Trash

By Orestes

orestes007@hotmail.com
ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Orestes

***
 This work is copyright (c) 2000 by Orestes. You may  
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author. All other rights reserved. No alteration of the 
contents is permitted.
***

    I'm probably the last person who anyone would look 
at for insight into human psychology, but I think I may 
have stumbled onto a thing or two. I'm the kind of girl 
who could be labelled 'white trash', except I'm not so 
white. I was adopted into a lower class white family, 
but I'm obviously of mixed race. I think I'm probably 
half East Indian. In my neighbourhood, that made me 
nearly the lowest form of life. I did just about 
anything those days just to fit in.

   I don't have much of an education. I could always 
read and write okay, but I didn't ever graduate because 
I became pregnant at sixteen years old. I wasn't going 
to dodge that bullet forever. Most every weekend, I 
ended drinking too much at a party, and having sex with 
several guys. To tell the truth, I don't suppose I 
really thought about the consequences too much. I just 
let the guys do what they wanted, and that felt pretty 
good at the time.

   Live and learn, huh ? Or, in my case, don't.

   I mean, if you're out of school that young, you're 
raising a kid alone, and you don't have any real 
prospect of getting a job, what does it matter ? I just 
kept on drinking and partying, and it really shouldn't 
have been a surprise when I got knocked up again before 
my twentieth birthday.

   By this time, my adoptive parents just didn't want 
to have much to do with me. I drank too much, smoked 
too much, and was always 'borrowing' money from them. 

   The kinds of guys I was going for in those days were 
real pigs. I really knew how to choose them, or I 
should probably say, they knew how to choose me. I 
settled for it because I didn't think I could do any 
better. Let's be realistic. I already had two kids, I 
was putting on some weight, and the only thing that I 
had to offer a guy was easy sex. 

   So I did what I could to hold onto a man, and these 
guys could smell weakness. If you ever watch Jerry 
Springer, and wonder to yourself why these people live 
the way they do, I've got the answer for you. It's 
desperation. Desperation makes for easy prey. For some 
reason, I really thought that I needed these guys.

   There wasn't anything that these losers could do to 
me that I wouldn't accept. Soon after giving birth to 
my second kid, I was with a biker called Spade. He was 
a big black guy who I'd met at a party, and just sort 
of ended up living with me and the kids.

   Yeah, I told you that I let guys push me around, but 
Spade was different. There was just something about him 
that always made me eager to please him. To satisfy 
him. His mastery over me was much stronger than I had 
ever felt before.

   " Hey Holly, open your lips, bitch, " he would tell 
me, after stumbling in drunk at night. I'd be asleep in 
bed, and wake up with his drooling cock on my cheek.

   Even then, I was aware, on an intuitive level, of 
the power exchange that was taking place. His 
assertiveness gave him natural authority over me. I 
gave in to his will, and took him into my mouth. I 
don't know how many nights I finally went back to sleep 
with the taste of his sperm on my tongue. Other times, 
I would taste another woman on his cock.

   Spade never denied that he was screwing around on 
me. He even bragged about it to his friends when they 
were over. It was just another way for him to display 
his dominance over me. He was good at it. No matter how 
much abuse I took at the hands of him and his biker 
friends, I could never defy him. There was just a tone 
in his voice, and a natural self-confidence in his 
manner. 

   Damn, he was really good. A natural, really.

   When he knocked me up again, he dumped me. So there 
I was, in my mid twenties, and raising three kids 
alone. You would think that by this point, I'd be 
rather reluctant about letting another guy into my 
pants. Not so. After I popped out number three, I just 
kept on going back to these assholes.

   Larry moved in. He was a bus driver in our 
neighbourhood. A step up from a biker, right ? Wrong. 
This guy was slapping me around from the start. That 
was his weakness, I realized later. He had to resort to 
violence to maintain his control. What Spade could do 
with just a confident look, Larry had to do with brute 
force. 

   No, I wasn't as analytical about it back then. I 
just knew that I wanted to hold onto a man, so I 
accepted the abuse. But I also knew that, on some 
level, this guy was weaker than me.

