Author: Sterling
Title: A Celibate Pedophile, Stripped of His Inhibitions
Summary: Jacob is wonderful with children in his job,
and doesn't realize he's a pedophile. His supervisor Mrs. Smith
suspects he is. Six-year-old Stacy has been a very, very bad
girl, so Mrs. Smith selects her to be Jacob's victim as she gives
him drugs to remove his inhibitions. For a year he does Stacy
once a week, but due to the drugs he remembers none of it. Stacy
is upset at first, but comes to treasure their relationship. Then
one day the dose of the forgetting drug is not enough.
Keywords: Mg Mg(6) pedo loli humor school drugs 1st rape reluct

NOTICE: This story contains explicit sex.

First posted 12/19/2021.

I'm always eager for comments, whether good, bad or mixed.
Comments to sterling27@live.com.

I have written many other stories and they can all be found at
http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/Sterling/

There is a more user-friendly web version of most of my stories
from before 2016 here: http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/Sterlin
g/www/

Sterling

============================================================

A Celibate Pedophile, Stripped of His Inhibitions

Jacob loved his job. He loved helping the girls, of course. That
was so rewarding when he felt one of them make a little progress.
It was also a little rewarding when they were just affectionate,
like spontaneously giving him a hug or sitting on his lap.
Grown-ups loved kids, right? He just seemed to love these girls,
especially this age, a lot more than most of them did. He was
aware that some men abused little girls, and he knew he would
never do that. The thought of hurting them -- of their confusion
and psychological distress if nothing else -- it was unthinkable.
And so he didn't think it. It didn't matter what his dreams might
be if he dug deep, because they could just never, ever be. So he
just adored the little girls and treated them the way a kindly
grown-up would treat a girl. Nothing more. Anything more would be
unthinkable. So he didn't think it.

---------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Smith looked at the classroom and sighed. Nine girls. They
were her charges in the foster care place she ran. It was a sort
of halfway house -- it was hard to explain. The girls had been
through some tough times -- that's why they were here. They were
all between four and eight years old -- surly and wary and hard
to reach. The world had thrown them a curve ball or two or three,
and they did not trust people. She did her best. The other aides
came in and did their best. But the girls rarely opened up much.

But today everything was different. All the kids sat in a circle
around Jacob. Jacob was the idealistic young guy, right out of
college. This was his third day on the job. However a person gets
charisma, he had it, and it worked. Sometimes when she saw him
looking at a girl, she could see in his eyes this infinite well
of compassion, trust and hope. However surly and unpleasant they
were, he saw more there somehow, and it got through to them.

He sat in the center, with the girls all around him. Mostly they
were quiet, but she could tell they were all paying attention,
and now and then one would smile a little. She had had a couple
others like Jacob over the years. It started with such magic for
the first few months, but then she could see each of them in turn
slowly losing that energy. The girls still liked and trusted him,
and he was still kind to them, but Mrs. Smith could see that
infinite compassion had left his eyes. He would become more like
just another aide. He would leave at the end of a year.

Mrs. Smith had a separate small apartment in the big old house
for whoever the aide was. Jacob was handsome and charming, but
within the first couple months she never saw him bring home any
young women. In fact, he rarely went out. Mrs. Smith herself was
still in her thirties, and men on the street noticed her. Most
times when she met a man she could tell by subtle signs that he
had noticed her as a woman. But not Jacob. He didn't seem at all
effeminate, and no men accompanied him back to his place either.
She watched carefully as he interacted with the girls. Not a
single leer, certainly no groping. Perfectly appropriate at all
times. She decided that while she didn't know what his sexuality
was, he had suppressed it. But she was very curious, and also
interested in finding a way to make gems like Jacob want to stay.
The two earlier guys had been a complete mystery too.

So she did something bad. She used to work as a nurse. There was
this drug they gave to patients before some surgeries that put
them into twilight sleep, so they were relaxed and could follow
instructions, but they never remembered anything. It also reduced
inhibitions... One guy had grabbed her butt, and the other nurse
had just laughed. "The drug does that to them. They can't help
it." And indeed a couple other guys had openly leered at her, or
tried pawing her. And because she knew they couldn't control it,
she didn't mind.

On a warm September evening, Mrs. Smith dropped by Jacob's
apartment to chat. She offered him a lemonade, which he took
gratefully. She watched as the drug took effect. He got that
dopey, relaxed look. He was seated on a sofa, she on a chair, and
now she moved over to sit beside him. She wore a dress that
showed her cleavage to good effect. If he had gotten interested,
she would have been happy to sleep with him now and then. Maybe
even regularly, especially if it could stop that burnout and let
him stay as an aide for years, helping no end of troubled young
girls. But as they sat on the sofa together, there was no hint of
a reaction from him.

