Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 {Okay, the following one has a soundtrack, [Artist - Track (Album/Mix) and
is pretty much just an outlet for an acute hyperarousal.  I don't generally
write pseudosaphic stroke-fic, but there's 1 thing I can do about that...

   Continuity Note: This one is a bit of a Prequel to Backdoor Video, in
that "Stuart" is a mortal host possessed by a copy of Molinja in Portland,
then moves to the Tacoma area (Actually just outside the county line) to
keep an eye on a CP/Snuff Tape ring...}

   Psychotica - Harlow (Pandemic)

   "Hm," What's her face, cute.  Shy, though.  I don't know what I was
waiting for, but she was in here, about once a week.  Not even looking at
the toys, but spending a good long while in the girls' section looking at
titles, and covers.  [No Man's Land.] "Uh!"

   She looks down, not sure what color her eyes were, but she looks up,
blushing.  "Huh?"

   "Sorry, this one's pretty mainstream.  I don't know what you're into, or
who for that matter, but if your boyfriend is trying to spark your
curiosity, he'll probably love this.  Otherwise, well I guess I can help
you find something better."

   "Oh, I don't have." She can't even say it.

   "Come on," I took it back to the shelves.  "Anything you can tell me
will help us find what you need." If I remember previous selections, she's
all over the map.  There was a peeing one.  Burns through them pretty
quickly, though, most of them were at least 4 hours.

   "I uh." Eyes locked.  Kind of swaying, or twisting on her legs.  "Didn't
you already rent this one?'" She nodded, "A favorite?  Okay, well this is a
pretty good company.  [Productions Limited] they mostly do online now that
video stores are becoming increasingly obsolete."

   "Is this your place?" She looks around.

   "Ha!" No, "I just work here, if it were the selection would be a lot
better." I do help with some of the ordering, though.  "Here." [Back Yard
BFFs.] "By lesbians, for lesbians, most straight guys can't stand this one,
too slow, and organic."

   "What's that mean?"

   Sigh, "You see the hardware section?  Well, that's all optional," with
the possible exception of lube "Along with shaving, makeup, pornstar nails,
jello bags...  I like this one because it's just the girls, hair, warts,
and all.  If that's not," I move to put it back.

   "Oh no," she takes it, but her eyes follow my hand, instead of reading
the case.  [M||A||I||N] tattooed on my knuckles, Or the dagger on the back
of my hand.  "What about the hardware options?"

   "What about them?" I turned to the displays.

   "How do they work?" Sigh, let my shoulders fall.

   "We're fresh out of instructional videos," they don't make them, or ones
that aren't dangerously misinformed.  She comes around my shoulder, "Pretty
much require solo experimentation, or hands-on instruction."

   "Do you," she looked over, up my shoulder, and I became intensely
conscious of my heels.  "Know anyone?"

   "Haha, If I did, I wouldn't be peddling smut for a living." With my
tattoos, piercings, haircut, it's pretty much this, or the kitchen.  I'd
rather sell smut.  "Come on," I walked her back to the counter,
"Le'ssee..." I peeled off the cellophane, She giggled.  Popped the disk
drive, and turned the screen around.  "You want a preview?  I want to make
sure you get what you need here." Her eyes locked to the screen, and I
watched her face.  Her eyes, flashing tan with legs, and hips moving
around, shirts coming off.

   And yeah, I'd watched her before.  TBPH, the first time was a bit of a
surprise.  I didn't ask 'Are you lost, sweety?' but she went right to the
appropriate section, and about 3 weeks in I picked up on the pattern.

   Friday night, probably for the weekend.  Either lonely, or with someone
who needs porn, most of it mainstream 'lesbo' pron to have any fun. 
Beautiful, in that modest home spun plain Jane girl-next-door kinda way I
really like.  My heart beat, too fast, and loud just from standing this
close, watching porn flash across her eyes.  "Mh." Suck in that lip. 
Glance at the clock, hopefully 'Bert wouldn't be late, again.  Look at the
case art, show her some C/DVD extras, kill some more time, before I get
off...

   "Nh!" she licked her lips, and looked up at the sound.  "Uhm, you in a
hurry?" She shook her head.  "It's a pretty boring shift, for a couple more
hours, if you want to hang out." Wish we had some booths, maybe.  Yeah,
some booths would be nice, or fantasy rooms.  She looks back, and I imagine
the Schoolgirls'.  Posters, homework, stereo to turn up so the folks don't
hear us moaning, and grunting.

   "Mhm?" she nods at the screen.  I pull the stool around the counter for
her.  "Have a seat." Make yourself comfortable, don't smell her hair, don't
smell her hair don't, "Snh?" Damn it.  I felt so predatory, and it felt so
bad I should probably take a break or something.  "Don't steal anything," I
got a cigarette out, "Okay?" We can smoke in there, ash tray right next to
the register, In fact I was technically breaking city ordinance standing
under the awning over the door, or within 25' of it.  "Fuchit!" Long drag,
out my nose.  Check the time.  "Fuck!" HOURS!

   Look, I work in a smutshop.  I kind of have a high tolerance for erotic
stimulation.  Seen the entire inventory, checking for playability, even the
ones with hairy sweaty bears barebacking each-other.  And I felt like a
middle school girl crushing on the head cheerleader.  Or, you know like I
did when I started crushing on the cheerleaders.  "Hn!" Fuck.

   Expectation leads to disappointment, I know this, but so help me if
she's balancing on that barstool with both hands in, I can't be held
responsible for my actions.  Nope, damn.  Actually, it's kind of cute, how
she has her feet up on the bar, knees demurely together, hands folded in
her lap.  Fantastic posture, eyes swinging to the corner, half a
self-conscious smile, getting away with out me catching her looking.

   [Psychotica - Modern Utopia (Pandemic)]

   "Are you," a lesbian, jaded, trying not to scratch your back?  "Punk
rock?"

   "Hold on," I reach around her, twist the mouse, and >| pause it.  "I'm
gay, you got that.  I don't really follow any other subcultures." Scroll
down...

   ...  "Ah!" [Ingrid Michaelson - Girls Chase Boys (Video)] "How's that?"
Poppy, catchy, pretty much just on my media player for the video.  Check it
out, pretty nice.  Real poppy music, though.  "Sn!" stand up, and don't
touch her hair.  Not quite, but the video's back up.  And my fingers are
shaking pretty bad anyway.  I don't want to prey on her.  Okay, I really
Really want to prey on her, but I don't want to really prey on her.  Uh,
did I really write that sentence?  I'll leave it to show how I feel just
writing about it.

   "I never," she mumbles, so I look back up to see they're up to creative
use of adirondac chairs in the programme.  "Are you, huh, flirting, with
me?" I'm not even going to estimate how many time's I've seen this one, and
it's still the first scene...

   "Not really," I come around, "I'm attracted, yes.  Sorry, if it makes
you uncomfortable, but."

   "Oh no," she tears her eyes away from the screen.  Black, with her
lightish brownish hair, it's almost as striking as Black&Blue, and I can't
help sighing, "I just don't."

   "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I can't finish that for you."

   "I can't, I don't.  Uh!" she looks up, and away.  "I just look at the
movies, but I don't do anything."

   "Oh," I shrug, "Well that's all right, have you ever been with anyone?"
She shook her head.  "Well I'm not going to do anything to you.  Relax, I
know all this," boots, sawed off overalls, prison striped long sleeve
teeshirt, tattoos, rings, studs...

