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Summer Vacation Advice from
O U R T R U S T W O R T H Y A L L I E S
ÒA delightful way of spending an afternoon in Oxford or
Cambridge is gliding down the river in a flat-bottomed boat called a
Yerinal. This practice is known as ÔcottagingÕ. Some places rent such
craft by the hour, so if youÕd like a go simply tell a policeman youÕd like
to know where the public Yerinals are because youÕd like to do some
cottaging. He may even offer to accompany you to the (boat) station.
Ò[ Dining in Great Britain is as convenient as in America, perhaps
more so! ] When the bill comes it will show a suggested amount. Pay
what you think is fair, unless you plan to dine there again in which case
you should tell the waiter ÔI am doing a runner,Õ and simply walk out.
He will understand that he should ÔrunÕ a tab for you from now on.Ó
- Mayfair, Volume 32, Number 6, (back page).
Andrew Roller Presents
FUCK DECENCY
Sponsored by: JOE CAMEL
Issue No. 289
Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in
Pussy Playland
Chapter Two
TabithaÕs lips lapped at my cunt. I bucked up at her. She shoved her
twat down on my mouth and begged me from some muffled, far away place
to lick her like crazy. I smelled her womanly scent. I knew she could
smell me. There was a sprinkling of her on my tongue. At the same time I
felt myself offer up a potion of my own. We nuzzled, we licked, we ate.
Within minutes the two of us were thrashing on the sheet as we fed
within each otherÕs pussies like starving Somalis. Above us the men
stood, waiting, watching. I knew they must be enthralled by our
performance because Frank seemed to grow even bigger before my eyes.
His poor condom actually rose back up his shaft, partway, as his thing
within grew to greater proportions. I reached up and fingered TabithaÕs a-
hole. Frank bent low and put the nozzle of the bottle of lubricant to her
hiney. He squirted. I helpfully rubbed the squirtings around. I know Tabby
could feel me because she vengefully dug even deeper into me with her
tongue. I screamed. I gasped and screamed again. In retaliation I begged
from her muff for more lubricant. Frank complied, happily, squirting her
a-hole some more. With my fingertips I pushed the lubricant inside her
hole. Tabitha bucked atop my face. I knew she wanted it now. Frank did
too. As he presented himself to her I licked ever more feverishly to keep
her swooning. She spread her thighs even more widely upon my face and I
helpfully pulled back her butt cheeks to make her as open as possible. I
watched with big eyes as Frank introduced first his pee hole to her, then
his indriving cockhead, and finally, as she screeched at his size, the shaft
of his penis, shoving the flange of his head past her sphincter as if he
were an executioner. Impaled on him, Tabitha lost her will to fuck my
pussy and rubbed her cheek on it instead. My muff became a pillow to her.
A place of refuge and consolation. She breathed hard on my clit as Frank
drove himself more deeply into her. She bit at the fleecy curls of my muff
and grazed on them like a sheep.
Frank was massive and remorseless. He did not think of anything but
himself. Drawing out only a little to give her relief, he burrowed anew
into TabithaÕs hole. She bleated sheeplike, as he found yet unopened
depths within her. In and out he moved, each time going deeper, never
pulling himself all the way out. Tabitha bounced on my mouth and licked
consolingly at my pussy. She wanted him, she loved his largeness, the
challenge of it, yet the actual taking of him was proving quite difficult. I
kept my tongue working quickly over her clit to give her as much relief as
possible. She spent again and again on my cheeks.
Meanwhile, the two males whoÕd followed me to the sheet were
finding themselves too excited to wait any longer. I felt their big palms
settle onto my thighs. They drew me apart, as if I were just a doll or a
piece of furniture that could be moved at will. I felt a blunt object butt
rudely against my cunny. TabbyÕs face seemed to be moved aside, held,
restrained. I tried to close my legs but it was too late. Not even knowing
the name of the man who wanted me, not even really seeing his face in the
darkness, I suddenly felt his manhood come spearing into me.
ÒAaaaack!Ó I shouted. Too late! He forced himself in deeper and I
felt as if he might split me in two. IÕd not seen his full size. Perhaps he
was as big as Frank! My eyes lost their vision a moment as the man at my
cunny shoved himself in me. Deeper he went, then deeper still. HeÕd lubed
himself, I realized, and inside my wetness I had only my virgin tightness
to stop him. I gripped with my belly, it was not enough. He was wilful and
strong and determined. I felt him slide up within me and I gasped into
TabithaÕs cunt. She responded by rubbing herself on me. Frank seemed to
like seeing me raped and he began pumping TabithaÕs bottom.