---------------------------------------------------------

" Stacy!" Mrs. Smith shouted, astonished. The girl briefly looked
startled, but instantly assumed her surly mask. Never before had
a girl done anything *that* bad! This was terrible! "I've always
felt bad before sending a girl back to Sunnyside, but not you!
You deserve it!"

 Stacy's indifferent mask cracked for an instant, showing her
fear. Many of the girls, including Stacy, had come from
Sunnyside. Mrs. Smith's home was a much nicer place to be, a step
on the road to a real foster placement.

There was a room in the basement -- a "time-out" room. But it was
pretty much like a jail cell. Mrs. Smith led Stacy to it now, "I
can't believe *any* girl would do a thing like that! And you're
just six years old! Cripes!" she muttered. Mrs. Smith locked her
in the room.

---------------------------------------------------------

It was just mid-morning. Mrs. Smith could see that Jacob was
mesmerizing the other girls, as usual, and didn't need her help.
So she retired to her room and had one drink, and then another,
and stopped counting, and then she hatched her plan. It wasn't
fair. Who knew what would happen? If nothing happened, then there
was little lost. But if it worked... She felt a mix of guilt and
excitement.

Early that evening she came to give Stacy her mashed-potato
supper. No meatloaf for girls in the time-out room. But she
stayed to talk. "You want a chance to say goodbye to Jacob?"

She caught a flash of brightness on Stacy's face before it faded
to indifferent suspicion. "OK, yeah." She also noted carefully
that Stacy drained the glass of water she had brought with the
meal.

---------------------------------------------------------

 Stacy was feeling relaxed half an hour later, when Mrs. Smith
came to get her. Even the prospect of Sunnyside wasn't so bad.
Nothing could be too bad. Life was OK!

Mrs. Smith brought her to Mr. Cartwright's apartment, a place
she'd never been before.

She loved him. All the girls loved him. He was so kind. But now
he looked different somehow. He took her by the wrist and led her
to his bedroom. Stacy was aware than Mrs. Smith had left and
shut the door behind her. Mr. Cartwright looked kind of like his
father looked when he would beat her. He was going to do
something to her, whether she wanted it or not. Even in her dopey
condition, she was scared.

Mr. Cartwright didn't beat her. He pushed her back on the bed,
knelt below her, and pushed her skirt up.

"Mr. Cartwright, no!" she said, giggling. But it wasn't a joke,
because with her skirt up, he grabbed her panties and pulled them
down. "Mr. Cartwright!" She figured she ought to be really upset,
but she was feeling so relaxed that even this didn't upset her
much. And it was much better than being beaten. It seemed
strange, but everything would work out. "Mr. Cartwright!" she
said again.

"Quiet!" he said, and then she noticed he was naked from the
waist down and his penis was sticking straight out. It looked
huge. Was he going to... do that thing?

He pressed the tip of that huge thing right between her legs and
pushed. She could feel the blunt pressure. It was a lot of
pressure!

"Ouch!" she said, struggling a bit, but he said, "Hold still!"
again and she stopped struggling. Then she knew that he was going
to do what he wanted no matter what she thought. It was hard to
struggle anyway, somehow. Then she felt his fingers down there,
opening her up, one forcing its way up the dirty place. "Ouch!"
she said in a loud whisper. He pushed the finger in and out and
in and out, then tried to put in two fingers. "Ouch!" His hand
suddenly appeared up at his mouth and he spit on it, and seconds
later those fingers were in her again, and with the spit on them
they moved in and out a bit easier. When the third finger went in
she just winced. And then he was up on top of her, real close,
like before, and she felt that knob of his penis, she felt it
press, felt the pressure increase, and then felt it slide inside!
Big and fat! His 'thing' inside her dirty place! And he didn't
put it in just a little, he put it in more, and it hurt when he
pushed it in, but not as bad as she would have thought. She had
no idea her place was that deep. She'd poked a finger up there
now and then to explore, but never this deep! And his thing was
so much thicker than a finger!

And then in and out and in and out... yeah, he was doing that
thing men and women did, but why was he doing it to her, a little
kid? His breathing got really fast, and then he pushed in extra
deep and groaned, then went still. And then he relaxed and lay
down on top of her. He was heavy! She squirmed, and he responded
by sliding off of her. She was especially focused down where his
penis was sticking into her dirty place. As he moved off her, it
slid out all at once. It was still like a stiff pole, but now it
was wet. It had somehow gotten wet from being up inside her dirty
place.

He seemed calmer now, so maybe she could go? She tentatively
started getting up, and he let her. "Can I go now?" she asked.

