Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form

Dear (____rejectee's name here____ ),
      
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated 
from further contention as my Mr. Right. As you are 
probably aware, the competition was exceedingly 
tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such 
as yourself also failed to make the final cut. 

I will, however, keep your name on file should an 
opening become available. So that you may find 
better success in your future romantic endeavors, 
please allow me to offer the following reason(s) 
you were disqualified from the competition:


[Check all those that apply]
      
___  Your breasts are bigger than mine.

___  Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine 
taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
           
___  The fact that our finest dining experience to date 
has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find 
unappealing.
      
___  Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms 
by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested 
in me for something other than my  personality.
     
___  You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 
20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.
      
___  Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT 
into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.

___  Your "Putting on a few, aren't you babe?" 
comment, given the 9-months pregnant size of 
Your Own beer gut, was inappropriate.
      
___  You failed the credit check.

___  I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily 
unappealing.
      
___  The fact that your apartment has been condemned 
reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
      
___  The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too 
often in conversation.
      
___  You still live with your parents, and attending 
night classes to get your High School diploma, are 
slight negatives.
       
___  You mention your ex-wife's name more than 
you mention mine.

___  Your gift of a 2 oz. Hershey Bar, with almonds , 
showed style.

___  Three final words.... Size does matter. 
      
                Sincerely,
                    
                [Your name here]


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