Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 �>�MEATHEAD'S JENNY

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   Meathead's Block by Meathead Jenny and The Mauser by Meathead Jenny and
Ashley in Muy Gooey by Meathead Jenny and Ashley in Star Gazers by Meathead

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   Meathead's Block by Meathead



   They call me Meathead.  Most folks think of me as being slow or dumb.  I
am not particularly handsome nor do I have the body of a Greek god.  All of
my life I have been ridiculed or teased about the way I talk and the things
I do (and undo).  Perhaps, it was the bottle of bleach I drank when I was a
youth or maybe I just gave up trying to make it in today -(TM)s society. 
Whatever the case, I am capable of saying some really stupid things.  And
while my intentions are always honorable, my actions are often clumsy and
ill timed.  It is not surprising then most people consider me to be a
misbegotten creature and wouldn -(TM)t dream of trading placing with me for
all the gold in Fort Knox.

   And yet, another person might consider me the luckiest man in the world.
That is, of course, because the beautiful, but luckless Jenny lives on my
block.  She and her friend, Ashley, rent the flat next to mine.  Both of
them have given me a reason, albeit different reasons, to live.  As a
matter of fact, both Jenny and Ashley are responsible for giving me my
nickname, well sort of.

   It all took place at the annual neighborhood block party.  Everyone on
my block was there.  Old Mr.  Lawton was there with his wife.  She was
constantly tugging on his arm as he stared wantonly at all of the females
at the party.  First, there was Miss Kitty Bee.  A rather large German gal,
whose breasts were the size of lunch sacks.  Standing over the cooler, she
was wearing a loose fitting light brown smock.  Her bag-like milkers
pressed their rounded noses against the thin cotton material as she guzzled
a cold can of beer.

   Near the barbecue was Paquita Culito.  It was hard to tell which was
hotter --.  Ms Culito or the barbecue.  She was a Latin number who loved to
 -~accidentally -(TM) expose herself.  She was very proud of her body and
wanted everyone to know it.  She shamelessly wore tight revealing clothes.
Today she was attired in a tight elastic red top.  The elastic in the top
squashed her boobs together causing them to spill over the top.  Her large
pronounced nipples strained against the fabric and were slightly visible.
Her ultra-tight fitting pedal pusher pants detailed every contour of her
butt.  She abhorred wearing panties as they might conceal something.

   Next came the Volta sisters, Upa and Loa.  Upa was the older sister and
was a bit heftier than her sister.  Her breasts were enormous but unlike
Miss Kitty -(TM)s titties that hung straight down, Upa -(TM)s jugs were
large and round and resembled soft black leather pillows.  Her  -~pillows
-(TM) were contained in a tan colored halter-top.  Her fun bags strained
against the thin material as she leaned over to fish out a can of beer from
the cooler.  Blessed with a generous bosom, Loa -(TM)s most attractive
asset was her backside.  Tightly packed in blue jeans that were both frayed
and cut off, more than half of her ass hung deliciously outside of her pant
legs.  The contrast between the pale blue fabric and her smooth black skin
was something to behold.  Her butt shook like Jell-O when she walked.  With
the exception of the crotchety Mr.  Lawton, I was the only male in
attendance at the block party.

   I was minding my own business when two gorgeous women, one blond and one
brunette approached me.  Both were sharply dressed.  The shapely blond wore
a powder blue sundress that fit her perfectly.  The dress -(TM)s low cut
front accented the blonde -(TM)s ample bosom and graceful neck.  Her blond
ponytail hung to one side and spilled gently across the top of her jugs. 
The dark-haired one wore a white tube top that displayed her richly tanned
cleavage and form-fitting Lycra shorts that accentuated her lovely rear
end. Both had bodies to die for, and yet, all the attention seemed focused
on the comely blond.

   The blond extended her hand to me and with the most endearing smile I
had ever seen said,  -�Hi, I -(TM)m Jenny.  This is my best friend Ashley.
We -(TM)re new to the block.  We -(TM)ve come to the block party to meet
new people and make new friends.  What -(TM)s your name -�?

   I wanted to say something clever or witty.  I would have settled for
something cordial.  Instead, I said,  -�Me Ted -�.

   Ashley laughed aloud,  -�Meathead, you most certainly look like a
meathead -�.

   I was so embarrassed at my own faux pas my face turned bright red. 
Ashley continued to laugh at my blunder, but Jenny leaned her head to one
side (which caused the end of her ponytail to slip between her jugs) and
said,  -�I think he -(TM)s cute -�.

   Her tender smile and gentle blue eyes greatly eased my suffering and
just like a thousand men before me; I fell instantly and hopelessly in love
with this lovely blond girl.  Jenny stepped forward and warmly embraced me
with her sleeveless arms and then placed a kiss on my cheek.  I felt her
sweet breath on the side of my face and her breasts pressing against my
chest.  With mounting curiosity I peered over her becoming shoulder and
took a look-see down her backside.  The back of her summer dress was opened
slightly.  Open enough to provided me with a look at her back.  She wore no
bra and I could discern a pretty little pink ribbon atop her white thong
underwear.  I could have stayed in her arms forever.

   With genuine affection she said,  -�We are so happy to be your neighbor,
Meathead.  I hope we get to be good friends -�.

   With that said, she neatly spun around causing the hem of dress to rise.
My eyes traveled up her smooth thigh before the hem return to its former
position.  I stared intently as Jenny and Ashley walked away from me and
towards Miss Kitty and the beer.  The wiggle in their walk was captivating.
I knew from that moment on my meager existence had changed for the better.
I couldn -(TM)t wait until the next time we met.

