Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 This is told from a mostly Asexual PoV, for obvious reasons.  However, it
involves consensual Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, and sexual experimentation
between boys, girls, and teens.  For asexual/non-erotic motivations, on the
narrator's part.  Also, language/grammar/spelling is the character's, for
the same reason as the asexuality.

   Astrid

   "Ngk!" I had to cover my giggle, but I caught them.  Beating off
together.  A bunch of boys looking at dirty pictures, and beating off.  It
was funny!  I couldn't really see there things, real good.  There hands was
in the way, and the ones on my side was turned around, but I could see
there butts.  I wasn't real close, but I didn't dare get closer.  There's
to many of them, and being a girl, I was scared.  My daddy said boys can
hurt me.  I mean mom said I'm not supposed to let them see up my skirt, but
then I asked him why.  So, he told me boys can get excited, and hurt me if
I do, and I don't want them to hurt me, but I just want to see.  I knew
they must be out of there heads with sex, being half naked and beating off
together like that, and there big, and there's so many of them.  Some of
them even fought over the magazines, and tore it, so I can imagine that
they could get mad and hurt me when there like that now.

   I thought it was gay to, and you know that's bad, but it ain't gay for
me to look at them, cause I'm a girl.  I see some of there butts pretty
good, and hear them grunt, and there butts get tight like there expecting a
spanking.  It's so naughty I can't stop giggling it's so funny, but they
don't hear me through the window.  Then the ones that grunted pull up there
pants, and leave.  It was after school, so they put there naughty books in
there backpacks when they go.  Until they all left, but I know what all
that stuff was on the floor.  There was a lot of boys, and I thought they'd
leave more then that, but I wonder what it taste like.

   My daddy had naughty books I ain't supposed to look at, and sometimes he
got movies even.  I did it anyway, so I no about sex, and the girls in them
like to suck on it, and get it on there face, but it was dirty from being
on the floor.  A big circle I was careful not to step in it, so I just
played with it in my fingers, and put some on my face.  Then I get my hands
in it real good, and rub it all on my face.  I giggled, it was funny, and
it feels so naughty, and I can't stop smiling and giggling all the way
home. Cause I had it all on my face, and nobody saw it, but it was so
funny, I couldn't stop laughing.  Then I get home, and wash my face, but I
have to scrub it good cause it dried up on the way home.

   Then, I go see my brother to I ask him about what he was doing with the
boys in the building.  He lied, and said "Nothing," but I told him "I saw
it!" I was at his school, because he's supposed to walk me home, but I saw
him go in the old building with the other boys, and watched them through
the window.  He grunted and left early, but I stayed to watch them some
more.  So, he told me "It's not gay, cause we look at the pictures of naked
girls.  A lot of boys just get sick of the same old porn, or don't got
none. So, we go to look at other ones, and beat off.  It's no big deal."
Just naughty, but I guess that's how the boys get there dirty pictures. 
Like our daddy got bored, and throws out his old ones, then goes to get
movies to watch now on his VCR.

   Then I ask "Can watch?" Him beating off, but he got mad and said "No. 
Cause your little sister, and your not even supposed to know about, this
stuff." But i do, so I don't even ask if I can taste it, but the other boys
I saw there like to look at girls, and beat off.  So, maybe I can talk to
one of them monday if they do it again.  Turned out it's a friday thing,
but I seen boys later that I saw at the circle jerk.  That's what they call
it makes sence, but I don't know them, or how to ask them about it, and
there all big so I'm scared they'd get mad, and hurt me.

   So, I dreamed about it at night every night.  Like that movie our daddy
got, at the end when the girls get together with all the men they did it
with, and they put all there things in them, and then they beat off in
there faces, and dad beat off and grunted watching it but I couldn't see
either, cause the chair was in the way.  Then, I dream about going in the
building, and I'm naked, and all the boys come in, and look at me.  Not
just my face, but all over me.  You know the one where your naked, and
everyone is looking at you?  I had that again, but its supposed to be a
nitemare.  Only this time it wasn't, and I wasn't scared or ashamed, cause
they didn't point and laugh and make fun of me.  I know I can't do that or
they might get mad and hurt me.  So, I'm scared to, but not in my dream. 
Instead, I felt beautiful, and proud, and they all stared, but the boys got
there things out, and beat on them, and that just made me feel prettier. 
Like a star, and then they started grunting, and they closed there eyes,
but before it came out and got all over me I woke up, because nobody could
see me, with all there eyes closed.

   Then I got to get up and go to school.  I stole some of my brother's
dirty pictures, and took it in my bookbag.  Theres a boy in 6 grade, and he
looked at girls, and chased them, and kisses them when he catches them, and
touches there boobs.  I bet he beat off to, and he had more dirty pictures,
but not me, cause I'm little and I don't got boobs.  I bet he's mad with
sex, so he's scary, but I bet he'd do it.  I just hoped he wouldn't hurt me
to.  So, I took the dirty pictures to show him, cause those girls got
boobs. I saw him on lunch at the playground, cause he has recess when I
have lunch.  So, I get away from my class when the teacher ain't looking,
and go see him on the playground.  He ain't chasing no girls, but just
hanging out by the fence, and watching them on the swings.

   So, I ask him if he "Like to see the girls legs?" first.  Since there
skirts blow up on the swings, and if you watch it you can see there
underpants.  I got underpants, so I can see them any time, but I don't got
a thing, and my brother won't show me his.  He lied, and said "No," and
pushed me away.  So, then I ask if he want to see my undies.  He said "No,"
again, but he can't push me, cause I stayed back.

   Then he chased me, so I run around the building where no one can see us.
I pulled down my underpants, before he catches me, so he stopped.  He asked
me "What're you doing?" So I told him, "I got dirty pictures," and asked if
"You wanna see?" He nodded, but I got my underpants off and give him them,
so he knows I'm serious.  "I'll let you see me naked after school, to."
Then the bell rung, so I had to get to class.  If I can watch him beat off,
but I'll just stand back so he can't catch me and hurt me.  But then what
if he chases me out where they can see me naked?  "Tihihihn!" And his thing
hanging out, so I guess I can get away when he puts it back, or maybe make
him pull his pants down so he can't run, and I can see his butt!

   I saw it, in a movie once.  The lady give a man her underpants, so he
can sniff them, and beat off, then he goes back, and they have sex.  So, I
tried that, and then I feel so excited the rest of the day.  Also, It'
exciting sitting in class without my underwear.  I had a skirt on, so
nobody sees it, but I feel it all day, and I can't stop smiling all day. 
It's so funny, and feels so funny, but I don't pay good attention, because
I keep thinking if anybody knew I didn't have no underwear on, I would be
in so much trouble, but they don't.  So, I get away with it, and its so
naughty, like those girls.  Big girls at my brothers school, and the high
school have tights that say Naughty on the butts, but they don't get to
wear them at school, because there naughty, but they wear them after
school, and there tight, so everybody can see there butts.

   Then I remember the boys beating off, so I can see there butts, and
there things.  I bet that boy beat off, with my underwear, and I'm gonna
get to see his butt, and his thing, and he can beat off when he looks at me
naked, and the naughtiest thing I can think of is him looking at me naked,
and beating off.  Then I can taste his stuff, if he don't get it dirty on
the floor, but he can beat it on my face, so I can taste it, and I bet it's
yummy.  They say it's yummy in the stories in the naughty magazines, and
then I remember the one I brought, but I can't get it out to look at until
school is over anyway.  I can get in trouble if i get caught with at
school, but it doesn't feel as naughty as just sitting at my desk, without
my underwear under myskirt, because he's got them, and he's probably
beating off right now sniffing it.

