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 She's single...

   She lives right across the street.  I can see her house from my living
room.  I watched as she got home from work this evening.

   I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. 
She knocked on my door...  I rushed to open it.

   She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, and I am so horny!  I have
this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night
long!  Are you busy tonight?"

   I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free...  I have no plans at all!"

   Then she said, "Good!  In that case, could you watch my kids?"
   It sucks being a senior citizen.