Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Special Ed {Mgbfm Lies Moll Rape Virg)

   Psyche Notes: Because he has no idea, but the narrator isn't mentally
handicapped.  He's a Sadistic Sociopath, escalating to Anger-Retaliatory
Rape.  I didn't understand this when I wrote it, I just knew the type from
personal experiences I'm not going into.  This is one of my first therapy
pieces, to try and understand the pathology behind it, but an idealized
"Perfect storm" Example of predisposition, upbringing, and opportunity. 
This literally never happens IRL.  Any opinions, and rationales expressed
are the character's, and pretty much are direct opposites of mine, but it's
told this way to convey the mindset.

   Incidentally, the story code Lies means some of the following chapter
contains intentional falsehoods.  Among other things, he's a pathological
liar, and tries to justify his actions, or at least rationalize one of his
victims as consensual sex.}

   Rick {mm/g Tard Spaz Lies}

   "Nyeh!" I don't know who said it first, but the boy in back jumps, and
starts hunching.  "Nnyyerrgh!" not twisted up like the rest of the 'tards,
he looks calm, surprised, but can't stop throwing himself back in the
chair.

   "Thunk!" the front legs hit the floor, and he throws himself back again.

   "Ah, damn!" the teacher gets up.  "Eddie," she whispers, "It's okay
Eddie."

   "Hey!" he jumps, and the teacher catches the desk before it falls over.
"What's wrong with him?" I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him.

   "YaiiiigH!" he screams, and hits me, and jumps out of his seat.

   KuKNGK!  the desk slams down, and now evryone is screaming, crying, or
yelling "Ngeee!"

   "Gyeii!" another one pops up, drool flinging off, arms twisted.

   "Kmon," she picks him up, "Eddie," and takes him to the little room next
to the door.  "You!" she points from the door, "Gitinhere!" and stabs down
at her feet.

   "Uh," I hurry, "Sorry m',"

   "Watch him!" she almost shoves me in there, "Make sure he don't hurt
hiself."

   "Okay?" EAIEIEIEIEIEI!  he's still curled up, hugging his knees, and
screaming like when she carried him in, but on his side in the corner.

   "Yaieieiei!"

   "nge/SLAM!" The door cut off the retarded chorus of "NYR"s, but the
screaming was so loud.  Turned into the corner, it echoed around the little
room, and made my head hurt.

   I couldn't stop it no matter what, but he was so helpless on the floor.
I could've kicked him, or stomped him, or slapped his face all I want, but
I didn't, it wouldn't help any.  Besides, I was used to screaming,
sometimes slept right through it.

   So I set down, and covered my ears, and watched him.  I wished I knew
what was wrong so I could stop him screaming, but he looked so scared.  Not
looking at nothing, just staring at the corner, hugging his knees, gasping
another breath for another scream.

   "Yahhhhhhhhh!" his voice was getting rough, but he wasn't crying, his
eyes were dry anyway.

   Kinda like my old girlfriend.  The year before that, she had downs
syndrome, and didn't talk, or write, or nothing.  She liked me, though, and
watched me pee in the ditch behind the portables.  Then she picked up her
skirt, and squatted down, and pulled down her panties, and let it out in a
trickle.

   Her face screwed up, and she grunted, but didn't pull her tongue back in
her mouth.  It always stook out, like she was making fun, but her face
wasn't smiling, and she drooled.  Kinda a pudgy face, but cute, like baby
fat.  "Didn't your mom tellya you got to wipe?" I showed her with her
skirt.

   Her lips sure were fat, and thick, and smooth under the soft fabric. 
"PNT!" a playground ball bounced over the portable, and I let go between
her legs before the boys came around after it.  "What're you looking at?"
he looked down from the top of the ditch, "Retards?"

   Mom said I was slow.  Okay, she called me retard too, and stupid, and
ugly.  She put me in the special classes, anyway, cause I'm so dumb.  I
didn't have no way to get a normal girlfreind, and Tammy was dumb too, so I
guess it was okay.

   But we had to get a better place to play.  We couldn't leave school, so
I got one of the boards loose around the bottom of the portables, and
snucked under there after lunch.  Recess, we could go out as soon as we was
done eating.

