Title: Three Cigarettes in an Ashtray
Author: Tullius <tullius@cantshootfs.cjb.net>
Summary: A short and silly erotic-mind-control take on an old Patsy Cline number, with a gender-flip.
Keywords: MF Mdom mc nosex



                         Three Cigarettes in an Ashtray

   Tullius
   <tullius@cantshootfs.cjb.net>

   Author's Note
   Blessings upon the king(_wesley) for posting his challenge on the
   Forum, and making me realize just how much MC potential can be found in
   an old Patsy Cline number. As always, feedback is love, concrit is how
   I learn and flames are garbage.

   Copyright
   Copyright in this work lies with the author, who can be contacted at
   the email address above. This story is licensed under a [1]Creative
   Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

   *

   "Um, excuse me?"

   Michael took an instant dislike to Dennis. He didn't resent the
   interruption itself: between hearing his polite interjection and
   looking up to see what the matter was his vital signs remained stable.
   It was just one of those moments when you look at someone and instantly
   know he's not someone you're ever going to help move house.

   "Last thing I want to be is a third wheel, but, well, it's very crowded
   in here. Could I..."

   Dennis' entire posture was diffident. He held his cup and saucer on one
   palm, his laptop on the other, and as he leaned forward in earnest
   supplication he seemed on the point of falling over. Nevertheless,
   Michael thought, there was an arrogance about him: he was maintaining
   the pose as though he knew he would get what he wanted, or so it seemed
   to Michael. Jane, on the other hand, apparently didn't see it.

   "Oh, yah, sure! Help yourself!"

   "Thank you."

   Michael watched Dennis beam in gratitude at his girlfriend and, for a
   second, Dennis became his worst enemy. As he paid due attention to
   balance while setting the laptop down, Michael wanted to pick the
   infernal machine up and hurl it through the nearest window. The
   ostentatious way he used the bare minimum of available real estate on
   the table to keep it stable just underscored what an annoying son of a
   bitch he was, and there was really no need at all for him to take so
   much care putting his coffee down, now that he had both hands free. The
   sheer dumb-show of the way he patted what seemed like every one of his
   pockets, before pulling out his smartphone and a pack of smokes, just
   added insult to injury, in Michael's not entirely considered opinion.
   Dennis sat down.

   "Mind if I smoke?"

   Michael was still too frustrated to speak, especially since there was
   no way he could indulge himself by saying "no." Jane picked up her own
   half-depleted cigarette, waved it demonstratively and said "be our
   guest."

   Dennis nodded his thanks and lit up. Presently he smiled.

   "There, now I'll do my best impression of the invisible man."

   Jane returned the smile, politely acknowledging the bon mot, and, as
   Dennis absorbed himself in his laptop screen she and Michael returned
   to their conversation.

   "So, what was I saying?" Jane began, then, before Michael could recall
   himself and offer a prompt: "Oh, right, the wedding. It oughta be fun.
   Suzy's a real party girl; I never thought she'd be the first one to
   settle down..."

   Dennis tuned the couple out and busied himself typing meaningless
   words. In a second he'd switch to a browser and occupy the rest of the
   time with something that was actually entertaining, courtesy of the
   free wi-fi, but for now there were appearances to keep up.

   "That's a thought," Michael was saying, "I don't know if I'll be able
   to get off work..."

   Dennis watched the clock in the corner of the screen turn over another
   minute. He hadn't become erect from anticipation since he'd been the
   teenager who won nearly every science fair, making fine adjustments and
   installing a small miracle of modern electronics in the neighbor girl's
   kaleidoscope. Even now he was a master of his craft, though, there was
   still a certain frisson about the chase.

   "Really," said Jane "you'd be OK with that?"

   "There some reason I shouldn't be?" Michael replied, smiling.

   "No, of course not, but you know what they say about bridesmaids..."

   And, five, four, three, two... Oh, well, close enough, Dennis thought
   as the screen of his phone blossomed into life.

   "Oh, cool!" said Jane, as she caught sight of it out of the corner of
   her eye and looked around to see the colors come to frenetic, zestful
   life on the screen of the smartphone. Shapes danced in and out of each
   other's paths in ways that suggested a pattern, but moved slightly too
   fast and were slightly too complicated to predict.

   Dennis shrugged, letting a slight smile touch his lips: "It's just a
   screensaver."

   Michael had another burst of irritation at his condescending answer,
   but it was muted this time as he, too, found that he couldn't keep his
   eyes from the phone's screen. Dennis sat back, sipped his coffee, and
   prepared to enjoy the show.

