Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. This is just a story, okay? Nobody is advocating you to enjoy sex with under-age people and most cross-dressers probably aren't gay. Yea, and most females who choose to hang around gay dudes aren't evil, either. Most 'fag-hags' seem to be actually be nice people and some may even resent that term of endearment. And it never was my intention to slander the vegan lifestyle, Wicca, Druids, the rest of the occult and all the other great religions of the world. This is just a story, okay? Merely the product of a terribly twisted mind - so enjoy! "Tales of the Evil Fag-Hag the 'Knob Polisher" a story of narcissism, astrology and Destiny by Quizzer "Another astro-narcissist" Stallion Freddy said about somebody we knew, it was a favored complaint of his about many of the people attracted into the occult these days. Those wanting to learn astrology, for instance, an astro-narcissist would only bother learning astrology - if it appeared useful in charting his own miserable life. "So anyone using the planets and signs (of the Zodiac) in their own (birth) chart is a narcissist to you!" Joan Davies asks Stallion Freddy directly. Joan is one of the more respected astrologers in our social circle. She's a forty-something chic, society lady striving to present astrology in a more professional manner. Quite a never-ending battle, I always remind her. You wouldn't believe all the screwballs, 'psychics' and assorted mental cases attracted to our favourite occult bookstore these days. "Look at the very words your people are using, Joanie." Freddy accuses her: "My Sun is in Scorpio and his Moon is in Leo' Of course it has to be narcissism! The entire Solar System doesn't really revolve around your horoscope - And it doesn't revolve around your life either!" I roll my eyes at Freddy's words because we've all heard those kinds of complaints before. Fred Majowski was one of those guys who had to dominate every organization (or conversation) he was ever involved in. As a health food fanatic and prosperous owner of several natural food stores, Fred Majowski often attended our new-age social gatherings with his entourage, his circle of like-minded vegan pals. Did I mention he was gay? Although blessed with masculine good looks, a muscular and robust body and active, well-cultivated mind - most of us who attended our favourite occult bookstore resented his arrogant, know-it-all attitude. I first ventured into the New Moon bookstore because attending astrology classes there became a perfect avenue for me to meet (and seduce) available young women. It was much better than hanging out at a bar or disco if you wanted to get laid. There were so many good looking and vulnerable females attracted into the occult. Once somebody confides in you about their own life and personal problems, they often consider you a friend. The astrology mumbo-jumbo was merely a useful tool for me to get to know the ladies better. Major league babes would pay attention to you merely if you spoke knowingly about their 'chart'. One's own horoscope showing where all the planets and Zodiac signs were at the exact time and place of your birth, all of us astrology fans had to believe in it. One could say that learning the proper astrology jargon put me far along the path to sexual adventure. Foxy looking babes and other important people were beginning to notice this blond-haired 18-year-old male buck too deep in his exotic new-age world of romance. Joan Davies, local astrologer and society matron, began inviting me to her much sought after Friday night social gatherings. There was plenty of wine and cheese to enjoy while my occult mentor offered her uptown, high-heeled friends palm, and/or Tarot card readings. Despite what our harsh occult faggot thought, I was certainly a believer in 'astro-narcissism', or whatever Freddy called it. I always enjoyed the company of Joan Davies, and appreciated her efforts inviting me to her much desired Friday night parties. So, I decided to stand with her, challenging Fred Majowsik amid his totally gay new-age entourage. "Leo, Freddy..." I had to tease. "You got my astrology chart backwards, you know? My Sun is in Scorpio and my Moon is in Pisces. You were talking about my astrology chart, right?" I've come to enjoy heckling, verbally teasing Freddy in front of our (largely female) occult bookstore crowd. Quite a few yuppie patrons of the occult bookstore seemed to appreciate my sassy teen-age wit, many astrology fans there hated to lock horns with - or even argue against such an arrogant occult know-it-all. "You two seem to encourage most of the astro-narcissism around here!" Freddy accuses this lady astrologer and me directly, Joan seemed girly amused. That charming and virile back door lover was paying her a flirty attention - but his dark eyes were making sensual gestures at me. Freddy's been acting like some dangerous forbidden suitor in teasing me lately - coming on like a potential romantic partner or something. How many times have I told him 'no'? I wasn't interested and wasn't gay. It was something wild and refreshing at first, having some prosperous and worldly buff cover hunk think you're really cute and hot - but Freddy's intense eyes of