   I did not have to wait long.  The very next day, unbeknownst to me,
Jenny had decided to go for an invigorating jog around the neighborhood. 
Her friend Ashley had pulled off an elaborate scheme to humiliate the
lovely Jenny.

   It was a hot summer afternoon and I had left the house to retrieve the
mail.  As I started for the mailbox, I heard a tremendous commotion.  When
I looked down the block I could just barely make out a female jogger being
chased by a pack of dogs.  She was running directly towards me and running
at what seemed to be a high rate of speed.  The dogs were barking wildly as
they nipped at her heels.  Several of the dogs had an article of clothing
in their mouths and were fighting over it.  As she came closer, I became
aware of the peculiar fact that this jogger wasn -(TM)t wearing a stitch of
clothing, albeit her white running shoes and white ankle socks.  Even with
her blond hair in a jostled mess and her eyes wide with panic, she was the
most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on.

   I first noticed her breasts bouncing madly about.  Judging from the
gyrations of her jugs, I estimated them to be sized at 38CC.  Although they
were definitely a matched pair, they did not move in unison.  Instead, they
seemed to operate independent of each other.  What I mean to say is that
when her left nipple was pointing straight down at the sidewalk her right
one would be pointed directly at the sun.  Then they would swap places. 
Also, her intense running would momentarily contort one breast into a
conical shape ending with her eraser-like nipple being stretched to its
maximum, while the other breast would take on a flattened shape.  A
fraction of a second later, both would assume completely different shapes.
My attention to her magnificent milkers was broken when I spied her golden
triangle.

   At first glance, my jaw unhinged and my tongue involuntarily forced it
-(TM)s way out of my mouth, much the same way the barking dogs tongues hung
out of their mouth.  Her pubic mound possessed both a magnetic and a
magical quality.  I tried to lift my gaze up to her face but to no avail.
It was as if her muff put out a tractor beam that grabbed me by the ears
and slowly pulled my gaze towards her furry box.  I was powerless to
resist. I sensed her desperateness and embarrassment, yet I continued to
gawk at all of her intimate body parts wiggling and jiggling in front of
me. I wanted to somehow help this gorgeous woman but instead I only added
to her embarrassment with my tongue-dangling gaze.  It donned on me to
simply turn my head away.  But I did not, could not.

   Close up, I could see her face was red with exertion and embarrassment.
Her eyes were filled with terror and tears.

    -�Help me, Meathead -� she said as she blew by me.

   But alas, I did not.  I was frozen in my tracks.  My eyes remained
transfixed to her well-developed charms while my tongue flapped aimlessly
in the wind.  I found the sight of this naked lady running towards me to be
very stimulating.  I was in for a special treat when my eyes picked up her
backside.  Her tanned back tapered gently down to her little waist.  The
tan stopped just north of the crack of her butt and started again about
three inches later.  Michaelangelo must have sculpted her bottom for it was
truly a piece of art.  Her tan continued down her naked legs.

   On the left cheek of her flawless white ass was a small trail of blood
left from the bite of the Great Dane who stole her jogging shorts.  A small
tuft of blond hair peeked out from the backside as her long athletic legs
frantically carried her home.  I felt both happiness and remorse knowing
her ordeal was just about over.

   Ashley stood in the doorway of their flat with a small white towel in
her hand.  She was laughing hysterically at Jenny -(TM)s misadventure.  It
was she who was responsible for dosing Jenny -(TM)s jogging clothes with a
roast beef au jus solution, which had caused the dogs -(TM) feeding frenzy.
How she loved to see Jenny humiliated and embarrass in public.  She
secretly despised Jenny.  She was a beautiful woman in her own right but
Ashley had the green eye of envy and wanted all that was Jenny -(TM)s.  She
decided to do whatever necessary to embarrass and humiliate the lovely
Jenny.

   As Jenny hit the landing, Ashley flipped the white towel high in the
air. For the first time since the ordeal began, Jenny came to an abrupt
stop.  She reached high with both hands to snatch the towel from the sky.
For one sweet, brief moment, Jenny -(TM)s breast stopped their frolicking
and came to rest with her crinkled nipples pointing slightly above the
horizon.  Her breasts resumed their rounded shape and her tummy went flat
except for her slightly protruding blond muff.  She rose up on her toes to
extend her reach for the towel.  The move pushed her bottom out
accentuating the backs of her long muscular legs.

   Even the dogs stopped their barking and watched as her beautiful body
hung momentarily in the air.  I found myself secretly wishing the towel
would never come down.  But alas, all good things must come to an end and
this tale is no exception.

   In the wink of an eye, Jenny caught the towel and duck inside.  Still
laughing loudly, Ashley spanked Jenny -(TM)s butt as she went by.  A high
pitched squeal was heard as Jenny -(TM)s comely bottom slipped out of
sight. Then Ashley looked at me and stopped laughing.

    -�Shows over, Meathead.  Go home and play with yourself, -� She said as
she pull the front door shut.

   Feeling the anger rise in me, I start for my front door.  Ashley made me
so mad.  First, she had disgraced the lovely Jenny and then she treated me
like dirt.  I marched back to my house and prayed for the day when the
Biker would let me have my way with that dark-haired hussy.  She would
surely rue that day.  But for now --.  I would give her recommendation my
full consideration.  Hey, what can I say there is a reason why the nickname
Meathead stuck.





