Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 

   My Brother, My Son

   Another Story by Gil Gamesh

   He's going to kill me!  I know it!  She says not to worry and I should
just relax.  She says everything will be fine.  Shit!  She said it couldn't
happen.  Didn't she?  I don't know what to do.  I can't face him!  How
could I be so stupid?  Pregnant!  Damn!

   Where to begin?  At the beginning, of course.

   My father and mother and I have lived for the last three years in
officers' quarters on one of the largest military bases in the South.  My
father is an Army lieutenant colonel who works in intelligence.  He's tall
and slim and always looks good in his uniform, especially in his dress
blues.  I'm proud he's my father and I love him a lot.  My mother is a
nurse who works at the base hospital.  I love her a lot too.  She's tall
too, slim with a great figure.  I can look at her breasts or derriere for
hours.  Me?  I'm a tall skinny blond long-haired boy who will be a freshman
this fall in the high school for on-base dependent kids.  I'm also a
fourteen-year-old kid who is always terminally horny.  Puberty started for
me when I was twelve and is still kicking the shit out of me.  It all
happened in the summer before I began high school.

   It started the day I did a run with two buddies who lived near our
quarters.  We usually ran in the early morning hours to avoid the
oppressive heat of the typical summer day.  We ran our usual route, a short
distance on the sidewalk in the married officers' quarters' area, then a
loop around the parade ground, a loop around the weapons museum, and
finally back home through a picnic area under a grove of tall pines.  I
didn't stop to talk this time.  The early morning was humid and oppressive
with a threat of rain and I was dripping sweat.  I ran back to the small
house where my mother and father and I lived.

   As usual, the three of us had run without shirts, in running shoes and
shorts.  I had on white compression shorts under black running shorts.  The
white shorts extended down to mid-thigh and were so tight I could hardly
pull them up and over my butt.  In them, I always carefully arranged my
testicles so they were comfortable and arranged my penis so that it was
curved downward over them.  I liked the way the white shorts held my penis
and testicles snug so they didn't flop around when I ran.  The black ones
were much shorter and looser and were split high on each side.  I thought
the combination gave me a sexy look and I wanted the young girls in our
neighborhood to see me.  I was proud of the big bulge in my shorts and my
lean hard almost-naked body.

   I went around to the carport door into the kitchen and took off my shoes
and socks.  I had once stepped in some dog poop and my mother had smelled
it and fussed at me for tracking it into the house.  My shoes were clean
this time.  I left them just outside the door and started for the bathroom
so I could shower.  I wanted a long leisurely shower with the hot water
beating down on my back.  I intended to masturbate for the first time
today, certainly not the last.  I stopped in the kitchen long enough to
take off my black shorts, gulp down about a pint of cold milk straight from
the jug, and then went down the short hallway to our bedrooms: mom and
dad's big one and my small one.  When I started to pass mom's bedroom, I
was extra quiet as always.  She usually slept late when her work schedule
allowed and I didn't want to wake her.

   I heard a faint noise and I wondered if she was crying again.  I knew
she tried to hide it from me when she cried.  I knew she missed my father
and so did I but I couldn't cry for him like she could.  Guys don't cry
like that.

   The door to her bedroom was slightly ajar and I peeked in to see if she
was awake.  What I saw was, to a fourteen-year old perpetually-horny boy,
unbelievable.  She was lying on her back, wearing her usual white cotton
panties and one of my father's long t-shirts.  She wasn't sleeping.  There
was a towel over her pillow and her long blonde hair on it was damp and
straight.  I knew she had been in the shower minutes ago.  Her hair would
be slightly curly when it dried.  She had pushed the shirt up and I could
see her hand holding her milky-white rounded breast with her thumb and
finger on the rose-colored nipple.  The other hand was in her panties,
curved down between her legs, and it was moving.  I could almost see her
fingers in her pussy.  She was masturbating!

   I knew I shouldn't watch her doing something so private but I couldn't
move.  Since puberty, she wasn't always my mother.  Quite often, she was
Woman, a tall beautiful long-haired creature with soft rounded breasts and
a sensuous butt and something secret between her legs that she always kept
hidden from me.  I stood there in just my white compression shorts, my
heart almost beating out of my chest, and watched her hand moving between
her legs.

   My penis tried to get hard but, curved down in my shorts, it couldn't. I
pulled my shorts away from my stomach, reached down and tugged it up so
that it was pointing toward my navel.  I gave a sigh of relief and let it
swell to its full size.  I was proud of how big it was now that puberty had
worked its magic.

   Perhaps my sigh was too loud, even with the air conditioner running as
usual.  She raised her head and looked at me.  I couldn't move.  I looked
at her face, then quickly down at her hand, then back at her face.  She
looked at my face, then down at my shorts, and then back at my face.

   I wanted to let her know I understood what she was doing.  I had
intended to do the same thing and I wasn't ashamed of it.  Before he left
for a three-month deployment, my father had talked to me again about
masturbating and emphasized that it was normal for young boys and there was
no reason to be ashamed of doing it.  I usually enjoyed it at least once
every day but I had never thought of women enjoying the same thing.

   Before he left, my father had told me to take care of my mother.  He
said that I was to do anything she asked and that I should know that he
approved.  He had his hand on my shoulder and we were looking at each other
when he told me.  The request seemed strange to me.  I was always kind and
loving to her especially when he was gone.  I promised him I would take
good care of her.  I always kept my promises to my father and he always
trusted me.

   I had done my best to help her around the house but I knew there was
little I could do to ease the pain of his absence.  He was gone this time
somewhere overseas on something secret as usual and he would be away for
over at least another month.  More than once I had listened to her crying
for him at night and wished that there was something I could do.  I decided
to do something for her that I had never done before.

   I reached down to my shorts, slowly rolled them down over my hips,
tugged them down my legs, used my bare feet to strip them completely off,
and then stepped out of them.  For the first time since childhood, I was
completely naked before her.  When I straightened up, my hard penis was
pointing at the ceiling.  I ran my fingers over my wrinkled scrotum to
stretch it from the compression of my shorts and through my little patch of
blond pubic hair.  I leaned back and let my hips roll forward to display my
penis and testicles for her.

