Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage,  and
Family values.

Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'

Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'

___________________________________________

A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my
Intelligence come from?'

The father replied. 'Well, son, you  must have got it from your mother,
Cause I  still have  mine.'

___________________________________________

'Mr.  Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,'  the divorce Court
Judge said, 'And I've decided  to give your wife $775 a week,'

'That's  very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And  every now and
Then I'll try to send her a few  bucks  myself.'

___________________________________________

A doctor examining a woman who had  been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the  husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks  of your wife At all.'

'Me neither doc,'  said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and  really
Good with the  kids.'

___________________________________________

An  old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can  remove a curse he has Been living with for
the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but  you will have to tell me the exact words
That  were used to put the curse on you.'

The old  man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you  man and  wife.'

___________________________________________

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To  Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. The DNA all  matches.

2. There are no dental  records.

___________________________________________

A  blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you  tell me how long it'll
Take to fly from     San Francisco   to    New York City    ?'

The agent replies, 'Just a  minute.'

'Thank you,' the blonde says, and  hangs  up.

___________________________________________

Two Mexican detectives were  investigating the murder of Juan  Gonzalez.

'How was he killed?' asked one  detective.

'With a golf gun,' the other  detective replied.

'A golf gun! What is a  golf gun?'

'I don't know. But it sure made  a hole in  Juan.'

___________________________________________

Moe:  'My wife got me to believe in  religion.'

Joe: 'Really?'

Moe:  'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in  Hell.'

___________________________________________

A man is recovering from surgery  when the Surgical Nurse appears and
Asks him  how he is feeling.

'I'm O. K. But I didn't  like the four letter-words the doctor used  in
Surgery,' he answered.

'What did he  say,' asked the  nurse.

'Oops!'

___________________________________________

While  shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I  passed a display
Of bathing suits. It had been  at least ten years and twenty pounds since
I  had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I  sought my husband's
Advice.

'What do you  think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an  all-in-one?'

'Better get a bikini,' he  replied. 'You'd never get it all in  one.'

He's still in intensive  care.

___________________________________________
*******
The graveside service just barely  finished, when there was massive clap
Of  thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of  lightning, accompanied by
Even more thunder  rumbling in the distance...

The little old  man looked at the pastor and calmly said,
'Well,  she's There.' 
 



May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
May nothing but happiness come through your door.



For the readers who were thoughtful enough to comment, I thank you.
.
If you enjoyed this moment of humor or information plz drop me a line to let me know someone is actually reading these posts.
.
jackspratt1@gmx.com