Hostess With The Mostest
Part 6
"I've got a bone to pick with you!" I told Julia when she called thirty minutes
later.
"What have I done?"
"Don't come the innocent with me, you spoke to Ingrid on Sunday before I got
here"
"Oh that"
"Yes 'oh that'" I stated
"Sorry Chris, I just thought she ought to know"
"Well it was a bit of a surprise when she told me" my mind wandered back to my
arrival,
'"Ingrid, it seems there has been a change of plan and Chris bottled out" what
was Den up to?
"Such a shame Den, I was sure we'd have some fun"
I was obviously not paying attention on Sunday.
"Anyway what's up girlfriend?" Julia chirped
"How long have you got?"
"That much huh?"
"That much. Lets see now." I started to tell her all about the last couple of
days.
"...and so I ended up buying them."
"I think you're enjoying this" Julia chuckled
"Well I admit it's not as bad as I thought, the skirts and stuff take some
getting used to but it's not so bad."
"What about the punters? They are the reason for all this" she mentioned
"It's been a while since I've had a coach load that are this friendly, it looks
like you might be right."
"Maybe" she allowed, "what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Tratzberg and the glass place"
"They'll enjoy that"
"Yeah it's a good trip, not much for me and Den to do either. What about you?"
"Verona"
"Romeo, Romeo where for art though, Romeo" I mocked down the phone
"You may mock, your time will come"
"I think it already has"
I hadn't been idle while we talked, I was just about dressed, the black skirt
and a dark red top, I decided to wear the new shoes but they'd have to wait
until we finished on the phone, there is no way to put on tights with one hand!
"I'll give you a call tomorrow then, you off gallivanting tonight?"
"Maybe, Ingrid did mention something but I wasn't really listening"
"Well take care Chris, g'night"
"Night Julia"
I finished dressing and did the makeup thing. It felt weird putting on the new
lipstick that I'd bought, like a step too far somehow. Be-hosed and shod in my
new shoes I made my way down to meet Den for dinner. I hadn't bargained on the
change to my walk the higher heels would require, shorter steps and more
deliberate toe-heel placement, oh and I could feel a distinct wiggle of my
posterior too!
"There you are" Den stated
"Yes here I am" I agreed
"Ingrid said you two were off out tonight?"
"She was rattling about something earlier"
"I reckon you're enjoying all this"
"Julia just said the same thing"
"Well are we right then?"
"Not how you mean, oh I don't know. I suppose enjoy is the wrong word, it's more
like, well I feel more relaxed today."
"Well you certainly seemed happy enough earlier in that dress shop"
"It's strange really Den," I checked to make sure no one could overhear us, "if
I get dragged into a dress shop as Chris I get all uncomfortable, I feel like
all the women are looking at me, sort of like I'm trespassing."
"I can go with that" Den agreed, "I felt like that today"
"I think it's because they're uncomfortable with you being there too. But they
expect women and act accordingly, you know?"
"And looking like you do all they see is woman and that makes them relaxed which
makes you relax!"
"That's about it! Not that I was that relaxed, especially in that changing
cubicle"
"Well I have to admit you've got bottle" he stated
"I'll take that as a compliment. Are we eating? It's gnocchi tonight"
We checked on the passengers before going for our own food, that was a mistake,
I couldn't get away for fifteen minutes and I was starving! The gnocchi was
excellent in a gorgeous cheese sauce, just as well, dessert was a let down,
berry jelly with single cream. We retired to the Stube but before we could get a
drink ordered Ingrid came through.
"You ready then Nena?"
"Ready?"
"The party? I told you earlier"
"Oh yeah"
"You don't mind me stealing her again do you Den?"
"Far be it for me to disrupt your social life! I'll keep the passengers company"
"Come on then, we'll take my car" she advised.
If she was driving, at least we won't be drinking too much, I hoped. After
giving Den a resigned look I followed Ingrid out into the car park and over to
her car.
"New car Ingrid?" I admired the little yellow and silver Smart.
"My mother said she would get me a new car for my birthday. 'What do you want?'
she says" Ingrid slipped into her native tongue as she opened the door. "'Ich
möchte eine klein Auto erst' I said to her, she wanted to buy me a Sharan. What
would I do with one of those? So she turns up with this."
"It's a nice car Ingrid"
"Especially for free!" she chuckled as we belted up.