   She looked at me without speaking.  I could see her eyes flitting from
my face, down over my sweaty body to my genitals, and then back to my face.
My long blond hair was wet with sweat and I used one hand to smooth it back
from my face.  She still had her hand in her panties but it wasn't moving
now.  I reached down to my penis, pointed it at her, and then slowly slid
my foreskin back and forth a few times.  I wanted her to see the blood-red
head as my foreskin covered and uncovered it.  Her breasts were hidden now
by her t-shirt but it was damp and they were clearly defined.  Her nipples
stood up in little points under the shirt.  Her hidden hand began to move
again, making a slowly undulating mound under her white panties.  I stroked
my penis in rhythm to her rubbing.  Finally she spoke.

   "Come here, Ryan," she whispered.

   "I was just going to take a shower," I said.  "I'm all sweaty."

   "Were you going to masturbate?" she asked.

   I simply nodded, watching her hand slowly moving in her panties just as
my hand was slowly moving back and forth on my penis.

   "Come here," she whispered again, and gently patted the bed beside her.
"Come lay down in the bed with me."

   I walked over to the side of the bed but then hesitated to get in bed
with her.  I took my hand off my penis and let it point upwards again.  She
looked at it while I hesitated, wondering what she wanted with me and what
I could do for her and if she wanted me to do what I wanted to do for her.

   "When did my little boy become such a fine man?" she said, whispering
again.  "You're going to be as big a man as your father."

   "I hope so," I said, wondering if she meant that my penis would be as
big as his or that I was going to be as tall as him.

   "Lie down with me, Ryan," she said.  "I want to talk to you."

   I lay down with her, on my side facing her, put my hand back on my
penis, and started slowly stroking it again.  She turned on her side facing
me with her hand moving again in her panties.  I wondered if she wanted me
to masturbate with her.  Even the thought of doing that with her made my
penis grow harder and my heart beat faster.

   We lay there for a minute or so, looking in each other's eyes and
glancing down at what our hands were doing.  I felt the first faint signs
of an impending orgasm and I didn't want to come on her bed.  I stopped,
bent my penis so that it was pointed at her and the secret something she
was stroking, and held it with my thumb and one finger.

   "I masturbate too, Ryan," she whispered.  "Are you surprised?"

   I nodded and then dared to say what I wanted.

   "Would you let me see you do it?  You're watching me do it.  It's only
fair for me to watch you."

   My heart was about to beat its way out of my chest.  My mouth felt dry
and my breathing was labored and heavy.  Her face didn't reveal anything
for a moment and then she smiled at me.  She turned on her back, lifted her
derriere off the bed, and slowly peeled her panties down her legs.  She
pulled one bare leg out and then used her foot to push her panties
completely off the other leg, the same way I had shed my compression
shorts. Then she sat up, pulled her night shirt over her head, and quickly
lay back down.

   I lifted up on my left elbow, trying to see what had always been hidden
from me.  I had occasionally seen her beautiful perfect breasts but I had
never seen what she had between her legs.  I took a swift glance at her
breasts, the milky white skin and the little pink circles around the little
darker pink nipple.  Then I looked down.  I was disappointed; I saw nothing
except a smooth hairless mound.  I bent my neck, trying to see where she
had been rubbing with her fingers.  I finally saw the beginning of a cleft
but with something strange in it, something that looked like a little
ridge. I looked back at her face and I suppose she saw that I was puzzled.

   "What is it?" she whispered.

   "You don't have any hair, you know, down there."

   "Your father likes it that way," she said, grinning.  "He doesn't like
to have to floss to get pubic hair out of his teeth."

   I couldn't believe what I had heard.  I knew she meant that he put his
mouth down there.  I had heard that guys did it but I couldn't picture my
parents doing it.  I wondered if she would let me do it, maybe expect me to
do it, but I didn't know how to do it.

   I leaned over, intending to kiss her on the cheek as I had done
thousands of times before, but she either inadvertently or deliberately
turned her face toward mine.  My lips touched hers and she opened her mouth
and said my name, a soft whispered Ryan.  I felt the breath come out of her
and into me and I was seized with a desire to kiss her as I had never
kissed her before.  I opened my lips to hers and pressed my body against
her side.  She resisted for a second and then yielded to me.  I felt her
tongue briefly teasingly touch mine and I kissed her with a passion which
was new to me.  My mouth opened wider and my tongue went looking for hers.

   My erect penis was uncomfortably bent downward between our bodies.  I
reached down and rescued it and then pressed it against her side.  Still
kissing her, I reached up and put my hand on her breast.  She sighed
deeply, put her hand first over mine on her breast and pressed down, then
put her hand behind my head and ran her fingers through my long damp hair.
We both had our mouths open and I knew she was yielding to me and she
wanted me to do something with her.  I moved down and looked at her
beautiful breasts.  I knew she had breast fed me as a baby and I had sucked
on those nipples before.  I took the nipple of one breast in my mouth and
nursed at it for the first time in years.

   My heart was pounding even faster and my breath rasped noisily in and
out of my nose.  I shut my eyes and yielded to the desires which had taken
me prisoner.  I alternated between her breasts, sucking and licking, and I
slowly sneaked my hand between her thighs.  She moved her legs apart and I
knew she was giving me access to her.  I explored, found two little closed
lips, teased them apart, explored more, found a place where my seeking
finger could gain entrance to her hot wet body.  I moved my finger in
circles, tried to plumb the depths, and wondered, as snug as she was on my
finger, how she could ever take a man's penis into her.  She moaned and
pulled me over her.

   I moved over her and put one knee between her legs.  She spread her legs
wider and I put the other knee beside the first one.  Still kissing her, I
lowered myself down on her with my chest against her soft breasts and my
hard penis pressed against her stomach.  My testicles were still warm from
our run, hanging loose in their scrotum, and I felt them settle down
between her thighs.