   Class never felt so long, especially at the end, and I just watch the
clock until the bell rings.  Then I look for the boy, but I find him in the
first place I looked.  Around the building, where I gave him my underpants,
then I take him, and pull his hand, so he followed me to the park.  There
was lots of kids around, so we had to go way back in the trees, but he gave
me the underpants back, and there was white spots in it.  I ask him "Did
you beat off in these?" He got red, and said "Sorry," but I was happy, so I
sniff them, but it don't smell like nothing.  Then I pull out the dirty
pictures so he can look at them and beat off.  He asked me, "Why?" So, I
tell him I want to see it, but he says I said he can see me naked.  So, I
pull off my dress, and undo my shirt to pull it off.

   He had his pants undone, and it was sticking out, so I pull them down. I
tell him to go on, and beat off, cause he just stares at me.  So then he
start pulling on it again, but not like the boys at my brothers school he
just pinched it.  Then I ask if he can beat off on me, and he grunted right
away.  So, I grab his hips to hold him straight.  It didn't go in my face,
but I got some on my neck, and my shoulders to wipe it up, and taste it on
my fingers.  It don't taste like much but at least now I know what it taste
like.  I'm disappointed, but I let him keep the dirty pictures my dad and
brother have lots of them, and boys get bored with them anyway, but he
never seen them, so I get dressed and go home.

   It was fun, I guess, and really very naughty, but they said it would
taste yummy, and it didn't.  I like how it felt it was warm, and sticky,
but slippery to, and I wished he shot it on my face, or I thought to rub it
on my face, but it stuck my shirt to me, and that was kind of neat all the
way home cause I can feel it, and it felt so naughty, but nobody saw it. 
Like when I had no underpants on under my skirt, and I didn't put my
underpants back on, because they're dirty, but I had them in my pocket, and
I guess I could get them out, but I didn't.  There dry anyway, but the
stuff in my shirt is still wet and sticky so it slips on my shoulders when
i pull on it.  I giggled thinking about showing someone them, though. 
Telling them what those white spots is, and where it comes from.

   Then I tried playing with myself again, but it still didn't feel like
much.  I remember I got an itch between my toes, and stopped to scratch it,
because even that felt better, so I stopped trying.  Then, I guess I pay
attention better in class the next day and then on recess he came and asked
me if we can hang out after school.  So, I say "I guess," but then I
forgot. Then the next day he chased me, and catches me.  He's mad, cause
"You stood me up!" He says, so I said, "You didn't say This afternoon, you
said after school."

   So, he said "You better be there this afternoon." Which made me mad so
now I don't want to.  It was fun once, but then he threatened me, so I tell
my teacher.  "He took me after school, and told me to take my clothes off
in the park, and beat off on me.  It's true, but I didn't say it was my
idea.  He did tell me to, and "He threatened me." I brought my underpants,
I guess I just liked having them in my pocket, and looking at the white
spots to remember, and think about him beating off in them.  The principle
too them, and asked "When?"

   So, I told him "Today, on lunch." When he shouldn't even be on the
playground on lunch, cause it ain't his recess, and he chased me, and "Lots
of kids saw it.  I mean, him chasing me, and he chases the other girls, in
6 grade, and even 5th grade, if they got boobs." 2 days in a row, so I
remember some kids that saw it, and he got expelled.  Then I think about it
all day, or afternoon.  After school, but the more I think on it the
better, and better I feel about it, cause I won.  I beat him cause he's
bad, cause he chases all the girls, and makes them kiss him, but then I
made him do what I wanted, and he got in trouble for it!  I was so naughty,
and he got in trouble which is even better then just getting away with it!
So, then I start thinking what I can do that's even naughtier, and how I
can get away with it, and who I can get in trouble, for what.  If they
deserve it he deserved it, and I teached him a lesson for the rest of the
year.  He didn't just go home for the day, or stay behind for detention,
nor even get suspended.  He got Expelled, forever.  I bet he went to juvie
too, or at least the bad kids school, or the training school.  I don't
know, I never saw him again, but he was gone, and I was even famous for it!
All the girls at school hated him, and I got lots of friends, when I didn't
really have any, good ones before that.

   I mean even 5th, and 6th grade girls, and I told them about the Jr high
circle jerk.  "On fridays, and since our school lets out first, we can even
go over there, to watch it." The best thing is it's not just me.  I got
like a gang, okay it's school girls, but a bunch of us.  So, it's not as
scary, as just me, and they can't hurt all of us as easy.  "We just got to
sneak up on the building, cause were not supposed to be there, and if the
boys saw us, they might not do what they go there to see."

   Then this other girl come talk to me on lunch.  Cause "I heard, you got
dirty pictures?"

   "Uh huh?" I shook my head, "I didn't bring none," that day.

   "Do you play with yourself?"

   "Nhihn!  No.  Do you?"

   "Sometimes."

   "Can I see?"

   "Why, would you want to watch that?"

   "I don't know?  Cause I never seen a girl do it, for real.  I mean I
seen some dirty pictures, and movies, but then a man always comes in, and
screws it up."

   "Hihihn!  Literally!"

   "What do you mean?"

   She made the sign, "Screwing?"

   "Hihihn!  OH!"

   "Hahaha!  You really want to watch?"

   "Well, the boys do it.  So why can't girls get together, and look at it
together?"

   "I don't know, because it's.  Gross?"

   "No it isn't!" Giggle.  "It's just.  Well, I don't know, but it's not.
Gross, at all."

   "Even after, that boy.  Molested you?"

   "Nihinhe didn't molest me."

   "He didn't?"

   "No, I made him beat off for me."

   "Huh!  Why?"

   "I don't know, it was naughty, and I thought it'd be fun?"

   "But, aren't you, in like 4th grade?"

   "No 3rd."

   "Then how come you're into all this.  Sex stuff?"

   "I don't know?  It's neat, and naughty, and fun.  Okay, I guess you're
not interested, I just thought I'd ask you first, being the hottest girl in
school, and."

   "What?  You don't.  Are you gay?"

   "No?"

   "Then why do you think, I'm sexy?"

   "No, but all the boys do.  You got the most boobs, and you are playing
with yourself."

   "Then why do you want to see me naked?"

   "I don't know?  It might be fun, your pretty, and if you haven't noticed
I don't got nothing going on in the boobs department.  Uh!  Sorry I asked,
I just, you know.  I haven't really seen boobs.  For real, and it's
probably going to be years before I get any," I pointed back and forth,
"like that."

   "Oh," she got real red, "Well, okay."

   "What, really?"

   "Yeah, maybe later?  Uh, you want to meet up, after school?"

   "Yeah."

   "Well, if you got any nudie mags, bring them too."

   "Okay, sure."

   "Hey, do you really know any boys, that like me?"

   "Yeah only like all of them?" In our school, anyway.

   "Well, do you know any cool ones?"

   "Well, my brother's pretty cool."

   "Oh, um.  Do you think, he'd like me?"

   "I bet he'd like to see you naked, you wanna see him beat off?"

   "I don't know, maybe?"

   "Well, better get back to class, see you later."

   "Okay."

   So, then I remember it's friday again.  So I had to go to the middle
school to show the girls the old gym, but that means I don't have to run
home for some dirty pictures, cause my brother'll bring them for his
friends.  I wanted to see her play with herself, but we just said later. 
So maybe after that, but we met after school, and I told her what was going
on since I forgot when I was talking to her on lunch.

   "Hey, you got the dirty pictures?" He looked over at my friend, "It's
okay, she wants to see them too."

   "Well, I told the boys you're looking, so they canceled it." Then more
girls started showing up, so I went to tell them.

   A lot of them were mad, that they didn't get to see.  One even said that
I lied, and a lot of them left, but my brother followed me cause he was
still mad, and he heard me tell them.

   "So?" I got mad to, "What's wrong with it?"

   "Telling a bunch of girls?  You could have got us all busted!"

   "We wasn't gonna tell anyone, we just wanted to see!"

   "Why?"

   "Same reason you want to look at girls naked?"

   "But, that's."

   "Naughty, just like you all jerking off together."

   "Yeah, but your all girls!"