   [Portishead - Glory Box (Dummy)]

   "Huh!" roll my eyes, "How are you on friends?" Head shake?  "Uh, well
lets start there.  You free for the weekend?  Cool, let's go out, or
something.  My treat, as soon as 'Bert shows up to relieve me." Or let me
go...

   "Lynne" {FF NS}

   "Stuart," she shook my hand, but I turned up her wrist.

   "Why does that say [Main]?" I felt over her knuckles with my thumb.

   "It's a pun, French for Hand, actually.  I'm right handed." She took her
keys off her belt, and unlocked the drawer to start counting.

   I don't know about attraction.  It doesn't make any sense, all those
tattoos, and her wrecked hair, she even smelled a little, which should
certainly disgust me, or turn me off, right?  It's like that Backyard
video, "I skipped over it for weeks because of the girls.  They looked so
hairy, and dirty, and rough, but then." I saw them, and she was there.

   "Mhm?" She nodded.  She popped out the disk, and put it in a black
plastic bag.  Not like a garbage bag, about the size of the case, but with
holes in the top for handles.  No logo, either.  "Huh!  Nobody understands
attraction, or arousal.  Seriously, you get turned on, and make a mental
note: 'Well that works'!"
"No I don't," I shake my head.  She just waits, "Get turned on, I mean.
I feel wonderful, when I watch it, but aren't you supposed to get wet, or

something?"

   "Pornographic sex-ed?" She nodded, "Porn isn't sex.  It's sexU-Al,
there's sex in it, but they change a lot around for the presentation, and
to put it bluntly, we usually get the shaft because most of it is made by
guys for guys."

   "She ain't lying," the guy stopped counting, looked up, then back down
to continue counting.

   "The trick is finding out what turns You on, at any given moment, that
can change.  'Mood is a thing for cattle, or making love'." she shrugs,
"Uh, I guess you started all right, came in, went through the selection,
what did you find?"

   "Not a lot of story,"

   "Books," she spun the tower of paperbacks.  "Uhm," around to the
girl/girl section.  "Here, not really any more realistic, but at least most
of these are housewives' fantasies, instead of loser boys living with their
parents." [$7.99, or 3 for $15!]

   "Hey!"

   "Not you 'Bert," She grabs her bag, "You hungry?" Sort of.  "Here's,
there's this great diner around the block, family friendly, so we can
talk."

   "Huh?" Warm night.

   "Sorry, our family.  LGBT?  Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual..."

   "Here, let me," unlock the car, stick the plain black bag under the
seat, and close it.  Chirpchirp!  The lights blinked.

   "Come on," she put her arm over my shoulder, and wow, she smelled with
that stripey shirt off.  She carried her denim jacket, and her bag, not
really a purse at all, for her laptop.  Hairy, she doesn't shave, and why
do I like that smell?  She's sweaty, I can tell, it's even pretty stale,
but I want to bury my nose in her armpit, and just breathe it in. 
Shouldn't that be disgusting?

   "The jeeros are pretty good, um you can get it with tempeh and/or
falafel instead if you're a vegitarian?" I shook my head, "Right, of course
not.  Um, can I get the meatloaf sandwich, no gravy, and a side of katsup?"
She said 'Katsup.' "Rye bread, fries, and a coke."

   "And you, miss?"

   "Um," look it over, "I'll have a coffee to start, while I make up my
mind." She shrugged, and wandered off.  "She's gay too."

   She nodded, "We don't really have a gay-town here, officially.  This
block is about it, because of denial.  'Do you know what the queers are
doing to the soil'?"

   "Hah, what?" I laughed.

   "Here," she got up, and rummaged around in her pocket, "I'll show you."
She walked over to the juke-box, and I just sat there, thinking about her
hand feeling around in her pocket, for quarters.

   "Hnh!" I blew, and sipped, added more sugar.  [Dead Milkemen - Stuart
(Beelzebubba)] It wasn't really a song, more like a rant with some weird
jangling guitar.  Like suicidal tendancies?  "Um, you think that was my
problem?" That took the bitterness out.  "Huh, I think, maybe I was looking
wrong.  At the mainstream," I looked around.

   "It's allright, you can say Porn.  Everyone in here knows where I work,"
She pulls [In & Out Video] across her sleeveless fuscha shirt, "or learn
pretty quick.  I don't have a closet." She thought.  "Where you looking for
girls like you?  How did this start?"

   "I guess I'm kinda addicted.  Huh, I found some, with my sisters, and
friends.  We're just kids, and didn't do anything, really.  We traded them,
but it was all straight stuff.  From our dads' and brothers' stashes?"

   "But not online?"

   "There's porn online too?" She looked shocked until I couldn't help
grinning.  "Haha, no.  That's another thing, on the list of things I don't
really get, but I like movies, and DVDs better.  I don't know why, but I
look forward to going to the store." Okay, I felt like I'd never stop
blushing, or my face would burn off at some point.  I wanted to say 'to see
you,' but I couldn't.

   [Dead Milkmen - Punk Rock Girl (Single)]

   "Hm," she nodded, "But you don't." She pointed down, at her lap, behind
the counter, but with 2 fingers held together.  I didn't know there's a
sign for that, officially.

   "I tried, but nothing really happens.  I feel myself, and my fingers,
but nothing else."

   "Huh, how old are you?"

   "23?"

   "Wow, huh!  I don't think you're fully sexualized, it sounds like.  I
was, sexualized.  Uh, there was this boy, and I was too young to think
about the unthinkable, so I didn't.  And he, well I guess it wasn't unlike
your porn exchange with your friends, only he used it more as visual aids.
We got into it, and trying the stuff the girls did, or wrote about.  That's
how I started discovering all that's wrong with porn."

   "If you hate porn so much, why do you sell it?"

   "Not all porn, just the really bad stuff that sells so well.  Take you,
for example.  You would've walked out with that bullshit, and been
confused, I guess until you worked your way down to the underground stuff,
or picked it on impulse.  So, I can at least help people, learn that it
doesn't have to be that way."

   "That backyard video is undergound?" I was learning a lot.

   "It shouldn't be, but it's like music.  First of all, there's a million
garage bands for every talented singer/songwriter, or socially aware acts,
but for another, most people, especially norms don't want to be aware,
ignorance is bliss.  So yeah, that's the main problem with most porn, most
of it's ignorant."

   "Huh," my chef's salad came, so I ate a while.  Weird breakfast, or late
night snack, I guess, but it's not like I actually slept any.  Dinner was
hours ago.  She obviously wasn't concerned about her weight, and my head
filled with the by now familiar feeling of not being disgusted, despite
anticipating disgust.  Ever since I found that store, I don't know, she
fascinated me, in such unexpected ways, and for some reason it just never
felt wrong.  "Huh, why is friday a slow night at the store?" I wondered.

   "We get the overflow," she shrugged, and munched fries.  Looked like she
was trying to finish off that half bottle of ketchup.  Or Katsup.  "Friday,
Saturday night they're mostly at the bars, or hooking up, somewhere.  Most
of our customers come in when there's no cars in the lot, or on the street,
afraid someone will see them, or something."

   "Hey yeah," I did that, "That's why I started coming in friday nights,"
she nodded, "Nobody else was there.  What?" She looked guilty.

   "Well, I kind of switched my schedule around.  That first night, when I
saw you, I was filling in, but then you came back, so yeah, I started
working friday nights."

   "Really?" she nodded, and pushed out her coke glass.  The waitress took
it to the fountain, and brought back the coffee.  "Yeah, I guess I came
back, to see you too." I just decided to go in out of curiosity there, saw
the rainbow flag, and read some of the pamphlets...  "Huh, I was just
coming out, to myself.  And you where there, and like you said, I was
ignorant."

