Chapter 6 – Tara

I'd gone to bed one evening and had cried myself out and was almost asleep
when I felt the covers move and a young body crept into the bed with me –
Tara. "What are you doing here, sweetie? You should be in your own bed
sleeping."

"Dad, I know you're hurting for mom and I thought maybe if I came in and
hugged you and cuddled you you'd feel better and maybe you'd sleep."

I couldn't think for a moment but I finally realized that one of the things I
missed most was having Peggy hug me and cuddle me. If Tara wanted to do that,
what could it hurt I thought. Tara cuddled up to me with her back to my front
and reached over and taking my hand moved it over to hold her. That was all it
took to allow me to have a peaceful sleep – one that lasted all night. In the
morning thought, when I woke up I was aghast to discover that my hand was now
holding Tara's small breast. I realized that this how I often woke up with
Peggy and I must have unconsciously done the same with Tara. I started to
gently take my hand away when Tara reached up and held my hand on her breast.
"Leave it there dad, I know you used to do that to mom and I like the feel of
it." she said.

"Tara, I can't do that to you, you're my daughter, that's... that's..." I
started.

"Dad, I know you didn't do it on purpose and if it helps you sleep I want you
to do it to me. Ashley and I talked and I'm going to sleep with you just like
we did last night. If you start to sleep properly you'll be able to get back
to normal." 'This is coming from a twelve-year-old girl? Wow, that's really
mature thinking.' I thought to myself. How could I not accept her logic.

"Okay, you can sleep with me, but you mustn't ask me to do any more than
cuddle and hold you. Okay?"

"Okay Dad, I can live with that... <mumble><mumble>" Tara replied.

"What were you saying?" I asked.

"Oh nothing, I just thought about something. Nothing to worry about."

So here started the process of the girls helping me get my life back in order.
Little did I know what was in store for me.

That night, as promised, Tara came in and climbed into bed with me, snuggled
up to me with her bum in my groin and taking my hand placed it on her breast.
I soon fell asleep, holding my little girl's breast and woke up the next
morning feeling as rested as I had before Peggy's death. I lay there relaxing
and enjoying the feeling when it dawned on me that my 'morning wood' was
poking into Tara's bum. I pulled away and went into the bathroom to relieve
myself. When I came back out I took a seat in the chair across from Tara. Her
eyes were open and I again tried to explain to Tara why we couldn't do this
anymore. "Tara, I'm sorry, I should have realized that my erection was poking
you in the behind yesterday. It didn't register with me until this morning, so
I don't think..." I had to stop because a small hand came out and covered my
mouth.

"Daddy, stop. I know you had an erection and I know why. Mom talked to Ashley
and I lots about couples and sex and why a man gets an erection and all that
kind of stuff. Mom said we were going to hear all kinds of stuff at school and
we'd be better off if we knew the truth before we heard those kinds of
things." I was shocked to hear that Peggy had been talking to the girls about
sex. Tara continued, "She was right. We heard all kinds of silly stuff like
'You can't get pregnant the first time' and 'Boys co... penises are huge and
will rip you apart' and a bunch of other stuff. We just listened to it and
didn't say anything but we knew it wasn't true so we could ignore it."

I didn't know what to say. I sat there with a stunned look on my face until
finally Tara said "Earth to Dad, are you in there?" I got back into focus and
started asking Tara about what Peggy had told the girls about.

"Mom started talking to me when I turned ten and she started doing the same
with Ashley last year. She told us that we could ask her anything we wanted
about sex or about our bodies or about a man's (or boy's) body and she'd tell
us. You know Mrs. Johansson? Well she took us to the university where they
have some kinda like frozen or something pieces of a man's and a woman's
private parts. They were cut down the middle so we could see what things
looked like inside and she explained about what the different things were. She
told us how an man and a woman had sex and what happened when the man's sperm
came out of his penis and why it didn't always cause a baby and all kinds of
things. She was really nice and didn't talk down to us and answered our
questions." Tara looked at me as if I should say something.