  
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   Jenny and The Mauser by Meathead

   Jenny stepped up onto the hearth.  She reached up to retrieve the old
Boer's Mauser that hung so proudly above the fireplace.  Her well-endowed
bosom rubbed against the mantle as she extended her arms upward to secure
the rifle.  I sat directly behind her on the low couch and watched the hem
of her short blue dress travel north as she reached for the rifle.  More
and more of her athletic legs came into view.  She stood on her tippy toes,
and then, on one foot as she extended her body to its maximum length.  She
briefly struggled with the rifle, as I feasted my eyes on the backs of her
alabaster thighs.  As luck would have it, Ashley was there to help things
along.

   Ashley took advantage of the situation by reaching over and lifting
Jenny's dress until I could clearly see Jenny's dainty pale yellow
underwear.  Ashley tilted her head and took a long, slow look up the back
of Jenny's naked legs.  Then she turned her gaze to me on the couch.  She
gave me a look that immediately melted down my chubby.  She then dropped
the back of Jenny's dress and flashed an evil grin that sent a shiver down
my spine.  Jenny was too involved in retrieving the old Mauser to notice
any of Ashley's shenanigans.

   With the rifle in hand, Jenny presented it to me.  She bowed slightly at
the waist and extended her arms forward, cradling the heirloom.  Her
posture offered me a tantalizing view of her dairy farm.  "My great-great
grandfather captured it from a Boer in the siege of Ladysmith in South
Africa.  It's been in our Family for several generations and now I am the
curator", she said.

   I heard the words she was saying, but all that registered in my mind was
how her breasts seemed to jiggle back and forth with every word she
uttered. Mesmerized by the movement and proximity of her milkers, I
completely missed her next statement.

   "What makes this gun so special is the secret compartment in the stock
of the rifle.  The stock of the gun was carved out and held important
papers.  It was here, my great-great grandfather found the map detailing
the Boers' defenses.  For this, he received a medal and was promoted to the
rank of captain".

   She paused and held the rifle in front of me, giving me one last
opportunity to drink in all of her beauty and charm.  Her smile, bright
eyes and fleshy bosom beckoned me to reach out and touch her.  For a
moment, I considered copping a feel.  Then Ashley interrupted the moment
with " Meathead has gone gaga over you, Jenny.  "

   Her comment caused me a great deal of embarrassment.

   Jenny spun halfway around and stooped at the waist to lay the rifle down
on the low coffee table beside the couch.  I studied her backside as her
dress began exposing more and more of her lovely legs.  The sight of her
short dress greatly eased my pain and helped me forget about my own
embarrassment.  The ever-opportunistic Ashley was there again to raise the
dress of the unsuspecting Jenny.

   This time, Ashley pulled Jenny's dress as high as it would go.  Jenny
was less than two meters away from me.  I saw how the delicate yellow
fabric of her underwear had worked its way into her crevice leaving most of
her derriere exposed to my view.  I nearly gave up the "juice" when I spied
her blond pubic hair peeping out of the backside of her panties.  As Jenny
laid the gun on the coffee table, she teetered slightly, causing the cheeks
of her bottom to wobble.  This wobble had a "Jupiter effect" on me.

   "Can I stick my finger in your butt", I blurted out.

   My face was beet red before the last word left my mouth.

   Ashley spewed a mouthful of beer across the room, as she dropped the hem
of Jenny's dress, and sputtered, "Whatever for?"

   "Meathead is just like all of the other guys I show this rifle to --
they all want to put their fingers in the secret compartment", Jenny said
as she return the gun to me for inspection.

   "Sure you can!  Just this once!" She laughed.





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   Jenny and Ashley in Muy Gooey By Meathead



   The monthly block parties in Meathead -(TM)s neighborhood were widely
attended.  > Tonight was the much ballyhooed talent competition.  At stake
for the winner of the contest was Meathead -(TM)s 10-year old high school
football trophy.  All the contestants took the competition seriously (some
more than others did).  Ashley felt confident she would win tonight.  She
had never entered into a competition where she did not walk away with the
judge and first place.

   Jenny, on the other hand, felt a nervous ping in her stomach as she
slipped on her dainty panties.  The see-through lace on the front of her
panties did little to conceal her blond bush while the thong in back
slipped between the cheeks of her bottom and out of view.  She stood
half-naked and looked at herself in the mirror,  -� I wonder what will
happen tonight -� she murmured out loud.

   She hesitated before picking up an old lumpy over-sized sweater that she
had planned on wearing for her act in the competition tonight.  Instead she
grabbed the lightest, most revealing dress she own and held it against her
semi-nude body.

   Again she looked into the mirror,  -�Yes, Oh Yes -�, she said excitedly.
 -�I will give it my all tonight and knocked  -~em all dead -�, she said as
she pulled the chiffon-like dress over her slender physique.

   At precisely 8pm, the talent competition began at Meathead -(TM)s pad.

   Mr.  Lawton went first.  He had decided to recite Alfred Lord Tennyson
-(TM)s poem  -�The Charge of the Light Brigade -�.  It started off all
right, but it went to pot soon after.

    -�Half a league, Half a league Half a league onward -� he started. 
-�Into the cleavage of death Rode the six hundred, -� he continued.

   There were no literary giants in the room and his mistake went
unnoticed. But if the crowd had missed his first blunder they would not
miss the next.

    -�Charge for her guns, -� he said.  His eyes gazing at the buxom Ms. 
Paquita Culito.

