Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 That's PedoGirlLover@Gmail.com for the inspiration.  Used With permission
this time, just check her out on Leslita if you like long believable
romantic stories which focus more on what the girls are feeling than the
sex scene, and bra size.  What I strove for here.

   It starts a little creepy, so the Trigger Code Somn means sexual assault
of a sleeping, or otherwise unconscious victim.  However, there's also a
little greyscale here, and also some Stalking with romantic ideation.  Not
to mention flashbacks to Maternal Ephebophilic Molestation.

   ;

   Kimberly

   I was orphaned.  My parents went out, drinking, and didn't make it back.
So, I wound up in an orphanage, sad, heartbroken, homesick, and didn't know
what to do.  I was in this new place, I didn't know anyone, and it was
worse than the first day of school.  Worst of all, I knew I couldn't go
home, this was my new home now, and I would never see my mom and dad again.
They couldn't hug me, and dry my tears, and make it feel all right, because
it wasn't.  They were gone, and I would never see them again.

   So, I eventually cried myself asleep.  I woke up, and it was dark, but
someone climbed into my bed.  I couldn't see who, but all she said was
'sh.' Real quiet, but I hugged her.  At first, it was just nice to have
someone to hug.  She didn't stop there, I started falling back asleep, but
then she started moving her hand.  First on my arm, I could feel her breath
on my face in the dark, and I breathed back.  Then, she kissed me.  I
didn't know what was happening, beyond her kissing me, it was the girl's
dorm, so it had to be another girl, but then I felt something else.

   Her chest, on my belly.  It didn't feel right, like my mother's breasts,
and I missed her, but it didn't feel like another little girl's chest, and
the way her leg came up, over mine.  She rubbed my legs with it, but I
could tell she was taller from that too.  An older girl, kissing me, and
not like my mother at all.  She moved my arm next, and put my hand on the
side of her chest.  That not only confirmed that she had a sort of small
breast, but also that she was naked.  "Hh!" And very warm.  "Uhn!" She
turned her head, and kissed me harder, sticking her tongue in my mouth. 
"Snh!"

   I heard of child molesters, but first of all, they were men.  Bad men,
and they didn't say anything about how one actually molests a child.  Just
vague things like touch you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable.  She
just rubbed my legs with hers, and felt my arm, and put my hand on her
chest.  It felt weird, but not, uncomfortable.  I liked having someone with
me, instead of feeling alone.  She hugged me, and kissed me, so I thought
she loved me, and I was 8.  I knew nothing about sex.  Hugs and kisses were
for mom and dad, so I thought, I suppose that she was like my mommy. 
Kissing me, and I felt better.  I pushed the covers off, because it was
hot, and sweaty, but other than that, it was a comfort.

   I wasn't scared, a little confused, this was all new, and unfamiliar,
but so was the entire orphanage.  All I knew was there was someone there,
holding me, kissing me, and licking around in my mouth.  She felt my teeth,
I lost a few, and she licked in between them, I was most aware of her
tongue in my mouth, and her quiet breathless moaning, in my mouth.  She
tried to keep it down, but then she shivered.

   I was not aware of where her other hand was, I didn't really think about
it, but in retrospect.  With a more mature perspective, I can guess, but
she didn't touch me "There." She didn't try to, she didn't even take off,
nor feel inside any of my clothes.  She mostly just kissed me, felt my arm,
and rubbed her leg over mine.  I can only assume she played with herself,
but when she started shivering, I pulled the covers back up, because I
thought she was cold.

   I think I fell asleep.  I don't know, I just remember that when I woke
up, the first morning in the dorm, it was bright, and I was alone in bed. I
considered the thought that I'd dreamed it.  Out of loneliness, but of
course a girl that young doesn't fantasize being molested, when I had no
concepts of that with which to form such a fantasy.  It did happen, and I
missed her.  In the morning, I hugged my pillow, and wished she was there,
so I could see her face, and thank her for comforting me in the night.  I
did have a dream, a nightmare, and she made me feel better, not
uncomfortable.  So, I'd say that's why I didn't realize, right away I was
molested.

   It didn't happen again.  Not like that, I missed her, I wanted her to
come back, and sleep with me.  Even thought about her kissing me again,
rubbing my arm, and my legs together, the way she did.  I thought about her
breast, and I started looking.  Of course, all the older girls had clothes
on, the same ones, uniforms, and I didn't see it.  I felt it, I had some
idea of it's size, and shape.  Sideways, under the covers, then in the
night air after I pulled them back.  I supposed sneaking through the dorm,
naked, between the beds to get in the new girl's.  Mine, to molest the new
orphan, still confused, depressed, and lonely.

   Then, in the shower.  Group shower, but not enough heads for all of us.
In the back of the dorm, with the toilets, and the mirrors.  It's a dorm,
we lined up to shower the night before too, that was part of the schedule.
If she was there, she covered them up.  Her small breasts, with a towel, I
would think.  Most of the older girls did, but after a while I gave up
trying to find her, by that.  I can't say whether I would recognize them on
sight, from just feeling them.  Half awake, wondering at the weird dream,
thankful that it wasn't a nitemare, or that nitemare was over, and
comforted by her just being there, but then I remembered something else.

   Lying in bed, trying to sleep, lonely, and hugging another pillow I
stole.  To have something to hug, between my legs until it warmed up,
rubbing my arm with one hand, and the side of my thigh with the other one.
Her smell, I smelled her breath, and her hair.  The same shampoo, we all
wear the same shampoo, and we all shower before bed, but it was the middle
of the night, and it smelled like her.  Too, her hair, it doesn't smell
like my hair, but I felt it, on my cheek.  Over my mouth, and my nose,
against the pillow, I nuzzled, and smelled it, until I didn't feel so
lonely, and fell back asleep.  I dreamed about her, doing it again, but I
woke up, and it was just a dream.

   It was dark, but a little light came in, through the tall windows, and
it was cold.  Well, chilly when I got out from under the covers, but I had
to pee.  So, I got up, and walked back to the shower room in my socks.  I
remembered her hair, how it smelled, it was just last night, so I bet I
could tell if I smelled it again, so I got up, flushed, and went back out
to the girls, snoring in bed.  Lets see, she's an older girl, so over in
that corner, I went from bed to bed, smelling their hair, until one woke
up.

   "Huhn?  What are you doing!?" I got scared, and ran, before the woman
came, and turned on the lights, but everyone woke up, and was talking, a
lot of us went to the bathroom, so I hid in there, until the ruckus died
down.  That was close, but they didn't find out who it was.  I guess one of
the nice things about it being dark is nobody can see who you are, but that
made it harder to find her.

   So, I waited until morning.  We all went out, Lined up, and I raised my
hand in the hall.  "What is it.  Uhm, miss?" She didn't know my name yet.

   "I need to use the restroom."

   "Well, make it quick, and meet us in the Cafeteria."

