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 Trainee Nurse

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   Chapter 2 - Cathy

   Before we continue relating Cathy's interview with Mr Reynolds, there
are some details the reader must know about Cathy and her upbringing in
order to make sense of events.  This is because Cathy and her past are both
sufficiently unusual that if the reader attempts to 'live' these events as
interpreted from their own experience, they will be misled.

   Cathy was born with a highly pronounced clitoris, that even at birth
projected like a tiny penis considerably past the labia of her otherwise
normal genitals.  Her parents were strongly religious, and declined medical
recommendations that her 'abnormality' (as the doctors called it) be
surgically corrected soon after birth.  The doctors had tut-tutted, and
explained that 'clitoro-megaly' occured in perhaps one female newborn in a
thousand, and conventional medical wisdom advised early surgical cosmetic
correction in order to avoid potential embarrassment and other 'sexually
related' difficulties later in life.  The operation was routine and safe,
they said, and performed on infants many times each year across the
country, without any complications.  However her parents had stood their
ground, invoked God's mysterious ways, and inisted the righteous should not
question or attempt to defeat His purpose.

   Her father died in a car accident (other driver drunk) when she was 2,
so she doesn't remember him at all.  Her mother had raised Cathy very
strictly, and had very firmly forbidden Cathy from ever 'touching herself
in her naughty place.' Watched like a hawk even as a baby, Cathy had been
immediately punished any time her hands had strayed anywhere near her
crotch.  Her hands would be slapped sharply away, and any sign of
persistence would bring her a spanking on her bare bottom.  Her mother was
also quite obsessive about cleanliness - when bathing Cathy even as a baby,
she would pay particular attention to the child's crotch - and the large
clitoris.  Which from earliest infancy would swell in response to being
stroked with a washcloth, oiled, or rubbed with talcum powder.  Her mother
found this quite unsettling, taking it as an indication that Cathy was
prone to carnal tendencies.  Consequently becoming even more watchful and
strict in her punishments of any 'naughty touching'.  As well as going to
greater lengths to ensure that area was always very well cleaned and
'irritations' prevented by daily application of skin creams and oils,
worked well into the skin around the vulva and on the clitoris itself.

   So Cathy had grown up deeply conditioned to never touch herself for
pleasure.  Even past the age of 10 her mother had still bathed Cathy
entirely herself, and continued her practice of either oiling or powdering
Cathy's genitals after a bath, with particular attention paid to Cathy's
'so easily irritated' overgrown clitoris.  As Cathy approached her teens
this would be tinglingly erect more and more often, and invariably became
rigidly swollen during Cathy's bath even before her mother's disapproving
ministrations with oils and powders after drying her off.  Cathy was also
quite used to painful spankings for any display of 'lustful' behaviour
during this process.  About all she could get away with was a deepening of
her breathing - any kind of squirming or sighing would earn her a spanking
and heaven forbid she make any move to touch the achy throbbing center of
'sinful urges' between her legs, or moan as her mother massaged oil into
the rigidly engorged fleshy finger projecting so obscenely from her
puffy-lipped slit.

   At around the age of twelve, her mother had decided to see if Cathy
could be trusted to perform her own bathing and toilet duties in the
future. And so began an even more strict regime, in which her mother would
closely supervise and instruct Cathy in wiping, drying, oiling, etc, all
with an absolute minimum of touching, and quite severe punishments for
'lingering'.  Her mother lectured her over and over on the vital necessity
of refusing the Devil's temptations, and how any kind of unnessesary
contact with her 'nasty places' could only make the disturbing sensations
and desires worse.  How if she succumbed to those urges, her soul would be
damned and her body doomed to a rapid decay into decadence and illness. 
Any time her mother felt Cathy had lingered too long with her oiling, she
would administer a practical demonstration to Cathy of how the feelings
would just get worse and worse with excessive touching - her mother would
carefully rub her oiled fingers over the throbbing hard clitoris, till
Cathy was panting and writhing in an unbearable aching haze of powerful,
indescribable sensations, as if her entire body was in a fever.  "There,
you see?  That's what happens if you succumb.  When you marry you'll have
to endure such torment and worse to satisfy your husband's carnal desires.
But till then may God grant you the wisdom and strength to avoid these
temptations of the flesh." After which, Cathy usually receive a sound
spanking for letting her body behave so lustfully, followed by her mother
re-applying the lotions that had got rubbed off during the spanking.