   I was still for a moment and then I moved downward a little and began to
stab at her with my penis.  I knew that somewhere between her legs there
was an opening which had welcomed my father's penis into her.  I wanted
mine in her too but I didn't know how to get it in her.  Each stab was met
with unyielding flesh somewhere down there and each painful thrust caused
me to grunt.  I was wild with desire, not knowing what I was doing,
instinctively trying to find the place where I could push my penis into
her.

   "Lift up," she whispered.

   I lifted my hips so that my penis wasn't touching her.  She reached down
between our bodies, bent it down, rubbed the head up and down in something
wet and warm, and gently tugged on it.  I held still, hardly believing that
she wanted me to push it into her but wanting so much to do it.  She bent
herself almost in half, locked her ankles around my waist, and then put
both her hands on my butt and pulled.  I relaxed and let my penis slide
inside her, into her living flesh.  I knew nothing except the exquisite
feelings of having my penis sunk to my testicles inside her.

   By instinct, I began to move in and out of her.  I wasn't thinking
anymore.  I wasn't trying to decide what I wanted or what she wanted.  I
was doing what my body knew how to do and had to do to release my life
inside her.  After only a moment or so of thrusting, my orgasm boiled up
inside me and I spurted deep in her vagina again and again.  I groaned with
the exquisitely-painful pleasure as something inside me pulsed my semen out
of me and into the depths of her.

   With the first spurt, she went wild and started keening shrilly and
bucking her pelvis against mine so hard it was almost painful.  As my
orgasm faded, hers began and I felt her vagina squeezing and relaxing
around the head and shaft of my penis.  I held still until her vagina
stopped clenching and she relaxed.  I knew that what we had done was the
way it was between a man and a woman and it was good and right and
wonderful.

   Slowly my body lost its tenseness and I relaxed on top of her, barely
supporting myself on my elbows, with my cheek touching hers and my sweaty
chest against her sweaty breasts.  I lay there in complete surrender to
what I had just done, my penis still rock hard inside her.  She had her
arms and legs wrapped tightly around me and I knew she didn't want me to
move off her.  At length, she put her hands against my chest and gently
pushed.  I lifted up so that my face was above hers, my eyes locked with
hers.

   A drop of sweat fell from the tip of my nose onto her cheek.  I leaned
down and licked it away, then, liking the taste of her sweaty cheek, I
licked back to her ear lobe and down her throat to her chest.  She was wet
with sweat, either from her own body or mine.  Slowly I licked her throat
and as much of her chest as I could.  I pushed up on my elbows, bent my
neck and then sucked her nipples into little erections.  After a minute or
so, I relaxed on top of her again, my face only inches from hers.

   "Sarah," I barely whispered, using the name by which my father always
called her.  To me, she had always been Mom.  I hoped she wasn't offended
to hear me say it.

   "Are you Connor?" she asked, her face showing confusion, barely
whispering.

   I didn't know what she meant and I didn't know where the words of my
reply came from.  They simply flowed out of me.

   "Yes, Sarah, I'm Connor.  I'm part Connor, your husband, who loves you
eternally beyond all time and space.  I'm also part you, part Sarah, who
loves Connor the same way.  And I'm Ryan too, created out of the love
Connor and Sarah have for each other.  I'm Ryan who wants to love you so
that you stop hurting so much.  He loves you too."

   I was confused.  My answer didn't sound like me.  I had never been as
eloquent as my father in speaking.  The words reflected what I wanted to
say but they weren't my words.

   She looked deep into my eyes, searching for something.  I knew I was
both Connor and Sarah.  I loved both of them, loved them very much.  I was
also Ryan, conceived inside her from her egg and Connor's sperm.  I wanted
so much to love her as Connor had loved her once upon a time about fifteen
years ago.  But most of all I wanted so much to ease her pain from his
absence.

   "Make love to me, Connor...Ryan, whoever you are.  Make love to me
please."

   Even after one orgasm, my penis was still hard.  I began moving my hips
again, as slowly as possible, wanting to feel her vagina gripping my penis
as it slid eagerly into and reluctantly out of her.  I held my head above
hers, smiling slightly at her and looking deep into her eyes.  If her face
reflected what she was feeling, then she was experiencing as much pleasure
as I was.

   What I felt was like nothing I had ever experienced before.  I had
experimented with lots of ways of masturbating but none could compare with
feeling her vagina gripping my penis as it moved in her.  She wrapped her
legs forcefully around my waist with her heels on my butt, encircled me
with her arms, and pulled my chest down against her soft breasts.  For a
moment, I found it hard to move my penis in and out of her but then my body
knew to use an undulating movement of my hips that drew my penis almost out
of her and then pushed it back in until my testicles bumped against her
soft ass cheeks.

   "Sarah, oh, Sarah," I whispered.

   "Yes, Connor, Ryan, whoever you are," she whispered in my ear.  "Make
love to me.  Fuck me.  I need you.  Oh, I need you."

   I surrendered to doing what my body demanded and pistoned in and out of
her wet warm depths until I came again and poured out my life in her.  I
didn't feel her vagina squeezing around my penis this time and I wondered
whether she had come or not.  I didn't know what to do.  For at least a
while, my penis was too sensitive to continue but I wanted her to come a
second time also.

   I was about to ask her what she wanted me to do when something my father
had told me came back to me.  He had told me many times that a real man
takes the responsibility for his own actions.  He said that I should never
have unprotected sex with a girl and that I must use a condom if I wished
to avoid becoming a father.  Just that thought was enough to deflate my
penis but I couldn't bring myself to take it out of her.  I raised my head
over hers and stared in her smiling eyes.

   "Sarah," I said and then, "Mom, I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have done this.
I shouldn't have come in you.  What if I've made you pregnant?"

   She pulled my head back down so my cheek was against hers and whispered
in my ear.

   "Connor," she said and then, "Ryan, you don't need to worry about that."

   She told me that after I was born, she and Connor had wanted to have
another child as soon as possible.  She had nursed me for over six months,
all the while having unprotected sex with my father.  When I was three and
she had not conceived again, she and my father had gone to a fertility
doctor who ran all sorts of tests on both of them and then told them she
likely would never have another child.  Both had problems but the worst was
my father's sperm.  His testosterone level was more than normal but his
sperm count was low and many were not normal.  They had not used any
contraceptives for the next ten years and she had never gotten pregnant
again.