   We just got up, the pillows were still warm even, so I could smell it.
Her hair, on the pillowcase.  "Snhhh!" Yes, that was her.  6th bed over
from the end.  I still didn't know what she looked like, but now I knew
what bed she sleeps in, in case I wake up, and feel lonely at night.

   I didn't, that night.  I slept right through, dreaming of her, and I
guess all this helped.  The mystery, the comforting memory, thinking about
how to find her by the shape of her breast and then the smell of her hair.
It distracted me, but also I just didn't feel as lonely.  I didn't know
anyone there, but I knew there was someone, in the dorm, and I only had to
think about her tongue.  In my mouth, feeling between my teeth like she
had, and sigh.

   I missed her, but that made me miss my parents a little less, and it
gave me something to think about instead.  So, when the sun shown in the
tall windows, high enough to wake me up, I just looked.  Snuggled tighter
in the warm blankets, with the cold morning air on my cheeks, and counted
over, 6 beds from the end.  She sat up, stretched in a white tank top, but
she didn't have a bra on, and I saw them.

   Her pointed little breasts, even her nipples stood out, her brown hair
shining in the sun, and her face, when she finished yawning.  Not a pretty
face, by any stretch of the imagination.  I hate to say it, but she was
king of gawky, with a big nose, blinking, and reaching for a pair of
glasses from the footlocker next to the bed.  A glass of water, swishing it
around in her puffed up cheeks.

   I hugged the pillow a little tighter, and sighed.  I didn't care, she
could be the ugliest girl in the world.  She got up, and walked back
between the beds.  To the restrooms, I turned over to watch her, big bare
feet flapping on the hardwood floor, baggy shorts hanging from her hips,
reaching back to scratch herself, and pulling open the door to disappear.

   It was too late, I was already in love.  Yes, she also molested me, and
took advantage of my depressive loneliness, but it wasn't her fault.  Not
to mention it worked, I fell in love with her, and stalked her, rather than
be crushed by everything in my life being taken away, and replaced by that
place.

   Then I saw her, walk around behind the corner from the playground.  I
followed her, of course.  Caught her smoking a cigarette.  "You smoke?"
Again, I don't care, she could drown a bag full of puppies right in front
of me, and I probably would still love her, but it broke the ice.

   "So?" Surley, too.

   "So, where'd you get cigarettes?"

   "I stole it, you want a drag?" I wrinkled my nose, and shook my head. 
"Suit yourself," She took another drag.  "You're the new girl, um."

   "Kimberly," I nodded, "What's your name?"

   "Judith."

   "I'm 8." Just to get that out of the way.  "How old are you?"

   "Uh!  Look, I know you're looking for friends here, but.  I'm not really
a friends kind of person, all right?"

   "Why did you kiss me?" Then.

   "What?"

   "My first night, why did you get in my bed, and kiss me?"

   She closed her eyes, "Huh." Took a deep breath, and shook her head.  "I
don't," she looked up, "Know what you're talking about."

   "You did, I know it was you."

   "Well, was that you last night, that woke up the whole dorm?"

   "Yeah, so why did you do that?"

   "I don't know," she shrugged, "I sleepwalk sometimes, and that was my
old bed."

   I nodded, "Okay?"

   "So, I guess I went back to the wrong bed, by mistake."

   "Okay?  Then, why did you kiss me?"

   "I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was doing."

   "Well," I swung back and forth, "It's okay.  I didn't mind."

   "Well, it was wrong."

   "Okay, but." I smiled, "You are a great kisser."

   "Yeah?" she shook her head, "Well, what do you know?" She stomped off.

   "Huh!" I was just happy, that I got to talk to her.  She dropped the
butt, so I picked it up, and kept it.  To remember the first time, I got to
talk to her.  I wanted to kiss her again, and I dreamed about that.  Her
walking up.

   "Yeah?" Bending down, and maybe lifting my face, up under my chin.

   It made me feel a little less lonely, but then I couldn't sleep.  Again,
in the dark dorm, with all the snoring girls, but alone in the cot.  I
don't know how late it was, but I got up.  Went to her bed, and listened to
her snore.  Smelled her hair first, and felt it.  Picked it up, and felt it
on my face, then I kissed her cheek.  Felt the pimples on it first with my
lips, then my fingers.  The back of my fingers, then down her neck.  Her
shirt over her shoulder, and her back in the dark.

   She slept face down, and I hoped at any moment she would wake up.  Smile
in the dark, I saw her smile a little, when I said she was a great kisser.
For a moment, her frown went away, and she smiled to herself, then the
sourpuss came back, she got mad and pushed me out of the way.  Once again,
I wished I could see her face.  A little, in the starlight from the window,
but not enough to make out her expression.  How her face looked relaxed,
sleeping, without the usual scowl I had gotten used to that very day.

   It wasn't uncommon there.  I certainly couldn't be accused of being
sunny, and cheerful.  They weren't cruel, it was just a warehouse.  A place
to store children with no place else to go, and there just wasn't enough
staff to deal with us.  We all had problems, you tend to pick up some
scrapes and bruises falling through the cracks, and they sheltered us.  Fed
us, taught us, tried to help us find new families, but they couldn't be
expected to make us all better.  There was 60 beds in that dorm alone, it
wasn't the only one, there were boys too.  There just wasn't enough money
from cheritable donations to get us all the therapy we needed.

   So, we found ways to cope.  I found mine, and fell in love with a young
teenager, who sleepwalks, and gets teased for being ugly.  I'd never make
fun of her nose, her buck teeth, or her acne.  I loved her, I loved her
even before I ever laid eyes on her, and seeing her face did nothing to
change that.

   She didn't wake up, though.  A very deep sleeper, but I was lonely, so I
pulled back her covers, and got under them.  It was a cold, drafty dorm,
with high ceilings, and she was right bye one of the windows.  But so warm
under there, and right in the middle of the narrow cot.  I had to lay
sideways, and still hung off the side a little.  I held onto her back, and
felt her arm.  Like she did, that first night, just gently brushed it with
my fingers, felt her bare skin, and the tiny hairs under it.  Kissed her
again, or tried to, but her face was deep in the pillow, and she didn't
kiss back.  In her sleep, and face down like that I couldn't touch her
chest.

   She had a shirt on too, but I put my leg up.  Over hers, and felt the
backs of her thighs with the inside of mine.  "Huh." I rather liked that,
the feel of her skin on the inside of my thigh.  I felt her bottom too,
squeezed it a little, with one hand, while my leg went up and down, back
and forth on the backs of hers.  Felt her underpants, or the shape of them,
the edges under her sleep shorts.  She sleeps in shorts, like the ones I
saw the morning before, but with underpants, well under them.

