Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. >Jessa Meets Her Match by BPClavel Jessa Meets Her Match: Chapter 16: Stars and Stripes A short time later, I was in the living room of the Spencer -(TM)s cabin, gathering my things and cramming them haphazardly into my suitcase. I didn -(TM)t want to leave anything behind, and yet I knew I surely would. My hands were trembling. I was still reeling from Catherine -(TM)s abrupt departure. Kim walked into the room. Needing to focus on packing for the drive to Stonefield, I tried to ignore her. She stood watching me. It was awkward. At long last, she spoke, -Jessa, in my mind -(TM)s eye, I -(TM)m picturing exactly what you should wear tomorrow -- for the Fourth of July Parade and the Awards Ceremony. - I stopped what I was doing. Taking a deep breath, I looked up, both hands still on my suitcase. Remembering my resolve to achieve a more comfortable working relationship with her, I fought to keep my emotions in check. -Okay, I -(TM)m listening. - She smiled in appreciation. -Everyone has seen multiple images of you naked. - I stood up but shifted my eyes down to the floor as I waited for her to continue. I didn -(TM)t think she was going to propose that I ride in the parade naked. -The only non-nude images of you that the multitudes have seen are those from when you were wearing Nick -(TM)s blue officer -(TM)s shirt. You know, right after the arrest. - -You want me to wear Nick -(TM)s shirt? - -You -(TM)ll be easy to recognize. Unless you -(TM)d rather go nude. - I shook my head. I knew it wasn -(TM)t a serious suggestion. -Okay, I -(TM)ll wear the shirt. That is, if Nick doesn -(TM)t mind. - -He -(TM)s bringing it. I already asked him. - -So what else do you think I should wear? - I knew that she probably had it all worked out. -Here -(TM)s what I -(TM)m thinking. Wear the Stars and Stripes bikini. Over that, wear exactly what you had on when you stripped everything off to lead Nick and Officer Bixler into the house. Everyone has seen that outfit as well -- the video of you undressing behind the police car during the shootout. - Suddenly I was getting suspicious. Trying to stay calm, I turned, shifting my gaze toward the window. -The blue uniform shirt. I get that. But why does it matter what I have on under it? In the images you mentioned, it -(TM)s all I am wearing. Just Nick -(TM)s shirt and his belt cinching it up around my waist. - -I know, - she said, her voice soft and conciliatory. -Okay, I -(TM)ll level with you. Here -(TM)s what I have in mind -- I mean, have arranged. At the conclusion of the awards ceremony, the governor will invite me up to the podium. He -(TM)ll introduce me. He -(TM)s going to do us the honor of a short little plug for Heroes Everlasting. Once he -(TM)s off the stage, it will be time to raise a little money -- that -(TM)s what we do, you and I. - -Ask for donations? - -Well, yes -- but not exactly. I -(TM)ll conduct an auction. Actually, for it to be legal, we -(TM)ve engaged an auction firm. So next to me will be a licensed auctioneer. He -(TM)ll be the one actually conducting the auction. - -An auction? Of what? - I asked, turning my head and looking back at her over my shoulder. -First, we -(TM)ll sell the candy necklace. Mr. Winters of Winters Candy Company will be there. As the bidding climbs into the thousands, he -(TM)s going to jump the bid to one hundred thousand. - It was a big number, but it didn -(TM)t surprise me. Kim had already told me that he wanted to pay that much for it -" for the publicity -" a conspicuous donation to promote his company -(TM)s candy necklaces. She continued, -He -(TM)s even said that he might be willing to go higher -- if he has to. But he wouldn -(TM)t tell me his limit. Probably concerned that I -(TM)d arrange for a shill to run him up. - -Would you? - -The ends justify the means, Jessa. Putting kids through college -- that -(TM)s the name of the game. - -Let me guess. My clothes. - -Bingo! - Kim looked impressed that I -(TM)d figured it out. -I -(TM)m thinking Nick -(TM)s shirt will bring the most, several hundred thousand at least. Surely you -(TM)ve seen what stuff goes for on ebay -- the Dorito with the image of Jesus, for example. - -Wasn -(TM)t it a grilled cheese sandwich? - -Not sure -- probably. But there was a Cheeto shaped like a gorilla. Definitely remember hearing about that. - -So that -(TM)s why I -(TM)m wearing the bikini? You -(TM)re planning to sell everything else? - I asked, nervously picking up a shirt from the floor and shoving it into my suitcase. -As long as you -(TM)re alright with it. We should clear half a mil -- easy. Actually, I think we -(TM)ve got an outside shot at a million. - -A million dollars? I don -(TM)t think so. Not from the citizenry of Stonefield. - -You -(TM)re right about that. But people will be able to bid from anywhere in the world. The auction company is handling the details. They -(TM)ve been promoting the event to their clientele. There are already over a hundred people registered to bid online. And phone bidding -- that -(TM)ll be available, too. - -I -(TM)m not sure I like this. Am I supposed to strip on stage? Take off each item as it sells? - Kim reached for my arm, but I drew back. I -(TM)d already been an emotional wreck before she -(TM)d started talking. -Exactly! That -(TM)s the only way it works. How can we sell your blouse and shorts if Nick -(TM)s shirt is hiding them from view? - -And so I leave the stage in nothing more than the bikini? - -Actually, we need to talk to you about that. - I bit my lip, looking down at the floor. -Why am I not surprised? - I said, trying my best not to snap at her. -Here -(TM)s what I -(TM)m thinking. We let everyone know that you are planning to keep the bikini. After all, it wasn -(TM)t present during the arrest in Hammonton. But we tell them that you might be willing to let it go -- if the price is right. So then we take bids. - I inhaled sharply. -Are you serious? Auction off my bikini? - I paused to consider how ridiculous the idea was, but I was curious. -One half at a time or all together? - -I haven -(TM)t decided. What do you think would be best? - I was on the verge of losing my cool. -You -(TM)re crazy. I -(TM)m not getting naked on that stage -- any stage. - -And you don -(TM)t have to. But what if it -(TM)s a hundred thousand dollars -- enough for an entire four-year degree for some kid who lost their mom or dad at an early age? - I frowned at her, wrinkling my brow. -Kim, I -(TM)m not going to strip for money. I -(TM)m just not. If that -(TM)s what you and Brenda are imagining, then I might as well tender my resignation. Today. Right now, actually. - Kim stuck out her lower lip making a pout face, but after a few seconds, her expression brightened. -But if you take off the bikini, then you and Catherine can be together, sharing the limelight on stage. - -But -- she -(TM)s gone, remember? - -She -(TM)ll be back. I -(TM)m sure of it. She -(TM)ll be next to you the whole time, and when you take off the bikini -- you -(TM)ll see her. You -(TM)ll be together. Truly together. - I did think that could be a electric moment, Catherine and I suddenly back together -" reunited -" both of us naked on that stage, only I wasn -(TM)t going to do it. Kim -(TM)s words mostly served to remind me of Catherine -(TM)s abrupt, angry departure. -Forget it. Not stripping for money -- period. - Kim looked unfazed. -Okay then, we -(TM)ll just auction off the items that you were wearing on that momentous day. I won -(TM)t even call for bids on the bikini if there isn -(TM)t a number that would cause you to change your mind. - I frowned at her, shaking my head. -Not even one-hundred-thousand? Don -(TM)t forget, at two percent that -(TM)s two thousand in your pocket. - -Kim, listen. Stripping for money -- no matter who gets the money. Not going there. I intend to reclaim my dignity. Somehow. - I lifted my gaze and our eyes met. -Well, you can always change your mind, - she said, spinning on a heel and walking out of the room. Toward five o -(TM)clock, Brent still wasn -(TM)t home and we were ready to go, so Kim contacted him, arranging to swing by the print shop and pick him up. The four of us, Kim, Brent, Dirk and I, rolled into Stonefield about six-thirty. We rendezvoused with Nick at the Stonefield Inn. We didn -(TM)t have the same suite as before, but rather its twin at the other end of the hall. It was perfect as there were three bedrooms off of the communal area, one for each couple: Kim and Brent, Cathers and Dirk, as well as Nick and me. I had been giving thought to ditching everyone and spending the night with Nick -" just the two of us at his house a few blocks away, but I didn -(TM)t know how that would go over. Also, by staying where Dirk was, I -(TM)d find out right away if Catherine returned. I was optimistically telling myself that she would -" before bedtime, if not sooner. Our spat, what she -(TM)d gotten her nose bent out of shape over, it was all seeming so trivial. Kim ordered a selection of pizzas to be delivered, and Brent and Dirk headed out for alcohol. Dirk was excited about the prospect of beer. He -(TM)d gone on and on about how they administered drugs to people in the mental institution but wouldn -(TM)t let them drink. He wasn -(TM)t acting all that concerned about Catherine. I certainly was. I was feeling exceedingly bad about how my words had somehow led to a falling out. While we were waiting for dinner to arrive, I gave my mother a call. She sounded surprised but delighted to hear from me. I brought her quickly up to speed. A lot had happened since we -(TM)d last talked. Among other things, I -(TM)d accepted a job and was going to be the recipient of an award, from the Governor of Vermont, no less. She told me that they had plans to be at the parade as well