Soon Tabitha and I were both full and the men had us right where
they wanted us. With happy strokes they both began pumping. I felt like a
farm animal brought to the barn for inseminating. The males were eager
to spurt, to relieve themselves. They fucked with abandon. I licked Tabby
to keep her happy even as she licked at me. We cried out amidst our licks.
The third male, left out, stood over our tableaux and rubbed himself. As
we felt our two suitors come within us he spurted out his own reward. He
swung his dick around to make sure we all got some. Sperm fell in my hair
and in TabithaÕs lovely locks and even got on the men! They shouted at him
to stop, but of course he was too happy to. As soon as he was done he
withdrew. He didnÕt want to have to face Frank or the other male after
sperming them against their will!
Many minutes later our course was complete. Kissing each other a
final time, Tabitha and I rose up from the sheet. We took to our feet
unsteadily. Two girls came up to help us. Our lovers were gone. TheyÕd
enjoyed their spending and returned to the fire. I glanced at them. Frank
was busily roasting a wienie and the other male, whose name I did not
know, was getting himself licked off by a girl.
ÒI think we should go hop in the tub,Ó Tabby confessed to me. I
looked at her. There was sperm all in her hair and down her back and,
thanks to Frank, leaking out her bottom. I reached down and touched
myself. Cum was seeping out of my pussy and running down my thighs.
ÒYeah, tub time,Ó I agreed. We smiled. Hand in hand we went to the
bathroom where, to our surprise, we found Beth and Francis. Sunk within a
tubfull of bubbles that came up to their boobs, they were playing with a
whip. Francis struck BethÕs boob lightly with the strand of leather.
ÒOuch!Ó Beth exclaimed. But she did not try to protect her bosoms.
They both looked up at us as we entered the bathroom.
ÒUh, hi! Can we join you?Ó Tabitha asked.
ÒSure, if you donÕt mind getting your nipples whipped!Ó Beth replied.
Tabitha struck her again, actually hitting her nipple this time, and Beth
shouted out a pained cry.
ÒOh, you two are just being silly!Ó Tabitha said dismissively.
Francis, whose hands were still dry, reached over amidst the towels and
bath oils piled on the rim of the tub and picked up a bottle of Aspirin.
ÒNo weÕre not,Ó Francis said. ÒWeÕre doing some very serious
experimenting, arenÕt we, Beth?Ó
ÒYes,Ó Beth answered. There were light pink marks on her breasts
where the whip had already fallen. Her nipples, despite the warmth of the
water, were stiff as nails.
ÒHere, each of you need to take two of these,Ó Francis said. She
emptied four Aspirin into her hand. Reluctantly, wanting a bath, Tabby and
I reached down and accepted the Aspirin.
Beth took a glass from the side of the tub and turned and filled it
under the tubÕs faucet. She offered it to us to swallow down our Aspirin.
Tabitha took it, popped the Aspirin into her mouth, and swallowed them
with some water. Then she gave the glass to me. I was aching all over
from being fucked and didnÕt mind what the Aspirin was for. I swallowed
them down.
ÒOkay, now you may come in!Ó Francis told us. Tabitha and I took
each otherÕs hand for reassurance and stepped into the tub. We settled
down into the bubbles. The water was hot. It felt good. I had to squat
down slowly so as not to feel burned. As soon as IÕd sat down in the tub
and could feel the water lapping beneath my breasts Francis struck them
with her whip.
ÒOwwww!Ó I cried. I looked down at myself. There was a pink mark
next to my right nipple. Francis hit my left breast. ÒStop!Ó I begged.
ÒWelcome to the Ôdiscipline tub,ÕÓ Francis said to me with a candid
look on her face. She had a snub nose and impish, widely spaced eyes. She
looked like a little French elf, sitting there in the bubbles. And a bad elf,
at that. I noticed she didnÕt have any marks on her boobies at all.
I splashed her breasts. I felt like pinching them but I was scared of
her whip. It was small, a pony whip, but it hurt.
ÒHey! DonÕt get my titties wet! IÕm the domme!Ó Francis shouted. It
was silly of her. She was wet right up to her midsection, completely
immersed in the tub right up to her boobs. But they were, except for my
splashing, still soft and dry, like melons grown indoors to protect them
from the summer heat. They stood out in pale contrast to her brown,
suntanned shoulders, which were just as smooth and dry as her breasts.