   "So?  Why's that make a difference?"

   "Because, it just does!"

   "No it doesn't, and look around at all girls here."

   "So?  Elementry girls."

   "So?  You're just in 7th grade.  Look, most of them are 5th and 6th
graders, right?"

   They all agreed, "You want to see him jerk off?"

   "Yeah!?"

   "What, really?" He looked around, real red.

   "You want to see one of them naked?  Hey, who wants to take your shirt
off, so he can beat off?  Uh!  I can't do it, cause I'm his sister, and I
ain't got no boobs." I saw my new friend, with the best boobs.  "Hey, you
want to show him your boobs?"

   "Uh," she looked around, "I don't know."

   "Okay, well why don't the rest of us, come over here to block the doors.
And keep your eyes out the windows, to see if anyone's coming?"

   "You're really pretty."

   "Yeah?"

   "Well, get it out.  We want to see it."

   "Uh," he looked at me, and covered his pants.

   "Huh!  Okay, I'll go out, and keep an eye out.  But you owe me.  Okay?"
I really wanted to see, but I understand.  He can't do it, with me right
there, because I'm his sister.  I kinda wanted to see it too, but he's kind
of right.  He's my brother, and I did already get to see a boy beat off
before.  So, I went out, and made sure nobody got caught.  It got really
loud, with giggling, and talking, so I had to "Shush!" Them.  "You want to
get caught?"

   We really should do this, a lot later instead of right after school. 
They don't lock it, there's not even a door on the outside any more, and
they're supposed to bulldoze it this summer.  There supposed to last year,
but they didn't finish it, is what I heard.

   "Hey," a boy came around the corner, "Where do you think you're going?"

   "Uh," he put down his head, "Nothing?" Covered his face with a book.

   "Not what I asked," but I giggled, and he run off.  I guess it made up
for missing the show a little, but he trew away his dirty pictures.  I
guess so he didn't get caught with them in case I tell.

   "Huh!" Then, I got an idea.  I looked around, and pulled my underpants
off when no one was looking.  Around the corner, so there was nobody to
look for a second, and I did it real quick, but that felt a lot naughtier.
"Yeah," and maybe I could flash the next boy that showed up if he didn't
hear about it, and get his dirty pictures for my friend.  Maybe I could get
some more naughty fun out of this anyway, or even better get him to come
in, and jerk off for the girls too!

   Then I heard them all cheering, and clapping.  So they started leaving,
but I ran around to the doorway.  "Don't everybody take off at once!" My
brother had his pants up, and his shirt pulled down over them anyway, so I
went in.  "Why don't we come back later this weekend when there's not so
many people around?" Especially grownups, so we can get in trouble.

   "When?" seemed to be the mode.

   "Saturday night, I mean tomorrow maybe around 10?  Then it'll be dark,
and there shouldn't be anyone else around.  Tell your friends, but you know
just the cool ones.  Nobody who's gonna tattle, or do something stupid to
get us caught."

   "Okay," we agreed.

   Hopefully, we'll get more boys, then.  Maybe even some high-school boys,
cause that'd be great!

   "Uh!" she gave me the dirty pictures that boy dropped back.  "I don't
need these." She put her arm around my brother, so we went home together.

   "What's wrong?"

   "Well, it's stupid?  I mean, all the pictures show just the girl, or
mostly.  Sure, you can see there dicks, but what about the rest of the
men?"

   "Well," my brother, "I guess because they're for boys."

   "Well, that's stupid!  Why don't they make them for girls, too?"

   "Well, they do.  You never heard of Playgirl?" She shook her head. 
"Chippendales?"

   "Rescue Rangers?"

   "I thought they made furniture."

   "No, the strip club."

   "Why would girls like a strip club?"

   "Because of the chippendales guys?  You know, male strippers?"

   "They make male strippers?"

   "Yeah.  Huh!" He shook his head, "Actually, I'll see you later." He
kissed her!

   "Where you going!?"

   He got a idea, "I need to go talk to some friends." and then ran off.

   "So," she watched him run off, "You want to go watch me play with myself
now?"

   "Really?"

   "Yeah, I think you earned it," she blushed, "And I really really need
to, now.  So, you can watch me, if you want."

   "Okay!"

   It was okay, I guess.  I got to see it, anyway, and it was way naughtier
then looking at it in magazines, or sneaking peeks at dads movies when he
gets them, but she dont got a thing.  You know, a dick, she calls them
dicks.  Boobs, though.  I finally got to see real boobs, and I hope I get
good ones like that.  There not big, and heavy like I seen, but there
bouncy, and she liked playing with them too.  I bet they'll be fun to play
with when I get some, but I can't really see what she's doing between her
legs with her hand in the way.  Oh yeah, and she's hairy in front, not like
the girls in the dirty pictures, or the movies I seen.  Not really hairy
like the men, but she had some.  She got really smelly though, and I didn't
like that.

   "Hah, han, ahn!" She opened her eyes, then she made a face.  "Huh uh,
how was that?"

   "I don't know, okay I guess."

   "Huh, well thanks." She was really out of breath, and smelly when she
got up, and put on her clothes.  "No really, thanks a lot.  I never thought
I'd get a boyfriend, and you're really cool.  You know that?"

   "Really!?"

   "Yeah, like the coolest girl I know." I felt real proud, cause she's
like a 6th grader, and I can tell, she really means it.  "Thanks!"

   So then I got to think about it all day, and my broter came back, and he
said "I found some dancers.  Don't tell anyone, but they're gay, and they
really like to dance, but they said it might be cool, to dance for a bunch
of girls."

   "Really?  And beat off."

   He nodded, "Yeah, I think they can do that, for eachother, but I don't
know about the other boys."

   "Well, maybe 2 boys will do, and I'll ask my friends, but as long as
they can beat off.  That's what girls really want to see."

   "Nuh uh." His girlfriend said.  They're kissing, and making out now, and
everything, "I want to see them dance, too.  Are they, really muscely?"

   "Not really, well one of them.  I guess, he's got some muscles.  Not
like a football player, but his boyfriend is kind of skinny."

   "Oh, okay.  Well, as long as one of them is, and he's got a pretty big
dick?"

   "I don't know, I guess?  Hey, you're not gonna."

   "Now, don't get jealous.  I like you, and I'm not gonna run off with
some other guy, just because I see him naked.  Even if he's got a better
bod, and didn't you just say there gay?" I guess that made him feel better.
"But how `bout you.  Can you dance?"

   "I guess, a little."

   "Oh yeah?  Let me see."

   "Uh," he looked over at me.

   "It's okay," I got up.  "I need to think anyway," and I really don't
need to watch them fooling around, anyway.  So, I went back to the gym,
cause it was night, and then I saw a problem right away.  Light, cause it's
really dark, and the windows aren't that big, and there's not enough lights
outside.  So, if we want to see anything real good, then we need to bring a
bunch of flashlights, or something.  So, I'm glad I came out here, now what
else can I think of?

   I can just imagine it!  2 guys one kind of muscely, and the other
skinny, and pale?  I guess he didn't say, but I imagine the skinny one is
for some reason, and maybe a nice tan on the muscley one.  I don't know,
but I'm imagining, and all the girls cheering, and watching.  Yeah, it'll
be awesome, but what would be really neat is lining up all the boys. 
Across the stage to beat off, and shoot it all over the floor.  Right here,
so all the girls that want can just get it all over them, and I can just
imagine it shooting all over me until I'm covered in it.

   "Yeah," and everyone seeing me naked, and covered in it.  That would be
awesome, and it's my show.  It was all my idea, but we better get more then
2 guys, and my brother.  He's kind of shy around me, so he doesn't want me
to see it, even though I already did, but he knows all the guys that didn't
make it today.  So, I bet they'll really want to come out, and beat off for
all the girls.