But he shook his head, and instead got up and took the rest of
her clothes off -- the dress off, the panties that were around
one ankle. He had that look again, like nothing she did would
matter. He took off her socks and shoes, while he got undressed
too, and then he lay back down with her, facing each other on
their sides, both of them completely naked. His hands were all
over her... her back, her thighs. He was smiling. He kissed her
neck and he kissed her ear and he kissed her on the lips. She
didn't really want him to kiss her on the lips, but she let him,
and she sort of kissed him back. She didn't quite get it. Surely
he'd already done the most naughty, wicked thing a man could do
to a girl, by sticking it in her dirty place -- and so far in!
But he kept caressing her all different ways. Down between her
legs he now rubbed gently right there at that place... very
gently. And now Stacy felt some tingly feelings. She realized her
dirty place didn't hurt inside any more. As he caressed her, the
minutes went by, and then she felt his stiff thing against her
thigh. He was sliding it up and down on her thigh, in that same
motion.

Then he was on top of her again, and she knew he was going to
stick it in her again, and she just had to do what he wanted. His
penis went right to her hole again, and he pressed it in. It felt
huge and uncomfortable but it didn't hurt anywhere near as bad.
Now she looked up and saw him above her, his face looking happy
and intense, but also kind of determined... not exactly kind, by
any means -- like nothing would stop him. And he kept pressing
his thing in and out of her dirty place, over and over again. She
realized it kind of fit. She got a sense that that's where his
penis was meant to go, weird as that was. On and on and on he
went, driving in and out. Half an hour, then 45 minutes. Yeah,
that's definitely where a penis was supposed to go. Now she was
sure -- this was sex, the thing men and women did. But he was
doing it to her, who was six years old and nowhere near a big
girl. He kept pushing in hard, like that was something he really
had to do, over and over. And after 45 minutes his breathing got
faster and he pressed even harder, and his face kind of scrunched
up, and then he groaned again, and then relaxed.

"I've really gotta pee!" she said. She hoped he realized a girl
couldn't hold it forever, and he wouldn't want her to wet his
bed, surely. She expected he would just let her up to go to the
bathroom, but instead he picked her up himself and said, "Oh,
goody!". He cradled her in his arms like a little kid, and walked
her to the bathroom. He then sat her down on the toilet, spread
her legs wide, and put his head down real close. He wanted to
watch her pee? That seemed weird. But the other stuff was sure
weird too, and she really had to go. So she let loose and the pee
came out in a big stream. He grinned when he saw it.

This was a new kind of weird. He'd already been shoving his penis
in and out of her dirty hole over and over, and then after a
break he did it again. But she sort of got why... men did that to
women. But peeing was private, wasn't it? He got some toilet
paper and held her lips open -- way more than they needed to be,
and patted her dry. He let the paper fall in the toilet with a
bit of a flourish, nudged her off the seat and onto her feet, and
then flushed it, all the while looking like a little kid -- that
was how happy he looked.

She thought now she'd just start dressing, and hope he didn't
object... and he didn't! He watched as she pulled her panties on,
and then the dress, and then started working on her socks... But
then something in him shifted. He was touching her again, and he
that same intense look as he slid the dress back off over her
head. And he grinned more when he pulled the panties down, just a
little at a time. First her slit showed a little, then a little
more, then the whole thing -- and then he pulled the panties off.
He didn't bother with her socks. Then he pulled her to him. He
lay back on the bed, and pulled her on top of him, and hugged her
tight.

All of her weight was on him. She figured he'd get tired of that,
but he seemed to love the weight, and his hands roamed over her
back. And then... oh, no... she felt something pressing at her
below. It couldn't be any other part of his body -- it had to be
his penis getting stiff underneath her. He raised his legs to
push hers apart and push her up a bit towards the head of the
bed. And she was pretty sure she knew what would happen next...
Yup, his stiff penis slid into her dirty hole again, in further
and further. It went all the way in this time without hurting
really, though it was sore from the other times. And as she lay
on top of him, he shoved that penis in and out of her again, over
and over again. The last time he'd gone in and out for an hour.
She tried to get used to the idea. Should she be prepared for two
hours? But in just fifteen minutes she felt him getting more
excited, felt it going in deeper and faster, and then once again
heard that gasp and felt him relax. He held her on top of him.
This time as a minute went by she felt his penis shrink inside of
her body -- that was kind of weird. But then he slid out, and
hugged her front to front on their sides. The way he gazed into
her eyes -- it was like nothing else she had experienced. He
liked her a lot, apparently. Then he turned her around and
spooned against her back. His hands stopped roaming, his arm just
resting over her body. He relaxed. She stayed still. She hoped he
was done with all that. Then she was pretty sure he was asleep,
because of his regular breathing. If he was asleep then at least
he wasn't doing stuff to her, and who knew what would happen if
he woke up? She wanted to go back to her bed. Or even to the
time-out room.

She slowly, carefully removed his arm from over her waist, and
then carefully, slowly, pulled away. He didn't stir.

Quickly, she pulled on panties and dress, just grabbed her socks
and shoes without taking the time to put them on, and let herself
out of his apartment. Phew! It was the middle of the night --
everything was quiet and dark.

Sitting in a rocking chair outside, dozing, was Mrs. Smith.

"Oh, did he let you go?"

"What happened?" asked Stacy. It was no time for surly
indifference.