"Tara, I'm... I'm... I don't know what I feel. I'm glad Mom did that for you
but I'm still a bit uncomfortable about you feeling me with an erection.

"Daddy, I'm not worried about it. I know men often wake up with an erection in
the morning due to a full bladder. I also know that sometimes they get
erections at other times even if they aren't going to have sex with a woman.
No big deal. Don't you worry about it as I'm not." she said.

The next night was the same as the previous ones. I would get into bed and
Tara would come and join me, snuggle up with her back to my front and take my
hand and place it on her breast. Tonight when this happened, I became aware of
Tara's nipple becoming firm. 'My God,' I thought, 'she's getting turned on!' I
decided not to say anything since my discussing things with her in the past
had only resulted in me coming out on the short end of the stick.

This routine continued for a couple of weeks then one evening as I was waiting
for Tara to come and join me I was startled to see both Tara and Ashley come
into my room. "Daddy, my period started today so Ashley is going to sleep with
you. Don't worry, she knows what to do." and with that Ashley came over,
lifted the cover and slid in beside me. As Tara did, she turned and snuggled
up to me, her back to my front. I waited for her to reach behind and take my
hand when Tara spoke up. "Don't forget his hand" and I felt Ashley reach
behind, take my hand and put it on her breast.

Tara turned as she went out the door and said "Sleep well Daddy" then turned
off the light and left. For a moment I didn't know what to say or do – or even
think for that matter. Finally I whispered to Ashley "Are you okay with this?"
"Oh yes Daddy, Tara and I know you need a woman to be in bed with you like
Mommy did so that you can sleep. Don't worry, Tara and I have had a lot of
talks about this." I lay there quietly not quite knowing what to do or say to
that. Ashley started talking again. "Oh, and Daddy, I know you'll probably
have an erection in the morning and it will be poking into my bum and that's
okay too. Night-night, Daddy."

I couldn't get to sleep as easily that night as I thought about what was
happening. I'm sure Tara was leading this, but my two girls were determined to
be, at least partially, a surrogate wife. Where was this going, I wondered.
Finally I drifted off to another night of peaceful sleep.

The next morning as the girls and I were having breakfast, I decided I needed
to put an end to this. "Tara and Ashley, please listen to me and let me finish
what I'm going to say before you interrupt." I paused and looked at two girls
with very somber looks on their faces "Yes, Daddy" they replied almost in
unison. I continued looking at Tara "Ever since you came in that first night
and slept with me, I've had a deep and peaceful sleep but I think it's time
you girls..." looking at both of them "...both slept in your own beds. I want
that to happen starting tonight." I stopped and looked at them. The girls
continued to look at me for a minute then turned and looked at each other and
some silent conversation occurred between them. Finally they turned and looked
at me again. Tara started to speak.

"Okay Daddy, we'll try it tonight, but when you don't sleep well tonight like
we know you won't, one of us will be with you every night. Oh and by the way,
we're going to take turns and share the duty of sleeping with you. We were so
scared when you couldn't sleep and we don't ever want that to happen again."

What could I say? The logic she put forth was irrefutable and so I just had to
accept it. That night, as Tara predicted, I couldn't sleep and kept waking up
crying. The next night Ashley was back in my bed. For the next couple of
months the routine would continue. I would get into bed and one or the other
of the girls would come in and sleep with me.

Soon summer was upon us and I was wondering how I was going to look after the
girls. They'd been going to one of the next door couples – the 'grandparents'
as the girls like to call them after school for an hour or so until I got
home. Unbeknownst to me, the two sets of 'grandparents' had got together and
come up with a plan for the girls summer holidays. The four had coordinated
their summer plans so that one pair or the other would be home all of July and
August and the girls would be able to stay in our house but would be able to
go over and visit with one (or both) of the 'grandparents' in their house if
they wanted. The 'grandparents' had also decided that they'd look after giving
the girls breakfast and lunch and that I'd look after supper. In fact the
three of us had often been guests of one set or the other for a meal that it
almost seemed like we hardly ever cooked for ourselves. Before they broached
that plan to me they discussed it with the girls and the plan received the
girls' seal of approval. I was so relieved when the plan was presented to me
that I immediately agreed.