   I can't wait, it's gonna be great!  So, then I went to bed, and thought,
and dreamed about it all night.  Especially all them lined up on the stage
so we can see it, and I get out front naked so they can see me, and beat
off.  So it's like a shower except it's all sticky, and slippery, and I
love it way better then lotion, or water, or soap, or anything.

   "Huh?" So I got up, and took a shower, cause it was gonna be a big busy
day.  I asked my brother if he new any more boys that might like to beat
off for us, even if they can't dance.

   So, he said "I'll see what I can do," and went off to talk to some.

   I had hours, and hours, so I went to find more kids to talk to, and then
this girl ran up.  "Hey, your Astrid, right?"

   "Uh huh?"

   "Well, I heard about your little club."

   "Well, it's not a club, but." I looked around, "Come on." I walked off,
where there was less people walking around, "We're gonna have a little show
tonite," I nodded, "If you're interested."

   "Oh no, I mean.  Well, what I heard is you can get dirty pictures, and
you don't mind looking at some with me?"

   "Well," I guess I could take a break, "I didn't bring none," I forgot
to, "but I got some over at my house, if you want to come look at them."

   "And you like, playing with yourself, when you look at them?"

   "Not really."

   "Why not?"

   "I don't know, cause I guess I got bored with it?  I seen a lot of them,
and after a while it's like watching reruns.  I guess," They don't change
much, "And I got into better things."

   "Like your show?" Uh huh?  "Well, what's that all about?"

   "Well, tonight we're gonna have a couple guys dance for us, and probably
beat off, too."

   "Oh, well.  I don't guess I really want to see that."

   "Why not?"

   "Well, just boys dancing?"

   "And naked, there gonna take there clothes off, too and" did I mention,
"Beat off?" But it wasn't far from my house, since I was mostly hanging
around the neighborhood, where I know everyone.  "Hold that thought," until
I got up to my room, "Close the door." I got the magazines out, and started
flipping through them.

   "Do you have any with any more girls?"

   "Well, there's lots of girls."

   "No, I mean like.  2 girls, together?"

   "Yeah, I think so." I put that one down, and looked through the stack.
"Here's one."

   "Yeah," she took it, and started flipping through it.  "Um," her face
got red, "You mind, if I." She just looked down, in her lap.

   "What it's for," I moved the rest, and got on my bed.  So, she undid her
pants.

   "Huh!" Really red, and she started stinking a little.  "Uh," she looked
over, "You want to fool around, a little?"

   "Like what?"

   "I don't know, maybe take off your clothes, and.  Maybe kissing, a
little?"

   "Oh." I thought.  "Okay." I didn't try it, before.  I saw it, in the
magazine she liked.  "So," I pulled my shirt out, "I guess you're gay,
then."

   "Yeah, are you?"

   "I don't know.  Huh, I don't even, play with myself.  You know?"

   "Why not?"

   "I don't know, I just don't feel like it?"

   "Well, you mind if I kiss you?"

   "I guess." I sat up, so she kissed me.  Just on the lips, I mean she
just touched my lips with hers, but then she felt my leg.  "Uh, you want to
touch my boobs?"

   "Yeah," I looked down, "Okay."

   "Huh!" she took her shirt off.  "You know, you're very pretty."

   "Yeah?"

   "Uh huh." She kissed me again, "You think I'm pretty?"

   "I guess.  Huh, I guess, I'm not gay.  I don't mind fooling around, but.
You know, cause I don't really feel gay?"

   "No?"

   "Not really, I'm sorry." Kind of small boobs, but I played with them
anyway.  Kind of naughty, I guess, just not all that exciting.  She got
real excited though, so.  Okay, I don't really have a problem with it, but
it's kind of like looking at a picture I already seen.  Enough times
before, but I never played with boobs before, and that was kind of neat. 
She really liked me sucking on them, though.

   "Huh!" she wiped her forehead.  She was getting real sweaty, and really
smelly, and I don't really like that.  That smell, so I guess that answers
that question.  Nope, I'm not gay.  It's okay, cause she is, and if I can
help.  Well, that's okay.

   It's kind of like helping girls that never seen a boy naked before, or
beat off, or finding a girlfriend for my brother.  I like that, cause it
makes me feel good, but just not in the way people get all hot and smelly
over it.  "Huh!" She held up the magazine.  "Um, do you want to try this?"
Pointed at a picture, of the girls.  Well, one of the girls kissing the
other, between her legs.

   "Not really."

   "Well," she looked down, "You think, maybe I can try it, on you?"

   "Okay." I hadn't tried that before.  She really liked it, and it felt
kind of neat.  Really wet and slippery, and then I felt something.  Nice,
it felt good, but not like the rapture of pleasure I read about, but I read
about enough things that didn't pan out to realize that a lot of it's made
up.  Like cum tasting yummy.  It wasn't bad, it actually felt pretty good,
and "Ohhh!" She really really liked it.  "Huhuhuh!" Her hand moved really
fast between her legs, so I let her until she had to stop, because she had
an orgasm, and I was happy about that.

   I'm glad, I could help her.  She never had sex with a girl before, so I
was happy to help her with that, and I guess it was good to know I'm not
gay, or even bisexual.  She really is pretty, especially with her face all
red, and it even went down her neck, and all over her body, like between
her boobs.  Trying not to moan too loud, and get us caught.  It was
naughty, and she didn't get us caught.  So, I'm really pretty happy that
they didn't come in to take my magazines away, but it's like playing with
myself.  I tried it, and I guess I'm not ready for that yet.

   "So, anyway." I pulled my underwear up, "If you come by the old gym
tonite, there's going to be a lot of girls there, and I'm sure at least one
of them should be gay, or at least bisexual."

   "Okay," she wiped her mouth, then her whole face.  I let her use the
bathroom to wash her hands, and walked her out.  Then I had to take a
another shower, because I was a mess between my legs.  "Thank you," she
tried to kiss me again, "That was wonderful."

   "Okay," I closed the door, "You're welcome, see you tonight."

   Now, I really need that shower, and a change of clothes.  I felt her
privates, and the hair on it too.  She really liked it when i felt them,
and it was kind of naughty.  I look forward to having that too, but it'll
be a few years I'm sure.  It sure was naughty, so I got the giggles again,
in the shower.  "Darnit!" I forgot to tell her to bring a flashlight!

   Which reminded me.  So, when I got out I went around the house to find
all the flashlights we can, and dads got the lantern in the garage for
camping, but that's dead and it's got this big red block battery we don't
got no more batteries like that for.  He caught me rummaging around, but he
just yelled at me to put some clothes on, so he didn't ask about it.  My
hair was dry anyway, so I took them in my room, and got some clothes on.  I
found a camera to that I threw in the bag, and I guess I might could use
that but I hope the 4 I found with batteries for them will do, and my
brother knows about the flashlights cause I told him this morning.  So,
hopefully he'll remember to tell the other kids he brings, but I put them
in my backpack, with some of the dirty pictures in case I run in to
somebody who wants to look at them again, and tell mom and dad I'm going to
my friends for the night, since they said I can this weekend.  Oh, and
clothes in case I get them dirty, but just a pair of underpants in case I
want to wear them, since I decide not to wear any under my skirt.

   It doesn't even feel naughty no more, I guess I'm used to it now, but in
case I want to put some on, later.  It's a nice day, so I go to the park,
but some boys kicked the younger kids off the playground.  Since i went
back to play gay sex with that girl.  I'm not going to name names, cause
she can get in even more trouble for being gay than just being naughty with
me.  So, I stash my bookbag under the bench, and run up before they can
stop me.  They chase me, but I run around it quick so they all jump down,
then climb up to the top.  Then I pick up my skirt, so they just stop, and
stare.

   "Hey boys, hihihihihn!" It was just so naughty.  "You want to do a show
tonight?" I jump down to the bars, and walk over them to the end with the
swings, but I don't get on the bar over the swings, but they come around to
look up my skirt, under the monkey bars.  "You know the old gym, at the
middle school?" I don't say what one, but the one where they got a new gym,
and started tearing out the old one.  "Well, for a good time meet me there
tonite about 10 oclock, and bring lots of flashlights."