   When she was through whispering, I lifted my head above hers again and
looked at her eyes, still smiling with love.  She put her hands on each
side of my head, drew my face down to hers, and kissed me again.  I felt
her tongue touch my lips and I opened to her and slowly sank deeper into
her and kissing her and loving her.  I felt my penis begin to respond and I
began to move my hips slightly.  She put her hands on my behind and held me
still.

   "Who are you?  Tell me, please." she asked pleading.  "Are you Connor or
are you Ryan?  I've got to know."

   I wanted to tell her that I was just her son, Ryan.  I didn't understand
how she could think I was Connor, her husband.  I wanted someday to be
worthy of my father but I knew that I wasn't yet.  I knew I had to tell her
that I was just Ryan.

   "I told you, Sarah," I whispered.  "I'm Ryan but I'm also Connor and
Sarah.  Your love created me.  I'm part of you and him as long as I live."

   That wasn't what I had intended to say and again I didn't know where the
words came from.  I closed my eyes and shook my head in confusion.  I
struggled to retrieve the words I wanted to say to her.

   "Just love me, Sarah.  Please love me."

   "I love you, Ryan," she finally said.  "I shouldn't love you like this
but I can't help myself.  We really shouldn't do this; you know."

   "I know but just one more time, Sarah, please, just one more time."

   I looked in her eyes, hoping that she would see the pleading in mine. 
Then she shook her head from side to side and smiled and I didn't know what
to do.

   "No, Ryan," she said.  "You've come twice in just a few minutes.  It
won't kill you if I don't let you do it again.  You should learn to enjoy
the journey and not to rush to the finish.  Someday you're going to find a
woman to love and she'll teach you the difference between fucking and
making love."

   She put her hands against my chest, rolled slightly to one side, and
then pushed.  I reluctantly withdrew my still-hard penis from her and
rolled over beside her on my back.

   "Are you ever going to let me do it again, like maybe tonight?" I asked.

   "No, Ryan, listen to me.  You must learn to go slow and try to please me
as well as you.  You should make sure a woman enjoys having sex with you.
Girls aren't going to like you if you go bang, bang, whew."

   "You didn't like what I did?" I asked, confused.  "You came the first
time; didn't you?"

   "Yes, Ryan.  I came but I was close to an orgasm when you walked in. 
I'm not being critical of you.  I wouldn't have expected anything more from
someone your age, with your lack of experience."

   "I just want to love you, Sarah.  I've listened to you cry too many
times at night.  I know father's deployment is longer this time but he'll
soon be back."

   "Ryan, you may call me Sarah when we are together but don't ever do it
around anyone else.  Then you must call me Mom."

   "Yes, Sarah."

   "Now, I want you to go take a shower and don't use all the hot water.  I
think I need to shower again too."

   "We could shower together.  That will save the hot water."

   "No, Ryan.  We've done enough for this time.  You've got to give me time
to think."

   "Yes, Sarah."

   I heard her say "for this time" and that was enough to convince me that
there would be a next time.

   "Sarah, when I hear you crying at night, I want so much to come in your
room and get in bed with you and just hold you and love you so you don't
hurt so much.  Would you let me do that?  I promise I'll be good."

   "Ryan, you're not bad.  If I let you, you'll get aroused and get an
erection and want to have sex with me again.  I was very vulnerable when
you came in here while I was so horny.  Please, don't push me.  Let me
think about what we've done."

   About a week later, I was again awakened by the sound of crying.  I
could tell she was trying to muffle it but I knew what the faint sounds
were.  Her bedroom door was closed and so was mine but the sounds were
clear enough.  I was sleeping in the nude as usual but I knew I shouldn't
go to her naked.  I just wanted to do something, to hold her and tell her I
loved her, anything to keep her from crying.

   My desk and bed made a V in one corner of my small bedroom.  I sat up on
the bed, turned on the light on my desk, and rummaged through the drawers
of the desk until I found what I wanted: a jock strap, some compression
shorts, and some pajamas.  I'd worn the pajamas once when I was first given
them and never since.

   I stood up and put on the jock strap first.  It was certainly tight
enough.  I tried a few arrangements of my testicles and penis to see which
was the most likely to restrain my penis and I chose the one with it bent
down over my testicles.  Then I put on the compression shorts.  They were
certainly tight enough too.  I rubbed my hand over the mound between my
thighs.  I couldn't believe my penis could become erect bent down and with
two restraints.  Then I put on the pajama bottoms to hide everything
underneath and turned to go to her room.

   She was standing in the open door to my room watching me.  She had on a
pink nightgown that came half way down her thighs.  I wanted to see if she
had on the same sort of white cotton panties but if she did they were
hidden.  Her blond hair was wild and her face looked like she had been
crying.  She was still beautiful.

   "What are you doing, Ryan?" she whispered.  "Why did you put all those
things on?"

   "I was about to come to your room," I said.  "I just wanted to hold you
and tell you I love you and maybe you'd stop crying.  I put these on so I
couldn't get an erection."

   She stood and just looked at me for a minute or so, unsmiling, her eyes
narrowed, her lips clenched.  I didn't know what she wanted me to do. 
Finally she decided.

   "Take them off," she said.

   I wanted to take them off so I quickly obeyed her.  I pushed the pajama
bottoms down and stepped out of them.  Then I stuck my hands in the sides
of the compression shorts and peeled them down to my knees.  I pulled one
leg out and used my foot to push the shorts down so I could step out of
them.  I stopped, standing there in just the jock strap.  I didn't know
what she wanted but I knew what I wanted.

   "Take off your nightgown," I said.

   She showed surprise on her face but she pulled her nightgown over her
head and dropped it on the floor.  She didn't have on any panties.  She was
completely naked.  I looked at her for a moment and then stripped my jock
strap off.