   Anyway, she was real little, and climbed under there real quick.  Kinda
pudgy, but at least she wasn't all twisted, and Nyah.  Like baby fat, I
could take her close off under there, and touch her, and show her how to
play with me.  Getting hard all the time then, I even got a few pricks of
stubble, and short little hairs before the year was over.

   I was twelve, and in six grade, so after summer, I went to middle
school, and didn't see her no more.  I could remember her, and got hard
even with the screaming.  Looking back at the door, I moved the chair so it
was behind me, and stuck my hand down my pants.

   So helpless, curled up on the floor, pants tight around his but.  About
my age, I had more stubbles, and 7 hairs now.  I was even cumming, more
than that clear sticky drop that first time.  Closing my eyes, I remember
waking up, going to pee, but to hard to.  The noises, mom, and dad.

   The crack in the door, comming around to the bed.  "AH!" mom's head,
hair shaking around it.  Dad behind her, squeezing her but, pulling back,
thick and hard like I woke up, but hairy.  PAP!  "Uhn!"

   "HhHhHhuH!" it twitched out, wetting my pants, and hand.  I slipped it
out, cupping it, looking at it.  White, thick, pastey, like a dose of
conditioner, or lotion.

   "HhuhH!" Eddie took a breath.  I got down on the floor with him, hugged
him screaming.  I reached down between his legs, and tummy.  He took
another breath, and I slipped my wet sticky hand down his pants.

   "Uh?" he blinked.  Soft, but he stopped screaming a seccond. 
"Aiaiaiaiaih!"

   He slipped softly in my fingers.  He had skin around the head, and I
slipped it in, and out.  Squeezing it, he got hard.  I know, it's gay, but
it made him scream less anyway.  "HhuhH!" he took a breath, "HhH!" I felt
him twitch, slipping in my hand.  "Uh!" He wet my hand, in sticky splashes,
and stopped screaming.

   I got up, wiped my hand on the inside of my shirt, and fixed his pants.
"Huh huh huh!" he panted like a puppy.

   "Uh," I stuck my head out the door, "Miss?"

   It was his first time.  He didn't know how to play with hiself, and
nobody ever touched him long enough cause he always screamed.  That first
time, she put me in there to punish me for setting him off, and the whole
room like a fire.  She had them calmed down by then.

   Anyway, she let me calm him down whenever he got an episode on accounta
I was so good at it.  He'd stop as soon as I touch him, already hard, and
cum in my hand.  Poking his but with mine, it really started getting gay
then.  It was so dirty, and I got off just rubbing it between his butt,
through our pants, his peeny in my hand.

   That's what I always called them back then.  First, I couldn't say
"Penis," but then I guess it sounded cuter.  A penis is like a dick, or
cock, grown up.  Ours was littler, so I called them peenys.  Anyways, he
was getting hair on his too, and cumming already, and playing with hiself.
I mean, the teacher caught him with his hand down his pants in class, and
sent him to isolation.

   I know he just stroked off, but I couldn't go in there with him.  That
got me hard, so I just asked to go to the bathroom.  Just across the hall,
the Handicapt Lavatory so the retards don't get lost.  Just a sink, and
toilet, there's bars on the walls for the wheelchair kids.

   So, I stroked off, and stayed hard a while, and kept slipping it in my
hand until it went soft.  It got so I could set him off, and I knew nobody
would come in when I was calming him down, so the next time, I curled up
with him right away.

   This time, I undid his pants, and pulled them down.  I liked his screams
then, they would drown out any sound, and I could get away with anything.
"Yngh!" I jerked him off, and undid my pants with my dry hand.  Wetting
behind his balls, I slipped my peeny in it, and squeesed his but around it.

   "NhHhHhHhH!" I cummed like right away, and fixed our pants quick cause
he stopped screaming.  I started getting bored, though.  Even the dirtiness
of it being so gay was getting less exciting, or the possibility of
somebody comming in.  I didn't even think about it, which was scary and
would get me caught.

   So anyway, there was only one thing left.  The next time I fucked him,
but thought about Tammy the whole time.  The last day of school, I was
growed enough, and fucked her.  She cried cause it hurt, but I felt it pop.
Just like his but when it relaxed, and I slipped in his own cum.