   I was on the pill at this point. Three was enough, I 
figured. My oldest, Brenda, was going on ten years old, 
and I wasn't looking forward to changing any more 
diapers. 

   Aside from the odd physical argument with Larry, my 
life was getting under control. I even had the strange 
itch to go back to school. Larry wouldn't support me, I 
knew, so I didn't make any serious plans. Instead, I 
began to go to the library. I read all sorts of books 
(lots of free time), but the ones I really took an 
interest in were psychology. 

   Particularly, I remember the way I latched on to the 
concepts of power exchange. In journal after journal, I 
read about women in abusive relationships who seemed to 
accept all sorts of abuse, simply because the abuser 
was a dominant personality. That was something I had a 
lot of insight into. I became curious about what was at 
the root of this control.

   During this time, Spade came back into my life. As 
self-confident as ever, he just barged in off the 
street and took control again. I remember the fist time 
Larry came in while Spade was around. There was just no 
contest. Larry knew from the start who was in charge.

   I watched this phenomenon with interest. Everything 
I had been reading made sense. Often, in social groups, 
there is a struggle for power amongst the males. The 
outcome had much more to do with attitude than with 
physical strength. Larry retreated to another room, and 
made no challenge to Spade's authority.

   In the month that Spade stayed this time, he made my 
life miserable. The first thing he did was tell me to 
flush my birth control pills down the toilet. 

   " Let's see if we can't knock this bitch up again, " 
Spade told one of his buddies, who was over at the 
time. 

   And they did. I don't know who the father of my 
fourth child is. Spade was sharing me with anyone he 
could think of. He had guys over all of the time. 

   " Come on, you fat whore, give my new friend a ride, 
" he told me, bringing in a biker he had just met. The 
guy sat back on the sofa, and unzipped his pants. It 
wasn't long before I was riding his cock like a cheap 
slut, and I didn't even stop when Brenda came home from 
school. She just stood in the doorway, shocked, while 
Spade and his new friend laughed. She went to her room, 
but I'm sure she must have heard me going at it all day 
with various bikers.

   During that month, not a day went by without me 
servicing multiple guys. My pussy, throat, and even my 
ass ached from the cruel treatment. My nipples were 
bruised from the way these guys pinched and mauled 
them. All the while, my mind was working on a puzzle. I 
just had to know what it was that lent Spade this power 
over me. Getting pregnant was the last thing I wanted, 
but here I was, acting as the neighbourhood sperm bank. 

   Then, predictably, when I became pregnant, he was 
gone again. Larry split too. Except this time, I didn't 
go out in desperation to find another guy. An idea was 
forming in my head. I think I was beginning to 
understand the true nature of power, and I wasn't 
willing to give away my freedom so easily.

   I went back to the library again. I was surprised by 
the way I devoured the knowledge. Throughout my entire 
life, I had been letting myself give away control, and 
suddenly, I was asking the right questions. I read 
books on self esteem, positive attitudes, and even 
sales skills. I wanted to know what it was that gave 
some people so much influence over others. 

   The more I read, the more I was convinced that real 
power was simply a matter of attitude. I didn't concern 
myself with finding the actual scientific basis for 
this power. I'm sure some smart guy will eventually 
come up with the answer. Maybe it's a chemical thing... 
maybe someone with a dominant attitude simply puts out 
the right pheromones to bend others to his will. Maybe 
it's some intuitive psychic connection. Or body 
language. I don't know. I just know that those who have 
the right sort of dominant attitude can control the 
people around them. 

   That was something that came naturally to Spade. It 
was also the kind of will-power that made some salesmen 
successful, while others, with just a touch of 
uncertainty, fail miserably. We've all seen it. There 
are just some people who have it, naturally. That's 
what I wanted, but I didn't have it naturally. I needed 
to give nature a helping hand.

   This is where self-hypnosis comes in.  