   "Yeah," she got up, dropped a couple bills on the counter, and set the
empty glass on them.  "Well, I guess I can teach you a thing, or two."
Silver moneyclip.  She went right out, smoked, unhooked her keys from her
hip, but just held them.

   "Uh," I looked around, "Now,..  ?"

   "Can't smoke in the building," she turned, and unlocked the door to the
stairs.  "Oh, I live here." She leaned over, and I felt her fingers on the
side of my neck.  Her lips on mine.  "Goodnight." I opened my eyes, but the
door sung shut, and when I knocked she didn't come back, and answer.  There
wasn't a doorbell, or buzzer, intercom, or anything, just a doorway, and a
lock.  Not even a window.  I wanted one to smash through, but just beat on
it until I started crying.

   "Why?" Why did she do that?  I don't understand, but somehow I got to my
car, and back home.  God I was.  I felt sick, feverish, and angry.  My face
still burned, and my ears twitched with my pulse.  They do that sometimes.
She smelled like smoke, I could taste it on her lips, saw the cigarette
burning in the street where she flicked it off, but I didn't pick it up,
save it.  I remember how she smelled.  She stank, really, but I loved it.
As soon as I could, I got my underpants down, and found myself.  Okay, I
wasn't wet, but I was damp.  There was some moisture in there.  But I
forgot the video.  Fuck the video, I didn't even turn on the lights.

   Stuart {FF Saph Phon}

   "Mh, yes?" Her voice sounded strange, not sure if she was crying, or
what, but not like she did in the store.

   "Hey," I took a breath, waited...  "It's Stuart."

   "I know," Very strange, hoarse?  "Huh, how did y'?"

   "It's in your account," at the store.  In case you rent something, and
don't bring it back, or whatever.

   "Why did you leave me?" Now she sounded like she'd cry.  Hard to tell,
with a relative stranger.

   "Huh, I didn't want to," I hate this part, "Have to control myself.  If
you came up, uh!" I don't know what would have happened.  "And besides,
first date?"

   "You wouldn't," scared, "Hurt me?"

   "No, of course not." Intentionally, "Which is why I went, and frigged
off, took a cold shower," frigged off again, all day really.  "Yearh!"
Yawned.

   "Then why?" God, almost like a little girl.  Adult voice, but the way
one would ask why the sky is blue.  Because God is a boy, sweety.

   "Huh, you're new.  I want to show you, everything.  But, that requires
some patience, I wasn't really feeling just then.  I wouldn't hurt you, but
if I just," tear off all your clothes, and dive in feet first.  "Skip ahead
to the end, it could ruin everything.  Well most of it.  Uh!" I can usually
Talk, better, you know?  "Guys are like that, they just go straight for the
goal, and don't even give you time to get turned on, much less off.  I
didn't want to get selfish, and greedy, like I probably would have." Okay,
definitely.

   "Nh!"

   "Hm?" Okay, not crying.  "Are, yu'." Yeah.  No answer, in words, I can
spell out, but I could hear her breathing.

   "Yeah." Nobody else in the shop.

   "Huh, you know you can't tickle yourself?" Yeah?  "Sometimes it's like
that.  Maybe you just didn't turn yourself on?"

   "Yeah." huh, "Definit nh!"

   "You don't have to," listen.  Yeah, another gasp, "Say no more." cute
little grunt, "Just breathe." God, I was drenched!  I didn't count, but
surely I was satisfied by now.  Tired?  No?  "uN!" Not really.

   "Ynh!" Okay, fantasize, fantasize...  Where was I last time, never mind,

   "Naked?" Uh!

   "Yeah," Something sounded wet.  "huh hu'Uh!"

   "Touch my chest."

   "Uh!  Huh!" Breathless panting.  Sounded close.

   "Yeah huh!  Just, just like that!"

   "AH!" gasp, "AAH!"

   Whisper, "Kiss me." Those weren't words.  Wow, she's a moaner!  I wish I
could smell her at least, all I could remember was the scent of her hair,
shampoo mostly, but I still caught whiffs of.  "nH!"

   Her, "Huhuhuhuh!" Lorraine

   Lynne {FF NS}

   "Uh!" She rolled her eyes, set down her bag, and a 2 liter.  "You caught
me." Put her hands up.  I had to look away, to get the big CD box back in
the display.  "You mind staying a few extra?" The other girl shook her
head. She told me when she'd come in.  "Come on," she pulled my hand around
the register, and back to the office.  "Sit down." Not an order, but I
turned around, and held the arms of the office chair.

   "Wh?" she untied my shoe.

   "You're driving me insane, you know that?"

   "What're you?" She pulled my shoe off.  And looked up, grinning.  And
winked.  She slipped my sock off.  "DoinH!" I giggled, but she rubbed my
sole, and felt around the back of my leg.  Before I knew it, she had it up
over the knee.

   "Nice skirt." She grinned.  So, I just went with it.  And watched her.

   "Foot fetish?"

   "Not really," she shrugged, then kissed between my big toe, and the next
one.  "You've got great legs, though." She rubbed them, and I don't know
what I expected that to feel like, but I guess I didn't think about it. 
"Thought I'd start on one end." She licked my knee, and I couldn't keep my
eyes open.

   "Mh!" I guess it doesn't really matter where she touches me.  Or,
"OohH!" Okay, rubbing my skirt over the inside of my thigh.  I picked the
wool one because it felt kind of chilly, but "Hihn!" Or whatever.  God, we
stank.  I took a shower, that first time, then came back out to the
bedroom. It wasn't just me, though.  Just try to breathe, "yeah," the
mouth, get more air from my mouth.  "Huh!" She found my panties, and the
inside of my thigh felt wet enough with her kisses, and my eyes flew open
when she put my leg down.  Her mouth, on my chest now.  Her hair brushed
under my chin, and I just held onto her shoulders.  My neck burned, but she
just felt over my thighs, and up my hips.  "Oh," to my waistband, "Here." I
scooted forward in the chair.

   "Snh!" I took a breath through my nose too, "It's getting pretty muggy
in here," she smiled, and stuck her head up under my skirt.

   "Oh!" I guess the short hair makes sense now.  Or maybe it's got nothing
to do with that, but god her breath feels hot.  "Uh!"

   Stuart {FF Saph...}

   "Heh hehh hhehhn!" Wipe my mouth.  Her legs fell off my back, and she
bumped her forehead with her knuckles.

   "Hehn Hehn!" She shuddered.  I licked my fingers, and slipped her
panties up to her knees.

   "20 fucking minutes?" The girl who didn't want her name used looked at
her watch, and half ran for her car.  I took a long drag, and let it out my
nose, slow.  Let my heart run back down, caught my breath.  She's straight,
so I guess she doesn't know that's on the quicky end of the scale for me.

   "Gaaaaawd!" she came out, "Uh, can I have some?" She took my cigarette.

   "You smoke?"

   She shook her head, and coughed, "Thought I'd try it." Long sigh, her
shoulders were still shaking, so I held them.  I took another drag, "What
did you do!?" She laughed.

   I shrugged, kissed her, rubbed my stud back, and forth across her lips.
"Sorry it took so long, working in the dark." I winked.  Not a whole lot to
work with, actually.  Took some hide, and seek to find everything,
generally where expected, but not hanging out, and accessible.  As in some
women.  "I'll show you later, I just had to.  Do something."