   I saw her in the showers, watched her come out, in a towel standing in
line.  Waiting my turn, the older girls went first, or that side, in order
of the bed assignment, but I looked back.  In line, she didn't look back at
me, but I turned to lean back against the cold damp bricks, in the steamy
soapy scented air of the shower room, and saw her take it off.  The towel,
she dried her hair with it, but now I could smell her more than the
lingering shampoo.

   Remembering her bottom, bent over to pick up her underpants, these
underpants, and now I had to push her covers down.  A little, it was
getting hot with both our bodies under there, but this time she had clothes
on.  I watched her bend over to pull her shorts up next, these shorts,
feeling them with my hand, then up to the waist.  It was really warm inside
them, and her underpants felt silky.  Her buttock firm, and the tiny piping
at the edge stretched, elastic to pull it up a little.  Feel the curve of
her buttock with my fingertips, her bare hairless skin, her cheek with
mine, and her legs with my thigh.

   "Hhuh!"

   I slipped out, snuck back to bed.  I got what I needed, I didn't feel
lonely any more.  Even in the chilly night are, I felt hot, and dreamy, and
not a little sweaty in my own underpants.  I felt it, touched myself in
there, probably for the first time other than to wash or wipe.  I didn't
play with myself, I just felt funny, and sweaty, and I felt down there to
check.  It was an unfamiliar feeling to me, but then I just went to sleep.
And dreamed of her, naked.

   She did take the towel off, and bent over getting dressed.  I didn't get
a good look, she was far away, and faced toward the bench, where she left
her clothes so I didn't get to see her breasts.  Her back, and her bottom,
I got a good look at that, but not what she had between her legs.  I hadn't
seen that, and i don't think i dreamed of it.  Really thought about it,
only that mine felt weird, hot and sweaty, and maybe a little swollen?

   I mostly dreamed about her turning around.  Naked, but seeing me. 
Walking up, and bending down.  Chucking my chin, and kissing me.  Hugging
her, naked, right there in front of everyone in the bathroom, and also
feeling her rear.  In both hands, and then our legs impossibly intertwined.
Sliding against one another, i don't know, floating off the floor, standing
up like that, but the other girls gone, forgotten.

   Just floating in space, everything else forgotten.  Even the light,
nothing but the two of us, holding eachother, and kissing, our legs
intertwined, and drifting away together in the dark.

   "Hihn!" Then I woke up, to a new day.  Blinked, and felt her arm.  With
my hand, I looked up, smiled, and kissed her.  She must have gotten up, and
followed me in the night.

   "Hm?" She pushed me back, "What are you doing!?"

   The other girls woke up.  I looked around, giggled, "Well, you are in my
bed." Happy.  I felt, and lowered my voice.  To a whisper.  'Naked.'

   "Oh!" She clutched the blanket, got really red, and ashamed, "Uh?" but
she took them.  I let her borrow the blankets, while she went to get some
clothes on.

   But she didn't sleep on her stomach, in my bed.  In a shirt, and shorts,
and underwear with me.  She slept naked, on her side, so she could hold me,
our legs intertwined, and I could kiss her.

   "Hihn!" I picked up my pillow, and hugged it.

   Then, she started avoiding me.  All morning, she didn't want to look at
me, and when she caught me staring, she walked away.  We had different
classes, of course, it was a school, and we were in different grades, but
then my teacher came up, and took me out to the hall.

   Someone told on us, so I was taken to the office by another lady, The
headmistress scolded us, and Judith was there, crying.  We were told off
for getting up at night, "Disturbing" the other girls, getting in
eachother's beds, though I didn't think anyone saw me get in hers, I guess
that was assumed.  She didn't say anything about the kissing, or touching,
and Judith had the excuse that she was sleepwalking.

   She slept in that bed for years, so in her sleep, it was still her bed,
that's why she kept going back to it, but I said something stupid.  I was
crying, and I pleeded, saying I was lonely, and "I love her."

   So, they moved me to another dorm.  So, we couldn't get up, and sneak to
eachother's beds at night.  Sleep together, and kiss, I got a spanking too,
for saying that.  You believe that?  Spanking a child for being in love,
but she avoided me after that.  Judith, I awoke in the new dorm, alone, and
started crying, because I couldn't go to her.  Hold her, and kiss her,
sleep with her smelling her hair, and once again I felt all alone. 
Ironically in a room full of girls, but not Judith.

   I didn't care about any other girls but Judith.

   ;

   Judy (fg Stal Somn Mole Horr.  Mat/daug Ince)

   I didn't mean to get her in trouble, I just needed to make her stop. 
The new girl, Kimbery, she freaked me out, and then I woke up in her bed.
So, I went to the headmistress, and asked for her to be moved to another
dorm.  Also to get my old bed back, I sleepwalk, and it had gotten me in
trouble before, but that just made me remember how I got here and it was
all my fault!

   I had to leave, I'm sorry she spanked her, that was never what I wanted,
she seems like a nice girl, and I know how hard it is when you first come
here, she didn't have any friends, I didn't know what happened to her
parents, but she was obviously still sad about it, homesick, and just
wanted a friend.  So, I hid under the stairs, and cried.  For her, but that
just reminded me what it was like for me, and I still didn't have any
friends to speak of.

   I have a temper, and they tease me, call me Bitch, and "Rude Judy," make
fun of my nose, and my teeth, which makes my face break out, and messes up
my sleep.  Then they tried to move me again, and Kimberly said I got in bed
with her that first night.  I woke up back in my new bed, but as usual I
didn't remember a thing, like a dream, I just woke up like nothing
happened, but at least she didn't tell the headmistress I kissed her.

   "Uh!" In her sleep, it must have woken her up for her to remember it,
but that just reminded me of mom, and dad waking me up, and yelling at me,
so I attacked him out of fear, and he was so jealous, but I didn't know
what I was doing!  What's wrong with me!?

   So, I cried for days, and had nitemares, and tried to avoid her, but she
kept staring at me every chance she got, which was all the time, because
she was following me so she was always there, and that just made me more
ashamed of what I did to her, and afraid of myself.  That's the fear that
keeps me up at night, the nightmare that I wake up, touching some girl in
my sleep, because there's so many girls in there with me, and I get so
angry when I wake up I might even attack, and hurt one of them, but moving
me away from the younger ones didn't help, because I keep going back to the
old one, and whoever happens to be in there is in danger!

   "Huh, snh!"

   So, that happened, for weeks, and wouldn't you know it, eventually she
caught me.  Hiding under the stairs, and I was crying so hard I didn't even
hear her until she was there, holding me, and pulling my hair.  Not hard,
it didn't hurt, just through her fingers, and I felt her in my lap, she was
heavy, but I wanted to push her off, and I couldn't because the gate down
to the basement was in the way, and I felt too weak to even do anything,
but try to breathe until I slowly began to stop crying.

   "Snh!"

   "There," she felt under my chin, "Feel better?" I looked up, and nodded.

   "A litl'Hh?  MH?"