   She tossed her blonde hair back out of her face, then ran her hands down
over her breasts, her small firm breasts with nipples where I had nursed,
her beautiful milky-white breasts with areolas so faintly pink as to be
almost invisible.  She dropped her hands down to the juncture of her legs
and then moved them away to uncover a little hairless mound with just the
beginnings of a cleft.  Then she relaxed her hands down to her sides, palms
turned toward me, and I knew that was a sign of welcome.  She wasn't my
mother; she was Woman and I wanted her.  My penis immediately surged up and
was hard within seconds.

   I stood transfixed when she walked over to me.  She pressed against me
and held me, her soft breasts against my chest, her hands on my shoulders,
and my hard penis against her stomach.  I realized that I was a little
taller than her now.

   "We're going to make love tonight, Ryan," she said.  "Not fuck.  Make
love.  We're going to make love in your bed, not in the bed where Connor
makes love to me.  I shouldn't have done it there with you.  Do you want
to?"

   Did I want to?  I wanted to so much it hurt.  I barely breathed, "Yes."

   "I want you to make love to me like your father does, Ryan.  He plays me
like a violin sometimes.  He drives me out of my mind before he ever gives
me what I need: his penis.  Do you want to do that?"

   "Yes, Mom, I...

   She cut me short.  "I'm not Mom now, Ryan.  I'm Sarah.  Don't you ever
call me Mom again when we're in bed together!  Do you understand?

   "Yes, Sarah."

   She reached over to my bed, picked up my pillow, and dropped it at my
feet.  I had no idea why she had put the pillow there.  Then she put her
hands on my sides, knelt down on the pillow, and slid her hands down to my
hips.  I knew about oral sex but I couldn't believe that she would do it to
me.

   "Put your hands on my shoulders and keep them there," she said.  I
obeyed her command.

   At first she simply knelt there looking at my penis and testicles.  As
usual my testicles were hanging low.  I had been kidded in the shower at
school more than once about my low hangers.  She cupped them in her hand,
gently lifted them, and then kissed them one after the other.

   "Your father's balls are like this, Ryan," she whispered.  "He won't
wear briefs or jockey shorts.  He says he likes to let them hang free. 
Maybe yours are a little bit smaller than his but not much."

   "I know," I whispered back.  "I've seen his.  When we go swimming, he
and I change together.  If he likes to let them hang loose, why does he
like to wear a Speedo?"

   "He started wearing one when we were stationed in France when you were
five.  I don't know whether he likes to wear one or not.  I'm the one who
likes to see him in one.  I like to see you in one too so that's what I buy
for you.  You're both so damned sexy."

   Then she put one hand on my penis, held it down, slid the foreskin back,
and took the head in her mouth.  I stopped breathing for a moment.  Her
hand began to move slowly back and forth on the shaft.  Her other hand was
wrapped around my dangling scrotum, pulling down slightly on my testicles.
Her mouth began sucking on the head, her tongue began licking on the
sensitive spot where my foreskin is tied to the head, and her closed lips
slid up and down on my penis.

   I assumed she knew what she was doing was going to make me come.  In
probably less than a minute, I came in her mouth.  She kept her mouth on my
penis and swallowed rapidly.  When I had shot my last into her mouth, she
milked my penis down a couple of times, looked up at me, smiled, and
swallowed again.

   My knees almost buckled.  I couldn't believe what had just happened. 
Finally she stood up, pressed against me again, and sought out my mouth
with hers.  I put my hands on her back and pulled her against me.  When I
felt her tongue touch my lips, I opened to her and she insistently
tongue-fucked me for a few seconds.  I tasted my own semen.  I knew she had
not swallowed all of it and wanted me to taste what I had spurted into her
mouth.

   "Let's get in your bed, Ryan," she whispered.  "Now it's your turn to do
me."

   Do her?  I had no idea how to do her.  What did she want?  Some of the
older boys had bragged to us younger ones of performing oral sex on their
girls.  I had a vague idea of how it was done.

   "I don't know how," I whispered.

   "You're about to learn," she said.

   I sat down on the side of my bed.  She pushed me back so I swung my legs
up and stretched out on my bed.  She crawled over me to my right side and
lay down on her left side turned toward me.  She put one leg over mine and
her hand on my chest.

   "I love to do that to your father, Ryan," she whispered.  "Does that
surprise you?"

   "Yeah, it does," I whispered.

   "I love him, Ryan.  I think I love him as much as it is humanly possible
to love someone else.  He's so hard and muscular and I love everything
about his body, his hard muscles, his long legs, his penis.  His is bigger
than average and I guess yours is going to be big too.  It's almost as big
as his now."

   She moved her hand down and wrapped it around my penis.  It was still
engorged but not quite hard.  She stroked it a few times and I could feel
it becoming hard again.

   "I hope so.  I love him too, you know.  I want to be just like him, I
mean in every way, not just my penis."

   "I hope you are, Ryan.  He's a good man."

   "I know.  I couldn't want a better father."

   She moved her hand down and cupped it under my testicles.  She played
with them and then moved her hand back up to my penis.

   "I like to suck his penis and then swallow his semen, Ryan.  I like
knowing it's going to become part of me.  Sometimes I hold it in my mouth
and kiss him and I suppose we both swallow it.  He never refuses to kiss me
when I have his semen in my mouth.  Did you like it when I kissed you?"

   She began to stroke my penis, slowly this time, not fast like she did
when she had her mouth on the head.  It felt wonderful to have her hand
doing it.

   "I don't know.  I've never done it before.  I guess it was OK, kind of
strange though."

   "He will lick my pussy for what seems like hours sometimes.  I have
orgasms again and again.  I love for him to do that."

   "Do you want me to do it?"

   "Do you want to?"

   "Yes." I had no idea how to do it but I knew I wanted to.  I wanted to
give her the same sort of pleasure and release I experienced when we made
love or fucked or whatever it's called.

   "Good.  That's a wonderful way to show your love for a woman, Ryan.  I
love to have his penis in my mouth.  He loves to have his mouth on my
pussy."

   "At the same time?"