   "Yeah," she shook her head, and made a face, so I took another drag. 
"Well it worked."

   "You know arousal, and everything isn't purely physical?" She shook her
head.  "Huh, we're women, show a guy tits, he's pretty much happy, but a
lot of what happens goes on up here," I kissed her head.  "To some degree,
usually.  I don't know how sensitive you are physically, mentally, and
emotionally.  Yet."

   "Oh," she thought, "I don't want to risk your job," I laughed, "What?"

   "You mean the office?  Why do you think it's soundproofed?  I can't
leave you in there alone, but supervised...  Everyone uses it, even the
owner, his wife," and boyfriends.  Or dates, he doesn't really have
boyfriends.

   "You're not going to..."

   Uh!  "Get off?" I guessed, "Sure, at some point.  I don't rush, or I
don't like to because it pays off better in the end.  Things like that,
back in the office happen, but I really prefer to enjoy it as much as
possible, and make it last."

   "Well that was fine."

   "Right, but that was sex.  With that out of the way, we can work on
friendship, romance," lovers.  I already know I can love her, and look
forward to seeing how much.  I stopped trying to understand ages ago.

   We went back in, "You mind if I write?" At some point.  I didn't prepare
anything for Lesbianism 101, nor record it, but she took notes.  "Now I'm
not gonna tell you how to be a Lesbian, but in my experience it helps to
clean out your closet first.  Turn on the lights, figure where the walls
are, open the door, air it out," I fanned the office to spread it around a
bit, "Maybe see about decorating, and remodeling on down the road." You
know, the Talk?  "Now, you're what some of us call a lipstick femme.  For
instance, however have you ever given any thought to how much of that is
about the image of you projected all around you?" Okay, look of utter
incomprehension.  "I like your look, it's not really for me anyway, but
this," eye drop "Is a statement, and at some point you decide what you want
to say."

   "So what are you saying?" Self conscious, kind of the idea.  I hate to
do it, but kind of have to.

   "Don't answer those questions, ask yourself." I chucked my head at the
pillar.  "That one's got a mirror," I grabbed the clip-board, and printed
up the Inventory.  Assuming nothing just grew legs, and walked off, there's
the bars beside the doorway, and devices on most of it, but that's no
guarantee.  Work...

   Lynne {F...F NS.} [Gary Numan - Hybrid (Album)]

   "Hmm," [Lesbian Makeover] I need to stop shaving.  Really want to tackle
her, and drag her back into the office, I haven't seen enough, but that's
not the question.  How often do we really look at ourselves?  Okay, no
lipstick.  Kinda planned on kissing, why did I smoke?  "Huh!" Hair.  Too
long.  Okay, it's not winter yet, so probably don't hack it all off, but I
know it's there.  Hid in it for years.  Now, my face is me.  When I look at
me, there I am, I don't really know another face as I.  "Huh!" Why don't
people do this?  Denial, whatever.  Body, I don't know.  She's right, I'm
not attracted to it.  Wish I had more hips, less thighs, belly, more chest,
thinner arms, legs, "Huh!" Winter doesn't help, too many clothes, take off
my jacket.

   "You let me get done with all this inventory shit, and I'll cut your
hair," she sighs, and picks up the box knife.  I look down, untwist my
finger from the ends.

   "You cut hair?"

   "I can," she shrugs, and starts stacking something on something.  Behind
the counter.  "Can't ever cut it any longer." I guess, look back.  "You
like bangs?"

   "Do you?"

   "I love your eyes."

   I moved my hair, "Why?" There's nothing there.

   "They're beautiful.  I don't know, I think you have great eyes." She
stood up.  "I'd take off the damage, at least."

   "What damage?"

   "What do you think that does to your hair?" She twirls her fingers in
front of her shoulder, so I let go again.  "Sorry, but split ends tend to
run."

   "I know," look back, "You're right, they are getting pretty wrecked."

   "Most of it is below the jawline, though, so we don't have to slash, and
burn.  What'd you come up with?" She split the bottom of the box.

   "Um," I looked back, "You're so," at myself.

   "Butch?"

   "Yeah," more of that.  She likes my legs, though.  "More butch." Nobody
else in the store, so I fan up my skirt.  "You going to be a few hours?"
She nods.  "I'll come back."

   Stu' [Numan - Torn (Hybrid)...]

   Ding!  "Ooh!" She found herself, did a little twirl.  "I like the vest!"
Shopper!  "What did you do to your hair?" A little corset/bodice action
going on there, with the vest, and her figure.  I rather liked it.

   "Told them to cut out the damage," she petted under it.  They evened it
out, "saved you the bangs." Looked like a metal mop.

   "Well I knocked everything out but the printout, and the count." out. 
Grab the scissors from the pen can.  Don't leave them there all the time,
but found them.  "Here," I moved a couple stands, and set down the stool.
"I like to start at the bottom," snip, "Snph, and what do you use?" Ooh,
suede!

   "Floral Pools." Hm!

   Drop it, "Just take a little off, look at it," pull the hand mirror out
of my back pocket, and come around front.  "Here," start just below the
eyebrows, pull out a few strands of waves, and pull them out.  Work my way
over.  "There you are." turn and bend down.  Just a peck.  Hand her the
mirror.  Work my way around the jawline, or just below.  I need a better
comb, but they don't line up, this low.  Above her earlobe.  Pierced, but
just the empty hole.  A little dandruff?

   "What do you see?"

   I kissed her soft lobe.  "Mh?" Bit my lip.  Me, an undisclosed number of
years before, "You, or as much of you as I've seen so far." When all this
was still new, and wonderful.  Roll my eyes, "You've got great
cheeks/bones." Brush some unruly curves out of the way.  I like curves,
when they don't get in the way."

   "Whaha!?" she laughs.

   "See," I stood back, "We're not fat.  We're wymyn, we have fat, but as
long as it doesn't get in the way." She looks confused.  "I love wymyn, in
all our splendid variety.  We're unique, and all this sprucing up is just a
matter of figuring out what gets in the way of your beauty." I pulled a
frazzled lock they partially missed, and snipped it off.  "Tell me when to
stop," I started working my way around again.

   "And what to add?" she looked me over, good.  Okay, I braved a little
more of the cold, the last few days, hoping she'd come back before friday.

   "I went out with an artist," close around the ear, "Hold still.  Huh! 
Those relationships are, intense," look back, SNIP!  "She did most of my
ink," I showed her my arm.

   "Is that Rozey the Riviter?"

   "Actually, it's [We Can Do It!] Rozie's a different one of the same
era."

   "I looked up Main, in French, I still don't get it."

   "It's pronounced 'Man'." approximately, "As in Main Gauche." I might
just ending up with where it starts to wave...  "Some of us, especially
back in the nineties, early ohs had these ideas about changing the
language, hyperfeminized english, so we didn't say anything with Man in
it," except Manipulative...  "So, I eventually decided it was silly, and
this was my subtle little protest."

   "And the dagger?"

   "It's phallic," ment I liked to fuck, with this hand.

   "But you wear your keys on your left hip."

   "Huh!" She had done her research.  "And I like to be tied up, sometimes.
It's fun!  What about you?" I draw the line at bandanas.

   "Never tried it."

   "Well I ment more along the lines of fantasies.  Okay, one of the things
I like to avoid starting out is projecting my fantasies on you, so what can
you tell me?" And this hair wasn't just jumping off while I do most of the
talking.  She shrugged, so I held off, repositioned, and snipped.