So it was that the girls got themselves up, got dressed and went off to which
ever house was the 'Duty House' for breakfast. It also came to pass that the
girls started calling the couples 'Grandma and Grandpa' and it was obvious
from the smiles on the two couples' faces that they were delighted to have
that happen.

One evening after one of these 'why don't you come over and eat with us
tonight' sessions, as I was sitting in the living room reading a magazine Tara
and Ashley came in. Ashley spoke up. "Daddy, Tara and I have been thinking.
Grandma and Grandpa Franks and Grandma and Grandpa Oreitz have been so nice to
us that we should say thank you to them. Tara and I have been talking and this
weekend is supposed to be really nice – not too hot and not raining - and we
thought we could get some stuff and do a barbeque and then give them something
to say 'thank you'. Tara and I have started making some 'thank you' cards -
one for each lady and one for each man and we'll each make four cards that so
each of the four grandparents will have a card from each of us girls.

"They've been so wonderful to us. Tara and I have talked to the ladies a lot
and the two men like to get away from their wives for a while some days so
they take us and we go down to the park or go and have an ice cream. Grandpa
Harry has that neat workshop and he makes wooden toys for kids and we often go
down and help him. We know they treat us just like we're their real grandkids.
Can we do that?"

I knew the 'grandparents' were having a ball looking after the girls and that
they loved them as if they were their own. Both sets of 'grandparents' had
grandkids of their own but those lived quite some distance away and the
grandparents only got to see them occasionally. How could I not agree to the
girls' suggestion.

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you both for being so thoughtful. How about we
do it on Sunday afternoon?" I said. The girls agreed and we talked about what
we'd do. The girls thought that we should have some sort of banner like the
Happy Birthday banners you see, but they'd decided to make their own. We went
out to the local stationary store and got some heavy construction paper and I
shopped around and found a nice ribbon in a crafts store nearby. Soon the
girls were busy making the banner and finishing their cards. I made a special
shopping trip found a couple of really nice 'thank you' cards, one for each
couple. I would add some heartfelt thanks to both couples in their cards.
Sunday rolled around and the barbeque was a success. Each of the
'grandparents' were delighted with the girls' cards and I thought I saw more
than one tear creeping into the corner of an eye.

Summer brought out another issue for us. Since the house was an older house it
didn't have air-conditioning. I had briefly looked into it last year but
before I could do anything about it Peggy's death occurred and I hadn't given
the matter any though. Our way of coping with the heat at night was to sleep
with the least amount of clothing on as possible. Occasionally Peggy and I had
even slept completely nude.

One very hot evening Tara came in to sleep with me and just had her panties on
– nothing on top. I started to object but was quickly shut down. "Before you
say anything, Dad, I'm going to sleep with you tonight and I'm not going to
suffer from the heat any more than I have to. Move over so I can get into
bed." I did and Tara moved into the usual position then grabbed by hand and
put it on her breast – her NAKED breast. I got hard almost instantly. From the
little imp beside me I heard a snicker then "Did I do that Daddy? I'm happy
you find me sexy Daddy, 'cause I think you're sexy too! <giggle>" and off to
sleep she went.

The next night Ashley came in and the same thing happened and like Tara,
Ashley giggled at my erection.

I was at my wits end trying to figure out how to get out of what was becoming
a very uncomfortable situation for me. One day the solution came out of the
blue from a surprising place. I'd gone over to the Franks' to get the girls
and as I came in, they ran out the door but Mable (Mrs. Franks) asked me to
sit and talk for a minute.