   He started screaming again, and that made his but tight.  "HhuhH!" he
took a breath, and relaxed for me to fuck in him again.  He kept screaming,
but had to take a breath some time, so I could fuck him till I got off.  He
was still screaming when I fixed his pants, so I told the teacher I had to
go to the bathroom, and she sat with him, while I went and washed up.

   He "Had an accident," but now she had a assistant, so she watched us
while she cleaned him up.  It sure was gross, shit got all over me, and I
had to throw away my underpants, but just thinking about it got me hard
again.  I hadta go to the bathroom, stroke off, and this time felt my butt,
kissing my fingers when I cummed.

   I used it to fuck my fingers in, and washed my hands, and went back to
class.  I got another girlfreind though, it just wasn't exciting with Eddie
no more.

   Wendy was in a wheelchair, and got off on the bus before me.  She had
CP, or MS, or MD.  They went through all three, then said it might be a
combination.  Anyway, her arms are all twisted, one up, scratching her
face, and the other straight down behind her, so she sits on it.

   Anyway, her body twists like that too, and she's got a boob sticking
out. I never even seen a real boob before, naked I mean, or touched it
through clothes even.  I wanted to, though, and she was so helpless.  She
couldn't even talk, so anybody'd understand, or write.

   I don't know what she was doing in school, I mean even the retards could
write, but she set in class, and listened to the teacher between going to
therapy.  At least once a day, she went to one, and sometimes, it was late
enough she didn't come back.

   I'd get home quicker, cause I didn't have to wait for her to go down the
lift in the back of the bus.  The boys would be waiting, to yell "Retards!"
and stuff even if we didn't stop.  Whatever, they knew where she lived to
wait, but couldn't figure out tuesdays, and thursdays?  Who's retarded now?

   Anyways, one of the days she rode, I got off with her, and said "I'll
walk." I even helped her caregiver take her in, and met her, and hanged
out. I really didn't want to go home anyway, and it was kinda cool.  I
found out about home heathcare, and stuff, it's kind of like babysitting,
but for handycaps.

   Anyway, one time she had to got to the store cause she ran out of
smokes, and I said I'd watch her.  Whenever she left, I told Wendy how
pretty she was, and I liked her, and even gave her a kiss.  She can't kiss
back, any bettern she can talk, but I got to first base.

   Tammy didn't have boobs, just fat on her chest, but this was a real one.
So round, and soft, not flat, and squishy like Tammy.  Her caregiver came
back, and I stroked off in the bathroom.  It felt like I never cummed
before, I almost fell down, and when I opened my eyes, I still saw stars.

   I got a smoke from Kelly, the caregiver.  My first one, my head was
already spinning anyway, and I didn't even cough too much.  Anyway, I went
back home, and got the usual lecture about being late.

   Now, my mom, and dad wern't great.  I mean, they didn't abuse me, or
nothing, but mom spanks me for being so stupid, and forgetting, and leaving
her to fend for herself, and worry.

   Then dad comes home, late again, and drunk.  He hit her, I mean smacked
her, didn't punch her with his fist, but she was so stupid.  I mean, he
kept telling her, and telling her, and she never learned.  Anyway, he
tooked her in the bedroom, and yelled, and smacked her, and she didn't stop
screaming till he was done fucking her.

   A cheap place, I could never get no sleep, with all the yelling, and
screaming, and banging the wall with the bed.  I jerked off to go to sleep,
knowing I could be as loud as I want, and they'd never hear me.  I woke up
hard again, and had to pee, but I didn't get up.

   I could feel it, bulging up, burning in my peeny, seeping out, and
wetting my hand warmly.  Almost like cumming, it made me slippery so I
could get off for real.  Nobody was up yet, but I held my breath, tried not
to shake the bed.  "Nt!" try not to cry out, "UhHhHhH!" take a stuttering
breath, and feel it lift me dizzyly in the spreading glow of pleasure.

   In the morning, "The fuck!" dad winced, and held his head, but jerked
the wet sheets out of my hand.  "Again?  Take care of this," he shoved me
in his room, to mom, beached on the bed.  Now dad was fat, but mom could
hardly stand up.  She's been depressed, but one thing could get her up is
when she's pissed.