   They ran off, I think to go beat off.  I bet, but that was the best!  So
far it was so fun, and naughty, and exciting!  Especially all them looking
up under the monkey bars to see up under my skirt.  So I climbed down, and
got my bookbag, but the younger kids came back to play on the playground,
since I got rid of all the older boys.  We met up at the library, but I was
way early, so I looked around the card catalog.  There weren't any books on
Pornography, but I found the word Erotica, and I think I know what that
means, and there was an Erotic History with the Karma Sutra, but they don't
have that.  They had some pictures from the 80s, though, and one of them
was real funny, cause I think there was a man in there.  Well, "Joe," it
was called Joe, but he looked like a statue, cause he had so much shiny
black plastic on.  So, I looked up that artist in the Art section, and I
found some more I liked before I checked out, and looked at them waiting on
the bench out front until they started showing up.  One of them was all
flowers, he had another full of Redheads, but I looked at the flowers one,
because it was all in public, by the door where people are coming, and
going.

   The rest know where to go.  So, then we went to the gym before it
started getting dark.  So, we get there first, but not all show up all at
once, so people get suspicious.  It's on the back of the school, and
there's trees around, but the track and field.  So, we can see anyone
coming, except around the building unless I can get somebody to watch the
corners.  Like I did yesterday when all the other kids were cutting across
to the park, but nobody can really see it from the neighborhood around, but
I figure if you saw a whole bunch of kids heading that way all at once
through the park.  They might think it was odd, and go check it out.

   To bad they took out all the bleachers inside.  I guess that leaves more
room open, but still.  Maybe there'd be that many kids, but I doubt it on
the first night, and it'd be nice to have something to sit on.

   Then, somebody remembered "Uh, they used to put a bunch of chairs under
there," she pointed under the stairs.  She went to school there, but now
she's at the high school, but she remembered when they got them all out for
an assembly, or something.  So we kicked the board out of the rectangle.  I
guess it was like a door, but sideways next to the stairs, but sure enough.
It was really dirty, but they had folding chairs, and even a bunch of
tables we could drag out, but I mean really really dirty.  Like so much
dust it came off in grey clumps like dust bunnies, but one of the girls
yelled, "I think I see something!" So, we shined lights in, and a bunch of
girls dragged this big costume out of a Chinese dragon, but nobody could
remember ever seeing it before.

   It had a lot of fabric, though.  So, we tore that up for rags to wipe
all the dust off, and I said to "Save the head." Cause it was cool, and we
played with it some, cause it was fun to pick it up, and work the mouth
like a giant puppet, but then all the dust bunnies got everywhere because
there was a lot of it on all the chairs.  We even brought a boom-box, or
one of the girls did, and there was even a lot of extra batteries for all
the flash lights.  Which is good, because when we tried to plug it in, we
found out the must have cut off the power.  Cause they don't use the old
gym no more, and it's a good thing they stopped tearing everything out
before this school year started before they took out the stage, or they
would've found the tables and chairs, and we had the stage to use, and I
guess the dragon head was just a good bonus.  So we put it up on the stage
in front of the doors into the school.  They was locked, so you couldn't
get in the school, but we could prop the head up in the doorway so it
didn't just roll off.  The girls even decorated some more with the leftover
cloth from the body.  After we shook all the dust out from cleaning off the
chairs, and swept it all under the stage, but you could still smell the
needles from the pine brooms, but we had it all set up.

   So, we put the radio on, and the boys started dancing, and taking
eachother's clothes off.

   Then, another girl remembered a trick where you can take pine branches,
and tye them together to make a broom with all the needles.  So we tore up
strips from the costume for that, and made brooms to sweep it back under
the stage.  So, that kept us busy for a while until my brother showed up
with some of the boys, but it was dark so we had to get the flashlights
out, and shine them up on the stage.

   "All right," I got up there, "Come on up, did he tell you what this is
all about?"

   "Well," the bigger one said, "He told us you all want to watch us
dance." Good, cause he just took off with his girlfriend again, but I
guessed they could go get more boys.  If they ain't too busy making out in
the park.

   "Naked." One of the girls.  Again not naming names, cause we can all get
in trouble.

   "Yeah, he said that." They looked at each other.

   Just the 2 boys, and I didn't know they were gay, but my brother told me
about it earlier.

   I asked them about it, and showed her some pictures in the library book
I checked out, cause a lot of them were gay, but beautiful, and I wondered
if they thought it was hot.

   They told me about how they met here, "We came to the circle jerk, to
look at the boys, but they got caught looking, and they kicked us out for
being gay." "Yeah, but that's how we found out there was 2 of us, so we
didn't have to come back."

   I got out the book for them, the only one with gay pictures in it, but I
had a hold on his other ones.  There was one of a Lady, I think, but i
forget her name.  Lady something something, whatever her name was, but it
was checked out.  They looked so sweet, holding the book between them, and
looking at the pictures.  I'm glad I found a gay artist for them.

   "Ooh!" He pointed out one.  "Huhuha!  I don't know if I want to try
that."

   "Well, where'd we get a whip?"

   "But look at that," I pointed out, "It's a tail.  I think he's a
satanist too, I know he's into tying people up and, pain.  Stuff, but he's
doing the devil, and that's his tail." It's a self portrait, but there's no
other title, just 1983.  "I don't know why other people don't see this
stuff."

   They laughed, "Yeah, we do."

   "Oh, look at him!"

   "He's black though."

   "And bald, but look at all his muscles!"

   "Yeah, he's beautiful, but look at how it's framed, and the lighting so
you can see the curves even on the blackground." In black and white, but
like a circle in a bright wall, which really helped the light shine on his
dark skin.

   So, they don't get it.  Yeah, it turns them on, but they don't really
see it, neither.  "Uh!  You want to put some music on?"

   I thought they would, cause gays are into Art, but then they got up, and
I guess cause there dancers.  And that's like an art, but it's not.  Well,
it looks really good, but they can't see it.

   "Take it off!"

   The girls gathered around the chairs, but there was a lot of empty ones,
like half of them so they don't even have to sit together.

   So, I got up, and yelled in my hands so everybody could hear all the
rules I thought up.

   "No touching.  I mean, you can touch eachother boys.  If you want to,
but this is just a show.  So, if you get excited, and want to play with
yourselfs, that's fine, but if you want to go have sex, then go somewhere."
I point out the doorway, "Out there, and find a makeout spot or something.
Okay?"

   "Okay!" They all agree.

   "Huh!" That girl, I had sex for earlier.  She just walked out with this
other girl, but from there, I saw them hold hands when they walked out
before they walked off.  "Good.  Uhm, now no telling.  Okay?  If you don't
like it, or feel weird, then go.  You don't have to stay, and nobody's
gonna make you.  Got it?  Nobody makes anyone do anything they don't want,
but if you tell then everyone here will find out who tattled.  Look
around." They all did, "Don't think you can tell on all of us, and we won't
figure out who did it.  See?  Okay, so if you don't want to see this leave,
but if you want to take your clothes off."

   All of a sudden, I just stopped.  Pulled up my dress by the skirt, and I
already had my blouse unbuttoned on top, so I took it off, too.

   "Hh, there." Everyone was looking at me!  Still, but now I was naked,
except my shoes, and socks, so they could all see me, and now I felt like a
star, even though they were all looking at me, and listening to me all day.
I didn't think about it until I was naked, and it was the most exciting
thing I ever felt yet!

   "You can take off whatever you want, but if you don't want someone
looking at you.  Tell them, and if they don't stop looking, tell your
friends, and they'll make them stop."

