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pedophile fucks himself
It was a bad situation, let me tell you. I had just seen the movie
Damage. I was watching the ending credits. I had to go to the bathroom
but I wanted to find out who the cute little girl was in the movie.
You know how it is when you really have to pee. If you donÕt respond,
the pee has a way of making its urgency clearer. It calls up your butthole
and tells it to start putting out shit.
There I was, sitting hunched over in my chair, watching and feeling
the call being made. You know, from my pee hole to my butt hole. The next
thing I knew an agonizing feeling, which was already present in my
bladder, communicated itself to my ass. Gas started to accumulate in my
colon. Then it started to escape. The shit was coming fast behind. But I
was determined to find out who the cute little girl in Damage was.
WouldnÕt you know, she isnÕt listed anywhere in the ending credits. I
found this out sometime after I pooped in my pants.
Which brings me to the subject of fucking myself. I should have run
to the toilet as soon as the movie ended. Better yet, since I was taping
the damn thing, I should have just gotten up earlier, or at least when the
ending credits started to roll. But no, I decided to sit there, with my ass
jammed full of shit. And so I fucked myself, in a manner of speaking. If
you donÕt believe me, try skipping your next trip to the bathroom. See if
you donÕt fuck yourself too.
But enough of my ass. The reason IÕm writing this column is because
of little girls! Since Damage does not list its cast members in the closing
credits, I canÕt tell you the name of the Damage girl. However I did study
the opening credits, and use my near 30 years of experience as a pedophile
viewer to attempt to discern her name. The character is called ÒSallyÓ.
The actress herself may be Gemma Clarke. Or it may not be. Watch the
movie and see for yourself how screwed up this movieÕs credits are.
But as for the girl herself... ahhhh! The director of this movie is
Louis Malle. If youÕre a pedophile, you will instantly recognize this name.
He is the only man to ever direct a pro-pedophile film in the entire history
of film. (With the possible exception of the original version of Lolita
which, believe it or not, I havenÕt seen.) Louis Malle directed the 1978
movie Pretty Baby, starring Brooke Shields as a 12-year-old prostitute.
The first time you see Sally in Damage you are struck by her hat.
ÒHere is my awful little sister,Ó her older brother says, introducing
Juliette Binoche to her as she comes down the steps of their home. Sally
is wearing a big red hat that hides her face She is both wonderfully
childish and mysterious as she stalks from the stairs into the kitchen.
Then, in the yard, a scene or two later, you catch a glimpse of her face.
You see her lips. They are full pink lovely lips and you get the impression
that her face must be lovely too. But you still canÕt see it, thanks to the
silly hat SallyÕs wearing!
Sally, who is an 11-year-old blonde, floats through the rest of this
film (sans hat), appearing in various scenes. You see her in a nightshirt
with bare legs, and in a dress with slinky black stockings. At times I
found it difficult to concentrate on this filmÕs plot, because I was so
obsessed with Sally. And the film isnÕt about her! Which made the whole
thing even more distracting, since as the movie concentrated on the
husband, his affair with a young woman, his wife, his son, etc., I was
continually gazing about the screen trying to find Sally.
Sally is not Brooke Shields. But she is cute, blonde, and 11. What
more does a pedophile need? You can tell Louis Malle is enjoying teasing a
viewer like me, because although Sally is just wallpaper in this movie she
is so wonderfully photographed and positioned that Mr. Malle must be
keeping one eye on the pedophile audience, if only to make them fuck
themselves.
Even though Damage is not by any means Pretty Baby, I highly
recommend this film. ItÕs thanks to Sally, and to Louis MalleÕs direction
and use of her, despite her wallpaper role, that I recommend this movie.
And the movie even fulfills its premise of sexual obsession, by not telling
me what SallyÕs real name is!