   It took me all the way through my pregnancy to get 
my technique down. I could hypnotise myself with 
recorded messages fairly easily, and at first I used 
the hypnosis to help me to study. By the time the baby 
was born (number four, if you're counting) self-
hypnosis was a snap, and I was itching to try out some 
of my ideas about power exchange.

   First, I had to accept my most basic urges. This is 
no easy step. All the way through life, we're taught to 
suppress our selfish urges, and to be giving. For some 
people, being selfish is natural. It's just a matter of 
degree. I'm sure everyone reading this knows someone 
who just seems to be a selfish son of a bitch, and 
still seems to get exactly what he wants. As I said, 
it's just a matter of degree, and I set out to 
completely discard my inhibitions. 

   Don't underestimate this step. It's impossible to be 
a completely dominant personality of you are always 
second guessing your urges. I needed to be entirely 
selfish. The more completely I could do it, the more 
control I would have.

   Yes, I'm a lazy bitch. I don't like to do housework, 
or to do much of anything for that matter. I like to 
sleep in, and eat breakfast in front of the TV, and 
take long, hot baths with no one to disturb me. I like 
sweets, and cigarettes, and I love to make a dent in a 
tasty bottle of scotch to start off the evening right.

   Before long, I was doing just that, and I had no 
shame at all about it. I was just getting a taste for 
what self hypnosis could do for me. It's funny, most 
people use the techniques to quit smoking, to get 
motivated or to lose weight. I did the exact opposite, 
and I was loving it. But that was only the first step.

   Now that I was in touch with my selfish side, I 
needed to redefine my relationships with the people 
around me. Not only did I need to accept all of my 
urges, but to impose them on other people. It's just an 
attitude shift, really, and again, it's just a matter 
of degree. The purpose of other people, I told myself, 
is to give me pleasure and to make my life easier. 
Family... friends... those are just titles. I taught 
myself, at least silently, to call them by their real 
titles: servants.

   Some people have this gift naturally. They walk all 
over people their whole lives, and are rarely set in 
their place. Just like I'd thought, it's all attitude. 
Once I began to think of people as objects for my 
purposes, I could feel my power over them growing.

   " Go make me a bath, " I told Brenda one night. 
Normally, I have to yell and threaten to get my kids to 
do anything. This time, there was no whining. I could 
just feel my confidence and power radiating to everyone 
around me. It was happening everywhere. I got more 
attention from grocery clerks. My welfare case worker 
stopped giving me trouble.

   Overall, things were going my way. Every day of 
self-hypnosis was making me more confident and 
assertive. Who knows, I might even have gone a little 
overboard, but as I said before, it's all just a matter 
of degree. Some people have a natural dominance and get 
whatever they want. My own feelings of dominance were 
going past any natural limits, and with each step, I 
became more confident that I could overpower even the 
strongest personality.

   During this time, my sexual urges had been growing 
along with all of my other vices. I would masturbate 
myself shamelessly while watching TV, and while I was 
in the tub too. Up to this point in my life, I had 
always allowed my sex partners to come first. Now, I 
knew I could never go back to that.

   I took my first slave about a year after Kyle was 
born. By that time, I had Brenda trained to take care 
of the baby full time. The people at school didn't even 
question me when I took her out of classes. Nobody 
questions me much these days. 

   Anyhow, as I continued to explore my selfish side, 
my sexual imaginings led me to conclude that I was in 
need of a sex slave. No, I didn't just want a good man. 
I wanted someone to serve my every sexual whim. I found 
him at a bar one night. He was a young guy, having a 
beer with the rest of a construction crew. I waved him 
over.

   " What's your name ?" I asked him, while his friends 
looked on. They seemed surprised that their young 
friend was actually talking to me.

   " Uh, Matt. " I got a better look at him. He had a 
good body, and a real cute face. From his age, I 
figured that he was just a student, doing construction 
as a summer job.

   " I'm going to take you home, Matt. "

   " Well, I uh, I have a girlfriend. " He wasn't 
really resisting. He was just telling me. Or at least 
that's the way I choose to see it. No one really 
resists me anymore.