   Mr.  Lawton stared longingly at Paquita -(TM)s brown-skinned bosom.  She
was wearing a short white cotton shirt that hung loosely off her shoulders.
Her jet-black hair cascaded down onto her shoulders and spilled invitingly
across the tops of her breasts.  A strapless black shelf-bra made of fine
lace did little to stop her jugs from jiggling whenever she moved about. 
Barely hidden by the bra, her dark brown areolas ached to be free.

    -�Check out her hooters will ya -�, Mr.  Lawton continued.

    -�Hey, that -(TM)s not Tennyson -�, Interrupted Ashley.

   Indeed, it was not Tennyson.

   Bad form Mr.  Lawton!

    -�Sit Down, -� shouted Mrs.  Lawton, as she dragged her husband by the
arm from the stage back to their chairs.  Slobber fell from his mouth as
returned to his seat, his gaze steadfastly transfixed on the comely Culito.

   Next was Miss Kitty Bee.  For her talent, she had decided to sing 
-�Edle Viss -�.  She was, you might say, a large woman.  Shrouded in an
oversized muumuu, the generously proportioned Miss Kitty was of German
decent.  Two buttons at the shoulders fastened her pink muumuu.  The
buttons were in the shape of butterflies and were brightly colored.  She
did not fancy wearing brassieres although her breast size warranted it. 
Years and years of not wearing her  -�boulder holder -� had left her
titties looking like a pair of lunch sacks.

   Before she sang a single note her act fell apart.  As she made the
introductory curtsy, she farted.  She might have gotten away with it if it
had been a dainty one.  But no, she laid down a full-fledged
flutter-blaster.  The entire audience gasped.  Miss Kitty -(TM)s face went
crimson.  She would not be able to continue.  She took off on a dead run
for the bathroom.  Her bag-like milkers lagging behind her as she ran.

   After a brief intermission, the talent show continued.  I started the
overhead fan and an oscillating fan to freshen the air in the room.  It had
definitely taken on a sausage and beer seasoning.

   Juan Nought, better known to his friends as Onenut, was due up next. 
Now Onenut was as worthless as  -�tits on a boar -�.  There was absolutely
nothing redeeming about him except for one thing.  Hooked to his belt there
was a small white rabbit -(TM)s foot.  Now it is said that this rabbit
-(TM)s foot helped bring about whatever Onenut wishfully thought of.

   I don -(TM)t really know if this power really emanated from the lucky
token or not.  All I know is funny things would occur whenever Onenut began
rubbing the lucky charm.  Anyway, for the talent show, Onenut had decided
to perform the only trick he knew: how to make farting sounds by clapping
air under one -(TM)s armpit.  Maybe his act was positioned too close to
Miss Kitty -(TM)s or maybe it just wasn -(TM)t funny.  Only Onenut snorted
with laughter after  -�ripping off a few -�.  The crowd looked horrified
and then began chanting  -�Sit Down -� immediately after his first
demonstration.  With a furrowed brow, Onenut took his seat.

   Next up was the comely Culito.  She planned to dance for her talent in
the show to Santana -(TM)s  -�Ella -� off of his Supernatural album.  The
full title is  -�Ella baile la Portegasa -� (She dances the Portuguese). 
Paquita wore a white cotton shirt, which hung, loosely around her shoulders
and a bright red dress with dark nylon stockings.  A red silk scarf was
tied around her forehead and was partially covered by her jet-black hair.
Paquita -(TM)s dark black eyes sparkled mysteriously at the audience as the
music began.  She pursed her ruby red lips together and threw a mock kiss
at the crowd.

   Paquita began her dance slowly, moving around the room in an undulating
fashion.  Every once in a while she would shake her naked shoulders
invitingly at the audience, causing her mountainous breasts to sway from
side to side.  As the tempo of the song picked up, so did the rhythm of her
dance.  Her dancing mesmerized the audience.

   She reached down with both hands and grabbed a handful of her bright red
skirt.  Slowly she lifted her skirt up until it past her nylon-encased
knees.  All the while, she continued to danced to the Latin rhythm and to
shake her shoulders tauntingly at the crowd.

   Paquita -(TM)s blouse began to work its way off of her shoulders.  This
caused her to elevate her elbows higher.  As she raised her elbows higher,
to slow the descent of her blouse, the hem of her skirt rose higher and
higher also.  It went past the tops of her dark nylon stocking and then
continued past her red garter belt and matching undies.  She stopped
lifting her hem when everything below her navel was clearly exposed to
everyone in the room.

   I know this Latin beauty wanted to let go of the hem of her skirt and
preserve her dignity but for some strange reason she could not.  I glanced
over in Onenut -(TM)s direction and saw him running his thumb over the
rabbit -(TM)s foot as he intently watched Paquita -(TM)s jugs tap out a
Latin beat.  Her dark areolas were starting to come into view.

   Tired of holding them up, she let her elbows drop, just a bit, but this
resulted in her blouse dropping below her shelf bra exposing the tops of
her  -�guns -�.  Back up went her elbows and along with her elbows went the
hem of her skirt.  Back down went her elbows in a vain effort to cover her
lower torso.  Her blouse slipped down even further.  Now her guns,
inadequately covered by her lacy bra, were starting to spill out.  Back up
the elbows went and the crowd was treated to another view of her red lacy
undies.  Her panties were beginning to work their way into her crack.  The
coal black downy-like muff hairs were peeping over the top and out of the
sides of her fiery red panties.  All the while she continued dancing the 
-~Portuguese -(TM).

