Entry 113 I had this recurring dream Diary, now like for the third time. But before I write it down, I just read the left page and OMG what drugs was I on? I don’t remember writing it, I would never call myself Bambi unless it was like on Halloween and I had antlers on! OK, so now the dream was: I was outside this house, a split level, nice place. It’s usually cold and I have my coat on. If I ever see this light brick place I’ll know it instantly- it has shudders, and the front door is like got crystal glass in it. I rang the bell, and I stepped inside, with this casserole dish in my hands- it has aluminum foil on top, I still don’t know what I made! Ok next thing I see I’m in the doorway, I handed my coat to someone, a woman in this miniskirt strapless dress- crushed polyester black, like one I use to have before my parents cut up all my “evil” clothing. She goes downstairs where its dark, and there’s all this laughing and stuff, but foreboding kinda, and I have this casserole dish, and I look up to the right and there’s people drinking stuff and talking, in this livingroom with dark green shag carpet. Then I’m in the kitchen, I’m setting down the dish on this kitchen table that’s full of dishes, and plates of things, and warming trays. There’s a man and woman making out against the dishwasher that’s running, and they just look over and smile and keep on, so I get flushed but I ignore them, cuz its a party and whatever you know? Anyways someone out in the living room ( upstairs) says “hey Wendy come out here a minute”, stuff like that not exact, and it changes cuz once it was a woman asking me to come help her. Anyways then I’m usually sitting on my knees, leaning against the sofa, and someone’s legs, listening to these people talk, and they’re talking about the uses of hypnosis in therapy. Then the person sitting on the sofa , who I’m leaning against I think, gets up, and there’s a leash! There’s this quick little snap of a tug, and I start following them! It’s really weird. At the stairs down, I stood cuz I had to go downstairs and then I saw the basement living room. It’s like a cross between the private dance room at the club, and like a den. Large and warm, too warm, and even the walls are carpeted with this soft shag stuff. But everything’s dark so light is kinda absorbed. There’s maybe 20 people. Most are dressed in formal or casual party clothes, except for: The man in the center of the room, who is naked, with his arms on his hips, frozen in place like some kind of statue with a stiffy; The woman that took my coat, who is smiling at me and agreeing with the man holding my leash. She usually says something like, “She doesn’t realize does she?” Then the whole room laughs. And me. I look at myself and I am completely naked except for the leather thing hooked around my neck, which chaffs when it turns, scratching my neck and the skin on my collarbones. They are all laughing and when I reach up to unhook the chain, one of two or three things happens, in different order. Twice, There was a whistle, and he said “SIT!” My butt slammed down on my heels so hard one almost got lodged up there! Anyways a glance around at all the laughing people and I got scared and as I started to run was the NEXT STEP. Once, I pull on the chain and he pulls back and I fall to the ground, my bare bosoms scrape the carpet. I look up from all fours and then was the NEXT STEP. Once , the last time, I got the chain off, and the crowd cheered! I turned to run and ,,, NEXT STEP I’m kneeling in front of the statue man, and everyone is around us. Someone is massaging my shoulders, saying “it’s ok, good, very good, “ like that. I’m just minding my own business kinda, and I realize at some point that I have licked his left leg clean, from his ankle up to the thigh, and I have started on his genitals. I can write exactly what it looked like, the veins, the mushroom cap top it had, how it sprung when I’d lick it and push it to the side, and it bounced back pointing straight up. That man’s voice was saying something about doing a good job, and usually says “You’re such a good girl” over and over. Usually I wake up there, but last time, I remember very clearly my nose was like against the side of his organ, and I was licking the side and bottom of his scrotum, and I guess he orgasmed because it was suddenly all over my eyebrows and nose! I sat up that night screaming and wiping my face, but everytime has concluded by me jumping in the shower and driving myself to a quick climax. I’m on the lookout for that house, that man’s cologne, and I already know where that leash is- I saw it in Petsmart. No, I didn’t buy it.