   "Huh, I don't know.  I guess I always, thought about girls, but had no
idea what I wanted to do with one.  It's like picking a tattoo, or a
haircut." She's fashion challenged, just absolutely no talent in that area,
or creativity.  Which must be why she came off so plain Jane on first
impression.  "What do you want to do?"

   "Strip you down and lick every square inch of you," oh, and I'm pretty
oral.  "but we've still got hours before anyone shows up."

   "Well this looks okay," she turns, and pans the mirror around.

   "The back needs work, but we can take a break." Shrug, follow her
through the displays, around the side of the counter.

   She looks over, "The camera can't see in here?" she turns, and backs
into the office.  I shake my head, and don't add that the door blocks the
front door as well, and may have some unrated bullet resistance.  It's not
a great neighborhood.

   "What are you thinking?" I'm grinning about as wide as I can.  She's
unbuttoning the vest.  They press together a little with her shrug, "Well,
as long as one of us has to work, you can see more of what you're getting
into..." I go back for the stool.  "How old is that dagger tattoo?"

   "Huhaha, you watched the movie." Waiting for that shoe to drop.

   "You're a pornstar?"

   "Nah," I waved, stopped, set down the stool.  "It's an amateur outfit,
send in your tapes.  If they're good enough they'd buy it off you, they
kept the rights." I was young, I needed the money.  "Yeah, it's one of my
first." Tattoos.  BTW, she had her shirt off, and it didn't take long to
get out of that bra.  Have a seat, I can reach out, and swing the door shut
if anyone comes in.  "Can you dance?"

   [And One - Get You Closer (1998 Single)]

   Not really, but so young.  As if gravity hadn't been invented yet, okay
not completely devoid of sag, but you had to look for it.  Hips,
alternating up, and down, skirt swinging over those thighs, possibly
rubbing together in there somewhere.  She can probably learn.  Get out a
cigarette.  "Why do you smoke outside?" Perfectly normal question, for a
strip-show.

   Blow it out my nose, "It goes stale, in here.  I don't like to build it
up, it dissipates better outside." Back to folders, scroll down...  Look
up, click.  Skirt coming down...  Blindly scroll, back click.  [IAMX -
Bernadette (Volatile Times)] [Play next...] [Sneaker Pimps - Flowers, and
Silence (Splinter)]...

   Okay, she's young, and she's interested in me.  Whatever else she's
hiding in there, I'll enjoy bringing it out.  "I want to see all of your
tattoos.  Do they all have meaning?"

   "Most of them have a story behind them." Most of them a girl's story.

   "God, this feels so sexy!" she looked back down, and grinned.

   I leered, "Looks sexy, too." No hair.  Stubble, so that might change, I
can put up with rugburn for one night.  Completely nude, and sitting down
since the declaration on high.  I wanted to feel how sexy too.  I can only
build up so much sexual anticipation before diminishing returns, and I'm
not so sure how long I've been past the point of no further effect, but I
was committed now.  "Now you've driven me insane!" She giggles.  "God, I
want to rrravage you!"

   DING!  Perfect timing, I reached out, and didn't quite slam it.

   He sniffs, chuckles, I reach back, and tuck my shirt behind the grip of
my pistol turning around.  I told you, it's not a great neighborhood.  He
keeps his eyes to himself, so I catch my breath, and drop it on the shelf
under the register.

   [Portishead - Machine Gun (3)] Crank it pretty loud, until he's gone.

   Lynne {FF Saph...}

   "Let's play Waldo." She had an apartment, walk up, didn't pay attention.
My eyes were busy.  "Just do what I do." She undid her belt.

   "I know what you said, but," I got my skirt off, "You mind if I dive
right in?"

   "Feet first," she nodded.

   "Why?"

   "So you can breathe." I laughed, too.  "Get on the bed." There may have
been a trail of clothing strewn back up the hall, and in front of the door,
but I missed most of it.  Birds, and symbols, and writing, I felt like an
archeologist working on her first mummy.

   "Here," I got my arm around, and felt for the clasp.  We stopped, got
them all out, and threw them aside.

   "I like your underwear," she leaned back, and reached for hers, "But I
can appreciate it later." Hairy legs, "I can shave them a lot faster than I
can grow them out.  You wanna chase me around the shower first?" I shook my
head, but there she was.  I've seen pictures, but not even mine up close.
"Waldo."

   "Who?"

   "Sorry, a robot, actually.  Never mind, now you can just do what I do,"
her hand moved down, "And I'll show you," and I felt her other one,
touching me.  She let her head down, on my leg, so I did too, and looked
over, at her hand.  "Go on," I put my hands over hers, but then she pulled
hers out, and pressed mine against her.  "Now," she pressed her fingers in,
mine into her, and hers into me.  Pulling her hands back, she kissed me.  I
kissed her back.  I've checked me out, and seen others in movies, but she
had more.  Everything I had, only more, and it looked like some extras like
the triangles sticking out, so I kissed them, and let them slip out between
my lips.  "We don't have to mimic each other, and there's always some lag,
mh!" I kissed her again, deeper this time, so she shut up, and stuck her
tongue in me.  I don't have the ear ring in the tip like her, either.  I've
seen it before, none of the others could talk as well, but no telling how
long she had it.  Wow, now I get it!

   I giggled.  "I can't feel everything you do down there, let alone do
it."

   "Right," she licked her lips, "Waldo again." She touched me, and I
humped a little before I tried to.

   "Like this?" I tapped in the patch of curls she had in front.  She did
that in the diner, on the counter, I shivered, and started tapping the
other way.

   "Uh," I moved her fingers, and tried it.  "Uh!" That felt pretty damned
good!

   I'll think of what came next as a fingerbang Lab, because that's what it
felt like.  Silent, had my eyes closed most of the time, but learned a lot.
How to cross the index finger under the longest, then uncross them once
inside.  Longest still bent, she fucked it straight a couple times to
demonstrate, then crossed them again to twist, and wiggle into the next
knuckles.

   And how that felt.

   "Now," I hunched again, so she licked my clit again, so I licked hers. I
don't know if I did it the exact same way, she didn't hump like my hips
kept doing, all "huh!"

   I pulled back to rub my 3 middle fingertips in, and right away she did
it too.  Bunched together in a triangle, I took another breath, and bent
down to kiss her again.  Deep, I don't know who led, or when I stopped, but
she showed me a lot more stuff, and I tried to remember as many as I could.


   "Hah!" her fingertip stopped moving in me, so I held still.  "Huh, now
eventually I'll need some good steady stimulation," her finger moved,
"Yeah, and," she bent over.  I tried, but I could actually suck her clit
in, and she seemed to like it, and I got off like 3 times already today and
she was feeling in 2 more fingers in the side, so I let go, and looked. 
Her lips split open, I couldn't even see the curls around them through the
wings thick, and warm now, and that's her thumb on my clit, so, "Nyh!"
Faster, not too fast, pace her...

   "God!" this feels good.

   "Yeah, yeaaaAH!" She gasped, panted, and gasped some more.  I held still
too, then felt around when things started moving?  Waves, I think, I could
feel where, but deeper, my fingers aren't that long.  "Hohohoah!" She
panted, and sat up, so I curled my fingers out.  Or, they both happened at
the same time.  "Huh Huh!  huh." she panted some more.  "Aww," kissed me,
and felt my neck, Under my hair.  "Now we should probably get that shower,"
she got up.

   I followed her, "What were you saying about every inch of my body?"
Hers, I don't know, maybe it's like her hair, and tattoos, and studs, she
doesn't have ear rings, just posts with balls on the end, but some of them
are bent.  But they just make her girliness stand out.  Somehow, they make
her prettier.  Even prettier.