   "Filthy fucking baby!" she grabbed me, and the sheet dropped.  Now, when
I said I never seen, or touched one before, that don't count.  I mean,
she's my mom, and it's so disgusting.  Huge, and fat, and stretched with
lines like a watermellon, it was rotten, nasty, flopping over my arm. 
"Kmere!" she jerked me over the bed, my pants down, and spanked me with her
hand till it got tired.

   "Stupid useless fucking retarD!"

   Anyway, Wendy had therapy that morning, so we just rolled past her
house, and her caregiver dropped her off before lunch.  She saw me, and
bent over my desk.  "I got something to do this afternoon," I could see
down her shirt, "So can you watch her till I get there?" Her boobs hung
down, in her bra, a pink strap between them.

   "Yeah," I looked up, and smiled, "Sure."

   "Great!" Wendy had her head rolled over, her eyes all the way in the
corners.  A little drool rolled down her chin from her crooket smile.  I
had to go to the bathroom.  Now, I usually slip it in my hand, and push the
little button behind my balls, but I didn't really haveta pee, so I gripped
it with two fingers.

   "NhH!" it slipped in the skin, wrincling around the end.  Like a wink,
it bunched up, puckered like to kiss, then rolled back.  "Unh!" the head
poked out, like a heart, and a clear sticky drop rolled out, like the first
time I cummed.

   "HhihH!" I gasped.  Eddie don't got that skin, and his head is littler.
I can't count all the hairs no more, and some are long enough to curl, but
I got straight hair.  "Pap!" my wrist slaps my hip, and my balls bunch up
against my pinky.  I felt so helpless, looking up at me, in the wheelchair
mirror.

   "Yeah," I smiled down, "You like it?" Whispered, "Faggot?"

   His fingers twisted, gripped tight till I bulged out.  In his hand, it
looked bigger, blood squeezing out thick on the sides, head darkening,
purple.  "No?" I gasped, "Please, it hurts!"

   "Yeah," my pants fell off the sink, and I reached back, "Little faggot."
Squeezing my butt, Pulling it around, slipping my fingers between.

   "Uhn!" I bent over the sink, "Please don't."

   "Fuck you," he curled his big hand into a fist, except one finger. 
"Buttfuck you."

   "AI!" i held my breath, the scream back, and jammed it in hard.  "KntT!"
It tightened, twitched, and splatted sticky in the sink.  "HnhnhnhN!" I let
out the breath, slipped out, and turned the water on to wash my hands.

   At lunch, I fed Wendy, then took her out before the bell rang.  I wiped
her face real good, but I couldn't brush her teeth, and little bits came
out in her drool.  I took a bunch of paper towels from the lavitory, and
wiped it up, but I didn't even want to kiss her.

   She's got retard breath, anyway.  Seventeen, some of her teeth are
already black on top in the back.  "Hey," some boy pointed, "It's Ricky
retardo!" his freinds laughed.  "Is that your new girlfreind?"

   I stopped, and calmed down.  Not by choice, I could hear my blood in my
ears, getting hot, thumping faster, but couldn't think of anything better
to say then "Leave her alone!" I stepped in front, reached back for the
brake.

   "What's wrong," he stepped up, looked down, "Reree?"

   I thought about kicking him in the nuts, maybe with the knee, or punch
him.  "Nothing," I smiled, and he double took, surprised.

   "Enh!" he grunted, and I dug in my fingers.  "AhH!" I ripped a nail on
the fly of his jeans, but he fell on his knees after I kicked his shin. 
"Nahahah!" he started crying, then "WhunNH!" when I kicked him with the
other leg in the side.

   "How's it feel to get you BUTT!" I kicked it, "Kicked by a retard?"

   The kids were chanting "Fight Fight Fight Fight!" and I finaly heard it,
but that brought the assistant principal, and he took me off to the office.


   The nail was tore off into the meat, so I pulled off the rest with my
teeth, and it started bleeding again.  I toled the principal what the other
kid said, and what I said, then, "So, I beat him up."

   I was put on In School Suspension, but they left me in with the retards
instead of the ISS room.  Big deal, the same punishment as everday for the
last couple years.  The told me not to go nowhere for the rest of the week,
but the ED room, and the bathroom across the hall, and take the teacher, or
assistant with me.