   Finally, exhausted, she dropped both elbows to her side.  Down went her
blouse.  It ultimately settled around her midriff, handcuffing her forearms
to her waist.  For the first time since her performance began, Ms.  Culito
-(TM)s embarrassed chin dropped to her chest and she leaned slightly
forward.  It was then that both  -�guns -�, as Mr.  Lawton so delicately
put it, popped out of their holsters.  All she could do was look at the
crowd in an embarrassing way.

   Her chocolate colored nipples were as long as her full name (which was
Paquita Anna Maria Guadeloupe Culito).  They were taut with excitement as
they tipped southward.  Her dark areolas were the size of dollar-sized
pancakes.  Unable to raise her arms to cover herself she trotted off the
stage towards the front door.  Bouncing up and down, her jugs with the
incredibly long nipples pointed out her escape route.  I had never seen
anyone dance the  -�Portuguese -� before Ms.  Culito did.  I cannot wait to
see it danced again.

   Next up was the beautiful Ashley.  She was an accomplished violinist and
for her talent she would play Beethoven -(TM)s 9th.  Elegantly attired in a
long black silk dress with her hair in a bun, she looked absolutely
radiant. Her strapless gown allowed everyone to view her naked shoulders
and her delicate neck.  She was a very beautiful woman and the lightweight
silk dress complimented her womanly form.

   Ashley placed the violin under her chin and raised the bow to a starting
position.  What she did not noticed was a small black silk thread had
become entangled with her bow.  I looked at Onenut and saw him vigorously
rubbing his rabbit foot again.  As she started out, we watched the bow go
back and forth across the violin, playing beautiful music while undoing the
left seam of her silk dress.  Ashley first noticed something was amiss when
the oscillating fan blew the bottom half of her silk dress across both of
her legs.  She sat in a comfortable  -�V -� position with her knees
slightly spread apart.  Her sitting posture allowed the audience to glimpse
the brevity and sheerness of her panties.  Being the consummate musician,
she continued playing undeterred.

   Ashley felt the level of panic rise within her when the bodice of her
silk dress began to unravel.  The cool air from the fan ran across her
navel and made it damn near impossible for her to concentrate on playing
the violin.  She began to play faster.  Ashley raced for the finish, but
the thread in the seam ran out first.  With her elbows held high, she
played on.  The fan returned once more to blow the bodice of her silk dress
away from her graceful body.  There she sat clad only in her sheer panties
and black high heels, playing defiantly.  Her erect brown nipples staring
back at the audience.  They reminded me of little conductor -(TM)s batons
as they tried desperately to keep up with her bow.  Ashley kept her eyes
half-closed and her chin elevated as she near the finish.

   When Ashley was finished playing, she stood up with her back straight
and acted as if she was still elegantly attired.  She slowly opened her
eyes, splayed her arms wide, and then took a deep waist bow.  The slow
waist bow caused her breasts to adopt conical shapes as the showed their
pale-white bellies to the lights.  The full-length mirror directly behind
her revealed her gorgeous lower torso.  Her panties contained but did not
conceal her beautiful backside and her long legs.  My discerning eye
located her pink pussy lips surrounded by a well-manicured muff.  Ashley
held her bow for a long moment and then returned to an upright position. 
She flashed an exasperated smile at the crowd.  We were too busy studying
her sheer panties to notice her smile.  Ashley -(TM)s next-to-nothing
panties confirmed what everyone thought was her shaving preference.  (She
sported a neatly trimmed bush).  Without a trace of embarrassment, she
turned and picked up what was left of her dress, treating the audience to a
delicious view of her backside and exited stage left.  Her defiant titties
lead the way.

   Ashley -(TM)s performance had left the audience breathless.  After a
salubrious squirt in my trousers, I was ready for the next act.

   The Volta sisters, Upa and Loa, were a study of contrasts.  Both were
beautiful women with skin the color and texture of black velvet.  Upa, the
older sister, was a bit heftier than her younger sister and blessed with a
huge rack.  So massive were her mammary glands that she could not see her
own feet when standing upright.  Upa also had a bit of an attitude.

   Loa, on the other hand, had the most pleasant disposition and the
sweetest smile.  While her rack was not as impressive as  -~Big Sis -(TM)s
-(TM) was, still she sported some real  -�Jim Dandies -�.  From the
backside, Loa had it all  -~goin on -(TM).  Her cute bottom cried out 
-�SPANK ME -�.  And when she walked, it shook most invitingly.

   They were to perform the gospel tune  -�Amazing Grace -�.  Both were
dressed in purple silk choir gowns with long braided rope belts tied around
the middle.  Neither wore anything underneath the gown except for white
cotton underwear.  The plan was for each of the sisters to alternate
singing each of the different verses of the song, but after Upa finished
the first verse she refused to yield the microphone to her younger sister.

   Perplexed by her sister -(TM)s actions, Loa, at first smiled weakly at
the audience and then mischievously.  Unaware of her sister's wicked plan,
Upa continued singing the second verse of the song.  Loa, on the other
hand, surreptitiously lifted the end of her sister -(TM)s rope belt up high
above her head where it caught hold of the blade to the overhead fan.  Upa
was in the middle of the third verse when the rope belt she was wearing
went taut.  The force of the fan began to swing Upa around the room faster
and faster.  The centrifugal force placed an unbearable strain on Upa
-(TM)s outfit.  Finally, it gave away.