"Did he perhaps have you take off your underwear?"

Stacy nodded.

"And do very naughty things between your legs?"

Stacy nodded again. "Three times."

"Three times! Goodness. That sure confirms my hunch. Let's go
back down to the basement."

On the way she kept talking. "Did he hit you or hurt you?"

"No," said Stacy. It was a big difference from her father, she
realized. Mr. Cartwright had done stuff to get his penis into her
hole, and it had hurt, but she knew he hadn't meant to hurt her.

"Did he rub it against you?"

"He... He got it into my hole! It hurt!"

"Into your hole! Oh, dear. Are you bleeding?"

"No. And it wasn't so bad." It was nothing like getting beaten.

"I wouldn't have thought he could get it into a small girl like
you, but I guess he did. Maybe you girls are stretchier than we
think."

Stacy didn't know what to say to that. It had hurt the first
time, and less each time after. She guessed she was more like a
big girl than Mrs. Smith thought.

"You agree what you did yesterday was very, very bad?"

"Yes," said Stacy quietly.

"So it would make sense you would get a serious punishment?"

"Yeah."

"So I sent you to see Mr. Cartwright so he could do what he
wanted to you. You know how all the grown-ups in the world are
crazy about sex? You hear about it all the time? Wanting
girlfriends, boyfriends? It's all about sex." Stacy nodded. "And
you know sometimes men like men and women like women?" Stacy
nodded. "Mr. Cartwright's different. He doesn't want to do it to
women. He doesn't want to do it to men. He wants to do it to
little girls like you. Not to hurt you. But because he wants sex
as much as any other grown-up, and you girls are the only people
he wants to do it with. And it's illegal, and everyone would hate
him if they found out, so he doesn't do it. And you know how he's
been teaching you girls? Did you ever see him grab some girl or
put his hand up under her dress or anything?"

"No, never."

"So you see, he not only doesn't want to hurt anybody, he always
does his very best not to hurt anybody."

"But last night?"

"I gave him drugs. Special drugs that make a person do what they
really want to do even if they think it's wrong."

"So, what's he going to think..."

"Aha, this drug also makes him forget. He'll have absolutely no
memory of doing anything wrong. If he did he would surely resign
and feel terrible about himself. I gave you a drug in your water
with dinner to make you more relaxed, but I think it's worn off
by now."

That explained how she hadn't been as upset as she would have
thought.

Mrs. Smith explained how the other young men had left, and she
was pretty sure it was because their attraction to the girls made
them wonderful teachers, but they just couldn't keep being close
with girls all the time and never have sex.

"I wasn't totally sure if that was the problem with these men.
But for Mr. Cartwright, you sure helped me confirm it last
night."

Stacy frowned. "So I was like an experiment?"

"Yeah, using you as a guinea pig. Bad of me. But you agree what
you did was really a terrible, terrible thing to do. So maybe you
deserve to be a guinea pig."

Stacy hesitated, then nodded again.

"So would you be willing to do it again?"

"Again? But... he was being so gross! Yuck!"

"Yes, well. I hope Sunnyside will help you improve, though after
that terrible thing you did..."

Stacy hesitated. She didn't want to go to Sunnyside. What would
it be like with Mr. Cartwright. "What he did... it was so, so --
obscene!"

Mrs. Smith paused a moment. "You know how the songs go. The guy
is crazy for the girl. He'll do anything to get her, or if she
leaves he'll feel like he wants to die. And the songs often don't
get to it, but the heart of it is he wants to stick his penis in
her vagina."

'Vagina,', that's what grown-ups called it, not dirty hole. But
it still seemed like a dirty hole to her.

"That's what it comes down to. That's why nature makes him that
way. Mr. Cartwright was trying to make you pregnant."

Stacy's eyes went wide.

"You can't pregnant, of course, but his mind is wired a little
funny, that's all. Do you think he really wanted to get his penis
into your vagina? Like really, really bad?"

Stacy nodded.

"And so bad he did it three separate times?"

Stacy thought more. Between times, he was kind of treating her
like a girlfriend, kissing her everywhere, rubbing her
everywhere, kissing her on the lips.

"So you think it's gross, but if you were a big girl or a woman
you wouldn't think so. You'd think it was wonderful."

Stacy thought about the pregnant part. "But doesn't something
come out the penis when a man wants to make a woman pregnant?"

"I suspect it did. I suspect he shot sperm up into your vagina
three times."

"Ewww! And it's still there?" Talk about a dirty hole!

"It will just drip out over time. It won't do you any harm. And
remember, you were a very, very bad girl. So here's the deal. I
won't send you to Sunnyside if you're good and don't cause any
more trouble here, and if you let Mr. Cartwright do it to you
once a week."

"Once a week!"

"Hey, if he were an ordinary guy and had a new girlfriend, he'd
do it to her two or three times a day."