   They didn't come in with me, but I had to be real quiet, but that ment I
couldn't be in the Isolation Room with special Edd, when he went off. 
Autism, by the way, it's usually when he gets overstimulated, or surprised.
Nobody else could touch him, without him screaming, and curling up in a
ball, not even his mom.

   But I didn't play with him no more.  He could play with hiself, I showed
him how, and that made him better.  He didn't miss it, I don't think he
liked it very much, but it worked.  He even did it hiself, stroking off to
break a panic attack.

   Anyways, I took Wendy home that day, and got in her house before the bus
pulled up the lift, and drove off.  They was waiting for me, that boy, and
his freinds.  They followed me from the middle school, just like he
followed me from elementry.  He called me retard behind the portables, and
made fun of Tammy.

   Why didn't she come with me?  I mean, I know we'd be in the same class,
but instead, I got that soccer jock.  Well, it was kickball in elementry,
but he kicked real hard, and his legs looked like wood.  I wondered if he
had that little skin, on his peeny.

   Can't be using it for nothing but pissing, hanging limp.  Wendy was
crying, so I helped her transfer to the couch, so I could hold her.  Her
bent arm up on my shoulder.  Twisted my way, her bent back fingers brushed
my cheek.  "It's okay," I kissed hers, "They're gone." I ran my hand up her
tummy, and the shirt bunched up on it.

   "Uh uh," her head lolled, and drool dripped on my shirt.  Her breath
stank, but I was already hard, and her boob pushed on my ribs.

   "Don't worry," I slipped my hand up under her shirt, and felt the tight
cotton of her bra.  Plain, white, I pulled it back till the pink nipple
popped out.

   "Blee!" she grunted, "Nguh!"

   "MnN!" I kissed her twisted mouth, tasted her nasty spit.  It got hard
in my fingers, rolling on my thumb like a eraser.  "HnHhHhH!" My hand went
up, held her chin so she didn't twitch away.  Eyes closed, I felt down her
shoulder, straight arm.

   Bent back double jointed, it turned all the way around, pushing the back
of her hand into the cushion, curling her fingers into the palm.  I pulled
it out, bent the hand back to unlock it, and let her fingers flop back in.
They stuck out all over the place, like her messed up hair.

   "Feel this?" I put it between my legs, but she can't grip with them. 
"This is how you make me feel." She could feel my hardness.

   "Nn," she blinked, "NuH!"

   "ShHhHhH!" I leg go her hand, to flop, and twist away.  "See?" I undid
my pants, and got it out.  Biggern my thumb now, it curled up, and to the
right, probably from playing with it so much.  I slipped my hand over her
lap, pulled the string out of her sweat pants, and kissed her some more.

   "Mo!" her spit ran down my chin, and my breath stank like hers now. 
"NnNhH!" She was hairy, I mean real hairy, but I could feel her lips.  Dry,
I slipped a finger between them, over the soft flap of skin, down to her
hole.

   Ooh!  Of course she's a virgin.  Nobody else'd fuck her, understand her
like me.  I took her hand again, bent her hand back, put my finger over
her's.  Feel that, your virginity.  First, I had to get her naked, so I got
up, and let my pants drop.

   She fell over, almost twisted off the couch while I kicked off my
sneakers.  "Hold on!" I pulled her pants down, and shirt up.  She rolled
around like a twisted stick, flopping while I pulled her bent arm through
the sleeve, then her head, then slipped it off her straight arm.

   Kind of on her back, her hips, and legs were sideways, with her straight
arm back along the edge of the cushions.  "Zhup!" who ever knows what she's
saying?  We didn't need to talk, words, I was giving her more than that. 
"NhH!" she moaned when I rolled her over, found the clip on the back of her
bra.  Her but spread the cotton granny panties out, and I had to, like
screw them off her legs.

   Real hard, my dick curled up, and out, like her.  Even turned the same
way, she was on her side, on top, but her legs were on her back.  Her furry
patch curled up in front of her tummy, flattened, while her boobs rolled
down.  I got on with her, spread her legs with my arms, lips with my left
fingers.

   Feeling around, I pushed my penis down with my thumb.  Grown up, I hope
not all the way, it was moren big enough to pop her cherry.  "Ehn!" she
started crying.