   That's what I figured out.  All by myself I'm still the youngest, and
the smallest here.  I guess most kids my age aren't interested, but they
could all gang up on me if they wanted to.  They don't want to, because I
made this all happen all this was all my idea.  Honestly they owe me for
that, but that goes for everyone.  "If someone does anything you don't
like, then tell your friends, and they can help.  That way, you don't have
to handle it all by yourself."

   Then, I ran out of what all I wanted to say.  So, I went down the stairs
to watch the show, and it was okay.  2 guys, and you can tell they're
really in love, so I guess it's like boys looking at gay girl porn.  Nobody
loves eachother like gays, I bet.  The, I got bored, and watched the crowd
instead.  They was all watching the boys, but it was nice having 2
different boys.  So if you like the big one, he's not really that muscly,
but he had wide shoulders, and his boyfriend was tall and skinny, but if
you like that, then you can look at him instead.

   "Turn around!" Someone yelled, "Show us your butts!" So, they did, and
it was really starting to smell in there.  I didn't think about that, but
all those girls.  A lot of them had their skirts up, and their underwear
down, or their pants down, and feeling around inside.

   "Uh!" So, I made my way around the side of the the chairs.  Since I
didn't think to leave it open in the middle, but there I could see the
door, and if any more guys showed up, but you couldn't see me from the
door. So I didn't have to put my clothes back on right away, I picked up my
backpack, and put put my clothes away.  There really was a lot lying around
now, so I put it on so it didn't get lost.

   Then, more boys started showing up, but alone.  One by one, instead of
together, but by then the 2 dancers had beat off, so they just dangled, and
swung while they danced.

   "What the." I ran up.

   "Hey, glad you could make it." Before he ran off.

   "What is this?' He just looked around, but by now, there was a lot of
naked, and half naked girls around in the chairs, so they barely looked at
me.

   "Ooh!" I took his arm, "You look really strong!" Lucky he's a high
school boy, and if he wasn't a football player, it looked like he could be
if he wanted to.  "The girls are gonna love you!"

   "Oh yeah?" In fact, some of the ones in the back heard me, and turned
around.

   "Yeah." I looked back, but some were getting up.  Others, covered up, or
moved away, but there was a few, topless even.

   "Yeah, why don't you take your shirt off, and show them your muscles."

   "Yeah." One of them nodded, and bit her lip.  "Fair's fair."

   "Okay," he just looked around, grinning, and pulled out his shirt.  The
radio ran out of batteries, but the dancers were getting tired anyway, I
guess.

   "Go on up on stage, so they can all see you." I followed him, and
explained the rules on the way.  So, I kept doing that for a while, going
back and forth from the corner, to the door, and leading the boys around to
the stage, but they showed up slow enough that I got to watch the show in
between a lot too.  That first one got right up, and took a chair.  To sit
on when he took off his shoes, but he didn't dance.  He just took his pants
off, and he had a bigger one, and he flexed his muscles a lot instead of
dancing.  Not as big as the men in the dirty pictures, but the girls went
really wild.  He really had a lot of muscle, and even some hairs on his
chest, and under his arms, and on his thing of course, but they loved it,
and cheered, and yelled for stuff for him to do.  He had a great time too,
flexed his muscles a lot, and showed off his butt when the girls called up
to him.  He really had a great time, but didn't beat on it a lot.  He
didn't even beat off, he just showed off, a long time until another boy
showed up, and I explained what we're doing.  The rules, and all that, but
the jock got down, and a lot of girls got up to talk to him.

   Then I met Jang.  Well, he said, it sounded like "Jane?" but it was
pretty loud in there.

   So, he shook his head, and said it again, "JainG!" only the G louder. 
It later turned out he just spells it Jang, but it sounds more like Jane
with a G on the end.

   "You want to show off for the girls?" He looked over at the stairs to
the stage, but just shook his head.  "Why not, you're real pretty." Then, I
said "Sorry," when I saw his face.  He didn't look mad, I don't think, I
guess it was sad, but really it looked painful to me.  Like it hurt?  "Guys
can be pretty too, you know.  There's nothing bad about it, I didn't know
boys don't like compliments like that."

   "Well, girls don't like it."

   "Yeah huh?  I'm a girl, and I like it."

   "You do?"

   "Yeah, I really.  Well, I never saw a guy as beautiful as you before."

   "Well," he scratched his hair, "Thank you, I guess." And blushed, kind
of taking the compliment better, but at least he didn't get mad that time.
"I just get teased about it, a lot.  All the girls my age, and most of the
girls that go to my school are taller than me, and say what you will, but
I'm not very comfortable with that." I understand that.

   "Well, don't listen to them.  They just want to make a good thing sound
bad." Actually, like the mean girls call me Bossy, so.  "The girls call you
that, or was it other Boys?  Yeah, well I guess it makes them feel like a
man, making you feel bad for being pretty, but they're just jealous they
aren't as beautiful as you."

   "You're pretty too, but you're really smart, so you really set this all
up, yourself?"

   "No.  With my brother, and our friends, and I'm making all kinds of
friends from it too." He took off his jacket, but still had all the rest of
his clothes on.  "So, why'd you come here, if you didn't want to show off
for girls?"

   "Hah, not girls, You." Ohhh!  "Well, I heard so much about you, but I
didn't know what to believe?"

   "Yeah?" He noticed I was naked, and looked at my body, but when we
talked he looked at my face.  "So, what you hear about me?"

   "I don't know, a lot of bullshit, obviously but they didn't say you're
going to be so." Okay, pretty but also smart, and "Charming?" Nobody called
me that before, and it was even better then when somebody called me pretty,
and ment it, or even pretty and smart!

   He has black eyes, and they're not really squinty, they just got deeper
corners then most people, but I like them.  Too, with his face, his whole
face is pretty, and his straight black hair.  I remember thinking it might
be nice if he grew it out long, since it's so black, and straight, and
shiny in the flashlights.  I guess we didn't really say anything for a
while, I just stood there, and looked at him.  He has such beautiful eyes,
so dark the flashlights shine really bright in them like sparkles.

   Until another boy showed up.  So, "Um, I need to go talk to him," and I
looked at my watch.

   "Well, what about him?" I looked back.  At Jang, he took his jacket off,
but he just held onto it.  Still in his shirt, and jeans, but he stuck his
thumb in the pocket, to hold up his jacket.  "How come he doesn't have to
get naked." Leaned up in the corner, like a blue jeans ad.

   I shook my head, "Neither do you, but that's what it's all about.  If
you want to show off, and for girls to see you naked.  Then one of them is
sure to like you." I waved my hand at the audience.  "You want a girl to
like you, right?" He already had his shirt pulled off, and took it off. 
"Good, now why don't you come around here, where they can see you better.
Right around this way." He followed me around, the corner where he could
see the stairs up.  "No touching though, and if one of them says not to
look at her, stop.  Okay?"

   "Yeah."

   "There's plenty of girls here."

   "Yeah." He turned, on his way down the wall, and even started walking
backwards.  Looking at all the girls, until he tripped on the stairs.  A
lot of girls laughed, but some of them got up, and helped him up.

   "Oh," I better go remind them.  When i really just want to hang out with
Jang, but it's my show, so.  "No touching?"

   "But," the giggled, "He's so cute!"

   "Yeah, are you okay?"

   "Yeah, that looked like a pretty bad tumble you took there."

   "No," he grinned, "I'm fine."

   "And they get to touch eachother." Well, the dancers did show the new
guy some moves until the music ran out.

   "Okay," I shouted in my hands, "New rule: No touching without
permission, but ask first, and still no sex.  Got it?  Ask first, and if
you want to do anything, go out and find someplace else." I turned to the
chair.  "And let the other girls see.  Girls?  Don't block their view, this
show is for everyone." From there, I could see some of the girls, even
turned the chairs around so they could put there feet up.  "Uh!"

   "Okay, Astrid."

   So, I headed back down the stairs, but looked up, in the spotlight.  It
was pretty dark in the corner, with most of the lights up on the stage, but
I guessed it was Jang, and I was right.  He borrowed a light, to shine on
me, and watch me come back.

