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Andrew Roller Presents
FUCK DECENCY
Issue No. 306
Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in
Nudie Nursery
Chapter One
ÒDo it,Ó Kate told Ray. ÒReach back and open your ass for her or
youÕll get this candle flame right under your cockhead.Ó
ÒYou girls are perverted!Ó Ray groused. He reached back, though, and
spread his hairy buns for me. I spied his little hole and stuck my cold
popsicle against it.
ÒCome on, Ray, your hiney-hole likes popsicles too!Ó I laughed.
Kate, meanwhile, hovered her candle over RayÕs prick. As he held
himself open for my impish game, he watched as KateÕs candle began to
warm at the tip where the flame flickered atop it.
ÒI hope none of my lifeguard buddies discover me down here,Ó Ray
breathed.
ÒYou can tell them we blew your nose and then we blew your mind,Ó
Kate smiled. She still showed him the same glossy, good-girl smile she
had since weÕd met, but now she was about to singe his dick with hot wax!
ÒAre all the girls who are as beautiful as you two this dangerous?Ó
Ray asked. His voice was haggard. I think he was truly worried that we
were going to injure him! Imagine, a guy as big as him, a 20-something
Schwarzenegger, and he was afraid of us two little girls!
ÒWhat, havenÕt you screwed tons of girls like us?Ó Kate asked.
ÒI just got the lifeguard job,Ó Ray admitted.
ÒWell, sir, youÕll just have to find out by meeting other beautiful
girls after weÕre finished with you,Ó Kate smiled. ÒIf, that is, youÕve
anything left to show them.Ó She tilted the candle slightly and a dollop of
hot wax splashed down onto RayÕs cock.
ÒYeeeeooow!Ó Ray shouted. At the same moment I managed to
intrude some of my popsicle into his rectum. Perhaps the amazement of
being burned by hot wax had caused Ray to accept me, fearfully, like when
someone is hanged and they go in their pants. I felt his anus open and lost
some of my popsicle inside him. I kissed his hiney.
ÒLet mommie take your temperature,Ó I urged. He was ignoring me,
though, for Kate, having burned his dick with hot wax, now played firegirl
and sprayed a clump of chilled whipped cream on his dick.
ÒThere, that should help,Ó she said soothingly. ÒPoor Ray, you have
such a big fine penis that we girls just canÕt help playing tricks on it!Ó
His cock was truly wonderful, no match for the popsicle I was pretending
with. It quivered and throbbed and pre-cum oozed from its tip. No sooner
had Kate eased his suffering with the Redi-Whip than she gave him a new
dose of wax. It splashed down and he groaned again, not really hurt by it
but certainly taunted. Then, to make him better but actually to make him
suffer even more, Kate sprayed more icy whipped cream on his dick. ÒFire
and Ice,Ó she smiled at him. ÒBut youÕre man enough to take it, arenÕt you,
honey?Ó
ÒNot with a fucking ice-cold thermometer rammed up my butt!Ó Ray
shouted. But Kate and I just tittered with laughter and kept on with our
game.
Kate knelt down in front of Ray and gave him the benefit of her
mouth. Sucking with her cool swirling lips on his cockhead, she stopped
whenever the candle was about to drip more wax, let it fall, squirted some
cream on him, and then resumed her sucking.
ÒControl, Ray honey, control,Ó Kate said to our dear captive stallion
as she loosed her lips from him to burn and freeze him again. ÒYou donÕt
plan to cum, do you?Ó
ÒN-No,Ó Ray said through gritted teeth. He watched as Kate drizzled
hot wax on his dick. Then, solicitously, she squirted him with whipped
cream, but since the cream went in one place on his dick and the wax on
another, it did nothing to alleviate the burning while the burning was not
cooled at all by the cream.
I was getting bored with my thermometer. All the popsicle had
melted away and I had taken RayÕs temperature, again and again, reaming
him with the stick. It sounds silly, but even sticking a thermometer up a
beautiful manÕs butt can get boring after awhile, when youÕre 15-years-
old!
ÒCan I spank Ray again?Ó I asked Kate.
ÒSure,Ó she replied, freeing her mouth from his dick to answer me.
ÒBut donÕt use the paddle. HeÕs stuck inside that little hole and has
noplace to go, with the boards clamping down on him. Use a thin whip
instead. It will snake nicely across his ass but not ram him forward.Ó
I obeyed her advice. But first I poured myself a big glass of Cherry
Kool-Aid to slake my ever-thirstier mouth. I offered some to Kate. She
must have been thirsty too, for she accepted, sipping right from my own
glass. I didnÕt mind. We were good friends now. We both had Cherry
mustaches when we were finished.