   " That's okay. I don't mind. You'll just be coming 
over to give me some head, and then you can go home to 
your girl. "

   I'm surprised more women don't use this direct 
approach. You'd be surprised how many things guys will 
do if you just ask. Matt came home with me, of course. 
His buddies laughed as he left, and Matt blushed. To be 
honest, we don't look like we're in the same league. A 
good looking young guy like him belonged with a cute 
young thing, not an overweight, dumpy welfare mom. 

   Matt also didn't seem impressed with my little 
apartment. Well, what can you expect for subsidized 
housing ? Not two steps into the apartment, he tripped 
over one of the toys on the floor. I'll admit to 
keeping a messy apartment. I've just never been a neat 
freak. Of course, I get the kids to do the cleaning 
these days, but a little bit of mess never bothered me.

   " Come on in, stud... " I told him, and flopped down 
on the sofa. He seemed uncertain about what to do next. 
I could hear the baby crying from the kids' bedroom. I 
flipped on the TV, and then looked at Matt again. He 
was lost in thought, as if having second thoughts about 
what he'd gotten himself into.

   I began to unbutton my jeans. " Here's as good as 
anywhere. Come on over and help me get out of these 
jeans. "

   Matt helped me to remove my plump legs from the 
tight jeans. I spread my legs, and showed him my pussy. 
The abundant lips of my dark pussy were wet with 
anticipation of his tongue. " On your knees, " I told 
him. " Time for you to please me. "

   It's hard to describe the feeling that comes when 
you command someone to do something that you know they 
wouldn't normally consider. I wonder if it's the same 
feeling that Charles Manson had when he told his girls 
what to do. I could see in Matt's eyes that he never 
thought his evening would end this way. But he dropped 
to his knees anyhow, and prepared to bury his face 
between my heavy thighs while I lit up a smoke.

   Yes, I remember the feeling myself, from when Spade 
would make me do things, but it's so much sweeter to be 
on the other side of the equation. I groaned out loud 
when the young man's tongue slipped into my wetness. It 
had been so long for me.

   This probably wasn't the kind of pretty little pussy 
that Matt was used to licking. Instead, he got the fat 
hairy lips of a pussy that had delivered the children 
of four different men. But this is where he belonged 
now, serving me.

   " Keep on going, hon... " I told him, while I took a 
puff of tobacco. " It always takes me a good long time 
to get off. "

   Yes, I liked to savour all of the feelings. It was 
such a rush of power to know that he would keep on 
going for as long as I wanted him to. I gave him little 
pointers during commercial breaks. I was watching some 
nature show on the Discovery Channel. It was about the 
social life of hyenas on the African savannah. Once a 
dominant female was established, the other animals 
could just smell it. 

   Very appropriate.

   Matt licked and sucked away at me while I smoked and 
watched television. I could tell that this submission 
was making him horny. About a half-hour into it, he 
raised his face from my pussy long enough to ask if he 
could jerk himself off. 

   " As long as you don't get distracted from my pussy, 
I don't care, " I told him.  " Oh, and clean up your 
mess afterwards... with your tongue. "

   I added that last bit just for amusement. As it 
turned out, he jacked himself off twice before he was 
done with me. His tongue must have been numb, as I kept 
him licking for over two hours while I watched TV and 
had three orgasms. When I was fully satisfied, I 
watched as he followed my command, and licked his 
cooling sperm from his fist and from the dirty floor.

   His face was a bright red as he did it. His chin was 
slick with my juices. 

   I patted him on the head and told him, " Next time 
you come over, Matt, bring your girlfriend. I think I'd 
like to meet her. Make it tomorrow night. "

   There was an uncertainty in his face. Not that he 
was considering disobeying me. He was just afraid about 
the way that his girlfriend would react to me. He 
needn't have worried. Once I had her here, I knew that 
she would be eager to be my second slave.

   Of course, not right away. It might take me a few 
minutes to establish dominance, but I was looking 
forward to adding a female into my little harem. 