   Her intent had been to allow Cathy to take over her own hygene.  However
Cathy's body now invariably became highly aroused soon before her regular
bath times, and neither of them knew about Pavlovian conditioning.  So
Cathy's mother interpreted it as the girl's 'carnal anticipation of genital
touching' - of _wanting_ to touch herself, while Cathy denied this, and her
mother took her denials as evidence the girl could not be trusted to tell
the truth.  Also, she often felt that Cathy took liberties with her
necessary hygene - an oiled finger pressed too deeply or lingering too long
between her labia, too much rubbing of moisturising cream into swollen
labia or stroking it too firmly along her rigid stand-out clit.

   So it had continued - despite having been coached in personal hygene and
resistance of her body's urges, her mother continued to closely supervise
Cathy during bath and toilet times, going on into Cathy's teen years.  As
she developed into puberty new dimensions of the 'woman's suffering'
arrived - her breasts grew full and their nipples began echoing the
oversensitive swollen torments between her legs.  Her periods began, and as
if the monthly pains and mess were not enough, her clitoris seemed to
become possessed by the devil himself.  Now it would choose any seemingly
random moment of the day or night to suddenly swell into distracting
throbbing stiffness that would continue relentlessly tormenting her for
hours or sometimes even days.  At such times her nipples would also harden,
standing out like the tips of her little fingers from her breasts.  Both
her clitoris and nipples had grown in size along with the dark hair
sprouting between her legs and under her arms, and also become far more
sensitive to irritations from the cloth of her clothing.

   Given the size of her clitoris even when not erect and before it grew
bigger in her early teens, Cathy's mother had always had to make
modifications to things like the onepiece bathing suits she wore to the
beach.  In her childhood, there'd been a firm layer of coarse felt-like
material sewn into the crotch, to hide the shaming bump her clit made when
it stiffened under ordinary swimsuits.  Cathy loved going to the beach, but
didn't so much enjoy those visits when her clit had hardened and grated for
hours against the scratchy, wet inner lining.

   With her puberty, this problem had grown much worse.  For one thing her
clit had enlarged and strengthened in it's erections so much that a simple
stiff pad was no longer sufficient to hide it.  The entire pad would be
pushed outwards, looking quite noticably odd.  Worse, with the increased
sensitivity and tendency to spontaneous arousals, she'd find herself
achingly stiff and aroused within minutes of donning the swimsuit, and most
uncomfortable with her rigid clitoris bent over under the coarse pad
material.  Also now with her nipples there was the added problem of needing
reinforced bra cups, with a similar discomfort and irritation as her
crotch.

   Of course her mother noticed the changes and decided that Cathy should
not be allowed to go to the beach unchaperoned.  Around age 13, when her
friends were starting to go to the beach in groups without their parents,
Cathy was forbidden to go to the beach unless accompanied by her mother.

   Even worse, around 15 Cathy again attempted to get permission to go to
the beach with friends, and received another of mother's disapproving
lectures about the increasing frequency of Cathy's carnal thoughts, judging
by how often she noticed Cathy getting aroused even in house clothes. 
Cathy laid the blame for her worsening erections of the rubbing of the
cloth against her clitoris and nipples, and mentioned that this was
happening a lot to her lately with ordinary clothes, for the same reason.

   This was a mistake.  Her mother got the idea in her head that Cathy
needed to be even more closely monitored for carnality.  She began doing
spot checks several times a day, in which Cathy was required to present her
bare breasts and crotch.  Much to her mother's consternation it transpired
that Cathy was indeed found to be in heat during many of these inspections.
Obviously, more serous disciplinary measures were called for.

   So began an interval of nearly a year, in which Cathy would be inspected
frequently during non-school days and evenings, and given a sound spanking
every time she was found to be aroused.  The inspections also became
routine at bedtime and again in the morning.  Rather than a spanking just
before bed, if found to be aroused Cathy would be tied spreadeagled into
bed.  After a few months of this, what with Cathy's arousal every bathtime,
and often still being aroused later at bedtime, her mother changed the
arrangements for simplicity.  She made Cathy take her daily bath just
before bed, and then tied the girl into bed every night.