   Upa was launched, free of her gown, towards the audience.  Out of
control, she whirled like a spinning top, her massive milkers a full count
behind the rest of her.  She landed on top of Juan, nearly knocking him
unconscious and breaking his  -~death -(TM) grip on the white rabbit -(TM)s
foot.  Now most people would have died from embarrassment but not Upa. 
Instead she picked herself up and then turned a most malevolent eye towards
her younger sister.

   Loa gulped and then started to run for the front door, for she had seen
and felt her sister -(TM)s wrath many times before.  Upa caught her little
sister by the cornrows and drug her to the middle of the room.  Loa was
kicking and screaming all the way.  She pulled her little sister across her
lap and lifted Loa -(TM)s gown, exposing her white cotton underwear and her
gorgeous bottom.  Loa pleaded with her sister to be let go, but Upa was in
no mood for forgiveness.  She began to rain down a series of spanks on her
sister -(TM)s poor bottom.  Loa kicked wildly and squirmed right out her
gown but it was still not enough for Big Sis.  Pulling her sister -(TM)s
underwear down to her knees, Upa continued to spank her sister -(TM)s
behind.  Finally satisfied that her little sister -(TM)s humiliation was
completed, Upa released her grip on Loa -(TM)s hair.  Loa tumbled away from
her sister and landed in the middle of the floor with her knees apart and
her white cotton underpants tangled around her ankles.

   Elephant size tears fell from Loa -(TM)s face as she tried
unsuccessfully to right herself.  Her anger extinguished, Upa began feeling
sorry for  -~lil sis -(TM) and when to her sister -(TM)s side.  Upa leaned
over to help her sister get up, her massive milkers blotting out my view of
Loa.  With their dairy farms melded together, the Volta sisters rose to
their feet.  Upa kindly stooped over once more to return her sister -(TM)s
underwear to their rightful place, but not before I had a chance to take a
gander at Loa -(TM)s nappy muff.  Most curious I thought to myself.  The
two sisters exited the stage arm in arm clad only in their matching cotton
underpants, Upa -(TM)s gown still circling above.

   I spasmodically shuddered as I creamed my jeans again.

   Jenny was due up next.

   Earlier that same evening when Jenny had first arrived, I was there to
greet her and take her wrap.  She warmly greeted me and then turned around
and began removing her wrap.  I closed within inches of her and extended my
hands around her shoulders to assist her with the removal of her shawl. 
Her perfume filled my nostrils as her ponytail touched my chest.  God, she
was beautiful!  She was wearing a light blue summer dress with very thin
spaghetti straps.  Her dress was low-cut in the front and the back,
allowing me to view her delicate neck ad her ample bosom.  She looked
stunningly beautiful tonight!  She turned to face me and with a demure
smile said,  -�I have been waiting a long time for this evening, Meathead.
It is so good to see you again -�.

   I wanted to say something romantic as I looked deeply into her blue
eyes. I wanted to let her know that I thought she was the most wonderful
thing on this beleaguered planet.  Instead, the words  -�Nice hangy
downers, Jen -�, awkwardly stumbled out of my mouth.  My face began to turn
red as I weakly pointed to one of the small hoop-earrings she was wearing.
Jenny studied her own bust-line for a long moment and then slowly raised
her eyes until she was looking directly into mine.  Without acknowledging
my blunder she replied,  -�They are very nice, aren -(TM)t they, Meathead
-�.   -�Would you like to touch one of them -�?

    -�Thar She blows, -� I thought to myself as I blew my load into my
BVDs.

   For her talent, Jenny chose to sing Patsy Cline -(TM)s  -�You belong to
Me -�.

   As she bowed before the crowd, she paused, just for a moment, giving the
audience an opportunity to study her pale neck and bosom and also allowing
the oscillating fan to lift the back of her chiffon dress.  Groans in the
crowd could be heard as Jenny -(TM)s nearly naked bottom came into view in
the mirror directly behind her.  She held her bow and then return to an
upright position and began with:

    -�See the Pyramids up along the Nile, Watch the sunrise on a tropic
isle, Just remember, Darling, all the while, You belong to me -�.

   The crowd began to grow restless.  Hoots and hollers started coming from
this biker-looking bloke in the back of the room.  I also noticed a strange
looking man standing next to a half-opened window.  He had the rough look
of an outlaw.  Around his forehead he wore the distinctive Apache warrior
-(TM)s headband.  (The warriors were only allowed to wear such headbands
when they were on the warpath).  Jenny never seemed to notice as she
continued on:

    -�See the market place in Old Algiers, Send me photographs and then
souvenirs, Just remember when a dream appears, You belong to me. -�

   Ashley sensing a disaster began booing Jenny -(TM)s performance.  A
well-dressed gentleman, standing directly behind her kicked the back of her
chair causing it to collapse to the floor.  Ashley tumbled to the ground. 
-�She has caused quite a ruckus.  Does anyone cotton to this belle -(TM)s
ways -� drawled the southern gentleman.   -�Allow me to get back to my
ogling -�, demanded the gentleman as he slipped his jacket over Ashley
-(TM)s head as she made an attempt to stand up.  Jenny never seemed to
notice as she headed for the last verse.

    -�Fly the ocean in a silver plane, See My Jungle when it -(TM)s wet
with rain, Just remember  -~til you -(TM)re home again, You belong to me.

   As Jenny finished her song, she took one final bow.  Again she allowed
everyone to gaze at her delicate shoulders and beckoning cleavage.  And
again, the fan returned to raise her dress exposing her long legs and the
pink ribbon atop her panties in the mirror behind her.