   Stuart {FF Saph...}

   No, I don't play music, who needs the distraction?  Had it done before,
sometimes it was fun.  Big shower, I insisted.  Rent's not actually all
that bad.  Quick piss, no idea how long I held that.  "Well let's get clean
first.  Not too clean," just gonna get dirty again!  And yeah, I took a few
days off.  Weeks, really, but then not even playing with myself in
anticipation.  Not the most mindblowing orgasm in my life, but well worth
it.  "Huh!" She looks nothing like me, but god that body looks so familiar.
Time, she still had a fairly high pear, not much hips under it.  Turn her
around.

   "oh!" she jumped at the goose.

   "Every inch," I turned sideways, and caught what was left of the streams
of droplets.

   "Really?"

   "Have you tried it?"

   "No?"

   "Well, then decide." I got her good and clean with my fingers first, and
spread her cheeks with my thumbs.  "Besides," she squirmed.  "Got to start
somewhere." She giggled.

   "That wasn't too bad." I rubbed her cheeks.

   "Spanking?"

   "Ah?" I didn't, but she winced, and thought about it.  "Maybe?"

   "Later," when it's unexpected, but I gave her a couple nice pats.  Nice
broad cheeks, not too flat, or saggy, thick soft stubbly thighs, and a
little tummy showing out the side of her waist.  The little triangle,
between the tops of her cheeks, and the bottom of her back.  No dimples,
shrug.  Pretty active, she doesn't appear to do too much sitting.  "Turn
around," I stood up.

   "Waldo?" She felt up my front, so I shrugged, and followed her lead.

   "I don't know what you heard, or believe'm." she felt my mouth, kissed
my fingers.

   "Sh," they moved side to side, "Shsh, sh.  Sh!" I nodded.  Good, she had
to start leading a little at some point.

   Back down to the chests, only I stopped in the middle.  Felt her heart,
and she moved a hand in to feel mine beat louder for her.  "Hh!" I turned
around, picked up the soap, lathered up my hands, and gave it to her.  She
swept her hair back, and the bangs washed back down.  I wasn't going for a
Beetles cut, with bangs, but when we got there.  It even looks femmy, and
really shows her jawline.  The nice deep gentle curve under her ear,
fingertips around the top of my neck.

   "Let's get rinsed off," turn her around.  Darker wet, wonder how it
would look black.  Not like Goth, or any other Instakit (Sykospark.net)
she's not pale enough anyway, but it even intensifies the deep dark pools
of her eyes instead of ruining their effect.  We all have beauty in us,
some of us are better at hiding it.

   "Bondage?" she turned the water off, so I pulled the curtain.

   "That's a bit advanced," hand her a towel, "But there's softcore ways to
go about it."

   "Oh yeah?"

   "We can get creative," I finished swabbing around, and scrubbed out my
hair.  She took a bit longer, so I went back to the bedroom, and reached
under the drawer to the cabinet, pulled out the yarn.  Dropped the crochet
hooks back in, pulled out a length, and snapped it off.

   "You knit?" Wrapped her hair, and everything, I pulled it off.

   "Crochet, a little." Hide it, really.  "It's also not too strong, so I
can break it, but that means it's over." Hand her the yarn, wrists already
together.  "I don't have to say anything, unless you ask."

   "Good," she backed me to the bed.

   "You can pull that tighter."

   "Sh." She frowned, and pushed me back.

   Lynne {FF...}

   Okay, so she's a nerd.  Missed it before, because she decided to nerd
out about being gay, but it seemed to work out for her.  Not really in the
mood for a lecture right now professor, and I need to learn to make her
feel that good.  I sure want to, but I can't even tell.  It would be nice
if I could feel what she does, but my hairs' almost dry before she holds my
head over her, and snaps the thread.  "What?" Lick my lips.

   "Hn," she sits up, "If I'm restrained, and silenced you pretty much have
to do everything.  Do you feel ready to do everything yet?"

   Well, when you put it like that, I shook my head.

   "You're getting better," she rolls me over, "But most girls have to
bottom for a while to learn to put me under, anyway."

   "What's that like?"

   She looks me straight in the eyes.  "I'd have to show you." Shakes her
head.

   "All right," I let my arms down, "What do I have to do?"

   "Nothing," she takes my hands, and slips softly over my leg.  Fingers
between mine, she licks the stubble on the front.

   "Hm!" I want to, I don't know what my hands wanted to do, but she held
them down.  Is that it?  Because she was just, "Hm!" Spending a lot of
extra time on that 1 inch of flesh.  Okay, now it was feeling better, and
better!  "Huh!" So maybe that's why for every inch?  She said it twice
already?  And her arms over my thighs.  I lost track of what she was doing
with her mouth where, because she was holding down my thighs?

   'The friend-zone is the end-zone,' she'd said.  And with her mouth busy,
now I guess I could think about it.  How does she do it, though?

   She licked my ass.  I don't know if it felt good, but it wasn't bad, but
why did she start there?  And my foot, I guess, she gets the dirty parts
out of the way first, or she just likes it dirty?  I like her.  Maybe
that's it, emotional arousal, that's what it feels like.  By myself, I've
got nothing, but just thinking about her.

   Her fingers tight on the backs of my hands, her tongue.  She can taste
me, loves the way I taste, lapping sideways under my breast, then turning
to the other.  "Huh!" I'm shivering a little, and burning up.  I want her
hands on me, but I can't let go.  Her body, she turns my hands over, and
makes double fists between us.  And we stink.  Taste good together, though!

   Us.  Not her, and I, nor even that Waldo game, but we crashed together,
I think my body went away.  'heheh,' I felt her breath on my face, then
moving down.

   "I"

   !

   Stu' [FF ...}

   "Yeah," she shook her head, and caught her breath, "I can't do that."
Shivering.

   I opened the window, blew out.  "You can learn, I'm just." Jaded.  Flick
off the ash.  "You want a drag?" Nails.  Not much traffic out front, can't
see under the awning.  "You don't have to inhale." Puff.  "I didn't mean
all at once.  We can shave your head so I can get your scalp later." I
rubbed her tummy.

   "I love you,"

   "Pish tosh," I laugh, "Pillow talk.  Sorry, sweety, but this is sex. 
Emotional attachments come with the territory, but we don't know each-other
well enough to be in love." Smoke on her lips, "Yet."

   "Did it hurt?" She felt over the wren on my left.

   "Hm," long blink, "There's some pain," I held up the back of my hand,
"This hurt the most, over bone.  That part of the breast isn't as
sensitive." I felt hers, and she closed her eyes, brushed my nipple/stud.
"The glands around here, especially if you've ever been pregnant, or
nursed."

   "Did you?"

   I nodded, "Husband, son, they left me.  My son sends me emails, his
father keeps unfriending me on his facebook." I have a lot of time behind
the computer at work.

   "Ah!" I rubbed her warming buttock, and hip.  "What was that for?"

   "Just a test, see how it feels." She bit her lip, and giggled.  "It's a
surprise, or best that way.  No need to get out the schoolgirl uniform,"
She covered my mouth.

   "So the butch is like the man?"

   Huh!  "Butch isn't an absolute, like 'I'm a butch'!" Muppet around my
shoulders.  "It's like taking out the curves that get in the way.  For
instance, I'm a bit of a butch bottom.  I mean I'm butch, no denying, and I
can play most roles, but if I had the choice, I'd probably lay back and
take it whenever possible."