ÒRay, would you like some too?Ó I asked. He said he would. I stood
on tiptoe and let him drink from my glass as Kate continued to punish his
penis. He had a cherry mustache too when heÕd drunk his fill.
ÒDonÕt pee it out on me,Ó Kate warned him.
ÒRats,Ó he answered.
ÒIÕll let you pee when IÕm finished with you,Ó she said.
I picked out the thinnest whip I could find from the selection hung on
the wall. Kate said thin hurt more, but was less able to shove Ray forward
when he was struck. In fact, it didnÕt shove at all. It just burned across
his hiney, leaving a bright streak on his white buns. Of course, he was
free to buck his ass as best he could and grind it all around to throw off
the pain.
I laid the whip across Ray and enjoyed his response. At first he
tried with manful fortitude to endure my strokes and show no pain. But as
I continued, flaying him ever more thoroughly, he began to let his emotions
show. After a bit each of my strikes caused him to shout and rub his ass
and flex it.
ÒKeep your hands up off your ass,Ó Kate told Ray. ÒDonÕt be a bad boy
and make us handcuff you.Ó
ÒGod, I wish someone would bust us and send me to prison!Ó Ray
howled.
ÒYouÕd like it there, wouldnÕt you, Ray?Ó Kate smiled. ÒJust you and
the guys. No naughty little girls to torment you. I studied pre-law, you
know, in case I decided to be a policewoman. Do you think I should try to
become one?Ó
ÒYouÕd cause a crime wave,Ó Ray groaned. ÒOf men wanting you to
arrest them.Ó
ÒEven if I did this to them?Ó Kate asked. She dripped more hot wax
on his cock.
Ray groaned. I sailed another lash into his ass and he winced and
shook his butt.
ÒYeah, even if you did this,Ó Ray admitted.
ÒWell, we have to get tougher then!Ó Kate said to me. ÒGo find
something to squeeze Mr. RayÕs balls in, Kelly. WeÕll see if the nutcracker
will make him behave!Ó
ÒNo,Ó Ray gritted. I gave his tushy a final slash, admired the mark,
and then happily returned my whip to the wall. Rummaging around, I found
a small leather pouch that could be tied along the top as tightly as one
might wish. It looked like a bag for gold dust, but it would hold the Ray
Family Jewels instead!
Kate made Ray stand with a wider stance and I crouched down
underneath him and set to work. It was tough fitting his balls inside that
little pouch! He had very big balls. Finally, getting him all suited up, I
tied the top of the pouch as tight as I could. Ray groaned and howled. Kate
came round and checked my handiwork to make sure I hadnÕt tied him too
tightly. She loosened him just a bit.
ÒVery good, Kelly,Ó Kate said to me. ÒNow weÕll see if Mr. Ray here
can learn to be a good boy.Ó She told me to get a penis whip.
MAGAZINE REVIEWS
by holy joe
Playboy, December 1997, $5.95. http://www.playboy.com
Review: Today I am going to discuss an important subject. That
subject is masturbation. Now, you may ask, ÒWhat is a masturbator?Ó I
will tell you.
A masturbator is someone who pulls apart his favorite porno
magazine so he can jerk off to it. Then, when he wants to tell his friends
how great the issue is, he canÕt. ThatÕs because his magazine is already
yanked apart into many different pieces. (Yanking a magazine apart is an
art in itself, so donÕt go tearing apart your favorite porno magazine unless
you are highly trained in how to do it properly. Otherwise, you will wreck
it.)
Now, in my case, I am not a masturbator. However, wishing to
discuss the subject of masturbation, I decided to yank apart the latest
issue of Playboy, to see what it would be like to be a masturbator.
Well, let me tell you. ItÕs tough being a masturbator. IÕve got a
totally yanked apart Playboy sitting here, and now IÕm trying to review it.
What a job! The centerfold is on my wall. Pages from the magazine are
sheathed in plastic, and stored in a notebook on a bookshelf. Other pages
from the magazine are sealed in a Jumbo size freezer bag, and stored in a
cardboard box. And, finally, the front half of the magazine (which didnÕt
have any cool pictures in it), is sheathed in (yet another) jumbo bag, and
sitting here next to my computer.
