Slippers Entries
Entry 36

Diary, you know that field at the end of Fifth Street? It's
almost a mile to the field, down this dead end road in our
small country town, so obviously its sooo the perfect walk
to think and get some exercise too! It didn't seem that far
walking out there. I was thinking about last week and the
trip to Florida. There’s this uneasy feeling I sometimes
get, like cotton stuck in an ear; it's not painful, I just
want it cleared, you know? I’m not sure what it is that is
making me feel uneasy, but one thing I garnered from all
that therapy I have had, is when you feel it, dive in and
analyze it right then. So I walked, not really heading
anywhere, just thinking.
   The sun was really beating down, and there wasn't any
breeze, so I was pretty happy to see Joe's truck in the
field about 7 or 8 soccer fields from the electric fence by
the weedy ditch at the road's end. Not just because he’s
like, become this great friend, but his truck has air
conditioning, and the only shade out in that huge field of
cows and dragonflies is 2 trees on the horizon! I watched
him for about 5 minutes. He's getting in such good shape!
That fencing work and cattle will put the muscles on you I
guess, and he's about 6 foot 3, big bones, ( I think, he
wears boots,) really large hands, and hairy still- still my
Bear. But He's under 300 now, and it’s all rippling when his
shirt's off and he's unloading those water troughs into the
pasture- and tan! Oh my god.
   Joe lifted me 3 feet in the air, and crushed my boobs
flat against his sweaty chest with a hearty laugh. I
couldn't help but laugh too! My white T-shirt was pretty
muddy then, with an imprint of his body in soil, where his
sweat had like been absorbed. He asked me about my parents,
and I just dumped. I've always been able to tell him
everything and the latest thing with Daddy just rolled out.
I showed him the bruise on my shoulder, and the cut on my
right hip, which wasn’t hard since its just below the
beltline and soccer shorts are elastic! We walked through
the shin high grass, seemingly going nowhere- I guess I was
just following Joe as I rambled. He has a way of asking
questions- the kind you can’t just answer yes or no to- that
really helps me get it all out. Just airing it all made me
feel so much better, you don’t know.
   Joe stopped and wiped the hair out of my eyes, wiping the
sweat off my forehead too. He said "See those cows? Look
carefully at Wendy-baby cows. They worry about having sex,
birthing calves, and eating. See how relaxed and happy they
are baby? We can learn a lot from them." I stood, watching
this black and white Guernsey dairy cow as her calf sided up
to her. How serene she was. How happily she filled her
purpose in the great scheme, you know? It just gets clearer
the more you think about it Diary. The nonsense, the true
purpose, the need, you know? The calf craned its head under
its mother, and its lips nibbled around till it found its
lunch connection, pulling with short heavy jerks on her
teet.
   My left breast jerked in a huge spasm, and I gasped and
clutched it with both hands. Joe wasn’t really paying
attention so I massaged it lightly. That's when the right
one jerked too. It sooo hurt and nearly dropped me to my
knees, oh crud did it ache. Joe was busy kinda and I didn’t
think he’d notice so I quickly unclasped my bra under the t-
shirt and reached up under the cups to massage them. They
felt 200% better just by massaging them and even 200% more
when I started lightly tugging on the nipples. I didn't
notice I had closed my eyes see, and I opened them to see
another calf was on the cow's free side, and his head was
pressing against her tummy with his wet black nose as he
rooted for her sweet milk.
   I guess Joe had been saying something over his shoulder
but I couldn't really hear him and anyways I forgot it. It
must have been a question because I said yes, maybe just to
keep him talking. I suppose that’s when I lifted my shirt up
over my head. My hair pulled through and fell onto my back,
I remember. As my arms lowered, both breasts jerked in a
powerful spasm that unlocked my knees, driving them into the
soft, dry, dark earth. My soccer shorts were still clean
though. I remember crying out "OH!" and falling to my hands
and knees. The pain made me wince, and hold my breath for
several seconds. I think I might have even blacked out a
little. I remember Joe was talking, engrossed in work I
think, bless him for trying to help me. He's so wonderful
for putting up with me and the strange forces at work in my
life.
   So anyways I opened my eyes and gasped, I mean you would
too. It looked like Joe, but he was wearing these Carhartt
coveralls and boots, and this silly straw hat- and Joe
doesn’t DO straw hats, you know? If he ever does wear that
though, Oh My God will he look hot! This “farmer” Joe had a
toolbox in one hand and walked in a slow circle around me. I
went to stand up and the pain in my lower back brought
instant tears. Then I noticed cuz I think I was going to
wipe the tears away, I could not bend my elbows! I just
looked at my elbow in disbelief, and that’s when Farmer Joe
smacked my right buttcheek! I screamed this huffy soundless
thing of a scream, and tried to kick him, but my lower back
was so tired, so sore, I just couldn’t. I had no other
options so I ran. My hands pounded into the dirt and my
knees too- God it’s so clear now.