as the awards ceremony. That comment, as well as the fact that she seemed to be acting surprised rather than truly surprised, had me thinking that someone had tipped her off. Nick instantly topped my list of suspects. I also learned they were bringing grandma. I was happy to hear that. I started trying to imagine how I might be able to again let Catherine and her sister have a little one on one time -" if Catherine was back. That would be difficult as it required my nudity, something that seemed impossible given that we -(TM)d be in town. But then I remembered Dirk. That would mean relinquishing my role as facilitator, which wasn -(TM)t a cheery thought. I -(TM)d enjoyed helping them reconnect, but it did seem like the practical solution. The forecast for the Fourth was for clear skies, but it started raining during dinner, forcing us to enjoy our meal indoors. I was on my second piece of pepperoni when Nick announced that he had a present or two. -First off, - he said, - --as Dirk embarks on his new life, he -(TM)s going to need a cell phone. So I got him one -- nothing fancy. He -(TM)s never owned one, he tells me. - With that, he reached down and pulled a small box from a bag sitting next to him on the floor, handing it to Dirk. There were numerous comments, all of them complimentary. Looking directly at Dirk, Nick continued, -The reason it first occurred to me to get you a phone, Dirk, is that I saw you talking to Catherine while a camera crew was interviewing the Governor -- outside the mental hospital. Those of us in the know are used to that. We see Jessa do it all the time, but you -(TM)re going to have to be careful if you don -(TM)t want people again questioning your mental health. So here -(TM)s the second part of your gift, earbuds. - He again reached into the bag. -I got you the corded version -- for visibility. They -(TM)re the perfect cover. With these in your ears and the phone in your hand, you -(TM)ll look like you -(TM)re on a call. - -You -(TM)re awesome, - I whispered, leaning so close that my lips brushed against Nick -(TM)s ear. Nick handed me a small unwrapped box. -And earbuds for you as well, Jessa. You talk to Catherine all the time. As it stands, your sanity is already being discussed. None of us want to see you get committed. I doubt you want to return to the mental hospital, certainly not as a resident. - I wrinkled my brow in disgust, but accepted the gift. -But I don -(TM)t do it in front of other people -- do I? I mean, people who don -(TM)t already know about my invisible bestie. - -Well, maybe a time or two. - -It won -(TM)t happen again. - Nick smiled and nodded. -Tomorrow there -(TM)ll be people, big crowds. Just to be safe, use the earbuds. Hopefully, like the candy necklace, they won -(TM)t count as clothes. - -No worries. I -(TM)m not getting naked tomorrow -- certainly not in public. - -Never say never, - he said with a straight face, but a hint of a twinkle in his eye. Everyone laughed. -She -(TM)ll be naked. Can -(TM)t help herself, - Kim interjected, a playful smile on her face. -Not happening, - I said confidently, crossing my fingers under the table top. I knew I would not be undressing, but even so, a shiver rippled along my spine. I certainly was hoping I knew what I was talking about. Unfortunately, Catherine didn -(TM)t make an appearance. That evening in bed, I again thanked Nick for getting Dirk the phone. -There -(TM)ll be a monthly bill, - I mused. -For the time being, it -(TM)s in my name. It -(TM)ll all work out. The important thing is helping Dirk land on his own two feet. - -Thank you, - I repeated, snuggling against him, my cheek resting on his muscular chest. A moment later, I was again stressing about the morrow. Even though I wasn -(TM)t sure I could go through with it, I was glad that Kim had shared her plans to auction off my clothes. Maybe down to the bikini. I certainly wasn -(TM)t about to get naked on stage. Even if nudity was allowed in Vermont, it didn -(TM)t need to be me -" absolutely not under that set of circumstances. I found myself thinking about what it would be like to strip everything off in full daylight -" in front of a crowd that would include my family -" my father and my brother among them. Ugh. Yes, I -(TM)d have to keep the bikini on -" probably the shorts too. After all, the stars and stripes bikini bottoms consisted of just a tiny wisp of fabric. An eye patch covered about as much skin. But picturing what that would be like wasn -(TM)t going to allow me to get some sleep. As a matter of fact, my heart was racing. I had to do something. I bent down and kissed the tip of Nick -(TM)s mostly flaccid unit, holding it softly in my hand. Sucking on something would likely get my mind away from my worries. A moment later, he had me by the shoulders, attempting to pull me back up. To discourage him, I gripped his balls, giving them a tight squeeze as I took some of