---------------------------------------------------------

Jacob crawled eagerly onto the bed. Stacy was naked, legs spread
wide apart, smiling at him. She guided his cock into her and he
pressed it into her pussy and began his in and out motion,
getting faster and deeper. Wow, did he love this! Before long,
nature called and he lunged deep, awash in ecstasy and
satisfaction, spurting sperm up inside the girl.

When he was done, he turned to her and kissed her gently, while
she kissed him back. His hands roamed all over her body. He loved
especially her totally flat chest. Women had boobs there and they
were icky.

"Lets make puppies," he said.

Stacy smiled and got up on hands and knees, and he got behind her
and shoved it into her slick pussy from behind. It was so
satisfying that way. It felt so good to get it way up in there
deep. He thought of his kinship with all the other male animals,
and how they always did it. "Oh, oh, oh, have some *puppies*!" he
groaned.

Stacy was so nice to him. They lay back down and rested a while.
But after some minutes Stacy began idly playing with his penis,
which had already done its job twice. But her playing sent a
little blood back in, making it grow a bit and then... yes! She
took it in her mouth. Oh, it felt so good that way. She knew just
what to do. Even though he was a bit tired, his penis couldn't
resist that stimulation... the way she flicked her tongue like
that, wow, it felt fantastic, and ... He came, right in her
mouth, though there wasn't much more sperm to come out just then.

Then they settled down, he spooned against her back, and he was
soon asleep.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jacob woke on Saturday morning, feeling groggy. He was used to
feeling groggy on Saturday mornings. Usually he couldn't remember
his dreams, but lately it seemed he could. They were about sex.
More specifically, they were about sex with little girls. And
while he never thought about sex when he was awake, maybe his
mind was playing tricks with him at night -- getting him to have
thoughts he never let himself have. But this one was especially
vivid. It was a dream of making love to Stacy, that little girl
in the class. So vivid! And the thing was, she had been so
willing, so helpful.. she even volunteered to take his penis in
her mouth. He knew that was what they called a blow job. He'd
never had that, but it sure felt nice! Could it possibly be real?
It couldn't be. No little girl would ever be like that, the first
time they did it, especially. And he would never do that. The
mind played tricks on us, and if something was impossible, then
no matter how vivid it was it must be a trick of the mind.

Then he saw it... the hair holder, under the chair. Scrunchy,
they used to call it. And he remembered distinctly that Stacy had
been wearing that very hair holder yesterday. His heart started
pounding. He got down on the floor and looked carefully. Long
hair, just a few strands, but much longer than his. He usually
didn't pay much attention to his physical surroundings, but now
he looked carefully. Under the bed, way up near the headboard --
another hair holder. More strands of long hair.

He panicked. His life was over. Stacy would tell, and his life
would be over. And yet she had been so willing -- why had he not
remembered? Were there earlier episodes he had not remembered at
all? A big part of him was inclined to pack up right now, leave
with a note saying -- what would it say? Maybe that he had a
medical emergency. But that wasn't fair to Stacy. He owed it to
apologize to her, even if it meant he would go to prison. He had
been determined never to do anything sexual with his charges,
ever. And he certainly had never meant to, but for some reason he
had, and now he ought to face the consequences.

---------------------------------------------------------

"Mrs. Smith, I have to resign my position immediately. But there
is a matter I need to clear up first."

"Oh, no," said Mrs. Smith.

"I have behaved very badly with one of the girls. I don't
remember it clearly... maybe I had a fugue state or a stroke or
something, but I surely did do something terrible. And I need to
do whatever I can to try to make that a little better, before I
leave."

"Wait, wait..." said Mrs. Smith. "I know all about this. I guess
I got the drug dose wrong this time."

"What?"

Mrs. Smith explained the entire situation. Jacob's eyes bugged
out wider and wider.

"You.. sacrificed Stacy for me? How could you? And without asking
me? You made me do what I would never, ever do!"

"I didn't exactly make you do it, did I? I just made your
inhibitions fall away."

Mrs. Smith explained the terrible thing Stacy had done, and Jacob
couldn't deny that it was a truly terrible thing to do. He
couldn't deny that sending her to Sunnyside was an appropriate
response. But that Stacy had chosen to sleep with him to avoid it
-- that was hard to believe. They had done it over and over, but
last night was the only one he remembered. But how had she gotten
used to it? He would never know, he guessed.

"I think you're a pedophile," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

"No! No, I never hurt anyone, at least when I'm in my right
mind."

"No, but deep down, it's what you really want. Like some guys are
straight and others are gay. Some are pedophiles."

Jacob's mind was reeling, but it made a lot of sense. How he felt
so wonderful when the girls hugged him or sat in his lap. How his
feelings for them were often -- romantic. And those things he
hadn't let himself think about.. it was true he didn't want to
hurt any girls, but if someone gave him a drug to take all his
inhibitions away... then it had shown up. No mistaking it.