   The half-dozen men in the room were clapping enthusiastically and
yelling hooray.  Each of them was sporting a wet spot on the front of their
trousers.  It wasn -(TM)t hard to tell who they thought had won this talent
show.

   That -(TM)s when I pulled the boner of trying to award the first-prize
trophy.  Acting impulsively, I made my way to the stage area and handed
Jenny the trophy.  Holding it high above her head, I started to say,  -�We
all think you are the greatest -�.  But it was drowned out by Miss Kitty
-(TM)s remark,  -�Das es verboten!  Das es verboten!  And then all hell
broke loose.

   Everyone in the room seemed to rush the stage at the same moment.  Poor
Jenny did not have time to return her arms to her side before Miss Kitty
tore the front of her lovely chiffon dress.  This caused Jenny -(TM)s
creamy white milkers to bob about.  Miss Kitty proceeded to put Jenny in a
headlock and parade her around the room.  It was none other than Ashley who
tore off the remaining part of Jenny -(TM)s dress and started spanking
Jenny -(TM)s exposed rump.  In a vain effort to save Jenny, I tore off Miss
Kitty -(TM)s muumuu.  I fell to the floor with the muumuu in hand as
pandemonium broke out.  That -(TM)s when the Indian-looking outlaw-fellow
doused the lights.

   What happened next, I really can -(TM)t say.  Except that a pile of
bodies began accumulating in the center of the room with me at the very
bottom.  What I can do is describe some the sounds and noises I heard as I
lay at the bottom of the dog pile.  There was the sound of clothes being
rented as the girls did combat with one another.  There was a loud clapping
noise as Upa spanked Jenny -(TM)s bottom and the accompanying wailing as
Jenny received her strokes.  There were the hearty laughs of the males as
they joined in the frolic and the surprised gasps by the females as they
found out the males had joined in the frolic.  I could hear the
biker-looking dude making  -~motorboat motor -(TM) sounds with his mouth
and the Volta Sisters -(TM) body parts.  One could also hear Mr.  Lawton
humming the William Tell Overture as he pulled on Ms.  Culito -(TM)s guns.
It stayed that way until the police arrived.

    -�Stop in the name of the law, -� shouted Officer O -(TM)Malley as he
switched the lights back on.  The Indian-looking fellow had long slipped
out of the window he had slipped through earlier and into the night. 
Everybody else came to a sudden stop.  I was on the bottom of this enormous
pile of bodies.  Laying flat on my back, my right hand was encumbered in
Miss Kitty -(TM)s midriff folds, while my left hand had become hopelessly
ensnared in Ashley -(TM)s underwear.  I could not move a muscle (well maybe
I could move the little finger on my left hand around a little bit).

   Situated directly above my face was Jenny -(TM)s golden muff.  The light
filtered through her legs and blond pubic hairs and on to my face below. 
Somehow in the ruckus Onenut had become detached from his lucky charm.  It
had resurfaced and had somehow become wrapped around my right ear.  It was
the biker-looking dude -(TM)s big toe that came into fleshly contact with
the rabbit -(TM)s foot and ignited its charm.  I felt a small bolt of
lightning travel from one ear to another.  And then I noticed that Jenny
was starting to get a  -~wide on -(TM) with a small droplet of her nectar
forming on the  -~little man in the boat -(TM)s forehead.  Again the biker
-(TM)s big toe struck the lucky charm and once again I felt the lightening
in my brain.  Jenny -(TM)s nectar began to accumulate until gravity would
no longer hold it to her body.  The droplet started its downward journey.

   I sprayed my shorts for the last time that evening as the droplet melted
into my moustache.  The next thing I saw was Officer O -(TM)Malley face as
he looked down between Jenny -(TM)s legs.   -�Is that you, Meathead -�, he
asked.  I could only grunt my affirmation.

   It took an exceptionally long time to disentangle all of the bodies in
the dog pile.  Mr.  Lawton did not want to let go of Ms.  Culito.  The
biker dude had become inexplicably wedged between the Volta Sisters and the
southern gentleman had Ashley -(TM)s head buried in his trousers.  How it
all came about I haven -(TM)t the foggiest clue.

   The biker dude did most of the explaining to the police.  After a stern
warning, they let us go.  The last one to leave that night was Juan Nought.
As he walked out the door he remarked,  -�I think it -(TM)s been a muy
gooey affair, Senior -�.

   I could only nod my head(s) in agreement and look forward to the Fourth
of July block party next month.





   -----------------------------------------------------------------------

   Jenny and Ashley in Star Gazers By Meathead



    -�Help me set up the telescope, Meathead -� Jenny said as she opened
the sliding door to the deck,  -�I want to show you something very unusual
-�.

   Now I don -(TM)t fancy astronomy too much but I do like this girl Jen.
Tonight she was wearing the lightest of summer dresses.  The light blue
sundress was open in the back and tied around her slender neck.  The front
of the dress sloped into a vee while the front panels formed neatly around
Jenny -(TM)s well-endowed bosom.  Her bosom was so bountiful that most of
her breasts lay outside the confines of the dress -(TM)s panels.  So light
and wispy the dress -(TM)s material that a gust of wind, let in by the
door, lifted the hem and gave me a fleeting opportunity to gander at her
lovely legs.  The wind also pressed the fabric against her skin so I could
see the outline of her curvaceous body.  The light fabric was smooth
against her taut stomach and I watched intently as her nipples hardened
under it.  She was easily the prettiest girl I had ever seen.