   She'd also heard that a couple of girls in Cathy's year at school had
become pregnant.  Cathy was very rarely allowed to go out with friends, but
the pregnancies weighed on her mother's mind and so she began checking
Cathy's 'intactness' every night once the girl was tied down in bed.  She
also switched the application of oil and skin creme from in the bathroom,
till when Cathy was spread on her back in bed, since this was more
convenient.  Especially since she now also applied lotion to the girl's
breasts and particularly her nipples.  In addition it saved her the effort
of having to spank Cathy when the girl failed to control her squirming
during the oiling, since she accepted it was pointless to spank the girl
just before trying to go to sleep, and she'd come to realise that the girl
was just too carnally inclined to be able to hold completely still for
this. Besides, dropping the requirement for Cathy to hold quite still meant
she could be much more thorough in her ministrations, and make sure to work
the creams in well everywhere.

   There was another side effect too.  She was becoming exceedingly vexed
with the girl's perpetual disappointing failure to control her urges, and
she had to admit, there was a distinctly vindicating element to seeing her
daughter's slutty nature rise to the surface, the girl's body twisting and
bucking like some whore under a man, whimpering and moaning with her surely
carnal thoughts.  All for the trifle of her own mother's hands innocently
applying some soothing lotion to the swollen, irritated genitals, and
probing carefully against the girl's intact virginity.  The whole thing was
so...  outrageous!  It made her own pulse beat like a drum, and since she'd
decided that prolonging the activity was a most appropriate punishment for
all the times she discovered the girl indulging her carnality during the
day, with that freakish clitoris of hers sticking out provocatively like an
erect penis...  well!  The ungrateful girl deserves the discomfort, and
plenty of it.  She also finds that the activity makes her perfomance in her
own bed later of her dear late husband's last wishes far more satisfactory.
Bless him for such thoughtfulness on his deathbed!

   Soon after Cathy's 16th birthday, Liz decides that since Cathy so often
turns out to be aroused when inspected, and since Cathy keeps insisting
that it's only due to her clothes rubbing on her sensitive parts, that
another tack should be tried.  Liz orders Cathy to remain naked at all
times when inside the house and rear yard.  The yard is enclosed and
private, with a high stone fence and surrounding bush.  The new rule is
that Cathy will be spanked any time she is seen to be aroused.  If she
comes to her mother and reports her arousal immediately, it will be two
smacks.  If she is discovered in arousal without having reported it to Liz,
she will receive 10 smacks.  In either case, while remaining aroused she
must stay in her mother's sight.  As long as her arousal remains, she will
receive another two smacks every half hour.

   Surprisingly, this arrangement works out quite well.  After a slow
start, in which Cathy keeps trying to hide her frequent arousals but keeps
getting caught, she learns that it is better to front up to Liz whenever
her clit stiffens.  The experience of invariably getting at least two
painful smacks every time her sex stirs, actually does start to reduce the
frequency of her daytime arousals.  After six months she is sometimes going
for several days without a spanking.  On the other hand, her arousals
during the 'going to bed' routine are becoming ever more intense and
persistent, as are the times when she does experience a spontaneous daytime
arousal.  Liz feels that the nights Cathy is unable to sleep due to
'naughty thoughts' are bad for her school work, and to help her get to
sleep Liz knits her a clit-cozy from prickly wool.  This is a woollen tube
with a closed end, that slips snugly over Cathy's erect clit.  At the base
there are tie-strings that go between her legs and also up in front to a
waist tie, to hold it in place.  When her clit is erect and pressing
tightly inside the hot woolly tube, it is quite uncomfortable.  It also
prevents her clit rubbing against the bedsheets on nights too cold for her
to sleep uncovered.  Both help her arousal to subside faster, thus allowing
her to sleep.