"David, the girls and I have been having conversations ever since they started
coming over to visit(no big surprise to me). In fact I was the one that got
Tara set up to deal with her periods wow! I'd never even thought about that).
I did it because I knew that firstly, you probably didn't have any idea as to
how to explain it to Tara and secondly because you were still dealing with
Peggy's death. Peggy had done some explaining but she hadn't got anything for
Tara. I helped her chose what she needed and helped her with it when we got
back here. I also included Ashley in the discussion/demonstration as I knew
she'd soon be reaching that stage. I made it clear to the girls that they
could always come to either me or Helen(that's Mrs. Orietz) if they had any
questions about 'women's things' and they've come to me several times.

Mable stopped and seemed to be thinking for a minute before she continued.

"I don't want you to be offended over what I'm about to say and I don't want
you to be upset at Tara and Ashley. Mabel paused again. "In your dark period
after Peggy died one or both of the girls came over frequently worried about
you. Both Helen and I tried to help them as best we could but we didn't want
to be seen as 'interfering old busy-bodies'.

"A few of days before Tara came to you in your bed, Tara came over in tears –
tears of worry and despair. We talked for a long time about you and finally
Tara told me she thought you missed having Peggy beside you in bed. Tara
wondered if she could take her mom's place. I told Tara I needed to think on
things overnight and asked her to come back the next day. I was very
apprehensive about what Tara was proposing and asked Helen to come over so
that we could discuss it between us. The next day when Tara came over I told
her that Helen and I had discussed her suggestion and urged her to really
think this situation out. I explained to her how society would look at things
and that if word got out, you could well wind up in jail convicted of child
molestation.

"Tara didn't come over for a couple of days but then she came over and asked
if I would ask Helen to come over as well. I knew Tara had made a decision so
I called Helen and as soon as he arrived, Tara told us what she'd decided and
what she'd already done. Here's what she told me."

        "Grandma Mable and Grandma Helen, Ashley and I have talked and I've
        decided that tonight I'm going to go in and sleep with Daddy. I'm not
        going to make it anything sexual so I'll go to my room and change into
        my nightie and then go to his room when I know he's got into bed. I've
        thought about his objections and I think I've got answers to anything
        he might say. Ashley agrees with what I'm going to do."

"Well," said Mabel, "Helen and I were still afraid of what would happen and we
told Tara that we'd stay up late and if there was any problem to call us or
come over and get us and we'd do what we could. With that, Tara went back to
your house.

"So you see, both Helen and I know that the girls have been sleeping with you
and we know that you've reacted as we expected but that Tara has won you over.
We also are aware that on occasion you've reacted as any adult male would do
and we don't place any blame on you.

"Since the first conversation that Helen, Tara and I had, Tara has been
keeping us abreast of happenings. Since the night Ashley slept with you,
Ashley has also been included our conversations. Our original misgivings about
this have disappeared and we support the girls in what they've done."

Mabel stopped and took a deep breath.

"Okay, here goes – and please don't be mad at what I'm about to say." She
looked at me and I nodded.

"In the last week or so, I've noticed a very subtle change in Tara's view of
you. I believe she is falling in love with you, not as a child and a father
but as a woman and a man." She paused for a long time before continuing. "I
suspect that Tara is going to try to get you into the situation where you can
take her virginity – and she will be delighted to do that. If she does that –
and only if she initiates the action - and if you agree to her request you
will have our (the four of us 'grandparents') tacit agreement with you
complying with Tara's request. I must emphasize that Tara must be the
initiator and you must not in any way pressure her."

I sat there with my mouth agape. Did I just hear things right? Was Mabel
telling me it would be okay to have sex with my daughter?

"Uh... Uhhh... I don't quite know what to say. Let me make sure I'm hearing
things correctly. If Tara comes to me and asks me to have sex with her and
I've not applied any pressure you four will be okay with that?"

"Exactly. The key is it must be Tara's decision and hers alone. I'm going to
keep a close eye on her and talk to her about this if I think she's getting
nearer to going ahead. If you see anything that leads you to believe she's
headed in that direction please let me know and I'll do what I can."

"Wow! Oh my! Wow!" was all I could say.