   She kissed me, but I finally felt the strength to push her off.

   "Ow!" She fell, not really down the stairs, but between them and the
metal gate.

   "I'm sorry!" I touched her arm, "God, what's Wrong with Me!?"

   "It's okay," she got up, "Huh!  It didn't hurt to bad, but.  Don't you
like me, at all?"

   "No, I mean.  Uh, I don't.  I don't even know you?"

   "But I love you."

   "Stop saying that, you don't even know me!"

   "So?  What's that got to do with it?  From the moment I saw you I knew I
was in love.  You're so beautiful, and strong, and.  Mh, smq!"

   "Hh." I just relaxed, and let her kiss me.  Put my hands up, and, just
held them.  Up in the air like she pointed a gun at me, but I didn't know
what to do?  I didn't want to hurt her, again, nor get her in trouble, yet
again, "Mh," I turned away, and wiped my mouth, "I'm sorry, but it just
freaks me out."

   "Why?"

   "Huh!" I looked down, "I don't know," mumbled, 'my.  mother.' Turned
away, but she turned me back.

   "You miss her." She nodded.

   "No, I.  Well, yes, but that's, nh?  Whuhuhuhuhn!"

   "Oh," she hugged me again, and went back to pulling my hair.  Slowly,
gently, like a brush or comb between her fingers, and I don't know why that
made me feel better, but I just had a nightmare again, it felt like, wide
away, knowing this was real, and happening right now, but unable to escape
her face, the shock and fear when father woke up, and woke me up, and
turning away, and letting go of me, and "Snh!" I nodded, and wiped my eyes.
"Huh!"

   "Did she hurt you?"

   "No, oh no.  She loved me, but that made father jealous, and that's why
he threw me out.  Huh!  He got mad, and we had a fight, he didn't hit me,
but I couldn't stop him.  Snh, packing up all my clothes, and he.  He
called the cops on me."

   "What for?"

   "Huh, I sleep walk."

   "That's why you got in bed with me." I looked down, "It's all right, I
miss you, I wish we could sleep together every night, I miss you.  So
much." She just stopped, talking.  I thought she's kiss me again, but she
just looked at me.  All over my face, smiling, and she called me Beautiful.
Not just pretty, not ugly, which seems to be the consensus, and I was
extremely conscious of my complection from her wiping my tears over my
pimples, but.

   "Huh!" I looked down, and blushed.  I wasn't ashamed, I just.  Felt
something then, I didn't even know what, but it wasn't like anything, and I
couldn't put my finger on it until I remember what she said.

   She loved me, and it was at that moment, I actually started to believe
it.

   ;

   Kim (Gf Roma Affe NS.  G Solo)

   At last, it was more wonderful than I ever imagined, but she finally
accepted my love, and I knew she would say it back, any day.  "I love you
too," I can just imagine, and it's the best feeling ever.  I know, we have
to keep it secret.  It's against the rules for boys and girls, and though
it's not a religious orphanage, most of our donations come from churches,
and all the staff seem to be Christian.

   I don't know about that.  God, religion, I can't say I ever really had
all that much faith, but now that I found love, I can't believe that
anything so good can be a sin.  I love her, if the price of that is hell,
then I'll love her in hell, too.  See my family, I know drinking is wrong,
and driving drunk is what killed them, but I love them too, and still miss
them.  I just have to remember Judith for that all to go away.

   She got better too, I mean she smiled more, at least at me, and that's
enough to make the pangs of ache go away.  I had her, when we could be
alone, together or even just seeing me across the tables at breakfast, or
lunch.  After class is what I live for, until dinner when we have to go,
eat together, we can for supper, but until then, we can go and just love.
One another, in her arms, her lap, at first I just kissed her lips.

   It's weird, because the first time she kissed me, that first night when
I didn't even know what she looked like, she felt around inside my mouth.
With her tongue, where the last teeth were still growing in, but then we
started kissing wide awake, and it was like we went back to square one. 
Just our lips together, but our breath mixing, and the heat of her face,
her hair.  Always the smell of her hair, and reeling the waves ripple
between my fingers.

   It's weird, she's kind of a tom-boy?  I mean, the way she acts, even a
bit of a bully to the other girls, and she fights the boys a lot, but
there's always a teacher there to break it up before she gets hurt.  The
funny thing is when we're together, I do most of the kissing.  I mean, she
kisses back, and she's still taller so she has to bend down, but not when I
sit in her lap.

   Like a child, I guess I am, but then I don't have to tip my head up, and
she doesn't have to bend down, I just took off her glasses, she's
nearsighted, so she doesn't have to squint, and I can look in her eyes. 
She looks down, and I love it when her cheeks blush.  Her face cleared up a
little, she says it's stress, and she sleeps better now.

   "Like you said, I just have to think of you." She turned, sideways, and
kissed me!  "I love you."

   "OH!" I thought my heart would bust!  She kissed me again, so I opened
my lips, and licked hers.  Then her teeth, and then her tongue, but she had
all her teeth.  One was a little crooked on the top, and the pointed ones
weren't as sharp as they looked when she smiled, but the point where the
crooked one stuck out in front was a little, "Huh!" I had to take a breath.
I smiled, and she smiled back.  Hugged her as tight as I could, and felt
her soft chest squish around my ribs.  Her long arms, and her hands on my
shoulders.

   Breathless, I always wondered what that felt like.  Not like I'd been
running around, my heard beat so deep, and hard, but not fast, just
thundering loud in my ears, and I felt her's too.  Even better than a kiss,
our hearts beating against eachother, and she felt my legs.

   "Oh," I nuzzled her hair, and kissed it.  And her neck through it until
I could push it aside with my nose, and kiss her hot skin underneath
directly.  I felt up to pull it aside, and licked it to taste her sweat,
the smell of her hair still warm in my nose, and the saltiness of her skin
in my mouth, and the heat of her neck on my face, and my skirt slipping up
my legs so she could brush them gently with her fingers.  "HohhHHH!"

   I was getting really very sweaty under there.  Especially under my legs,
from the heat of her lap until she slipped her fingers between my thighs,
and spread them open.

   "Hihihihn!" It tickled a little, but then it didn't.  Tickle at all,
because she wasn't tickling.  Her fingers slowly felt up, and down the
inside of my thigh, until her nails brushed the other one, and "Nh!" That
tickled an instant, like a spark, and I felt it all the way in my
underpants.  She didn't even touch them, but like feeling myself, in bed at
night thinking about her, or with wet soapy fingers in the shower, I knew
that was then.  Right at the moment her nails just brushed my thigh that it
was sexual.

   We're in love, and now I desperately wanted her to make love to me.  We
couldn't, it was getting late, the stairs was no place to even attempt it,
and my moans were already echoing so loud in there.

   "Hhhihn!" I just relaxed, leaned back against the hand rail, and I don't
believe I could have opened my eyes, or closed my mouth if I wanted to. 
"Ohhhhhm!  LH?"

