The Colonel and the Brigadier, fortified by a good lunch,  were deep in conversation in the lounge of the Conservative Club discussing the ways in which the village's available female pulchritude might best be unveiled and exhibited both for the greater good of the community and also,  and very importantly, their own perverse gratification.

They agreed that the  amiable and willing Dorothy should be allowed to be displayed as the "Spotted Lady" once again,  and further that she should be asked if she would mind foregoing the shelter of  a tent this time (Last year she had had the comfort of an oil heater under the platform to keep the unseasonable cold at bay).

The Brigadier was even more delighted at this suggestion, to which he gave his immediate agreement.  Now there would be at least three delightfully shivering young females for him to fantasise about!  Never mind if the third was not a great facial beauty, she had a very impressive body - strong,  well made and capable of reducing the strongest village stud to a state of pleasurable exhaustion, as his friend,  the Colonel,  had good reason to know!

The discussion resumed.

"Can't just have them standing there  as some kind of tableau vivant.  Don't want the dear girls catching their death of cold and it would soon become boring." said the Colonel.  "A kind of dance routine would be a good idea - at least for Beatrice - lovely sinuous body - that girl!  Maybe we could have a guy playing a flute or reed pipe or something - sort of snake charmer act with Beatrice as the deadly charmed serpent! That would be her taken care of.   How would Julia fancy a bit of bondage - what would   you say to that - chains and ropes - maybe staked out on the ground, spread-eagled?"

The angry scarlet flush that came over the Brigadier's face caused the Colonel to sigh inwardly and backtrack hastily.  The two continued to cogitate for some time.  Finally the Colonel spoke.

"It really is frightfully good of you to agree to this you know - I only wish my daughter Rosie could participate, but Bessie wouldn't hear of it, I'm afraid,  and I'm in enough hot water with her as it is - damn it."

The Brigadier tried to hide his amusement at this reference to the Colonel's disgrace - a disgrace which would, so he hoped, allow him to replace the said Colonel at the next elections, due in May a week or two after the fete.  As for the lovely Rosie appearing in a state of undress - well, that would be too much to hope for; he could see that.  Bessie,  the Colonel's lady,  was famously strait-laced and nobody could understand why she had ever married such a serial and tireless philanderer  in the first place - or why she had not divorced him long before.

"I saw a film many years ago, starring the late Elvis Presley, who, you may remember,  was a noted warbler and darling of the great unwashed of his day." said the Colonel. "It was called 'Roustabout' as I remember.  In one scene,  at a carnival,  a young lady was placed on a platform above a tank of water and underneath the platform was some kind of lever mechanism whereby the platform was kept in place.  A well aimed shot at this mechanism would cause the platform to collapse and send the young lady dropping into the tank of icy cold water."

The Brigadier's eyes gleamed at the thought of  his nubile young relatives and any other of the village maidens soaked and shivering as they descended time and again into a tank of freezing cold water!  Oh - bliss!  Then he remembered the spirited nature of these very formidable young  ladies, his nieces,  and thought again.  They would never submit to such an indignity and he would never dare suggest it to them.  Perhaps one or more of the other village girls might be persuaded to take part.  It was agreed to canvass opinion forthwith.

The two further agreed that Julia should be asked to put on some kind of gymnastic display.  This would help to keep her warm if the weather took a turn for the worse on the big day and both men had seen   lady gymnasts in the past and realised that this particular young lady's charms, as well as her skill,  would be shown off to excellent effect.  The regretful Brigadier declined to ask his niece to put on a display of unarmed combat and challenge all comers.  He knew full well that the disdainful young girl would never in any circumstances submit to having her nude body touched by the local peasantry, even if she did,  thereby,  get the chance to humiliate them.

A few brandies and soda later and the retired military men had tired of the topic of the fete and descended into a series of reminiscences of  campaigns and military glories of long ago.  Before leaving,  the Colonel assured the Brigadier that he would get his fellow councillors to co-opt him onto a special committee to finalise the arrangements for what both men hoped would be a memorable day.

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Meanwhile, the two putative star turns were on their way to London and a meeting with their current beaux.  On the phone the day before they had explained to the amused pair, the ordeal to which they had somewhat reluctantly submitted themselves and instructed them both to put on their thinking caps.

"Think of something good for us to do, you two, or you're both history as far as we're concerned," an implacable Julia had instructed the ever faithful and besotted Giles.

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The two boys, Piers Willoughby-Vane-Fanshaw and the Hon. Giles Anstruther-Grey were desperately trying to cudgel their brains as the two girls sped towards them.  They  didn't want to lose these lovely young things so soon after first screwing them and necessity is the mother of invention.  Surely to Goodness, they would come up with something?