"I know how hard it must be for you, attracted to these little
girls and always treating them so perfectly. And I've seen what
it does. I've had two other young men sort of like you. They are
wonderful the first few months, and then they look more troubled.
They still do a good job with the girls, but they both left after
the year was out. And here you are, halfway through your second
year. Are you aware of feeling sexually frustrated to be around
them? To have all these lithe little sexy bodies all around you?"

Jacob thought. "Well, of course not. I had no idea I was
attracted to them -- not that way."

"But how does it feel?"

"It just feels nice. And you think it's because Stacy has been
meeting my sexual needs every Friday night?"

"Yes! You deserve it."

"No! Never.... For how long?"

"Over a year now."

"What! And I've never known! No one should ever get their sexual
needs met at someone else's expense!"

Mrs. Smith reminded him against of the terrible thing Stacy had
done, and his outrage lessened considerably.

"So... talking to Stacy... I'm sure you'll want to be there..."

"I trust you completely to be alone with Stacy."

---------------------------------------------------------

Jacob was very nervous as he invited Stacy into his room. He
swallowed as he thought again about just how to begin.

"Hello, Mr. Cartwright," she said. "Mrs. Smith told me why you
wanted to see me."

Jacob took a good look at this young girl. He didn't know if he
had looked at her carefully or what he had thought all those
nights he had been with her before -- he didn't remember any of
it. But now, he saw light brown hair, just past her shoulders,
worn today in a single pony tail -- held in place with a
scrunchy. He was dimly aware that if you put her face in a
line-up with other girls her age, she wouldn't win a beauty
contest. But he saw a pair of perfect light brown eyes, seated in
a perfect little face, with a perfect little nose. Below it was a
perfect little mouth and chin. Even her eyebrows were perfect.
Though it was now clothed, as best he could tell her body was
average for seven years old, which was also perfect.

"I... I can't believe I've been doing those things. Abusing you
sexually."

Stacy shrugged. "I guess that's what it is, isn't it... But you
weren't in your right mind. And I really didn't mind. I did at
first, but I got used to it. Those drugs made you different than
in the day."

"I'm sure they did... I only remember last night."

"Yeah," said Stacy with a smirk. "I could tell you lots of
things, then -- but I won't."

"But... I need to say I'm sorry. So sorry for what I remember,
from last night. And you're saying I have plenty else to be sorry
for too, and I am, but I don't remember it."

"Mrs. Smith explained about the drugs. You couldn't help it."

"You've been abused. We should tell the police."

Stacy looked alarmed. "The police! No, not the police! Everything
goes bad when the police come in! And Mrs. Smith would be in big
trouble too, right?"

Jacob had to admit that was true. Dispensing illegal drugs.
Accomplice to a great many instances of rape.

"Well, I need to say I'm so sorry for damaging you. I don't know
how you'll ever recover, but I'll do my very best to make it a
little better if I can."

Stacy shrugged. "I don't feel damaged. I feel pretty good about
it, actually."

"Why?"

"Because... between times, you loved me so much. Mrs. Smith says
it's how a boyfriend loves a girlfriend, but it felt really nice.
I guess the drug removed different inhibitions."

"But the sex... surely that was awful... not for someone your
age."

"It was kind of startling and... different at first, but not too
bad. I knew you weren't try to hurt me, like my father did."

"Your father did that too?"

"No, he just beat me. Over and over. I have nightmares.."

Jacob winced. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

"See, here's why I don't mind so much. Mrs. Smith explained how
you are like any other man who really, really wants to do it, but
you want it with little girls, not women. So I tried thinking
like a big girl, and that worked pretty well." She giggled. "My
hole -- my vagina -- stretched out pretty quick, and then it
wasn't bad. Even nice sometimes."

Jacob groaned.

"Now it's not a secret, can I sit in your lap?"

"Oh, dear! Well, I guess."

 Stacy sat sideways in Jacob's lap, head against his chest. He
held his arm under her knees to support her.

"Will you marry me?" asked Stacy with a smile.

"Oh! Well, hmmmm."

"Just kidding... Well, kind of."

"I was going to leave right away, but if it can help you recover
I'll stay nearby. So if you want to sit in my lap in private you
can do it any time. Cry if you want to cry. Scream at me, or
pound me with your fists or whatever."

 Stacy got off his lap and stood up. "I don't want to cry! I don't
want to do any of those things!"

"They say you will some day, and better not to try to hide it."

"You're going to keep going to bed with me, I hope!"

"Oh, I couldn't possibly, now I know what's going on. It's
illegal, immoral, and everything."

"We could at least lie on your bed and hug?"

"I suppose that's not technically illegal, but..." Why was he
even considering it? This was crazy!

"Mrs. Smith explained to me how ordinary guys really want to
shove their penises into their girlfriends, they want it so bad,
and they do it a lot. And deep down, they want to do it because
they want to make babies. And how you're the same --"

"No, no..." murmured Jacob.