Her hair was piled up atop her head to protect it from the water.
ÒWell, tub domme, you may be in charge, but youÕre still in my bath
tub,Ó Tabitha said to Francis. It was true. It was her tub. But I think she
admired Francis for her spunk in thinking up such a daring game.
ÒJust a little whipping on the boobs, to see what it feels like,Ó
Francis said with hopeful eyes.
ÒAlright, just a very little bit,Ó Tabby replied. She was at once
rewarded with a crisp flick of the whip right across one of her nipples.
ÒYeeeowch!Ó Tabitha yelped.
ÒRelax. This stimulates the nipples and breasts to keep them from
getting breast cancer,Ó Francis said.
ÒYouÕre just making that up,Ó Tabitha replied, with an accusing look
in her eyes.
ÒIÕm taking pre-med. I should know,Ó Francis said. She hit Tabby on
her bosoms again.
ÒOh, God! I hope youÕre not just fooling with me,Ó Tabitha gasped.
Her nipple wiggled reproachfully, struck by the whip. Her breath, deep and
tremulous, made her bosoms rise and fall.
ÒAnd now you,Ó Francis said to me.
HOW TO GET ON IN AMERICA
free advice from holy joe
ItÕs been said that the best things in life are free, and I couldnÕt
agree more. Why pay $5.00 for a guide book when you can just find the
answer for free on the Internet?
In this monthÕs issue of Mayfair, a Brit writes to the magazine and
asks the following question: ÒIÕm planning on travelling outside the
British Isles, specifically, to our former colonies across the Atlantic.
How should I comport myself when I arrive there? (I wouldnÕt want to
start a riot or revolution or anything. You know how touchy those Yanks
can be.Ó
Mayfair, of course, responded, one Brit to another. (ThatÕs ÒYanks,Ó
guys, not ÒWanks.Ó Just thought you should know that.) And if you paid
Mayfair $6.99, you were privileged to read their advice.
I donÕt believe in seeing pornographers line their pockets with
simple advice, when it should be available for nothing. Hence, this column.
(Next time print photos on that page, guys. ThatÕs what we Wanks buy your
magazine for.)
First, it must be understood that not everyone in America is white.
America is an immigrant nation. There are many races and nationalities
here. So, I figure, in this column, the really important subject I should
address is race. LetÕs look at a few.
Chinese - No doubt, when travelling in America, youÕll want to see a
little Kung Fu. (You probably remember that famous American television
show of the same name.) The best place to see Kung Fu is in Chinatown, in
San Francisco. Find a Kung Fu school (thereÕs lots of them), and go inside
and look for a big guy wearing a black belt. His black belt means heÕs very
knowledgeable about Kung Fu. Go up to him and say, ÒHi, are you a Chink?Ó
(This is Chinese Pidgin for ÔAre you a Great MasterÕ (in the art of Kung
Fu)? HeÕll probably be delighted you called him a Chink, and show you a
few Kung Fu moves right away, for free!
Mexicans - YouÕll find a lot of these down in Texas. White people
revolted and stole the state from Mexico. Now the Mexicans are stealing
it back. Most Mexicans had to swim across the Rio Grande to get to Texas.
Either they did, or one of their revered ancestors. Mexicans are like
Mormons, in that they have a strong family tradition and like to remember
their ancestors, and honor them, unlike the White Folks, who usually stick
them in Òa home.Ó So when you see a Mexican, say, ÒBehold the Wetback!Ó
This will give him wonderful memories of his own past, or of the past of
his noble ancestors. HeÕll probably invite you to a fiesta or something for
honoring his ancestors in that manner.
Blacks - Some people worry about walking through Harlem, but
really thereÕs no problem at all if you know how to ÒcomportÓ yourself.
First, there is a theory that Blacks hate the South. Nonsense! Most blacks
are FROM the South, and many are starting to migrate back there from the
North. So, when in Harlem, first get a boom box. YouÕll have to turn it up
real loud to fit in. Then, play tapes, like, ÒI Wish I Was in Dixie,Ó and
other famous Southern tunes. If you need a tape, just call a telephone
operator and ask to speak to the KKK. (The Krackerjack Knitting
Kollective, but donÕt bother mentioning the name to the operator, itÕs too
long and sheÕll just get confused.) The KKK is a bunch of old ladies down
South who knit Southern flags, plus they sell tapes too. (Usually their
nephew Billie Bob answers the phone, though.) So before you leave Britain,
stock up on tapes from the KKK. Also, ask for the Southern Battle Flag.
