining our bedroom was filled with fully clothed guests, as I was bound naked and helpless. The feelings of exposure and humiliation were only eclipsed by the inability to slip my fingers in my pussy to gratify myself, as I held tight to the door jams as if I was really bound there. I would not allow myself to massage my clit as I watched the trailer over and over for more than fifteen minutes. I started pretending the guests were commenting among themselves about my naked body as some even started asking me questions, as I remained restrained and powerless to cover my shame. I had gone from slight curiosity to full blown fantasy in less than two hours. I gripped the door jams even harder as I found myself questioning my own morality. Was this some suppressed desire of mine that I had buried in my psyche, or was I just caught up in the moment? Worse yet! Was I becoming a "SLUT"? Maybe I was always some kind of "Closet Slut", and it was just surfacing now. All I knew was that the indignity of my behavior became overwhelming. I quickly released my grip on the door jams, turned off my P.C. and started to get dressed. I was so ashamed; I didn't stop to satisfy my urge to bring myself to orgasm. Maybe some sort of self-imposed punishment for my abhorrent conduct. Once my panties were back on, I walked up to my full-length mirror and started to run a brush through my ultra-short jet-black hair. I had been told on several occasions that I have a magnificent ass and great legs. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I vainly agreed with the assessment of my 110-pound figure, in my thoughts. I then focused on my tiny breasts and strawberry red nipples. I started feeling the regret of my missed topless opportunity all over again. My breasts are small, but they fit my frame and I wished I had shown them off when I had the chance. Once again, an overwhelming sense of shame came over me as I looked at myself in the mirror. I put on the rest of my clothes, and headed downstairs, desperately trying to get these detestable thoughts and yearnings off of my mind.