his length into my mouth. Nick yelped, but then pulled me forcefully back up. -Please, Nick, - I begged, once we were again face to face in the dimly lit room. -Jessa, I -(TM)ve got other plans. For once, relax and allow me. - -Allow you to what? - I asked. Relinquishing control, especially in bed, was not something I did. -Just relax, - he repeated. I fell back onto my pillow as Nick climbed out of bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as he pulled his boxer briefs back up from where I -(TM)d just pushed them down. Unlike Nick, I -(TM)d gone to bed naked -" in hopes of seeing Catherine. A minute later, the room was bathed in soft candlelight. Nick had scattered a few tealights around the perimeter. Additionally, there was classical music playing. I couldn -(TM)t see where it was coming from, but it was a mellow, soothing selection. Nick approached the bed, a small bottle in his hand. -What is that? - I asked playfully, a smile on my lips. -Massage oil, - he said, kissing my forehead. -Here, do you like it? - He squirted a small amount onto his fingers and passed them under my nose. -Mmm, floral. - -Jasmine, this one -- but if it -(TM)s not your favorite, I -(TM)ve got others. Might you prefer clover, or possibly honeysuckle? - -The Jasmine, - I breathed in a barely audible voice. -Okay, then roll over. Your turn for a little pampering. - I answered with a smile -" a happy smile. Nick was managing a reset much better than another go at oral sex might have been. This seemed to be a new side of Nick -" a delightful discovery indeed. I felt the stress draining from my body as I allowed him the opportunity to work his magic. The oil was wonderful and his powerful hands were divine. I drifted among the stars on a silver cloud. My worries weren -(TM)t gone, and Catherine hadn -(TM)t returned, but those concerns were no longer forefront in my mind. Suddenly my life was again manageable -" thanks to Nick and his warm hands. It was a wonderful backrub, extending from my toes to my fingertips -" tender and romantic without being distractingly erotic. Twice I offered to reciprocate. -Another night, maybe, - had been Nick -(TM)s amorous reply. Somehow I drifted off to sleep. I must have been that exhausted. Hours later, a shrill scream, one full of anguish split the air. I lurched into a sitting position. I was sweating and felt as if I -(TM)d been punched in the chest, but all was quiet. The longest time passed before I was able to again breathe. It had been so loud, as if the person screaming had been in the room with us. I reached for Nick. His eyes were open. -Did you hear that? The scream? - He nodded. So it hadn -(TM)t been my imagination! -Had to have been Catherine, - I said. -She must be in trouble. - I started to get up, but Nick -(TM)s arms tightened around me. -Just relax. Everything will be alright. - -But Catherine. I -(TM)ve got to find her! - My eyes were darting around the room. -Jessa, the scream, - he said in a calming voice, - --it was you. A nightmare, I expect. - -It wasn -(TM)t me. It was Catherine! Something -(TM)s wrong. - He nodded sympathetically. -It was the scream that woke me up, but it was you. I can -(TM)t hear Catherine. I -(TM)ve never heard her, remember? - I looked at him. Why was he saying that? It made no sense. It had been Catherine! I was sure of it. I got out of bed. She was in trouble. I had to find her. After checking the closet, I wandered the suite looking for her. I went into every room, even peeking in on Brent and Kim. Dirk was asleep, loudly sawing logs. I searched the bathrooms. I was frantic, but she was nowhere to be found. I then checked the brightly-lit hotel hallway, calling her name several times. I made sure to keep a grip on the door. I didn -(TM)t want to get locked out, not at that hour, certainly not naked. A minute later, I was again on the balcony. Sunrise was a long way off, but the stars to the east were not as numerous nor as bright as those to the west. Leaning on the railing, I scanned the town below. In the back of my mind, I was conscious of just how exposed I was, and yet it was dark and that was the least of my worries. I had to be nude -" in order to be able to find Catherine. I thought of heading out in search of her, but the town was quiet. There was no movement anywhere, and I had no idea where I -(TM)d go. But then I started wondering -" might Nick have been right? I -(TM)d always been terrible when it came to remembering my dreams. Had Catherine screamed, but within a dream? Had she caused me to scream? Had we both been screaming? All unsettling thoughts. I was convinced she was in trouble. But she was a ghost; nothing could harm her. I sat down, my bare butt on the rough deck, my mind going a mile a minute trying to unravel what had happened. Only there were no answers. Even if Catherine -(TM)s scream had been in the context of a dream, that was no less a real scream