"You're the same, you just want to do it in a little girl. And
when I feel your penis going in and out -- so strong and hard and
insistent -- you're trying to make a baby. And babies are good."

"Oh, damn! ... that's not right..." Jacob realized he was
whining.

"And it felt kind of good sometimes. You licked me down there,
and I could feel it more. I didn't really want you to do it
regularly, but it was good to feel sort of what big girls feel.
Anyway, I'm used to it now." Her voice shifted to false drama. "
If something horrible is going to happen in the future," then
returning to her normal voice, "it's going to happen whether we
do it for one year or two. And then there's that bad thing I
did."

Jacob had to admit that what she had done was very, very bad.

"And everyone agrees I've been behaving much better since you
started fucking me."

"Oh, dear. You shouldn't use words like that!"

Stacy smirked. "OK, OK, I don't even know what that word
means..."

Jacob had to smile at that, despite himself.

---------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Smith had worked had on Jacob to get him to at least try
staying in his job.

He joined his group of troubled young girls as usual the Monday
morning after Mrs. Smith's plan had been revealed, but his
thoughts were significantly different. He wasn't just fond of
these girls like an especially affectionate grown-up. He didn't
just have a deep well of caring that few other people could
match. He was sexually attracted to them -- all except one or two
in this bunch. That meant that if he was left alone with them,
under the influence of Mrs. Smith's drugs, he would do to each of
them just what he had done to Stacy. But he wasn't under the
influence of any drugs, and he knew right from wrong.

He liked to think it wouldn't matter, but he also had had his
girl, Stacy. As he thought back, she had been a bit shy for the
past year, hanging back while others interacted with him eagerly.
Now she gave him one warm, secret smile, and he smiled back, but
she still hung back.

After Anne had hit Rebecca, a word from Jacob made her stop, and
now she was standing there looking angry and surly. But Jacob
looked at her with the same kindness as ever -- the same faith
that she was a good girl and this goodness would come out more
consistently in due course. Yes, if circumstances were right, he
would have her on her back, hungrily removing her underpants,
hungrily penetrating her vagina, and with ecstasy filling her
with sperm. But the circumstances were not right and never would
be. He simply hid most of the sexual attraction he felt for her,
and the part he couldn't hide, he transformed into another strand
of caring and concern. Let her be protected from sexual
exploitation always.

He noticed Mrs. Smith watching him more than usual, which he
understood. But apparently she was satisfied that he was the same
teacher as he had always been.

---------------------------------------------------------

Stacy lay in bed with Jacob. This time he had relented and they
were both naked. They had slept together twice so far, and the
plan was three times a week. It took a bit of work so the other
girls weren't suspicious, but the two of them and Mrs. Smith
pulled it off. Mrs. Smith's crazy idea was that he would keep
getting satisfied, and that would make him want to stay. And
Stacy wanted it too.

"You know, you loved me better when you were drugged."

"I'm sorry... I'll try. It's just... I can't really be your
boyfriend."

"Deep down you want to. That's what the drugs do, let you do what
you want to deep down."

Jacob considered... To have a girl like Stacy for a real
girlfriend? It was almost as impossible a dream as sex.

Stacy reached down between them. "And your thing is hard and
ready, and you're trying to hide it from me." Jacob had pushed
his pelvis back to keep his hard-on away from her.

"Well, of course! I shouldn't even be in bed with you at all, let
alone naked."

"You're impossible," said Stacy, and pushed Jacob onto his back
and climbed onto him. He should make her stop at once. But he
didn't. She had a point that if she'd already endured a year of
abuse, two wouldn't be much worse. And by the same token, if he
was caught his jail time wouldn't differ much. Going to police
would be bad for everyone. He kind of knew he wasn't thinking
clearly.

Stacy pushed his legs apart a little, and arranged herself above
him. He made some motions to struggle, but he could have
struggled a lot harder.

Then he felt it... He felt the hot wetness of her vagina
enveloping his penis tip.

He gasped. Oh, heavens... Stacy was sort of raping him. And the
pleasure was so intense.

"You feel good, I can tell.." she said.

However much he wanted to, Jacob couldn't disagree. He didn't try
to disengage.

She engulfed his penis more -- it was shocking how much for a
little girl -- and then pulled back, then pressed down again. Oh,
it felt just so fantastic. He should stop it right now. That's
what he should do. He really should... But he didn't.

After a few minutes, Stacy said, "It's really tiring for me to do
it this way. You sure you won't help out a little?"

Jacob had been feeling terrific, but not especially near orgasm.
Oh, what the hell... He grabbed Stacy's hips, held her a little
above him, and flashed his penis in and out from underneath. In
twenty seconds he lunged and gasped, then let her down on him.

"Oh, no...." he groaned, as ecstasy faded and desire eased. He
had done just what he swore he wouldn't do. And there were no
drugs for an excuse this time.