   When I answered the door the next night, she just 
looked pissed off. Matt hadn't told her what to expect, 
and she was obviously less than enthusiastic about 
coming to this part of town. She flashed angry eyes at 
Matt, but he just looked downwards.

   " What's your name, girl ?" I asked her.

   She looked at Matt again, confusion in her eyes. She 
couldn't quite figure out why he had brought her here. 

   " I'm China. "

   Pretty China. I've never had many nice things, but 
she was as delicate and pretty as her name. The girl 
might have even been a model, with those fine 
cheekbones and straight white teeth. Matt had brought 
me a real treasure.

   " Come in, " I told them. Matt didn't hesitate. 
China followed him uncertainly into the clutter of my 
apartment. Brenda hadn't even cleaned up the dinner 
dishes yet. She was busy taking care of the baby. 

   I just couldn't wait to have this pretty young thing 
sucking at my pussy, or better yet, pushing her tongue 
into my dark rear hole. I would take pleasure in that. 
She was exactly the kind of stunning girl who I would 
have envied for her perfect body through my teen years. 
She was the kind of girl who would never have 
considered hanging out with a loser like me. Now she'll 
find out her new place in the world.

   " Take off your clothes, Matt, and go lay down on my 
bed. "

   China's eyes went wide as she watched her boyfriend 
begin to undress. I could almost smell her confusion 
and anger rising. How could her boyfriend follow the 
orders of some mixed-race welfare slob like me ? But I 
could smell something else too. There was just a touch 
of uncertainty in the air. 

   She didn't know what she would do if I told her...

   " Take off your blouse, China. I want a look at your 
body. "

   The young blonde girl froze in place. The anger 
drifted away as her eyes met mine. I stepped closer to 
her now. I absolutely knew that she would be mine. She 
gasped as I reached my hand up and touched her chin. 
Every movement of my eyes told her that she was now 
below me. That I was her leader.

   Then her hands came up and began to unbutton her 
blouse. I smiled as a rush of adrenaline coursed 
through me. I had taken another slave.

   Mat was face up on the bed, stroking his hard penis. 
I wondered how it must feel for him to have led his 
girlfriend to me, like some sort of offering. She was a 
couple of steps behind me. I dropped off my sweatpants, 
and crawled up onto the bed with Matt. The young man 
had a lean, muscular body. Sometime, I would have to 
give his penis a try. 

   Right now, my mind was on oral satisfaction. I 
positioned myself over his face, and lowered my pussy 
onto his waiting tongue. I liked the feeling of him 
beneath me, his cock bobbing near my face. China 
watched nervously from the end of the bed. 

   I leaned my weight onto Matt now, and reached my 
hands back. Slowly, I pulled my ass cheeks apart, all 
the while maintaining eye contact with my new conquest. 
It was a silent command, but she picked up quickly. I 
can't tell you how satisfying it was to have this 
pretty young thing circle around behind me, and begin 
licking up and down the open crack of my ass. 

   The two lovers were inches away from each other, and 
as they continued to serve me, they allowed their 
tongues to meet briefly, and play along the base of my 
pussy. I can never get too much of this kind of 
attention. I reached to my bedside table and poured 
myself a drink.

   Those two pleased me well. During the next two 
weeks, they were over every evening. As much as they 
pleased me, I knew that I would soon need more. I was 
just too lazy to go out and find me next slave.

   Luckily, he came to me.

   I was enjoying a massage from my slaves when Spade 
pushed his way in through the front door. I'll never 
forget that confused look on his face as he saw me 
laying on the sofa, with China and Matt rubbing body 
obediently.

   " Mmmm this is nice, " I groaned, not moving from my 
position. " China, we have a guest. Suck him for me. "

   Despite any confusion, there was no way that Spade 
was going to turn down my offer. The cute little blonde 
dropped to her knees in front of him, and waited for 
his cock. A prissy white girl like her, this was 
probably the first black cock she had seen. It was just 
one of many new experiences I intended to introduce my 
servant to.