   "I just hope Shawn knows what he's letting himself in for."

   "How do you mean?"

   "Well... Let's just say I was really glad when Suzy got into Kappa Pi.
   Don't get me wrong: I love her, she's great fun, but being her roommate
   was... exhausting. Like I said, she's a party girl."

   Dennis took a drag on his cigarette and stared very carefully off into
   the middle distance.

   "For a while there I thought I was gonna get back problems and she was
   gonna get pregnant. Nearly every night it was the same choice: curl up
   on the couch or have some frat-rat ask if I want a threesome."

   Jane took a quick sip of coffee that wasn't quite over before she
   continued.

   "Mm, and the walls were paper thin, too. I wouldn't be surprised if I
   was like Pavlov's dog, now. Suzy orgasms, unh, unh, unh, I fall asleep.
   Is it hot in here?"

   "Honey!" Michael exclaimed as Jane slipped her jacket off her shoulders
   and straight onto her chair. In a coffee shop this crowded, he thought,
   the Meg Ryan routine was a bit much.

   "Hmmmm," Jane just purred indulgently. "Ooh, it is hot in here!"

   She began to blouse out her tank top, jerking it back and forth to fan
   herself. Just like I thought, no bra. Nice, Dennis thought.

   Jane gave a laugh that was half giggle, half femme fatale. She arched
   her back and leaned in, tickling Michael's temple with her blonde bangs
   as she whispered in his ear.

   "You know, I'm getting really horny. Want me to suck you off under the
   table?"

   Michael was very glad he wasn't trying to drink coffee at that moment,
   as he would undoubtedly have spluttered.

   "Jane! We're in public!"

   "I know. Don't tell me you've never thought about it."

   She gave a vampy snicker, and sat back down, her back still arched. She
   gave a little wriggle that did interesting things to her chest. Michael
   thought to look at Dennis, but he was apparently concentrating on his
   laptop again.

   "I haven't!"

   "Yeah, right. There's only one reason a guy with a girlfriend buys a
   convertible: road head."

   "Jane!" Michael couldn't help sounding like a broken record. By his
   judgment, she had to be audible at least two tables away in every
   direction, never mind Dennis.

   "You know what? Just thinking about it is making me wet," she said.
   Before Michael could think of something better to say than just "Jane!"
   again, she'd reached out and grabbed his hand. She brought it to the
   crotch of her jeans. "See?"

   Michael squeaked. This was not a situation he was prepared for. This
   was not his Jane.

   "C'mon, admit it, you just want to pull up at a stop light and give
   some trucker a bird's-eye view of you getting a hummer. That's why you
   picked a stick-shift, isn't it? You let in the clutch, I'll polish
   your..."

   "Jane!"

   She held his hand firmly captive between her thighs and started to
   shimmy.

   "You know what, forget that. You keep that up, I'm gonna shove you down
   under the table. Oooh, yeah, right there!"

   She'd gotten at least a little bit quieter, now, and Michael thanked
   his stars that they were in the sort of place where people just stole
   the odd look and otherwise pretended not to notice. To his immense
   relief, she released his hand from captivity

   "C'mon, let's do it. We can find a nice quiet stretch of road out in
   the hills, if you insist."

   "Jane," Michael whispered, "what's gotten into you?"

   "Oh, fine," she said with an exaggerated pout, "if you want to be Mr.
   Boring-pants, you can just take me home and give me a good hard
   fucking, how about that?"

   At that, Dennis spun his laptop around. On the screen was a bigger set
   of kaleidoscopic patterns, and it was pointed straight at Michael. His
   face was bleached of all expression in half a second flat, and he just
   stared. Jane turned to Dennis.

   "So, baby, what's it gonna be?"

   "Hey, there's no reason we can't do both, right?" Dennis said, getting
   up from the table. As he pulled the keys to Michael's Jaguar from his
   pocket, his eye strayed to the middle of the table.

   "Don't forget this," he said, picking up Jane's cigarette. "You're
   going to want it later."

   She wrapped her lips around it as suggestively as possible, and Dennis
   grinned.

   "Shall we?"

   As they walked out together, a bearded man at the table by the door
   shot her a hard look.

   "Tramp!"

   Jane blew him a kiss. Meanwhile Michael stared at the laptop screen,
   and a blue plume of smoke rose above it.
     __________________________________________________________________

References

   1. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/