"Where are we going?" I asked
"I didn't think you were listening earlier. To my sisters house, just down in
Scharnitz"
"Your sister?"
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Er nothing. Does, er did you?"
"Of course not, I just said I was bringing a girlfriend over"
We rumbled over the railway lines and the little car soon had us heading north
towards the German border. It's only about ten kilometres so it wasn't long
before Ingrid turned us into a side road and in a matter of metres into a
driveway.
"I'm not sure about this" I mentioned
"Oh come on, Anja won't bite"
I climbed out of the car and waited for Ingrid to lock up.
"Come on" she directed, leading the way up the steps to the front door.
'Ding Dong!'
I could hear voices inside then the hall light came on.
"Ingrid!" a woman a bit older and heavier than my friend gave her a hug
"Hi anja, this is Nena. Nena meet my big sister Anja"
"Less of the big, squirt! Oh hello Nena, Ingrid said she was bringing someone."
"Er hi" I managed
"Come, come" Anja motioned us inside, "go through to the kitchen Ingrid"
I followed Ingrid who immediately went to put the kettle on. Anja didn't follow
straight away; I heard her go into another room and the voices murmured for a
moment before she came through to join us.
"Johann says hi, he's glued to the football"
"Who's playing?" Ingrid asked
"München and Köln I think, have a seat Nena"
The conversation was to me a bloke, bizarre! Anja served up coffee and strüdel,
well you know I'm a sucker for cake! I don't know how the conversation got
there, I didn't follow all of it but there it was! The two sisters were
discussing boob size!
"You ever fancied a boob job Nena?" Anja asked
"Er, I can't say that I've really given it any thought"
"My Johann, he's a big tit man." She stated, "he kept saying 'anja I will buy
you big breasts', I told him back, 'no you want to buy you big titties'" Ingrid
burst into laughter, I couldn't help a smirk my self. Anja went on,
"So one day up in München I saw these enhancers in the Karstadt so I thought I
would have some fun. When I got home, I put them in my BH and waited for Johann
to get home. Hey I looked impressive!" she imitated holding two huge breasts in
front of her, "well Johann, he was in heaven, he never mentioned it again but
every once in a while I give him the treat eh!" she winked.
"Could we borrow them?" Ingrid asked her sister
"I suppose so, what are you cooking up sis?"
"Well, Nena is a little small? Sorry Nena but it's true, we could do the same
thing with Den, her fahrer"
"I'm not sure that's a good idea" I mentioned
"Oh come on Nena, live a little" Ingrid cajoled
That's how I ended up in Anja's bathroom with Ingrid arranging my wares! I have
to admit, when she'd done I looked a darn site more woman. I'm not sure what
Ingrid did but my Kleenex boobs were replaced by Anja's breast forms and with a
bit of tugging at my chest my bra was supporting a veritable 'chest of
delights'!
"Oh Nena, you look brilliant" Anja stated
"I feel daft"
"Well you don't look daft" Ingrid told me
"You must do it Nena, Ingrid you tell me what happens eh?" Anja enthused
"I can't wait!" Ingrid enthused
It seemed daft to take them out to go back to the hotel so I wore my 'new'
breasts the rest of the evening. It was a little after eleven when we bade
goodbye to Anja, Johann managed a muffled 'teuss' from the living room and we
set off back towards Seefeld. With the seat belt on my 'improved' chest really
stood out, I was glad that there was no one to see me.
Den wasn't in the Stube when we got back so I went straight up to my room
promising to find Ingrid before going into breakfast. What a strange day! It's a
dead cert. that Chris's day would have been somewhat different, certainly no
dress shopping and I can't see Ingrid taking Chris round to her sisters for a
natter!
"In the office" Ingrid hissed when she spotted me.
"I don't know what you did last night but I can't get these things to look very
good at all" I moaned, "can't we just forget it?"
"No way! Pop your top off and I'll sort it out"
Five minutes later chesty Nena emerged just in time to catch the Stubbings going
into breakfast.
"Morning Nena" Mr Stubbings greeted me
"Morning" I replied
"New bra eh?" Mrs Stubbings whispered
"Er yes" god it's that obvious! How did I get talked into this? Looking at my
reflection in the window glass I could see that Ingrid had somehow given me not
just a bigger bust line but cleavage too.