   You can’t imagine how scared you can be of a farmer
psycho smacking your butt, and yet how like, erotically
supercharged the grass can make you as it brushes your
swinging boobs! I was furiously like, stumping along in the
humid mid-day sun! I was pounding like an elephant toward
the road, still some 7 soccer fields away. There was 2 steer
ahead of me, I can still see them, not really caring about
me or anything, just how great, like, the grass tasted.
That grass was doing to me what my fingers had been moments
before- the pain in my back and joints, my neck and boobies,
was relieved and they were so sensitive! The bouncing and
swinging of my walking on all fours was unbelievable- I
don’t think I can write it as awesome as it felt, all
through me, from my scalp, my ears, down my arms, my back,
my hips and legs, my tummy and all the soft places.  I guess
I closed my eyes, but they snapped open pretty quick when I
felt his hands around my waist! I bolted from his grasp
really well, but “running” was tricky cuz I guess he had
gotten my pants down and as I shuffled / ran, they kinda
scootched down my thighs. I spread my legs to keep them up,
but the running and all, you know. So they slipped down, over
my knees, and flipped off my feet into that pasture. I was
so ticked that they got dirty!
   Sweaty hair was sticking to my face, I recall. There was
this little dip in the ground, and I was trying to walk over
it but when you can’t bend your elbows it’s sooo difficult!
As I was picking my footsteps around the hole, he stood
beside me. He started rubbing my left buttcheek, and
Ohmygod, this shiver shocked all the way through me! He
said, “There, girl, there there,,,” and I just was like
feeling, “I love you soooo much!” But I only stood there
like that a couple minutes. His hand had rubbed up my spine,
wiping the perspiration along my ribs too, and down my hips.
It was when he squeezed my left rear quarter I cleared my
head and bolted, getting away from him cleanly! Five years
of soccer and twenty years of dance paid off. I know I’m
able to protect myself if I ever really have to, you know?
   It’s really tough to walk up a hill slope on four feet
without bending your elbows! And the grass seemed higher
too. It rubbed my boobs, jostling them see? It swiped along
my underbelly and across my thighs. And it made thinking
more and more difficult too, or it was the joint and back
pain. As I got to the top of that little ( it sooo didn’t
feel little) slope, I saw the fence appear in the distance,
and the 2 young steers about a hundred yards away. I was
renewed, totally! I was panting hard, determined like I’ve
never been before, to get there! I was sooo out of breath, I
yelled for help and all I could manage was this wheeze
thing, and it made me even more out of breath! My back and
joints hurt so much I could barely take it and GOD was it
hot.
   Stomp-Stomp-Stomp, I could see the mailman’s truck far,
far away, on the dead end road. Sure I felt like sooo
embarrassed and all, I would so hate to crawl up the road,
naked, but I was more scared of Farmer Joe! I was near the
steers then. They were so young, and cute! They weren’t at
all scared either, maybe cuz I was like half their height?
My hands were so dirty. A sharp twig stuck me in the left
hand pinky and crud! I felt it tingle and sting all up my
leg! I shook my hand in the air, the twig dangling like from
me. Suddenly my leg Left Arm I mean (god), was grabbed!
Farmer Joe had kneeled beside me and placed my hand on his
left knee, removing the twig slowly. I think he did it slow,
wiggling it a little just to make it hurt more! I cried,
pulling my hand away and was sooo going to bolt away but I
stepped down on my hurt leg and oh god! Tears were rolling
but I turned to the right see, hobbling but moving pretty
good I think! God It’s like I was there again, I can see it
perfectly, smell the hot grass, feel the pain everywhere,
the dragonflies in my hair, jeez.
   That was when Farmer Joe rubbed my back, his hand slowly
wiping the beads of sweat from my neck, down the spine, over
the shoulder blades supporting more weight than normal. They
were tired, but his touch magically made them sooo much
better. His hand got down to the small of my back, that
triangle shaped bone, you know? It was like sucking the pain
and stiffness into his hand, and I had to get away! I
stepped away a step or two, but see, remember earlier, how
super sensitive my boobs were?