than if it had happened while I was awake. Knowing that I needed my rest, I made my way reluctantly back to bed. All was quiet leading me to believe that Nick was again asleep, but he turned toward me as my head hit the pillow. A moment later, he had an arm around me. I angled my head, breathing in his masculine scent, trying to empty my head so that I might fall back asleep. When I next awoke, light was streaming in through the window. I got up and closed the blinds. After peeing and again searching for Catherine, I returned to bed. However, getting back to sleep seemed impossible. I lay there contemplating the curly-haired, self-assured cop next to me. Imagine -" me dating a cop -" and yet it had happened. But he was definitely attractive -" tall, dark, and handsome. He was not at all like the men (or women for that matter) that I -(TM)d been with in the past. He was a simple soul from the sticks. And yet Nick was a good man. I started thinking back over all we -(TM)d been through together. He -(TM)d tricked me a time or two, but he -(TM)d never intended me any harm. He was always there for me when it mattered. I contemplated his gifts of the prior evening as well as the luxurious backrub he -(TM)d treated me to. That had certainly been premeditated -" it wasn -(TM)t by chance that he -(TM)d had candles and massage oil in among his things. Suddenly it hit me -" I loved the man. And not because of anything he -(TM)d done. Because of who he was. There was no way to know if my love for him was as deep as what Catherine and Dirk shared for one another, but did it matter? Love was love -" wasn -(TM)t it? And as I lay there next to him, watching him sleep, I realized that I wanted to be with him -" probably always. I smiled, imagining the two of us together as old people, in rockers, no less. Growing old with Nick -" I could do that! The awkward moment he -(TM)d chosen to announce his love flashed through my mind. I smiled. The silly oaf! He -(TM)d since stopped talking of love. Had he given up on me or was he simply giving me time -" waiting -" hoping I -(TM)d come around? I smiled, deciding that I -(TM)d pick my moment carefully. I -(TM)d show him how it was done! I -(TM)d tell him, and soon, but not in front of others. I wanted it to be romantic. A sunset stroll on a tropical beach came to mind. That would be memorable. I watched the clock for an hour or more, but eventually got up. Fortunately, I had gotten some sleep -" just not a lot. After again wandering the suite and peering out into the hallway, I took a shower. Just in case, I shaved everywhere, front and back. I wasn -(TM)t planning on being naked, but I -(TM)d ended up naked part of every day for as long as I could remember, so looking my best made sense. Once Dirk was up, I went and talked to him. Had Catherine ever visited him in his dreams? He said she had. I tried fishing for details, but I decided not to mention the scream. He didn -(TM)t need to be worrying any more than he probably already was. Sadly, Catherine still had not returned. Would I ever see her again? I decided to not allow myself to think about how sad my life would end up being if that angry moment was destined to be the last time we were together. As Kim wanted me dressed a specific way, I allowed her to oversee the process. That was slightly uncomfortable, but I was realizing that I needed to get over it. It was going to be an uncomfortable morning. There was simply no way around that. I needed to go with the flow to the extent I could. Just as with the backrub, I need to relax and relinquish control. In keeping with that, I let her do my makeup. She put on more than I generally did, but I decided to smile and be okay with it. Makeup was the least of my worries. While Dirk and Brent headed off to stake out a premium spot along the parade route, Nick and Kim conducted me to the staging area. As Stonefield was small, it was within walking distance -" the large parking lot behind the high school. To my surprise, Brenda Sowers was there. She was talking to Governor Butch Adams and his wife, Tracy, as we came up. -Good morning, Jessa, - Brenda said, a broad smile on her face. After introductions, she announced that she had something for me. -Okay, - I said, doing my best to lay my suspicions aside. It turned out to be a sash, -~Heroes Everlasting -(TM) emblazoned upon it in golden block letters. -Yes, it -(TM)s an advertisement, - she admitted. -We need to establish a connection -- quickly -- while the world is watching -- between you and our noble mission. - A minute later, my phone rang. -Your earbuds, - Nick interjected, reminding me. As I popped them in, I noticed that it was a number I didn -(TM)t recognize. -Hello? - I said, in a reserved, slightly suspicious voice. -Jessa, she -(TM)s here! - It was Dirk. My knees went weak as my vision blurred from the tears suddenly stinging the corners of my eyes. I was too