"Here he comes" Ingrid hissed at me
"Morning you two" Den mentioned, "have a nice evening?"
"Yes we went to my sister's in Scharnitz" Ingrid told him.
Den had obviously spotted my enhanced assets; his eyes kept finding my boobs.
"Do you like them?" I asked
"Eh?" Den brought his attention upwards
"Do you like my breasts?"
"I, er, what are you two up to?"
"We thought you'd like them" Ingrid stated
"What have you done?" he enquired
"We've just helped nature a bit" she answered
"Come on let's get breakfast, then I'll lose these before we go out"
"Er okay" Den agreed
Things of course never go as planned; there was some confusion over our
departure time so I didn't have time to do anything with my chest.
"Good morning everyone" I started as we pulled onto the road, a chorus of happy
'mornings' returned.
"Sorry about the mix up this morning. Today we are going first to the glass town
of Rattenburg then this afternoon we will visit the Castle Tratzberg."
I waited until we were past the steepest bit of the descent before I started my
walk up the bus, although the women treated me much the same as they had done
previously. It was the men who treated me differently, well lets put it another
way, they were paying attention. Bum I'm stuck like this for the day, I
realised.
We picked up the autobahn and once again passed Innsbruck. Today our passengers
were due some added 'extras' and the first one came up just ten minutes after
leaving the Tirol's capital behind. Den pulled off the motorway into the rest
area at Volders.
"We're running a bit early (intentionally!) So we thought you might enjoy a stop
here. Just through the trees is the Karlskirche, which we think you will enjoy.
Please be careful as you cross the roadway. We have here thirty minutes."
Everyone piled off and I took the opportunity to sit for a minute.
"Looks like another hot one" Den mentioned
"Yeah, I'm glad I put on a shorter skirt today, that long one was okay yesterday
but in the heat." I left the comment unfinished. "Cuppa?"
"Please"
I made our drinks, determined to get it hot this morning!
"So what's the story with you know?" Den comically did the handful of breast's
mime.
"It's a long story, Anja, Ingrid's sister, told us about buying these enhancer
things and Ingrid thought it would be fun to see your reaction."
"And was it?" he asked
"Embarrassing really and all the male passengers have been looking at my chest
rather than my face this morning."
"I guess we do it subconsciously" Den agreed
"Yeah well" I mumbled
I suppose I'd better tell you why we had stopped at a random roadside church.
Well apart from being easily accessible it is exquisitely decorated with
frescoes and statuary. It is actually the church of the nearby monastery and
even if you are not a churchy person like me, you can't help but be impressed by
the ceilings and other decorations. The interior maybe a bit gaudy maybe, but
the exterior is much simpler.
"Very nice" Mr Stubbings mentioned looking at my chest which earnt him a slap
from his missus.
"Not my taste but very pretty" Mrs Stubbings added
The rest of the passengers made their way back via the lav's; there was nowhere
to lose anyone so after a quick head count we rejoined the autobahn. We left the
motorway at Wattens and used the old road along through Schwaz, another timing
exercise! I used this leg to do a drinks round and had barely finished when we
arrived in Rattenberg a bit after eleven.
"We are here until one thirty, I suggest you get some lunch while we are here,
there are plenty of, restaurant? yes restaurant und café. The Glasswerke Museum
is at the end of the parkplatz and there is a Gallery at the other end of the
town"
Once the punters were away I started organising myself.
Den shook his head.
"Come back Chris, all is forgiven!"
"What're you on about?"
"It's taking you as long as the girls do to get ready"
I pouted back.
Having a bit more choice of footwear, I'd elected to wear my slingbacks this
morning, they're comfortable, won't leave strappy tan lines and I, er sort of
quite like them. We took a slow stroll down through the pedestrianised main
street down to our preferred bar cum restaurant. The Tagesmenü is usually a good
bet here, two courses for just eight and a half Euro's. Today it was gulash soup
followed by roast beef, mash and red cabbage, maybe not Michelin three star but
good enough for us! We took our time eating, then sipping cold drinks, sat out
in the street watching the world go by.
We finally started back to the bus, picking up ice cream on the way. In all the
time I've been working as a host I've never had a group of passengers where they
are all punctual. There's always one or two who are always late, you learn to
compensate in your timings but it's damn annoying. I'm not saying it was because
I'm 'a girl' this week but this lot have not been late once! I'm not
complaining, if tardiness annoys me, it annoys the other passengers too, which
has a knock on effect. On that note everyone was back at the coach before one
thirty.