   "But you're a dagger," she rubbed my tattoo.

   "I was, I guess I outgrew it." Another shrug, "Never got it removed, but
anyway the point being that you don't have to be a total butch, all the
time.  We're people, not some characters in a made-up story, and most of
the switches don't go all the way up to eleven anyway."

   "I don't get everything you say," she kissed me, "But I love the way you
talk." She rubbed my chest, "Nerd."

   "Haha!" That takes me back, "Yeah, and I'm pretty nerdy." My eyes don't
need glasses, but I overthink everything.  "You want to try fucking me?"
Getting off once a night is lucky for me, lately, but I can go twice.  It's
pretty easy, I just usually take longer to break out the hardware.  "And
here's how you put on a condom..."

   "Why?" I love that question.

   "Because these are a bitch to clean." You still have to wipe off the
lube of course, "That's the problem with hardware.  Nh!" A little cold,
"Stir it around to warm it up." I closed my eyes.  I wanted to look at her,
but I'd done enough to remember, and I could feel around with my hands. 
"Slohow!" I held her wrist.  "Huh!" Still pretty tight.  Tense up to get a
little blood flowing around in there.  'Hhu.' Maybe should have gone with a
smaller size.

   "You have a collection?"

   "I have a discount," Brush her lips, and fall into her neck.  Okay, I
can order them wholesale, and my boss doesn't mind.  "nh!" Just don't pound
away in there, but she feels more curious, patiently exploratory, like she
was with her fingers.  "Yah!" Just feel around.  Her heart, ooh she's warm,
and excited!

   "huh!" And grunting!  It's hard work, so I grabbed her wrist again, and
helped out.

   "Huh huh huh!" I forgot everything but sensation for a while there,
pushed the dildo out, and caught my breath.  "Much better!," pant, "What do
you think?"

   "About bondage?" She grins.

   "About," I sat up, "All you tried, so far, have you found out anything
about yourself?" That's my problem, she doesn't talk about herself, so I
have to make do with reading her.  Not a complete picture.

   "I want to top." She shakes her head, "Butch, whatever.  Huh!  I want to
make them feel good.  Women, you."

   "I'm available," shrug, "You need experience, I'll give you whatever I
have left-over, but again, this is some pretty advanced stuff.  Well, not
fucking, anyone can do that, just don't overfuck to the point of doing
damage.  Huh!" Aftershock.  "Huh, Topping isn't about dominating.  It looks
like that from the outside, but beyond knowing what to do, and how, it's
controlling yourself, and following the sub's lead.  No really, the bottom
runs the scene, when it goes right.  You got it, though.  The butch's role
is all about Her, not you."

   She just nods.

   "Huh!  You mind sleeping on the couch?  I'm sorry, I can't sleep with
anyone, it gets distractingly uncomfortable at some point, and I really
need some sleep right now."

   She closed the door.  Or a drink, sigh, breathe.  I'm exhausted, but I
haven't found the on/off switch for my mind yet, how to pull the plug.

   She's a carte blanche.  A blank slate, but not a flat canvass.  She has
curves to work around, but if she's going to make that butch, she's going
to have to learn seduction.  Shopping, start with shopping, I don't have
room to save skinny clothes, and she doesn't have my hips anyway.  Skirts,
she needs skirts, so put chasing her around the changing rooms on the to-do
list,

   tomorrow.

   .

   .

   In Store [Placebo - Nancy Boy(Placebo)]

   'not pale enough for black,' I assume to herself.  She had the weekend
off, and I guess I didn't pay attention to sleep for, a period of time
which would require math to calculate.  "Do you tan, or burn?" She held out
a bra/panty set on a hanger.

   "Uh," It was day, the stores were open.  "Both?" Hadn't gotten much sun
lately.

   "Well, you have enough red in your complection for green," she held it
up to my arm, and dropped in in a basket.  "You have money for this?"

   "Some,"

   "Just one outfit," she moved around to the clothes.  The discount rack.
"You're not a talker, which means playing the silent type.  Strength really
helps, and you need Presence, otherwise you'll go unnoticed." She's
charming, and funny, and can talk about anything, in great detail.  That
would probably make it easier.  "What kind of girl would you look for?"

   "I don't know," thought about it enough, "A girl.  Femmy?" Nod, "Huh,
pretty.  I don't fucking know, I'll know her when I see her." Worked last
time.

   "Don't care about age?" Shake my head.

   "Older."

   "Some girls start out liking older women, then grow to women that like
younger girls." She would know, "Huh, you'll figure it out, I'm not saying
that's a norm, but it's not rare." She holds up, and picks articles of
clothing.

   "Skirts," I notice, "I like that red top.  No that one." Spaghetti
straps.  The darker one, though.  The changing room is smaller than the
bathroom at the sex-store.  1 person, barely enough to get changed, she
hands me the underwear.  Clean, we bathed, but.  Yeah, these are probably
keepers.  Mirror down to the little bench, but too close honestly.

   "Try these first," a skirt, and the red top.  Just a brown skirt, loose,
especially out at the hem.  Quite a bit higher than I usually wear, this
late into the fall, but god the underwear looks good.  She peeks around the
curtain, then lets it fall back real quick.

   Wow, especially when I blush, and my ears twitch rapidly with my pulse.
"Huh!" Try them on, "Yeah, they fit," then right back off.  I bet I could
frig myself in here, though it'd stink up the store eventually.  "Huh!"
Maybe a little pat, and rub, through the underwear.

   "How about these?" Try them on.

   "Okay, yeah they fit." Check the labels, cheapest set.  "I need to get
them home." Pretend to check my watch, and run them to the counter.  Pull
off the tags right in front of the cashiers.  He sighs, rolls his eyes, I
wonder if she knows anyone straight?  Line up the bra, and spaghetti
straps.

   "Yeah, the clothes are probably going straight for the floor as soon as
we get alone." Safely, I guess, I can't strip down, and drive at the same
time.  "You'll need one, if you ever want to fly solo, but some more
practice first won't hurt anything." I sniff, don't really smell much. 
"You mind if I smoke?"

   Pretty warm day, "Roll down the window." Windy.  Oh yeah, there's a
whole world out there, too.  This is intense, but I guess that's why
they're called crash courses.  Nothing better to do on the weekends."

   She nods, "What're you taking?"

   "Prerequisites," also a college student, during the week.  "I took some
time off, after high school.  Partying, closeted."

   "Yaddagyadiga." Or something like that.  "Community college?  That
usually bars you from 4 year colleges, without knocking out the prereqs." I
nodded, "Try the women's Hystery class, with a Y.  Or another, H.  Y. 
S..."

   "Uhuh?" Already know, taught by a lesbian.  "You know Doctor Morgan?"

   "Met her, couple of times, at parties." she remembered.  "Well, a party,
and a munch.  Never done me."

   "Me too," not the kind of womon with a lot of time.  "Maybe next
semester." She also handpicks her students.  Femmy, though.

   "Way outta your league."

   "I know," shrug, "But I can dream." More like a kilt, not black, but
dark grey, makes the top, and the underwear look more, I think saturated is
the word?  I know nothing about fashion, I can tell when something looks
good, but I never made it.  I drove home, it's not a dorm room, I have it
to myself, but there's little enough room for the bed.  "I literally have
no closet," it's all in bags, and baskets, if I had a dresser, it wouldn't
open.  "We share the bathroom, there's a shower." Used to be someone's
house, near campus, "Same with the kitchen." Not really set up for
students. "Not like a soority, or anything."