   "It's all right," I cupped the titty on top, "It always hurts the first
time." She wet herself.  Not inside, but Tammy never got wet neither.  She
pissed, soaking me, but that just made me slick enough to fuck faster. 
"Uh!" I felt the twitches, and pushed in all the way.  "HnhNH!" Her back
twisted like a corkscrew, and I think she had a seizure.  It stopped as
soon as I pulled out, let her go.

   I took her back to the bathroom, left her naked in the chair, and put
the green pad over the wet spot on the couch.  I transferred her to the
hammoc seat, and sprayed her down.  She kept crying, tried to curl up like
Eddy, but couldn't straighten up enough.

   Anyway, the caregiver came back while I was still washing her, but I
already got in, wrinsed off standing over her, and put my pants back on. 
She helped dry her, and get her back in the chair.  She shivered, but
wasn't crying no more.  I told her what happened, the boys at school, and
after.

   "She was real scared," I finished, and grabbed my books to go home.  Dad
was already there, sober, and said he got called at work by the principal.
I told him about Wendy, and he told me next time to hit them in the nuts.

   "Okay dad," I smiled, and looked down, "I'll try that."

   Anyways, Wendy didn't wanna be my girlfreind no more.  She got real
scared whenever I got close, and didn't look at me no more.  The year was
almost over anyways, and after summer, I was going to be in 8th grade.  A
freshman, in high school, I never saw her again.

   That damn soccer jock went too, and found out where I live cause he kept
waiting for me all summer.  "Hey ricky," I turned, "reTardo!" The side of
my face burst with the sucker punch, and it knocked me down.  "StUpid
fUcking rETard!" he kicked me over, and over, and I curled up like Eddie
used to.

   I felt broken inside, bleeding in my ribs, but the doctors checked me
out, and said I was fine.  Mom, and dad couldn't afford all the Xrays, and
blood tests, and we had to move to a cheaper apartment.  1 bedroom, I
didn't even get it, and my bed was in the living room.

   And mom made me keep it clean.  She was in the bedroom, or on the couch
all the time, and I didn't have no privacy.  I even had to go through the
Master Bedroom to use the bathroom.  I locked the door, and runned the
bath. Nobody to play with, on accouta school being out, I was like a
prisoner.

   I took dad's razor, and pushed up in the water to shave.  The scrape on
my balls got me hard, but I cut my belly, and splashed back down in the
water.  It hurt, like peeling off the rest of my nail in the office, and I
thought about that boy.

   The meany, who kicked the shit out of me, and called me retard, and the
one time I beat him.  I thought about his dick, probably circumsized. 
Already slippery from the hot water, I got up on my knees, and it dripped
off.  The soap stung my cut, and turned pink with the blood.  Wrinsing off
with handfulls of the water, it kept bleeding.

   Slick, not thin like piss, or thick as cum, but it started getting
sticky.  It crackled wetly in my hand, rubbing against the cut, the bone
under it.  I wet my other fingers, and slipped them behind me.  It hurt,
the wrincles on my head on the cut, but it was kinda neat.  Feeling
something with the same old pleasure.

   "Nuh!" I could feel it welling up, "Hnt!" It twitched, my ass kissing my
fingers, thick wet blops pumping out on my fresh shaved belly.  It'd been
so long since I cummed likeat, and I needed a smoke.  So, I got out, dry,
and dressed quick.  Mom was watching her stories in my room, so I snagged
one from her pack on the bedside.

   "I'll be right back," I held the filter to my palm with a fingertip, and
turned my hand to hide it while I walked around the couch to the front
door.

   "Bring me my smokes," she waved back at the bedroom, and I went back for
them.  I didn't get greedy, and take another.  She smokes in the house, but
I can't, or she'd know.  Then I'd get it.

   "Fuck!" forgot the matches.  Climbing down, I looked around the complex
for somebody with a lite.  I already tried the convenience store, but they
said I was still to young.  I got a match off some guy, and he said
"keepem."

   Then I headded for the park, and the woods, but first I saw Him.  The
meany, bully, I put the smoke up to my face, head down, and he kept
walking. Cutting through the park, I followed him to the other side of the
neighborhood.  Much nicer, he lived in a split level, and went in.

