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 �>�Alice Strikes Back By Ewong

   Legal testimony of witness Alice Honeydew AKA  -�Naked Alice -�. 
Transcribed for legal purposes for the State Superior Court.
Judge: State your name.
Girl: Naked Alice.
Judge: Your legal name, please.
Alice: Alice Honeydew.

   Judge: Would you please tell the court what happened the night after you
sent your --transmission.

   Alice: Ahem --The day after, Uncle Jack -(TM)s house was bombarded by
letters and packages addressed to me and him.  The letters were either
cursing my uncle or thanking me for letting them know what was going on. 
The packages were filled with clothes, which I dearly needed.

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: Objection!
Judge: Sustained.  Alice, just give us the facts, please.

   Alice: Some packages also had printouts of several photographs from the
website that bear the site -(TM)s watermark on them.  After that, Uncle
Jack came clean about the business he was running with his biological
sister.  He let me get dressed as he hired a lawyer and began to build a
case.  I did the same.
Judge: And what did your attorney find, Miss?

   Alice: Thousands of dollars were deposited into my uncle -(TM)s bank
account at the beginning of the month.  Days after the site was activated.
There are withdrawals once a week afterward that coincide with deposits
that his sister made to her bank account.  Note that I was not a recipient
to any of these funds.
Jack: We won a bet!  I was just splitting our winnings!

   Judge: Mr.  Hancock, you -(TM)ve been warned!  One more outburst like
that and I -(TM)ll find you in contempt!
Jack:...
Judge: You may continue, Alice.

   Alice: My attorney has also obtained several videos and photos of me
from the website in question.  You can see that I never look at the camera
or seem aware it is even there.  The screams I gave when they strip me
sound real because they are.
Jack: That -(TM)s for the audience!  They have to think it -(TM)s real!

   Judge: Mr.  Hancock, I -(TM)m placing you in contempt!  Bailiff, please
escort Mr.  Hancock out of my courtroom.
Alice: Shall I continue?
Judge: Only if you have more evidence.
Alice: Nothing more, Your Honor.
Judge: Alright.  Prosecutor, your witness.

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: Miss.  Honeydew, you accuse my client, your uncle,
of paying individuals to strip you, photograph you, and video you without
monetary compensation.  Is that right?
Alice: That -(TM)s correct.

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: And am I correct to assume your evidence shows
this by showing your naked body while you are not only unaware of being
filmed, but also do not want to be naked?
Alice: Yes.

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: While it -(TM)s clearly your name and face on the
website, how can any of us be sure that it IS in fact your naked body being
exhibited on the website for profit?
Alice: Excuse me?

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: In this clip you -(TM)ve submitted as evidence,
you claim it is you that is being stripped in this restroom?
Alice: Yes.

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: Given how well technology can mask the truth,
could he have just placed your face on a few photos and manipulated the
videos so the  -�actress -� depicted looks like you?
Alice: No!  They are all me!  Every image on there is me!

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: Prove it!
Alice: What?

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: If you really expect us to believe that you are
the girl featured on the website, simply strip and remove all doubt. 
Otherwise, I -(TM)m sure the jury will have reasonable doubt, and will find
my client innocent.

   Alice (to judge): Do I have to?

   Judge: I -(TM)m afraid so, young lady.  You must do it to keep your case
alive.
Alice: sigh --

   Twelve seconds pass

   Alice: There!  Are you all convinced now?!  Am I not the same girl you
see in the materials my attorney has gathered?

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: Liar!
Alice: What?!

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: You may have almost convinced us that you were
completely innocent and that you didn -(TM)t enjoy your exposure at all,
but your body has betrayed you!
Alice: Oh my God!

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: YES!  Let it be recorded that Alice Honeydew
appears to be sexually aroused while standing naked before the court.

   Judge: Prosecutor, please show some restraint.  You may put your clothes
on, Miss.  Honeydew.  Prosecutor, anything more to add?

   Jack -(TM)s Attorney: Prosecution rests, Your Honor.

   Judge: Then, We -(TM)ll take a brief recess and return with my verdict
in --30 minutes.
   END OF TRANSCRIPT