   So, she covered my mouth, with hers, and grinned, her tongue snaking in,
and lashing around.  Like, I don't know, half a worm sticking out of the
mud, and struggling to pull the rest of the way out?  That's what I thought
about, when her fingers brushed into my underpants, and started pressing
them.  Deeper, and deeper into me, and wiggling so I split open, and felt
so warm, and dry, and dried up all the sweat, until it burst free, and I
thought I'd hit my head on the handrail at first.

   "OWMHHHHHHH!" I moaned in her mouth, and had to turn away to breathe. 
"HihhhHHHH, AUHHhhhhh...'

   I relaxed, and just held on.  I didn't even realize I was clamping my
knees together so hard they hurt until they relaxed, and she slipped her
hand out.

   'hhhhhh!' I thought I'd pass out, or maybe I did, and just kept
dreaming, but I felt my skirt.  She pulled it down, over my lap, and just
held me.  Felt up my tummy, and just brushed the top of my dress gently
over my chest.  Over my heard, and I felt it beat against the bone, as if
to break free, so she could hold it in the palm of her hand.

   She can have it, it's already her's.

   She had to tell me, walking back for dinner, hand in hand until we're
out where anyone could see us what that was.

   ;

   Night Terror (Ff Ince Mole Horr.  Also f solo.)

   "Hnh?" I woke up, frozen, but alone.  I couldn't even shake my head, or
scream, just lie there sweating, and wait for the feeling to creep back
into my body.

   My heart beating in my chest, eyes tight, shivering in fear,
uncontrollably.  The cold puddle of drool under my cheek, but finally it
tingled in my toes, fingertips, breaking out over my shoulders in
goosebumps, and I could slowly move.  Breathe, relax, and curl up on my
side.

   Crying, trying not to sob, but I don't have to remember the nitemare. 
That's what it is, a memory.  Not fighting with dad, getting kicked out,
picked up by the police, and driven away to children's services, but why he
did that to me.

   I guess he was jealous of me.  Because of mom, blame me for going to
their bed, her kissing me, touching me, "Nhm!" What was I supposed to do?
How was I supposed to stop her?  She was the adult, and I guess it was just
easier to send me away.  "Hhhhh!"

   She's not like that, Kimberly.  "Hhhh hIN hIN hIN!"

   Like she said, just think of her.  She's not, my mother.  She's younger,
smaller, she doesn't know what she's doing, but mom.  God, mom, why?  She
called it Love, how could she call that love?  It didn't feel like love, it
was disgusting, and scary, and so confusing.  She told me that it was
normal, now that I'm starting to grow up.  To be interested in sex, touch
myself, and.

   She lied.  She wasn't talking about playing with myself.  She did it,
she touched me, and made me feel so horrible, and sick, and gave me
nitemares.  I still have nitemares, and Kimberly helps.  No, think about
Kimberly.

   "Whhhhooh!" I better get up.  I kind of have to pee, and I don't like to
think about it, in bed.  Laying down, sitting up even on a toilet, instead
of on the stairs with Kimberly.

   She didn't, I don't know if she's going to slow, or to fast, but she
hasn't touched them yet.  It's not the same, for one thing her hands are
smaller, younger, and she doesn't know what to do.  Just play with my hair
mostly, but I love that now.  I just wish she had, felt me up now.  To see
what that would be like, if she did that, but my hands aren't to bad.  For
one thing, they're backwards, and I can feel them.  My fingers, and my
chest in them, instead of just hear hands groping, and squeezing them in
the dark.

   "Huh!" Shake my head, no.  "Kimberly." Nod.  "Not mom, Kim."

   I'm glad I'm gone, where she can't get me.  I'm better now, "Snh?" As
long as they don't give my bed away, I know I'm on the wrong side, but they
get that now, if they try to move me, i'll just go back to bed in my sleep,
so it's just better not to give it to another girl.  A younger one, like
Kimber, but I'm just lucky.  That something so good finally came out of all
of this, and god.

   The look on her face, so red, and moaning so loud, and her breathless
smile when she finally finished.  It wasn't like that, she was wide awake,
I was wide awake, I didn't molest her.  She sat down in my lap, and kissed
me, and swabbed out my mouth with her tongue like a Q-tip, but now i can
see that's what was wrong with me.  Why i was so scared of love, of her,
well.

   "No."

   Me.

   I was terrified of what I would do to her.  My greatest fear was being
just like mom.

   "HhHhH!"

   But I'm not like that, she loves me, she thinks I'm beautiful, and i
didn't make her, I made love to her.  That's okay, it's not even the,
homosexual thing.  I'm homosexual now, and that's okay, yes she's a child,
but I'm not even a teen yet, i'm just like an older child, and I didn't
really take advantage of her.  I know, she told me.  She didn't forgive me,
that wasn't me that first night, that was the nitemare.  I didn't know what
i was doing, nor even that i was doing it, I didn't even remember it to
forget in the night, she was there, and I just kissed her.  She said I felt
her arm, and her legs with mine too, but the important thing is i didn't
hurt her.  It didn't make her uncomfortable, or terrify her, she's not even
confused, she just loves me, and God knows I need that right now.

   Love, real love, not incest, and sex abuse called love.  That's the
best, greatest, most precious thing Kimberly could have ever given me.  She
showed me, I'm not a monster, I can love, I don't have to be afraid any
more.  I guess that I can think of her to make it go away is a close
second, but i gave her an orgasm.  Her first, so how hard can it be?  I
feel so full of love now, and my bosoms are practically beating with my
heart.  "Eheehehehe!" Why, i bet they're even pink!  But i can feel down
now, lower, just lean back.  the pipe is cold, the seat wamed up, and the
tiles under my feet, but the stall.

   It's a cool night, nice and chilly, which is good, as hot as I am.  If
it was a summer night, or we're out in the sun, we could start a fire! 
Feels like she did, she lit the match, and now the flame was licking
higher, and higher.  Growing, blazing out of control, and
"NHHHHHHAAAAUOHHHHHH!"

   Yes!

   It's not that hard.

   "Ngh?"

   Goodness, GRAcious!  She's right, if this is sin, see her in hell.  Love
her eternally, in hell.  That's fine, I'm burning up here, you're telling
me they have a hotter fire down there?  Well, we'll see, but I highly doubt
it.

   "HhHhH, hihHN, HhHhH!" Wow.  "Snh!" My fingers, "SNH!" Remember that
smell!  "Slip?  Huhph, Sliph suh swop suooq!" it even tastes delicious, and
I'm not, satisfied.  At all, nor a virgin, thanks mom.  But now my fingers
are all wet, and I must be dripping by now.  "ihiheheehaha!" Not quite. 
Yet, but.  "IMH!" It's not like, "Nh hm hmhmhmhmhmhmhMH!" That.