   "Occasionally, but it's better when only one person is doing it."

   "I'd like to do it but I don't know how."

   "I'll show you."

   "Just tell me what you want me to do, Sarah," I said.

   "I will, Ryan, but I want to talk to you first.  Do you know what it
means to let the beast loose?"

   "No."

   "That was how Connor described what he did sometimes.  I loved it when
he was slow and gentle and sweet with me.  I loved it when he let his beast
loose.  When he did that, he fucked me so hard and fast, I think I could
have fired a cannon beside him and he would not have heard it.  Once we
even broke the bed down and he kept fucking me until he came.  I loved to
be fucked like that sometimes.  But you should learn when to let your beast
loose.  You should think about the person you're with and make love to her,
slowly and gently, until she lets you know she wants you to let your beast
loose."

   "How will I know?"

   "I'm not going to teach you, Ryan.  I want you to think about what I've
said.  Make love to a woman, Ryan.  Don't just fuck her.  There's a
difference.  I want you to be as wonderful a lover as your father but I
can't teach you unless you want to learn.  Use your imagination.  Try doing
different things with me.  Think about how I respond."

   "I'll try to learn, Sarah."

   "I know you will.  Now I want you to move down on the bed and put a
pillow under my hips.  I want you to lick my pussy like Connor does.  Think
about how I react and see if you can give me an orgasm."

   She lifted her hips and I stuffed a pillow under her.  She spread her
legs wide and I knew what she wanted me to do.  I moved around between her
spread legs and, on my hands and knees, looked at her pussy closely for the
first time.  Like a lot of fourteen-year-old boys, I had seen pictures of
women's pussies but I'd never seen one like Sarah's.

   The little curved mound that extended back between her legs was
completely hairless and smooth as the inside of her thighs.  I didn't see
how she could get it that way.  I couldn't see any stubble where I expected
to see hair growing, just smooth skin that was just a little pink on the
parts back between her legs.  Between the split mounds, there was a sort of
shaft, smaller than my finger, which split in two with two small lips
tucked under where it split.  I couldn't see any opening and I wondered
where it was.  The little lips or wings were pink, not dark like some
pictures I'd seen.  I was a little surprised that so much of her pussy was
back between her legs, not up front and out like my penis and testicles.

   Back behind her pussy, I could see her puckered asshole.  It was pink
too.  I'd heard some guys brag about fucking a girl there but it looked too
small to hold any guy's dick.

   "What do you want me to do, Sarah?" I asked.

   "Use your thumbs," she whispered.  "Pull to each side.  Then just do
what you want to do."

   I lay down on my stomach, winced when the uncovered head of my penis
rubbed on the sheet, reached under, pulled the foreskin back over the head,
and then relaxed.  I studied how she was made for a moment and then used my
thumbs to pull to each side.  The two little lips separated and I saw the
rosy pink or red flesh on the inside.  I knew she had a clitoris.  I wasn't
a dummy.  I knew that a man's penis and a woman's clitoris developed from
the same little bulb in a fetus.  But I didn't see it, just red wet flesh
where the two little lips came together.

   I had always wondered how girls peed.  I looked for something that she
peed through and saw a little protrusion with a closed-up dimple in the
middle.  That's it, I thought.

   Then I looked for the opening where my penis had been in her.  I didn't
see any opening but I knew it was there.  I used one finger to slide down
between the little lips and finally, at the back, almost to her asshole, my
finger slid into something that completely surrounded it.  I pushed and my
finger slid in more.  I smiled.  I had found it.  I pushed my finger in as
deep as it would go without any resistance.  I smiled more and shook my
head.  I never thought it would be so far back.

   I looked at it for a moment.  It looked so small and I didn't see how it
could hold a man's penis, especially not a big one like my dad's.  Still,
it had held mine and she didn't seem to have any trouble.  I knew I came
out of her but that was an even bigger puzzle.  It was so small and I
couldn't picture a baby coming out of her.  I knew I had been a big baby, a
little over nine pounds, and I couldn't see how it could stretch enough to
let me out.

   I still didn't know what to do.  If I licked her down there, I knew it
would taste like something.  I hoped it wouldn't be gross so I wouldn't
like it.  I remembered something I had done once.  I had been jacking off
in bed and I put my legs back over my head with my dick right above my
mouth.  I kept milking my dick down until I came in my open mouth.  That
was a strange taste but I managed to swallow.  Maybe her pussy wouldn't be
any stranger.

   I shuffled up closer until my face was against her, stuck my tongue out,
pushed it into her vagina, and then kept doing it, sort of tongue fucking
her.  I heard a loud intake of breath and she put my hands on my head. 
Maybe she did like what I was doing.

   She let me do that for a few seconds and then gently pulled my head
upward.  I started licking her from her vagina up as far as her pussy went.
I pulled back and looked where I had been licking.  I saw the wet reddish
pink flesh between the little lips but I didn't see her clitoris.  I knew
enough about doing it to know a girl liked to have her clitoris licked. 
But where was it?

   I started licking again, first with my tongue in her vagina, then a slow
lick over the area between the little lips, all the way to the top.  I
stopped for a moment to swallow my saliva and tasted something strange,
like nothing I'd ever tasted, but not something gross.  I stuck my face
back down and took a couple of deep breaths.  I smelled something I'd never
smelled before on her, not sweat, not a perfume, just something that made
my dick harder so I wanted to fuck her.

   She put her fingers on each side of her pussy and pulled apart and up
and there it was.  Where the little lips came together, there was a blood
red little protrusion about like the tip of my little finger.  I smiled at
it.  I knew where the little red devil hid now and I was going to lick it
to death.

   I tried to do what she wanted and I decided I liked doing it.  It wasn't
so much that I got any pleasure out of it but I knew it gave her a lot of
pleasure and made her want to have my dick in her.  She kept her fingers on
each side of my head and I kept slowly and gently licking her pussy.  She
started moaning, sort of an animal growl, and I interpreted that as showing
she liked what I was doing.  Then she started hunching at my face and I had
a little trouble licking her.