lust sometimes frighten me. Right about now I'm becoming aware that Freddy's vegan posse boys are giving me the evil eye. I had to look back self-satisfied at those perky in tight shorts vegan muscle boys too. Not much of a departure from the gay stallion's usual dating habits. Legal age but cute male tarts in sleek tight shorts and blinking long eyelashes; wearing that touch of femme Freddy seems to prefer in his cute-ass boys. I'll admit jealousy affected me, at those frequent new-age meetings and social events we knew - I made certain our paths would often cross. I truth, I never felt so alive until that handsome and strong forbidden lover was aroused and sexually interested. It became a pattern for us, those times we spent talking trash to one another were filled with light-hearted banter for a change. Whenever our paths crossed at the occult bookstore before, our relationship pattern consisted of the usual macho banter and verbal teasing. Silly me, taking sides on various power struggles inside our occult social circle, heckling the great stallion in front of his new-age entourage. The Fag-Hag certainly noticed, our furtive glances and facial gestures, maybe even a soft caress that reminded her of some wickedly intense sexual undercurrent that flowed between us two. Seeing Freddy kissy close and personal to some undeserving jaded male slut always turned my blue eyes lashing silly away so as not to see. For some wild reason I wanted that harsh but handsome gay stallion to ignore those slutty male predators and pay attention to me. It was sick to even think my heart was becoming drawn to him. That kind of romantic interest had to be against my entire up bringing, against all that was natural or even made sense. Yet, I wasn't fond of Freddy's vegan posse boys and even less fond of seeing those girly muscle sluts flirting brazenly around him. There was something about the guy that tickled my forbidden juices of imagination, the cool hawkish arrogance Stallion Freddy displayed amid his vegan boyfriend posse. This wickedly strong and handsome suitor who was also the 'Fag-Hag's' closest of friends, as luck would have it. That harsh vegetarian, gay stallion appeared as unattainable as any movie star, smiling at me like some kind of celebrity amid his new-age entourage. "Is this the Nar-ciss, Freddy?" This brassy teen-age punk rocker steps up close to the hard body strong gay stallion to boldly confront me. A young male outlaw I'd seen someplace before but couldn't place now. He was wearing that soft unisex, almost femme style the great stallion prefers on his lover-boys. This flaming out faggot boyfriend wore his hair longish and dyed an unnatural bright orange, looking pretty gay and sassy with that small, cute feline pug nose I wanted to punch out. A robust and cocky little buck about age seventeen or so, cross-dressed as a this female punk rocker. Another flaming out little gay firecracker for Stallion Freddy to enjoy, wearing black nylons under cheeky tight red shorts along with Doc Marten boots; a lavender halter top was tied girly around his neck, leaving the shoulders bare except for showing off real male muscles. "Nar-ciss???!" I ignore Stallion Freddy's rude gay bitch and face the most dominant romantic partner directly. At least the clue-less college freshmen the mean ole gay stallion usually fucks could pronounce 'narcissist' better than his illiterate gay sex toy. "Jealousy looks good on you!" The Fag-Hag cheerfully interrupted to tease me. I was tripping over my tongue to answer her until Freddy had to add: "Scorpio boys always get their panties in an uproar from seeing sexual competition!" "Tsk!" I smacked my lips in frustration while the Fag-Hag cackled wickedly at my expense. I was supposed to be the witty, teasing sassy one. This new-age party crowd began laughing wickedly amused now - by seeing me and Freddy's jealous femme muscle boy facing off like rival jungle cats. Every faggot deserves a 'Fag-Hag', I was thinking to myself bitterly. One of those pitiful females who seem to prefer the company of gay men, how often had I noticed forbidden love blossom under the 'Fag-Hag's' wing? Irene (alias the 'Fag-Hag') was once a fashion model now aging gracefully. She managed to marry well and became wealthy due to early widowhood. A female dressed in tweeds and Druid cloaks who dabbled in the occult arts, she advised Freddy on all his important business and personal affairs. The 'Fag-Hag' invested in him and he trusted her. Naturally, this witchy-on-steroids occult battle-axe never liked me much. I had to be the guy who first called her a 'fag-hag'. "Blondie boy is waiting patiently for his true love to arrive." Claire remarks to the Fag-Hag and everybody else to playfully torment me. "A lot of astrologers around here forecast a very serious romantic adventure for him soon. It'll be more like a marriage, some say - but nobody we know wants to be the lucky girl!" "He's certainly vulnerable to romantic changes." The Fag-Hag mused about my astrology chart in order to tease me. "We know the planet Uranus is closing in to oppose his natal moon, don't we? With that happening soon, our pretty little party-boy could easily choose his next sexual partner out of kinky rebellion!" "A