   This time it feels good!

   ;

   Love/Sick (fG Signifying a sexually active big Girl.  Prepubescent, but
sexually maturing before physical maturity.  Also, Trigger Warnings:
Somnolent Maternal Incest, Defloration, and arguably Rape.)

   Tearfully, she told me what her parents did to her.

   "First, thanks."

   "What for?"

   "Well,' she looked down, "I got my period." Shamefully.

   "Did I do that?"

   "Oh," she touched my arm, "No.  I mean, that started before i came here,
but this time.  Huh!  Well, the special thing is it just happened.  I
always got, Premenstral before."

   "What's that?" I barely know what a period is.

   "Huh, well.  I used to get, Bitchy.  Before it happened, I always got
nitemares before I got it, and this time.' She hugged me, "I just had to
think of you, then it wasn't scary any more."

   "Oh!" I hugged her back.

   "Huh!" She turned, and kissed me.  Quick, just on the lips.  "HhHhH!"
She shivered, "The first time, it happened.  I told my mom, I didn't know
what was happening, and she." I just waited, for her to finish sobbing. 
"Snh, she.  Huh!  Well, she told me, what that means."

   "What?" I'm patient, but I'm also dying to know.

   "Well, it means I'm ready for sex.  She showed me, how to play with
myself, but." She closed her eyes.  "Snh, huh!" Forced herself to relax,
but she looked like she was hurting, inside.  I could tell.  "There was
something in the way.  So, she fixed it."

   "What was it?"

   "My," she looked me in the eyes.  "Virginity." Nodded.

   "Oh," I wiped her eyes, but she broke down again.

   "Uh uh uh uh uh!" I just held her, let her sob in my arms.

   "It hurt." She nodded.

   "Snh, then.  I started, growing.  I didn't play with myself.  For years,
I couldn't." She leaned back, held me out, and looked at me.  "Snh!" Wiped
her nose on the cuff of her blouse.  Just like mine, only her size. 
"Uhntil, last night.  After I, well fingered you off." Right here, through
my panties, it was so wonderful!  I nodded, "Well, then I could do it." She
held up her fingers, "Twice."

   "Wow!" She grinned, nodding, "Oh!" I love that smile!  "Feel better?"

   "Much, thank you so much!" she hugged me.  "She felt me up, my breasts
when they started growing, and kissed them, and made me suckle hers like a
baby, and kissed me down there, and made me kiss her down there, and."

   "Stop," i patted her back, "Judith.  Huh!  That's enough, I'm happy for
you, but now you're talking crazy, and it's starting to scare me."

   "I'm sorry,' she held me out, "I just had to get that off my chest."
Felt down my arms, flattening the bloused shoulders, and stretching them
tight.  "So," and feeling out from my elbows to my hands, at her hips. 
"Now, you can do this." She picked them up, and put them on her chest.

   Sitting on her legs, with mine spread so the knees where by her hips,
and i could lean back against the gate.  Spread apart like diamonds to lock
the way down to the basement, but she left them there when i softly
squeezed her, through the front of her dress.

   She unbuttoned the straps, so I could pull down the bib, and feel them
through her blouse.

   "Hm." She nodded, and bit her bottom lip.  Eyes, closed, but smiling a
little, so i felt around, rubbed them through the linen.  "Hhhhhhh!" Felt
her breathe, through them.  then her shirt pull.  Down tight, but she
tugged at the button.  At the bottom, the the next, and the next...

   "Oh!" It had been, what?  Weeks since the first night.  I only touched
one, on the side when she put it there, but I was so distracted by her
tongue in my mouth, and i didn't know what to do.  So, I just left it
there, but now they're so soft, and round, and a little bigger than my
hands, but that just means i can rub them around in her shirt, and she
licks her lips.  So, I turned to kiss her, and lick them too.

   She pushed my hands off, but just to finish unbuttoning her blouse, and
i already felt down.  Inside the open part, and my fingertips up her ribs.

   "Hmhihn!" She stopped kissing to laugh, and squirm a little.

   "Sorry," She's ticklish!?

   "Ahhhmn!" She lay back, on the stairs, but i just let my hands follow
her down.  On her breasts, her niples hot enough in my palms to feel the
difference, and golly but they're bright pink!

   "Hihihn!" I leaned down, to kiss her hot burning neck, and "Siph?" her
hair.  Turned the other way to get the other side, and.

   "Ohhh!" she moaned louder, "Gosh!" I nodded, and kissed down.  Her
collar bone, and felt her nipple with my thumb.

   "Huhhhh!" squeezed around it, so it stuck out, hot, and pink, and kissed
it.

   "Smq," licked it, and kissed it again, wet this time.  Felt the other
one, and slipped my thumb aside, to squeeze it out, and turned.  Kissed,
licked, and sucked that one too.  "Snh!"

   My goodness, but did she smell strong!  Even her sweat tasted different,
or maybe her chest tastes different from her neck?  A new day too, but we
always necked on lunch, but i remember the smell of her hair.  Most of all,
but this sweat was the best so far, and i was definitely getting sweaty in
my undies.

   "Can you touch me?"

   "Oh!" She blinked, "Sorry." Grinned, and nodded.  Slipping her hands
under my skirt, over her lap, to feel my underpants.

   "Oh, Judith!" I bent back down to her neck, and slipped my thumbs back
over her damp sticky nipples.

   "Oh, Kimberly!"

   We got caught, but it was so worth it.  I just couldn't hold back,
moaning so loud, when she polished me off in my underpants.

   ;

   Kimberly (GfF DS)

   Ms.  Nolan took us in her office.  She's some sort of faculty, a
Coordinator, and Councilor.  I forget her exact title, but when we got
caught having sex in the stairwell.  She said "I suppose we can't stop
you."

   "Why would you want to?" Judith shook her head.  "Huh!  We're in love."

   "Well, we've made arraingements for you to be together."

   "Truly?"

   "There's some unused cells, in the old wing." She nodded.

   "Like a jail?"

   "No, this used to be a Convent, and Monestary.  So, like a Monestary."
Explains the chapel.  Mister Vickers came by on sunday to preach.  "It
isn't much, but you can be alone together, and not disturb the other
girls."

   More or less, it was a longer conversation, but she took us to our
dorms, let us grab our things, and even helped us carry them to our wing.
Or my stuff, rolled up in my bedding, it was indeed a cell.  Stone walls, 2
beds and a dresser.  Closer to a dorm-room in college than a jail cell.  I
found later, when I was old enough to experience both, but it didn't
matter.

   I didn't even care that we couldn't share a bed, it was ours.  Together,
not alone, but we had eachother.  And a bathroom with a tub down the hall,
but Jude got a bucket.  They called it a "Chamberpot," but it was a normal
bucket, like any of the others they had there.  Someone made a wooden seat
for it, so she could get up in the middle of the night, and use it.