   I cut back through the park, and my smoke was done, so I took a trail
back.  I couldn't stop thinking bout all the times he beat me up, so I
scraped together all the leaves, and pine straw.  They smoked, then the
flames danced up.  Hot, I opened up my pants, and petted myself hard.

   He was soft when I grabbed him, but his balls crushed together.  "Ugh!"
likeat, I hunched over reflexively, and almost burned myself.  Pulling to
stay stiff, I got up, and grabbed some sticks.  The fire climbed higher,
and I squeezed my dick till it bulged.  I could feel the blood pumping in
it, and even see it twitch, jump a little with each pulse.

   "HhuhN!" I sighed, and started stroking, with three fingers now.  The
skin wrinckled, and rolled in the dognut of my thumb, puckered like an
asshole.  That asshole, I'd bend him over, fuck him likeis, pumping my hips
into my fist.

   "NhnH!" squeezing tight, Imagining his screams.  Reach around, grabbing
it, ripping it out, and stuffing it up his ass.  "Uhnt!" I couldn't even
hold my breath, but gasped reflexively.  His dick, or the bloody stump. 
"AhH!" sticking out his ass, "HahHhHhn!"

   He snuck out later, hanging down from the window, and dropping in the
side yard.  I didn't need to, the folks were sick of me around the house
all the time, anyway.  I pulled the black hoody down, didn't even look till
I was sure he was down the street, back to me.

   I snuck out, hurried around to the corner, saw him turn into the park.
He just put a hand on the gate, and threw himself over.  I snuck under, but
lost him.  There was some other kid, across the park, swinging a
flashlight. Another, running, just ahead of the beam.  A shout, and he
stops.

   I sneak closer, while they walk together, beam of light spreading
between them.  "Jerry's It!"

   "Hey," I walked up, "What's happening?"

   "Rick?" they both squinted in the dark, and I put my hand to block the
flash.

   "Ricky Retardo!" I frose, cold trickling up my back.  "You ever play
flashlight tag before?"

   "Uh uh," like Wendy, she couldn't say "no."

   "It's like hide, and seek," the guy with the flashlight flipped it over,
"Only you shine the light on them, and say there name.  If you're right,
they're it.  You only get one guess, and if you're wrong, you got to let
them go."

   "Okay," I shined the light in his face, "Gary."

   "Jerry," he corrected, and put his hand up.

   "I'm Kevin," he pointed behind me, "That's Tommy."

   "Yeah," he sneered, "He knows me."

   The first time I heard his name, though.  He didn't introduce himself
formally when he was kicking the shit out of me.  I looked down, "Like your
jeans!" a red, white, and blue logo, over the pocket.

   "Yeah," he smacked the light away, "Now start counting."

   "How high?" one,

   "Fifty," he walked into the dark, "And no looking."

   "six," I whispered, and followed him with my eyes.  In the dark, but
back lit by the tennis courts, he slipped behind a tree, and disappeared. I
kept the light off, followed the patches of grass matted down by his feet.
Bent low, to see them in the near dark, it also made me like a player, not
It.

   I was smart enough to dress for following him in the dark.  Lucky enough
that it worked for this flashlight tag.  And I was it, the predator.  I
don't know if I want to be the prey.  I came around the tree, and clicked
on the light.  Clever, he didn't hide behind it, but it brought out his
footprint.

   He kept going, blocked by it, and I had to click off the light.  I
circled around, he saw that, wherever he was.  The only prey I cared about,
I zeroed in, let my eyes get used to the dark.  He played this all the
time, so it didn't make me stupid just cause it took so long to find him.
He knew I was looking, close, couldn't get away without me seeing it.

   Click!  "Gary!"

   "It's Jerry," he chuckled, "and that's not me, you fucking retard."

   I know, but I didn't want to hand over the light.  He underestimates me,
because I play along.  I wasn't expecting this, prepared for it, planned
out, but I sure wasn't ready to let him hunt me.

   "See ya," he took off, and I followed him through the dark with my eyes.
He had a lot of tricks, but soon, I'll know all of them.

   I followed him all night, and didn't seem to catch anybody.  That's
cause I was learning the game, and the players.  Later, they told me the
rules, in no particular order.

   "The new kid is it first," the new rule, which Jerry used ex post facto.
I'm not smart enough to be a lawyer, and I'd be an idiot to represent
myself, but I been in trouble enough to know that concept.