I will do my best to review this issue. But, please, donÕt expect any
page numbers. YouÕll have to content yourself with approximate locations
of all the great stuff in this issue.
But first, before detailing all the goodies in this issue, I must say
that I am quite pissed off. You see, I was handling my new Playboy fairly
gently, when suddenly one of the centerfold pages wrinkled! Just like
that! So now the centerfold girl has a wrinkle on her bottom, in two
different photos! (On one side of the page and the other side of the page.)
I am amazed at how thin the paper in Playboy has become. Good
grief! A magazine, carefully handled, should not just spontaneously
wrinkle. Also, IÕm sick and tired of perfect binding. Did you know that in
a perfect bound magazine, with thin paper, the pages wrinkle when you
open the magazine and try to lay it flat? ThatÕs an outrage!
LetÕs take a look at this Playboy. What is in it? ÒKurt VonnegutÕs
Last Novel.Ó Kurt Vonnegut is an ugly old man. HeÕs also rather loony. I do
not buy Playboy to hear from, or look at, ugly old men. I can go to any
locker room in America and talk all day to ugly old men. I can even smell
them sitting on the toilet! On the other hand, do you think I can walk into
a girlsÕ bathroom and hang out with beautiful young females? Nope. So
thatÕs why I buy Playboy. To see, and hear about, girls. NOT to look at, or
hear from, ugly old men.
Next: ÒAlternative Medicine Guru Andrew Weil on Men and Health.Ó
Here we go again. Do you think I give a FUCK about men and health? Let
me inform Hugh Hefner about something. LetÕs say I take an interest in
men and health. What do I do? Why, I visit a gay bar. There I can find out
all about men and their health. I can spend all night talking to guys, and
asking about their penises, and their buttholes. I can even get them to buy
me drinks and to check out the health of my butthole. (Before and after
they ram their dick up it.)
Now, letÕs say I want to check out some girls, and ask about their
health. So, you know, I go over to the local high school, and say, ÒHi,
cheerleaders, how is your health? Mind if I watch you shower? Need a
breast exam? Need any help learning how to give a blow job?Ó
Guess what? Although I could easily spend the rest of my life
getting blown in gay bars, chatting up cheerleaders is not something IÕm
adept at. (If it was, do you think IÕd be writing this review of Playboy?)
So letÕs not waste any more money at Playboy on articles with bald guys
like Andrew Weil on the subject of men and health. HereÕs a tip: if the
article isnÕt with a girl, and about girls, can it. (And, by the way, not just
any girl will do. It has to be a cute girl.)
Next: Ò20 Questions with Chris Rock.Ó Yep. Another man. Fuck this
Chris Rock dude. Do you think I went running down to Tower Books this
month thinking, ÒOh, boy. I hope they interview Chris Rock. IÕm really
looking forward to jacking off to him!Ó Of course not! He could die
tomorrow in a horrible car accident, and I wouldnÕt give a damn.
Next: ÒCollege Basketball PreviewÓ. Has Playboy ever heard of a
magazine called ÒSports IllustratedÓ? Yep. If IÕm interested in basketball
(IÕm not), IÕll go buy ÒSports IllustratedÓ. I donÕt need to read about it in
Playboy.
So, adding up the above, let me ask a question. If all of the CRAP
listed above had been deleted from the December 1997 issue of Playboy,
do you think they could have afforded to print on thicker paper? Do you
think, heaven forbid, they could even have used staples to bind the
magazine, instead of this crappy ÔperfectÕ binding? IÕll bet they could
have.
NOW, letÕs see whatÕs actually good in this magazine.
1. The cover is cute. Unfortunately, the pictorial of the girl on the
cover is lousy.
2. The centerfold is outstanding. I really liked the centerfold and
the accompanying pictorial. However, I have noticed a problem in the
recent issues of Playboy. Pages 5 and 6 of the centerfold pictorial are
always, in my opinion, a waste. Take a look at pages 5 and 6 of the
centerfold pictorial. See? ItÕs just a really big picture. That picture
could easily have been put on page 5, and another, different picture put on
page 6. Hopefully Playboy will use pages 5 and 6 more creatively in the
future.
3. One of the all time greatest photos of Jenny McCarthy is printed
in the ÒSex Stars of 1997Ó section.
4. A reprise of Candy Loving, from 20 years ago, is printed.
Excellent photos.
5. Near the back of the magazine, there is a black and white photo of
Demi Moore looking at a topless woman. Is she hoping to have lesbian sex
with her? A very great photo.