   I didn't mind, too much.  All right, it can be annoying, awakened to
poots, and the smell in the middle of the night, but I got used to it. 
They couldn't have her randomly trying doors in the middle of the night, we
didn't have the wing to ourselves.  There was some live-in faculty, not
enough for most of the wing, the rest were empty, but among them was Ms. 
Nolan.

   That first night, we made love.  Sitting up on one of the beds, she
picks them at random anyway, so I started deciding whether I wanted to
sleep alone or not.  That's how I picked a bed, when I went to bed, or back
to bed at night.  Sometimes, she'd wake me up getting into bed with me,
others I'd wake up in the morning with her moved across the room from me.

   It was months of restless nights before she got used to being there. 
Not really Judith at all, just the mindless sleepwalker, when she's
unconscious.  Her body, does it's own thing, and even has sex with me, in
the night.  I don't mind, waking up to that.  Putting my sleep on hold,
usually I just play with myself while she kisses, and feels me.  In her
sleep, my legs with her's, somewhere on my body or arm with her hand.

   Naked, on her side, she stopped sleeping face down, and putting on
clothes just to sleep in.  With me, it didn't stop the nightmares anyway,
but if she had one, she could think of me to stop.  The nightmare, not
having them, or remembering, but stop it as soon as she realizes she's
dreaming.  She doesn't have to dream of me, I'm right there when she needs
me.

   She's like 2 people, to make love to.  Judith, when she's awake is so
intimate, and affectionate, but in her slep, she just does something.  Not
always the same thing, but keeps doing that on automatic.  So, I get used
to it, and do everything else.  Kiss her so she kisses back, and keeps
doing what she's doing until I climax, and drift back off to sleep.  I love
it, honestly, one of my favorite things about her.

   Awake, she likes to sit up, or stand.  I really don't prefer lying down,
because the bed or whatever gets in the way.  You can only really use one
arm, each so it works, but at least sitting there's nothing in the way. 
That first time in bed, we just sat side by side and kissed.  Had both
hands to get undressed, but took our time.  Enjoyed kissing for god knows
how long, and figuring it out by touch.

   Then when we're naked, we masturbated eachother a while, but also felt
eachothers legs, and bodies quite a bit.  Backs, the whole time, I fingered
through her hair, and held her shoulder, kissing her neck, and the side of
her face.  Feeling her chest, while one hand worked between my legs, and
her other between her's.  No rush to climax, either of us, just enjoying
eachother, being together, and just being able to.  On a bed, with some
privacy, a place to call our own.

   Eventually, we wound up up on the matress.  More of a cot, really, loud
springs, and hanging pretty lose in the middle.  With both of us, a leg in
between, and a hand on it.  On each side, touching, and rutting into the
fingers with our weight.  My fingers inside her, and her mucsles.  I was
surprised to feel muchles inside her, or inside the muscle on the outside.
Well, inside the outside, or however you say it, but it flexing, and
relaxing, sucking in, and pushing out with her gasps, and moans.  Panting
on my face, the hair on the top of my head.  Hers slipping betweein my
fingers, and twirling it around behing her.  Draping over the side of my
face on her shoulder.

   She climaxed first.  Spasming quickly on my fingers, and grunting
breathlessly.  Sounded like "Ih hn nh!" Finally she lay back, scooted out
for me to lay down next to her.  Feel the breathe, the warmth from her
body, the invisibly fine hairs on her panting tummy, standing up, and the
dark curls in the front.  "Thank you," she kissed me, and felt between my
legs.  To make love to me, I don't have to ask her.  To make it up to her,
she does it to please me, because she loves me.  Same reason I do for her.

   That time, she kissed me.  "Turn around," and I held my leg up, to feel
her mouth between my legs.  her lips, tongue fingers.  Her breasts with my
hands, up-side down, and sideways, but I could use both hands, on my side
like that.  I couldn't kiss her back, but I could see it.  Her sex right in
front of me, and really smell it good.  Her taste lingring in my mouth from
sucking it off my fingers.  "Oh!" It didn't take long.  "Judith."

   I just drifted off.  I don't know if she fell asleep right away, or got
up later, but when I woke up, she was right there.  Across the room, the
light was out, but we had a little window for the morning twilight to shine
through.  Facing West, we started wathing the sunset from one bed or the
other.  Sometimes both of them, our pillows bunched up in the bar on the
end, but often together.  Her behind me, on her arm, holing me, and
breathing in my hair.

   We were so happy, just with that.  It turns out Ms Nolan was gay.  She
had a big bed in her cell.  Same as our's only 1 bed, a dresser, and a
night stand on the other side.  She invited us in, talked to us.  About
love first, our relationship, and even how it helped with our problems.  My
lonliness and grief.  Her abuse, and being blamed for it.  Thrown out, her
father's jealousy, and her mother.  The conflict of loving her, and being
her victim.  How do you love someone who did that to you, when she can't
not love her.

   It's like her, and the way she is when she's asleep.  She had to
seperate her mother, the person she loves, and what she did.  How she
perverted it, took advantage of her relationship, and used it to make her
have sex.  Then, when we got past all that, Mertyl came out to us.  She's
lonely too, but she had to explain it to us first.

   She can't do it, to us.  I asked, "Can we have sex with you?" Not in so
many words, I remember verbatum, but I asked first.

   Paraphrasing here: "Possibly, however first I have to tell you how I
have sex.  I need certain things, to enjoy it." It turns out, she had
problems too.  I suspect everyone does, or most do, and the people who
don't are extremely lucky.  Judith asked if she was abused too, but she
said that "It wasn't the way you were.  I had to hide, who I am, but there
were boys, and men.  They abused me for it." She was raped, more than once,
apparently some men think they can fix it that way.  Doesn't make any
sense, but she didn't flash back, or go into any detail.  "It may be why, I
need it to be rough."

   Rough sex, that's what she called it.  Not like bondage, it hurt.  Not
for the pain, but, she needed it rough.  She had sex toys, dildos, and she
said "Fuck." A lot, that's what she calls it, she needs to be fucked. 
That's what works, and you can't argue with results.  I guess technically I
fucked Judith, but as the youngest, it was all on the outside for me for
quite a while, when I started.

   Meredith was the first woman for me.  I guess for Judith in a way,
because she didn't have sex with her mom, you could say that she raped her,
but this is how I started learning different things.  Girls and women are
different, we all have sex differently, and there's a lot of grey area
where people see black and white.  For example, Judith molested me in her
sleep.  The first time, I woke up, and let her, because I was lonely, and
didn't know that's what was happening, but that's "Wrong." On it's face,
sexually assaulting someone in the dark, scared, and lonely, she took
advantage of me, but it wasn't Ker.  Judith, she didn't know she was doing
it, she wasn't even there.  Off in dreamland, she doesn't even remember
what she was dreaming when it happened.