   I decided maybe I could hold her down.  I stuck two fingers in her
vagina and pressed down a little.  She moaned louder but she was still.  I
started sliding my fingers in and out, finger-fucking her I suppose even
though I'd never done it before.  At the same time, I kept licking her,
maybe a little harder.

   I stopped for a moment to catch my breath and looked down at what I had
been licking.  Her clitoris was bigger now, about like the end of one of my
fingers.  It looked like a little dick and I decided to try sucking it.  I
kept at her, finger fucking her, licking her in long strokes, sucking her
little dick, and that did it.  She started cussing and I felt her vagina
squeezing on my fingers.  I slowed down, stopped licking and sucking, held
my fingers still until her pussy stopped clenching, and then lifted my head
and looked at her face.  Her eyes were closed and she was smiling like she
was pleased with what I had done.  After a short while, she lifted her head
and grinned at me.

   "You're your father's son, Ryan," she whispered.  "You're going to be a
great lover for women."

   "I hope so," I said.

   "Now you can fuck me," she whispered.  "Start off slow and just let your
beast loose whenever you want to."

   I crawled on top of her, she showed my dick where to go, and I slid it
into her hot juicy pussy in one long stroke.  Then I stopped moving, just
marveling at the feeling of her pussy holding my dick.  I held my head a
little above hers, looking at her and loving the look on her face.  She put
her arms around my chest, her legs around my waist, and bumped me with her
heel right where the crack of my ass begins.  I held still.  I knew I was
going to do it but I was in no urgent hurry this time.  I wanted to be slow
and make it last a long time.

   "Put your arms under me and wrap your hands around my shoulders," she
whispered.  "That's what Connor does.  He says it's so I can't get away."

   I did what she said and then started moving, just slow and easy, looking
down at her face and her looking up at mine.  She smiled.  I smiled back.
After a while she put one hand behind my head and pulled it down.  I kissed
her, just lips to lips, until I felt her tongue touch my lips.  I closed my
eyes, opened my mouth to hers, and kept moving slowly and gently.

   I don't know when I stopped thinking about holding back on what I was
doing.  I gradually started moving my hips faster and shoving my dick into
her harder.  I suppose that's when I let my beast loose.  I was nothing but
a hard dick moving back and forth in a hot juicy pussy.  I felt the first
undeniable twinges of coming and I kept fucking her as hard and fast as I
could until I blasted a load of semen into her depths.

   I didn't take my dick out.  I didn't really lose my hard-on.  I rested
for a while, looking down at her and smiling at her smile.  Maybe my dick
softened a little but, when I started moving again, it stiffened again. 
This time I fucked her for an eternity, just blind, deaf, no awareness of
time or anything except the fucking of her.  She started hunching back at
me and whining.  When I finally started squirting in her again, she growled
like an animal, wiggled frantically, and started banging against me so hard
it almost hurt.  Just as I felt my spurts slow down, I felt her pussy start
convulsing on my penis and I knew we had both come at almost the same time.

   She didn't make me get off her so I stayed in place, heart pounding, and
breath rasping in and out.  This time, my penis lost its stiffness but was
still swollen enough to stay in her.  Finally she put her hands against my
chest and pushed.

   "Ryan, that was a good fuck.  I'll even give you credit for making love
to me.  You've still got a lot to learn but you'll get better with time. 
Now I want you to go to the bathroom and get me wet washcloth and a little
towel.  I'll try not to make a mess on your bed until you get back."

   <><><>

   After that night, with one exception, she came in my bedroom every
Friday night and she was Sarah to me.  Every day, she was Mom to me and she
made me do my chores and work on the summer course I was taking on-line. 
For over a month we made love on those occasions for hours and then slept
tangled together until late the next day.

   When we started, I didn't know what to do with her and everything was a
mystery to me.  I was a virgin in every sense of the word but I'm a smart
kid, a quick learner, and I wanted to learn.  During the next month, I
learned what she liked, what to do to bring her to orgasm, and how to drive
her out of her mind.  There really was no secret.  I was slow and gentle
and persistent.  I watched her facial expressions and her body movements. I
tried different things with her.  I thought about what we did and how she
reacted.  And most of all, I talked to her about what she liked and what
gave her the most pleasure.

   She liked oral sex so I gave it to her.  I liked to start up north and
work my way down south, gentle kisses and caresses, loving her breasts
until her nipples were as hard as my penis, licking her little vertical
belly button clean even though it was never dirty, rubbing my face on the
soft skin of her inner thighs, teasing her by breathing on her pussy, and
anything else except giving her what she wanted: a licking tongue.

   I learned to be slow in bending her backwards until she was almost bent
in half, never quick or forceful, always slow and gentle.  That was the
position I liked most, when her hips were levered upwards and her pussy was
open and glistening and ready for my tongue.  I think that was the position
she liked most as well even though I was totally in control of her and she
was helpless.

   Most of all, I learned to lick her and keep on licking her until her
clitoris was all blood-red and sticking up like a little dick.  Then I
alternated between sucking on it and licking it and finally easing two
fingers into her drooling vagina.  I liked to feel the contractions of her
pussy on my fingers when she came.

   Once I continued to lick her pussy even after she had come hard and
cussed me and tried to pull my ears off and I discovered that she could
come again within minutes.  I never could.  Usually I had to wait at least
ten minutes between orgasms.  She probably could come again within a minute
or two.

   Every time we were together like that, she gave as good as she got.  On
a couple of occasions we turned the lights out and made love in the dark,
just sweaty, grunting, whispering.  I lay there in my bed flat on my back,
hands behind my head, and she sucked me off.  She treated me like I liked
to treat her, just slow and gentle and persistent, just the right
combination of her hand stroking my hard penis, her tongue licking from my
testicles up to the head, her mouth wrapped around the head, sucking like I
was a milkshake and my dick was the straw she was using to suck everything
out.  I don't understand it but she seemed to like swallowing my semen. 
She usually caught all of my come in her mouth and didn't stop even when I
had squirted my last.  She just kept gently sucking on the head for a
minute or so longer and I really liked that.