   Oh, yeah, "When the cops show up, they're it." They get called
sometimes, they even showed the "Bluehair"s house, when she got up, and
turned on the light.  Geoff said "She's got 911 on speed dial."

   There was lots of other boys, on differnt nites.  It took a while to
learn all of them.  I wasn't used to having freinds, but I started sleeping
all day.  I'd get mom on the couch, and set up with the remote, her smokes.
I slept in the bed, and didn't wet it to stroke off.

   I planned, and collected what I'd need.  Money wasn't hard to steal, out
of dad's wallet in his pants.  We played RPS for it, but I showed them my
new flashlight.  "I'll go first," everone else hated being it.

   "Okay!" they run off, and Tommy was there tonite after being grounded. I
followed him with my eyes, whispered, "Sixty."

   Black trenchcoat, couldn't miss the siloette even behind the low bush. I
circled around, to a broad tree, cut toward him in it's dim shadow.  Low, I
could put my hands down, but tucked the light up, thick checkered metal
along my arm.

   My thumb rolled on the trigger, like a cockhead under the hood of skin.
Behind him, I pressed, "Click!" Light splashed white out the end,
"Tommyjeans!" the others started calling him that, and he hated it.  Told
everone "It's Tom." but he never called hisself that afore.

   I unscrewed the bottom, and the light snapped off.  Holding them in, I
dropped the 2 C cells in his hand.  "See yah."

   I knew he'd follow me.  "Crack!" it used to creep me out, but he's no
good at it.  I led him off, away from the other players, to the edge of
bounds.  I didn't even try to stay hidden, just out of range.  Ducking
behind a tree, I switched my hat around, and walked backwards.

   He came around quick, to see me again, and I climbed down the creek. 
Bounds, we weren't supposed to hide down there, and he hurried to bust me.
"Click!" I looked up.  "Ricky reTardoooo," he chuckled.  Standing over me
on the bank, "Doncha know that's out of bounds?"

   "Really?" I played dumb, and climbed out.  He kept the lights on, but he
probably thought about dropping them out like I did.  The new new rule was
"You don't have to stop play to announce who's it." Most kids got their own
lights, small ones they could hide, so you couldn't tell they was it.

   I took the light, and switched it off.  "See ya."

   I turned as he walked off, back turned.  I jumped, kicking the ground
hard, like a stomp for another jump.

   "Th'?" he started turning.

   "THAP!" he twisted over limply, like Wendy.

   "Uhn!" he hit with a thump I could feel through my shoes, and rolled
away.

   "Fucking retard," I dropped the light, and jumped on him.

   "Huh?" he reached up to his head.

   "KRHCH!" I pulled out a lenth of tape, "Rip!"

   "The fUGM!" he muffled through the gag.

   "shutUp!" I hit him as hard as I could.  "OW!" I shook my fist out.

   "Mhn!" he reached up, and I stuck the tape on his arm.  Still holding
his mouth, I pushed his head down, banged it on the dirt.  "Hnh." His eyes
fell shut, and he let his breath out.  I took a sec to feel his pulse with
my thumb, then rolled him over.

   "KRCHSHK!" I wrapped his wrists together, and wished I undid his jeans
before I turned him on his front.  Levis now, we made fun of his jeans till
he changed brands, but still called him that.

   "Nh?" he woke up again, so I kicked him over the side.  "SPlasH!" he hit
the water, and I jumped down to keep him from drowning.  "WHHHHRN!" he
tried to scream.

   "Yeah!" I grabbed his belt, "Squeel likea pig, boy!"

   "Nhrr!" he thrashed, but I got it undone, and only pinched my thumb a
little.

   "I'll make you squeel," I threatened, "Squeel for me." I twisted his
shrunken circumcised peeny hard.

   "RhRhRhRHN!" Yeah, he squeeled like a pig, and when I was done with him,
I pulled a sticky patch away from the roll around his hands.  He could get
loose, but it gave me time to climb out.

   I might think slow, but if you give me long enough, I can think of
something real nasty.  I read this book, "The Art of War," that helped.

   "If you wait by the river long enough, you'll see the body of your enemy
float by." -Sun Tsu.