Its not far back along to the castle so in little more than thirty minutes we
were parking at the foot of the mountainside on which Tratzberg sits.
"Your attention please" I started, waiting for some quiet before continuing, "we
are booked in for our visit so please keep together. If you make your way up the
slope and through the gates, the train will fetch us? Take us up to the castle."
They all left the bus and started up the roadway, Den and I followed shortly
after and joined them just as the little diesel tourist train, the Tratzberg
Express, pulled around to pick us up. After a quick check that everyone was
still with us I got on board myself for the ten minute drive up through the
woods to the seat of the Enzenberg family. Anyone expecting a 'traditional'
castle with moats and towers would be disappointed here, Tratzberg is more of a
fortified stately home.
Being in charge of our party, I went straight into the shop cum ticket office.
"Güten abend, I have the Global party, we have a booking"
The assistant checked her diary to confirm the booking.
"Ah yes, you have how many persons?"
"Twenty five plus myself and the chauffeur"
I paid for the visit and was about to return to my charges when the other woman
in the shop came over to me.
"Excuse me fraulein could I have a word, you speak German?"
"Er yes of course"
Swapping into German she called to her colleague, "Maria, can you sort them out
with the commentary"
"Okay"
"I'm Katrin Enzenberg"
"The Gräfin?" I asked
"Yes but we don't stand on ceremony here, just call me Katrin. Well anyway er?"
"Nena Ziegler" I offered
"Welcome Nena, well I was wondering if you could help us out?"
"If I can" I offered
The Gräfin went on, "you have been here before?" I nodded, then she continued,
"you know we have staff explaining some of the rooms?"
"Yes"
"Well Susannah has been taken ill this morning, do you think you could stand in
for us, just for your groups tour?"
"I er, I don't know the information"
"Don't worry about that we use a little earpiece and tape to remind us, no one
remembers everything!" Katrin explained
Then it occurred to me.
"You want me to wear a costume?" oh boy, this is turning into a nightmare!
"If you will do it, you will fit in Susannah's dress with a little bit of luck."
I was sort of backed into a corner, what excuse could I use?
"You know you want to Nena" the countess cajoled
That couldn't be further from the truth but not seeing a way out I nodded my
agreement.
"Wunderbar, lets go get you changed"
"I just need to tell the driver I'll not be joining them"
"Okay"
I went back out to where the passengers and Den were waiting; now equipped with
the audio systems.
"Hello everyone" I called, "your tour will begin in about five minutes,
something has come up so I won't be joining you, I'll see you afterwards." There
was a bit of mumbling and Den came over.
"What's up?"
"Nothing really, I've been asked to help with something that's all, you'll find
out later"
"Okay then"
"I've been around before Den" I mentioned
"Well I guess we'll see you later then"
"Yeah" sooner than you think!
Katrin was waiting for me and she was soon leading me up to the next level where
the offices and stuff reside.
"Thank you so much for this, Nena, I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself, ah here we
are" she led the way into a small room that was obviously used as a changing
room.
"Here we are" she took a hanger down from a rail and relocated it on a more
convenient hook. "Can you manage the dress, it has a long zip" she confided
"I er think so" I answered looking at the voluminous velvet and silk garment.
"Okay then, I'll be back in a few minutes to do your hair. Thanks again Nena"
with that she left me alone.
Oh boy, what a mess! I did a quick survey of the costume; it came complete with
all the necessary underpinnings so with heavy heart I stripped down to my
underwear. Thankfully the corset thing laced at the front and it seems that the
absent Susannah is a little 'thicker' in the waist than I am as it closed
easily. However there was no way the dress would close without it, for once I
was thankful that I'm pretty slim! The stockings were thick white cotton and
used a sort of drawcord around the top so that was easy, now it was time for the
dress! I was still struggling with the zip when Katrin returned.
"Here let me" she quickly pulled the zip up then closed the buttons over it, I
thought they were just decoration. She fussed with the heavy frock for a bit
then satisfied bade me sit. Ten minutes later I was ready for my first and only
performance as Anna Ilsung of Tratzberg, wife of Jakob Fugger, late sixteenth
century incumbents of the castle.