   One Wednesday afternoon, we had a summer thunderstorm and maybe that was
why we did something different.  She was off from her crazy work schedule
and we were home together.  We were both almost naked, me in some little
blue briefs and white socks, her in white socks and panties and a long
loose t-shirt with nothing underneath.  I had turned off the TV and the air
conditioning and, as the house heated up and the humidity rose, we had
gradually shed almost all our clothes.  Lightening was popping close by and
thunder was constant and I knew to turn off all electrical stuff except the
lights.

   I was in Dad's lounge chair reading a good science-fiction book.  Mom
was puttering, that's what she called it, around the house.  She came to
the door and stood just looking at me.  I knew something was about to
happen.  She had a frown on her face but her eyes kept sweeping over me.

   Suddenly she removed her t-shirt, fixed her eyes on mine, and hooked her
thumbs in her panties.  I raised the chair, stood up, hooked my thumbs in
my briefs, and waited.  We both stripped our underwear off and kicked them
to one side and, except for white socks, stood naked in front of each
other. My penis went from soft and dangling to hard and standing up in just
a few seconds.  She walked over to me, wrapped her hand around it, and then
just stood there looking down at it.  I waited for her to let me know what
she wanted.

   She pushed me back down in the chair, grabbed a pillow from the couch,
pushed my legs apart, and dropped the pillow.  I knew what I was about to
get, at least I thought I did.  She stood looking me up and down for a
moment, from my face, my body, my hard dick waiting for her.  I watched the
expression on her unsmiling face, a strange expression I couldn't remember
seeing before.  I could hear her breathing, louder and stronger than usual.


   After perhaps a minute, she knelt on the pillow and made love to my
penis and testicles.  That's the only way to describe what she did.  She
wasn't trying to hurry me to an orgasm, not even close.  Usually a
combination of fast hand stroking while sucking on the head could make me
come.  She didn't do that.  She just gently licked and sucked my penis,
even my testicles, in no hurry, just sort of lazy easy like.  I liked what
she was doing.  I slouched down a little lower, closed my eyes, and
surrendered.

   All too quickly, she stopped, stood up, and I opened my eyes.  She had
her hand extended and she was smiling.  I took her hand and stood up, just
inches from her.  She wrapped her other hand around my penis, closed her
eyes, and offered me her mouth.  I kissed her gently, slowly, and, after a
few seconds, touched her lips with my tongue.  She opened to me and I
closed my eyes and we kissed, just an unhurried gentle kiss.

   She put both arms around me with her hands on my buns.  I did the same
and pulled her against my hardness.  We stood there with bodies pressed
tightly together, mouths open, lost in kissing, in no hurry to do anything
else.  I could have stood there all afternoon, lightening striking close
by, thunder booming, both of us all sticky and sweating, both audibly
breathing, my heart beating almost out of my chest.

   Finally she pushed away from me, wrapped her hand around my penis, and
dragged me down the hallway to my room.  I smiled because I knew what she
wanted, not on Friday night as usual, but on Wednesday afternoon while the
thunderstorm was raging outside.

   In my room, she quickly crawled in my bed, spread her legs, held her
arms out to me, and smiled an invitation to me.  I assumed she wanted me to
make love to her or fuck her and let my beast loose.  That wasn't what I
wanted to do.  I wanted to please her the same way she had done me, with my
mouth.

   I kept two pillows on my bed, one for behind my head, one for between my
knobby knees when sleeping on my side.  She had her head on one.  I grabbed
the other, stuck it under her hips, went around to the end of the bed and
flopped.  I licked her from her taint to her clit, until the little lips
were splayed out to each side and I tasted and smelled her arousal, just
the same way she had sucked my dick, just slowly and sensuously and gently.
She caught me by the ears and pulled but I shook her hands off and kept
licking her.

   I felt her relax and heard her moan and that was what I wanted.  For a
while, that's all I did.  I didn't use my fingers to fuck her.  I didn't
use my thumbs to pull her big lips apart.  All I used was my tongue and
that was enough to bring her clit out of hiding but I didn't want her to
come with me licking her.  I wanted her to come when I had my dick in her
and was giving her another gallon of my baby makers.

   The second time she pulled my ears, I gave her a piteous, "Ow, Sarah,"
and crawled up on top of her.  I slid my arms partially under her and
wrapped my hands around her shoulders.  No way was she going to get away
from me.  She used both hands to guide my dick into her pussy and then
imprisoned me with her arms and legs.  I quickly rounded first, second,
third, and then slid home and scored.  Well, maybe I scored a minute or two
later after my beast romped for a minute or so when my dick squirted out
the contents of my prostate gland and my balls and I thought I'd died and
gone to heaven again.

   But, damn, she didn't come when I did.  I rested for a while, still on
top of her, still wrapped up in her arms and legs, until my heart slowed
down from two hundred miles per hour and my lungs could finally get enough
air.  As usual, after one time, my dick stayed swollen but just not stiff.
I gave it a tentative out and in again and it seemed to work OK but just
not quite ready.  I waited for a while longer, tried again, and it worked
better and gradually stiffened as I pumped in and out.  I slowly let the
beast out of his cage and let it go wild.  This time, when my dick blasted
another load into her pussy, she squealed and I felt her pussy contracting
and relaxing at the same time I was filling her up to overflowing.

   "How did you like that, Sarah?" I whispered in her ear after I caught my
breath.  "Was that a good fuck?"

   <><><>

   As the time for my father's return neared, I became more and more
apprehensive and worried about what I had done with her and about how he
would react.  On our final Friday night before his return, she came in my
room naked but smiling and radiantly happy.  I was too worried to smile.

   "Why are you so happy?  Is it because he'll be home next week?" I asked.


   "Yes, Ryan, I'm happy he'll be back in a few days but that's not the
main reason I'm happy," she said.

   "Oh?"

   "Ryan, I'm pregnant!"

   That night, I fucked her three times, one right after the other, and I
still wanted to fuck her more.  Fucked!  Not made love, just fucked, and I
wanted to keep fucking her forever.

   TO BE CONTINUED:



   19