emotional to speak, but a few gasps escaped my lips. I felt Nick -(TM)s arm around my shoulder. A second later, he was conducting me away from the others. -Are you there? - Dirk asked. -I -(TM)m here, - I said, blubbering uncontrollably. -Tell her she -(TM)s on my shit list. Wait -- better not, - I added quickly. -She wants to see you. - -I want to see her. - Turning to Nick, I asked, -How long do we have? - -There -(TM)s time, - he said. -Not a lot, but enough. They always ask everyone to be here way early. - -Where are you? We -(TM)ll come to you, - Dirk volunteered. -A big parking lot -- the high school -- right behind, - I said, spinning around looking for landmarks. I noticed the football field. -I -(TM)ll be under the scoreboard. There -(TM)s a grassy slope, - I said, noticing that it looked to be sufficiently distant from the many people present. -Do you think you can find it? - There was a pause while he conferred with Catherine. -She knows where it is, - he replied. Nick went and spoke with Kim, and a moment later we were making our way toward the scoreboard. We had to stop for a quick photo and an autograph along the way, but it didn -(TM)t matter. It seemed as if we -(TM)d probably be there first anyway. -I can hang back, - Nick said, - --if you -(TM)d like some alone time with her. - -Don -(TM)t you dare, - I said, gripping his hand tightly. -I need you. And if I start to say something stupid, slap me. I can -(TM)t have her running off again. Besides, Dirk will be there. Has to be. No time or place to get naked. - -I can check if the bathrooms are unlocked, - he said pointing. -They -(TM)re there, just under the bleachers. - -There -(TM)s not time. - -Let me check anyway, - he said, pulling free and running off. I wanted to get naked -" to see Catherine. I needed to see her -" badly. It was going to have to wait. A moment later, he was back. -The bathrooms are locked, but you could go under the bleachers. - I frowned at him. -Contrary to what my mother probably thinks, I didn -(TM)t go in for that sort of shit -- not even in high school. - Less than a minute later, we saw Dirk hurrying in our direction. He looked to be alone. I smiled, knowing that he wasn -(TM)t. As he came up, I extended my arms and hugged him. I could tell he was feeling every bit as emotional as I was. -Catherine, thank God, - I said, trying to choose my words with care. -I missed you. I love you, probably more than you -(TM)ll ever know. Even if I fuck up, say something stupid -- know that I love you. Will always love you. - I didn -(TM)t know where she was, not exactly, but the angle of Dirk -(TM)s face gave me a pretty good idea. Looking at him, I could tell that he -(TM)d also shed a few tears -" tears of joy, no doubt. -Catherine wants me to tell you where she went, - Dirk remarked. -I don -(TM)t need to know where she was. I -(TM)m just glad she -(TM)s back. - -But she wants you to know. - -Okay, - I said, reminding myself to be as agreeable as possible. -She went to the prison. - -Really? - I was surprised. -She says that she decided that maybe you were right. That even though she doesn -(TM)t think there is a light, one like you spoke of -- That maybe she needed to try and find closure. So she says that was her best idea. To visit her killer. - -And do what? - -Just drop in on him. Maybe just to tie up loose ends, but possibly to confront him -- not that she thought she -(TM)d be able to. - -I like that idea, - I said, considering a direction that hadn -(TM)t occurred to me. -Scare the shit out of him! That would be so awesome. Was she able to? - Angling my face toward where I knew her to be, I repeated my question, -Were you able to? - -Apparently not, - Dirk continued. -When she got there, he had a visitor. Not in his cell, but in a visiting area -- so, he was talking to a young man -- through thick glass, using handsets. - -She actually went to see that asshole? - My mind was still trying to catch up. -Yes. That -(TM)s what she says. - -The visitor. Does she know who it was? - -Catherine says that she thought he was the killer -- her killer -- at first. - -That makes no sense. A young man -- her killer? - The conversation paused while Dirk listened. -What she -(TM)s saying is that he looks like the man who killed her. Much more than the actual killer -- because of his age, I suppose. - -Is that true? - I asked, looking toward where I knew Catherine to be. -But Cathers, you said you didn -(TM)t know what the man looked like. That you never got a good look at him. - I saw Dirk -(TM)s head bobbing almost imperceptibly as he listened to her response. -She says that seeing him reminded her -- rekindled memories, is the term she used. - -Other memories, too? - I interjected. Dirk returned to what he had been saying. -She says that she must have gotten a good look -- that night. But that it was so long ago. Or that she -(TM)d blocked it out of her memory -- due