   "Here," I held out my hand, and he gave it to me.  "Okay, now let me see
you." I held the light, down, the front of him.

   "Okay," he stood up straight.

   "No, take your clothes off.  I want to see your body."

   "Oh yeah?"

   "Yeah," I looked down, "Fair's fair, here I am naked, but I don't get to
see your body?"

   "Well," he turned red, "I don't really have much, of a body.  I mean."

   "Yeah, but I bet you have a beautiful body, and I want to see it." I
helped him pull his shirt off first, but his nipples wer so dark on his
flat chest.

   "Well, okay," he unbuttoned his jeans next, and I covered my mouth.  He
pulled out his thing, and I giggled.  "What?"

   "Why's it so dark?"

   "I don't know," he held it out and looked.  "It is?" Shrugged.

   "Huh!" He had a skin on the end, and I'd seen that before, but not a
lot. Most boys don't, but he had that, and some hairs too.  Straight hairs,
not a lot, I could even see his pale skin through them, but I never saw
straight hairs on one before, either.

   "What?" I guess I was still giggling, because he covered it up.

   "It is pretty!"

   "Really?"

   "Yeah," and why was it, starting to warm up?  "Golly, why.  I think
that's the most beautiful thing I ever seen!" It's not supposed to get
warmer, at night.  Right?  It was just, "Um." Not even 11 yet, but it was
really starting to warm up?  "Huh!" It started sticking up.  "Um," I bit my
lip, "Would it be okay." New rule, "If I touch it?"

   "Okay," he let it go, but he was really blushing now, and I could see
it!

   "Hihihn!" The end was pink!  I covered my mouth, but just held the skin
back.  I never seen a oriental one before, but for some reason, it's tan.
Almost brown, except on the inside.  Which had the cutest little pink head,
and I had to squat to hold it up.

   "Huh!" It looked up like a heart!?  I mean up side down, but I looked
around.  "Uh," Looked up, "You want to go out, to the park?" I licked my
lips, but it's my rule, and if I break my own rules right in front of
everybody then nobody has to follow them, but I really wanted to right now.

   "Okay."

   I put my bag down, under my legs, and I didn't think about it.  I should
have asked, that was the other rule, but I guess we're outside.  So, I
didn't really break them, but I really should have asked before I put it in
my mouth.  He didn't mind, but I should have asked first.  It just tasted
sweaty, but then I pulled the skin back again, and my mouth filled with the
best flavor I have ever tasted!  "Hmh!"

   I couldn't keep my eyes open, but then I started thinking that were
mammals.  So, it make sense like babies, and little kids sucking their
thumbs.  I don't remember that, but I know they do, and I guess it was like
that.  Maybe, not at all like that girls nipples, but I'm not gay so what
does a girl like me suck on?  To get some milk out of maybe, but I just
loved it.  Sucking on it, and swirling it around with my tongue to get as
much of that flavor as I can, but he grunted right away.

   I tasted it, and it's not really like milk at all, but he tastes kind of
cheezy inside, so I let it pop out, and held the skin back.  It's dark, so
I can't really watch it like I wanted to, but I closed my eyes so I didn't
get any in them.  "Mmh!" But I finally felt it, like I always dreamed of,
only better.  "Hmmmmnh!" Just nod, so the last of it dribbles on my nose.
All over my face, it was warm, and wet, and sticky, and slippery when I
wiped it all over my face with both hands.  "Huhhh!  Yeah!"

   I felt funny, inside too.  I had to wipe my hands, I remembered to,
because they can swim.  Sperms, they're supposed to swim in and make you
pregnant, and I don't want to get caught.  If that happened, I surely would
get caught, and ruin everything, but I wiped my hands off on his shirt, and
feel to see if I was wet.  I wasn't, like the stories always said girls are
supposed to get wet like boys get hard.  I still felt dry, but also weird.
Not even like me at all, but fat between my legs, and that's why it don't
really feel like me.  I feel fatter, just in front, and between my legs,
but it was so hot, and fat, and now it felt so good just to rub it with my
hand.

   I tried to play with myself, because everyone does when they look at
dirty pictures, and I even wondered what was wrong with me.  Now I felt
hot, and I guess that's why I felt hot in the corner of the old gym.  As
soon as I saw it, they said it in the stories too, you get hot and wet, but
I just got hot.  I just forgot that's what's supposed to happen, I just
thought it was warming up for some reason, instead that I was getting hot,
but I did.  Not when I looked at dirty pictures, or even movies before, not
even when that gay girl did oral sex on me that very afternoon, but it was
like love at first sight.  As soon as I saw it, and how beautiful his thing
was I got so hot, and I just wanted to suck him off right away.  "Wow!"
That was so fun!  I tried to imagine, but I had no idea!

   Then he was there down on his knees in the dirt.  He fixed his pants,
but then he was kissing me, and feeling me all over my body to make me
tingle more and more.  My nipples felt hard in his fingers.  Not like when
it gets cold, they felt hot, and the air felt so cold, but just touching
them, they tingled, and I tingled all over, especially in my hand between
my legs, and that made feeling it even better.  Then he kissed one, and it
just overwhelmed me, so he had to hug me so I didn't fall down.  "Ohhhh!"
God!  It didn't even feel naughty, or exciting, just so wonderful.  I just
fell back, and breathed as fast as I could until it slowly went away. 
Still tingling like my foot fell asleep except all over especially my head,
and I could feel every hair on my head, and then.  "HhUhn!" I just relaxed,
but he felt up my neck, and pushed my head down, and kissed me again.

   Only then, I realized he was down, on his knees in the dirt.  So it was
like I was a little taller, up on my backpack like that.

   {And from here on out, she's no longer asexual.

   .

   .}

   Xhu Jang (mg Cons)

   She pulled something out of her backpack, to wipe off her face.  "It's
late," she checked her watch, "You want to walk me home?" It wasn't until I
saw her turning them inside out, to wad them up, I realized they're
panties.

   "I'm parked over at the hotel." Standing there in a Backpack, a pink
plastic digital watch, tennis shoes, and ankle socks.

   "Why?"

   "Well, the diner." It's 24 hour.

   "Well, you got any money?"

   "What for?"

   "I'm hungry.  I skipped dinner, and I guess it's technically early now."

   "Yeah," I didn't think about it, "Let's get something to eat, but.  You
might want to put some more clothes on?" Yup, I did have to remind her she
was still basically naked.

   "Oh yeah," she pulled some out of her backpack.  Like she always wore,
buttoned up a blouse, then pulled on a dress over it, but not her dirty
underwear.

   "You really," like?  "Seem to be more comfortable, naked." She just
didn't care.

   "So?" That's what she had to say about it.  Then she's quiet, then she
thinks a moment, and then the words spill back out again, faster than she
can really think about how she says it.  I think.  "Uh!  This isn't
natural. We made this, so men can force it on girls, make us ashamed of our
bodies.  We have body hair, too.  Ew, look at that girl's hairy legs." She
flipped up her skirt.  Of course, she doesn't have any, but I get the
point. "Nhihin!  I guess I should wait to see what it feels like, but even
the porn girls, they reverse psychology on us, or supermodels.  The sexy
girls don't have body hair.  That's disgusting, why?  It's okay for men,
but girls?  Were mammals too.  Look at their chests, see?  Mammals." Not
her's of course.  She doesn't have those any more than body hair. 
"Hihihihn!  The worse one I ever heard, and they say this, all the time is:
What if the children see?  Breasts.  Think about that a second.  We're
MAMMALS!" I laughed too.  "And yet, we've gotten so deluded, as a culture,
that we're told to cover up the organs that're designed for feeding
children, or somehow it will mess up our minds." She giggled, "So they call
me slut, when I never even had sex before.  Your the first thing even
touched, but I was curious.  There was this girl, but that didn't work out,
and she found another girl, and I hope there happy together.  But, Uh! 
It's really not even fair that girls get so sexualized, all the time, and
yet basically have no way to even see boys naked, while boys can be as
sexual as you want, and everyone just ignores that to the point of covering
up child molesters, in churches!"