boyfriend." Claire surmised in silly cruel agreement. Claire is another new-age vegan I've met in the occult. She's also a Goth with the pale facial skin and dark make-up. She's a seventeen-year-old lass with a curvy figure underneath her dark medieval aura - I think she's hot. A few of us guys tried to get inside her love life, of course. Cute and sensual chicks like Claire never seem to go for me. So, our relationship consisted of verbal banter and playful teasing. We sometimes spoke about astrology, using the jargon to become closer this major league babe I was getting to know in the occult. It was a tactic I'd often used before. Once somebody speaks to you about their life and personal problems - they often consider you as a friend. For this cynical Scorpio lad, it was just another step on the road to seduction. Too bad for me the goddess of forbidden love had other plans. The times Claire and I spend speaking together made me feel like an individual, but in a nice way. We'd even visit some new-age parties together and chitchat with her fellow vegan, Stallion Freddy. Even those instances were surprisingly pleasant. Whenever Claire and Freddy got together to scowl or frown at me, I felt an instant loss. My stormy relationship with the Fag-Hag began to improve as well - probably because I tried not to heckle her friend, Freddy at the occult bookstore as much. Like several of the Goth girls around here, Claire has a number of body piercings to display. Most of her body jewellery is fake, clip-ons really, but there's an actual star-shaped stud fixed to the middle of her tongue. One day I called it her 'knob polisher.' As in: "That 'knob polisher of yours must really tickle the pole when you're giving some guy oral sex!" So, I joked to Claire that we should go out more. I was trying to be a little bit nasty when I flirted with my favourite Goth girl, saying we should share my romantic moment when the stars supposedly promised to shine on me. Then I cruelly added: "Then I'd be able to enjoy your 'knob polisher' when you become my girlfriend. "I know you'd be something great when it comes to oral sex!" "Better get your tongue pierced too - Blondie boy!" The Fag-Hag advised to torment me. "That fine lover your astrology chart has in store for you could actually be a boyfriend - and He'd appreciate having a 'knob polisher' on you!" By now, even the spaced out girls I used to date after astrology class are totally laughing at my expense. Those very silly ass sluts I used to fuck for sport are becoming amused at the prospect. Laughing at the Fag-Hag's mean-spirited suggestion that my very special romantic partner would be butch and gay. "Is this occult groupie gonna be one of yours now, Freddy?" This vegan muscle boy remarks acidly about me. His name was Danny, once a regular guy from the old neighbourhood who used to party with us. That's how I remembered the kid - not some flaming out gay gym rat with smooth shaven legs, wearing skin tight shorts with this black halter top tied as a muscle t-shirt. "That wild-ass Barbie-boy we know must be really hot for you, Freddy!" Danny says correctly about me in front of just about everyone. Saying it wickedly mean in front of my homo-phobic drinking buddies too - me getting involved in the middle of some gay soap opera scene like this while others watch. A shiver of fear begins to enter my jaded teen-age heart, facing down one of Freddy's insecure vegan posse boys totally on the frazzled edge. A challenger like that in gym warrior shape would be hard for me to beat. "Can't you do something about your boys?" I remark almost acidly to the Fag-Hag and Freddy. It was almost as if I was getting punked for verbally teasing those two before, it wasn't as if anyone never tried to warn me. An older buddy of mine named Allan actually warned me about teasing that wickedly harsh gay stallion that the boys called 'Freddy Bear'. Allan is an old friend of my Mom's who happens to be gay - not a harsh occult faggot like Fred Majowski. Allan warned me once that hooking up with that gay booty bandit could actually ruin my life. We were drinking booze at the time so this silly young buck never took it seriously. I told Allan that I thought it was cool. It had been ages since anyone ever told this jaded male that any kind of forbidden fruit could ruin his life. That was about where my silly brain was at when I heard the Fag-Hag chant something silly. Freddy begins smiling at me now amid his new-age romantic circle, his posse of legal-age cute male bucks. None of them seemed imposing - but all were in wonderful shape. They were the lover-boys with adorable faces and the smoothest skin, younger guys with the fashionable hairstyles and made-up cute besides. Those insecure, emerging gay tarts must have devoted hours of vanity time to put the 'pretty' in 'boy'. While the Fag-Hag chuckled, the reality of it all became apparent; Fred Majowski could have just about owned any of those pretty, ass boyfriends if he really wanted to. It was about then that the entire sky or ceiling darkened as the Fag-Hag began to chant strange words to me. I felt this tingly surge of natural energy - a life force. My vision blurred while feeling this electronic tickle, a pulse. It felt