   Meanwhile, Cathy's pubic hair has been growing in, and by her 17th
birthday is quite a thick, dark mass.  It obscures her sex fairly well, and
when fluffed up almost obscures her clitoris unless it is at it's most
extended.  Cathy starts to shirk telling Liz whenever she's starting to get
aroused, and it doesn't take Liz long to cotton on.  Liz decides that her
daughter's pubic hair is an obstacle to careful monitoring.  So one evening
she uses a permanent depiliatory cream on Cathy's sex before her shower. 
Liz finds the idea an immediate success - she's absolutely shocked at how
many times Cathy must have been hiding her arousals in that hair, judging
by how often she finds the girl aroused once her pubes are laid completely
bare.  She had thought the girl was making progress against her sinful
lusts, but now realises the problem is worsening seriously.  Liz imposes
some new rules - she requires Cathy to stand in a 'presenting' pose when
administering spankings for arousals.  The girl must stand with her legs
wide apart, and pubes thrust forward.  Her mother uses a wooden spatula to
spank her directly on her sex for 'caught' arousals, and still hand spanks
her bottom for admitted arousals.  The spatula is harsher on the skin, so
she also adds a rub-in of healing cream after each sex-spanking.  Of
course, since the girl is still in pain at the time, she relaxes her rule
that Cathy must remain silent and motionless during lotion application.

   This too works well, since now Liz is able to apply the lotion much more
thoroughly, and for longer, while being sure to avoid anything 'sexual'
such as an accidental orgasm.  She becomes quite a practiced expert at
judging which of the girl's bestial contortions and moanings indicate a
too-close approach to the unthinkably forbidden sin of unwedded sexual
climax.  It's all for the best, since the more confident Liz becomes of her
ability to judge when to pause for a while to avoid risk of Cathy having an
orgasm, the more efficiently and carefully she can apply the creams.

   For several months after the depiliation, Liz almost despairs of saving
Cathy from the Devil's lusts.  It seems as if the girl has no sooner
received one chastisement, than she is found in sin again, her clitoris
standing stiffly from her sex.  Some days seem like a never ending round of
punishments of the girl, who's genitals seems possessed by some perverted
demon.

   But eventually, Liz gains the upper hand, and Cathy becomes able to go
for longer and longer intervals without sinning.

   Despite her unusual home life Cathy graduates high school at 18, and
decides she wants to try nursing.  She enrols in a three year course, still
living at home when not at school.  She is now allowed to wear clothes at
home much of the time, though Liz had noticed that Cathy is much more prone
to her arousals towards the end of her period cycle, so for about one week
in four Cathy is still required to go naked all the time when home.  With
her retiring lifestyle she has become quite studious, and does well in her
course.  By now her spontaneous arousals rarely happen at other times in
the month, though when they _do_ occur their persistence has become strong
enough that the half-hourly spanking seems to have little effect.  Liz
finds that making Cathy don the prickly clit-cozy any time her clit erects
still achieves results, so this becomes routine directly after the initial
spanking.

   From her studies, Cathy has learnt about male and female sexuality and
orgasm, yet was confronted with the obvious difference between her own
genital development and other females.  In addition she had the conflict
between the medical knowledge, and the teachings of the church from her
Sunday school classes, and also her mother.  She had realised that she was
rather different, and prone to carnal urges apparently much greater than
most women, perhaps in proportion to the size difference of her clitoris.
She also accepted the church teachings that masturbation was sinful, and
that intercourse and orgasm (whatever that was) were reserved for marriage.
So she accepted in an abstract kind of way that her admittedly odd home
life was probably necessary and for her benefit, and that she should be
grateful to her mother for all her efforts.

   She's always been very self-conscious about her abnormality, and has
never discussed it with any of her friends and doesn't want to.  For one
thing that would lead into other topics, like her frequent spontaneous
arousals, the home nudity, her punishments for arousal, and most of all,
her bedtime routine.  Which....  she tries to avoid thinking about at all,
because invariably when she thinks about it, her clit will spring into
aching hardness, and stay that way until she can get her hair-shirt
clit-cozy onto it.  She pushes the thoughts out of her head now.  Every
evening she has ample opportunity to consider the matter, when lying tied
spread eagled on her back, the prickly cozy tight on her aching organ,
waiting with every part of her body still throbbing and tingling with the
effects her mother's massaging fingers built into a bonfire that drives her
mind into whirling fragments.  It is such an agonising torment, and yet...
yet she knows she desires it, and this desire is sinful and deserving of
punishment.  Any punishment, but especially *this* punishment!  Her
mother's efforts take Cathy's own sinful urges and turn them around into a
blinding intensity of wanting that is worse even than the severest of
spankings.  She knows she deserves this!  She deserves it a lot!  She's a
nasty, libidinous girl, and her mother should punish her severely.