    -�Be a dear and help me with the legs of the stand -� She asked with a
smile so pleasant I was powerless to resist.

   I was  -~spreading the legs -(TM) of the telescope stand as Jenny
simultaneously tried to attach the telescope to the stand.

    -�Hold it still, Meathead -� she said as struggled with her precision
instrument.

   She stood very close to me as I worked on my knees to assemble the
stand. As I looked in her direction a gust of wind lifted the front of her
light blue dress and neatly deposited it over my head.  I couldn -(TM)t
believe my luck!

   Here before my very eyes were the most transparent pair of panties I had
laid eyes upon.  Although the sun had set and the light was quickly fading,
I could still clearly make out her blond pubic hair softly matted down by
the lacy fabric.  Mesmerized by her muff, I tilted my head under her skirt
to gain a better  -~look -(TM).

    -�Ahem!  I don -(TM)t think we -(TM)re gonna find any stars under
there, Meathead! -� she said still struggling with the telescope.

   My face was beet red as I withdrew my head from under her skirt and
looked her in the eye.

    -�I -(TM)m sorry Jenny --I didn -(TM)t mean to --.  I mean, it wasn
-(TM)t my fault -� I offered in a fumbling way.

    -�Forget about it! -� she replied,  -�Just get on with it.  This
telescope is heavy! -�

   It wasn -(TM)t easy for my brain to leave the heavenly sight I had just
witnessed under her dress and return to the task at hand but somehow I
prevailed.

   Finally we assembled the telescope and then we waited for the darkness.

    -�Why don -(TM)t you go and get Ashley while I locate the five-planet
alignment?   -� Jenny said to me with a smile.

   I immediately set upon the task of finding Ashley.  She had recently
stepped from the tub and was still attired in a white terry cloth robe.  I
stood in the doorway and watched as she applied cream to her just-shaven
legs.  Her robe was open above and below the belt line and its color was in
sharp contrast to her richly tanned body.  I couldn -(TM)t help but notice
her dark areolas as they bobbed about under the soft white fabric.  She had
to stoop over to rub her ankles with the moisturizing cream.  This posture
allowed me to peek down and see her breasts dangling about as she
vigorously applied the cream.  Her long, dark legs glistened in the
bathroom light.  As she completed the process of rubbing down her legs, she
stood erect.  The white robe vee-ed upward and showcased much of her legs,
including the southern tip of her dark and mysterious muff.

    -�Can I help you with something, you pervert? -� she snarled as my
woody  -~winked out -(TM).

    -�Jenny wants to show you something out on the deck -� I stammered.

   With a look of exasperation on her face, Ashley accompanied me to the
observation deck.  Her robe trailed far behind her lovely legs as she
stepped out into the night.

   It was a magnificently clear night.  Even without the aid of the
telescope, one could see a million stars.  Each competed for attention as
they twinkled and danced in the night sky.  Jenny stood at one end of the
raised wooden deck, hunkered over the viewfinder of the telescope.  Her
large white milkers hung like heavy dewdrops and strained against the light
blue fabric.  She was intensely focused on locating the five-planet
alignment.  She knew this particular alignment of planets wouldn -(TM)t
occur again for another seventy years.  Slowly, meticulously, she scanned
the heavens.

   Ashley became somewhat bored and stood behind Jenny and her blue dress.
As Jenny leaned over the viewfinder of the telescope and fiddled with the
lens adjustments, the back of her dress rose well past her knees.  My eyes
were trained on her alabaster thighs as Ashley reached down and grabbed the
hem of Jenny -(TM)s skirt.  Slowly she lifted Jenny -(TM)s dress until I
could plainly see the pink ribbon that sat atop of her thong underwear. 
With her other hand, Ashley feigned a yawn and then used her free hand to
stifle a giggle.  She watched me twist and squirm in my seat, as my eyes
remained affixed to Jenny -(TM)s beautiful backside.

   Jenny spread her stance and continued to look through the telescope.  
-�Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn are four of the five planets visible to
the naked eye.  Can either of you two tell me the name of the fifth planet?

   Ashley bit her lip as she attempted to compose herself and then said 
-�Hey Meathead, do you have an observation to make?

   Her words found my ears but my eyes and mind were still affixed to Jenny
-(TM)s pale taint.  Below her taint, contained in fine lace pouch, hung her
blond sex.  As my eyes became accustomed to the light, the outline of her
labia became more pronounced.  The small string that disappeared between
the cheeks of her bottom captivated me.

   I was totally caught off guard when she decided to widen her stance. 
Her pert bottom parted as she shook her hips all around and then settled
into a comfortable stance.  It was in that instant --.  I saw it!  Like an
excited miner who has just discovered the mother lode and shouts Eureka
--I, too, couldn -(TM)t wait to announce --.

    -�I think I -(TM)ve just seen your anus, Jen! -�

   Ashley lost control and broke out in a fit of laughter.  She dropped the
hem of Jenny -(TM)s dress as she arched her back and let loose a peal of
laughter that could be heard through out the night.  Her white terry cloth
robe fell wide open as her raccoon-masked milkers popped their  -~eyes
-(TM) out to have a look at the commotion.  I also got a good look at her
dark, well-manicured muff.

    -�Nice try Meathead but I am afraid you are wrong.  Uranus, Neptune and
Pluto are not visible to the naked eye and you need a pretty powerful
telescope to see them -� Jenny said with a giggle and without ever taking
her eye off the viewfinder of the telescope.   -�Mercury is the correct
answer. -