"David," Mabel began again, "All four of us were terribly afraid that you
would do yourself serious harm – maybe even kill yourself and when Tara
started to sleep with you things seemed to get better almost overnight. Tara
is an exceedingly astute and smart young lady and she will never do anything
to hurt you and I believe she's helped you tremendously. Now go home and have
supper with Tara and Ashley. Tara has been making spaghetti while we've been
talking and she's waiting to serve you the first meal she's made completely by
herself." and with that she got up came over and once I'd got up she gave me a
big hug and a kiss on the cheek then turned me and pushed me towards her door.
"Go. Go and eat what Tara has lovingly made for you."

I turned back to her with a big smile on my face and thanked her profusely and
asked her to tell Helen thanks for me then turned and almost ran home.

When I got home as Mabel had said there was spaghetti and spaghetti sauce
cooking on the stove and the table was set for the three of us to eat. I
decided to act as if Mabel hadn't said anything to me and acted surprised.
"Tara, what are you doing? Are you cooking supper for us?" "Yep. Go and wash
and sit in the living room. Supper will be ready in about 10 minutes." I did
as was directed and while eating supper I was profuse in my compliments to
Tara and to Ashley whom Tara said had helped.

That night it was Tara who came to me and I was more aware of what she was
doing. At one point I felt her 'accidentally' touch my penis. I didn't say
anything but as the days went on other instances of more blatant sexual
display occurred – a door 'accidentally' left ajar; a 'sorry Daddy, I didn't
know you were undressed'; a 'do you think my boobs are too small? After all,
I'm almost thirteen' and things of that nature. One day I came home to see her
looking at a picture on the internet of a man and a woman having sex. She made
it look like it was an accident and that she'd closed the window as quickly as
she could but it was just one more clue. One day Mabel called and said one
word "Soon".

I wasn't surprised, even though I acted like it when Tara came in to sleep
with me without anything on. "Tara, where are your panties?" I asked. "Oh
Daddy, it's so hot I just want to sleep with nothing on so that the breeze can
blow over all of me." I didn't say anything and waited to see what would
transpire. As soon as Tara was settled she reached for my hand but this time
she 'accidentally' dropped it in the vicinity of her pussy. "Ops, sorry Dad,
I'm a bit clumsy tonight." When she reached down to pick it up again she made
sure my fingers brushed over her mons. I didn't say anything and we drifted
off to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning I could feel Tara playing with herself and just
lay there not moving. Suddenly Tara turned and facing embarrassment said "Oh
Daddy, I'm sorry I shouldn't have been..." "'Masturbating' is the correct
term" I said. "Tara," I continued, "I'm not sure I know what you're doing.
You've been showing more of yourself to me and doing things that make me ask
'What for'. Care to fill me in?"

Tara, at this point, was deeply embarrassed. "Daddy... Uh... Um... Ohh..." and
then she stopped. "Tara, why don't you get up, put your light dressing gown on
and tell Ashley you're not feeling well and are going to stay home today.
Okay?" "Why?" she asked. "Because you and I need to have a long heart-to-heart
talk. I'm not mad at you and you're not in trouble but we need to clear the
air. Okay?" "Okay." she replied and did as I asked. While she was doing this I
called in to work and booked off for the day. I didn't give any reason but the
folks at work had become used to these sudden day off requests to deal with
some issue with the girls.

After Ashley had left for school, I took Tara by the hand and brought her into
the living room and sat her on the sofa. When she was settled I sat on the
hassock facing her. "Tara, if I was a boy and you'd be doing those sorts of
things to me I'd think you were wanting to go out with me and maybe fool
around or..." I paused leaving the sentence unfinished. "Are you trying to
tell me something like that? Are you trying to tell me you're in love with me
– man and woman love? I need to know what you want and what you want me to do.
I'm going to let you think for a bit while I get a coffee and when I get back
we can discuss things." With that I got up and went out into the kitchen and
puttered around for a couple of minutes before finally getting my coffee.