ÒThe only problem is, the little English girls couldnÕt find him
either.Ó
- Lucy in Hideous Kinky
Ah yes, the little English girls! In the movie Hideous Kinky Kate
Winslet plays a big-bottomed 25-year-old mother in search of spirituality
in Morocco. The only problem is that sheÕs come without any money and
with her two little daughters. (Or, at least, if she did bring any money
with her, it ran out by the time I turned on this movie, a few minutes
late.)
The oldest of KateÕs two little girls is 6-years-old. Her name is Bea
and she is played by Bella Riza. Bella isnÕt a particularly attractive girl,
but she is a fine actress.
The younger of KateÕs two little girls is 5-years-old. Her name is
Lucy and sheÕs played by Carrie Mullan. Carrie is quite attractive and has
big, luminous blue eyes. There are many cute shots of Carrie and her
sister in their white panties, including one of Carrie asleep in her panties,
sucking her thumb.
At one point in Hideous Kinky Bella is absent from the film. (I wonÕt
give the plot away as to why.) Hideous Kinky drags a bit, in terms of the
little girls, when Bella isnÕt there. But when Bella and Carrie are both
present, and together on the screen, the combination of the two of them is
incredible. They are really fun to watch! They run around, tell each other
stories, and playfully attack Bilal (KateÕs boyfriend) in the film. Bella
even says, ÒAnd you donÕt need to worry about Bilal anymore, because IÕm
his favorite now.Ó (The implication being that Bilal and 6-year-old Bella
have fallen in love.)
As with many Sundance Channel films, Hideous Kinky is filled with
wondrous photography and great acting, without a Òby the numbersÓ plot. I
bumped into Hideous Kinky after trying to watch the film Act of War.
(Which, if IÕm not mistaken, is a non-Ian Fleming James Bond film.) Bad
sets, bad directing, and a bad story were replaced, by switching to Hideous
Kinky, with wonderful outdoor photography, great directing, and an
essentially plotless but nonetheless wonderful storyline. Hideous Kinky is
even jammed full of great 1960Õs music! Every three minutes or so the
1960Õs themes of wandering and free love begin to drift through this film,
thanks to the music. (Admittedly there isnÕt much actual free love, but
perhaps they will do a Lolita-like sequel, now that Bella and Carrie are a
few years older!)
I hope you do not feel cheated that I have mentioned only three little
girls in this column. Allow me to detail a quick history of little girls on
T.V. for you, as seen by me.
Back in the mid-1970Õs I remember watching my first little girl on
T.V. She was blonde, perhaps 8-years-old. Unfortunately I donÕt remember
the name of the show. However there was a 20-something woman on the
show that had such big, luminous blue eyes that they were not so much
beautiful as strange. Psychedelic, even. She and a guy and the little girl
banged around America in a van, trying to find themselves. If you have
seen the woman with the really strange psychedelic eyes, you will perhaps
remember the little girl too.
The next little girl I saw on T.V. was also a blonde, and let me tell
you, she was quite a find! She was 10, and I saw her on a T.V. movie called
The Prince of Central Park. The movie was barely about her. Like Sally in
damage, she came wafting along, sometime during the film, little more
than wallpaper in the eyes of the director. The Prince of Central Park, a
boy, fell in love with her, but she remained a distant, unfulfilled object of
his desire. At the end of the movie I watched for her name. There were no
VCRÕs at that time so there was no possibility of taping the show and
checking for her name later. I had to be right, and I had to be right the
first time. I saw the character name and then her name: Brooke Shields. I
was puzzled and confused. ÒBrooke? ThatÕs the name of a stream!Ó I said.
This was before Pretty Baby, so nobody had ever heard of Brooke at that
time, not even me, a pedophile!