6. On the last page of the magazine, an ad for next issueÕs
ÒPlaymate ReviewÓ shows a blonde with a bare bottom. An outstanding
photo!
7. ÒA Short History of the Bra,Ó though mostly boring, shows a
(small) photo of a girl wearing a corset that really distorts her breasts. I
really liked that photo.
8. There is a ÒKing of the HillÓ comic featuring Hugh Hefner. I didnÕt
actually read the comic, but it was nice and colorful. Which brings up an
interesting point. It would seem to me that ÒThe Adventures of Hugh
HefnerÓ could be a comic that is in every issue of Playboy.
Have you ever read ÒUncle ScroogeÓ comics? They are pretty cool.
So, why not Hugh Hefner having adventures, rather like the (Carl Barks
version of) Uncle Scrooge? In these comics, of course, Hugh Hefner would
be about 45-years-of age. And he would need a cast of female sidekicks.
Perhaps Barbi Benton, and Jenny McCarthy, plus a few other girls. Every
month Hugh and the girls could go off on some colorful, exotic adventure.
For instance, hereÕs an idea. ItÕs possible that Iran is building
nuclear missiles. American intelligence canÕt decide whether Iran is or
isnÕt. Now, it so happens that a missile is shaped like a penis. So
someone in the CIA hits on the idea: why not secretly send some Playboy
Playmates over to Iran? If anyone can find a bunch of large, penis-shaped
objects, no doubt the Playboy Playmates can! So Hugh Hefner and the
Playmates set off for Iran, to see if Iran is building nuclear missiles.
(Note that this comic doesnÕt include ÒKing of the Hill.Ó I donÕt need to
read about fat guys who drink beer. I am a fat guy who--)
Ahem! Anyway, thatÕs my two cents worth. Hopefully you wonÕt
complain about the lack of page numbers in this review. Like I said, I
wanted to understand the masturbator personality, and so I was forced to
yank apart this particular issue of Playboy.
Oh, yes. I almost forgot. This issue of Playboy bills itself as the
ÒGala Christmas IssueÓ. Now, when I see that, I remember an issue of
Playboy back in the 1970Õs. It featured a big nude party, with all the
Playmates doing lots of naughty things. In my opinion, every ÒGala
Christmas IssueÓ of Playboy should feature a big, nude Playmate party.
Recently I went around town and asked all the beautiful girls I saw,
ÒDo you want to party naked in my dumpster this Christmas?Ó Amazingly,
they all said Ôno.Õ One of them even punched me. In my balls. So I expect
Playboy to feature girls partying in the nude, since I myself canÕt seem to
get girls to party naked with me, in person.
This issue of Playboy is much better than many of the previous
issues, but it still leaves much to be desired. The formula for
improvement is simple, however: Print on quality paper. Cut any articles
that arenÕt about girls. Show lots of photos of girls doing wild, naughty,
mischievous things. I should feel like my life is being invaded by lovely,
wonderful females when I open up Playboy. Sure, I may just be some fat,
balding, ugly, loony, beer swilling (non) masturbator, whoÕs shitting on my
toilet, but for a few minutes IÕd like be transported to a better place.
WITHOUT having to worry about wrinkling the centerfold!
AND IN THE END...
A Female Stumbles into the Truth
ÒThe whole idea of a man whoÕll take care of you -- it makes you
feel feminine,Ó says Katie Roiphe.
- Newsweek, November 3, 1997, pg. 77.
-------------------------- Fuck Decency! ------------------------
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http://www.dejanews.com/
into your browserÕs ÒLocationÓ window. Press your ÒreturnÓ key.
Under ÒQuick SearchÓ, type in: roller39@idt.net
Press your ÒreturnÓ key.
-Other providers:
Usenet Newsgroup: alt.sex.stories.moderated
or by e-mail: file.request@backdrop.com
or via the Web: http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/
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Corrigan, P.O. Box 3663, Phenix City, AL 36868
- JOIN the worldÕs greatest organization! Send $35.00 to The North
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NAMBLA, P.O. Box 174, Midtown Station, New York, NY 10018.
-Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427) is
copyright 1997 and a trademark of Andrew Roller.
-END OF 306 EMISSION
- free beer for any girls who want to party naked with me at Christmas!
IÕll take care of everything! Call 1-900-DO IT NOW, 1-800-WE PARTY,
or (if you want lots of beer) 1-800-UP MY ASS!