Stacy looked down at him with a happy smile -- it was impossible
to believe it was forced. "Thanks for trying to put a baby in my
tummy! Babies are good!"

Jacob sighed. As he caught his breath he lay with his arm over
his face. Stacy snuggled up beside him.

His thinking was taking him new places. After several minutes, he
removed his arm and faced Stacy. His penis was as stiff as it
ever got. He wanted her. At least the part that made a penis big
wanted her.

Stacy looked at him for a moment with surprise, then gave a big
smile as she lay back on the bed with her legs spread wide, wide
apart. "I know that look!" she said.

"May I?" he asked, the good man asking permission.

"Yes!" said Stacy.

Jacob the good man then let loose his animal self. He beheld the
lovely hairless slit of his 7-year-old mate, spread her lips and
plunged in. He forced himself in deep. He pounded hard. He
grabbed her butt from behind so he could get into her that extra
little bit. "Unnh, unnh, unnh!" he grunted. Stacy smiled. He then
moved his arms behind her back to press their chests together
tightly, while below his cock pumped urgently in and out. He put
his head down on the pillow beside hers, looking away from her,
as his penis alternately filled her vagina and then drew back,
over and over. He turned to look at her little ear. Penis kept
thrusting into vagina below, over and over. He held his chest up
above her by leaning on his hands, looking down at the gorgeous
girl. He saw his shaft disappearing up inside Stacy between her
legs, a bit more shaft showing, then a bit less, while the tip
was never in view. It was going into her right between her legs,
just where a penis is supposed to go into a female, no matter the
age.

Stacy gave a mischievous smile. "Put a baby in my tummy? Please?"

Jacob the man smiled briefly, while Jacob the animal let his male
innards do their part. After a few more urgent thrusts, he shot
out one big glob of sperm just as the tip of his cock was in
Stacy as deep as it could, followed by three more, as he
continued to thrust in and out frantically.

As he calmed down and slid off of Stacy to the side, he felt just
a small wash of guilt, and brushed it aside. However strange the
circumstances, he was doing the right thing for everyone.

After an hour of snuggling and small talk and gentle touch, Stacy
said, "Now you're loving me even better!"

Jacob smiled at that. He felt like he was, in fact, loving her as
well as one person could love another. He also felt blood surging
into his penis. Stacy felt it too, and he could tell she felt it.

"I... that's not... We were talking about love, and I didn't
mean..."

"Doing sex to me is part of the love, too," said Stacy with a
kind smile, spreading her legs.

Jacob joined their bodies together once more, yielding to his
lust.

After he had relented and accepted he would be continuing to have
sex with Stacy, he approached the group of girls with even more
quiet determination. He did have his sexual desires, but he had
his regular mate who fulfilled them.

---------------------------------------------------------

Stacy was sleeping, but she stirred, feeling Jacob caressing her
from behind. They'd already done it three times before they fell
asleep. This was the first time he'd woken her up. She could push
him away, but...

"Can I do it again, from behind? I'll be really quick!" whispered
Jacob.

Stacy smiled, and arched her back. And she felt his penis slide
in -- she was plenty wet from all the sperm he'd given her
earlier -- his penis slid in farther and farther. And then his
presses, urgent, with one goal in mind... He gasped, then relaxed
and pulled away. He'd done it. Tried to put a baby in her tummy
again. She smiled as she drifted off.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jacob stayed at the school for three years, working miracles with
some very troubled little girls.

Stacy got a real foster placement at the age of nine, and she and
Jacob said tearful farewells. They had had three years together,
one that Jacob didn't remember and another two that he remembered
very fondly.

After a couple more years, Jacob started working as a regular
elementary school teacher. There were boys and girls both,
without hugs or sitting in laps. His time with Stacy was just a
golden era to remember. To be fair, lots of people only had a few
good years of sex in their life.

Ten years after they said goodbye, Stacy looked him up again. He
was so much nicer than all the boys she dated, and smarter too.

Jacob was flattered, but skeptical. But he found that his years
of passionate sex with the little Stacy had bonded him with her.
Given all their history, he found himself attracted to her adult
body because he could still see and even feel the small one it
had grown out of, and they made love the normal way, like the two
adults they were. They got married.

But Stacy knew what he really liked best, and a lot of the time
acted like a little girl in the dark. Jacob loved her all the
more for it. She kept thinking up new twists to keep things
spicy.

And by doing again and again what he had always wanted to do --
going in, in, in until he felt satisfied -- he put a baby in
Stacy's tummy for real! And then a couple years later, his
frantic thrusts and release started another one. And three years
later when his penis was as far up her vaginas it could possibly
go, his pulses of white stuff started a third one! All to the
delight of Stacy and Jacob both.

That's why men want to do it to their mates, and now and then,
when conditions are right, nature lets them actually start a
baby.

============================================================

What did you think? I'm always eager for comments, whether
positive, negative or mixed. Comments to sterling27@live.com.