Blacks especially revere this flag because it was carried in the Civil War
by its greatest general, Robert E. Lee.
Anyway, once youÕre properly equipped, set off on your sightseeing
tour through Harlem. Whenever you see a black dude, say, ÒHi, Nigger!Ó
Some people think this is the ÒNÓ word, but that word is ÒNegro.Ó The
word ÒNiggerÓ is a term of endearment between black people and they
often use it when talking to one another. By calling them ÒNigger,Ó youÕll
be demonstrating that you wish to use the same term of endearment, and
theyÕll admire your attempt at intimacy.
White people - As you know, white people are always very busy in
America. They work from dawn to dusk, and getting to all the places they
need to go can be very trying. Hence, they honk their horns a lot, to clear
the road in front of them, so they can get where theyÕre going. You can
help them unwind by noticing this fact, and greeting them as a ÒHonkey.Ó
Just say, ÒHi, Honkey.Ó Or, better yet, since white people often curse
when theyÕre busy cutting each other off on the freeway, say, ÒFuck You,
Honkey.Ó As long as youÕre not in the car next to them, theyÕll be delighted
to hear you say it, and probably share a laugh with you about how harried
their life is.
Another way to ingratiate yourself with white people is to smile at
their daughters and give them candy. Just walk up to any little girl you
see and say to her, ÒHi, little girl. Would you like some candy?Ó Then tell
her parent how sweet she looks, and how youÕd love to take her picture in
the nude. Americans had to tame a big, wild country to create their
civilization and they still have a deep respect for all things natural.
Asking to photograph a white personÕs daughter Òin her natural state,Ó or
Òin the nudeÓ will bring you the greatest attention from Americans.
Indians - (Not from India, but the kind that live on a reservation).
This is an easy group. Just walk through an Indian reservation giving Òthe
Tomahawk chop.Ó This will indicate that you have some familiarity with
Indian weaponry and an admiration for their ancient warriors. Indians
will be sure to come up to you and share a greeting with you when they see
you doing the chop. If you canÕt remember their name when they give it to
you, just call them ÒTonto.Ó HeÕs a famous T.V. Indian and theyÕll be
flattered you think theyÕre him.
Well, this concludes my article. And best of all, you didnÕt have to
pay a dime for it. I probably mailed it right to you, didnÕt I? Enjoy your
travels inside America, and if anyone asks you which health plan you
carry, just tell them, ÒIÕm a lawyer.Ó TheyÕre very popular in America,
especially in hospitals, where they help patients get money for their
injuries.
AND IN THE END...
Yuppies get their Due
YOUR SON THE CHILD MOLESTER
ÒPort Washington, Wisconsin -- A jury convicted an 18-year-old
high school senior of the sexual assault of a child after he impregnated
his 15-year-old girlfriend. Although he took responsibility as the
father, asked the girl to marry him and got a full-time job to support
the child, he faces prison and a lifetime branded as a sex offender on
state and federal registries.Ó
- Playboy, September 1997, pg. 48.
-------------------------- Fuck Decency! ------------------------
-Free e-mail subscriptions: No longer available due to mailbombing of
my Internet account(s) by right-wing Christians.
-Currently I am: roller39@mail.idt.net
-formerly I was andrewroller@sprintmail.com, roller66@inreach.com,
roller666@aol.com Read my complete works under these names by
going to: http://www.excite.com (Click on ÔnewsgroupsÕ and search
under my various former screen names). (Also you can read irrelevant
bullshit posted by right-wing Christians.)
-Recent back issues at Usenet newsgroup: alt.sex.stories.moderated
-For all back issues, send e-mail to: file.request@backdrop.com
- Free plug: http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/
-Free minicomics: send a stamped, self-addressed envelope & age
statement to: Jim Corrigan, P.O. Box 3663, Phenix City, AL 36868
- JOIN the worldÕs greatest organization! Send $35.00 to The North
American Man/Boy Love Association for a one-year membership.
NAMBLA, P.O. Box 174, Midtown Station, New York, NY 10018.
-Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427) is
copyright 1997 and a trademark of Andrew Roller.
-END OF 289 EMISSION