I sat down on the hassock again and looked at Tara. At first she wouldn't look
at me but finally she looked up and I could see she was crying. "Tara, my
dear, there's nothing to cry about; you're not in trouble and I'm not angry
with you. What's the matter?"

At first Tara just sat there so I went and sat beside her and hugged her. As
soon as my arms were around her she leaned into me and started to sob. Through
the sobs I could hear her story.

"Daddy <sob> I... I guess <sob> I'm in love <sob> with you. I <sob> wanted you
to <sob> love me back <sob> but you didn't. <sob><sob>" Tara sat up and looked
straight into my face "You still think I'm a child and I'm NOT. I'm almost
thirteen and... and... Ohhhhh... <sob><sob><sob>"

"Tara, look at me." I said. Tara, still sobbing quietly, turned and looked at
me. "Tara dear, I could see that this was happening and so could Mrs. Franks."
Tara looked at me in horror. "It's okay, no one is going to do or say anything
and what we, you and I decide to do is our business. Okay?" Tara hung her head
but nodded 'yes'. I took a finger and lifted her head up and leaned down to
kiss her on the lips. Tara's face lit up. "Here's what we'll do but first some
rules. Rule number one – everything must be discrete so that nothing can
happen. I know that Mabel talked to you about that. Do you remember?" Another
nod of yes. "Rule number two – I will never initiate anything. Everything must
be your choice. Okay?" Again a nod of yes. "Last rule – you must discuss what
you are thinking about with Mabel and/or Helen." Tara's eyes got wide but I
stopped her talking and continued. "I know you've discussed things with Mabel
in the past and both Mabel and Helen are wise ladies and can keep you from
making a mistake. Okay?" Tara nodded.

I needed to take a break and suggested to Tara that she go and get something
to drink while I was off in the bathroom. When I returned I started to talk
again.

"Let me give you an example of rule number 1. Today I gave you a kiss on the
mouth. That's okay here in the house but you must never display that kind of
affection for me outside the house. A kiss on the cheek is okay but not on the
mouth. Does that make sense?" Tara nodded yes.

"When it comes to rule number two, you need to tell me in words what you'd
like to do." I continued. "If you want me to play with your breasts, for
example you must tell me that quite clearly. You can whisper to me when we're
in bed or pass me a note but you must be clear on what you want. On this
subject, you can ask me to do something but if I think it's going to hurt you
or if I think you're not quite ready for that I'll refuse you and I'll tell
you why. If you follow rule three I don't imagine I'll ever have to say 'no'
as one or both of the ladies will likely have told you the same thing.

"Have you any questions or do you want to tell me anything?"

Tara sat quietly for a long time appearing to be thinking. Finally she
started. "Dad, Grandma Helen and Grandma Mabel told me that I could talk to
them about anything and ask them anything. Can I do that with you?"

"Yes dear, anything. Please be discrete about that though let's keep it where
only you and I know what you said or asked." Tara grinned and continued.
"Um... Okay, one day will you make love to me like you did with Mom?"

I smiled as I'd been expecting that. "Yes I will, but let's start slow. I'll
make a deal with you. If you ask I'll make arrangements for there to be just
you and me here in this house on the night of your thirteenth birthday and at
that point we can make love like a man and a woman." Tara's face lit up again
and she jumped up and hugged me whispering in my ear over and over "I love you
Dad". Finally I managed to extricate myself and held Tara by the arms. "Why
don't you see if Mabel and Helen are available and ask them what you should
ask me to do first? Mabel is probably expecting you to do this as she and I
have been talking about what happened today." Tara looked a bit surprised but
nodded and headed out to phone Mabel. Pretty soon she was back. "I'm going
over to Grandma Mabel's and have lunch with the two grandmas and then Grandma
Mabel says they're taking me shopping. Okay?" I grabbed her and hugged her and
gave her a kiss on the lips. Enjoy yourself, Tara, my love." Tara smiled
widely blushed and ran to get dressed.