Well to make a long story short I soon found out more about Brooke,
because she was soon naked in Penthouse and naked on the big screen, in
Pretty Baby. What is interesting is that after Pretty Baby made so much
money (thanks to viewers like me!) an earlier film featuring Brooke was
released to theatres. In this earlier film, which I donÕt know the name of,
Brooke Shields is the cutest fucking 8-year-old little girl you will EVER
see! I am not kidding about this. She wears a yellow rain slicker in this
movie, and I was drooling throughout the entire film. I canÕt remember
what the plot of the film was (if it even had one) but there was a big, fat
sloppy guy who lived in the same apartment building as Brooke. She was,
as best as I can recollect, afraid of him, but this was before the hatred of
pedophiles so he wasnÕt actually presented as a pedophile or anything, he
was just a big, fat, scary guy. Nothing ever actually happens to Brooke in
the movie. But she is wonderful to watch, making it the best movie IÕve
ever seen, thanks to her incredible mouthwatering beauty.
The next little girl I remember seeing was on a 1970Õs T.V. series.
The girlÕs name was Olivia Barash. She played a 12-year-old who shows
up at her fatherÕs apartment. Since itÕs the late 1970Õs, he is a swinginÕ
guy. He has no idea heÕs a father, and I donÕt remember the show ever
mentioning the mother at all. So when she shows up and tells him heÕs her
dad, he and Olivia live together. His main goal in life is to continue his
swinginÕ lifestyle, despite the presence of his daughter. Her main goal is
to let him know that just because sheÕs 12 doesnÕt mean sheÕs a little girl.
I still remember Olivia Barash stalking around their apartment in long
black boots. Yes! The kind you might see on a Penthouse Pet! Hey man, it
was a great show, and the pedophile implications were perfectly clear, at
least to me. It was rather like the Ellen Degeneva (Degenerate?) lesbian
show, where Middle America was introduced, gradually, to the idea of
watching a T.V. show about lesbians. Unfortunately the 1970Õs were
coming to a close, and the pedophile relationship in the Olivia Barash show
never got a chance to develop. But when a true, unbiased history of T.V. is
written someday, let me say for the record that, in my opinion, the Olivia
Barash show was the very first American pedophile T.V. series.
In the 1980Õs, of course, the airwaves were full of increasing
amounts of anti-pedophile hatred. Even if there were cute little girls on
some of those shows, I wasnÕt about to wade through all the anti-pedo
hate in order to find them. What I remember best about those years are a
handful of little girls in T.V. ads. One ad was for a Trane water heater. It
showed various members of a family in the shower. Unfortunately the hot
water heater has broken, and so their showers (taken separately) turn out
to be cold. I remember a very cute little brunette, about 9-years-old,
cuddling herself in an icy shower! Another ad I remember was (I think) for
KinkoÕs Copies. It featured a stupendously gorgeous 9-year-old blonde
girl, with big blue eyes.
The mission of the feminists was to find men and label them as
pedophiles. At first the pedophile was described as some mysterious man,
or group of men. Then later they were assumed to be mental retards.
Then, as the feminist body count went on, actors and priests and men of
higher societal rank were included. At some point I realized the
feministsÕ game: they would not stop until they found the highest-ranking
man possible in our society and labelled him a child molester. Of course,
none of us knew how high they would get up the social ladder: to Bill
Clinton, the President of the United States, who, if not an actual child
molester, was sexually involved with a girl so close to the age of 18 that
it was almost pointless to argue, especially since she was, in the eyes of
the yuppie feminists, young enough to be one of their own children. Bill,
of course, was the same age as the yuppies, and a father of a girl who was
almost the age of Monica Lewinsky.
Hopefully there will be more cute little girls on T.V. in the years
ahead, and I can report on them here. As for the two new films mentioned
above, itÕs hard to say which is better: the mysterious, beguiling Sally of
Damage, or the two bumptious little girls in Hideous Kinky. Which would
you prefer?
---------------------- Dream T.V. Girls! ------------------------
If you see a cute girl in the age range of 4 to 13 feel free to send me
an e-mail. Then she will, hopefully, be included in my next movie and T.V.
column. These are the girls nobody ever writes about, unless they are the
star of the film, which is rare. Hopefully with this column the wonderful
girls whom everyone has ignored for so long will finally receive their due.
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