to how traumatic it all was. - -I get that. But this young guy. He can -(TM)t be her killer. She knows that, right? - -She -(TM)s thinking he -(TM)s his son. - I turned to Nick who had also been listening intently. -The murderer. Does he have a son? - He shook his head. -Not that I -(TM)ve heard. No offspring. No spouses or ex-spouses either. At least, not that we know about. - While I contemplated that, Nick continued, -We -(TM)re almost out of time. - He was looking back at the parade preparations. -Cathers, what were they talking about? - I asked, my curiosity piqued. Again we had to pause for Dirk to listen. -Cooking school, - came his reply. -She says that the young man must be a short-order cook, but that the other guy was telling him to go to school -- to become a chef. - -A chef? That -(TM)s really what you talk to a serial killer about? - After a pause, Dirk replied, -She missed the start of the conversation. Only heard the older man encouraging the younger one to follow his dreams. To make something of himself. - -And how did he respond? Is he going to become a chef? - I asked. -I guess what he said is that he sees himself a baker. A pastry chef. Imagines he -(TM)d like that more. - Nick pointed, reminding me of how little time we had. Given that we -(TM)d have to continue the conversation after the parade, I circled back to tell Catherine just how glad I was that she was back -" that she meant the world to me. -She says that she wasn -(TM)t going to miss the parade -- not even for a box of candy necklaces and a truck full of Damon -(TM)s Donuts. - I found myself laughing at her joke. That was just like her -" injecting humor where it was least expected. Dirk continued. -She says that in her dreams you and she are alive -- actually alive. You -(TM)re both little girls, the same exact age. And you -(TM)re riding matching pink bikes in the kid -(TM)s parade -- here in Stonefield. - My breath caught in my throat. Such a magical, fairy-tale-like image, full of happiness. But a split second later I was thinking about a different dream -" one that ended in a scream -" a blood-curdling scream loud enough to peel paint. I looked at Nick. His eyes told me that he knew exactly what I was thinking. He nodded as we reached a silent agreement to keep my nightmare to ourselves. As we were out of time, we mumbled a few hurried goodbyes and headed off in different directions, Nick and I back to the staging area and Dirk and Catherine off to where Brent was holding spots for them along the curb. Getting back to the convertible proved rather difficult. The number of people in the parking lot had increased dramatically. But more problematic than that was how they all recognized me, and then instantly were asking questions, trying to get me to stop and talk -" or take pictures. Finally Nick did what he had to; he squeezed my hand and started pulling me forward. That resulted in very limited conversations. Mostly, I just kept apologizing about how we needed to hurry, which was true, but I still felt bad. Eventually we were back at the convertible, a giant red relic from the gas-guzzler era complete with white leather seats. The Governor was busy. He had a ring of people around him. To my eye, they looked like other politicians, mayors, school board members, and such. His wife, Tracy, however -" she came right up to us, letting us know that they had figured out how to accommodate my request so that Nick could ride with us. I was delighted. I didn -(TM)t know whose spot he had been given, but I didn -(TM)t really care. Having someone in the car who wasn -(TM)t a stranger helped calm my nerves. Nick would take the passenger seat next to the driver. Tracy then explained that her husband Butch would be on the left, just behind the driver. I would be on the right and she would sit in between. The top was down, and we were to sit up on the back of the car, our feet down resting on the back seat. I was a bit surprised to hear that they -(TM)d discussed a seating arrangement, but I didn -(TM)t say anything. -Butch thought that you -(TM)d most likely be naked, - she explained, just a hint of a smile on her lips. -So he thought it best to have some separation. - -So that makes you our chaperone, I guess, - I quipped. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I was regretting them. Tracy chuckled. -Maybe one way to look at it. It -(TM)s the optics of the situation that were the issue. He definitely wants to be associated with you -" all the energy you bring to the state -" the positive way that many are now viewing law enforcement. But you are less than half his age -- I expect you see what I -(TM)m getting at. In short, a lot of photos will be taken today. He wants me in them. - -I get it. I don -(TM)t blame him, - I said, attempting to put her at ease. -If I may be so bold, why aren -(TM)t you naked? - she asked, looking into my eyes. I gasped. That was a new one. I was used to people asking the opposite -" why I had been naked. Deciding to ignore her question, I asked her to explain what, in her opinion, was expected of me. I knew that I was supposed to smile and wave -" elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, wrist. But I asked her to go into a little detail, and since she -(TM)d been in so many parades, to demonstrate what she thought would look most fitting. When she was done, she apologized for her question, obviously recognizing my dodge for what it was. I accepted her apology graciously, but I could tell that she was still hoping for an answer. One that I did not provide. She was a friendly, well-spoken woman -" exactly the sort of person that one might expect to find married to a governor. Just as the car exited the parking lot, embarking on the parade route with the five of us aboard, my phone rang. -You should just turn it off, - Tracy advised. Glancing down, I saw that it was Dirk. -Yes, I expect so, - I replied. -However, this might be important. - With my earbuds in, I took the call. -Hey Dirk, what -(TM)s up? - -Catherine changed her mind. She decided she wanted to ride in the parade rather than watch it. I know you can -(TM)t see her, but I thought you -(TM)d appreciate knowing that she -(TM)s there with you. - Emotion surging within me, I glanced around, wondering exactly where she might be. -Thanks for letting me know, Dirk, - I said as I ended the call. I leaned forward to whisper in Nick -(TM)s ear. -Catherine -- she -(TM)s here with us. - Unfortunately, I had said it a bit loud. -Catherine? Who -(TM)s Catherine? - Tracy asked. Fortunately, Catherine was a common name. I started trying to think up a white lie -" maybe something about how Dirk and I had a common friend and how she -(TM)d finally made it to Stonefield, just in time for the parade. Remembering what Nick had said about how no one would believe that there was a ghost, I decided to go with something much closer to the truth. -It -(TM)s bound to be a glorious day, - I started, - --but behind all of this -- my presence as well as yours in the Stonefield parade -- the award ceremony -- lies a great deal of sadness. - Tracy was looking deep into my eyes, glancing from one to the other, as I spoke. Given my bleary vision, I knew that they were pools of tears -" and likely red. I continued, -Dirk called me just now to remind me that Catherine is here -- in spirit. She -(TM)s with us today. I was born after she died. She was my grandmother -(TM)s younger sister. Dirk -(TM)s fianc(C)e. Tracy extended her arms around me. It was an open hug. -I understand, - she said compassionately. -I -(TM)ve seen a great deal about that in various news articles. - Once we had separated such that we were again looking at one another, I continued, -She was just twenty-five. That -(TM)s how old I am now. Coincidentally, we share a birthday. We were both born on the 20th of March. - -Really? March 20th? What an auspicious day. That actually explains a lot. - Again looking into my eyes, she continued, -The Pisces-Aries Cusp. - I paused for a second, puzzling over her comment, but then, without asking, I moved closer to her, such that our hips came into contact. Looking confused and slightly uncomfortable, Tracy shifted away, sliding closer to her husband. -If it -(TM)s alright with you, I -(TM)d like to imagine that Catherine is here with me today -- with all of us -- riding together with us in the parade. - Indicating the space that had opened up on my right, I continued, -It -(TM)s a big car. There seems to be room, so if you two are fine, I -(TM)d like this spot next to me to be for her. - Butch had been listening to the conversation. -By all means, - he said. -Catherine -- what was her last name? Same as yours -- Wilson? - -No, Catherine Marshall. Marshall was also my grandmother -(TM)s maiden name. - -Catherine Marshall, if you can hear me, - he announced. -By the powers vested in me by the Great State of Vermont, I dedicate this parade to you. To you and your venerated memory. - I saw that Nick was giving me the thumbs up sign, but I only glanced at him as I turned my attention to where I imagined Catherine might now be seated. -I love you, Cathers, - I mouthed. Tracy handed me a tissue from a box on the seat near her feet. -Okay, show time. Elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, wrist, - she said, looking out at the crowd and smiling. I nodded. A moment later, almost all of the makeup that Kim had so diligently applied to my face was on the tissue. It took me three more tissues, but by then I was beaming. Catherine was next to me! Surely smiling and waving just as I was! Never before had I wanted to rip my clothes off -" to be with her -" as badly as I did in that moment. Cathers was back! That I knew -" beyond a shadow of a doubt -" even though I still had not seen or heard her. That would have to wait.