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 �>�May It Please the Court by base

   "May it please the Court, your Honor, I am Donna Salem, Amicus curiae,
presenting as a Friend of the Court."

   All eyes turned to the naked girl holding a brief case.  A loud ruckus
erupted.

   The Judge slammed his gavel, "Silence!  I'll have quiet in the court, or
I'll have the bailiff clear the court room." The Judge gave a stern look
around the room, and the audience fell quiet while still angling to get a
better look at the naked girl.  The Judge turned his attention to the naked
girl, "You have ten seconds to explain yourself before I have the bailiff
arrest you."

   The prosecutor rose, "I am sorry, your Honor."

   The Judge tapped his gavel and pointed it at the prosecutor, "I asked
the young lady to explain herself, not an apology from you." He turned back
to the naked girl, "And please do speak up."

   The girl said, "Thank-you, your Honor.  My name is Donna Salem, and
I..."

   The Judge said, "Salem?  Not the same Salem as the prosecutor.  Jim?"

   The prosecutor sat quiet.

   The naked girl said, "Yes.  Deputy prosecutor James Salem is my father,
but that is not why I am here.  I came here today to explain how the
accused is being mistreated and falsely prosecuted."

   The Judge leaned forward, and said, "That's why the defendant has legal
council, and I might add, legal council is dressed."

   Donna said, "Yes, your Honor, and that is the trouble.  The defendant's
legal council does not believe in his client innocence.  He has been
assigned to the case since the prosecutor raised the legal implication to
include sexual misconduct.  As fine of an attorney as he might be, he is
defending his client, not challenging the law that brought his client
before your court."

   The Judge said, "And you are?  and naked at that?"

   Donna said, "Yes, your Honor.  I am challenging the law in this case,
and I am not naked.  Not by the City Code."

   The judge said, "Lecturing me in the law?"

   Donna said, "Of course not, your Honor.  I am merely presenting myself
to the court as what is allowed by law to demonstrate the clearly
subjective and invalid means in which the City Code is written.  I refer
the Court to city Code Section 3.2 Part iii(e) where the definition of
indecent exposure is listed."

   The Judge shuffled some paper, and Donna's father flipped through his
own books.

   Donna did not need to read it.  She knew the law.  "Indecent exposure of
the female breast shall have occurred if any or part of the female areola
is visible to the public either covered or covered by non-opaque material
or paint." She pointed to her breasts where circular pasties covered her
own areola.  "By this law, I am not exposed to the public."

   The Judge grinned, "But the defendant was not accused of wearing
pasties, but of baring her naked breasts."

   Donna said, "True, your Honor.  But from a distance, there is no
observable difference.  You thought I was topless and naked, when I was
not, as I pointed your attention to the cover over my nipples."

   The Judge leaned forward to look at Donna's full body.  "And down
below?"

   Donna said, "Subection 3.2.1, Part ii(b), deals with the display of
genitalia in public.  Your Honor is fully aware that female genitalia are
internal, but as to not split hairs on definitions, I draw your attention
to the tape covering my vagina." She spread her legs slightly, and the
court room all leaned for a better view.  She did have a tan piece of tape
covering her clit on back.

   Donna said, "Your Honor, if I am dressed as I am and not in violation of
the law, the police would attempt to harass me for the crime that the
defendant is accused.  Without a closer inspection of the facts, the police
officer could not have told the difference, not at the distance he was in
his patrol car."

   The Judge said, "But none of this makes actually going nude legal."

   Donna said, "Your Honor, if the police have to stop and inspect everyone
in a quite personal manner before determining whether one is indecent or
not, justice is not being served.  It becomes an invasion of privacy for
everyone."

   The Judge had a good chuckle.  He turned to the prosecutor, "Help me
here."

   The prosecutor shook his head, then stood, "Nothing has been entered
into evidence your Honor.  Without evidence, there is no claim to being
covered or not."

   The Judge said, "Are you ready to enter into evidence the legal cover,
so to speak?"

   Donna breathed deep and stepped forward peeling off her pasties and
reaching between her legs and pulling the tape loose that reached to
covering her anus.  She thanked small favors for not having to demonstrate
that her anus was in fact covered.  She laid the three tiny pieces of tape
on the Judge's bench.

   The Judge said, "Now explain why I should not have you throw in jail for
appearing in my court room naked?"

   Donna said, "Upon Court order, I surrendered my cover.  Now, the Court
must decide whether it required an illegal act to occur or whether female
nudity is not at all indecent, and requires subjective and intrusionary
searches of innocent people."

   The Judge asked, "Intrusionary?"