   So each night she thrusts and twists her body like a wanton madwoman,
both ashamed of her desires and simultaneously flaunting them at her
mother, knowing it inflames her mother and goads her to continue, to
'torment' her more, to stroke harder and deeper into her daughter's
rebelliously demanding sex, to fan the excruciating excitement until it
feels like her brain is going to explode.  Until her sex feels like it
might burst, or implode or something.  Until...  until...  she finds it
hard to imagine anything more intense.  Perhaps that 'orgasm' thing may be,
but from the descriptions in her sex education class it sounds rather scary
and dangerously addictive.  Besides, the deeper purpose of all this effort
her mother is giving her is to fortify her will, to help her resist the
demands of her over-sexed body leading her to do things that are sinful
before marriage.

   It fascinates and draws her, this mix of torment and desire.  The
desolation and hurting ache when her mother finally 'hmmphs!' and ends her
so-thorough application of the cream, quickly slips on and ties the
clit-cozy, then leaves the room with a disapproving glance back at Cathy
arching with carnal abandon on the bed.  To lie there squirming futilely,
knowing it will take some time for the throbbing ache in her sex to
subside, for the irritating scratchy grip on her pulsing clit to overcome
the urges, and cause her sex to shrink down like the embers of a fire
glowing to ash.  Till her pulse slows and need ceases hammering at her mind
and she can sleep.

   Cathy knows she would get the worst spanking of her life if she ever
spoke her desires, if she begged her mother to continue, to torment her
more, to rub her clitoris *again* like that, to please not stop rubbing her
nipples just yet, because she wants to be punished *harder*...  So she
never has spoken such words, only moans of anguished sexuality.  The
understanding between her and her mother is that this treatment is a
combination of necessary hygene, a sensual punishment for her frequent
carnal behaviour, and a training to strengthen her will.  Cathy is not
supposed to *desire* it.  But she knows...  and probably her mother knows,
that really she does desire it.  She glories in it.  Her sexual arousal may
be torment, yet through that torment she receives the holy gift of choice
and affirmation of her faith.  She may choose to remain pure, and chaste,
by refraining from any attempt to masturbate herself to relief.  Or she may
choose to show weakness, to commit the sin of masturbation, to submit to
the demands of her flesh and repudiate the Lord's will.

   She has come to feel that she is especially blessed by her unique
development, which must be by God's design.  Due to which she has been
gifted with an exceptional intensity of temptation, all the better to
demonstrate her love of God's word.  The greater the searing strength of
the desire between her legs, the more strongly she feels touched by God's
love, such unique attention.  There are times when she finds it... 
glorious - to know that God had singled her out for such powerful intensity
of sensation, such a challenge to virtuousness, and to know that she is
equal to the trial.  That no matter how powerfully her body fills her mind
with carnal wishes, she will never, ever touch herself there contrary to
her Lord's wish.  Even though her body often cries demands for such touches
with all the persuassion, guile and persistence of the Devil himself, she
is secure in her adherence to God's command of purity, and the aid of
Jesus' love in resisting temptation.

   Now and then, when the power within her body has been fanned to extremes
by her mother's ministrations, and her mind feels as if it will explode or
lose consciousness from the intensity, she has experienced a kind of
breakthrough into a realm of calm euphoric detachment.  She is aware still
of her body's anguished, desperate desire for an unknown completion, yet
feels herself filled with a serene sense of universal love.  Her mind
detaches from her tormented, struggling body, and is drawn into the aura of
Divine peace.

   So on the whole she is satisfied with her lot.  This torment of pleasure
and frustration and struggle with sin is *hers*, her life, and she is not
only content with the flame that burns in her body, but derives from it a
sense of exhaltation and personal communion with God.