   It's not even sexual to her, it's Natural.  "It's Arbitrary."

   "Hm?"

   Shake my head, "Sorry, that's what you're talking about.  Like letters,
numbers, calling this a hand." I put it back down, "Doesn't need to be
called a hand, could just as easily be.  I don't know a dingbat or
whatever, but they arbitrarily called it a hand."

   "Yeah." she looks up, "Arbitrary." She doesn't know what it's called,
she just knows.

   "I suppose it's for money."

   "How so?"

   "Well, like your clothes, for example.  No pockets, so you have to carry
a purse." Uhuh?  "For your makeup, your hairbrush, whatever else you have
to carry around in there, but you have, a more.  Well, you have more Kit.
Girls have all this extra stuff you have to buy, but with the glass
ceiling, you can't afford to buy it."

   "Yeah!"

   "So, it's like economic control.  You need a man, to get all the
mandatory equipment they require of a girl, and the bag to carry it all
around in." She just uses her bookbag, "But that means you don't have to
have pockets.  Ooh!" I just thought up another one, "And hold my purse. 
Guys are like.  Supposed to get ashamed, to be seen holding a purse. 
That's one I never got, because obviously, if you're holding a purse at the
mall, for instance.  That means you have a girl, which is how you prove
your manhood.  I mean yeah, you're supposed to have a nice car, and all
that other stuff, but really, as far as I can tell, being a Man comes down
to the woman, or women you can attract.  That's the ultimate male
accessory, but to be seen holding her purse, proof positive you have a
woman, they use that to emasculate you."

   "Huh!  Yeah, I think you're right." She thought, "Or maybe, they just
lie because they're jealous.  I mean, it's so obvious, like you said he's
probably holding the purse for his girlfriend, so Ha ha!  You're holding a
purse, like a fag!"

   "Yeah," makes sense, "So anyway, my pet theory is everything in America
eventually comes back around to money."

   "So, what's China like?"

   "I don't know," I have to laugh, "I've never even left this state, but I
don't have to go there to be Chinese." I pulled my eyes out.  "You can see
it, so I'm Chinese, not American.  Nowadays, I guess Russia good, China
bad. They even ask me if I'm a spy for North Korea, when I don't even look
Korean, but they don't have to learn that."

   "They don't have to learn anything.  This is America, learn to talk
American."

   "Right, if you're latino, or go back to Africa if you're black.  Oh,
there's another one that just boggles the mind.  How the hell are they
supposed to go back to Africa?  If you didn't want all these African
Americans here, then why did they bring them here in the first place?  I
can't even afford to go back to China, and I'm supposed to be a doctor or
something.  I'm Chinese, but here they have different standards, and I look
young to them.  Honestly, it's racist, but I'm not going into the long and
complicated history of my country.  It would take too long, and it really
isn't that important to my life.  I don't even care if you call me Jane any
more, or Chang, much less how you decide to spell it, because honestly, you
wouldn't know how to hold the brush.  Those 3 characters just happen to be
all I know of Calligraphy, and I don't have a middle name.  Regardless,
most people can't believe I'm 16, a Sophomore, not a math genius, and my
parents don't care if I don't become a doctor."

   "So, that's a bigger deal.  To you looking young then being Chinese?"

   "And a lot of adults treat me like a kid, even some of my teachers, talk
to me like one because I'm small, and I also look so young."

   Seat yourself.  So, a booth back in the corner, away from anyone, but
it's late, and not real crowded.

   "So?  It doesn't mean were stupid!"

   Okay, she says "Were" instead of "We're." I'm not going to correct her
on that, any more than what she wears, because she's right.

   "Hehaha!" She laughed with me.

   "So," I suppose "It's like Congfu."

   "What about Kung Fu?"

   "Koong Fu,"

   "Sorry, Koong Fu."

   "Well," I took her hand, "It's everything.  Here, they think it's a
martial art, and then tell me what Confuchas say', but really, that's what
Congfu means.  Same word, Congfuxue' means wise old man.  Which is why all
the sayings of China are attributed to `Him.' It means, wise men say..."

   "So, what about it?"

   "Oh yeah," I ment, "Well, anything can be an art, if you dedicate your
life to it.  Like your, anatomical study of people?" As I understand it,
she nodded.  "Okay, so if you became an artist, like Davinchi, or a doctor,
and you mastered the knowledge of how the body is designed in all it's
variations.  Well, of course you would never know all of it, but that could
be an art, to you."

   "I mean.  It's not just anatomy that fascinates me, it's sexuality, like
you said `in all it's variations.' I thought it was naughty, because that's
what I was taught.  The arbitrary Naughty that means everything from
swearing when you get a papercut to a French maid Halloween costume."

   "Uh huh?" I nodded, "What about it?"

   "Well, not like a whore, but I was thinking, professionally.  I think my
art is, well for lack of a better word, Pornographic."

   "So like an artist."

   "Yeah, I guess.  I've been doing a lot of reading, and looking at the
art of Erotica, and it's all the variations.  Like the difference between
H. R.  Giger, and Robert Mapplethorpe."

   "Giger's the Aliens guy, right?"

   "Yeah, and a bunch of other stuff, but most of it is Alien,
Biomechanical, or both." Big coffee table books, from the library, but she
pulled another one out from under the Necronomicon.  "There both erotic,
even the pictures of Flowers, but you know they're genitals, right?"

   "Hadn't thought about it, but I guess you're right."

   "Well, he could show that, in black and white, just from the way he shot
it." All Calla Lilies.

   "I guess," I had to tilt my head, a little.  "Yeah, I think I can see
that."

   "Well, that's the point, this isn't even Human.  Not even Mammals, nor
vertebrates, or Animals.  Ain't even the same Phylum," That would be
kingdom, technically.  "but because of Koongfu, he can somehow capture
that, so you or I can see it.  Even though I'm a girl, and you're a
straight man."

   "Huh!" I nodded, "So, photography?"

   "I don't know, I'm still doing the research, but both of these are
subtly erotic enough, I can just pull them out here in front of everyone."
If they don't listen too closely to us.  "Because they don't want to see
it. It's like Mammal denial, or not seeing the pedophile with the altar
boys.  It's right there," she tapped the page, right in the middle of
Passage, "but they can't see it, because they don't want to."

   "Oh," and I've seen it.  I just looked around, right now, and I can't be
sure if they assume that I'm in middle school, and she is too, but we can
sit right here.  With her in my lap so she's even a little taller, she can
lean down and kiss me, quickly, with Giger's big book of erotic horror
spread on the table, and they look away.

   They see it, I can see them see it.  Then look away, and forget about it
because they don't want to.  Then she whispers, `that's what I call
naughty.'

   `And that's why I don't want to have sex,' I lowered my voice too, `huh,
now." Since the night we met, "Because this is more intimate.'

   "Yeah, but." She bit her lip, "I got a camera.  So, I think maybe we can
start, trying to capture your beauty." She pulled it out of her backpack.

   "Okay." And she makes me feel beautiful.  "But, I'm only sixteen."

   "Yeah, but that just gives us a couple years to practice.  So, no
nudes." She shrugged, "But I can't even take Art yet."

   "I can, as an elective next year." Could have last year, I just wasn't
interested before.

   "Good, but we can worry about showing the world later.  For now, we can
do it for us."

   "Yeah," I kissed her back, "That sounds great." So we could start.

   "So, you kids," she looked us over, "Want something?"

   "Well, she's hungry, so a menue'd be nice." She just dropped over the
disturbing images in the book on the table, but left the flowers open in
her lap.  "And I could go for a pot of coffee." I yawned.

   .

   {Shuffle shuffle shuffle...}

   .