   His left hand rubbed firmly down my ribs, I can so
totally feel it now, dropping  just behind my left front
leg. It slid down my left boob stiffly, and when he reached
the nipple, he spread his hand open, and all his fingers
began to alternate pressure, massaging and tugging. I heard
this gasp, I think it was me. I was shocked at how instantly
pain everywhere was going away, and how heavy and relaxed I
was quickly becoming. My shoulders sagged, down toward his
tugging massaging, beautiful hand. It was terrifying- like
the death sentence people must feel, body relaxing from the
lethal injection, feeling so good, and sleepy,  fearing what
unknown horror awaits!
   I sidestepped to the right, but his grip on my tit or
boob I mean caused this harsh tugging. I pulled from his
grip, and his arm did not move. I pulled again! His grasp
was like iron and I pulled again, and again, and again. He
was saying “Good girl, fight it,, there’s a girl,,” and it
was making me so mad ! I screamed with all my strength but
it came out like this deep moan, or sigh kinda. I leaned to
the right more, shuffling over, prepared for his strong
hands to rip my tit off, but still trying to break loose from
him- struggling so hard to get aroused from his grasp.
   I thought I was getting away too, I was sidestepping,
one, two, three steps, even though he was tugging still,
jerking and massaging, squeezing motions like, from the top
to the nipples, the sweat making his hands slide. The inside
of my thighs felt hot, and there was this weakness coming
on, but my hips kept rocking to the right, trying to jerk
free. My boobs were swinging as I rocked, and wow, did that
feel good. I didn’t notice when he had done it, but both his
huge hands were full of my 35D mammaries, squeezing,
caressing, tickling the tits and tugging, tugging, tugging.
First the left one, then the right, consistent, continuous,
comforting. Im not sure how long I was there, it was so hot,
I was dizzy, and so weak. Every nerve was so sensitive! They
relayed everything instantly. How wonderful his rough hands
felt on my smooth teets, how his tugging kept perfect time,
the sweat beads dripping off my nose, the gentle swaying of
my hips, how wet I was between my thighs, that hot, electric
feeling when an orgasm is so very close.
   I guess I was saying “yes, yes,, oh yes,,” like that,
panting and swaying to his motions.  I was so sleepy, but my
senses were so alive! I felt on the edge of climax but was
so heavy I couldn’t hardly move. I’m sure about then is when
he stopped. I sat still for him, till I felt his hand under
my chin, tugging on it and my jaw sort of, while my farmer
Joe was saying “Come along now, follow me girl, obey me now,
there’s a girl.” I needed to go, God I needed to cum.
   That “girl” thing just sucked my will right out of me. I
stared at his crotch and walked along, my teets dragging in
the grass, so sensitive, so ready for his milking hands. He
was talking, soothing, reassuring, not like he needed to
though cuz where else would anyone feel safer? We somehow
were back at his truck, by the back, where there was an old
wood plank from the tail to the ground. He was pulling on my
chin, up the ramp, but I just couldn’t get up it! It was too
steep for my elbows, and I was so weak, and anyways I wasn’t
going up there!
   He stepped around in front of me, sitting on the
tailgate, and opened his little toolbox. Out he pulled a
thick black collar, with a large copper bell on it. He was
saying “how wonderful you feel, how wonderful you obey
girl,, how wonderful the bell sounds, listen,,” and he said
it over and over, repeating and ringing the bell lightly. I
guess  the collar, the bell, the climax- I closed my eyes. 
   I opened them, and there I was, where I always had been,
sitting on the tailgate as Joe finished setting the trough.
The whole thing had been another of these dreams, and Joe
didn’t notice my episode, but he did ask if I was alright,
that I looked pale. I didn’t feel pale, I felt sunburnt, and
sweaty all over, but I said I was ok. He probably thought  I
was still thinking about the night before with Daddy, but I
was soooo over it! It’s amazing how a daydream can make
everything feel sooo much better!
   It was late, so I asked him to drive me back up to my
parents’ place, and of course he said sure. The air
conditioning was only on me for 5 minutes but it made me
feel perfect instantly, goosebumpy and tired. I zoned out a
little, so I’m not sure what he was saying then, but I just
did like everyone does, saying, “uh-huh,” or “yeah, I see,”
soaking in the ice cold air. He said something and I looked
up and we were in the driveway. Panic exploded like all
through me cuz if they were home, and saw me there was no
telling what would happen, so I smiled, kissed his cheek and
thanked him for being such a good friend. Then I leaped out
of his rattly truck and ran inside and showered. God you
wouldn’t believe all the dirt and sweat! Ick. I'm going 
out there next week to help and talk, I hope its cooler.