   Spade was in heaven. He had come here expecting an 
easy lay from an overweight east Indian slut, and was 
instead getting the royal treatment by an exquisite 
little white girl. 

   As much as I had previously been in awe of this man, 
I knew that he was no match for me now. His dominant 
personality was just a raw natural force. My own 
dominance was beyond the bounds of nature, and grew by 
the day. I had been waiting for this moment.

   I sat up on the sofa, and spread my legs. Matt began 
to lower his face into my crotch, but I grabbed him by 
the hair and pulled him upwards. Today I would allow 
him to fuck me.

   Spade watched with amazement the way that I had 
complete control over Matt. He couldn't figure out what 
leverage I had. I almost laughed at his expression. It 
was the same one I had worn when I was in awe of his 
natural dominance. Matt was in heaven. He slid into my 
pussy with ease, and began to rock himself into me.

   " Don't cum until I give you permission, " I told 
him. I could feel his rhythm slow. He didn't want to 
disobey me inadvertently.

   I turned my attention to Spade. China was trying to 
do such a good job on his large cock, but his attention 
was on me. I knew it would be. He could sense a 
challenge to his power. My dominance over these two 
only confirmed it in his head.

   " China, come here, " I commanded. She left Spade 
standing there, with his cock hanging comically out of 
his jeans. He began to follow, but I stopped him in his 
tracks. 

   " Stay !"

   Sharp. Like a command to a dog. He didn't know what 
to do, and so he froze in place. I directed China to 
lick and suck at my nipples while her boyfriend fucked 
me. She was eager to oblige. In the last two weeks, she 
had lost all misgivings about serving me. 

   I watched Spade as he drank in the scene. I could 
smell his fear. He glance towards the door, but I knew 
he wouldn't leave. Instead, he stood there in his 
leathers, and stroked his large cock as he watched my 
slaves serve me sexually. 

   My pussy was so wet that Matt slipped in and out 
with a slurping sound. I could feel myself dripping 
moisture onto the sofa. I let Spade watch for a few 
minutes more before I told Matt that he was allowed to 
cum.

   The young man began to tremble in anticipation. This 
is what he had wanted from the start, and I had been 
teasing him with for two weeks now. I had even 
forbidden him to masturbate for the last week or so. I 
liked having him in a heightened state of arousal when 
he's serving me.

   Now, he pumped me at a furious pace, trying 
desperately to orgasm before I had a change of heart. I 
felt the head of his cock swelling within me. His chest 
heaved with effort and his muscular frame tensed. Then 
I got what I wanted. I could feel him filling me. Again 
and again, he pushed himself deep within me, emptying 
his frustrated balls into my wet passage.

   Even after his orgasm was subsiding, he continued to 
push into me, trying to deposit just a little more cum 
within me. When he pulled out of me, he was spent.

   I remained in position, my loose pussy open and 
drooling. 

   This was my moment of glory. " Spade, clean me up. "

   For a long minute, I thought he would resist. He was 
used to being in control. His body tensed, as if waging 
its own internal struggle. 

   Then, without a word, he knelt down in front of the 
sofa. I leaned back and relaxed as I savoured this 
victory. The biker began by lapping up a stream of 
mixed cum that was rolling down my ass crack.

   I enjoyed every moment of this reversal. Not only 
was he completely mine now, but he was lowered to the 
position of licking up the cum of a white boy from the 
pussy he had so often abused. I had Matt fetch me some 
fried chicken from a local restaurant while Spade 
continued his chore. China lit me a smoke, and poured 
me a drink.

   No TV though. I had all the entertainment I needed 
right between my legs. When Matt returned, he was horny 
again, so I let him fuck Spade's ass. That was a sight. 
The proud black man allowed this white boy to do him 
from behind while he continued to push his tongue into 
my open pussy. 

   Now, I'm note sure I'm going to keep him around for 
long. Just long enough to give him a little taste of 
what he had given me. I don't want to be cruel. He is, 
after all, the father of one of my children.

---

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