   Donna shrugged, "Intrusion on her right to privacy."

   The judge looked to Donna's father, "What do you have to say about all
of this?"

   Mr.  Salem looked at his naked daughter standing in court.  She seemed
unashamed and clear of purpose.  While he agreed with her legal claims, he
had a responsibility to uphold the laws as written.  He rose to speak, "You
Honor, while the Amicus curiae made an impressive presentation to the
Court, the practical matter is that someone walking naked in public is
guilty of indecent exposure.  No city in the state would say different."

   Donna turned and looked at her father in shock.  Mr.  Salem realized his
mistake, "Excuse me, your Honor.  There is one city with relaxed indecency
laws.  A small college town."

   The Judge smiled, "Oh yes, I've been reading about that campus." He
thought for a moment.  Looking at the beautiful naked girl standing in
courtroom, he said, "For the life of me, I cannot call God's gift to man
indecent.  However, I am reluctant to declare female nudity legal at this
time within these City Limits.  I will postpone my judgment on the matter
to the legality of the City's indecent exposure laws pertaining to female
exposure.  In one month, we will reconvene in this Court where I will make
a ruling before hearing the defendant case.  What I will need to see that
this right is wanted by someone in the community.  For if no one acts for
the right, no rights are being furthered.  Miss Salem, do you understand
me?"

   Donna stood straight, "Yes, your Honor.  I do."

   The Judge slammed his gavel, "This court will reconvene in four weeks.
The defendant is free to go until then, and the evidence presented here
today will be marked and sealed until then."

   The defendant looked bewildered.  "What happened?"

   Her public defender said, "I'm not real sure myself, but we'll need to
come back here in one month."

   Donna walked over to explain, "I bought you an extra month.  The fact
that the prosecutor cannot defend his laws is a good sign.  The Judge only
needs to know someone wants to be able to bare themselves in the next four
weeks."

   The woman looked shocked, "I was just changing my clothes in a deserted
parking lot.  I have no intention of running around naked.  Not for a
second, a day, and definitely not for a month!"

   Jim Salem came over to his daughter to congratulate her.  With a smile
on his face knowing he would eventually win, he said, "Seems you have no
one to express that right, and we'll just be back to where we were this
morning.  Effective argument and presentation.  Now get your clothes on and
go home.  You might run around naked on that campus, but not here."

   Donna said, "Sorry Dad.  I will win this decision.  Not only am I going
to go the month nude, but I will make some phone calls to some college
friends who will help me.  It is not that we want to go nude, but we don't
want the police deciding what we wear is decent or not.  The trouble on
campus is the inspectors do that, but there, it is not a legal matter, just
a campus code.  You would turn the police force into those inspectors and
have girls stripped down to prove their innocence.  I will not have that!"

   Jim Salem walked to the side door of the court room towards his office.
Sitting in his desk was the Judge.  They laughed.  Jim said, "I told you I
got her all wound up on this case."

   The Judge said, "So you think we'll have naked co-eds roaming the
streets soon?"

   Jim sat down on the sofa and said, "One can hope.  One can hope."

   The Judge said, "But getting other women to join is going to be
troublesome."

   Jim said, "Vanity.  All it will take is these ladies to see how much
attention the naked co-eds get.  I have it all set with the lodge members.
Perfect gentlemen, and appreciative, too."





   Fall out of the Court Decision

   "What are you doing?" I grabbed Lucy and pulled her inside my apartment.
"You can't go around town naked!  You'll get arrested.  Can't you just wait
until we get to the beach?"

   Lucy stood there grinning.

   I said, "What are you smiling about?"

   Lucy said, "Mary, you haven't been listening to the news or reading the
paper, have you?"

   I said, "If the world lost its mind, I think I had heard about it."

   Lucy said, "Turn on the news.  It is all over."

   I flipped on the TV, and sure enough, the newscaster was reporting on a
State Supreme Court Ruling last night.  They ruled it discriminatory to
allow men to go without a shirt, but not a woman.  It had to do with a
breastfeeding case.

   I said, "Good.  Makes no sense to not allow a mother to feed her hungry
a baby, but exposing a breast is one thing, Lucy, you are completely
naked!"

   Lucy sat down and put her feet up on my coffee table, knowing I hated
that.  I watched the news as the next segment started.  The State Attorney
General said, "Based on the wording of the Supreme Court's opinion,
exposing reproductive organs is restricted, and a woman's organs are
internal." The reporter asked if that really meant a female could go naked
in public.  He said, "Yes, and it seems we only have two recourses.  We can
find another case to bring for the Supreme Court to fix their opinion, or
we can address the issue in legislative session." The reporter asked how
long it would take, and he replied, "We know both will take months.  The
legislature is not even in session.  The Governor will have to call them
back, and that is a minimum of a month if one representative delays coming
to the Capitol."