   "Wow," I kicked the dirty bag up on the basket so she could come in, and
close the door.

   "We need to be quiet," I didn't whisper, there was music playing in
another room, but she was grinning.  [Bauhaus - The Passion of Lovers
(Mask)]

   "Here," she bit both lips together, and took my arms by both wrists.  I
nodded but she put them on her shoulders, and fell back against the door.
Completely relaxed, but I think she hit her head?  Her grip was tight on my
wrists, so I'm not sure who was, supposed to do what to whom, but she shook
my hands on her shoulders.  Eyes closed, so I felt down her arms, and
kissed her.

   "Hm!" She grunted against my mouth, and her arms fell, from my elbows,
jerking limply in my grip.

   Okay, I can do this.  No, I can Do this!  'Hhuh!' Bat at the tiny stud,
embedded in her tongue.  Mouth wide open, trying to breathe, so I let go,
feel over her heart, and down her front.  Belt buckle.  Shake it until the
little hook pops out, and get my hand down her pants.  "Huh!" Her heart is
pounding fast, too fast to fake, so I put my hand up, over her mouth, and
push my hand down the waistband of her boxer shorts.

   "Hm!" Her eyes tighten.  "Hhn," then relax.  I almost tried to hold her
up.  Her, this is about her.  She needs strength, power, to be taken. 
Yeah, I can do this.  The curls snap back, out from under my fingertips,
and I go deep.  Between her legs, dab in, she's not wet, but bloated, and
hot.  Wiggle around my ring, and pointer to trap, and pinch her little
triangular folds.  They slip out.

   "Uh!"

   A little pat.  All over her neck, not even thinking about what I'm doing
with my mouth, and nose, and breath, just the smell of her, and the warmth
of her flesh.  The salt in her sweat.  Now I get it, better get started. 
She doesn't get hard, just more bloated, firm, not quite as soft but.

   "Uhn!" she holds her breath, and humps my fingertips.  Both hands tight
on my arm, she just holds it still, so I move my hand, and kiss her.  The
door rattles, and even though it's not a headboard, someone's going to
recognize that rhythm eventually.  Twist my hand, grip the waist of her
jeans, and turn her, back toward the bed.

   No footboard, barely a frame, with the castors taken off, and the metal
legs planted in the holes they drilled in the hardwood.  Button...  Pull
her up, get them down, "Fucking boxers!" Boots, too.  She giggles, and
slips them down.  My ears twitching, so hot, fuck my clothes, just grab her
knees, take a deep breath, and dive in, face first.

   I overthink things.  Or I used to, I need to stop.  She's turned on, so
turned on it doesn't really matter what I do, or how well, so I go for the
sampler.  She needs more lube, and my mouth is right there, but spread it
around, and okay, I get it.  There are subtle differences in flavor between
say the very opening of her love tunnel, and pubes.

   "Oh!" Hands, head, yes!  Plenty of clit, but I've got more tongue, so
spread it around, dig down under it, find, and taste the pisshole.  Every
inch, fuck it, dive down, and pull out the bottom of her cheeks with my
thumbs, and her heels slide up my back.  It doesn't smell bad.  Okay, it
stinks, but it's pretty nice for a stink.  Is my tongue long enough? 
'nhm!' Yup!  Don't really taste anything, sweat salt, even rolling it
around in my spit to rinse it off.  I have a lot of spit, and she's got a
whole lot of body.

   Thighs.  Okay, cottage cheese fat might look like shit, but you know? 
It feels pretty interesting.  And she's ticklish inside the thighs.  Too.
She's a woman.  A WO/main.  I may not know them as well as her, but I can
learn.  Ooh, kneepit.  Byegones.  She giggles.  "Yeah," I can do this.  I'm
finally doing this!

   n|m

   "Huh!" Her tummy jiggles, which sets her chest off, and god, she's red.
I have to stand up, but not at the foot of the bed, so I switch hands, and
come around the side.  Her neck is so hot, but I can feel her adams apple
with my lips if I press hard enough, and it's really salty in the dimple
next to it.  She's humping my fingers, well three of them, but I have
another hand, so I kiss her shoulder, pull her arm up, and lap the fragrant
hair under there.

   "Huh!" Gawwwwd!  "Snh!  nlack!" Sweet jesus in the mornin' why did I
almost get off on that?

   "No, don't stop!" I didn't, but I hesitated, waiting for it.  Ooh, an
nipple!  The pierced one, I'd ask about it later, but right now I'm busy
playing with it.  Just a fingertip, kind of sucktion cupped in her.  Just
the outside, but she kissed at it.  Or her pussy did, I don't think she was
doing it on purpose.  Well she probably could, add that to the list.  Pinch
her lips around it, more wet skin, sucking, I could hear it.  Her nipple
popped back, but she scratched my back, right over my ribs, and goose bumps
popped out on my shoulder.  Just on that side.  Still had my bra, and top
on.

   Yeah, this is what I want.  I had to put my hand over her mouth again,
when I had 3 fingers in her.

   Stu {FF...}

   "Yeah," I shuddered, and rocked my head in my hands, "You're learning."
Laugh.  "Huh!" Tears, I cried.  I came so hard I wept.  "Snh!" Not the
first time, hopefully not the last, but still.

   "You can smoke in here." Oh thank god!

   "I might need to use that shower," I stretched out, so she stood up. 
"Mmmmmh!" Stretch the other way, popped my neck.  Pull my shirt down, I'd
fix my bra, and pull up my pants, when I could.  "Huh!" Fully clothed, just
looking down at me, watching, smiling.

   She pulled up my shorts, and pants, so I rolled away, and lifted my hip.
She got on with me, I had to scooch to the wall, but she didn't fall off. I
shivered a little, she kissed my neck.  It felt like love, usually does
when it's so intense.  Wait and see, but I felt as if I had finally met
her. The real her that was hiding inside, finally dug her out of the back
of her closet.  "Humh," It wasn't seeing where she lived, though it reeks
of her in here, and I can finally breathe through my nose.

   "Why does that feel like a test?"

   "You passed," I hugged her arms around me.  "Doesn't have to be the
final, I just.  Love this part, when we get past the insecurity, and you
break through to some confidence."

   "I do feel more confident!" I can hear her almost laughing behind me. 
"And sexy, you made me feel sexy.  But god, I see why you didn't, you
couldn't tell me."

   "Yeah," sometimes getting someone off satisfies, more so than even an
orgasm.  I'd felt it with her, but now I'd shown her.

   "I overthought.  Huh, I thought there was some trick, or secret
handshake."

   "Passion," I nodded, "I can feel it too.  You just, evoked passion, or
whatever.  That's better than any look, or line, or bedroom trick.  That's
my kink, that's what I need, or this is.  Without passion, it's practically
masturbation." Her fingers found my lips, and I sighed against them. 
Greatnow I'm gonna have that song stuck in my head, when i look at her,
think about her.  Our first time, damned goth neighbors!

   "Mhm?"

   And she found my weakness.  I don't know when I started just talking
until she silenced me.  "Mwen you put your hand over my mouth," I told her
fingers, "That's when I was yours." To do whatever she wants with.

   "Hm!" into her palm, it took her a little fumbling to unhook my bra
through the shirt.

   ;

   {Continuity Notes: This is a mnemonic flashback for Ruth Elisabeth
Cannon, to college.  And fictionalized, because she Is denial, symbolically
in my mind.  She lies to herself, which is why it's so idealized.  But
yeah, she had a fling with a Molly (AKA "Stuart.") She has a thing for
abusive women, especially Morions.}