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                              thanks for ripping open my magazines.


         Practically every porno magazine I get in the mail has been ripped 
open.  Either it was ripped open by the postman to read it, or to inspect it.
         The postal service insists on having a monopoly on mail service, and 
then they rip open all the porno magazines.  What a rotten deal.
         Do you guys think I am getting magazines with 8-year-old girls in 
them?  It has been said that a picture is worth a thousand words.  
However, as you can see, I can write many thousands of words.  If my 
magazines do not stop arriving in a ripped open condition, I am going to 
LOWER the ages of the girls in my stories.
         I consider my magazines very valuable.  I handle them with extreme 
care.  I keep the best ones in Ziploc plastic bags, to give them complete 
protection.  I stand them up on a bookshelf so they wonÕt be wrinkled or 
dented or (worse) have something spilled on them.  I put hard back books 
at regular intervals between my magazines, so that the magazines do not 
bend or stand at an angle.  I make sure the temperature in my apartment 
stays at a regular level, so my magazines are not affected by excessive 
heat or cold.
         DO NOT rip open my magazines.  Everyone knows there are no 
magazines featuring 8-year-old girls floating around.  Find yourself a real 
job, flipping hamburgers, instead of tearing open endless quantities of 
magazines.
         I have written thousands of words and I can write thousands more.  
Those magazines coming through the mail are my property, already paid-
for in advance by me.  Quit damaging it!

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Copyright 2001 by Andrew Roller.