   The reporter asked, "And another option is to do nothing, right?"

   The Attorney General said, "Philosophically speaking, yes, but not
politically."

   Lucy said, "I told you so."

   I waited for the commercial break to end.  The Attorney General said,
"We hope to have a remedy by Monday for the Court, but the reality is the
Court's sloppy opinion has left us exposed, so to speak.  Fortunately, lewd
behavior is covered under part of the code unaffected by yesterday's
ruling." He turned to look at the camera, "We will prosecute to the fullest
extent of the law possible for anyone thinking this is a free orgy
weekend."

   I clicked off the TV.  I flopped down on the chair opposite Lucy, "No
way!

   Lucy said, "You better believe it.  We have this weekend to play.  I
intend to take advantage of it.  We should not have to hide on the far
beach.  We aren't doing anything wrong.  This is our weekend to prove it!"

   I said, "I don't know.  And where did you come up with this 'our'
weekend bit?"

   Lucy said, "Mary, you are part of this.  You can't run away from this
opportunity.  I've heard you talk about the injustice over on the nude
beach.  All talk?"

   I told her, "This isn't the same thing.  Only females can go nude. 
Males still cannot expose their sex organs.  Isn't that what he said?"

   Lucy said, "Small steps.  I think we should get to the beach early and
talk to some others to see what they are planning to do."

   I said, "That is the first thing you said that makes any sense today. 
Okay, let's go and see what other have to say."

   Lucy said, "First, take off that cover-up.  You don't need it!"

   There was no stopping Lucy.  I had nothing to argue against her.  I
figured a quick dash to her car, and a short drive around the lake would be
fine.  It was legal, I guess.

   I tossed off my cover-up and picked up my beach bag.  I said, "If we are
going, let's go before I change my mind."

   Lucy was out the door in a flash.  I hurried to her car.  I stopped
halfway across the parking lot.  She had the top of her convertible down.
There's no stopping Lucy when she's on a roll.

   Lucy bounced into the car, "Ready to go?"

   I sat down shaking my head.

   As we pulled from the parking lot, we passed one of my neighbors, Mrs.
Phillips.  She smiled and say, "Oh to be young again." We waved, and Lucy
pulled into traffic.

   She passed the turn, and I looked at her.  She said, "Oh, need to stop
at the bank first."

   I was trapped, and I knew it.  I could only laugh.

   Lucy pulled into the bank, but rather than using the drive-thru, she
parked.

   I said, "Oh, Lucy, just go through the drive-thru so we can get going."

   She pulled out some papers, "I can't.  I need the manager's signature. I
have to go inside, but you are welcome to stay here.  I'll be back in
twenty minutes or so."

   Just then a pick-up with some kids in the back yelled out, "Hey, those
girls are naked over there!  Turn around!"

   I said, "I'm coming inside with you.  This was a mistake!"

   Lucy didn't think so, walking to the entrance, she said, "I can't wait
to see the manager's face when he sees us!"

   We walked in the door and suddenly shocked by the scene.  A bank robbery
was in progress.

   A masked man at the door said, "Holey shit!"

   A man standing on the desk spun around, and seeing Lucy and me, lost his
balance.  As he fell, his gun fired and hit the doorway masked man in the
arm, who dropped his gun.  The third robber tired crawling over the teller
counter, but slipped and fell on his face.  A guard and a customer dove for
the fallen robbers.  Lucy and I pushed the masked robber at the door out
the entrance where he hit his head and fell to the ground.

   WOW!  It took maybe five seconds.  Everyone was stunned.  Then the
police cars arrived with the TV vans right behind them.  Next thing I know,
we are giving the police our statements, and as we stepped back outside,
the TV cameras and reporters came rushing up to us.  We had to relive the
scene for them.  On the third station's 'exclusive' interview, Lucy
remembered she still needed the manager's signature.  I had to give the
last interview by myself.  Fortunately, Lucy came out just as I finished,
and we made quick to her car.  We were blocked by the police cars and TV
vans.

   Lucy said, "We need to use our new fame for the nude cause.  Let's give
them another interview.  They owe us!"

   Lucy made a great spokeswoman, and I made a backdrop.  One interviewer
called us the naked super heroines.  They were treating the nude movement
more like a joke, but Lucy stressed her points and I smiled a lot.

   I turned on my cellphone, and had like 20 messages.  I put it away.  Did
everyone spend their Saturdays watching the news?