Sheesh this lot's heavy, it's a good job the castle remains pretty cool, in this
heat and costume, well I didn't want to go there. As I followed the Gräfin
around to the public rooms, the new sensations of the heavy garments,
restrictive underwear and just as strange, the heavy pendant earrings that
Katrin had clipped to each lobe. I could hear the tour approaching a couple of
rooms away. Was I nervous!
"Thanks again Nena, you look brilliant" she patted my arm as I tried to remember
what I was supposed to do. I had two rooms to explain, the Ladies Parlour and
the Queens Room following on from the famous painted walls of the Hapsburg Hall.
Photo of Ladies Parlour © Tratzberg Castle The door opened and the tour
party filed into the bedchamber.
"Welcome, welcome. My name is Anna Ilsung von Tratzberg"
I'm sure one or two had recognised me already but my opening statement
alerted the less observant.
"It's Nena off the coach"
"So that's where she went"
Well you get the gist. I spotted Den who's jaw was on the floor, I gave
him a quick look of resignation before going on with my presentation. I
quickly had their attention and I think I got most of it in. through into
the second room and part two went pretty well too although I was thankful
for the earpiece and even more thankful when ten minutes later it was
over.
"You're a natural, Nena. I was listening from next door." Katrin advised a
moment later, "if you ever want a job let me know."
"I think I'll stick to what I'm doing thanks"
"Well if you change your mind" she offered, "lets get you changed"
To avoid the tour party we had to take the long way round, boy was I finding out
that wearing this stuff is not easy. Here I am, Chris Hornby, tour host,
tripping through a Tirolean castle holding my skirts up so I don't trip
following a countess! At least it'll be something to tell the grand children! We
had to go through the shop, a French party were totally gobsmacked as we passed
through, you could hear their comments and the Gräfin obviously did too.
"Er Nena" she started once we were out of the public area, "I don't suppose
you'd do me a huge favour. I know you are working but if I can square it would
you do the rest of the afternoon tours? I'll pay you."
"I'm not sure, er the driver, Dennis, he has the final say" I hedged praying
that he would get me out of this fix.
"Get yourself a coffee, I'll go find your driver" Katrin suggested.
She was gone about ten minutes; it's not like I could start undressing with all
those buttons over the zip.
"He has agreed, you can stay the afternoon, I will get someone to drive you back
to Seefeld later, you have a Heimat evening, yes"
"Yes, nine o'clock after dinner" I agreed, feeling let down by Den and probably
more frightened of discovery than at anytime since this whole charade started.
"Well we'll have you back well before then. Thank you so much Nena" she
mentioned, giving me a quick hug.
Come six o'clock when the last visitors had departed I joined the rest of the
staff for a, by now, well earnt coffee. Despite what I was wearing, my improved
bosom and the heat of the day by the time the last group went through I was sort
of enjoying myself.
"Lets get you changed, then we can join the others for dinner before getting you
back to your passengers eh!" Katrin suggested
"Thank you, I've enjoyed it today"
"Well that offer's still there!"
Maria came with me to the changing room and helped me out of the dress.
"Are you okay with the rest?" she asked
"Yes thanks Maria, er where are my clothes?"
"I'll go ask Katrin where she put them" Maria offered
"Thanks"
A couple of minutes later Katrin came in
"Oh sorry Nena, you put them with your bag?" I nodded, "in that instance your
driver took them. Don't worry, I'll find something for you to wear"
I sat and cursed Dennis while I waited.
"Here we go," Katrin mentioned a few minutes later.
Well it wasn't what I would have picked given the choice; there again I would
have picked jeans and a t-shirt. Ever felt overdressed? As I joined the castle
staff for dinner I was wearing the twenty first-century variant of Tirolean
costume. A full, ankle length skirt in russet silk wasn't too bad, the plunging
square necked blouse that accentuated my bust, was almost too much but somehow
all you could see was me.
After a fairly simple meal, Maria was volunteered to drive me back to Seefeld.
"Thanks Nena, here's your pay"
"Thanks Katrin"
"And don't worry about what you're wearing, hang onto them, you've been a star
today, Susannah had best watch out!"
Maria tooted the Mercedes' horn, so I left the Gräfin and joined Maria in the
car.
"Teuss!"
"Bye!"
Maddy Bell 08.02.04 © 2004
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