   It happened, and only by unbelievable circumstance was it all right.  it
brought us together, when we needed eachother, and that's how we fell in
love.  Somehow, doing everything wrong came out right, but if you do that,
it's most probably going to go horribly wrong.  We were incredibly lucky,
it didn't.  So, with Meredith, it was something like that.  She needed us,
because the sexual tension, for years wasn't good for her, either.  She had
nitemares, and nobody to even think about.  Her peers are straight laced,
most of them devout Christians.  Even the atheists, agnostics, and
apatheistic (Don't believe, don't know, and don't Care, respectively) don't
really feel that way toward women, ecxept the men, whom she doesn't feel
that way toward.

   Which begs the question of age.  I hadn't turned 9 yet, and she was
barely 13.  I missed her birthday, I mean I was there, but we barely knew
eachother, we all got cupcakes.  They announced them at dinner, I forget
the name of the boy that had the same birthday.  They stood up, nervously
at the table, and we sang "Happy birthday."

   It wasn't, that year.

   We didn't love her.  Meredith, we had sex, well we fucked her.  Really,
with toys, and fingers, I usually strapped one on, because the harness fit
me better.  She had one, a strapon, but it didn't fit her, because she
doesn't fuck girls.  I gues you could call her a child molester, or a
pedophile technically.  She thought I was sexy, Judith too, but it's not
that she's ugly.  She just likes little girls like me, and I enjoyed it.

   I still do, fucking with a strapon.  Being fucked, but honestly I like
the way it feels.  The straps around my buttocks, the pressure, and evn
impact on my pubes.  Once I grew them, we had access to them now.  So, say
what you will about child molesers, or women having sex with girls, she
taught us.  How to have sex, with toys instead of letting us find out about
libe, and splinters, and internal abrasions the hard way.  Through trial
and error, with wooden spoons, or sticks, the way she did because they
didn't have sex ed for lesbians.  Nor even masturbation for girls, how to
do it with fingernails, how to polish them so there's no sharp edges, or
roucg nicks, as long as they're blunt and smooth, it doesn't even hurt.

   She likes it when it hurts.  Sex, not beating, and humiliating her, just
sex so hard it hurts a little.  In the bottom, too.  It's hard for her to
reach, comfortably so twisting around so she can feel front, and back is
distracting.  So, I fucked her.  Hard, as hard as I could when she was lose
enough, and begging for more.  Deeper, harder, and faster until my bottom
cramped, or I just got tired.

   Judith made her fuck her.  With her fingers, toys while I caught my
breath.  Give her oral sex, and even kiss her ass.  I did too, willingly,
she didn't have to make me.  Just ask, she kissed mine too, and gently
fingered me.  In the anus too, her fingers cut, and polished back, so she
had as little nails as possible.  Because of my virginity, Hymen, but I
don't like the word.  I'm not a virgin, but it isn't a cherry, either.  Ms
Nolan showed us that too, how to do it without breaking it, it doesn't even
hurt.  It just takes longer, and I can't take as much.  As many fingers,
the biggest toys, fucking too hard, but it's nice.  Being the tightest, and
feeling the skin pop in and out.  With whatever, gently, though I can take
more in the rear.  Bigger, harder, faster, it doesn't even take as long to
loosen up.

   But that's how we learned, who we learned from.  Using her real name is
a moot point, it's been so long it's not even a crime any more, and the
revelation wouldn't ruin her life any more.  She's not a child molester. 
She spent years in that orphanage, and yes she had lovers before, she
probably still has.  Sex with little girls, I told you we all come in with
something.  She makes sure, that's what they want, and we do most of the
fucking anyway.  It's what she needs, sexually so she doesn't go nuts with
frustration, she wouldn't hurt anyone but herself anyway.

   That's the difference, it's not always wrong, so never do it.  It's
about taking the time to make sure it's absolutely right, and going slow
enough to enjoy all of it.  That yet again, something else we learned from
her.  If you go straight to the buttsex, your first time, or whatever the
biggest thing is, you skip past all the other stuff.  Sure, you can kiss
and hold hands again, but it's not the same when you've felt their mouth on
you.  Their fingers, and togue inside you, they've kissed your ass.  So,
you kiss first, hug eachother.

   I read erotic fiction now adays, and you know what there's not enough
of? Just holding eachother.  Yes, the sex, and fucking and orgasms are at
the end, but that's why I'm writing this as much as anything.  All the
wonderful stuff they leave out, or skip right past.  The part in the
beginning where you just ook at her, imagine eachother naked, and learn to
play with yourself thinking about them.  Just kissing you, holding you
while your fingers figure it out.  Is that the best part?  No, there is no
best part, but it's worth remembering.

   Everyone seems to be in such a rush to have sex.  Right away, or skip
ahead to the end.  The orgasm, or playing the games married couples end up
with only after they've been together long enough for it to start to get
old.  Just Role Playing, babysitter, or the delivery guy, Tarzan and Jane.
Meredith did that, and if you do, you can end up like her.  She doesn't get
anything out of the intimacy.  Maybe a few minutes after, when everyone's
exhauseted, and all you can do is cuddle until we catch our breaths, but I
truly believe she's missing something.

   With Judith, it's different.  I guess it's called foreplay, but that's
sex for us.  Intimacy, affectionate, and we both climax, almost always have
at least one orgasm apeice if we have the time, but we take the time,
usually.  Not to say there's not the occasional quicky when one of us just
has to get off, but usually, and preferably, we'd rather kiss, and neck,
and cuddle, and feel eachother long before we get the clothes off, Or into
the privates, or even breasts, and butts.  Our arms, and legs, feeling
eachother's backs.  Her face in mine, breath together, noteven kissing.  My
face in her ear, or her sex hot and damp rutting into my thigh.

   All of it, all of us together, I love Her.  Not her face, mouth, tits,
pussy, ass, hair, or fingers.  All of her, every last atom of her being,
everything about her.  We make love, to all of us.  Anything left out is
wasted.  I'm not going to tall you how to do it, just make sure they want
it, everything you do first, and call it even, but we don't neglect
anything.  Because it's taboo, or unnatural, I don't have a dick.  Strapons
don't grow on trees, and lube costs money, but we do it all, because all of
it is wonderful.

   But most of all I live the intimacy.  All the sex just adds to that. 
The affection, that how we love eachother, and how we show it.  We have
sex, and orgasm too.

   So, I'm sorry if there's not enough action, or I'm not descriptive
enough.  I don't provide enough details, or blow-by-blow of who does what,
and how.  Because honestly I don't care about that, and you can imagine the
fucking.  sodomy, or pussy eating.  Fingering clitoruses, or groping asses,
and tits.  You know what that's like, but do you have any idea what it's
like to find a love like that?  I can only hope to try to explain it.

   {Sorry, folks.  That's how she writes, in chearacter, especially in
Memoire.}
   /