   We had planned to go to the nude beach, but it was approaching noon. 
Lucy had other ideas, "Let's grab something to eat before meeting up with
the rest.  Okay?"

   A normal 'grab something to eat' meant a fast food drive thru, so i
agreed, but today nothing was normal.  Lucy pulls up to one of the nicer
restaurants on our end of town.

   I said, "Luce, you are pushing things.  Do you really think they will
sit us?  Get a grip on reality."

   Lucy said, "We have to test them.  If we assume they won't, then they
never have to address the issue.  But if we push it, they may turn us away,
no big deal, but we will have made our point.  Besides, when is the next
time you planned on eating here?"

   Getting kicked out of a restaurant that you never really go to is not a
big deal, right?  I knew Lucy was ready to make a big scene when it
happened, so I agreed.

   This was not a normal weekend.  We walked inside and the matre'd
immediately smiled.  The people waiting to be seated were shocked by the
appearance of two nude diners.  Lucy said, "Table for two, please."

   The matre'd said in a poor French accent, "We have a bit of a wait."

   Lucy said, "No problem."

   Then to my utter horror, Mr.  Pennison, the owner of my workplace, came
walking to the lobby, "Mary!  My wife thought it was you." He turned to the
matre'd, "Henri, these two lovely ladies foiled the bank robbery this
morning, please, it would be my honor for them to join me at my table."

   It was what Lucy said that got me moving, "You can stand in the waiting
room for 40 minutes, or go sit down and eat and be gone in those 40
minutes."

   The matre'd seemed pleased, too pleased.  He glided through the dining
room as Mr.  Pennison encouraged us to follow.  Henri made an announcement,
"Celebrities!  The two lovely ladies who triumphed over the bank robbers
just this morning." Several in the room rose and applauded.  One man was
pulled back down to his seat by his wife.

   I turned my focus on our table as Lucy waved to the crowd.  I said,
"Hello there, Mrs.  Pennison, nice to see you."

   She beamed up at us, "Oh, how exciting your morning has been.  You must
tell me all about it, but first, do tell me about going naked.  I'm afraid
I do not have the courage, nor would anyone want to see an old lady naked
in public."

   Mr.  Pennison was finishing holding our chairs as we sat down when he
said, "Oh, I think a few of us dirty old men would enjoy seeing that."

   Lucy went on about her nude movement and body type awareness.  I
couldn't help but feel the stares not only from everyone in the room, but
much more personally from Mr.  Pennison.

   We ordered a Mediterranean salad each, and then re-told the bank robber
story as many people listened.  Mr.  Pennison order a wine that made Henri
quite happy.  I took it as a very expensive one.  We enjoyed our meal and
wine, but also the conversation trying to avoid the bank and nudity.

   Lucy admitted to being 'between jobs' when Mrs.  Pennison said, "I've
been looking for someone to drive me around town, and help me keep to my
appointments."

   Mr.  Pennison beamed, "What a great idea!  Lucy, how would you like a
job working for us.  Mrs.  Pennison needs someone to get her around town,
shopping, doctor's appointments, and such.  We'll start you out at $10 an
hour, and if everything works out fine, we can make that more."

   Lucy said, "How much more?  A girl's has to pay rent.  And would I have
to wear one of those chauffeur's outfits?"

   Mr.  Pennison sat back, "I would think $15 an hour if you didn't wear
anything."

   Lucy said, "I'll take the job!"

   Mr.  Pennison said, "Of course, the higher pay would only be as long as
it is legal.  We'll settle in between once they correct the legal codes."

   I said, "$15 an hour?  That's more than I make."

   Mr.  Pennison said, "Mary, I'll give you a raise as well if you agree to
work in the office nude, at least until the law is changed.  Say 50% until
then?"

   Lucy answered before I could, "She'll do it!"

   I said, "Wait a minute, Luce.  I'm not so sure."

   Lucy said, "Didn't you listen to anything I told those reporters?  We
have to do this.  It is a rare opportunity.  Besides, if that lawyer guy on
TV is right, they'll start working to change the law on Monday."

   Mrs.  Pennison said, "Oh, this is wonderful!  Lucy, you come to work
with Mary on Monday morning, and Mr.  Pennison will give you the keys to
our car.  We'll make the day of it shopping."

   Mr.  Pennison laughed as he said, "Oh dear, this is going to cost me
much more than higher wages if she goes shopping all the time."

   Lucy said,  -�Perhaps not if Mrs.  Pennison decides to show off her
body, too.  Clothing costs can be next to zero for a nudist. -