like something inside my body was trying to establish this connection to some ancient deity. There seemed to be this sensation of calmness, even though my entire body was becoming a conduit for a mystical power which came from elsewhere. My mind had visions spinning around in a daze - until seeing myself in this dream image besides this altar with polished stone. There were hooded figures chanting memorized verse all around me in the forest. Cultists of the inner circle wearing black cloaks and attire in front of this stone tower, a structure in the woods standing in celebration to the Goddess. "Thank the Divine Mother for allowing this mere servant to perform her most High Magic.' One imposing hooded female chants to all. It must have been the High Priestess, I assumed. She was waving her magic wand over me decorated with this moon-shamed emblem. From astrology class we learned that the Moon was the oldest, most common universal deity. Early humans certainly worshipped the Great Mother and her wonderfully fertile, feminine life force of creation. Somehow, I felt a need to walk with the High Priestess as she walked towards the stone altar. I found myself nodding to her as she spoke about my karmic need to be 'cleansed'. A sceptic might conclude that I imagined all this in my so-called 'mind's eye' - that's occult talk for daydreaming and letting your imagination run wild, but I never felt so filled with wonderment at the time. The rational image of reality may have dissolved, but the aura felt was curious and exciting - one with certain sexual arousal. "The Goddess does not often reveal her secrets to undeserving males." The High Priestess concluded, "but she has been known to punish the proud and the cynical. In your case, she must restore the natural sexual karma." "We don't get to choose our future life-mates totally by accident." This other hooded figure remarks behind me like a friend trying to explain. Her voice had this eerie quality, but familiar: "Only the ruling Goddess of Nature gets to choose our mating times and romantic destiny. Your own astrology chart promises a serious romantic coupling. Are you ready to allow Mother Nature to take her course?" I nodded in agreement but turned around to see; an 18-year-old male buck curiously standing amid this dream image of Goddess rites, and wondering about this wickedly familiar voice coming from behind. "Irene!" I gasped in surprise - seeing this Medieval cloaked figure pulling down her hood. It was the FAG HAG! ...Revealing herself in a game of mystical demonic revenge!!! I couldn't even imagine such a emotional checkmate, in awe of my occult nemesis and her ability to torment my inner mind. Just as I was about to say something to the Fag-Hag, we were both distracted by seeing this brilliant flash of light near the altar. All the dreamy visions of Druids, hooded figures in the woods and ancient altars vanished in an instant. We returned to the occult bookstore and its ordinary vision of reality. We both noticed Stallion Freddy in this dusty halo of light, a most confident suitor standing inside the doorway and beckoning me to come with his single demanding finger.... I became captivated against my will, feline aroused by Freddy's mystical exotic aura of real male virility. "Oh, I suppose...." The Fag-Hag pretended to scold me, tickled pink when she noticed me giving her friend Freddy a sultry smile. She must have been amused when I began noticing her dearest of friends in a new romantic light. "You've already convinced me and your inner Goddess about love in the air." She remarked in dismissal loud enough for Danny and Claire to hear: "You clueless male tarts always amuse me with your silly romantic plots!" I was still in awe of her closest of occult friends, now a magnetic and strong forbidden sexual partner beckoning me to join him. Freddy's confident warrior fingers were still pointing the path to rapture for us alone, our roadmap for karmic reunion through mystic haze. Coming out towards this destiny, I noticed my walk was somewhat different now. My feet touching lightly across the floor in a way that made my hips sway to and fro. It was a way of walking some of Freddy's boys did because he said he liked it. As if my buns had to swing for him now and it was really cool because all of those other guys really noticed. This lusty new world of adventure simply exploded when my totally awesome warrior/lover kissed me, his dominant demanding lips easily taking mine in passing. It had to be the most heavenly kiss of rapture- and I never even seen it coming! Our jubilant feet and lips never even missed a beat, slipping outside arm-in-arm together. "He'll definitely expect you to do stuff!" Danny had to add watching us leave. Claire nodded. "You'll be needing a 'knob polisher' tonight - lover-boy!!!" Claire enthused as me and Freddy laughed on the way out. My jaded heart was already beating like jungle drums while running away with the prize. It had to be our magic moment and we were really excited about it, so cheerfully in each other's world. We were still laughing about stuff inside Freddy's car on the royal road to his house, our shared bedroom - and certain rapture. Giggling like pre-teens actually... To be continued... 7 7